N.15 / V.55 by Nexus Magazine

The Blues Awards are a celebration of excellence.

NOMINATIONS OPEN 11 July - 7 August 2022.

If you or someone you know has achieved at regional, national or international level in sport or the creative and performing arts, submit a Blues Award nomination! Nomination forms and information available at waikato.ac.nz/events/blues

cook until golden brown..

trimester BSTUDENT GYM MEMBERSHIP ONLY $230 UP-FRONT

MONDAY SQUAT 3x12 (rpe 9)

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THURSDAY psych 101 *check slide

David Bennett List MP based in Hamilton East 510 Grey Street, Hamilton East 3216 davidbennettmp@parliament.govt.nz davidbennett.national.org.nz 07 834 3407

Authorised by David Bennett MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington.

NEXUS

TUHINGA O ROTO

CONTENTS

Contents

Team

Nā Te Ētita

Lead a Horse to Water

Ētita Jak Rāta etita@nexusmag.co.nz

Deputy Editor Features

FOMO

Full Exposure

Tehana De Klerk tehana@nexusmag.co.nz

Deputy Editor News Jared Ipsen

News

jared@nexusmag.co.nz

Columns

Designer Wenyue Ruan - 阮文悦 wenyue@nexusmag.co.nz

Short & Small News

Clubs Spotlight

Advertising & Communication James Raffan comms@wsu.org.nz

Contributors

Sports

Promethean

Sports Pt.2

Reviews & Entertainment

Whelmed

Cooked

Pass the AUX

Horoscopes & Puzzles

DISCLAIMER

LOCATION

Nexus is a magazine made by students, for students. As such it’s sometimes controversial views don’t actually represent those of the Nexus Editor, the writers, or the sponsors.

The Nexus offices are located down the hall at the WSU, usually with Alexa playing terribly dated music. You can send correspondence to us at:

PRINTING

Nexus C/O Waikato Students’ Union, University of Waikato, Ground Floor SUB Gate 1 Knighton Road Hillcrest 3216

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N.15 / V. 55

Caitlin Walters-Freke Chelsea James Chloe Smith Dave Snell Eilidh Huggan Hannah Huggan Hannah Petuha Hayley James Joseph Riwaka Katrina Jones Keira McGregor Lily Bradley Nikki Van Dijk Oliver Dunn Sarah Morcom Simon Winship Tys Paterson Seamus Lohrey Zian Volkov

Nexus Media Experience facebook.com/nexusnz @nexusmag @nexusmedia_nz

社论

EDITORIAL

NĀ TE ĒTITA

NEXUS

SAD BOY HOURS The title is misleading, but I’m not going to apologise because I’ve never prided myself on complete honesty as your leader in this dark time. Clickbait titles draw you in and I wanted to get your attention before I talk about something important. Jared Ipsen is leaving us. Please collect yourselves as I’m sure there’s a myriad of tears and tissues being pulled out as you try and understand why such a great hero is deciding to depart for a better paid job and definitive career growth. It’s just so unreasonable and just absolutely devo. But we mustn’t despair – we need to come together in such trying times. Jared has been here through the thick and thin, in the trenches as we struggle to pull together a vision for Nexus. A vision for crossmedia posting and pulling Nexus Media from the mud. Jared has been the driving force and sole voice behind our informative but nonetheless funny as fuck news each week. He’s been there for me as I was drugged, and when Tehana was… well being Tehana. Everytime he walks in the office, you know it’s going to be a laff or you’re going to have some dope kōrero about some small town blunder, laughing at the Te Aroha Tribunal? (honestly I don’t know the name and I don’t care). I’m sure you’re reading this and wondering why it’s starting to sound like a eulogy. If you are wondering that, well done; you got the point of this piece. And if you haven’t, it’s because it’s true. We have to treat this like tangihanga as

Jared leaving has left a massive sheeny blonde hole in our hearts where he once was. Cue He Honore me Whakaaria Mai. To be completely honest (I’m not immune to irony so don’t fucking point it out), Nexus has become an outlet for me to express myself through kupu ā-kaupapa and to understand my place in te ao hurihuri. As self-serving as this magazine has become, it constantly allows me to meet new tauira and friends that just want to create and exist in this space alongside me. That’s where my editorial/writing team have made this journey possible for me and for all of you. It’s corny but with the likes of Jared, I’ve been able to harness my skills as a creative but also as tumu herenga waka, lol kāo but as a leader. As the editorial image suggests, I’m stuck in the mud without my News editor but there’s light as a new team starts nek wiki. To Jared, I want to leave you with something my friend, and thank you for your time at Nexus and helping me build this brand throughout 2022. You’ve been such an integral part, not just this year, but over your last 6ish years writing for Nexus. E Rangi, e Papa, e Te Whānau Atua, Whakatōhia to koutou manaakitanga, ki roto e tēnei mahi o mātou. Jared, my tuakana, good luck on your next adventure my bro. Wīare.

新闻

Say YES, to the 'Speak to a Fourth Year Student Breakfast' held by the Young Engineers Society at UoW this coming Thursday 4th August in D.2.09. Now if you held a gun to our head and asked us where that was in the University, we couldn’t tell ya. But we will say that old mates over at YES are pretty pumped.

PITOPITO新闻KŌRERO NEWS / WIHIRI NIUHI

NEXUS

Last Place Bar, if you haven’t heard of it, is hosting some hella dope shows coming up. They’ve got the Minter Winter @LP line up happening. With the likes of Slippery Slim, Future Dad, ThiefOfBaghdad and King Komodo (Both solo and as Thief ‘N Zard”), Edible & Melanie. Head to their website or socials for more information. Voices of Mana Motuhake is running until 26th of August in the main gallery at the Gallagher school of performing arts. It’s a display of visual design, kōwhaiwhai through the use of the Kīngitanga Te Paki o Matariki. It’s a visual representation of a political movement, coined through the phrase ‘Ko te mana Motuhake’ If you’re a Quiz Night fan, but you’ve not found one you truly love yet? Well we’re just going to take the hard mahi out and give you a list of some of the good ones over the next couple of weeks. Don’t ever say that we’re not helpful. Good Union - Tuesday - 6:30pm Hillcrest Tavern - Wednesday - 7:00pm TDO - Wednesday - 7:00pm WMSSA - Wednesday - 8:00pm (go to their facebook for details) Biddy Mulligans - Wednesday - 7:00pm Local Taphouse - Thursday - 6:30pm

NEXUS

PITOPITO KŌRERO

NEWS

新闻

Last Wiki This Wiki Jared Ipsen

Tragically for you, this will likely be my last time writing this section of the news for Nexus. Due to the ever increasing price of cheese, and the Government’s arbitrary limit on the amount of money a student can earn ($500 a week is enough to live on in 2022, right?), I have been forced to get a Real JobTM so I can continue to subside my landlord’s undeserved lifestyle. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about the happenings of the world that I was personally interested in, and weren’t too upset about me making fun of people that deserved it. And look, sure, I could have reported on the important topics that affect students - like our country’s cost of living crisis, out of control inflation, the ongoing effects of the pandemic, and whatever the fuck happened to Momento - but I didn’t really feel like it, and I figured that you probably already know how fucked everything is without me reminding you of it every week. All complaints can now be sent directly to our editor, instead of me sending them directly to the trash in my inbox. Peace be with y’all! 8

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High school principals across the country are warning the Government that their schools are at ‘breaking point’ due to staff and student absences. The ongoing pandemic and a particularly nasty flu season has led to principals reporting daily student absences of up to 50%, causing rangatahi to fall ‘so far behind’ on their studies that they become ‘disengaged, anxious, and depressed.’ Speaking to RNZ, Nelson College Headmaster Richard Dykes says at-risk students are ‘signing out’ of schooling altogether due to the amount of disruption over the last few years. Winter illnesses are also taking their toll on staff, seeing an already exhausted workforce stretched ever thinner by filling in the gaps left by those struck down by the dreaded Cov’. A study from education union NZEI Te Riu Roa found a 40% decline in relief teachers across the Waikato. RNZ reports that a letter has been sent to the Government by the Principals' Association, asking for changes to NCEA assessments to allow for at least some young people to pass this year.

新闻

PITOPITO KŌRERO

NEWS

NEXUS

A tenancy rights group is protesting against noted shitbags and slumlords Quinovic in Wellington. Tenant's Action Wellington presented a list of demands to the ‘property management’ company, which included requiring landlords to provide proof they’re addressing repairs, minimum tenancy lengths, banning evictions during winter, and a year’s notice before selling a house from underneath tenants. Quinovic aren’t the only bottom feeding property company that deserve to be bullied, but they are certainly one of the worst - their foibles include false advertising, evicting women for becoming pregnant, unfairly withholding bonds, and not providing smoke alarms for the homes they managed. Predictably, when the hosts of the AM Show interviewed a representative of Tenant's Action, they expressed that people actually should be evicted during brutal winter months, and that their demands were ‘unreasonable and greedy.’ Just say you hate poor people, Newshub. It’s okay. We get it.

Social media platforms have signed on to Netsafe’s new ‘code of conduct’ document, aimed at reducing ‘harmful content’ online. TikTok, Twitch, Youtube, Meta (Facebook and Instagram’s parent company) and Twitter have all added their e-signatures to the recently launched Aotearoa New Zealand Code of Practice for Online Safety and Harms, all agreeing to make their ‘best efforts’ (lol) to stop SA, bullying and harassment, hate speech, incitement of violence, graphic content, and misinformation being posted to their platforms - which is ironic, considering unhinged antivax grifters Voices For Freedom still have just under 20,000 followers on Instagram. In fact, Facebook’s own leaked internal research found that their platforms directly cause body image issues for a third of teenage girls, and increase thoughts of unaliving in up to 13% of its users so you can see how it’s hard to believe that these immensely powerful social networking sites actually give a shit about their users at all. In a joint statement from Tohatoha NZ, InternetNZ and the Inclusive Aotearoa Collective Tāhono, CEO Mandy Henk slammed the new code of conduct document, claiming it ‘avoids real change and real accountability’ from the social media giants, and that the code allows Meta to ‘claim legitimacy without having done the work to earn it.’ Netsafe did not respond to me bullying them via email at the time of publishing.

NEXUS

PITOPITO KŌRERO

NEWS

新闻

Tractors and Birds News Jared Ipsen

A digger has fallen in to a stream in Tamahere. Work on the Te Awa River Ride bike path was thwarted last week when an orange digger working on a retaining wall slid down a bank at Tamahere’s Mangaonua Gully. Technically, the excavator didn’t directly fall in to the Mangaonua Stream, but increased rainfall over the last week caused the stream levels to rise and partially submerge it. An oil spill boom has been installed in the stream to absorb any possible contaminants, and Council hopes to remove the digger over the next few weeks once conditions improve. The Te Awa River Ride is a 65km cycle trail along the Waikato River, that will allow rich boomers with ebikes to see how badly we’ve destroyed the river with intensive farming and suburban pollutants. Council say the cost to remove the digger is ‘unknown at this time,’ but I’m sure that after a few months of meetings between various departments, they’ll decide to remove it some time in the next decade.

An outbreak of foot and mouth disease in Indonesia has seen our Government warning of a ‘doomsday’ if it reaches our shores. Known by nerds as ‘aphthae epizooticae,’ foot and mouth causes painful blisters and high fevers in our clovenhoofed friends, and is highly infectious - so infectious, in fact, that an outbreak in the UK in the early 2000s saw 6,000,000 animals slaughtered to reduce the spread of the disease. All shipments from Indonesia are being screened before entering Aotearoa, as foot and mouth can be spread through contaminated equipment, rather than just a sneeze of a cow. The Government is keeping a close eye on the situation, and so far, is yet to recommend face masks on cows and other vulnerable animals.

Residents of Te Awamutu are being urged to do their part to eliminate pest animals in our environment. Residents of rural Onewhero are being terrorized by vandals. Graduating from pulling out letterboxes and street signs with a car and a chain, the group of mysterious miscreants are now allegedly removing them with a chainsaw. Speaking to the Waikato Times, a local lamented the destruction of Mabel, their letterbox that had been painted to look like a cow - “what they are doing is so destructive,” they said. Stuff also reports that tractors have been stolen from the area, and some residents in the population 400~ town say that someone’s come and messed up their grass, too. 10

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This week will see the launch of Predator Free Te Awamutu, part of a nationwide group that aims to educate and enable locals to contribute to a predator free Aotearoa. The group hopes to open up a corridor between Maungatautari and Pirongia maunga, which have both seen extensive ecological work over the years. The New Zealand Herald reports than in the next decade, native birds will begin to habitate trees and streams around Te Awamutu, and hopefully not be eaten by an errant possum in the process. Subsidised pest animal traps will be available to residents, and if you’re in Hamilton and want to snap some rodent necks, hit up Go Eco.

新闻

PITOPITO KŌRERO

NEWS

NEXUS

Jak Rāta

“Rainbows are heaps gay”

“Slip, slop, SLAP & wrap”

Seven Manly players planned to boycott last Thursday night’s clash against the Roosters after being blindsided by the club’s decision to wear a pride jersey as the Sea Eagles’ season descended into chaos.

A source has told Entertainment Tonight Rock made the comments during a section on cancel culture in his show. "Anyone who says words hurt has never been punched in the face."

“Ball in hole, shared by five”

“Bro, snails are the huhu bug. Trust me”

In a five way during at the Evian Championships, Lydia Ko smashes out a leap from a tied 11th place to a fiveway draw on the third day of the French event.

Journalist Angela Mollard is being looked upon with confusion as she claims kiwi’s are eating snails straight from the garden in a kōrero around inflation in Australia.

“Old waewae express is the choice – until it isn’t”

“Fuck your chicken strips, and basic human needs”

Protestors to be charged with endangerment as roughly 1000 patrons were seen walking along the busy Auckland Southern Motorway. Officials called to action as the Destiny Church followers break the law… again.

Once again, Greens call for drastic action as students are romansticing living in squalor and choosing rent over food. With living costs exponentially increasing, concerns turn to solutions for the crisis.

NEXUS

HĀKINAKINA

SPORTS

运动

Commonwealth Games Oliver Dunn August is a pretty decent month. Host to winter’s farewell tour and my cat’s birthday, and well, that’s usually about it. Every now and again however, some great sporting event will overlap the eighth month and really jazz things up. This year it’s the Olympics’ younger cousin, the Commonwealth Games, running July 28 to August 8 in Birmingham, a city known for legendary rock music and canals. Apparently often referred to as the Friendly Games, it debuted in 1930 and has taken place every four years since then (with the exception of 1942 and 1946 for quite obvious reasons). There’s plenty to get excited about with the 2022 Games, which at the time of reading will be well underway. A handful of new and returning sports are featured including the debut of 3x3 basketball and 3x3 wheelchair basketball, and the return of cricket with women’s Twenty20. The Friendly Games also host a few exclusive events not included in the Olympics with netball, squash and lawn bowls. But what’s undoubtedly the most exciting is the Games commitment to inclusion. Unlike the Olympics, the Commonwealth Games integrate para sport and non-Para events (first introduced in the 2002 Manchester Games) and is in fact the only major international multi-sport event to do so. It’s no wonder their motto is ‘Games for Everyone’. This openness to all abilities is not new, what is new is the growth para sport has seen. Birmingham will boast the largest para sport component in history, with eight sports across 42 events (up from 36 since in the last Games). New Zealand is well represented with ten para athletes competing in lawn bowls and swimming. This commitment to inclusion has also seen the largest ever female programme in history with 136 events for women, two more than the men at 134, a first for a major multi sporting event. The Commonwealth Games Federation have made it clear they are committed to reaching new audiences and championing female and para sport. So now that you know how incredibly cool these Games are, you better be tuning in to some Commonwealth action. I’m personally still waiting for them to include handball as a sport (not the European one where it looks like they’re cheating at football but the one played in painted squares that I absolutely dominated in High School).

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运动

SPORTS

HĀKINAKINA

NEXUS

LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR, Anyone? James Raffan

In 2018 Manly NRLW star Karina Brown was captured in a now iconic moment, kissing her then girlfriend, who had just played against her in the Grand Final. It was a hallmark moment for a game I love and a sign that perhaps we were finally turning the corner on tolerance and acceptance in sport. In 2017, then Auckland Blues star and prominent man of faith, Sonny Bill Williams covered a sponsors logo because of his faith and his refusal to endorse money lenders. Those two stories came crashing together this week when Karina Brown’s Manly club became the poster children for the “we won’t wear a uniform that clashes with our religious beliefs” debate. Eight of the Manly men's team voluntarily ruled themselves out of selection for last weekend's game, because in a theme round that supported inclusivity, Manly decided to adorn their shirt with a message of tolerance and acceptance that also had the temerity to treat love like it was love and the LGBTTIQA+ community like it was loved. You know, kinda like what Jesus would have done. To those eight players I want to say a sincere congratulations, genuinely, you have decided that your faith is more important to you than the two points that would potentially take you into the top eight in a week that may be crucial for the clubs payoff ambitions. It can’t have been an easy choice. To the NRL, I want to say these players should be sacked immediately and issued with, at a minimum, two year bans. Choices have consequences. Some might say it is religious persecution, it isn’t. It is at a base level failure to fulfil your contractual obligations. We all have jobs, and if we don’t like the values of our employer or they ask us to do something that we don’t believe in (provided it falls within the scope of our regular duties) we all have one of three choices to make; we either suck it up, quit, or get fired. They have made their choice. It would be really easy at this point to pick apart the players' choices. I mean the inconsistency of religion in sport as a single issue of sexuality alone. If you are going to sit out this round based on ‘man should not lie with another man’ then surely you also have to refuse to play with the adulterers in your team? What about the fullback that got an actual dog

to lick his penis or the one who simulated a sex act with a chicken. This is after all a game that loves money lenders and gamblers too. Don’t even get me started on the fact that the shirt you wore was full of alcohol and gambling sponsorship. Also, if you are making a decision on whether to play next week you should be sure to check that your uniforms don’t contain ’cloth of wool and linen mixed together’(Deutronomy 22:11) and that the catering doesn’t contain ‘cattle bred with a different kind’ (Leviticus 19:19) or a ‘wine blend grown of two different kind of seeds’ Athletes of all stripes shouldn’t be held up to be role models, they will, almost to a fault, disappoint you but we also shouldn’t give them a free pass to select which games they play and don’t if the message their absence sends has no consequence to it. Recently I watched a documentary on Netflix about Adam Goodes, a man who my Australian friend suggested might be the Pele of AFL. He was named Australian of the year and then subjected to booing every single game for the next three years because he had the audacity to draw attention to racism in the game and the mistreatment of the first people of Australia. I thought about that, when I heard about this Manly thing. I thought about the fact that this past week the NRL fired Kevin Proctor, a player who wasn’t playing that week, for instagramming himself vaping in the stadium toilet. I thought about SBW, Israel Falaou, countless others who took moral stands, and others still who were subject to allegations of sexual assault or group sex. I realised the NRL is where morals go to die, its faux outrage at vaping doesn’t correct decades of sweeping heinous things under the rug or excusing conduct based on talent. Then I thought about how Ali was willing to walk away from Boxing because he didn’t believe in the American position in Vietnam. What I came to is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with players deciding they don’t agree with the values of their employer. They just can’t do it selectively or week to week. The NRL has a choice to make, either they are a sport that stands for inclusion and diversity or they are an employer who doesn’t. They can’t be both, and as a fan, I hope they side with Karina Brown. 13

NEXUS

HINENGARO

WHELMED

健康

Better Living Through Chemistry Don’t read this one either Mum. Now don’t get me wrong, medication has its place. There are chemical imbalances that go on that need addressing, there are medical reasons for psychological symptoms. But regardless of why you take medication in relation to a mental health issue, it's my belief that you need talk therapy alongside it. As I’ve mentioned in a bunch of previous columns, for the most part we just want to know that we’re not alone and a pill can’t do that by itself. It can help us maybe be a bit biologically stronger, but medication does not cure trauma. And so many of our issues can come from trauma of one kind or another. This probably goes without saying, but I’ll say it. These types of medications aren’t to be fucked with. I’ve gone cold turkey off a number of medications, including coming off oxycodone after taking it for a year and a half – that was a rough time sweating in the foetal position on the couch. Now I know you’re thinking “who the hell does something as stupid as that?” I do, but with the anxiety meds it's not on purpose. It's always important when you’re on long term prescriptions for this kind of thing, that you set up calendar reminders. Especially when doctors forget to put repeats on your prescription. Which reminds me, I need to set those calendar reminders on my phone.

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If you’re thinking it can’t be that bad, think again. I thought I was fine, after waiting three days without medication waiting for a prescription. Then my stomach started playing up, and I thought “maybe I shouldn’t go into work today, I’m a bit sore”. Now normally I would feel a lot of guilt for staying at home, even though I’m legitimately sick. But suddenly the fate of the entire universe depended on the decision I was about to make. Life and death (it wasn’t life or death, I’d be easily covered at work). I decided to power through and started driving to work. I thought if I got to work, I’d be fine. Long story short, I ended up parked on the side of the road, ringing my nurse while crying, not knowing what the hell was going on. Now my brain usually tells me I’m awful, but now it was screaming at me at full volume to drive into a tree or into oncoming traffic. Longer story even shorter, and fearing that anything more I have to say will incriminate me, I got to the hospital. My nurse rushed me to the medication and I sat there with her in the pharmacy until I was safe. Feeling like Johnny Depp (before he set domestic violence victims back 50 years) in Fear and Loathing, swatting at bats and instructing my Polynesian lawyer to buy a convertible. I totally have the legs to be Hunter S Thompson. Take care, don’t fuck with your meds without discussing it with your doctor, and never ask the pharmacists if they’ve fucked a polar bear.

NEXUS

PUORO

PASS THE AUX

音乐

PASS THE AUX Late arvo room cleaning

ALEXANDER 23

Jak Rāta

01. Sight of Me - Meron Addis 02. How - Ella Mai 03. My Bad - Mnelia 04. All Mine - Jai’Len Josey MAHALIA

05. Prodigal - Madison Ryann Ward (feat. Benji) 06. Haircut - Spacey Jane 07. Whatever Simon Says - Mahalia 08. Golden Child - Paravi LIME CORDIALE

09. Magic Wand - Alexander 23 10. Country Club - Lime Cordiale 11. Change Your Life - Kehlani (feat. Jhené Aiko) 12. One to Remember - Khruangbin KHRUANGBIN

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特辑

What a difference a fortnight makes! While Nexus was on the green helping Wenyue fulfil her Re-Orientation dream of becoming a free BBQ Pancake Emprazario and saying goodbye to much-loved newswriter and stalwart Jared Ipsen (who departs us to work in mental health, too apt a metaphor), the political landscape was being completely overhauled. Here is a brief rundown of what you might have missed… Only a small majority of Greens voted for James Shaw to remain the party’s Co-Leader. It’s worth noting that the slight majority was 71%. So it makes sense somehow that because 29% of the 107 delegates weren’t sold on Shaw, the party should go through a leadership challenge and have a full vote because democracy. Obviously, though, it is a shrewd political move for the Greens. After all, the Shaw / Davidson leadership brand hadn’t done anything except lead them to their first coalition government agreement in the parties' history. Now some of you might think that isn’t enough, and you are right because when you compare their current polling of 9.3% according to the latest Reid Research Poll in July, you’ll find that it is only 2% higher than how they performed in the last election. Worse still, if they didn’t have this leadership challenge, they were in real danger of becoming the first minor party to leave a coalition government arrangement in a better position than they were in at the start. Clearly, a change needed to be made.

FEATURE

KUPU WHAKAATU

NEXUS

An interesting side note to all of this is that the Herald’s “most respected” political commentator, (which is a little like being the house captain of Hufflepuff), Toby Manhire singled out our frenemies and occasional side-pieces at Salient with having signalled the Leadership challenge as far back as June. This could only happen one of two ways; either Salient fomented their own slow-moving coup on James Shaw's January sixth style, or Salient are witches. Either way, we have our stakes ready to go. Borris Johnson bid farewell to UK politics after 49 members handed in the most dramatic way England knows how polite, signed letters. Congress held six primetime TV specials outlining every probable criminal act that Trump committed, at the end of which absolutely no one changed their mind. We may be the only ones in the world who had hoped it would end with a text-to-vote like dancing with the stars. “If you think Trump conspired to overthrow democracy and seize power, then text 462-sedition.” Racist-ventriloquist-doll-come-to-life David Seymour complained to everyone because the Te Pati Māori kids were being mean to him in the schoolyard, to which Aunty Debbie basically said if you don’t like it go back to where you came from, ironically stealing the campaign slogan from New Zealand First 2023. 17

NEXUS

KUPU WHAKAATU

FEATURE

特辑

As if the last few weeks couldn’t cope with that story, Friend of Nexus and list MP David Alistair Bennett or DAB to his mates, dealt a death blow to both the pen and bucket hat-making sectors of the New Zealand economy by announcing that he was leaving politics, getting married, and had recently become a father. We never thought we would see the day when DB finally gave up his fight against Superman in order to settle down. Say what you will about Bennett, and we have,the man has been in parliament since 2005 and proven so effective that just by resigning, he created more jobs than National did the last time they were in charge. Finally, Bennett’s soon-to-be former boss (although the way National Leadership is that could refer to 30 people AND Judith Collins), Chris Luxon, decided to steer into the stereotype of being an out-of-touch, middle-aged, white Millionaire by colonising Hawaii and putting it under the control of the Kiwifruit district of Te Puke, previously best known for its Gollywog themed racist cafes. So that might be a win for diversity? So that was the last few weeks in Politics… If you are anything like us, you are probably crawling into the fetal position now and crying, and in some American states, you would have to stay like that for the next nine months. But we aren’t here just to burn the witches at Salient or cover Bennett’s campaign car with Nexus stickers. We are here for the truth! So we did what we always do in this situation, ran to some and asked them to explain to us really slowly what all this means? Specifically, are we becoming more Presidential? Do we elect leaders and not ideas? What is happening in Hamilton East, and what does it mean for poor Jamie Strange? Already 40 on the party list, can he survive a new fresh-faced, non-follically challenged candidate?

Questions with a Patrick Barrett

the Prime Minister, but instead vote for a party which they lead. Given the tightening of the polls recently, how much leverage will the minor parties have to set a full political agenda? Patrick Barrett: Will the tail wag the dog? It depends, of course, on the outcome of the election. They will still be minor parties, and so should expect influence beyond the level of electoral support they receive. If a Labour-led government, either with the Greens or Te Pati Māori were to prevail, how likely is it that Ardern would see out the full term? Patrick Barrett: I’d say it’s very likely. There is no indication she intends to step down. If she did leave, how big is the leadership vacuum in Labour and who are the likely candidates to take over since she doesn’t appear to have any faith in Kelvin Davies? Patrick Barrett: Audrey Young was writing about this in the NZ Herald this morning, and she suggested the two front runners are Chris Hipkins and Michael Wood. I think she is probably right.

A moment with David Bennett What has been your biggest achievement in politics? Having the best ever pens on campus delivered via the Waikato Expressway What advice do you have for your successor? Go on the free O Week bus into town and no phones allowed Who was your favourite colleague outside of your own party?

How important is leadership of a political party these days?

Patrick Barrett: Party leaders play an important role in communicating their party’s vision of the good society and inspiring support from the public.

There were a lot of Leadership changes in your time so.. Key, Collins, Bridges… Fuck, Marry, Kill?

Are we in danger of becoming more Americanised in the way we elect a party based on the leader? Patrick Barrett: It is generally accepted that New Zealand now mirrors the US presidential style of election campaigns where the party contest really becomes a leadership contest. The extent to which that is the case, however, shouldn’t be overstated because New Zealand voters don’t directly elect 18

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Marry is the only diplomatic option Do you finally want to finish telling Nexus that story about your trip to Thailand? One night in Bangkok… never slept… but not as you think, it was only a stopover Who is your pick to play you in DB The Movie?

特辑

FEATURE

KUPU WHAKAATU

NEXUS

Dwayne Johnson - because of the resemblance and it would be a great movie

I will make that decision closer to the election, after having conversations with my family and key stakeholders.

Why did you wear a hair net that one time you did the bakery tour? It’s important to protect your last follicles…

Your place in the Labour Party list went from the mid-30s to 40 in the last election. With the election tightening, is holding on to the seat realistically your only chance of remaining in parliament?

Finally, and most importantly, why did you name your daughter after a Jane Austen heroine? I want her to be a strong woman without needing to conform to expectations… maybe a bit like her Mum and Dad

A laff with Jamie Strange With Bennett recently announcing his retirement, he stated that “He wanted to give the selection of the new candidate time.” Do you intend to stand in Hamilton East for another term?

That will be a question for the Party leaders and Hamilton voters. I will continue to work hard to deliver key local projects such as the Waikato Regional Theatre, Te Huia Passenger rail service, Pan Pacific Hub, Ruakura Superhub, Te Awa Cycleway, and housing developments. Some have argued that you have benefited from being to the right of Bennett for the last two terms, particularly in conscience votes like Euthanasia, removing Abortion from the crimes act, the legalisation of Marijuana and your support to get Hamilton Christian School more funding. Are you worried that the next National candidate will be too similar to you in ideology and worldview? That is not something I am worried about, it's not something I can control.

Nexus Picks a National MP

Eduardo Bennett

Briscoes Lady

Ay papi, Eduardo Bennett es muy caliente. We can’t help but swell at the thought of David’s twin taking over and leaving all our seats wet.

Recession? Inflation? Not on her watch. We are going to be the only country in the Commonwealth whose reserve bank has a ‘Labour weekend only half price mortgage rate.’ Go hard Aunty.

Jamie Strange Religious Views? Check. Voted against abortion? Check. With his position on the list nearing the 40’s it might be a good time to see how a blue tie looks.

Ella Quigley While usually an apt choice, the idea of a halfblack anything probably wouldn’t have old mate Luxon clamouring to endorse the choice.

John Lawrenson

Damian McKenzie

He’s already got the rich, white facade going hard for him and we’re sure skint night would have the caucasions of National frothing as they tax the $5 drinks for a 30% increase. Results!

If the National party knows anything, it’s blindly investing in figure heads that are one foot in and one foot out. Can’t go wrong with Damo.

NEXUS

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NEXUS

HAKINAKINA

FULL EXPOSURE

访谈

Sponsored by Last Place :)

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访谈

FULL EXPOSURE

HAKINAKINA

NEXUS

Venom Dolls Jak Rāta

Fomo Tings: EP... maybe? Follow them: @djboomie

Artists of very few words, Venom Dolls are a collective of badass femme, queer artists with a hella unique sound but an important message in all their works. To give you a taste of why they’re so fucking cool, here’s their bio in their linktree: An all-female indie punk band with a nofucks-given attitude and a killer sound. If that doesn’t make you want to go and follow and listen to all their shit, I don’t really know what else to tell you mate, just fucking do it. With such a varied mix of sounds and inspirations in your music, how would you describe your own sound?

VENOM DOLLS

Punk alt-rock, we have hard rock influences and emo influences too Cara Who’s who in the band, what do each of you bring? - Summah brings the energy - Cara brings the fullness and rhythm - Jess brings the foundations If someone came up to you all and asked your favourite artists, who would you say?

- Cara would say Tool, Mcr, Meshuggah - Summah would say Led zeppelin, knocked loose, title fight - Jess would say Led zeppelin, Slaves So what’s next on the cards for Venom Dolls, what should we be on the lookout for? One more EP coming out, which also means we'll be printing 10 track cds. Heaps of gigs coming with the temp members, but we're mostly just waiting for Jess to get back What’s the most important thing we need to know about you/your band right now? We're an all queer femme band. If you could add one member to your band – any person, living or dead, musical or otherwise – who would it be, and what would they play? - That’s a hard one! I was going to say John Bonham because he’s the reason I started drumming but two drummers in one band doesn’t really work - Summah - We would have another Cara on lead guitar - Cara - Oof that's a tough one, Miles davis on trumpet lol Or Joan Jett 2nd guitar - Jess

NEXUS

MARAMARA KŌRERO

COLUMN

专栏

SKIP THE BOAT Tell us a bit about yourself and where the brand originated: Where did it first start? I’m Herman, I’m 24 years young & currently living in Hamilton. I created skip the boat because I was sick of hearing the same old top 40 songs in town and was heavily inspired by the underground scene in the states. I would always tell my friends and those around me I could throw such a better party than the ones we went to and in the summer of 19/20 I was going through a break-up and wanted to do anything and everything to keep myself busy. What pushes you to work so hard? I’ve seen the long hours and hard work you put into building the brand. My goals, ambitions, progression, and love for the art. I think when you find something you’re truly passionate about, the work doesn’t feel like work to you. Sure it can be super stressful at times but I remind myself that it’s all part of the process, I see the bigger picture and understand that this is just something I have to go through in order to get what I want. If you don’t want the stress or struggle then do nothing and be nothing. I don’t enjoy the struggle but I appreciate it because it means I’m growing, every loss is a lesson. I’ve carried that mentality with me since the beginning. Too many people have one bump on their road and throw the towel in, I've had hundreds yet I’m still pushing full throttle. Where do you draw your creative inspiration from? And how do you maintain that creative focus as a creator? Everything is inspired by life itself. The clothing I create is inspired by moments in my life and stories I want to tell the world. I truly use it as an outlet for my feelings and emotions. I’ve never been someone to speak up about my emotions so I find solace in creating these pieces which allow me the freedom to say what I want, how I want. In terms of maintaining creative focus, I’m a firm believer in not forcing art, real art is the best art. Quite often ideas

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and inspiration will come to you and if they don’t I think it’s important to take a step back, go for a walk outside, hang out with friends, and put yourself in a new environment or something that makes you uncomfortable. What is real will always prosper. What’s the biggest challenge you have faced creating the brand? There have been so many! It’s hard to really pinpoint one in particular but I think accepting the sacrifices is a key one. I’ve prioritised the brand over nearly everything so when I have work that has to be done, I make sure it gets done above anything else. I think I see my friends maybe once every two months? And it’s not because I love them any less, I just understand that I have something special here and would hate to throw it all away just for my own personal pleasure. They understand that too, they encourage me to do what I have to do in order to turn my dreams into reality which is super supportive and awesome. It can be hard at times though, especially when they are all planning cool trips and you really want to go but also have a lot of work that has to be done at the same time. Like I mentioned before it’s just the price you pay I guess. For anyone out there chasing their dreams- what advice can you give them? Believe in yourself. You’ll never hear “it’s impossible” from someone winning, it’s those that gave up on their own dreams that will try to tear others down because they could never do it themselves. Ignore them and don’t let anything they say affect your vision. Have self-belief engraved in you so deeply that no matter what anyone says, you already know that you’ll be successful. The first step is self-belief, and the second step is sacrifice, hard work, and consistency. You won’t meet many people who have worked hard consistently towards their dreams for 5+ years and not get somewhere. It’s those that quit because they find a little bump on the road that never achieve what they set out.

专栏

Exploring Beyond the Final Frontier It was 1969. People crowded around the nearest TV set or radio as Neil Armstrong utters the famous words “one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” Humans had done the unthinkable. We had set foot on the moon, 343,000 km away from Earth, and thus began our journey through the stars. For whatever reason, we aren’t content staying put and the natural curiosity of our species makes us want to know what is out there. Fast forward to 2022 and people are staring at their phones as NASA releases the first images from the James Webb Telescope. How lucky we are to bear witness of the next step in space exploration and to finally see truly what is out there. Most of us learnt about the planets of our solar system in primary school. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune (and maybe, Pluto for those of you who remember its existence). What can you remember about them? Saturn has rings, Mars is red, and Uranus has a funny name that very few people can say without laughing. New technology has revealed even more about what lies above us in the night sky. On Dec 25th 2021, space nerds received the Christmas present that keeps on giving as the James Webb Telescope was launched. Its mission is to capture photos of distant galaxies in order to better understand the early years of the universe. It cost $10 billion USD and 20,000 people worked on it over two decades. The end result looks like something out of Stars Wars but it will provide us with a greater understanding of what is out there in our universe.

COLUMN

MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

The first image shows stars and galaxies in every direction. Some of these galaxies are so far away that the light that is emitted by them can take up to 13 billion years to reach the telescope. That means we are looking 13 billion years into the past. Those that know the intro to the Big Bang Theory will know that the universe is 14 billion years old. So we are looking at some of the first ever galaxies. Using detectors, we can assess the incoming light and work out what these galaxies are made of. The next one is stunning. It looks like a painting but in fact, shows a previously unseen part of the Carina nebula. It is a maternity ward for stars, where gravity brings together hot gases and compresses them into stars just like our Sun. This one shows the death of a star. Stars are swirling balls of hot gas. They are primarily fueled by hydrogen, and when this runs out, gravity causes the star’s core to collapse in on itself. The heat generated from this expands the outer layers and the star grows in size, becoming a red giant. If the sun were to do this, its radius would be just past Earth. Eventually, helium formed from hydrogen, will combine together to form carbon and the core will cool. Material in the upper layers will be ejected out forming a planetary nebula, which is seen in the photo. While the primary goal is to understand the early universe, data is also being collected to discover habitable exoplanets. If we can find water, heat and other conditions for life, we might find some other worldly beings or perhaps, if we are, indeed, alone, then these may become our home as the human race expands out into the cosmos.

NEXUS

MARAMARA KŌRERO

COLUMN

专栏

Mumble Rap Honestly, there was a time where it was strictly old school hip-hop for me, sticking to the greats. But ya know, then college started, and there was this new type of sound. I heard rumblings, murmurs even, of this fabled genre called ‘trap’. The premise is rooted in stereotypes, so yes it is about drugs, money and flexing/bragging about everything, but the hype is what owns this genre. With trap, it’s lyrically imperfect, but the movement of mumble rap can pull you in because it's just fucking fun. I'd like to talk about some of the more popular mumble rappers. But I do want to be authentic to their sound by telling you what makes them unique compared to other (traditionally better) rappers like Kendrick Lamar or J. Cole. First I would like to talk about "Rich The Kid" He has mixtapes such as "Flexing on Purpose" "Still Flexing" and a lot of other songs that promote the aforementioned lifestyle of drugs and shit. I do appreciate the style he’s created, and adapting along with Migos as they were both connected in a label around 2013. Rich The Kid knows what to say and how to say, keeping a humorous tone, without missing a beat. Ironically the next would be Migos. Funny story. In 2017 I had this feeling that they would become hella popular while I was attending a Whitireia course for Dj-ing and one of my main tutors had connections to some hosting concerts. But even then, it was like $10k was if you were wanting to get them to an event, surely not including travel costs or per diem. Here’s the thing though, they make hits, the kind of hit that just circles in your head and infiltrates all your thoughts. Quavo, who I personally think runs the

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show, has a flow unmatched and nobody else could do his stuff the way he does. He’s just fresh and is keeping the genre ever-changing. In a way, all these rappers are connected through a production style that consists of super producers (metro boomin) and flow, with a range of lyrics shaped to represent the sound. A sound that becomes, Mumble Rap. You wouldn't hear someone bumbling lyrics on a 90s beat. It was basically unheard of, with odds of like 1:1000. And that's the thing, consistency is the pride of this joy. As well as Migos and Rich the Kid, there’s a myriad of mumble stars that need mentioning, with staggering tracks into the 100’s with many being unreleased. It’s actually fucked thinking about the hundres of unreleased sounds in their libraries. The leaders of this new generation are Future & Young Thug, they evolved, not just mumble rap, rap slang and making the public start adopting phrases into their daily vernacular. They are both known for their explicit and savage lyrics but that comes with the culture of toxicity. Though, I’m sure, many teenagers and adults can relate back to this environment, since it’s art imitating life, imitating art. Sure, old-school rap had a beautiful sound, but it was slow. Rappers had to adapt to the fast nature of the 21st century, creating lyrics that pick up pace and are accurate in their portrayal of current societal norms. The invention of this genre has moved a generation, inventing new other styles. You can say these lyrics are stupid but I think that music is meant to just be fun, and that’s how I feel about Mumble Rap. Shit is just fun bro.

Dr Gaurav Sharma MP for Hamilton West

43 Pembroke St, Hamilton Lake (07) 8 37 38 29 gaurav.sharma@parliament.govt.nz /gmsharmanz @gmsharmanz /gmsharmanz

Authorised by Dr Gaurav Sharma MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington

Wishing you a great academic year ahead

Straight-up premium burgers in your neighbourhood ~ simple & fast. Come say hello: 372 Grey Street, Hamilton East

NEXUS

WHEAKO TAUIRA

STUDENT EXPERIENCE

学生体验

STOP FLIPPING YOUR PAGES! Whew that was close. You almost missed out on hearing about WILA! The University of Waikato's Women in Law Association (WILA) is a society dedicated to promoting gender equality and the advancement of women in the legal profession at Te PiringaFaculty of Law. Created in 2018, WILA strives toward creating a safe environment for female law students. With Juliet Chevalier-Watts as our patron, WILA has over 300 members across the Law Faculty and it is open to all law students regardless of their gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. With the stress of the semester starting to build, WILA is here to provide the good times to keep you going! WILA’s award winning Wine and Paint event is fun, family friendly and overall a f**king good time. We will be running it on August 13th in the WSU basement. See our socials below for more details and to secure your spot! All are welcome, you do not have to be a law student to come to our events. If you don’t believe me (as I am a bit biassed), read some of the feedback we got on our most recent events. Thenuja Caldera - “Always has the best spreads at their events.” Suhaa Afzer - “As first years, WILA has helped us find our place in law school (plus the office has a great couch for much needed power naps).” If you have any questions, please contact: wilapresidentwaikato@gmail.com WILA Facebook: WILA - University of Waikato’s Women in Law Association WILA Instagram: wilawaikato 28

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诗歌

POEM

MAHI TOI

rrent.

NEXUS

Promethean Cameron Mailer I make my own path as a Promethean – No one’s been here before. I Rebel with Creativity, hustling for any slice of originality. As happenstance draws my search to the cauldron of divine innovation I wade into an espo se or in nity swept away with its tempest

s c

Selecting from fruits of both Order and Chaos in clouds of stone and stars, Striding assertively between the borders of Ying and Yang, Taking jaded footsteps on ruby marble pavestones littered with ethereal blossoms, I reign supreme amongst the wisdom of my own spectral anomalies. Cavities coerced by the quiddity of time erupt spears of obsidian Like the wings of a phoenix bursting through my soul. They beam with opa e go ache colo rs aming shards o Burn into existence. I dare you.

my will.

Shape me like metal moulded by an Olympian smith, Tear away my predispositions like blades scraping away graphite and wod. Swathes of blod will sift between the ruby marble passing a Deluge on those gluttonous ghouls ever sated with the obsolete. Remake me with a Rip away every And banish any We create

glass orchestra crashing down from the sky, dense ounce of normality condensing my mind soul audacious enough to tell me otherwise. the things that destroy us. I am. I will.

and that's what I want - he t iridescent path forming and reforming between dreadful freedom and regrwth.o A Black Stallion amongst sheep, unafraid of the wolf's owl h , A phoenix, a Promethean.

NEXUS

AROTAKENGA

REVIEWS

点评

Fresh Meat Movie | Jak Rāta

Over the weekend, while scrolling through the endless abyss of films and TV shows, my Māmā and I came across a film starring the one and only Matua Tem. Not that a film with Temuera Morrison is unheard within the myriad of films the algorithm deems appropriate for my family and I – but it’s a surprise, because none of us had even heard of it. For those of you who haven’t seen it, go and watch it before I absolutely butcher it (that joke will make so much more sense once you’re seen it). The 2012 film, starring Temuera Morrison as the patriarchal head of the subject whānau, was written by Briar Grace-Smith (previously known for The Strength of Water and the more recent Cousins). The film is a quintessential Aotearoa black comedy, with the basic premise of a celebrity home cook, Margaret Crane, and her cannibal family. I fucking know, right?! What a damn set up, and with Matua Tem as a main character, it can’t go wrong. Basically, there’s a car of criminals that end up crashing into the wrong house as they’re on the run for blowing up a servo after breaking their mob boss out of a corrections van on the back highways of presumably Pōneke. I hope you’re all still with me, because it’s only just starting. Enter the closeted Catholic-school daughter, Rina (Hanna Tevita), as she’s returning home for a bit and is welcomed into the house. Mind you, she’s currently unaware of her family’s carnivorous habits formed while she was shipped off. In the first 3 minutes, you’re met with nudity as her sapphic habits are unveiled through some beautifully shot scenes but nonetheless awkward to watch with your Mum. Rina then

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99.9999% goes home, and her parents welcome her back as the plot is established. While this story is running, we’re introduced to the villains of the film with Gigi (Kate Elliott) as the head of the murderous posse. Gigi, Johnny (Jack Sergent-Shadbolt), Ritchie (Leand Macadaan) and Paulie Tan (Ralph Hilaga) literally crash into the Crane household. There’s your basic hostage situation, with the whānau being tied up. You realise the baddies aren’t that smart and have internal issues as the family easily overcomes them. The other Crane child, Glen (Kahn West) arrives as the cannibal plot starts to unravel. With his cricket coach in the boot as their next meal, Rina is faced with the reality that her family are blood-crazed Solomonites. The group, bar Gigi, are picked off one by one in elaborate traps and misfortunes. There’s meat hooks and dick biting as the film comes to a head. Rina and Gigi start to fall in love amongst the chaos, trumping out some of the concerns that Temuera Morrison is pulling off the role just a LITTLE too well. The climax of the film comes as Rina shoots the gas hob and explodes the house, burning everyone but her and Gigi as they dramatically crash through the window to safety. There’s a pre-credit scene where Rina has had a makeover and goes through the rubble and is grabbed by her presumed father. Now, the film isn’t a nail-biter, but it is so damn fun to watch. It’s predictable and funny right until the last moment, with some awkward but appropriate acting. I honestly think this should be a must-watch for anyone wanting to make their way through NZ cinema. 10/10, would watch with my mum again.

点评

Ms. Marvel Movie | Caitlin Walters-Freke

REVIEWS

AROTAKENGA

NEXUS

80%

With all the big Hollywood star’s contracts expiring, forcing Marvel Studios to retire their big-name heroes, they have decided to make way for the new generation of superheroes (and hopefully a young Avengers movie). Enter Ms. Marvel, who got her own series in June 2022. The show follows Kamala Khan, a superhero obsessed teen from Jersey City, who receives a bracelet from her grandmother which gives her superpowers and from there, a bunch of crazy antics ensue (don’t worry, I’m not going to spoil them for you). I have noticed a trend with Marvel TV shows. They tend to start with a bang and fall a bit flat as they go on, but then bring it home with an action-packed finale. This often makes way for bigger things to come on the silver screen. I loved seeing the diversity, it was a wonderful introduction to Pakistani culture which I wasn’t very familiar with before watching Ms. Marvel. The plot was interesting, and I particularly enjoyed watching the relationship Kamala had with her parents grow over the course of the series. Whilst the CG was a bit patchy, I loved the comic visuals and end credits art style. It made scenes where the characters were just texting more interesting. It was kind of reminiscent of Scott Pilgrim vs the World. Overall, Ms. Marvel was a good show, well worth a watch, but Moon Knight is still my favourite Marvel release of this year. Hopefully, She-Hulk can live up to the same hype.

MAYBE SOMEDAY IT’LL BE ALL OK - Clinton Kane Music | Tehana De Klerk

88%

I’ve never written a review about music, but there was no way I was gonna listen to this album and not say anything about it. When I tell you that my heart was a wreck for 24 minutes listening to these songs, I mean it. This dude sings with such passion, and those lyrics? Oh. My. FUCK. My personal favourites are ‘14’ and ‘GO TO HELL’. They just… hit different. The latter is definitely superior; the edge to his voice, the raspy rock moments, and the raw emotion you can hear in his voice is enough to make me ugly cry while watching sad AoT edits on TikTok. It’s the perfect post- break up revenge song (I’ve been single for years so that doesn’t apply to me heh, sucks to be you if it does), but prepare to be madly in your feelings while screaming out a huge “fuck you” to whoever hurt you. I’m kind of lying though, because every single song will probably hit hard. Like who gave this dude the right to make music that was so good yet so fucking sad? Special mention to the cover; walking away from a house that’s on fire? It’s giving classic badass hero moment as well as fuck-whoever-hurt-me-ihate-everybody (but in a good way).

NEXUS

WHAKANGAHAU

ENTERTAINMENT

娱乐

Don't quote me “I went to Hawaii with my family as I tend to do in July.” - Chris Luxon, man of the people

“i creamed”

Crush of the week

- At this point, do we just have a weekly Doja Cat section.

James Shaw

“I’m in New Zealand & everybody thinks I’m Kendrick Lamar. Fuck it I’m k dot now” - Jpegmafia, once again, proving that those white insta girlies really can’t see colour.

Honestly, we’re just thinking that perhaps he needs a little pick-me-up with all the shit happening at the moment and mans is just trying to be happy and live his life. You’re doing great and we love you bub x

“Feeling like a popstar! This is the link to the PRE-SAVE to my latest song on SPOTIFY!!!”

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Twitter Treading

Clickbait Moodboard

- The absolutely precious Suzy Cato stays a queen for the people.

娱乐

Caption This

ENTERTAINMENT

WHAKANGAHAU

NEXUS

Top 10 things you need to realise ain’t gonna happen

Colonialism alive and well

Nightmare blunt rotation

10.

Getting married - That’s an expense that shouldn’t even be on your radar right now, just focus on cleaning up your dishes and shit.

Owning a home - it’s kind of unrealistic to think that an unrealistic expectation like owning your own property is something you can even do these days. Wise up

Having Kids - Not so much something that won’t happen but rather something that shouldn’t

Being successful straight out of Uni Post grad vibes, looking for the perfect job, but wait there’s like 100 other grads vying for the same shit. Ah well, bunnings?

Being a body-building influencer - Is this still anyone's dream?

Becoming famous - with such a saturated market, why are you even worried about being famous?

Top 0.5% - Iykyk

Becoming a Millionaire - You’d be lucky if your course related costs last another 3 weeks of replacing your mates tokes.

Straight A’s - The saying, ‘c’s get degrees’, isn’t just a stereotype. Plus stereotypes have to start somewhere. Settle for a 55%

Just being happy - I just need a hug

Hey look, it's JPEGMafia

Mommy?

NEXUS

WHEAKO TAUIRA

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STUDENT EXPERIENCE

学生体验

SNAPPED 学生体验

SNAPPED

ATAPAKI

NEXUS

Keen for some free BurgerFuel? Simply snap 'nexusmag' the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. Collect from the SUB.

NEXUS

WĀHEKE

HOROSCOPES

星座运势

HOROSCOPES

WORDFIND

Name:

Created with TheTeachersCorner.net Word Search Mak

Aquarius: January 20 — February 18

Ahahaha, you’re broke and out of vape juice, and your flatmates quit. You should try to quit too… or you know, don’t.

Pisces: February 19 — March 20 Rihanna is a Pisces. Are you seriously going to give up when you share a sign with a successful, badass, and beautiful woman?

Aries: March 21 — April 19

You know those library books you have on your shelf? Yeah… you should check what date you need to give those back.

Taurus: April 20 — May 20 When was the last time you had a self-care day? You deserve one for all your hard work, so treat yourself to something good!

Gemini: May 21 — June 20

Your room is a mess, and it’s hard to find the energy to clean it up, but you’ll feel so much better when you do.

W W

Q U

Cancer: June 21 — July 22 You’re looking a little… pale? Sure, it’s been raining, but you could still open your curtains in your room. Get some fresh air.

Leo: July 21 — August 22 Bloody hell, stop pining and do something other than watching from a sad distance. If you’re not gonna make a move, then get over it!

Virgo: August 23 — September 22 You need to stop fucking around and own your shit. You messed up? Own it. You have a sick as idea? OWN IT.

Libra: September 23 — October 22 This is the perfect weather to re-enact the Twilight baseball scene. Chuck on Supermassive Black Hole and and find your inner Cullen/Hale.

Scorpio: October 23 — November 21 Instead of lying awake at three in the morning listening to saved TikTok sounds, you should just make them. Maybe you’ll get famous…?

CIELING GOVERMENT ENVIROMENT Some of the most common JEWELRY WIERD mispelleted words SEPERATE EMBARASS PRESANCE MISCHIEVIOUS DAQUIRI LIESURE AQUIT CIELING PRECEED PRIVELEGE COLLEGUE EXPERIANCE HUMEROUS PRIVELEGE GOVERMENTHUMEROUS INDEPENDANT INDEPENDANT WENSDAY ENVIROMENTMISTERIOUS LIBARY JEWELRY SACRILIGIOUS WENSDAY KERNEL FORIEGN MISTERIOUS DISASTEROUS WIERD DUMBELL ODDYSSEY HIPOCRITE NOTICABLE SEPERATE MINITURE LIBARY

EMBARASS PRESANCE MISCHIEVIOUS DAQUIRI LIESURE AQUIT COLLEGUE PRECEED EXPERIANCE

KERNEL SACRILIGIOUS FORIEGN DISASTEROUS DUMBELL ODDYSSEY HIPOCRITE MINITURE NOTICABLE

TRIVIA 1. In Greek mythology, Hephaestus was the god of what?

Sagittarius: November 22 — December 21

It’s hot, and then it’s cold, just like your temper. Seriously, maybe cut back and take time to yourself so you can calm tf down. 36

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LAST WEEKS ANSWER:

Capricorn: December 22 — January 19

2. What common object is designed to recall the bloodstained bandages of medieval times?

1. Architect 2. Regulus Arcturus Black

When was the last time you actually made your bed? Sure, you’re just gonna sleep it in later anyways, but a tidy room is nice.

Printing sudoku grids Printing sudoku grids

https://1sudoku.com/print-sudoku https://1sudoku.com/print-sudoku

益智游戏

PUZZLES

PANGA

NEXUS

SUDOKU 9 96 6 88

4 43 35 5

6 61 18 8

1 16 6

2 24 8

2 24 4

1 18 8

1 18 87 7

99 88

3 177

4 47 7

344

1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com

n° 16568 - Level n° 16568 - Level Easy Easy

Easy

33 11

5 1

22 55

98 87 72 2

4 8

7 3

2 3

n° 219790 - Level Medium 219790 - Level Medium n°n° 318279 - Level Hard

Kinda Easy

1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com

2 7

1 514

5 56 6

222

8 981

877

8 83 3

4 49

6 62 23 3

5 53 3

24 4 8 826

1sudoku.com

Bruh

n° 4757 - Level Expert

CODE CRACKER Page 1/1 - Check the solutions, print more sudoku puzzles for free and play online at: https://1sudoku.com/print-sudoku

66 4 41 1

8 85 5

3 31 1 9 97 7

2 29 91 15 54 4 44

3 36 6

11 66 44

8 87 7

9 91 1

Code Cracker Answers

11 33

7 74 4 11

22 55

Phrase

2 26 6 3 39 9

1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com

n° 318279 - Level n° 318279 - Level Hard Hard

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n° 4757 - Level Expert n° 4757 - Level Expert

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