Hākinakina

NEXUS

HĀKINAKINA 运动 BEST & WORST

Best: The Norwegian Cyborg

Hovering just north-east of the UK sits a secret laboratory with walls covered in jars of every variety, their labels translate from Norwegian to ‘pace’ and ‘physicality’. Erling Haaland was created in this lab to break the English Premier League, and so far he’s doing exactly that. Joining an already impressive Manchester City roster, the 22-year old striker is on pace to obliterate goal scoring records, having tallied 14 in just eight league games.

Worst: Draymond Green’s Friendly Fire

Insufferable macho energy mutating into physical violence is nothing new in sport, but it’s a shade rarer when it happens between teammates and captured on video. Draymond Green’s flying sucker punch on Jordan Poole during a Golden State Warriors team practice is yet another smudge on an already blotchy career. The 11-year veteran boats a CV packed full of trash talking and spastic body flails that always seem to collide with his opponent’s testicles.

Best: Gold Rush for Andrews

The University of Waikato’s own Ellesse Andrews emerged as a true cycling sensation following a four-medal haul at New Zealand’s best Commonwealth Games to date. Adding to a brilliant Olympic debut last year, Andrews dominated the track cycling field with three golds and a silver. An unsurprising result for someone born to be on two wheels with mum Angela an international mountain biker and dad Jon a bronze medal cyclist at the 1990 games.

Worst: Chess Cheating Scandal

19 year-old Hans Niemann set the world of chess on fire following a run-in with reigning world champ Magnus Carlsen in which Carlsen subtly then not so subtly suggested Niemann cheated. The fallout included a comprehensive and damning chess.com investigation and a reddit conspiracy theory suggesting vibrating anal beads linked to a super computer as Niemann’s method of cheating.

& WORST OF SPORTS

Best: Chris the Double Ironman

American Chris Nikic, the first person with Down Syndrome to finish an ironman-distance triathlon, recently repeated the feat, this time at the World Championships, another historic first. Growing up with a love for basketball and golf, Nikic has always ignored perceived limitations and shown a true dedication to his craft, training 3-8 hours a day in the lead up to the 226-kilometre race which he completed on his 23rd birthday.

Worst: Serena says Goodbye

The greatest player in the history of women’s tennis, Serena Williams, took her final bow after a dominating 27-year career. Credited with paving the way for a new generation of female players, Williams not only racked up a staggering 23 Grand Slams and four Olympic gold medals, she also stood as a true role model to everyone in her orbit. An unrelenting mix of athleticism and determination, her impact on the game will be felt long after her retirement.

Best: Super Rugby Aupiki

2022 featured the inaugural season of Super Rugby Aupiki, a competition boasting the very best of women’s rugby and designed as a stepping stone between NZ competitions, aptly named Aupiki meaning ‘the ascent to the upper most realm’. Despite a number of Covid related interruptions the season finished with a dominant final and will return in 2023 with a longer schedule and first-time female head coaches Victoria Grant (Hurricanes Poua) and Crystal Kaua (Chiefs Manawa).

Worst: The Putrid Darcy Swain Cleanout

It’s hard enough for rugby players north of 100kgs to keep their knees intact without other big bodies launching at them from awkward angles. One such grubby moment occurred in a Bledisloe Cup game that will likely feature in Australia’s ‘worst of sport’ list for an altogether different reason. It took Wallabies’ Darcy Swain just seconds to side-line All Blacks midfielder Quinn Tupaea for months in an awful, mindless cleanout.

BEST MOVIES

Tehana De Klerk

05

The Batman - The story, character development, cinematography, and realism were too good to simply say you don’t like Robert Pattinson. It really shed new light on the character of Batman, and it showed a true representation of a crime-ridden Gotham City.

Hustle - Who doesn’t love Adam Sandler? And in a serious movie? Sports films can be so underwhelming, but I assure you, this was not. At least that’s what I was told, heh. If you love basketball and need a good film, here you go.

03

Jurassic World: Dominion

- People really dislike this movie, and I get why it isn’t all that grand, but I fucking loved it. The OG trilogy remains unrivalled, but this just made my heart smile. It really wrapped up the Jurassic World trilogy, and we got to see Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler, and Ian Malcolm Elvis - Can confirm that you will be a blushing mess during this film. Truly good acting and cinema. I’m still blushing. My mum was in love with Elvis as a kid (she didn’t know he was already… ya know) and she cried watching this- it’s that good.

02

Jujutsu Kaisen 0 - Don’t tell me this came out in December 2021 (did it? I feel like Google is lying to me) because I don’t care. The fight scenes were fucking amazing. The animation and the voice acting, both sub and dub, were too. There were a shitload of flashbacks though, but eh. Satoru Gojo, hand in marriage please?.

01

Thor: Love and Thunder - Marvel, what the fuck? You’ve actually fallen off the edge. Fuck you. Taika Waititi really made a romcom set postEndgame and expected us to enjoy it. With that cast, it could’ve been great, but it wasn’t. Christian Bale’s back must hurt from carrying this film.

04

After Ever Happy - I fucking hate these movies. They are dogshit, okay? Wake up to reality and hop off of Hardin Scott’s dick. It’s like a really bad mix of teen stupidity and angst, college life, and 50 Shades of Grey. Also, wasn’t it originally a Harry Styles fanfiction?

WORST MOVIES

Tehana De Klerk

Morbius - Lol, it’s Morbin time.

05

02

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness - How you go from one of the best MCU films to one of the worst I don’t know. Is there an award for that? I miss the good ol’ days. This sequel may have redeemable qualities, but it really fucked up Scarlet Witch’s character. The acting was class though so… but no! It was a shit movie.

03

Senior Year - Rebel Wilson was great in Pitch Perfect, but she’s not actually that funny. Case closed.