issue 2 by Nexus Magazine

02 5 March 2007

ISSUE 1 路 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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WELL THEN, WE’ll HELP YOU Put your free time to good use! Write for us, and impress thousands of beautiful women and men every week! Nexus needs volunteer writers, reviewers and columnists to contribute to Nexus magazine in 2007. We can’t pay you, but you’ll make great friends, get real publishing experience and have really cool something to boast about. And sometimes we can give you beer and chocolate.

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So what are you waiting for? Fame, fortune and fabulously hot groupies await.* You can either send your story ideas to nexus@waikato. ac.nz, fill in the Nexus contributor form on page 15 and hand it in, visit www.nexusmag.co.nz/contribute and fill in an electronic contributor form, or come see us in person on the ground floor of the Student Union building on the Uni campus.

The voice of the students.

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ISSUE 1 路 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Credits CO-EDITORS

Rosalind Case & Dawn Tuffery nexus@waikato.ac.nz

DESIGNER Matt Scheurich graphics@nexus.npl.co.nz

ADVERTISING MANAGER Tony Arkell admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz 021 176 6180

NEWS EDITOR

Contents

Joshua Drummond news@nexus-npl.co.nz

Nexus Issue 2 5 March 2007

MUSIC EDITOR

Features

htownslut@gmail.com

16 22 26 44

M. Emery

O’Week in Pictures The Nexus Guide to Not Getting Ripped Off Knee deep in Fallujah Auteur House

CONTRIBUTORS THIS ISSUE Candice Bottomsworth, Art Focker, Jessica K, Burton C. Bogan, Burnsy, Aaron Ku, Matt,

90% of students found Orientation to be very orientating Nicky Hager Virtual Careers Short Shorts Haiku News

Regulars 07 14 28 33 34 34 35 35 36 36 37

Josh Drummond & Dawn Tuffery

Ritchie, Jerode Raman, Vitamin C., Special

News 8 – 13

MAIN FEATURE WRITERS

Editorial Lettuce WSU columns Notices The Magic 8 Ball Predicts the Past Agony Art The Society Pages Vitalisa Walk Through Been There, Done That Los Libros

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

37 38 39 40 40 41 42 43 45 46 47

Third Eye in the Sky The Monday Morning Lecture Page Comics WackoWatch Video Games Reviews Citric Gig Guide Films I’ve Got 5 On It Busted

Joe Citizen, Guru Moonbeam, The Panther, Brie Jessen, Richard Swainson, Rocky & Steven, Andrew Neal, Chris Feng, WSU.

CONTACT NEXUS Email: Phone: Fax: Postal:

nexus@waikato.ac.nz 07 838 4653 07 838 4588 Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

Read us online at

www.nexusmag.co.nz The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus Publications 2003 LTD, any of our advertisers, Waikato Students’ Union or APN Media. Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). www.nexusmag.co.nz

Editorial BY ROZ CASE

’M SORRY, BUT I’M ONE OF THOSE

people who really hates O-Week. For most of the academic year, this campus is relatively tranquil and harbours only dedicated students and coffee-drinkers. O-Week isn’t like that though. O-Week is like a combination of wide-eyed first years, pamphlets, ZM’s kidney-destroying sound system, duck shit poisoning and corporate onslaught. Stick all these awful things in to a reasonably compact space and wait for the headache to set in. But often the most disturbing thing about O-Week is the students themselves. You may have noticed that some of the students who were hanging round last week didn’t look very studious. That’s probably because most of them aren’t. O-Week brings out the students who don’t actually study. They’re imaginary students, brought here by all those multinationals who were trying to sell you stuff last week. They don’t know this about themselves yet. They probably won’t work it out

until their parents confront them about their failing grades later in the year. But it’s obvious that the bulk of people who are at university in the first week never come back because, well, they never come back! These throngs of people disappear, presumably to the pub, never to be seen again. It seems that some people enjoy the enrolment and orientation process so much that they are happy to pay thousands of dollars to just do that, before heading off in to the real world (a place that proper university students are deeply afraid of). I’m not sure why anybody would want to pay all that money and not reap any of the benefits, but I guess it depends on your definition of “benefits”. For lots of students, the knowledge and understanding gained through their years in this institution will be worth more than they could ever put a price on. For pseudo-students, the benefits of being a ‘student’ lie more in the perceived lifestyle than in achieving academic merit. I could just be making all of this up because I associate loud noises with obnoxiousness, obnoxiousness with ignorance, ignorance with sexism and racism, racism with NAZI’s, and NAZI’s with arseheads. Thus, the

Student diarys...

NEXUS AND GORDON HARRIS PRESENT

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Calling all artists, designers, photographers, sculpters, crafters, whatever! Nexus wants to put your art on the cover page of the magazine. We want to spotlight great local talents so please send us some of your original art to consider for the cover page. If your artwork is deemed by the Nexus Designer Demon to be satisfactory enough, you will be rewarded with a $50 Gordon Harris gift voucher! Not to mention have your artwork emblazoned on the cover of Hamilton’s only student magazine. For more info read www.nexusmag.co.nz/coverart 386 ANGLESEA ST, HAMILTON · OPEN 7 DAYS PH: 07 834 3952 · EM: hamilton@gordonharris.co.nz

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cacophony of O-Week triggers sensations in me similar to those that I might feel if I were having a conversation with an arsehead (and yes, I’m conscious that equating loud noise with the Holocaust is ﬂippant, irresponsible and invokes Godwin’s Law far too early in the piece, even though this isn’t an internet forum). But it’s equally possible that I’m not making it up at all, due to the fact that lots of people really do IC all their papers. I just looked on the internet for some statistics to support that statement and couldn’t ﬁnd any, but that probably has more to do with my substandard research abilities than the fact that I’m making stuff up off the top of my head. Is it wrong of me to long for quiet autumn mornings and a Belle & Sebastian soundtrack, where only the most diligent of students meander from class to library and everybody looks desperately intelligent and stressed all at the same time? Being a real-life proper student is actually meant to be hard work, last time I checked, and the only glory should be that gleaned through smugness and superiority. Well, that’s how it is in my uni fantasy anyway. I can’t wait for it to be quiet again.

ARE THEY?!

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Peter Stewart ILLUSIVEDISORDER.COM

Trust us, we want to know too. They should have arrived at the Nexus and WSU ofﬁces by Monday, 5th March – unless the water gods decided to waterbog the delivery trucks. They’ll be here very very soon and you’ll be organising your student life with a very good looking diary! Don’t forget: There are still plenty of FREE Nexus wall planners for you to take. Come and get one!

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Nexus News O-Week goes off with drinking, nudity, and swimming in a disgusting lake

PULLING HARD: TEAMS COMPETING IN THE ORIENTATION OLYMPICS. PHOTO BY AARON KU

Pulp Comedy favourite Gish. Even some “celebrities” got into the spirit of things, with Pulp Sport presenter “Ben” donating his body hair to charity. All events were well attended by a mix of new and returning students, with crowds of hundreds in regular attendance at the Village Green. “This O-Week has definitely lifted the standards of activities available on campus, and has helped create a campus culture and life we hope we’ll be able to continue,” Orgad said. Organiser Elmo was lyrical about how well the week had gone. “O-Week – fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Everything’s been getting such a mean crowd, and there’s been a great vibe. All the activities have sort of been feeding of each other, and everyone’s loving it, it’s been wicked. A lot of returning students have been saying that it’s so much better this year.” He added that the event’s success had a lot to do with the level of local and campus involvement.

Students had a blast in an O-Week that organisers have dubbed the “best ever.” The week’s entertainment, put together over months of work by chief organiser James “Elmo” Hartnett, saw students running, competitively eating, losing body hair, drinking, and even plunging into the fetid University Lakes – often in various stages of undress. “O-Week was fabulous, the best daytime activities we’ve ever had,” said Waikato Students Union President Sehai Orgad. “The second day we sold out of O-Week packs, which says something about the level of student interest.” Many first-years had their first ever taste of student living with the on-campus activities and events put on by bars in town. There were Octoberfest-themed nights (complete with spit-roasted pork) foam parties, beach nights, and the usual ubiquitous foam parties. Other activities included popular bands like Spacifix and Concord Dawn, as well as comedy nights with performers like

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“Everyone’s getting behind it – Security, campus management, the WSU, the sponsors, Nexus, the bars, the council – it’s been great,” he said. “Ultimately, it’s got to be good for the enrolment figures too. I think it’ll help keep student numbers up, [with the University] having a reputation as a fun place to be. “The key thing now is not to let it drop, so students can keep up a great campus culture all year. It’s all about building up a culture on campus where people participate in things,” he said. Students spoken to in passing by Nexus seemed to be enjoying the events on show, and the constant crowds in the Village Green and Banks area. “I just like how much more alive the campus seems to be,” said one.

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ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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Unleash your inner vegan for only $5 BY ANDREW NEAL

A new vegetarian restaurant offering fresh and wholesome food for five dollars a meal has opened downstairs in the Student Union building. The restaurant, named Gaura, (a name derived from ancient Sanskrit) was the brainchild of former Waikato science students Munie and Srutie, who have spent the previous six years running a similar vegetarian restaurant in Melbourne. Gaura features a different meal each day for the same unvarying price. The café runs under an eco-friendly ethos, with management encouraging diners to bring their own cutlery to cut down on waste. The café also features edible plates which, according to Munie, is “gnarly for the environment.” The proposal for the kitchen was only presented a couple of months ago and the two owners/managers were working on renovations up until the night before final health inspection.. There is no EFTPOS at the moment because “someone has cut through the phone line,” so cash is a must. The owners say EFTPOS will be in full use as soon as the line is repaired. The food served is all vegan, except for the deserts which contain butter. All food served is also brought fresh each day from a local supplier. Munie says that “many students don’t eat very well” and the opening of the premises is their chance to rectify that. The owners say none of the food contains any onion or garlic because “people believe that taking these two foods out of their diet allows people to connect more freely with their minds and meditate more easily.” Munie and Srutie say that while running their last restaurant, some students would travel up to two hours to eat at their establishment. “Now it is a mere two minute walk from class,” Munie said. www.nexusmag.co.nz

The WSU are keen for your feedback on the ASB Orientation ‘07 event and now’s your chance to give it to them in writing and also be in the draw to score five dozen Waikato Draught! Bring your completed questionnaire into the WSU office by midday Friday the 9th and be in to win (Drawn at 2 pm at the Village Green.) Name:

Phone:

Email:

What has been the highlight of the ASB Orientation 07 for you?

What has been the low point (if any) of the ASB Orientation 07 for you?

Have you felt a lift in the social culture on campus during the ASB Orientation 07? What do you think should be done for the next Orientation?

On a scale of 1-10, rate this O’week (10 being you can do no better) What do you want to see more of at Orientation (games, events, live performances, so-on)? What events/promotions would you like to see throughout this year at Waikato University?

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

News

Young Nats might yell at old Leftie BY JOSHUA DRUMMOND

Investigative journalist Nicky Hager is to visit Waikato University on Wednesday to speak about his new book, The Hollow Men. The meeting will be held at 1pm in the Bongo lounge space, on the ground floor of the Student Union Building. WSU President Sehai Orgad said the visit was another way students could get in touch with political debate on campus. “This is another way that we can encourage students to become politically

aware, and give them the opportunity to debate current issues with the New Zealand bestselling author,” she said. The Hollow Men reveals goings-on inside the National party in the 2005 elections, revealed through leaked emails to and from then-leader Don Brash. The book was temporarily held back from publication by an injunction, which was lifted when Brash announced his resignation as National Party Leader. Hager is known for courting controversy through his books. He was one of the first

George Bush and strippers left out in cold BY JOSHUA DRUMMOND

Graduate students are being called on to present research in the exciting field of environmental sustainability in the inaugural Interdisciplinary Graduate Student Workshop on Environmental Sustainability. The seminar, to be held on the 30th of March, is being organised by graduate students Kathryn Carter, Fiona McIntosh and Chris Pellowe, all of whom insist they are “passionate” about the environment and sustainability. “We’re looking for graduates with an interest in this area to contact us, hopefully to present at the event. Graduates who do not have a specific presentation, but are still interested in this event, are also encouraged to attend,” cajoled Pellowe. He quipped that there would also be several guest speakers, none of whom would be George Bush. Anyone who wants to present or just be in the audience can contact the organisers: either Kathryn (ksc6@waikato.ac.nz), Fiona (fjm11@waikato.ac.nz) or Chris (cjp23@waikato.ac.nz). Light food and drinks will be provided. Sadly, Pellowe did not comment on whether there might be strippers. 10

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

people to write about the secretive Echelon communications network in his book Secret Power. He hit the headlines again in 2002 when his book Seeds of Distrust made genetic engineering a key election issue, and led to Helen Clark calling presenter John Campbell a “little creep,” when he sprung information from the book on her. More recently, the Sunday Star Times was forced to retract and apologise for a story co-written by Hager which accused the Secret Intelligence Service of spying on prominent Māori and members of the Māori party.

Virtual Careers take students out of the Matrix

WHOA

Students in their final years of university study will soon have the opportunity to talk to future employers – online. The 2007 Virtual Careers Fair (VCF) will be the biggest event of its kind in Australasia with the participation of around 40 higher education institutions from across Australia and New Zealand. The event has grown enormously since it began in 2000, and last year received over 76,000 visits. Graduate Careers Australia’s Cindy Tilbrook, who is managing the VCF, hopes the fair will be even bigger this year. “This is an exciting event and we hope 2007 will see even more students use the site to find jobs and utilise valuable job-hunting resources. The Virtual Careers Fair is a first rate opportunity for students to talk to potential employers and get job search advice from the experts,” she said. The VCF will run from March 13-23 but users are able to register online early at www.vcf.graduatecareers.com.au. The VCF site will remain viewable in a passive state for a further 3 months so that students can access employer interview transcripts and other non-interactive resources. Anyone can register for the VCF, although the content of the fair is targeted at final or penultimate year university graduates. For more information, contact Cindy Tilbrook on +61-3-83449334 or email Cindy.Tilbrook@graduatecareers.com.au www.nexusmag.co.nz

Entries called for in the 20th Wellington Fringe Festival 2007 marks the 20th Anniversary of the Wellington Fringe Film Festival - a major event on the film calendar for emerging and established short filmmakers and the only forum of its kind in New Zealand. It has provided a stepping stone for the likes of Hamilton filmmaker Greg Page (The Locals) Robert Sarkies (Out of the Blue, Scarfies); and Glenn Standring (Perfect Creature; The Irrefutable Truth About Demons). “Playing my short films at the Fringe directly contributed to them being picked up for distribution by the New Zealand Film Commission, which put me on a radar that later allowed me to progress into features,” comments Sarkies. “I rate the Fringe as the most important festival for emerging film-makers in New Zealand. It may not hit the headlines but behind the scenes it has been a significant contributor to the development of our short films and filmmakers, myself included.” Adds Glenn Standring: “Personally I cannot say enough about how important the Fringe Film Festival is as a grass roots event. It is, classically, where most filmmakers in New Zealand show their first films. It was for me.” “The Fringe encourages filmmakers to stand up for our own work,” adds Greg

Page. “It’s a safe place to face constructive criticism and also acts as a very valuable networking resource.” The 20th Anniversary Fringe will be held at the Film Archive Mediaplex, Wellington from 11th–14th July 2007. It incorporates four events: the Short Film Festival, the Special Competition, Filmmaker Workshops, and the Kodak Music Clip Awards. The Short Film Festival comprises films of various genres - drama, animation and experimental projects no more than 15 minutes in duration and documentaries no more than 30 minutes’ duration. The event provides a supportive environment where filmmakers can not only screen their work, but also receive feedback from mentors and their peers through a question and answer period following each film. Consequently, filmmakers must attend their screenings. The deadline for the short film competition is 11th May. The Special Competition seeks out originality and innovation in films with a duration of no more than 3 minutes (including credits) containing a reference to the specified theme: this year it’s Junk Mail. Entries close 5th June 2007. All entry forms, further information, Rules & Regulations and a Beginner’s Guide to the Fringe can be found at www. fringefilmfest.co.nz.

News

International expert pins lakes as breeding sites for bird flu BY AINSLEY ALLEN

Just when you thought bird flu was a lot of scaremongering drummed up by the drug companies, it rears its ugly avian head again. International expert on pandemic influenza, Professor Inslik Eslkn’aa’n, of Finland, says that lakes – specifically the kind of lakes harboured by Hamilton and Waikato University - are where the next major bird flu pandemic, thought to be only weeks away, will spread from. Eslkn’aa’n, who is visiting Waikato University as part of a worldwide tour of potential flu-hosting sites, says the state of the Waikato’s lakes is “going to land all the people of this land in a flu-filled hell.” “The Waikato University and Hamilton (Lake Rotoroa) lakes are full of ducks, which along with chickens, are the primary agents for bird flu,” he told a press conference in his musical Scandinavian accent. “These foul lakes will be the death of hundreds of thousands of innocents and University students whose only crime was to feed the ducks, when the inevitable plague comes.” Biological containment is the best hope for Waikato, says Eslkn’aa’n. “We need to dredge the lakes of the foul sludge that harbours the virus, in duck faeces,” he said. “Then we need to use biological or nuclear means to contain and neutralise the virus.” The United States has offered to drop nuclear or biological weapons on the Waikato to prevent the spread of bird flu, but Prime Minister Helen Clark, noted for her stupidity, has asked them not to. “It would violate our anti-nuclear policy,” she said from a bunker deep under the Beehive. Meanwhile, the people of the Waikato – and the rest of New Zealand - nervously await their doom.

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News

Delicious Dogs Hamilton’s Dog Day Afternoon returns on 3 March for its fifth year to promote positive and responsible dog-ownership in Hamilton. This year’s theme is the Adopt a Dog programme that is run by Council’s Animal Care Centre. The dog adoption programme provides a mechanism to re-home suitable dogs with responsible dog owners. All adopters receive a complimentary 2kg bag of Nutro Food with every dog adopted. Dogs available for adoption can be viewed at the Animal Care Centre or on the Hamilton website at www.hamilton.co.nz/adoptadog . Animal Control and Parking Enforcement manager Janice Burns says there are many dogs that need a home and deserve a new start in life with a loving and responsible owner. “We have a vast array of breeds that come through the Animal Care centre so there is a dog to suit everyone. We also have several puppies come through the centre that have had a rough start but are extremely worthy of being given a chance to be somebody’s loyal companion.

Homeless students wait for ﬂying pigs An accommodation crisis among first year students at Victoria University has prompted calls for a student allowance increase. Victoria University of Wellington Deputy Vice Chancellor David McKay described the situation in relation to ﬁrst year student accommodation as a ‘crisis’ at the University Council meeting on Monday. Chancellor Tim Beaglehole also reported to the Council in the public session of the meeting that concerned parents are withdrawing their students from the University because they cannot afford a

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

place to live. “It’s no secret that high accommodation costs and housing shortages are shutting students out of university study” said Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association President Geoff Hayward. “Government must urgently and decisively address this crisis by increasing the level of allowances paid to students and introduce a universal living allowance, for all students.” The Government did not issue a statement saying they would introduce a universal allowance “when hell freezes over, pigs ﬂy and Jesus comes back.”

and once again The Six Pack will be published – an anthology of six new pieces of NZ writing which will be distributed, sold and promoted widely throughout New Zealand to celebrate the Month.

Green Party Press Secretaries deeply proliﬁc

More bitching and moaning about something that’s not going to happen

The Green Party is calling on Finance Minister Michael Cullen, and the six Kiwisaver default providers, to ensure that New Zealand workers who sign up to Kiwisaver are offered the choice of a socially and environmentally sustainable investment option. “Many New Zealanders signing up to the Kiwisaver scheme starting in July would like the opportunity to sign up to a superannuation scheme that invests in a socially responsible manner,” says Russel Norman, Green Party CoLeader and Economics’ Spokesperson. “It would be great if we had a Kiwisaver option that was creating a better world for our children, rather than investing in nuclear weapons, coal mines, child labour, toxic waste and the rest.” In other news, shares in ﬁrms specialising in toxic waste and child labour are riding high on the prospect of Kiwisaver investment.

Free money! This year NZ Book Month will take place from 2nd–30th September

Enter the Six Pack Competition to see your writing published and win $5,000! The deadline for submissions is: 07 March 2007. So get writing! Entry forms and criteria containing all the details are downloadable from www.nzbookmonth.co.nz

Otago Polytechnic students are pleased at the government’s drop in student debt interest rates from 6.9% to 6.8% for 2007-2008. The drop will mean some small relief for graduates than still do pay interest on their student debt. “While ‘interest free’ has improved things for many graduates the Government have failed to attack the real problem – debt itself.” said Otago Polytechnic Students’ Association (OPSA) President, Richard Mitchell. Less than 20 years ago tertiary education was free - and less than a decade ago Labour policy was still for universal allowances and lower fees. The ineligibility of the vast majority of students to allowances has not been largely addressed. Fees themselves have not lowered, but grown. “Three terms into a Labour lead government and students are still borrowing simply to eat, this is just not acceptable” said Mr Mitchell.

www.nexusmag.co.nz

News

Haiku News

BY DRUMMOND-SAN

Because you can only read so much mainstream media before your eyes start bleeding and your brain leaks out your ears.

Not guilty verdicts in police sex case Not guilty! Two defendants wail “Hooray, now we can Go back to jail!”

Online addict dies after ‘marathon’ session If you’re ever online gaming Try to remember To keep breathing.

New York City bans racial slur Hereby we ban this racist slur Don’t you ever, ever Say “nigger.”

Protesters could face charges over power station climb Greenpeace couldn’t hang their banner Climate change In works threw a spanner.

Court ends curfew for former TV host convicted of manufacturing methamphetamine If you want to be remembered As a host for TV Don’t make P

Trade and terrorism on table when Clark meets Bush Yo, shithead, we’re keeping our Nukes ban. Also, don’t dare Invade Iran.

www.nexusmag.co.nz

BY VITAMIN C

BY SPECIAL K

This is being written before O-week, and you’ll be reading it after O-week, so here’s our predictions. It’s like a horoscope, except I hate you. MONDAY Water party at the everywhere. You will all get wet, the areas on the stage will all look like $2 versions of a Snoop-Dogg video, the spa-pools will become a breeding ground for Chlamydia. Everyone will be slippery and you might get to touch some titty. TUESDAY Tonight the Outback will look like a Roman version of a Snoop-Dogg video. You might get to see some titty. The dancefloor will become a breeding ground for Syphilis. At the Back2School party at the Hut, a 15 year old will get in and have lots of sex and end up on the news/YouTube. WEDNESDAY Beerfest at the Hut. All you first years will go to this, and not the Outback because I’ll be at the Outback one on Thursday and it’s way better. THURSDAY Everyone will be blown away by how awesome OdESSA is. The CBD will become a breeding ground for bone-itis. The other stuff: White guys will shuffle, young girls will shame themselves, I’ll get a racecar. And AIDS.

It is O-week yet again, and it’s the fourth time around for us, and it’s the same every year, so from what we can remember of the last few we are able to predict what you dirty street people will do. On Monday Sekure will/better be open and will be good because that’s where the people who don’t want to hang around with 18-year olds looking to step up from giving hand-jobs to their high school boyfriends will go. There will be a bunch of fat guys in the foam and skanks everywhere else, surrounded by drunk guys who want to touch some titty. On Tuesday all the first-years will still be coma’d. And so will I. On Wednesday that girl who lives above you in Block 2 will come home at 4am and have really loud sex, bashing her headboard against the wall and whining like the worlds highest pitched vacuum cleaner. You know those ones without the bags? Yeah, those. Stake out her room, and you might get to see some titty. On Thursday you’ll probably see vitaminC at Beerfest in the Outback in a Motorhead shirt singing and jumping and drinking with a paper pirate hat made from the lyrics sheet. He will be soaked in beer and his limbs will seize up, and then he’ll start attacking people in a relentless search for a cure for bone-itis.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

LETTUCE Letter of the week Tarantulas don’t have venom Hey Nexus. Your news article on the Venom bar which is actually not a metal bar but a gay bar was really out of line. I think it is a real sick joke to be sending bogans to a gar bar, it is not good for bogans and some real bad stuff could happen. My boyfriend is in Tarantula, yes THE BAND Tarantula and bogans are theyre main crowd of fans so affecting them like that would have bad consequences that could be negative or even worse. So whoever does your news should get there story right and should loose theyre job. Sharon Ed says: I’m not taking responsibility for anything that happened last week but I would like to say that Rocky from Askew spent the weekend living it up at Venom and he will have a proper, non-satirical review about Hamilton’s bestest gay bar for you next week. It’s deeply unfortunate that the bogans have a tendency to get confused about certain issues, especially those surrounding sexuality, but I’m afraid there’s very little I can do about that. Hopefully the voucher from Campus Kiosk makes things a little better for you. Kisses!!

Get it to nexus@waikato.ac.nz by 5pm and Tues for the final issue – our study week special. Letter of the week wins a $5 voucher from Campus Kiosk (up at the Cowshed) Alternatively, sign up to www.nexusmag.co.nz/forum and post your letters, notices, events, discuss various student topics and issues and just shoot the shit.

Religion and anal sex Hurro I’ve been reading the Nexus for a year now and I’ve watched the comic strips have its ups and downs but last weeks one was just incredible. I can appreciate the humour in that the Religious man tries to passively convert the Dope smokers and they end up force converting him, great irony. I loved how the broken beer bottle used to threaten the Religious man symbolises the religious intolerance/ ignorance the world has, that was pure genius. “To bad the church gives [Jesus] a bad name.” I can’t argue there. However, there were a few fallacies created in ignorance that annoy me. I’m assuming the Religious man represented Christianity. Firstly, “word of Jesus” is supposed to be “word of God”, Jesus only features in 5 of the 66 books of the Bible even though the other books may deal with the prophecy of his coming or reflecting on his life. “Making dope illegal is like saying God made a mistake.” Bill Hicks was an atheist comedian and displays his own ignorance of Christianity through his jokes. God didn’t make a mistake; the Fall (the curse that came upon the Earth when Adam sinned) caused the beginning of many problems with the world. The Fall allowed us to have a choice, (the choice to kill and eat a baby, smoke dope, etc) but that doesn’t mean we should do that.”A violent man entices his neighbour and leads him down a path that is not good.” Proverbs 16:29 NIV Craig

Some guy Lettuce Policy Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page – serious or otherwise. Letters should be no more than 250 words and received by 5pm on the Tuesday before publication. All letters will generally be printed so give it a bash, but the editor retains the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Bad spelling and grammar will not be corrected. Pseudonyms are acceptable but all letters must include your real name and contact details even if you don’t want them printed (and they won’t be printed!). We discourage the use of pseudonyms for serious letters.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Dear Ed OWeek? never mind OWeek, if you are continuing your studious endeavors next year, get along to the Soundsplash Eco Reggae Festival to get all the partying out of your system. Partying jah style that is. The biggest ups I heard was, “all these bands are outstanding, this is a varitable smorgasboard!” I was fortunate in having the honour of asking the punters for a few moments of their time, and quizzing them for some feedback, market research styles. Katchafire, Ladi 6, Blue King Brown,

Cornerstone Roots, Dub Syndicate, Kora, Shapeshifter. Hows that for a line up? That was Saturday night from about 5:45pm through to the early morning. Now that was after a Friday night that consisted of Whirimako Black, The Dynamic Thrills, The Midnights, Batucada Sound Machine, House of Shem and The Black Seeds. Those are the joys the Mainstage had to share. A couple of the acts had to get straight off stage and head to Wellington for the Cuba Street Carnival. The Midnights were down to Welly and then heading back to check out Dub Syndicate. They played the heavyweight room and there was some super phat bass so the heavyweight would equate to alleviate any concerns, eco or otherwise. The feeling was one of whanau, Saturday morning was filled with smiling and greeting, not much in the way of music going on, til about midday. The Eco-angle is great. All the bins were labelled for landfill, biodegradable, or recycling (something the university could learn a bit about), and the opportunity to share ideas and knowledge was always a part of the eco-scene. To sum up, the perfect gig, with perfect weather, in one of the most perfect locations, just a shame it only happens once a year. But hey, the weekend did rite monday off totally. So perhaps just as well it is only once per year. Peace out, (abridged) Tullerman

Some guy Dear Nexus Are you guys gonna try to get sued this year? Because nexus always used to be sued and that was when it was the best. I remember the time it got sued for printing a nude pic of wsu president (and he wasn’t pretty) and it also got sued for saying that a lecturer was spawn of satan. This was the best! Now when you aren’t being sued you’re mostly just being boring and not hurting anyones feelings but if you don’t start hurting some feelings then you’re not gonna have excitement. Bring back the sue! Yours cheerfully, Charlie Buchanan

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Feature

Monday 26th February Just to ease students gently into the swing of things, Monday offered nudity, beer, music, and drunken blowjobs (on dubious Warehouse boats). The O’week volunteer team failed miserably in the latter challenge due to either inebriation or faulty equipment, but put in a good effort. One lucky man went through to the ZM Big Man on Campus final, Carl Watkins sung to a chilled out afternoon crowd, and the Don’s Beach party had everything from floaty armbands to bikinis. And that was just Day One.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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Feature

Tuesday 27th February

You’ve gotta love eating competitions. The gagging, the cramming, the fevered enthusiasm, the occasional hasty rush to the rubbish bin. In true student style, the Hell Of A Pizza Eating Competition challenged stomachs but went by mainly without tears. Some students obviously saw it as a handy free lunch, judging by their relaxed techniques. One lucky guy scored a year’s worth of Hell pizza – wonder if he’ll be going for Gluttony or Greed? Later, Gish warmed up a small crowd for the evening’s comedy gala with his adaptations of popular musical numbers. The ZM Big Man comp gathered another finalist and traumatised

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more viewers. Comedy night at the Don’s was packed out by the time Nexus arrived, and it proved hard to find a seat. Those sitting in the front might have been regretting their decision by the time they’d been utilised for spit-roast poses (clothed), nose-drilling (electric, dangerous) and general mocking banter (ranging from gentle to fairly harsh). Forthright MC Jan Maree warmed up the crowd with colourful sexual similes and occasionally her own breasts. Sam Wills’ comedy specialty was essentially submitting himself to pain in very accomplished, wince-inducing ways. An early effort involved a slimy string going into his nose, out the mouth and into the hands of

brave volunteers. Axes and hedge clippers appeared later. The crowd was even treated to the rare site of a baby doll spinning a ball on its penis. Singer/songwriter Gish then offered more of his ‘Maori bro Weird Al’ act, rewriting the lyrics of various hits to involve car stealing and ball-breaking pole vault acts. Dai Henwood of C4’s ‘Insert Video Here’ busted out his breezy storytelling comedy, much to the appreciation of the crowd, and finished with a poignant dance interpretation rendition of ‘Time after time’. Afterwards he and a camera crew hit up wannabe stars for ‘Insert Video’. The evening wrapped up with a sculling contest for the comedians. A hilarious time was had by all. ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Feature

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Feature

Wednesday 28th February

See this?

Wednesday brought more competitions and O’week hijinks. Pulp Sport’s Bill and Ben flipped a coin to determine who got to be waxed for charity. Ben was the lucky victim, and much grimacing and groaning ensued as he got balder (in various areas) for charity. Hopefully the Special Children’s Christmas Party appreciates it. The Wai Taiko drummers banged up a storm and the game ZM Undy 500 participants gathered for a riotous sprint. The Nexus team was painted up for the occasion and went very well, with now ex-editor Dawn leading the ladies home. The speedy Aaron Tozer took out the overall competition and won a keg. Competition was heavy, with one competitor bleeding from the mouth after the rough starting scramble, and cheating was rife, but the free beer at the end quelled any complaints.

Reviews and pics of Late 80s Mercedes coming sometime in the near future, so look out for that. The all-ages party at the SUB building has been postponed until the 22nd of March.

www.nexusmag.co.nz

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Feature

Thursday 1st March First up on Thursday was the Burger Fuel body painting competition. The odd selection system saw some competitors disappointed but overall some interesting creations were produced, with PipSix and Sandra’s Super Burger Girl taking top honours. Spacifix went off. Predictably, the Student Olympics produced passion, chaos and a good number of teams. Most of last year’s champion team, the Wakatoombas, have either crossed the ditch to pursue league careers or were heading to the national athletics champs, thus leaving room for

the determined Student Life team to sweep through tough competition and win the $500 prize for 2007. Check out next week’s Nexus for news, reviews and pics of the second half of O’week.

Additional Photography by Aaron Ku

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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Feature

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FEATURE

The Nexus Guide to

HEN YOU’RE A STUDENT,

there are lots of people who want to take advantage of your willingness to spend money you don’t actually have. This is an expensive time of year, so we’ve taken a quick look at some of the basic ways you can save a little bit of cash on the essentials (books, beer and beer fridges).

Price comparisons on textbooks So where should you buy your textbooks from? Bennett’s is so close and convenient, is really worth that massive hike across the road to Volume One? Well, in most cases, it would seem that it is. You might even be able to afford several beers with the money you’ve saved. Especially if they’re free beers given to you by the WSU during O Week. Although it is worth remembering that Bennett’s will give you a 10% discount off the marked price when you present your student I.D, and they also offer a lowest cost guarantee – if you take them proof of Volume One’s cheaper price they’ll beat it. Now, the only question is can you bothered marching all over Hillcrest in order to save a few bucks?

Text

Bennett’s

Volume 1

Accounting Accounting at Work (Lawrence & Davey)

$86.40

$75.00

$112

$111

$90.70

$107

Human Development Human Development & Lifespan Development (Santrock & Drewery) Psychology Psych: Themes & Variations (Weiten)

*Volume 1 provides the Writing for Psychology guide for the extra cost – an excellent resource for all psych students)

Screen & Media Producing Videos: a complete guide

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

$57.59

$45 (new) $39.50 (2nd hand)

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FEATURE

Price comparisons on appliance rentals Budget Appliances Budget Appliances specialise in student deals, and packages of two or more appliances. They were hesitant to give concrete prices on oneoff items, because they like to cater to people individually and make up packages to suit. But the following gives a rough guide of what’s available, with prices changing with the relative size and condition of the appliance, plus the package chosen. Prices given are approximate, weekly and most likely apply to pre-loved appliances. Washing machine Dryer Microwave Fridge

$7 – 8.50 from $3.75 if package deal, or $7-7.50 $5 $7.50 – 9.50

Depends whether students want freezer

More info on Budget Appliances: • They provide individually tailored packages of whatever appliances you want • The usual deal is 3rd appliance for half price, or your 4th free (if you got a washing machine, dryer, microwave and fridge/ freezer, the cheapest would be free) • Both pre-loved and new appliances are available, with the former being cheaper • Flexible time frames start from 3 months for pre-loved appliance and 6 months for www.nexusmag.co.nz

new. • Hamilton students get the bond waived • Free delivery, installation, repair and moving (if you move ﬂats). • Free option to purchase or upgrade • Finally, they claim to beat any other appliance deal, whatever the price or package.

a 3rd half price; or rent 3, and get one more free. • Students get the usual bond waived • Servicing, maintenance and delivery is free • Appliances are new or nearly new

All up, Budget seem a pretty sweet option. The fact that they’ll beat any other deal around has to be good for your pocket, and they apparently also ‘look after’ long term customers well.

Mr Rentals have some nice student deals with packages and the uni-only ‘two weeks free’ option. Budget is probably ahead on price (or below, depending on how you look at it) but give both outﬁts a ring with your wishlist handy and see what each can offer.

Mr Rentals

Purchasing Appliances

Mr Rentals have similar package discounts to Budget, and also said to talk to them about prices/deals to suit you. They prefer not to do secondhand appliances, specialising in new or nearly new. Here is an approximate guide to their weekly prices.

If you’d prefer just to get the appliance straight off, check out Loot or Trademe for secondhand goods. As usual, caveat emptor applies as there’s some dodgy machinery out there. At least with the rental options all maintenance is free, so decide what suits you best.

Washing machine Fridge Microwave Dryer

from $8 from $9 from $6 from $6

Info on Mr Rentals • University of Waikato students get the ﬁrst two weeks free and free delivery • Students can rent 2 appliances and get ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

FEATURE

Bank account packages for tertiary students How do they stack up against each other? Campus Pack – BNZ

Westpac Student Pac

• Eftpos card doubles as a student discount card – save 10-50% on stationery, internet, clothes, textbooks, videos, pizza, burgers, coffee, beer, etc.

• No monthly account fee, free Eftpos and ATM transactions

• No monthly base fee or account fees on electronic transactions

• No set up fees for APs and direct debits

• Interest-free overdraft up to $2000

• Access to car and renter’s insurance

• Interest-free overdraft up to $2000 and/or a credit card (not interest free!)

• Open an account by 31 March and go in draw to win cash up to $200 We reckon: the student discount card is an appealing feature, if you remember to use it for that. Otherwise, this is a reasonably standard tertiary account.

ANZ Student Package

Kiwibank Tertiary Pack

• No account or transaction fees

• No account or transaction fees on ALL your accounts

• Free withdrawals

• Interest free overdraft up to $2000 – no set up fees, just pay a monthly $2 maintenance fee

• Overdraft up to $2000 • Low interest loan available • Standard credit cards • Free b-card • Free design-your-own Eftpos card

We reckon: It’s cool that you can design your own Eftpos card. But why do Waikato students get a b-card when b-cards are only usable for people who live in Auckland and listen to BFM? Not a terrible package but a little bit insulting to be lumped in with the Aucklanders, surely?

We reckon: this is pretty much a bare minimum account. Westpac try to talk it up by saying you’ll have access to insurances and online banking, but you’ll have that with all the other banks as well. Pretty unimpressive

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

• Low interest rate Mastercard (12.90% P.A) with a $500 limit and annual fee waived in first year • A ‘Flat Account’ with no account or transaction fees for you and one other flatmate to access • Free use of all banks’ ATMS on all university campuses We reckon: this account is well thought out and has some interesting features. Particularly notable is the no account fees on all your accounts, as opposed to just the tertiary account, the flat account and free use of all banks ATMs on campus. Kiwibank seem to have really considered what students require from their banking. The low interest Mastercard is a nice feature as well. Well done Jim Anderton

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FEATURE

National Bank Tertiary Plus • No transaction or AP fees • Access to the Thoroughbred Goal Saver account • Interest free overdraft up to $2000 • $5000 personal loan • No annual account fee on standard credit card • Access to affordable contents insurance • Free MP3 player or backpack if you’re new to the bank We reckon: in spite of their aggressive advertising campaign featuring that beautiful green couch, nothing stands out here. Access to savings account might be some incentive to not drink all your money though.

ASB Tertiary Package • No transaction fees • $2000 interest free overdraft available in second year of study (as opposed to third)

Price comparisons on alcohol We did the rounds of several local supermarkets and liquor stores to find out how little it’ll cost you to pick up that essential essence of student-ness, cheap booze. Our un-scientific findings told us what you probably already know – often, supermarkets sell beer and wine more cheaply than you’ll find it at liquor stores. But you can’t get spirits and RTDs at supermarkets, so if you want to get slammed on ultra-cheap vodka or hellspawned RTD’s you’ll need to visit a liquor store.

• No account fees on standard credit card • Low interest on personal loan • You can set up your account for the length of your course, so you don’t have to reapply each year • $40 account credit We reckon: While this isn’t a super spectacular package, it’s deﬁnitely handy that you don’t have to reapply every year.

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At the time of writing, there were still quite a few O Week specials ﬂoating around, but these were disappearing quickly. It’s difﬁcult to do accurate comparisons betweens stores because the prices change from week to week. Your best bet, it seems, is to shop around to be sure of getting the cheapest plonk possible.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

FEATURE

F YOU’RE IN YOUR LATE TEENS OR

early twenties and you live in New Zealand, chances are you’re not having to watch your friends get their limbs blown off in a warzone. That’s right, you just spent the last week drinking your courserelated costs. But American kids are caught up in an increasingly mindless war which belongs more to oil companies and billionaire republicans than it does to them. This reflection has come to Nexus via a Waikato student whose friend, 23 year old Chris Feng, signed up for reserve forces and ended up being sent in to active duty in Iraq. 26

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

‘I was watching Black Hawk Down on DVD the other day and passed out and had this weird... nightmare. Except the sights seemed more familiar than the movie did. I remember sitting about a few hundred feet in my dream in the air aboard the Jessie Drake (Aircraft 6), behind the .50 calibre doorgun. It was all too familiar, the sand coloured rooftops and horizon, the taste of dust in my mouth, and all I could hear was rotor wash and explosions in the distance. A few small arms ricochet off the hull once in a while. Then came the thud. At ﬁrst I thought “holy shit, I’m in trouble”. Nah, the aircraft just touched down at our LZ and the ramp opened. I was knee deep in Fallujah. Then came the screams. The painful fucking screams. The screams of wounded soldiers, Iraqis, whoever we could ﬁt into our airborne ambulance. Doc Schmitty was

screaming at me. I recognized Doc Schmidt, he had his M4 carbine rifle drawn out and was shooting in to the distance while dragging a wounded man into the hull. I found myself outside the bird with my M9 pistol in my hand, watching the waves of troops being escorted on board, blood everywhere and the smell of iron and gunpowder in the air all too familiar. Justin was still inside, seating the wounded and trying to rip open a junction box that was wrecked by small arms fire. A Marine grunts looked at me and said “you gotta save him bro. You gotta save him!” It was Mike, one of my buddies I went to high school with. “I’ll try”, I tell him. I always do. Then they ran back towards their vehicles and continued to fire at unseen enemies. I heard another scream, it was different from the others though because it came www.nexusmag.co.nz

straight from my headset. I heard machinegun fire from the distance and all I remember doing is pointing my M9 at the direction it came from and squeezing round after round until I emptied my magazine, with my teeth clenched and my eyes screaming confusion. PacMan, the copilot, was hit by small arms through the

mother. A South Korean Marine was trying to revive his fellow ROK Marine buddy, the conscious one with a bandage covering half his head. Doc is frantically trying to help out the patients, his eyes burn with determination but there’s something else as well - pain. Not just mental pain, it was physical. He was shot

My best friend Mike died too. I recognized the wounded and casualties on board as the ones that never made it back, the ones that died mid-flight whom we tried desperately to save. I remember every last one of them - the Marines, soldiers, the Iraqis, the Korean guys, all of them. I remember it all. All too well. Mike just kind of appears out of nowhere from behind me, “Get outta here man, we’ll be fine,” he says. Wasn’t he supposed to be on the ground fighting the insurgents? “You got a whole life ahead of you, don’t worry about us, we got your back. Just forget about us. You have to move on. Don’t ever come back to Iraq again.” I’ll try. I always do. I wake up in cold sweat, my sheets drenched in my own perspiration, its my own bedroom again. It was just a dream. A recurring dream all too familiar in different variations, same theme. Most people don’t know, but a few months ago when 3rd MAW went back out to Iraq, I volunteered to go back with my old unit that I served with in OIF. My request was denied though, which might have been a good thing after all. I told my warrant officer why I wanted to go back out, I wanted to be with my old war buddies again.

PacMan, the copilot, was hit by small arms through the canopy. Still, I had no visual contact of bogeys whatsoever. Doc is screaming at me to get the fuck back on board, we’re hauling ass out of dodge. canopy. Still, I had no visual contact of bogeys whatsoever. Doc is screaming at me to get the fuck back on board, we’re hauling ass out of dodge. Pacman’s going critical and Visine is the only pilot left to fly the casualties back. Tie his leg down, tourniquet his arm, give me an IV, get this freakin line to stop pissing hyd fluid on my patient, CPR this guy quick.... that’s just a few of the things I remember Doc screaming at me. Justin is sitting by the port side with a .50cal gun - you can tell he wants to help out but his job is to man that gun. Our lives are depending on it. One of the wounded, an Iraqi soldier, looked like he’s praying in a language I can’t decipher. His arm was missing and he stared blankly in my direction. Another guy had a nasty gut wound and was screaming for his

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bringing a wounded on board and there he is trying to hold back and care for the wounded instead. Doc turned around and asked me why the hell did I come back to Fallujah? Huh? Come back? What do you mean “come back”? “Chris,” Doc says. “We tried so hard to get you and the other guys the fuck out of Iraq, there’s no reason for you to be back here.” Yeah, says Justin, Visine, a barely conscious Pacman, and some of the wounded. “We died out in Fallujah, remember? You saw us.” Yeah, I remember. Doc died from his wounds days later from wounds received from a mission, I was with him at the time. Pacman never made it back, he died on that flight back... I was there. Visine died in a helicopter crash along with Justin.

Fuck politics, fuck what the American people say, I want to do because I want to watch my buddies’ backs. But he knows my history and he says its best that I sit this one out. He praised me for my enthusiasm, the only time I ever showed enthusiasm in this Marine Corps, but the final answer from above was still “no”. I was pissed off at my Marine Corps, but I always wondered if maybe this answer from above was really from Mike, Doc, Pacman, Justin, Visine, and the other guardian angels that told me “we got your back”.’ Maybe it really is time to move on. I keep telling myself its time to move on, but I think a part of me is still out in the Sandbox. The same part of me that died along with the others.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Keeping you informed about your union www.wsu.org.nz

WSU PRESIDENT

VICE-PRESIDENT

Sehai Orgad

Moira Neho

Seriously proud to be at Waikato

After an awesome O’Week with all those competitions, games, parties and not to mention all that drinking some of you indulged in, many of you will be in need of some good food. Well I have just the answer for you - Gaura Good Food has just opened in the Student Union Building. It’s a great little eatery that serves hot vegetarian food for the bargain price of $5 a plate! Now before all you carnivores start running screaming in the other direction, come down and check them out. Personally I love steak but this food is seriously good so I don’t mind that there isn’t any meat in it. The meal changes each day and you can always guarantee that it’s going to be hot and ﬁlling. The other exciting thing about “Gaura Good Food” is that their plates are made out of potato! What does that mean? It means that the plate is 100% biodegradable and good for the environment! Is that a challenge for the other food establishments on campus? I think so! Considering I’m Irish and I love potatoes, I had to ask the question… does it mean we can eat the plate? Guess what? You can! So I tried it and it tastes yuck. No one said saving the environment would be tasty. Anyway, the message of the day is “Gaura Good Food” give it a go whanau. Before I sign off I just want to do my duty as VP and get you thinking about the upcoming by-election. We need a GLBT exec and an International student exec so if you think you can represent either of these groups come up and have a chat because we need you! Take care whanau, be safe and have fun!

Aside from the fabulous OWeek festivities and the amazing experiences that we have had at this University so far, there seems to be a steady stream of information coming through about great people doing wonderful things at the University of Waikato. Just recently, Professor Russell Bishop from the School of Education, has made headlines due to his research on “Te Kotahitanga: the experiences of Year 9 and Year 10 Students in mainstream classrooms” which highlight the issue that more than half of Maori school boys who left school in 2005 had not received any qualiﬁcations. In addition to the study, Professor Bishop has also developed a programme which focuses on “personalising teachers’ relationships with Maori students” – focusing on year 9 and 10 level. Meaning that teachers will be using more mentoring methods which gauge the student’s interests in an informal manner and motivating success. The programme has already been implemented in Te Awamutu College and results indicate that Maori are not the only students to beneﬁt from this style of teaching, and that overall, the students in year 11 who got NCEA level 1 rose from 48% to 79%. Professor Bishop’s work is an element of Waikato that we should all be proud of. It demonstrates how we, as academics and as students can give back to our community and the society in which we live. I hope that during your study here, you are not only able to learn from your course material and lectures, but also learn from the people around you and the social experiences that you encounter.

Student events coming up... Māori Student Hui WEDNESDAY 7TH MARCH

All Māori students are invited to attend a hui to discuss the establishment of a campus-wide Māori roopu. At 1 PM over at the A Block Atea.

Author Nicky Hager visits Campus WEDNESDAY 7TH MARCH

Nicky Hager, the author of The Hollow Men – the dude who contributed to the political demise of Don Brash – will be here on campus on Wednesday 7th March to talk about the scandals that he uncovered. Nicky will be speaking down at the Bongo in the Students’ Union building where you can also grab a mean feed from the new vegetarian café, kick back and have an open discussion about your thoughts on the matter. For further enquiries email Sehai at president@wsu.org.nz

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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Competition Results Best Banner Competition Winner: Waikato University Fiji Students Assn (43 votes)

Runners up Note: Runners up get kudos (mmm, kudos) but no prizes Waikato Engineering Students Assn (34) Waikato University Pagan Society (32)

Best Site Winner: Waikato Engineering Students Assn (34 votes)

Runners up Waikato University Fiji Students Assn (43) Waikato University Soccer Club (Unicol) (17)

Runners up Waikato University Fiji Students Assn (41) Unity Dance Collective (40)

Thanks to the sponsors Bennetts, Rialto, Uni Rec Centre, Subway Grey Street, Liquorland â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Hamilton East and The Cook.

Spot Prize winners Can these students come to the WSU reception to pick up their prize? Suafaia Suifua Ana Vaise Annie Nikolao Peter Stowers Katie Clake Lisa Nelson Richard Blayney Daniel West

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Elizabeth Williams Brooke Thomas Caleb Jordan Wang Hui Ryan Wall Fane Raoma Michelle Tukuafu Poonam Kumar Jessica Ritchie Ebony Wikaira Shaneel Kumar Laura MacKey Sujeetha Prakash Shefali Kataria

Bart Traslouski Hilary Lata Enid Devon Erin Bennett Shah Ali Joyce Cruz Mark Fransen Renat Muller Andrew Kay Jessica Matthews May Kura Michelle Tukuafu Jessie Hutenings Amanda Lovry ISSUE 1 Âˇ 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

MATURE STUDENTS’ OFFICER

Vincent Malcolm-Buchanan We are here to help

Phone: Fax: Email:

07 856 9139 07 856 3161 wsu@wsu.org.nz

Our ofﬁce hours are 8.30 AM - 4.30 PM, Monday to Friday. Postal Address: Waikato Student’s Union Private Bag 3059 Hamilton

WWW.WSU.ORG.NZ

mature@wsu.org.nz

Timetables

On a slightly more academic note! I am amused by those many students asking about their timetables. One would hope that by this point everyone has ﬁgured out their timetable and that you’re now becoming proﬁcient in locating lectures, tutorials, labs and so forth. If not, the campus electronic timetable system is available to assist you. Simply proceed to the Waikato University Home Page (/www. waikato.ac.nz) – go to Students – then to Class Timetable (under Useful Links for Students - Academic Information). At this site you’ll be given several options by which to access the necessary data you require Tip: Make sure you know all your Paper Codes or Course Names in order to expedite the process.

Car Parking ADVICE BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE

CITIZENS ADVICE BUREAU

He keeps on coming! Lionel’s landlord keeps on appearing at odd times to inspect the ﬂat. At the same time he is very slow at doing repairs. Is this fair? The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge data base to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 11am – 2pm daily during semesters or phone 838 4466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. By the way a landlord can only enter a ﬂat after giving 48 hours notice and no more often than 4 weekly. If the landlord is slow on necessary repairs, talk to the Tenancy Tribunal (ph 0800 836262). 30

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It never ceases to amaze me how the University Car Park ‘ﬁasco’ repeatedly unfolds in such a haphazard ‘free-for-all’ manner during the ﬁrst weeks of A Semester. After speaking with Tom, one of our competent security patrol persons, I have resolved to make a plea in this week’s submission. Please, if you are able to commute by means of car-pooling (you can save money on petrol!) then by all means do so. Waikato University has the Ridelink Car Pool System which allows vehicles containing 2 or more

passengers’ exclusive utilisation of these car park spaces! All you need to do is obtain a FREE Ridelink Pass from Campus Security. Alternatively, Tom has mentioned that there are students he speaks with who drive to campus regardless of the fact that they live within reasonable walking distance! To all such students I can only ask that you consider the healthier alternative of a brisk 5min walk onto campus. Who knows, you could get to meet other like-minded individuals – maybe even ﬁnd your long sought after ‘soul-partner’… Tip: Only those outside the designated area can utilise this service and only use Ridewell Parks when accompanied! You might otherwise return to ﬁnd your vehicle clamped!

Your Campus Lastly, from this week onwards you’ll be realising a more sedate pace on campus, given that the festivities of O’Week are over. Take some time out to familiarise yourself with your campus! Check out the libraries (yes, there is more then one!), the Gymnasium, the ‘ponds’ (which are quite conducive to outdoor lunches), the WEL Energy Trust - Academy of Performing Arts Complex, oh, and the rabbits! Let’s not forget the rabbits, there are heaps of them and they peaceably conduct themselves throughout the grassed areas on campus. Tip: Leave the rabbits alone! They’re well cared for and don’t harm students.

WOMEN’S RIGHTS OFFICER

Ana Moriarty

womens@waikato.ac.nz Kia Ora! Talofa! Bonjour! G’day! Namaste! (and any other greetings I’ve forgotten) - Also apologies for missing out on Nexus’ ﬁrst issue! Firstly I would like to extend a warm welcome (and welcome back) to all of our students. As Women’s Issues Ofﬁcer I am here to ensure that women have the opportunity to have a voice on the WSU Executive. My email address is womens@waikato.ac.nz - I get heaps of spam so it might pay to write something I want to read in the subject line! As a rule I tend to delete emails that try to sell me computer software at really low prices or offer me viagra! I look forward to hearing from you!

www.nexusmag.co.nz

Various WSU people enjoying the ASB Orientation ‘07

FREE $1000 Accidental Insurance for ALL WSU Members! The Waikato Students’ Union is pleased to announce a special benefit for all members in 2007. Now members of our Students’ Union will be covered by a $1000 Accidental Death Benefit. This benefit is free to members and provided at No Obligation in association with AIL of New Zealand. To receive the FREE cover, please fill in a yellow post card at the WSU reception or you can apply online at www.ailnz.co.nz Members can also take out an additional $5000 Accident Death Benefit for just $1 for the first year. This extra benefit is guaranteed renewable every year thereafter for just $2.50. An AIL representative will then contact you to make an appointment to deliver your Certificate and discuss other AIL benefits available. If you have any questions please contact WSU or AIL of New Zealand directly, freephone 0800 127 887.

www.nexusmag.co.nz

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Some ZM Big Man on Campus Highlights and Lowlights

The Tui De Toki Competition Winners These are the winners of the Tui competition. Look how choice they look on their bikes! Bike-riding forever! If you are in one of these pictures and haven’t yet come up to Nexus to collect your box of Tui, then hurry up and do it. 32

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

www.nexusmag.co.nz

NOTICES

Send your student notices to nexus@waikato.ac.nz by 12pm Tuesday before the next issue, or submit via www.nexusmag.co.nz Free for students, $$ for others.

ACCOMODATION Flatmate wanted: Easygoing, mature, reasonably tidy wanted to share one professional, one third year and one puppy. $90 per week plus expenses. Five minute walk to uni, across the street to the bus, shops on the corner. Phone/txt – 027 432 4370. Flatmate wanted $100 p/w + expenses: Hey we’re looking for a female student in final years of study (20-25) Particularly nice house, huge sunny backyard on a very safe street, walking distance to uni. Big room, off street parking, furnished inc dishwasher, dryer, gas heating and broadband.To live with females studying 4th year law. Not a party house or grungy student flat, and would like to keep it that way! Text 021781799 anytime (if you’re normal).

FOR SALE Suki Futon, 192 x 90 cm, metal frame, red mattress, purchased in Freedom Furniture. As new. $300 (original price $660) contact toledano@waikato.ac.nz

PUBLIC NOTICES Nicky Hager will discuss his latest book, The Hollow Men, at the Methodist Church Centre in London Street, 7.30pm on Tuesday 6 March. Nicky Hager is a long-time activist and campaigner on military, nuclear, environmental and political issues in NZ and abroad. He holds degrees in physics and philosophy. Red Cross is the largest impartial humanitarian organisation in the world, it’s

non-political, and non-religious. Red Cross works to protect human life, health, and dignity. And now we have a group right here on Campus. Want to learn more about Red Cross? Join us in J.B.07 at 1pm this Wednesday! New Zealand Institute of International Affairs: Waikato Branch Professor Dov Friedlander from the Department of Population Studies at Hebrew University, Jerusalem, will be speaking on the topic of “Assimilation and Integration among Ethnic and Religious Groups in Israel” in room J.1.10 at the University of Waikato (note room change) on Wednesday 7 March at 6pm. Refreshments will be available beforehand in J.2.12 from 5.30pm. Whaingaroa (Raglan) Catchment Information Day, and Maui Dolphin Day 10th March 2007 (Seaweek) at the playground on the other side of the footbridge at Raglan Harbour. The purpose of the Information Day is for different organisations that are involved with the Whaingaroa Catchment to come together and feedback research and monitoring information to the wider community. It should be an excellent opportunity to share ideas, both with the community and between the organizations themselves, and to discuss views for the future of Whaingaroa. This event also includes the Recycled Raft Race organised by Xtreme waste. We are still in the planning stages, and more details will follow in due course. Lindsey from Xtreme Waste is co-ordinating the Dolphin Day/Raft Race part of the event, she can be contacted at lindseyandy@ihug.co.nz.

SEND NEXUS YOUR ART And you could score yourself a $50 Gordon Harris gift voucher! More details at www.nexusmag.co.nz/coverart www.nexusmag.co.nz

Basics of

Islam

In the name of God The Most Merciful The Most Beneficent “Say: He is God, the One and Only; God, the Eternal, Absolute; He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; And there is none like unto Him.” Quran 112:1-4 Islam refers to the “total surrender of one’s self to God” and a Muslim is “one who submits”. Muslims believe that God revealed His final message to humanity through Muhammad (PBUH) via angel Gabriel. The revelations, Muhammad (PBUH) preached are from The Sacred Qur’an. The Qur’an is believed as the flawless, unchanged, final revelation of God to humanity, valid until the day of the Resurrection. The Qur’an was revealed to Muhammad on numerous occasions throughout his prophethood of 23 years. To become a Muslim, one testifies from the tongue and accepts from the heart, “I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God.” In Islam, faith and good works go hand-in-hand. Muslims consider everything they do in life to be an act of worship, if it is done according to God’s guidance. Salat (formal prayers) are also offered five times a day in a mosque or any clean place. The university has provided prayer rooms in L Block besides L1. In Hamilton, the main mosque is located at 921 Heaphy Terrace. “O you who believe, you shall bow, prostrate, worship your Lord, and work righteousness, that you may succeed.” Quran 22:77 Waikato University Muslim Club waikatomc@gmail.com

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Columns

The Magic 8 Ball

MeEt Nexus’ new relationships counsellor Dear Agony Art I’ve just found out that my boyfriend has two other girlfriends. The other two know about each other and don’t seem to mind. Is there something wrong with me for caring? I don’t want to get Chlamydia.

This week we ask the Magic 8 Ball about the mysteries surrounding Anna Nicole Smith’s life, death and general sluttiness. Nexus takes no responsibility for Magic 8 Ball’s lies.

Concerned Taurean Hamilton East

Was Anna Nicole really attracted to that old man that she married? It is certain. The shrivelled old man was a deeply attractive hunk of man love and an excellent tap dancer to boot. How could she not want his body?

Dear Concerned Taurean Firstly, don’t bag on Chlamydia. It’s the gold medal in the Sexy Olympics. If you can get Chlamydia, then you’re practically a celebrity. It’s even a sexy sounding word. Say it a few times. Chlamydia. It’s pleasant to the ear and the tongue. Like the word ‘litz’. As in “Litz, I have Chlamydia”. As for your boyfriend’s love life: he’s just doing his part. Women outnumber men by as much as two to one at universities in our country. If he wasn’t being poly-amorous, you’d probably be cold and alone, buying AA batteries for Mr Wiggle and crying yourself to sleep every night when you can’t satisfy your own paltry sexual needs. Quit whinging and just be glad you’re getting any at all. The Clap is just the icing on the cake.

Is this your way of telling us that Larry Birkhead is the father? As I see it, yes. NW printed a picture of Larry when he was a baby and he has Dannielynn’s fat jowly cheeks.

Worried Relation Hamilton East

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Gotcha!

Dear Worried Relation First of all: is your cousin hot? If so, make like it’s a banjo festival. If not, cease and desist at once. It’s just gross to get your root on with someone who is a grubby mutton. No, I shouldn’t say that because ugly people need love too. Except for that one kid in my Gothic Mode class. Damn……. Someone should pay for him to stay inside all day, probably with his cousin. As for mutant babies, what’s not to love? Maybe they’ll have super magic powers! That’d be awesome! Maybe you should be trying extra hard to impregnate your cousin, so you can start your own academy and have a bald guy in a wheelchair rock around, speaking in a really sexy Shakespearean voice. What gets me the most about your predicament is that you are aware that it’s your cousin you’re being intimate with and it’s an on and off relationship. This means you’ve gone back, knowing full well that you two are blood relatives. Now that, my friend, is commitment to the root. You’re a champion in my books. I hope all your babies are mutants. Mutants rule. Hard.

Is Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband the real father of little Dannielynn Hope? Can not predict now. We will need to hear from Zsa Zsa first before we form an opinion on that one. So do you think the father really is Howard K. Stern then? Can not predict now. We are awaiting the DNA tests to show whether Howard is a human or actually the Scientology alien God, Xenu. Signs point to the latter.

Dear Agony Art I’ve been seeing my cousin for casual sex on and off for a few months now. Will all of our children be mutated or just the first one?

Email your Agony Art questions to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

So Anna Nicole wasn’t interested in his money at all? Very doubtful. Just because she was trailer trash from Texas who used to work in a fried chicken joint doesn’t mean she was without morals completely.

Aha! We knew it! So, did Anna Nicole die because Howard K. Stern pumped her full of Methadone and pills? Yes. Well, actually, it was just the pills he pumped her full of. The Methadone itself she drank out of a baby’s bottle prepared by the nanny. Did Anna Nicole get her Bahamian visa fast-tracked by sleeping with the Bahamian immigration minister? Signs point to yes. That guy is a horndog. When you say signs, do you mean those photos I saw on the internet of Anna Nicole pashing up the Bahamian immigration minister? My reply is no. I am confusing myself now. Is Magic 8 Ball the ‘unnamed source’ they keep mentioning in Woman’s Day? It is certain. I was also the leak in the Matthew Ridge/Rebecca Loos mile-high club scandal. www.nexusmag.co.nz

Columns

WITH CANDICE BOTTOMSWORTH Guess who, don’t sue: which well known and wealthy University of Waikato lecturer is having an affair with an attractive third-year who keeps failing his courses, despite the fact that she gives him a ‘one-on-one seminar’ every week? Can’t guess? I have to admit, I don’t know either. I’m sure there’s more than one, which does make you wonder what you have to do to get a lousy C grade in this place. But this column is not one of those newspaper society pages where some (usually anonymous) tattler breathlessly tells us which rich old fart is screwing which dumb blonde; or which retarded ex-footballer is cheating on his wife with an equally closeted TV host/property developer. No; this column is not about ‘society’; this column is about societies, and the weirder the society, the more interest we will take in them. There are lots of bizarre societies out there. Take, for example, the Society for the Promotion of Community Standards. These are the people who write letters complaining that last night’s South Park contained the word “crap”; but who don’t bat an eyelid when Sunday Montana Theatre shows graphic scenes of people being hung, drawn and quartered. This is the group who named Graham Capill one of their “people of high integrity”. Imagine starting an incorporated society whose sole aim is to eliminate homosexuality, swearing, doing the fingers and lots of other sorts of deviant disgusting behaviour. I’m not impugning the desire to impose one’s own morality on others, but really, don’t these people have anything better to do? Some people go to the gym. Some people go out dancing. Some people even join debating teams (!). And some people watch TV all night waiting for the chance to scrawl a foam-flecked invective to the Broadcasting Standards Authority because they caught a glimpse of nipple. Interestingly, and perhaps on a slight tangent, a survey was held a while ago regarding which television personalities senior citizens found most attractive. I can’t remember who the women thought was Sexiest Man (probably Jeremy Wells, although at the time he was all of nineteen), but I do remember that the Old Fellas voted for “the girl from the Briscoes ads” by a huge margin. And now whenever I hear that voice, with those lovely thick flattened vowels, excitedly telling me about three-packs of towels for “sux nointy-noin a peck”, I get a picture of her as a pin-up ala Marlyn Monroe in all the pensioner flats in the country. And I really wish Bill Hastings would censor that particular image. Anyway, in next week’s column we will be featuring the very strange Rotary International and Lions. www.nexusmag.co.nz

BY ISA

Uni-food You arise Monday morning bright and early, or rather, hung-over, grouchy and five minutes late for your first lecture. Then you: A. Skip breakfast and fall asleep mid-lecture, only to be tempted by coffee and greasy chips on the way home which sustain your energy for half an hour before plummeting you into a hypoglycaemic tantrum (ie. you slamming your door in your flatmates face). B. Pick up the nearest bourbon and cola, light a cigarette and head out the door, get distracted on the way to uni by a public spectacle involving an outside couch and symbolic burning and wake up in a gutter at sunset. C. Grab your pre-prepared high protein snack from the fridge or freezer, enjoy it on the way to uni and bluff your way through the day with more than enough energy to learn stuff good. The things we put into our bodies have an astronomical impact on our energy levels, moods and general wellbeing. Eating high protein foods and avoiding refined sugar, starches and caffeine when possible will help to balance and sustain energy levels. Check out these protein-rich meals and snacks below for more ideas.

Ideas for protein-rich meals • Porridge with almonds and yogurt or milk • Baked beans on whole wheat toast • Eggs on toast • Nachos with corn chips and kidney beans • Lentil soup with bread and or cheese • Rice with stir-fry sauce and cashews

Ideas for protein-rich snacks • Peanut butter on toast/ crackers, • Cheese sandwiches, crackers or toasties • Hummus on crackers • Egg sandwiches • Yogurt with mixed nuts and seeds

Energising smoothie Courtesy of Dawn Tuffery Note: Get berries in 1kg lots from a roadside place like the one on Morrinsville Rd, and store in the freezer. Barley grass powder and lots of other nice things can be purchased from organic or health-food stores. • Small handful of frozen blueberries • A few frozen strawberries • Half a frozen banana • 2/3 cup liquid – soy milk, milk, rice milk, etc. Or water, and add protein powder. • 1 tsp barley grass powder or spirulina powder • Heaped tablespoon each of whole linseeds, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, sunﬂower seeds, or whatever you have available. Small piece of tofu (optional) Blend well. Drink fresh, put in closed container in fridge or take in a drink bottle. ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Columns

BY VITAMIN C

BY BURNSY AND THE BOGAN

Welcome back, lusty adventurer. Here’s hoping that you made it through your orientation campaign intact, and have scored yourself lots of experience and rewards, without getting any nasty statuseffects. Continuing on from last week, here is a rundown the remaining major classes:

By now, O-week is over. You have several sexually transmitted diseases and are wondering where that bruise/cut came from, not to mention that road cone. These are the often overlooked effects of alcohol. Over the years these effects have bitten us on the arse. The best thing we’ve learned is if you’re going to engage in drunken shenanigans, do so within reason. And, ‘If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough’. So here’s Burnsy and Burton’s good idea/bad idea for this week:

Communications: Another common choice, although bizarrely nobody seems to really know the main focus of a Comms player. Even if you ask one about their passive or active skill set, you can never seem to get a concrete answer. However Comms characters are unique in that they are able to learn an extra skill set after completion of the What Have I Done? quest at the first lecture. To offset their useless knowledge of ‘Powerpoint Presentation’ and ‘Schedule Meeting’, most players will opt to learn skills from the Thief class. In fact, there is a clan made up of Comms players who rely exclusively on their mastery of thievery. You may have heard of this tribe - it is commonly referred to as Telecom. You may come up against these evil warmongers if you undertake the Connect My Fucking Phoneline Now quest. Engineering: The widely-feared powerhouse of any party. Engineering students normally spend most of their time locked up in a lab somewhere and on the weekend are unleashed for some serious power-leveling and questing. Most parties seek an Engineer or two as they are known for soaking up damage for the party, and most are happy to supply them with a larger share of the party’s resources. Characterized by use of skills like ‘Headbutt’, ‘Scotch Scull’ as well as quickly learned passive abilities like ‘Abusively loud’ and ‘Womanizing +10’. By Monday the Engineer has vanished, leaving a wake of confusion, cacodemons, and some rather high experience levels. Chemistry: The artisans and craftsmen of the world. Learn basic skills like ‘Fermenting’ and ‘Distilling’ in order to trade items for gold form other players. Very popular in parties small enough to make use of their various talents, but large enough so that you can go questing without having to hang around next to them and have them screw it all up. Management: An NPC (Non-Player-Character) class. You can’t choose to be a Management player, these are just the computer controlled people that are used to populate the environment. You know the ones, they have the dialogue that loops after three sentences: “Hey, how’s it going?” “Have you seen my friend?” “I like sunny days lol” “Hey, how’s it going?”. That’s it for now and remember not to pilot a robo-chariot when under any status-effects! 36

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