NEXUS
HINENGARO
WHELMED
健康
L'appel du vide Dave Snell Dedicated to Karl, Associate of Words. I’m not a fan of the French language. I think I’ve watched too many movies with French phrases because when I say any French words, I sound like such a rube. But I will admit that the French language does make weird shit sound romantic. Like l'appel du vide – which means staring into the void. This phrase is used to describe that sudden moment where your brain almost compels you to do something ridiculously dangerous, but you resist because you don’t want to die and you have impulse control. Let me give you some examples… As a middle-aged Pākehā man, and a lot of us do this for some reason, I’m often up on our roof. Almost every time I’m up on our roof, I have this sudden urge to jump off. I know that I will break both of my fragile, Mr Glass legs, so I don’t. However, I still have this urge to. Another example is when I pass a big truck on an overtaking lane, I have this urge to swerve into the wheels. My brain thinks “What would happen if I did that? Would I go spinning off, or would I get crunched? What would the physics of that be like?” Another personal example is when I’m stopped at a roundabout, a car comes around and I think “I don’t know this person, but if I drive out in front of them, we’ll then be connected through this experience”. Now fortunately, for some reason, my little logic brain says “No Dave don’t jump off the roof you’d get fucked up”, or “Think of the truck driver’s kids”, or “That’s not how you meet new people Dave”, and that stops that thought from turning into action.
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But… hopefully…we all get those weird urges to do the weirdest inappropriate dangerous shit. One of my favourite Jim Carrey lines, from one of his old stand-ups, talked about how we’re only one moment away from pure insanity. One moment we’re looking in the mirror, the next we could be wildly slashing our tongue with a razor. Apparently, half of us have this feeling and maybe this is why the Final Destination movies were so weirdly popular. Some psychologist in Florida, probably not the person who treats “Florida Man”, thinks it's because your brain sends you a message that the situation is unsafe, you assess the situation, and then think “I’m not in danger. Why was I afraid? I must’ve actually wanted to jump”. Like some revisionist safety video. According to this theory, your brain is basically saying “Oh shame – you wuss!” and you reply by saying “No way, I’m a badass motherfucker who was fully going to Evil Knievel this shit”. To be honest I’d much rather think it’s the latter. That French phrase, video apple or whatever, is really just a cover for how incredibly daring my fellow daredevils’ lives, and my own life, is. Standing there wanting to jump off rooves, drive into trucks, or slash my tongue with a razor. Brains do weird things. Let's not start writing angsty teenage poetry about voids. Seriously, I'm not off my meds this time. Sometimes when you stare off the roof, the roof stares back.
