Expensive moments and whoopsie moments

David O’Neill*

Expensive moments and whoopsie moments – aka “to race or not to race”. I have not been doing any racing, nor fanging around in exotic cars lately, so your beloved editor [Sub ed: beloved is a bit strong, isn't it?] suggested that I give you an insight into those whoopsie moments and the expenses of racing plus some other tidbits …

What not to do!

One thing I can assure you – racing is expensive! It’s one of those things where you do not take your beloved with you to the accountants to hear about what it cost you that year. I naively did that some years ago and, so far, it has cost me (and I wasn’t invited) a trip to Samoa, a trip to Fiji, a trip to the Otago Rail Trail and multiple annual visits to WOW in Wellington (with associated expenditure).

My current race car cost me a piano. You know all that rubbish about no secrets in marriage? Well forget it, if you want to race a car, keep your gob shut about the cost of running it.

You can see that your better half works out very quickly that what is good for the goose is good for the gander, so any money you spend on a race car is balanced up by expenditure on the other half of the ledger (so to speak).

Expenses

For the purposes of this article, I did a quick tot up of what I had spent in any financial year on car racing, and roughly I will have spent about $24,000 (plus GST). Not much you say. This is for 2 rallies.

To put it in perspective, however (this is the justification bit), $6,400 went on a new engine (and I’ll come to that later), so running expenses were about $17,500. Not bad you say! You try explaining that to my wife!

The main Targa, entry fees excluded, cost me about $8,000. This is because I take my co-driver and my two mechanics with me and pay all their expenses (and they eat and drink a lot). And petrol just for my car cost $840. Working it out on a $2.50 per litre basis, my car consumed 337 litres of petrol in the space of five days. The big cars will use two or three times more than that. Tyre wear is such that I will probably cut out four tyres over five days’ rallying on tarmac. Entry fees for the Targa NZ this year are $7,500 + GST.

When things go wrong

Of course, it’s all very well if everything goes swimmingly. So far, with my new car, they haven’t. This is in direct comparison to my old car which didn’t put a foot wrong but was slow to boot. The new car is quicker, but so far I have chewed through three motors and... the first motor that I built up cost me $6,400 plus bits and pieces here and there. That went ‘pop’ after about two days so back to the engine rebuilder, who was honourable enough to rebuild it again for nothing. It developed a similar noise in the motor by the end of the big Targa that year. It cost me another $3,000.

Other costs that you can expect to incur are a complete oil change in the gearbox and motor each rally, full wheel alignment and balancing between rallies, and a complete check-up of all bearings, wheels, tyres, new brake pads, new brake fluid, checking the motor and checking for rattles and bangs.

All of this takes time and money.

Whoopsie moments

Then again, there are those moments which you would prefer others did not catch on film. Believe me – it happens. I’d been banging on at the media guys a few years ago about us slow pokes never getting on TV.

Murphy’s Law – I spun out in front of a TV camera, and this was played ad nauseam on national television. However, there are occasions (and you are not insured for this when you are racing) that things go badly wrong. This often requires running repairs to keep on going if it’s possible or retirement from the rally, loss of your entry fee and deposits all around the countryside.

You can see from these photos that things do go badly wrong.

The silver car was on its first outing ever with the new owner. He had just celebrated his birthday the day before, got it terribly wrong in a corner and instead of flying round the corner in spectacular style, flew off the edge, into a paddock and rolled upside down. He had offered me lots of money to not publish this photo, but being true to my journalistic ethos, I decided to go ahead and publish. He still speaks to me – sort of……

The photo below was on the Ohakune mountain climb. The photo has been ‘Photo-shopped’ to give the corner a new name and a new number plate. However, it managed to make a bit of a mess of the front end, wreck the radiator, smash some of the mounts and probably cost a few thousand dollars to fix up.

In regard to the silver car, I do know this cost the owner $15,000 to repair. However, it’s a much more sophisticated car than anything I drive. We usually end up going to the wreckers to get parts when we want them.

I can assure you that nobody in any of these photos or any of the moments I refer to has been hurt. We all get knocked about and bruised, but nine times out of 10, you walk away and that’s because of the safety gear.

A friend of mine in Targa had a mechanical mishap at about 200 kph. There is a spectacular series of photos where the car went rapidly sideways, caught a wheel and barrel-rolled twice in the air before rolling off the road and into a ditch. It was absolutely destroyed; both the driver and co-driver got out and walked off. The only thing that was hurt was the owner’s pocket as it cost him a brand new car.

I used to have a lovely little yellow car. On my second outing in 2006 I managed to roll and wreck it completely. I’ve tried to find the photos but cannot. Needless to say, it broke my heart (and cost me a trip to Fiji).

Racing is like that, however. There are times when you can’t avoid it and there are times when you outdrive your skill level. Most whoopsie moments happen because of the latter. There’s a saying that there are those race car drivers who have crashed and those that are going to crash.

The owner of my old black Civic has managed to prang it twice now. The first time he went out he got over excited at a corner, went round it at the speed of light and managed to park it up the bum of a Fiat parked in a bank.

Having learned this salutary lesson, he then entered Targa Rotorua. I remember coming down out of the hills on a special stage, seeing him parked in the paddock and wondering how on earth he got there.

We later heard that he came down out of the hills at break-neck speed, going far too fast for the corner, managed to put it sideways between two trees which were spaced about the width of the car apart, took out a wire fence, missed another tree and managed to park it up with nothing more than a few scratches across the bonnet.

This guy is a pastor in his local church, and I asked him how on earth he missed all the trees. His reply was that he shut his eyes and prayed. Obviously, the big guy was listening.

Then of course there is the Tui Brewery at Mangatainoka. This is a favourite with the Targa guys – see photo. These two girls greeted us when we rolled in a couple of years ago. My co-driver refused to get out of the car. Don’t know why … [Sub-Ed - I cannot believe I agreed to publish this picture.]

Therefore, for those of you who want to go racing, just do it. Don’t let any concerns get in the way, just do it. Bear in mind, however, buying the race car is one thing. Running it is another and it usually costs you about the same value as the race car annually and then on top of that, when you have a prang, it really starts to hurt. By the same token, the race car community is pretty tight, and people rally around and assist in any and every way they possibly can.

So, I started this article with the title – “to race or not to race” – that’s up to you. You are either hard wired that way or you are not. I am. If you are, then get out there and do it. You will never regret it – your wallet might, but so what……….

Meanwhile, Mrs Petrol Head is planning another trip – without me.

Until next time - when I'll have some real racing to talk about or another car to tell you about.

* David O’Neill is a Hamilton barrister, the NZBA treasurer and only fiscally responsible with other people's money.