NEXUS
MARAMARA MARAMARA KŌRERO KŌRERO / 专栏 / 专栏
Whelmed Panic Stations by Rachael Elliott
Dave Snell (He/Him)
The smarter you are the more likely you are are being thrown under the fucking bus. In because we’ve been sexualised since we to struggle withinyour health. I dunnoexperience every country from which is available, children? like never being Anxiety comes a lotmental of forms and people it differently. cat data called Presley who were has slept on meNothing for the past seven years. whether that makes more or less likely every racial,Panic ethnic, and age her group, from sure if you trust on a person keep you We also tend to call ity’all different names. For me,inI call it Panic. Patting gives me something elsecan to focus until it to passes. to hitappeared the skidsintomy belife honest. diddiagnosed make every period: we have lower arrest on your toes. first whenYou I was with historical Crohn’s when into15. uni,It but then you actually chose to itrates for allWhy crime Iitwas starts with a thought. Back then was athan fairlymen typical am Icategories telling you this? Catharsis? Maybe I can rationalise it by come here higher education is the think except prostitution Perhaps it’s you’re because still Also, get paid less thought thatwhen a lot of people with disabilities - “Why me?”. As (which sayingshouldn’t that if you be experience it too, notwe alone. because biggest money-making scam the boomers a crime, sex work is work). Several peerthan men for doing the same work. Nothing I’ve gotten older, it's morphed into “What am I going to do?”. When when it comes to some of this stuff, it's not healthy for me to shut managed since thethe housing crisis so… Jury’s inreviewed over the last Knowing few decades like feeling unappreciated to make I was a teenager, why would get louder my head.studies With the down. it will pass is useful, because I know thatyou I’mwant not shownposition. that wom*n outperform to stayBut in bed day. what I’m experiencing out. in my head building, I’d curl up into a ball inhave noise the foetal actually having amen heart attack. not all sharing the be key areas that make for I seem withdrawn or angry. Me talking about Then I’d start yelling it at the top of my lungs.inMymany armsof would with others can mean leadership: self-awareness, kindness, Maybe because we’veallbeen taught are 10 Recent fromlikethe NZ protecting Health survey up over stats my head I was my face.good My parents would it in this column is helpful, andit’s let’s be honest, columnists reported that women socialself-serving skills, and different ways not to raped but boystheir still understandably not knowaged what15-24 to do.were They’d self-control, try to pull myhumility, arms pretty and just want to appear allbe knowing or heal experiencing anxiety and but depression moral men haven’t been told not to rape us? That deep down or try to talk me down, at the endatof the day itsensitivity. just neededWhileown shit,outperform right? us in unprovoked aggression, psychopathy, down, some men think they’re entitled to double the rate of men the same age, and to calm down itself. The only thing that would work would be playing greed, and the kinds of our smiles, our time, and our bodies, even Māori to youth 1.5 times more to tonarcissism, music calm are me down. I used to golikely to sleep Metallica’s Nothing " Why am I telling you this? haveMatters a diagnosis of anxiety disorder than Machiavellian tendencies Else on repeat. non-Māori. Our trans, non-binary, gender that create things like white Catharsis? Maybe I can rationalise crime, mishandling queer, and takatāpui whānau are even Nowadays it comes as a “What am I more going tocollar do?”. My thoughts global pandemic and it by saying that if you experience marginalised, so they’re deeper in the Iofdoa for start racing about how even all these treatments my Crohn’s the need for hole. are just holding back the flood gates. My brain tells me thatthe one#metoo it too, you’re not alone. " movement. And yet they’re day those flood gates are going to burst and it’ll be over. I won’t So able don’ttotry andwon’t tell me stillI’ll in charge. And you be work, be that able there to feedisn’t my afamily, have to sell all societally constructed, gender specific, askI can’t us why we need my collections of stuff, and then what? I shut still down. share Saying that the world is getting more stressful and you just need to when we say itno. kyriarchal component our mental health what I’m thinking withtoanyone. I lay on my sidefeminism. on the couch, and get over it isn’t helpful. Talking about more is. You’re not abnormal crisis. The till effect of gender-roles theget angry, that can help. and you’re not alone. If you’re able to reach out, well done, because try to wait it passes. Sometimes,and if I can I digress. Whythat arewill wom*n more Maybe allAtfucked up least, because negative of these throughout Anger is experiences a bit of a misunderstood emotion. IAnyway, find it motivating. help you recognise this,we’re I hope. the very you we’re share your life, often starting before you even likely to struggle with their mental health more likely to experience mental and Jumpdafuckup by Soulfly is particularly motivating for me. If I can’t something with a selfish columnist in the Waikato. realise what is happening, is a very large than men? MaYBE iT’s ThEiR HoRMoNEs? physical violence and abuse than men, and get angry, I just have to wait till it passes, and try to distract my mind Are comes wom*natmore to be anxious and trauma is directly linked to the development andwatching specific something risk factor on for TV. mental by The illness. Panic mostly night,likelyTake care. because Not to mention the I’m facttrying that we’re usually mostly. Often when to sleep. Luckily,depressed I have a very floofywe do all the emotional of anxiety, depression, and a host of other left literally holding the baby (or the sibling, labour or because men aren’t allowed to mental illnesses. or parent or grandparent). have feelings? Either way you can thank the patriarchy, and the solution is feminism. Maybe, until we sort that out, wom*n are going to struggle more with their mental Despite being the gold fucking standard of humanity, wom*n (yes, all wom*n, inclusive) Perhaps we’re anxious and depressed health than men. 16 N.12 / V. 55
