Nexus 2016 Issue 22 by Nexus Magazine

N.22 / V.48

Earn more when you enter the workforce Stand out from the crowd in today’s cluttered job market Pursue what you’re passionate about in more depth Contribute to the world’s knowledge Work alongside world-leading researchers Get an internationallyrecognised qualification Masters scholarships worth up to $15,000 Doctoral scholarships worth up to $85,000 Access the latest technologies and high-end equipment Make invaluable professional connections Take charge of your future success. Come along to our postgraduate information session to find out everything you need to know. DATE: Tuesday 4 October TIME: 5pm – 7.30pm VENUE: The Verandah Café, Hamilton Lake Register at waikato.ac.nz/go/info

Clarence Street 7am – 10pm, 7 days a week. Phone (07) 839-4056

Sanitarium Weetbix 750g

Flemings Chewy Bars 6pk – 3 for

Radox Body Wash 1 Litre

Just Juice Bubbles 1.25 Litre

Prices valid until Sunday 2 October 2016. Trade not supplied. Valid at PAK’nSAVE Clarence Street only.

THIS PRICE IS ON THE DOWN LOW

FEATURES 18 Suckcess Jessica Roy

20 New Zealand's Greatest Sporting Underdogs Freddy Walker

21 Successful Waikato Grads Interviews by Brittany Rose, Olivia Paris & Lyam Buchanan

NEWS & OPINION

ARTS & CULTURE

FUN & GAMES

Lettuce

Covered

Entertainment

Uni News

Arts

Reviews

Nexus News

Auteur

Snapped

Sports

Your Space

Blind Date

CARE

Head Chef

Puzzles

COLUMNS

ON THE COVER TAYLA DEE KELLY

That Time I...

Accidentally Became a Dealer

Modern Day Mixtape

Fanboi

The I.T. Guy

Apps for the Disorganised

Just the Tip

Guide to Dublin

Hari Korero

Te Mana o Te PĹ?ti

YWRC

Women in the Workplace

EDITOR Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz DESIGN Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan

EDITORIAL IF YOU’RE READING THIS, IT’S NOT TOO LATE BRONWYN LAUNDRY

james@nexusmag.co.nz CONTRIBUTORS Grayson Maslin Freddy Walker Sarah Hyde Jared Wooldridge

I bet you don’t hear too often that you’re doing a fucking great job. You probably get weighed down by your crippling debt, or incessant jokes from some middle aged assholes (who didn’t pay a cent for uni) about how your degree won’t get you a job, you shouldn’t be studying that, the American Dream is dead, life is meaningless, sometimes I cry in the shower, wank, wank, wank. It can really suck the big kumara dealing with expectations, hangovers and StudyLink.

Emma Nygard Onyx Lily Peter Dornauf Dr. Richard Swainson Jessica Roy Megan Proctor

Well guess what, you little shit? I believe in you. You’re doing a damn fine job. Whatever you’re

Andrew Howard

doing. Aunty Bron is here to make you feel good about yourself. Not in that way. Ew.

Monique Corkill

I am studying a Bachelor of Arts (or as my mother likes to call it, a Bugger All). And guess what? I love that shit. I’d shout it from the rooftops. Arts are what I’ve loved my whole life, and being able to study what genuinely interests me? It’s the tits. I do a fucking paper on comedy. How ‘bout it.

Matthew Rae Nina Fox Mel Martin Hana-Te Kowhai Ohia

I don’t know what the future holds, I could be bitten by a radioactive duck from the uni

ADVERTISING

lake tomorrow and become Waikato’s answer to Spiderman. The choker necklaces I love to

advertising@nexusmag.co.nz

wear could get caught on something and ironically choke me to death. Whatever. The huge student loan I have for my relatively pointless degree? Future Bron’s problem. She’ll deal with it somehow. Possibly through finding a Sugar Daddy or joining the 27 Club. Call me a raving hippie, but I don’t think success should be measured entirely by how lucrative your career options are. Success, by its very definition, is the “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose”. Whether your aim for your time at uni is to become a qualified lawyer, or just to indulge in as much debauchery as humanly possible. You. Are. A. Success.

ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine OFFICES Ground Floor, Student Union Building

With that lovey dovey shit out of the way… You’ve successfully (ayyyy) made it this far in

Gate One, University of Waikato

the year to be reading the Success Issue. In the way of features we’ve got alumni interviews

Knighton Road, Hamilton

(page 21) so you can rest assured that there are people in the world who graduated from Waikato and managed to secure employment. If you fancy yourself a bit of a rogue, we’ve got success stories from underdogs who made it big on page 20 (and no, none of them are ‘Insta famous’). And finally, on page 18, Jessica Roy ponders the ever topical question, what is success? So what are you still doing here? Get reading. xoxo Laundry Lady ISSUE 22 SUCCESS 26 SEPTEMBER 2016

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

LIBRARY LURGY

FRENCHBOOK

SNEEZY

COMPLETE RANDOM

Holy shit, I am so sorry fellow library goers! I felt awful sitting in the

Bonjour, De passage à Paris, (manifestation concernant la Coparentalité,

peaceful study area sniffling away as my horrible flu tore down my

placements abusifs.....) je souhaite vous remettre deux livres que j'ai

immune system, cell by cell. I know, I should go home and watch lectures

écrits : Espoir aux Frontières de l'Irréparable traitant des abus sexuels des

online but I would get sidetracked by Netflix or some shit (Orphan Black

enfants, et des dysfonctionnements de la justice et des services sociaux

is Orsome). So sorry that I disturbed everyone's peace. I had taken

ainsi que "Rafles d'enfants en 2015" sur le sujets des placements abusifs,

precautions and used tissues and sanitizer as to not infect people but

ces deux livres sont riches en témoignages.

again, terribly sorry for the annoying sneezing, sniffling and coughing :(

Mon tel : 06 86 98 59 38

Aw, what a sweetheart! Don’t apologise for being sick and working hard. You’re paying a lot of money to come to class and have access to

Cordialement Sylvie

the facilities here, make the most of it. PS: Orphan Black is an excellent

This is a 100% legitimate message sent to the Nexus Facebook page.

choice. Brittany

Like. What is my job? Brittany

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

PARKING PROBLEMS

RETAIL THERAPIST

INFORMED

I have never related to an article more than the Confessions of an Online

TWICE NOW THEY HAVE BUILT LAW SCHOOLS ON PERFECTLY GOOD

Shopaholic in the last issue.

CARPARKS.

We’re all in this together <3 I will pray for you to find a generous

I vote for keying the law schools then. Brittany

benefactor to support your addiction. Bron

BLIND DATE REQUEST

REHAB ME

VERGEN MARY

DURRY MUNCHER Hey nexus, We have a new flatmate and he is decidedly vergin and the Nexus you killed it last week with the Rehabilitation Station profiles. Durry Muncher was fire.

boys and I want to nominate him for a wee blind date, get back to us. Pro tip for getting a Blind Date — email editor@nexusmag.co.nz and

Breathe deep, breathe clear, five more years and I won’t be here.

DON’T TRY TO SET SOMEONE ELSE UP. I will not complicate my

Crispy Chakras Chris

life further by setting up a Blind Date through a third party without contact details. Brittany

NATIONAL? MORE LIKE ‘NAH’TIONAL UNSURPRISED Student debt does suck and it's made even worse by National not even

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the

acknowledging the problem while making shit harder. I’m not even

writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content

surprised they didn’t answer the question about how to address the

or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent

‘significant burden of student loan’. I am disappointed though.

to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of

All we can do is ask the questions. Unfortunately it’s unethical to tie

intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to

MPs to chairs and torture them into saying they’ll make study more

publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person,

affordable and accessible. Brittany

or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

N.22 / V.48

SUCCESS

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Brendan Madley (pictured), Steffen Van Lieshout, Rose Swears, Anthony

ONYA

BEATING THE BIG GUNS

Croymans, Avish Ram, Anthony Rawiri and David O'neil were the university champions at KPMG’s ‘Beat the Partners’ event. HIKING THE HIMALAYAS (L-R) Hillary scholars Fai Tongdethsri, Codi Merito, Rachel

RESEARCH IN THE US

Twyman and Ellie McCleery are heading to Nepal next year as

PhD student Desi Rodriguez-Lonebear

part of the Step Higher Awards.

has received a Health Policy Research Scholar Fellowship worth $120,000 to cover her research in indigenous demography in the US.

EUREKA! Engineering student Shalini Gularia won second place at the Sir Paul Callaghan BADMINTON IN DENMARK

Eureka! Awards for her ideas on turning

Law student and Hillary scholar Vincent Harris will spend five

wastewater into high-quality fertiliser.

months in Denmark playing badminton against some of the best. Photo credit: Waikato Badminton Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email studentnews@waikato.ac.nz.

BE YOUR OWN BOSS THIS SUMMER

STEP IT UP WITH POSTGRAD

The B Semester exam timetable is now

Do you have an idea for a business or

We’ve got lots of postgraduate study

available at timetable.waikato.ac.nz/

project you want to get off the ground?

options and scholarships available to help

exams. If you need to change your exam

Make it happen with the $5000 Start-Up

you get ahead. Find out more on Tuesday

time or location, applications for special

Waikato scholarship programme. Visit

4 October, 5pm-7.30pm at the Verandah

arrangements close Friday 30 September.

waikato.ac.nz/go/start-up for details.

Café, Hamilton Lake.

If you have a learning or physical disability

Applications close 7 October.

Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/info to register.

TIME TO VOTE

MAKE YOUR SUMMER COUNT

Ready for this year’s local elections? Now’s

Want to fast-track your degree, catch up or

the time to choose who will lead and

try something new? Summer school is the

represent your community. Check your

way to do it. Applications for T Semester

mailbox for voting papers.

(7 Nov – 18 Dec) close 4 November.

Visit myhcc.nz/canidates for candidate

Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/summerschool for

information. Elections take place 8

more details.

and need alternative exam arrangements, contact Disability Support Services at disability@waikato.ac.nz by 30 September. For other help, email exams@ waikato.ac.nz or call 07 838 4466 ext 8018.

LIBRARY OPEN LONGER

The Library is now open longer at weekends, from 8am-7pm on Fridays and 8am-6pm on Saturdays and Sundays. For more details, visit waikato.ac.nz/library

October.

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

EXAM TIMETABLE IS OUT

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

What does affordable housing mean for students? Provide free housing for students, but I suspect I will not get this past my 12 council colleagues. As the self-appointed minister of sports how do students play into your vision of Hamilton as a student city? You call me self appointed Minister of Sport. Wrong! I was elected by Council to the role. The University is actively involved in encouraging Campus Sport. Many of your students are in the high performance category and are supported nationally with Prime Minister Scholarships. The University has recently developed a Sports Science programme. We love students in Hamilton. You spend a lot of money and contribute a large economic benefit over and above your study costs. Geoff Taylor recently said a third of the council staff had left in the last six years (and that is before Gary Mallett has been elected) what can you do to change the culture?

MAYORAL CANDIDATE ROB PASCOE: LIKES GOOD WINE JAMES RAFFAN

I will talk to the university administration and find out how they do it. It’s been hard to make stupid jokes in this interview because all we have is that you are old, and you look like (and we have no way of backing this up) you may have been on Neighbours or Home and Away at some point. Do you think the general indifference to you as neither polarising nor inspiring is an effective election strategy?

Thank you for taking the time out of your schedule of baby kissing, hand

Very funny! I have cut $50million off city debt, and brought the city back to

shaking and senior citizen placating to do a quick interview with student

operating surplus ahead of schedule. I call that inspiring.

media. To prepare for this interview the Nexus interns read through all your campaign material and your website and they were really impressed. I mean

Are you actually running for Mayor or is that just what the people in the home

most of their great grandfathers can barely use a computer let alone have a

are telling you to get you to take your pills?

whole website.

You are right. I am taking pills (drugs!) I had a serious fall recently rupturing the

Firstly, an apology for not studying at the University of Waikato. I must admit

tendons in my knee, three days in hospital and then surgery. My surgeon banned

to having attended and gained a Commerce degree from the University of

me from driving throughout the election campaign.

Auckland….and my only excuse is that Waikato had not opened its Management School when I left Hamilton Boys’ High School. Since returning to Hamilton

Recently NZUSA put together a Student City Charter. We have come up with

in 1973 I have maintained close contact over many years with the University

some of our own can you run us through your positions on some of the issues

of Waikato participating in research projects, and assisting students in their

raised point by point:

research papers. In 2012 I was a visiting scholar lecturing senior undergraduate

Cheaper transport options for students? Where have you been? Cheaper

students in accounting, and have since returned to present guest lectures.

transport is now available to students

No one is denying that you would be a “Safe pair of hands” as Mayor but at your age hands are the last things to go, do you have the stomach? I have the stomach to make hard decisions.

The provision of light rail services to allow students from Huntly, Te Awamutu, Tokoroa and other places access to study options? Excellent point. I am supportive of VC Quigley to provide bus transport for students travelling from Tokoroa and understand he is considering other options. This is a good role for the university to undertake.

What about the liver, kidneys etc.? There is always some risk when one is a connoisseur of fine wines. It is possible

A rental warrant of fitness including heating? Agree. Understand central

I may have taken some risks with the liver and kidneys. But who cares, I love

government has legislation underway to provide for this.

good wine.

A higher minimum wage? (Technically not a local council issue but indulge

Seriously though, apart from memories of how to fly a Sopwith Camel what do you have that other mayoral candidates don’t? None of the other candidates has been a partner of Pricewaterhouse Coopers.

us) Will not indulge you and answer question that belongs to central government. Hamilton City Council pays market rates. Recycling of pizza boxes? My solution is to manufacture pizza boxes with spices and other delicious tastes. When students have finished their pizza, they butter

One of your rivals Andrew King once famously said he had a big brain, you

the box and toast it in the oven. Delicious!

know what they say… big brain; unsafe pair of hands, are these really the best

Permanent bottle bins in student areas? Surprised to read that students are still

and brightest Hamilton can offer?

drinking given the high costs of study these days.

Anyone can stand for Mayor of Hamilton and they do. My background in finance is critical for the ongoing success of the city when population growth is putting pressure on infrastructure.

N.22 / V.48

SUCCESS

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

SIDEBAR QUICK QUESTIONS

To finish off we thought we would ask you some short answer questions to make you seem more human… What was the last film you watched? The Last Station What was the last gig / concert you attended? Swing into Spring NZSO and Roger Fox Big band What is the most embarrassing thing in your wardrobe? My Speedos What book could you read over and over again? Enron — the Smartest Guys in the Room What is the stupidest thing you've ever done on a bet or

SPORTS OPINION WINNERS AND LOSERS OF THE EARLY SEASON NFL TOM COLLOPY

dare? Competing in a charity race in my speedos… last year And for your final question, sell Hamilton under your leadership to me as though it was a used car on your lot?

If you’ve never dabbled in the excitement of the National Football League then I

Woke up in a haze after three years and found I had

highly recommend you sit your ass down on a Monday morning and watch NFL

graduated

Redzone. Every touchdown from every Sunday afternoon game with no adverts — what more can you ask for? I have been an avid follower of the NFL since 2014 and

And finally, since this is actually the last of these

although I’m still a student of the game I like to think I know a bit. I’m going to use

interviews I intend to do with Mayoral candidates…

a concept made famous by NFL.com and look at two winners and one loser from

You genuinely seem like a nice guy so here is your one real opportunity (in one sentence per candidate) to tell us why we shouldn’t vote for each of these candidates:

the first two weeks of the regular season. WINNER Stefon Diggs has been an absolute stud for the Vikings over the first two games

Chris Simpson: Claims to be an economist but has failed to

of their season. Against the Packers he was phenomenal hauling in nine passes

provide evidence.

for 182 yards and a touchdown. What amazed me the most was his elusiveness,

Paula Southgate: 15 years of “bugs and slugs”. Andrew King: Hasn’t yet found the truth. James Casson: Needs Te Reo instruction.

managing to make a lot of yards after receptions by avoiding tackles or running great routes which left him open with space in front of him. He also made a couple of very nice catches in good coverage. If this guy is still available in your fantasy league pick him up as he is going to be a pivotal member of the Viking offense!

Jack Gielen: Would you seriously vote for someone

LOSER

wearing a white suit and jandals?

Kirk Cousins finished the end of last season very well leading the Redskins to a

Arshad Chatha: Has the direct experience of being an “insider”.

NFC East title and the Wild Card playoff game in which they lost to the Green Bay Packers. After the way he has started this season I just don’t know if the Redskins can achieve the same feat. There’s no doubt he’s put up some good numbers averaging 347 yards at a 65% completion rate. The fact is that he is not getting it done when it matters. He has thrown just one TD in two games as well as three interceptions. On third down the Redskins have a 35% conversion rate in the Red Zone they are converting at 29%. Now I know this isn’t all on Kirk but he has made several bad throws over the two games especially in the Red Zone and if that continues to happen the Redskins aren’t going to win football games. WINNER Matt Forte has been Mr Consistent in his nine years in the league but boy has he started this season with a bang. The former Chicago Bear has been immense for the Jets with 264 yards from scrimmage and three touchdowns in the first two weeks. What makes Forte so valuable is that he is just as effective receiving the ball as he is carrying the ball from the backfield making his a constant threat on offense. Moving forward Forte will continue to be an important piece in the Jets’ offense and continue to produce great numbers. 5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS FUCKIN’ FLUNKIN’

HOW THE FACULTIES STACK UP Qualification Completion Rate (Enrolled between 2005 and 2010)

BRITTANY ROSE

Students with First Faculty

Students

a completions in the Faculty

In our Science Issue, Blatantly Biological Bernard (a sad science student) pointed out just how over it some students are. He reckons 50% of students just flunk science. We called bullshit because it sounded

Faculty Level by %

Faculty of Education

6,444

4,596

71%

Faculty of Management

7,582

4,916

65%

2,577

1,565

61%

5,529

3,015

55%

1,433

743

52%

1,778

877

49%

807

273

34%

high, so, being the curious magazine we are, we spoke to someone who knows a lot about pass rates and enrollments — a spokesperson in

Faculty of Science and

cahoots with the ‘Data People’ at the Uni. They gave us a lotta data. In

Engineering

conclusion, students don’t enroll, study or graduate in a way that makes for neat statistical analysis.

Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences

Bernard was wrong. 50% of Science students do not drop out. Looking

Faculty of Computing and

specifically at Faculty of Science and Engineering 61% of those who

Mathematical Sciences

enrolled at some point between 2005 and 2010 have since completed their qualification. That means the dropout rate is actually closer to 39% in the long term. It appears Bernard was utilising hyperbole for dramatic effect. University wide, what percentage of students are retained from initial enrollment through to graduation?

Faculty of Law School of Maori and Pacific Development

“‘Qualification Completion Rate' is a very lagging indicator, students

One thing is clear: Education students are fuckin’ nerds with follow through…

frequently take five years or more to complete a three year degree.

or 71% of them are. Also, we’d like to note that Law students are almost where

Relevant government indicators use six years as the lag-time for degree

they belong in a hierarchy of subjects — that being the very bottom. Quick holla

and higher level programmes. To cater for this lag-time, we have looked

to all the science kids, keep powering through. It’s also nice to know that out of

at those students that commenced with the University for the first time

everyone from Tauranga at least 65% of them complete their degrees.

between 2005 and 2010.” “Between 2005 and 2010, 24,440 students commenced a qualification for the first time at the University in formal degree level programmes and higher. Of these, 15,592 students (64%) have gone on to complete a qualification at the University. They may not have completed the qualification that they first started.” Worth noting is this lag factor. Unlike a lagging internet connection, the idea of lagging uni completion is comforting. If you decide not to re-enrol after first year you’re not a failure — just come back later do the same shit,

Students that enrol in a different Faculty (2005 onwards) Proportion of students (broken down by their first faculty) that subsequently enrol in a different faculty. First Faculty

Proportion that change Faculty

Faculty of Education

5.1%

Faculty of Management

5.5%

or do something else. Fuck it, yolo. Faculty of Science and Engineering HERE’S SOME NUMBERS!

Faculty of Arts and Social

In 2015 of 8,528 students enrolling in an undergraduate

Sciences

qualification, 7,842 people enrolled in a Bachelor’s Degree. That’s something%

Faculty of Computing and Mathematical Sciences

10.4%

11.5%

12.8%

In 2006 the most lol number of students enrolled in a Postgraduate Diploma — 696 (lol 69 lol) 2011 had the highest number of Doctor of Philosophy completions at 98

Faculty of Law School of Maori and Pacific Development

15.9% 20.7%

In 2013, precisely 0 people completed any undergraduate certificate of any kind. What a year. Every year in 2006-2015 has seen an average of and 1,408 postgraduate study completions.

We all know that everyone that does Management is only doing what their parents want. Therefore they’re probably not going anywhere purely out of fear. Well, either that or they’re so uncreative that they listen to the NZ Top 40 and don’t know how to make their own decisions. Is anyone surprised that the Faculty

16,428 people have left University of Waikato with an

of Arts and SMPD have the biggest change in enrollment? I guess the fear of

undergraduate qualification since 2006.

realising your qualification isn’t worth anything is enough to push you towards legitimate academia.

N.22 / V.48

SUCCESS

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEWS TEACHER UNIONS CALL FOR BETTER FUNDING

However, van Oosten said the biggest cost is to the kids.

GRAYSON MASLIN

government is that bulk funding would take schooling in the wrong direction."

"More casualised staff means children's learning relationships are put at risk. "The clear message from ECE teachers to their colleagues in schools and to

NZEI representative Jan Tinetti said a better funding model is necessary to help the most disadvantaged children get a better education in school. A recent government proposal to profoundly change how the education system

She said in the latest budget only $10.5 million was set aside to target the

is funded has been rejected by the country’s two major education unions, PPTA

150,000 most at risk children.

and NZEI Te Riu Roa. As a result, the PPTA and NZEI Te Riu Roa staged 50 meetings nation-wide between September 5-16.

"That comes to less than $2 a week per child ... less than a packet of chewing gum a day to each targeted child ... about a sandwich a week." Hekia Parata has previously stated that she's "disappointed and somewhat

These meetings have included 60,000 union members discussing the

surprised" by the meetings that have taken place given "the advisory committee

controversial bulk funding proposal that teachers believe will cause fewer

has been engaged in an open and inclusive process since May".

teachers and bigger class sizes. However, Education Minister Hekia Parata believes the unions are wrong and slammed the meetings as disruptive to parents.

Both unions have representatives on the advisory committee and Parata said most of what the unions were claiming was wrong. "I'd be very concerned if parents think this is an accurate reflection of what's

The unions are calling for better funding, not bulk funding.

being discussed."

NZEI field officer Maxine van Oosten said the government has not adjusted early

Parata criticised all union meetings and said they had been a "disruption" and an

childhood education funding since 2009.

inconvenience to parents as they were held during school hours.

This has reduced the quality of ECE by only funding up to 80 per cent of qualified

All schools in the Waikato were closed during the meeting and were opened

teachers, she said, meaning services that employ only qualified teachers don’t

again after 11am.

get fully funded to pay for them. "There is less job security and they use casuals and unqualified staff to help

Parents were notified in advance and staff members stayed at schools to supervise children that couldn't stay home.

balance the budget."

JASE & PJ

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NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

Meet the Candidates

Anyone can vote for one Vice-President and up to eight Directors in the Elections for the 2017 WSU Board of Directors. Look out for more voting info on the WSU Facebook page.

Kaelyn Kingi

Shaun Letcher

Nominee for Vice-President and Director

I don’t run very often but when I do, it’s to be the next

Hey there, For those of you that don’t know me I’m

Waikato Students’ Union Vice President. Hi, my name is

Shaun, I’m in my fourth year at uni studying towards a

Kaelyn Kingi and I am a director on the WSU’s Executive

pol sci and law conjoint. I have already been a director

Board of Directors. Have you ever heard of a ‘lollipop moment’? For those who

for the WSU and worked to increase library hours, get unlimited internet,

haven’t, a lollipop moment is where you do something small for someone and it

and generally try to improve the uni experience for all. I’d like to take that

makes a big difference. What if I told you that by giving you a lollipop, I could

further though, some say to do that we need to make Waikato great again,

transform your university experience? How? Well, for the past year I have been

but building a wall between us and Auckland isn’t the way to do it. What we

helping the WSU team design a New Vision for Campus, where student issues are

need its better Communication between the WSU and students, Consistency

turned into student dreams. Imagine the University of Waikato having all of the

in our decisions and actions, and to work towards being a better Community

services that you want: a student bar, cheaper food, a pop-up retailer and all sorts!

on campus.

Come and grab a lollipop and I can help make your campus vision come true!

I’d like to start working towards these ideals immediately, and I’ll start by

Vote Kaelyn Kingi for your next WSU Vice-President!

talking to you, the students. Feel free to add me on FB, or to talk with me

#KaelynKingi4VP #WaikatoStudentsUnion

on campus.

Cassidy Temese Nominee for Vice-President and Director Te Ranga Ngaku Inc My name is Cassidy Temese, and I am your best candidate

Carl Brandt Nominee for Vice-President I’m Carl, a fourth year law and business student who can usually be spotted procrastinating somewhere on

for WSU Vice President 2017. I’m a rural Māori boy from Te

Level Four of the library. I’m throwing my name in the

Awamutu, who decided to leave the farm and pursue a Management Degree,

hat exclusively for Vice President this year, and reckon I’m a pretty solid bet

Majoring in Finance and Reo Māori.

if you’re looking for somewhere to place your vote.

I am an approachable and active leader within the university through the

I'm a big believer in the strategic plan developed by the current WSU

following positions: Co-Chairman of Te Ranga Ngaku Inc. (Māori Management

committee under the watchful eyes of Indula and William. In order for these

Student Assn), representing the student perspective on the Management Student

awesome ideas (including an on-campus bar!) to come into fruition, it'll be

Experience Committee and Management Faculty Board, I am also the Management

of extreme importance that the board remains strong in 2017. I worked on

Faculty Student Representative on the University Academic Board. I uphold high

the executive board of the Waikato University Law Students Association in

ethical values, and am passionate about advocating the student voice. I believe the

bringing the best year yet to law students in 2016, have real world experience

position of Vice President provide the perfect platform to do so, with the scope of

as a law clerk at one of Waikato's largest commercial law firms, and have

supporting the entire university student population.

been involved in a number of small business initiatives. WSU needs a VP who

If you want the best student experience at Waikato Uni, vote Cassidy for VP 2017!

Connor Schween Nominee for Vice-President and Director “Don’t throw your vote away, vote for Connor today!”

can get shit done. I've got the skills and commitment to make it happen.

Sianiti Bulisala Nominee for Vice-President and Director Bula Vinaka! My name is Sianiti (Sia) Bulisala and I am running as a candidate for the WSU 2017

Hello! WSU is undergoing substantial changes in the next

Vice President position. Three years ago, I left the

few years, with the new vision for campus. You probably

confinements of my home to set off on my university journey in a place

have not read the little yellow book which talks all about it, but I have! And I believe

where I knew no one. The place I chose was Waikato University, and that is

a strong leadership team is required to make this new vision come true and make

one decision, I will not regret. This university continues to be an environment

changes that will improve Waikato’s experiences for students like you and me. I

where opportunities to meet new people and get involved in new things

have been in many leadership roles both throughout my High school years which

collide to provide an unforgettable student experience, that could only get

include Head student, BOT, Sport Captain and 21 class reps at university so far.

better from here. My experience as RA and SRA at the halls along with being

Being part of WSU is a great opportunity and I would love to represent you as I

a part of a few student run clubs has provided with the tools I believe that

love working with people, and I am excited to hear your Ideas on how to improve

is needed in a Vice President. It would be a blessing to lead this awesome

our already great University.

community as your VP. Vinaka Vakalevu.

N.22 / V.48

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Phillip Mahe

Jane Gibson

Nominee for Director

WISA / Young Engineers Society Chur toko! My name is Phillip Mahe, but most just know

Hey, I'm Jane and I'm studying Entrepreneurship and English. I'm a smoothie-loving film enthusiast who owns

me as Phil or Chilly Philly. I am currently in third year of

too many sweaters. You might have seen me sporting one

my engineering degree majoring mechanical. I am very friendly, the cheesy

of those stunning yellow shirts during Ori (occasionally armed with a water gun)

smile says it all, but yes I do smile a lot as some people have told me but am

or behind the barbecue — I've been a WSU volly all year, which has been epic.

defs easy to talk to about anything. Things I enjoying doing are playing sports

I've been lucky enough to see the awesome passion the 2016 crew have had

such as rugby #Northland #Upthetanis. I also enjoy playing guitar and going

for the WSU Vision, and I'm not only stoked with what they've achieved, but

for runs around uni.

inspired. I'm a massive believer in people's power, but also that we need a voice.

Howsit! My names Francis Bridge (Franno), I’m also in my third year of mechanical engineering at Waikato same as Phil. Outside of engineering I brew beer and bourbon, gym and I also enjoy jamming guitar and spinning yarns with the boys. #northlandsucks #upthemooloos

I like to talk, but I'm here to listen too and lend my voice to yours. I'm currently on exchange to UCSD teaching Americans about pineapple lumps, but I'm really excited about coming back for 2017—it's full of potential, and whether it's as a volly or Director, I can't wait to be part of it.

If you couldn’t tell already Franno and I are going to campaign together, where we hope to get students views across and made known to the top dogs. We plan to help make your experience at uni much more enjoyable by creating events throughout year, and we’ll push for a bakery on campus. We understand that students need more pies and pissups!!

Nicola Smith Nominee for Director I enjoy long walks around Village green, college hall dining and leisurely visits to the library for group meetings. As a new student I represent the halls, I represent the freshers

Charmaine Riley Nominee for Director Te Whakahiapo / WULSA

and I want to represent you. These first hand student life experiences have helped inspire some fresh ideas for the university that may seem minor to older students. Ideas like first year mixers to help meet new people, setting up profiles to find the right tutors and lecturers for you. Also having orientation tours run

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, Courage

by faculties for a variety of classes. All these ideas work to provide ease of mind

is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

solutions to existing problems. I'm approachable so if you see me about with my

I am an approachable person who is motivated by fun and makes sure everyone else has fun with me!! My aim this year for WSU is to use my experience taken

half up half down hairstyle and over the top smile come for a yarn. I mean it's hard to be intimidating at my height after all I'm 5"3 and the only vote you need.

from many areas to “stand up and speak” for the students of Waikato but also be prepared to “sit down and listen” to deliver what is wanted by you. I strive to be diverse and have an eclectic nature therefore my door is always open. This

Alec Wilson

ensures I continuously learn skills to help others.

Nominee for Director

From a young age I have always been into helping others, I am currently sitting

Help me to help you and your university experience, by

on the Māori Law Society (Te Whakahiāpo) and will be on the executive board for

voting for me on your WSU board of directors for 2017.

WULSA (General Law Society) in 2k17. When I am not involved with societies or

I bring a fresh set of ideas and perspectives to make

studying hard (I know that’s all of you, lol), I work as a part-time Personal Trainer

Waikato the bumbling campus it should be, while making sure every student

and Volunteer Firefighter, both things I love to do and am passionate about.

has a positive experience during their time at Waikato Uni. So vote Alec as a director to make Waikato great again.

Ari Lewis Nominee for Director You may not really have an appreciation for what the

Cameron Harper Nominee for Director

Waikato Students’ Union is or what it actually does

Say no to Communism! The Reds are under the bed at

on your behalf, and that’s not your fault. You possibly

the WSU and they’re trying to build a pillow-fort. Meet

weren’t taught much about civic life at home or in school and now you’re being

me, your fort-buster-in-chief. Want some evidence?

expected to take an avid interest. In a nutshell the WSU exists to ensure we

Every year, the WSU pays thousands of dollars of your money to a Communist

have the safest, fairest and most enjoyable student experience possible. It’s

organisation, the NZ Union of Students Associations, who spend most of

also here to guarantee the student voice is heard in university matters because,

their time calling the government meanies, and don’t seem to do anything for

believe it or not, we are not the first consideration by the powers that be! My

students directly. It’s basically the Union of Soviet Socialist Student Associations

priority will be improving clubs. There is a lot to do, and I’m the first to admit

— and even though we left, the Communists at the WSU joined up again! I’m

I’ll need all the help I can get to do it but we can do better! The majority of the

here to change that — after all, I hate commies. Here’s a better idea — let’s spend

extra-curricular activities on campus stem directly from student organisations

those thousands of dollars on beer and pizza, and throw a party to celebrate the

and clubs because like every other aspect of the university experience, it’s all

end of the Cold War! After all, the WSU is funded by you, and I’ll make damn sure

about making things happen for yourself.

you get the benefits from it. If you hate Communism, Vote Harper! 11

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

William Takes the Wheel: Meet your President-Elect I’m really looking forward to leading a fresh team into 2017! The WSU had a great year. We are developing a strong studentfocused purpose for our organisation and making tough decisions to balance the 2017 budget The team spent a lot of time consulting with students to deliver WSU’s New Vision for Campus, which has gone on to form a new Strategic Plan bursting with ideas and opportunities to reshape campus. We know that we can strengthen our relationship with the University and do so much more for students on campus.2017 is going to be all about building relationships, developing credible implementation plans and making ambitious investment in exciting projects.

Shivani Rao

Calum Hughes

Nominee for Director

Hi! I’m Shivani Rao, I’m a first year engineering student,

Running for WSU Director wasn't always something

and am applying for the position of director on the WSU

I saw myself doing. To be honest after all those years

board. As a first year student, I’m campaigning foremost

in school councils you kind of get over sitting in

as a friend. Being a new student, I understand the sometimes difficult and even

meetings and not having any impact on anything. However over the last

isolated integration process into the university environment. And although change

couple of years at Uni I have been privileged to see and experience first

is hard I believe it can be good and empowering, I love the WSU New Vision for

hand many of the ways the WSU helps students academically, socially and

the Campus and I really support and want to help make this a reality for our

even to an extent, financially. I would love to be in a position to give back

students. A university should encapsulate this idea of diversity and universality.

to the University and help next year's students have as much of a g-time as

As a person, I strive to be an advocate, mentor and above all, friend to all students

I have had here so far. University is a time for us all to work hard and play

at our university. I envision a unified campus that boasts unity and a community

harder and I am more than happy to use my knowledge of Hall's life, my

atmosphere over individualism and endeavour to reflect these concepts and

newly minted driver's license or my outstanding snag barbequing ability to

believe that I can embody these ideas of adaptability and impact.

help you get through O-week and the year to come.

Soni Samra

Moses Simpson

Nominee for Director

WISA

Bikes on Campus

I’m Soni Samra. An average second-year student just like

A Bloke, A Beard, A Bike Shop.

each and every one of you. Born and brought up in Tauranga,

I have been at the University of Waikato for four years

moved to Hamilton to be a part of the university experience with you guys. My

now and I have worked my way through my bachelors, my honours and now

out-going and bubbly personality is what catches everyone’s attention. I’m easily

my master’s degree, I know that I wouldn’t have been able to get through

approachable and don’t bite so you can come talk to me anytime. I love to dance

the university without help from WSU, so now I want to be to give a bit

so I am part of the ‘Waikato Bhangra Club’ here on campus. I have a tendency of

back to the WSU and its members. At the end of 2014 I realised that the

helping everyone when needed and will always continue to do so regardless of

University of Waikato needed a bike shop on campus to make cycling to and

anything that happens. This is why I’m part of ‘AIESEC’ this semester and have

from the campus easy and convenient. I saw the opportunity and knew that

been part of ‘WISA’ for over a year. Just like any one of you, I’m a small town girl

by working hard it would happen and now Bikes on Campus has been going

trying to make an impact on the world but first starting from our own backyards

strong ever since. This attitude of ‘seeing a problem and finding a solution’

at the university and home.

is what I will bring to the role as director if appointed to help make the university a place where students are proud to be here.

Robbie Mercer Nominee for Director

Shiv Gounder

Innovation Station

Nominee for Director

Over the past year and a half, I’ve taken joy in being part

My name is Shiv, I am 18 years old and I'm a first year

of the Waikato student community. As a fresher arriving at

student. Currently I am studying a Bachelor in sociology

College Hall I took as my duty to get involved with student culture, whether it

and a major in Law, my dream is to be a criminal lawyer.

be playing inter-hall sports, being part of the clubs on campus or partaking in

I’m an outgoing person who enjoys hanging out with friends, living life with

various late night student activities. I always appreciated these aspects of being

no regrets and just making the most of life. I work at McDonald's at the base

a student but felt that there was much room for improvement. If I’m telling the

and earn an honest amount of pay which gets me through university, I also

truth, applying to become a Director hadn’t really crossed my mind. It wasn’t until

like to make new friends no matter what race and or gender they are. I self

one of my friends conned me into signing up that I realised this is something I am

proclaim myself as an entertainer because I enjoy making people laugh so

actually passionate about. For me, being on the Board of Directors is about having

they can have a good time with the environment around them. I would like to

a positive impact on student life. I’ve always been driven to make a difference here

be a director of the board because I know I can take up the tasks given to me,

and being on the Board is my chance to do so.

To make me friends and socialize events around university.

N.22 / V.48

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Fraser Clement

Frances Bridge

Nominee for Director

My name is Fraser and I am running for WSU director as I believe that Waikato Uni can become a top choice for students

Young Engineers Society Chur toko! My name is Phillip Mahe, but most just

wanting to have the full university experience. By aiming for

know me as Phil or Chilly Philly. I am currently in third

the reputation of Otago and coming just short of the burning couches and collapsed

year of my engineering degree majoring mechanical. I am very friendly, the

balconies, I believe we can create a place where students are excited for the student

cheesy smile says it all, but yes I do smile a lot as some people have told

life that uni should be. By voting me onto the board, you are ensuring a friendly face

me but am defs easy to talk to about anything. Things I enjoying doing are

to represent your voice to the uni while also guaranteeing that big business (the uni)

playing sports such as rugby #Northland #Upthetanis. I also enjoy playing

doesn't smother our wildest desires. I am a strong confident speaker who isn't afraid

guitar and going for runs around uni.

to break a few eggs in search of the greater good. Please consider me for WSU as I believe I will be an asset to student life here in the Waikato. Up the mighty Mooloos!

Anna Barhorst Nominee for Director

If you couldn’t tell already Franno and I are going to campaign together, where we hope to get students views across and made known to the top

“Vote for Your Voice” Hey Waikats. My name is Anna Barhorst

dogs. We plan to help make your experience at uni much more enjoyable by

and this election I would like to have the opportunity to

creating events throughout year, and we’ll push for a bakery on campus. We

represent your voice. I am running for director and would love

understand that students need more pies and pissups!!

the opportunity to work with students to improve the future of Waikato University. I am currently WSU volunteer studying earth science hoping to specialise in hydrology, and as a director I would like to focus on diversity, environmental issues and would like to hear what students would like to happen to improve the university for future Waikat’s. To see what I am all about I am always around the university normally

Kim Jong Nominee for Director MCSA

around level zero, so PLEASE feel free to approach me and find out more about what I will try to accomplish around the university and even challenge me to why I set these goals to achieve. Vote ANNA for Director and Let Your Voice Be Heard.

Kim. 22. Currently in my third year studying Marketing & PR at Waikato University. I’m an easy-going team player who has reliability, dedication, and drive to offer. I’ve recently had a bit of time free up in my schedule so I thought it was time I took on a bit

Deane Mason-Loveridge Nominee for Director

more responsibility. I am looking for some part-time sugar babies to keep me company while my friend is out of town. All your transport needs will be taken care of and you’ll be fed. Sugar babies are entitled to $10 on their bus

If you just want it short and simple: with me as a WSU

card a week and hot chips (must not use bus money to see other mami’s).

director for 2017, you’re going to have an awesome year. Just

Sugar babies must be 18+ and at least a 3/10.

like Martin Luther King, I have a dream, but my dream is for

Interested? You know what to do. Make the right choice (;

Waikato University students from all backgrounds, ages, ethnicities, and genders to

Oh wait… dammit! Wrong profile…

love this place as much as I do! This university is whatever you make it out to be – I only hope I can help you make it out to be the best. In the words of Bob Marley; “The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” In that regard, I want to be the greatest man alive, and I can do that by giving you all the best possible university experience!

Emily Ruane Nominee for Director Te Waiora Hello, Talofa, Kon’nichiwa, tēnā koutou katoa. “Emily

Alex Winiata Nominee for Director Hello everyone, my name is Alex Winiata and I’m currently a third year BCS student majoring in Marketing. I have never been a part of the WSU however, it is my last year at university next year so I though why not. If I had one vote for every girl on this campus I’ve shagged, I would get this role easily. But I’m also a good option for these reasons:

my name is, running for Director I am.” Yes! That’s right! This little pocket rocket is willing to catch that WSU train to advocate for you #GreatThingsComeInSmallPackages. *Caution* GOT reference follows: Born and bred “Far” North of the wall, ko Te Aupōuri me Ngāti Kuri ōku iwi. Recently - graduated with my BTCHG degree, currently - in my 4th year of study, at the moment - studying Te Reo Māori, next year - skies the limit!

I am always keen to get involved with campus life, I am currently working 2 jobs

Being Te Waiora Co-President has taught me the importance of working with

within the university so I know the ins and outs of the place, and I am great at

a diverse range of people and cultures. Giving back is my PASSION, being

organising events for students. We have it pretty sweet here in Hamilton but there

selfless is my motivator, and when you’re up against the wall and feeling the

are always things to improve. If you are keen on having a down to earth dude, that

pressure, it is the PASSION you have that will see you through to the end.

can help you have a better time at university, I am that dude!

Friendly and down to earth, so please don’t be shy to say Hi.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

BOOK SAVAGES BY DON WINSLOW BRITTANY ROSE

This novel ain’t academic, and at times borders on racist, but the barely credible characters and ridiculous plot make a decent fuckin’ story. Just take it at face value. With drug cartels, kidnapping and a threesome (the good kind) Winslow tells the tale of our stoner protagonist, Ophelia ‘O’, and her two best friends, Chon and Ben. The trash-tastic story revolves around turf wars over Laguna Beach. It’s the Mexican Baja Cartel vs our hot protagonists, and boy do you come out of that novel hating some of the Mexicans (see: racist). Winslow’s style — short chunks of text, littered with line breaks and sub-chapters, creating a layering of vignettes which feed into each other — is incredibly easy to read. Although the novel hints at an attempt to ask the question, 'Who are the real savages?', it falls short by glorying in the bravado and masculinity of Chon, tempered by the compassion and philanthropy of the ever-zen Ben. Rife with tryhard acronyms, a trite, ‘racey’ tone (eg. “internet porn… she likes it a lot… type[s] in “squirters,” and checks out the clips”). The novel opens with a hedonistic mood: O smokes “powerful hydro” before rough sex with the emotionally distant, war-damaged Chon. Sex, murder and violence (trigger warning: rape) makes Savages a book that is compulsively readable, if not total trash.

BOOK DID YOU EVER HAVE A FAMILY BY BILL CLEGG SARAH HYDE

COMIC BOOK BATMAN: ENDGAME JARED WOOLDRIDGE

June Reid loses her family, everyone she loves, in the space of 45 seconds. She goes from being a loving partner and mother of the bride, to a grieving woman who owns nothing but the

It’s a love story for the ages. Clown with hazy origins meets vigilante, falls into

clothes on her back. In 45 seconds. June lives in small town

vat of acid, and ends up terrorizing his city, causing untold destruction and

America, and has a full house of visitors for her daughter's

devastation. Okay, might not sound like your typical love story, but that is the

wedding. On the eve of the big event however, the house burns

relationship the Joker has with Batman, and it’s a thrilling one to read. Endgame,

down, killing everyone inside.

released last year, cast more light than ever on the relationship between these two

I bought this book impulsively: it had good reviews online, an intriguing plot summary, and a cover I knew would make a

characters, as writer Scott Snyder and artist Greg Capullo prove to be the best Bat-team of all.

good Instagram post. Luckily, it turned out to be one of the best

Last time the Joker was spotted, he was trying to murder everyone Batman loves,

books I have read this year.

so their relationship can get back to what it used to be, without distraction. Oh,

Did You Ever Have a Family is relatively short book, and is told in both first and second person by June, and those who knew the victims of the fire. There are a number of different voices, but this only adds to the natural, emotive pull of this novel; the chapters are beautifully interwoven with clear, distinct, characterisation.

and his face was cut off and strapped on. Now, spurned by his lover, he’s back and had enough of Batman’s playing hard to get. Instead, he’s just going to burn everything, including Batman, as a possible supernatural origin for the Joker is revealed. It’s a personal story, with city-wide stakes, but above all a character piece between the two.

Although it’s based around a tragic, mysterious event, this is

The tie-in stories to the central comic are excellent as well, showing the effect the

not a sensationalised thriller, or a gripping mystery novel.

Joker can have on ordinary people. One in particular is very harrowing, depicting

Instead Clegg thrives on building a narrative of realistic human

how the Clown Prince of Crime can destroy a person’s sense of reality itself,

emotion and interaction. It encompasses themes of regret, love,

showing how cruel and dangerous he can be without even using a weapon. For

loss, and mortality, and very powerfully left me considering my

Batman lovers, or comic-book fans in general, this story ranks high as one of the

own relationships and interactions. Did You Ever Have a Family

best Joker stories of all time. Or for people interested in comics, Endgame is a

is bittersweet, heartbreaking, and ultimately uplifting, a story

dark, twisted journey into the psyche of these well-known and famous characters.

about what you can do when there’s nothing you can do.

It’s like the saying goes, Hell hath no fury like a clown scorned.

N.22 / V.48

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FOOD LITTLE GEORGE EMMA NYGARD

Like a lot of broke uni students I take a keen interest in looking out for deals — particularly when it comes to free or cheap food. If you didn’t already know Wednesday is cheap pizza night. There’s $3 pizzas at Shenanigans and $5 pizzas at House on Hood and Little George. My budget was running a little low this week so instead of some fancy Sunday brunch, Little George pizza it is! While the original price ($22) of the sausage and bacon pizza that my previously vegetarian self would be hurling at let me think I was nabbing some kind of legendary deal I ended up a little let down. As a $5 pizza it definitely garnered at least a 3.5/5, however I’m hoping they spruce it up a little bit for the regular paying customers because I could have used an entire bottle more sauce. The Good George Cider, as per usual, was delicious however I soon realised you weren’t paying for the food so much as you were paying for the good vibes and entertainment. There’s playing cards and Jenga, and Wednesday coincides with open mic night which ensures a few novice lyricists will come down and take a stab at playing their

TV SERIES YOU’RE THE WORST JARED WOOLDRIDGE

music featuring edgy words like "paradox" and "darkness" a little too frequently for my liking — but still, it gives the place some kind of cool, alty vibe. And there will definitely be covers, mostly of severely depressing song, but kudos to the duo who sang Mad World and had me sobbing over pizza. Beautiful.

I wish this series was bad, I so wanted the title to be “You’re The Worst is the worst!” I would’ve said it, and it would’ve been hilarious. But I can’t. It’s good. You’re The Worst is a very funny, very adult series, more than willing to deal openly and honestly with some dark subject matter other series would shy away from. With two excellent seasons under its belt already, the third just started airing, and is as good, offbeat,

FILM ALONE FOR CHRISTMAS ONYX LILY

dark, witty, and sexual as ever. The characters could very easily have been hateable. They’re

There’s a little known genre of films I call “secret Christian movies”. These are

not pleasant people, but they don’t have to be. The fake

movies that don’t overtly mention anything Jesusy on the cover, but within the

people you usually see in rom-coms have been swapped out

first 30 minutes you realise that the whole film is just wholesome family values

for characters buried in insecurities, flaws, and deplorable

coupled with terrible acting. Some of them go fullscale Jesus after that; some have

traits. They’re still watchable, and likeable though, because

been made so the church kids have something to watch that won’t corrupt them.

that’s what people are like. It’s a trend similar to Bojack, where

Alone for Christmas appears to fall into the second category.

the landscape is populated by real and relatable characters, suffering from the same problems many of us do, rather than the care-free lives of New York apartment inhabitants.

The premise of the movie has been ripped from the Xmas classic Home Alone, except this time the family leaves the dog home alone. The old dog has to learn some new tricks to foil the pesky and not-very-clever burglars, and hilarity ensues,

So it’s not your typical rom-com. It deals with depression and

in the form of watching humans get burnt, bashed on the head, stuck in a laundry

PTSD — what starts off with a funny one-night stand evolves

chute, and glued to a bed full of stuffed animals (actually, that was quite funny).

into something with more heart, and is more grounded, than the competition. It never abandons the humour though, a lot of which is decidedly adult, and there’s an enormous amount of sex involved (which usually leads to some quite witty exchanges), but You’re The Worst is a fresh and different take on your typical boy-meets-girl show. Partly to do with the sex. Very vivid at times.

There are only four things wrong with this movie: a terrible script, abysmal acting, amateurish cinematography and low-budget production. So yeah. The scenes in the car are unintentionally hilarious as they didn’t bother putting anything on the blue screen, so the car windows are just whited out. The one genuinely funny scene involves Kevin Sorbo (of Hercules fame) as a rogue dog catcher, ripping off the Quint scene from Jaws, talking about being savaged by toy poodles. With the glut of dog/Christmas combo movies around, there’s really no excuse for hiring one this dire. 15

NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

ARTS NEOCASUALISM AT FRAMING WORKSHOP PETER DORNAUF

The art world in the twentieth century was always looking

triumphalism. Today, artists who play with abstraction come

for fresh meat. The “shock of the new” meant that newness

at the genre with more humble appetites and unpretentious

was one of the driving forces propelling experimentation

claims. One of those styles in the twenty-first century is

and a combative search for the next best thing. Turnover

something called Neo-Casualism. Even the name proclaims

of styles and theories as a result ran at a giddy rate. Isms

its self-effacing demeanour. This art is not out to change

were thick on the ground, pushing and jostling for room.

the world (how silly is that?). It is in its provisional nature

They also came with large claims, utopian ideals, dogmas

and tentative approach, more in keeping with the pragmatic

and manifestos. When the world ran out of styles and

tenor of the times.

movements in the late twentieth century, postmodernism took to reworking the old styles with ironic twists and critical awareness. Retro with a sideways glance. Part of this shift also involved a rethink, even rejection of modernist ideals and overreach. In a world of relativism, one can no longer comfortably make grandiose claims or dream great dreams.

Forget the big bold headliners — Kandinsky, Mondrian Rothko, Pollock. These were deluded dreamers. What Neo-Casualism offers are tentative dabs of paint on small canvases that look like unfinished, underdeveloped try-outs. Crapstraction is how one unkind commentator described it.

Utopian reveries are off the menu because of twentieth

Nicholas Megchelse’s exhibition at Framing Workshop Gallery

century gulags and concentration camps. More recently

(Silverdale Road) is in the Neo-Casual mode. These are

capitalism is also coming in for stick.

small canvases that are purely abstract but in a completely

So modern art with the voice of abstraction proclaiming a New World Order, sounds a little naïve to us today. It also makes us nervous. But artists don’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Abstraction, as a style, in a lower

unheroic register. Small splotches of paint mix it with layered and loose homogeneous application of pigment. Even the back of a painting, constructed of clay, is up for presentation. Paintings that look like paintings is the tag line.

key, with the soft pedal on, seems perfectly acceptable,

To get the feel for this art, check out artists, Raoul De Keyser

catering to our more modest tastes.

and Alice Browne, two of Megchelse’s influences. Art in a

Cubism, Constructivism, Abstract Expressionism, Minimalism

deliberate minor key.

and Suprematism have given way to an art crying shy of

AUTEUR THE FIRST AUTEURS RICHARD SWAINSON

Last week I covered the history of the cinema up to the first

ALICE GUY

narrative film. This week the story continues with an overview

The world's first woman director, Guy's debut, The Cabbage

of the first true film directors. Whilst the Lumiere brothers and

Patch Fairy (1896), still has the power to shock. An IMDB

Thomas Edison and his employees developed film technology

reviewer decries Guy's use of actual babies in a fantasy

they had little or no interest in using it for artistic expression.

short based on the myth of cabbage patch births. She was

This task was left to others. Three are discussed below.

probably the only female filmmaker in the world between 1896 and 1906, during which time she doubled as the

GEORGE MELIES

Gaumont company's head of production. Her French career

A stage magician who attended the Lumieres' initial public

climaxed with a lavish 1906 biblical epic, The Birth, Life

screening, Melies instantly grasped the cinema's possibilities

and the Death of Christ, which ran over half an hour. After

in terms of illusion. His early work tended to be an extension

marrying and shifting to America, Guy's films became more

of his existing magic act, showcasing particular and

complex still. 1912's Falling Leaves, a melodrama about child

uniquely cinematic special effects. Prolific and ambitious

neglect, is particularly recommended.

— he made 78 shorts in 1896 alone — Melies soon began

N.22 / V.48

experimenting with narrative and historical enactments and

EDWIN S. PORTER

then embraced fantastic, Jules Verne influenced themes

Porter's career is too often reduced to two films: The Great

with great theatricality. Though best remembered today

Train Robbery (1903), for years erroneously labelled the

for 1902's A Trip to the Moon, a milestone in the history of

first "real" movie and The Life of an American Fireman

screen science fiction, he had earlier set similar precedents

(1903), whose especial innovation is commonly thought

with the world's first horror short, 1896's The Haunted Castle

to be parallel editing. In actual fact Porter made over 250

and the medium's first foray into erotica: 1897's After the

films between 1899 and 1915, his work including everything

Ball, the Bath, in which his future wife strips partially nude

from historical reenactments and street documentaries to

for the camera. Altogether Melies made over 500 films

fairy tales and social commentary melodramas that directly

between 1896 and 1913.

influenced DW Griffith, his protege.

SUCCESS

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FEATURE SUCKCESS JESSICA ROY

Jessica Roy is sick of traditional versions of success, sick of people being

ADVICE: DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

valued based on their adherence to an outdated expectation that we should

The best life advice I’ve ever had and will always give. It’s like a badly paraphrased

a) grow up and get a ‘real’ job, b) buy (lol) a house with our partner, and c)

Ghandi, "be the success you want to see in the world". If you set your own goals,

breed 1.5 children. This education major is also sick of the ‘Cs get degrees’

put your effort into things that you love, you can celebrate accomplishments and

attitude — especially when it’s coupled with a lack of independent decision

achievements more authentically because it’s something you wanted to do. If

making. Sure, she wants to know what success is, but mostly she’s wondering

you don’t care about a subject, you probably won’t achieve and you definitely

what the fuck you’re doing at uni if you’re only here to appease others.

won’t succeed.

THE QUESTIONS… What does it mean to be successful in 2016? Is it getting As in all your papers? Scoring that 10/10 hookup in town? Paying off your poorly spent overdraft? 200 likes on your latest Insta selfie? Finally finishing this soul-destroying degree? Who decides what is successful? Our parents? The government? University?

Don’t do something (like enrol at uni) just because Mum and Dad think you should. Don’t do it because society has prescribed a method to reach success. Instead, do what you think is important for keeping your head above water in the often depressing pool of life. Not to say go out and do meth. Rather, strive for things that challenge and change you, that leave you with that ‘Yaaasss’ feeling after working your ass off, the sense of satisfaction after toiling away. Success, just like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, should not be viewed as a fixed point; but instead as a continually developing state of mind — more a case of

Apparently, society has already prescribed what it means to be successful and

being successful rather than possessing success as an end-result. Did Thomas

it’s still heavily based on the capitalist values of our parents and grandparents

Edison stop after creating the telephone, or Bill Gates after producing the first

(thanks guys); go to uni, get a degree, make money, get married, get a house,

edition of Windows, or Eminem after ‘Lose Yourself’? No way, they kept at it, kept

produce the next generation of workers have kids, retire eventually to your bach

setting the bar higher and accomplished more.

on the coast. MAYBE SOME ANSWERS... We’re all here to get a fancy piece of paper with our name on it saying we’re good

So where does that leave our seemingly mediocre accomplishments? That essay, overdraft repayment, or flawless picture sure don’t qualify you as the next Slim Shady, but they can definitely be a part of your journey of success.

at something. We’re all using academic achievement to measure our success (or

Own your achievements and use them as stepping stones to bigger and better

failure). Although, what gets me is how many students don’t want to be here,

achievements. Use that A to springboard to an A+, maintain an overall A grade

how many aren’t the least bit interested in your major subject area. Why are you

in all your papers, graduate with honours — if being academically successful is

here? I’m guessing it’s some level of pressure to be ‘successful’, to ‘do something

what makes you happy. After paying off your overdraft, start saving, pay off your

with your life’. But what next?

student loan, purchase something you could never afford as a student. This week

Are you really successful if you are not challenged, if your thinking does not change and develop, if you do not experience both wonder and frustration, if you don’t strive for a goal?

a selfie, next week a witty caption, follow it up with a lucrative promotion deal, and then a job taking pictures and travelling the world. SUCCESS IS ALL ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.

For those of us proudly following our passions through a degree, the question of

One option is to focus on the end-product of a ‘bach on the coast with plenty

what’s next is still burning away. How do we achieve that overwhelming feeling

of money in the retirement fund’ perspective. Another option is to focus on

of pride and accomplishment that we’re undoubtedly going to feel as parents

living a successful journey, where you set goals, work hard to accomplish

photograph us each standing awkwardly in front of the sign on Hillcrest road in

them and continue being an amazing human being — whether it’s in a bach at

a shapeless graduation gown?

Whangamata, in a housebus travelling Canada, completing your 700th skydive by age 80, or expeditioning through the rainforest saving endangered animals. You decide.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE NEW ZEALAND’S GREATEST SPORTING UNDERDOGS FREDDY WALKER

In New Zealand we’re well used to the phrase ‘underdog’. We’re at the

Coming from the Adams family, Steven had the natural attributes to be a great

bottom of the world with a tiny population — but we still punch above our

basketball player. However, nobody could have predicted the way he would take

weight when it comes to sport. In line with the Success theme, Freddy Walker

off. Upon finishing at Scots College Steven went to Notre Dame Preparatory

introduces three sporting underdogs who’ve made it big.

School, where he became noticed by NBA scouts. He was drafted at number 12 in the 2013 draft by the Oklahoma City Thunder,

STEPHEN ‘THE BEAVER’ DONALD

and has not looked back. Being the first Kiwi to be a first-round pick in the NBA

I still get chills remembering The Beaver break

can be considered as a large amount of pressure, but Mr Cool Adams doesn’t

his staunch character for a brief moment when

seem too phased by it. He is racking up serious numbers and a lot of positive

he punched the air after receiving his World Cup

press from his attitude and dedication to the game. Adams has run basketball

winners’ medal in 2011.

camps along with his OKC teammates within New Zealand and has a dedication

We all know who Stephen Donald is. He was

to improving basketball within the country. He is going to be an NBA superstar.

perhaps going down as one of our worst All Blacks

NATALIE ROONEY

of all time. He was disgraced, and didn’t make the All Blacks team for the World

Natalie was a member of the 2012 Olympic team

Cup on our home soil in 2011. Just watch YouTube to find some of his bloopers.

that went to London. That is, she was until another

Even Donald himself had admitted defeat. However, some freak injuries to our

shooter contested the selection and took her

first, second and third choice first fives saw fifth-choice Beaver called into the

place. This would be a major drawback for any

squad. It wasn’t just for any game either, it was the final of the World Cup we had

sportsperson, but Natalie used it as motivation to

to win at home. I, along with many of the public, sought comfort in the fact that

get to Rio and make it big.

at least he didn’t have to play the game, he could sit on the bench. Then Cruden went down and Beaver was thrust into the spotlight. Like any great underdog, there was a moment of hilarity when his shirt didn’t fit, which had of course wooed all the ladies of New Zealand when it had happened to Sonny Bill earlier in the World Cup.

Rooney did indeed make it to Rio, but for her to become New Zealand’s first medallist at the games was a longshot to all experts. But she was ready, she had done the preparation, and when it came her time to shine she did so. Representing the South Canterbury region Natalie shot her way to silver, only

Beaver went on to make history. Not only did he kick that winning penalty, but he ran the game like a pro and we shut out France to break our World Cup drought. Now Stephen plies his trade within the Waikato Mitre 10 cup team and

narrowly missing out on gold, to capture the minds of Kiwis everywhere. Her efforts at the games were widely publicised throughout the country and her underdog effort is incredible.

is fostering the likes of Damien McKenzie and Anton Leinert-Brown to greatness

Natalie has been described as a great role-model for up and coming shooters,

like the man himself achieved. Good on ya Beaver.

especially within the South Canterbury region. Craighead Diocesan, Natalie’s former school, has a strong pathway for shooters who are coming through the

STEVEN ADAMS

ranks thanks to Natalie’s input and efforts.

As if being the youngest of 18 children isn’t hard

N.22 / V.48

enough, Adams identifies his father’s passing as

NOTABLE OMISSIONS

a turning point in his life. The Rotorua native was

Eliza McCartney

skipping school, and was on a road to nowhere

NZ Women’s Sevens

when one of his brothers picked him up and placed

Luuka Jones

him in a Wellington basketball academy.

NZ Mens football (2010).

SUCCESS

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FEATURE SUCCESSFUL WAIKATO GRADS INTERVIEWS BY BRITTANY ROSE, OLIVIA PARIS & LYAM BUCHANAN

Leaving uni is scary, especially this time of year with exams looming and the pressure of finding a job building for those ready to graduate (congrats, btw). Add in the fact you have to repay your student loan and you’ve got a recipe for panic. Luckily we found three Waikato alumni who are actually employed in their actual field of actual study. If you follow in their footsteps and listen to their advice maybe you’ll translate years of stress, and thousands of dollars into something worthwhile too?

MONIQUE CORKILL, 23 Faculty of study at UoW Faculty of Education. Occupation Food and PE Teacher. How long did you study for? Four years. Is your degree framed or hanging on your wall?

me sane throughout my study years. I managed to keep up with my readings and assignments and still made time to see my friends to go on a road trip to Raglan or something. Have you ever won anything? I have never won anything :/ Was there ever a moment you felt like a failure at uni? There were multiple times when I felt like a failure. The worst times were my practicum experiences in schools where I felt like I let myself, my students and my associate teachers down. There are so many areas to feel like you’re failing in with teaching — maybe you don’t have a broad or deep

My degree from Wintec is hanging on the wall, but not my

enough understanding of your subject material; maybe

Waikato graduate diploma in teaching. Not for any particular

your classroom management isn’t up to scratch — you

reason, I just haven't got around to it.

might make a kid cry, you might get laughed at when you’re trying to be serious, you might be completely ignored. These

Did you attend your graduation ceremony?

experiences really questioned my abilities and whether I

Yes, I did attend as I wanted to celebrate my success. It was

wanted to continue teaching. Thank god I had support from

a great experience. I’d definitely recommend going since it’s

friends and family who pushed me, and got me back onto

kind of a once in a lifetime experience.

the right track.

What does success mean to you?

What advice would you give to a first year student?

Success is something that I always strive towards in all

Have fun, don't be afraid to ask questions, and make sure

aspects of my life. I love to challenge myself and be the best

you have time out for yourself. Sure, go out every now and

that I can be. Success means hard work and perseverance. In

then, but make sure you also spend time going to the gym

some cases you also need to experience failure to reach the

or having a coffee with a friend. Even just take an hour to

success you are trying to achieve.

read a book.

What are you most proud of achieving when you were still

What about a final year student?

a student?

Keep pushing and persevere. The finish line is so close. Trust

I was proud to maintain a good work-life balance as this kept

me, it’s worth it.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

MEGAN PROCTOR, 22 Faculty of study at UoW Faculty of Law / Management School .

Have you ever won anything or been recognised for your success/achievements at uni or in your studies? A couple of years ago I won two platinum tickets to Beyonce’s concert in Auckland. I had to sing one of her songs live on the radio. After finishing first year I was invited into the Golden Key International Honours Society (which

Occupation I have just returned from two months travelling around Europe and now I’m looking forward to start as a Law Clerk with Chapman Tripp in Auckland next February. How long did you study for?

recognises students in the top 15% of their faculty) and then when I finished second year I got a letter inviting me into law honours (I couldn't believe it... and thought they had sent the letter to the wrong person) after third and fourth year I got recognition from the dean for my exam results which was pretty cool and made the stressful crazy exam study worth it.

I did a conjoint LLB(Hons)/BCS and I studied for four and a half years. It was meant to take me five and a half to six but I

Was there ever a moment you felt like a failure at uni?

overloaded and crammed like mad to shorten it down!

I wouldn't use the word 'failure' as such, but I guess when

Is your degree framed or hanging on your wall?

you work hard and get a bad mark it feels pretty horrible. Also, in 2015, in my second to last year at uni, I applied for a

I haven't had my graduation ceremony yet, so I don't have

few summer clerk positions and I had a couple of interviews

my degrees hanging up... but watch this space.

but unfortunately I didn't get an offer at the time... I was pretty gutted as this is often the foot in the door you need

Did you attend your graduation ceremony?

to get a permanent position at one of these firms. However

Not yet... but I’m looking forward to it so it will feel real that

after being told I was next in line for an offer I decided to use

I've actually finished uni now.

this as a learning experience to improve my applications this year. I'm sooo glad I did as I've ended up with a permanent

What does success mean to you?

position at my law firm of preference! So I guess this just

I think of success in general terms as having done your best

goes to shows that everything happens for a reason and

and knowing that you tried your hardest. I think you can

hard work and perseverance definitely pays off!

always be happy with the results that come from doing that. Personally, I have the goal of working towards becoming a

What advice would you give to a first year student?

partner at a reputable commercial law firm. If I can achieve

Have fun. Enjoy your time at uni as much as you can, it

that in my career I couldn’t ask for much more.

seriously goes by so fast! And don't stress too much if you don't always get through all your readings (just don't tell

What are you most proud of achieving when you were still

your lecturers I said that though.. haha).

a student?

I'm most proud of getting my dream job at a firm of my

What about a final year student?

preference and for finishing my studies with first class

Keep going... you're probably in your busiest and hardest

honours! To me that makes the hard work, the many all-

semester but you're almost there... and it feels sooo good

nighters and the huge amounts of stress all worth it!

to be done!

N.22 / V.48

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Have you ever won anything? I’ve won a couple scholarships…technically won a raffle once but I wrote my sister’s name on the form so I guess she won it. I win bets all the time, but lose them just as often. I also won $700 on my first try of roulette, so that counts? Was there ever a moment you felt like a failure at uni? No…but I’m a winner. Kidding. All the time, and for stupid stuff, too. The worst feeling is when you proofread somebody else’s work and they end up getting a better mark than you. That one sucks. But the worst for me by far would be how in

ANDREW HOWARD, 21 Faculty of study at UoW Faculty of Science and Engineering. Occupation Full time MSc (Research) Student, first year demonstrator and private tutor. How long did you study for? I started in 2013 semester A, finished in semester B 2015. Took a break for the first half of 2016 and started my MSc (Research) in semester B 2016. Is your degree framed or hanging on your wall?

my second year, I failed all of the first assignments for each of my papers…twice…with one exception. I passed the first Genetics (BIOL210) test pretty convincingly. What advice would you give to a first year student? Pick your learning style, and a study style that best suits you. Also leave your ego at the door. That’s the most important one. I was a shit student in undergrad, left all my assignments ‘til the last minute, and never went to classes. But I accepted I was lazy and didn’t try and play the usual first year card of “pfft I don’t need to study to pass XYZ”. That shit is only true if you’re doing a fluffy degree. Anyone can bullshit what “sustainable development” is or whatever it is first year geo tried to teach me, but you can’t bullshit a question asking you for the biogeochemical cascade involving hepatocytes making reference to cAMP/ PKA/TORC transducers. If you’re gonna leave it to the “last

On my wall? Nope…on my parents' wall? Yup. They bought

minute”, leave it to YOUR last minute. Don’t start it 45

an expensive frame and hung it on the wall next to my

minutes before it’s due because your mate did it once and

brother’s degree.

got a good mark. Never compare yourself to other people. You’re here for your education, not to make a point about

Did you attend your graduation ceremony?

being better than others. If you can’t leave your ego at the

I did, in part because my parents wanted me to, and they

door, then I personally thank you for paying my salary and

successfully bribed me with lunch and dinner. I’ll do anything

not getting anything out of it.

for a free lunch and dinner, including putting myself in $60,000 debt, apparently.

What about a final year student? If you’re in your final year you should know by now there

What does success mean to you?

are no tutors to hold your hand. There are lecturers

I’m all about the money. If it contributed to gettin’ loaded, I

though, and they’re people. Talk to your lecturers, ask

say go for it. If you want to study something fluffy, understand

them questions and ask for help. Also learn how they mark

and accept that it’s more of a hobby than anything else.

things…every academic (particularly in science) will believe

Get a degree in a field which can get you somewhere in life

they’re immune to bias. Nobody is. If your lecturer words

#Success #Fuckthearts

something a particular way, use their wording. If you want easy marks, think to yourself how would the person marking

What are you most proud of achieving when you were still

this answer this? Also, get drunk more. You guys are so

a student?

highly strung this year. My personal favourites are those of

Passing three papers without attending lectures for any of

you who say things to me like “Yeah, but you’re a master’s

them. In undergrad I was the student lecturers hated. Ask

student now…you have it much easier than us undergrads.”

any lecturer or tutor, and they’ll have a sad story about

Which is true. Master’s is a lot easier than undergrad. But

someone who attended all lectures and tutorials and “just”

I had to go through the same shit you did to get to where

missed out on passing. I’m the one they don’t like. Had a near

I am, and I had to do it well, so don’t throw those bullshit

0% lecture and tutorial attendance and still passed most of

arguments around. You’re not busy or stressed, you’re lazy

my papers convincingly.

and highly strung.

YOUR SPACE A KNIGHTON TO REMEMBER PT.2 We liked this flat so much we went in for round two. This is really saying something, because generally we like to be in student flats for as little time as possible due to the high risk of catching some type of flesh-eating virus. This sweet little spot even boasts a swing outside to compliment the window seats where you can just imagine a highly alternative hipster girl spends her time rereading Catcher In The Rye and pining over Holden Caulfield. Â&#x2014;

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

MODERN DAY MIXTAPE FANBOI

THAT TIME I… ACCIDENTALLY BECAME A DEALER

LYAM BUCHANAN

PILL PUSHIN PETER

I DON’T WANNA BE FUNNY ANYMORE, LUCY DACUS

Now this is coming from someone who had never done pingas, ecstasy, MDMA

Another Australian sporting the classic indie aesthetic, cashing in on trendy

or any combination of whatever the fuck it is you get here in Aotearoa until this

vulnerable lyricism and arty photography. I’ll forever hold the locals such as

particular instance. Except for speed, that shit was mean. It was Kingitanga

Fazerdaze in higher regard, however Lucy Dacus is definitely making some

day; this has always been a traditional ‘on the piss day’. I took days off to

solid tracks. The general sound has fairly placid tone but is accompanied

ensure I could get as fucked up as it’s possible to get without impacting my

by a droning overall feel. The backbone is based off simplicity and perfectly

studies (lol). I arrived at the house the piss up was going down at: casual

crafted carelessness, it doesn’t matter how much effort is actually invested

drinking games were going on and a few people from high school who I hadn’t

in the creation as long as the end product sounds raw and a lil angsty. This is

seen in a few years from my hometown surprised me with their presence. The

more or less what you’d expect to hear in some American ‘coming of age’ film,

usual “what’s going on cunts” was exchanged several times before getting

perfectly suited to the quiet interlude after the main character has a falling out

proper into it. The time was 2pm.

with their potential love interest.

During the afternoon, one of the bros mentioned that pingas were in order. Given my free schedule, the decision: ‘fuck it, why not?’ was made. I knew very

HARPE, KENTON SLASH DEMON Harpe is the inner monologue of your peak. It takes the vibe of what a night out is portrayed to be in film and adds a sense of realism. The majority of elements and samples have been introduced within the first minute, the track is then carried on through the manipulation of everything which has been previously established. In writing this sounds like you’ll be listening to a whole bunch of boring repetitions and subtle modifications, in reality this is all a night out ever is. Starting off with an emotional stare into the bathroom mirror and spiralling into a series of sub-par events, this track is guaranteed to remind you why spending your rent on substance was such a great idea. LAST YOU HEARD OF ME, JOYCE MANOR

little about pingas, other than the rumour: ‘if it’s purple, it’s no good’, which went promptly out the window. Upon asking if it was decent, the bro replied: “it’s mean bol, best I’ve ever had! I’m like eighty percent it’s mostly MD!” At this point I thought, sure, I’ll get some, how much are you getting? He replied: “The bro said $35 each for ten”, showing my ignorance, I assumed everyone was getting ten. The nearest ATM supplied me with $350. After returning, the bro was amazed at how keen I was, he had meant ten between everyone. Oh, shit. The dealer, via text, confirmed: “If you’re getting 20, I’ll sell them for $30”. Through my ignorance, I had cheapened everyone’s high by about 16%.

Joyce Manor finds the middle ground between ballad and traditional structure.

I bought ten. My plan was to rail half a cap and see how I felt. Whilst doing

By utilising the progressions you’d expect from any standard garageband

that I sold two to a guy in the bathroom. We yarned for a while before realising

and coupling it with a story instead of standard ‘verse/chorus’ form chucks

the cap I started was gone. Upon exiting the bathroom I got told my eyes

this band in the rare genre of somewhat interesting indie rock. I’m a fiend for

looked like ‘dinner plates’. As the lines kicked in, I started freaking out, walking

careless vocals and anything that even slightly hints at an emo band kid vibe,

up and down the hallway, thinking “I need to get home”. I ended up in the

this sound is perfect for the awkward limbo between big album releases. If

lounge, spinning a yarn with a mate and before I knew it I was floating and it

you’re still unable to accept that your high school band didn’t propel you into

was excellent.

the stardom you deserve then this track will be sure to send you on a nostalgic trip to where everything in your life went wrong.

Throughout the course of the evening, I sold seven and a half caps and got high for free, it was the best night I have ever had in my entire fucking life. Also, may have gotten a super unpleasant, toothy BJ at some point, not too sure.

N.22 / V.48

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THE I.T. GUY APPS FOR THE DISORGANISED

JUST THE TIP GUIDE TO DUBLIN

MATTHEW RAE

NINA FOX

Time management is one of the biggest problems I face. I’m constantly

Do you like potatoes? Check. Do you like drinking? Check. Do you enjoy

complaining how I’m too busy to do anything and then spend an hour in the

ridiculing the English? Check. Then Dublin is the place for you! Ireland is like

office hanging out, 30 minutes on the bus to and from uni looking out the

the charismatic, drunken uncle to New Zealand. We both like to get on the piss

window, then two hours a night staring blankly at my computer to unwind.

in a big way, so it’s about time you visited the end of the rainbow.

This column is perpetually late, and my assignments are even later. That’s why I've begun looking at new ways of squeezing more out of these wasted moments. What better way to do it than by kitting out my phone with all the latest gadgets.

The undeniably best part about Ireland is the people. They all seem to be hysterical, with accents that you could easily make love to. While in Europe, one of my closest friends hailed from the Emerald Isle and studied in Dublin, so I went for a cheeky visit. I was lucky enough to attend their version of a Halls

I’m actually on the bus on my way to uni as I write this and I’m using WPS

Party. Much like a Studville piss-up involves copious amounts of pre-drinking.

Office to write it. WPS Office is the first free App I’ve found that allows me

Nineties bangers were playing, when all of a sudden the playlist swapped to

to not only write Word Docs but also construct Powerpoint presentations

what I can only describe as Irish folk. Legitimately the entire crowd began

and spreadsheets all from my phone. It’s great for taking notes in class and

singing traditional Gaelic songs, while I stood there trying my best to mime

it means I can leave my bulky laptop at home. Now I just have to remember

the elven language. The Irish are a bloody hoot, and can even keep up with us

to go to class.

binge drinking lot, so you are guaranteed a wild night out.

The next time saver that I’m only just putting into proper use is Google

Dublin itself is brimming with culture and history, so when you’re not too dusty

Calendar. If I can plan my day out from start to end then I know exactly when

definitely try to learn more about their unique culture. Dublin has some old

I need to be places and when I can disappear and grab a drink. The app also

pearls scattered throughout the modern city, such as Trinity College and a

comes with a nice widget that allows me to see all the events I have for the day

former prison called Kilmainham Gaol. You will soon realise just how much

in chronological order. My color scheme allows me to know what’s important

the Republic of Ireland has gone through in order to remain independent

and what's not.

from the Brits. They are very proud of this fact, which is most evident in the

To Do List is the last app that is a must have. Too many times have I thought I needed to do something only to forget 10 minutes later. With To Do List I can

occasional racial slur. But in all seriousness, the legacy left behind the great Irish revolutionaries is remarkable.

note down exactly what I need to do and when I need to do it. The app also

If history and culture aren’t quite up your alley, then I suggest a visit to the

allows me to keep track of how many task I’ve completed and whether or not

Guinness Storehouse. Even if you’re not that into the dark stuff (it's ruby

I’ve completed them on time. If any tasks are overdue then an email is sent

red FYI), it’s still a pretty fun and interactive museum, so well worth a visit.

through to remind me.

Another tourist hotspot is the Temple Bar, which is an area on the bank of

Now I really can say I’m too busy to do anything but, think of all the time I can spend thinking on stuff that needs to get done but never does. Anyways, the bus has pulled up to uni, I’m off to have a pizza and jug from Momento before class.

the River Liffey that hosts an array of old school Irish pubs. Temple Bar is the place to be on a Friday night, with small, ancient pubs that are exactly how you imagine them to be in your head. In Dublin, you have plenty to learn about during the day, and equal opportunity to forget it all that night. But something that will have a lasting impression on you is the infectious Irish spirit.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

YWRC WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE

HARI KORERO TE MANA O TE PŌTI

MEL MARTIN

HANA-TE KOWHAI TREADAWAY OHIA

It’s time again for remembering Suffrage Day and the hard working women

I runga tonu i ngā ahuatanga o Mahuru Māori, e tika ana me noho pū tonu

who have fought, and protested, and argued, and debated their way to the

teneki pūrongo ki te reo rangatira.

way they wanted things to be for women. So I thought we’d talk a little about it.

E te iwi, he piiki pakanga kei te haere! Hei tērā wiki tutū ai te puehu torangapū

In 1893 we became the first country to allow female voters, thanks to the

tauira o Te Whare Wānanga o Waikato. Ia tau, ia tau ka hau mai a Ngati Hiakai

Suffrage Movement led by Kate Sheppard. As a nation we thought this was

ki te Kaupapa ki te whakapuaki i o rātou whakaaro, i o rātou kare-ā-roto

such a momentous achievement that we honoured it by chucking Kate on

mo ngā tini take o te whare wānanga. I tēnei wāhanga o te tau, ka ka kaha

our $10 note. She’s as important to us as Alexander Hamilton is to the United

whaiwhai ngā kaitono i ngā pōti Māori. He hika mā, kaua e aro atu ki ngā

States! (For context: SUPER important according to current Broadway musical

kōrero kikokore ā ētahi, ērangi titiro ki a ratou mahi i ngā hāpori tauira Māori,

theatre playlists.)

aro hoki kit e wairua tōmau o roto. Tukuna tō pōti ki a rātou mā ku a kaha

We still refer to Kate and her friends though as “suffragettes”. I’m not a big

hāpai, ku a kaha tautoko i ngā tauira Māori i mua i ngā pōtitanga.

fan of the word “suffragette”. According to a quick google of ‘suffragette

Hei tāpiri atu, kua roa nei te wā ku a noho noa te tūranga Tumuaki Tuarua

definition’ the word is currently defined as meaning “a woman seeking the

Māori, hei Māori takitahi i runga i te pōari tauiwi o WSU. Ahakoa kei reira

right to vote through organised protest. Which is true even though women no

ngā ringa awhina o ngā rōpū Māori, me ētahi kaimahi Māori, i te nuinga o te

longer need to seek the right to vote.

wā he hīkoi mokemoke tēnei. Ki a kaua ngā Māori e tū mo te tūranga kotahi,

And once upon a time, the suffix ‘-ette’ was pretty commonly plonked onto the end of just about any word to express that the subject was little, inferior, or womanly. So, while suffrage as a movement has had many notable triumphs over the years, we cannot boast total gender equality, nor pay equality in New Zealand’s workplaces. It has been 123 years since New Zealand became not only the first country in the world to allow females the right to vote in

me whakarerea tēnei mātāpono. Ki a kaua mātou e noho takitahi ki tēnei ao tauiwi, erangi me whakamāori ake i te ao tauiwi, ki a kokiri ngātahi i runga i te whakaaro kotahi. Me tūtū a Ngai Māori ki te katoa o ngā tūranga, ka tika. E kapi katoa ana te mata i taku kitenga i a Ngai Māori e aru ana i te tūranga Tumuaki Tuarua, i ngā tūranga director hoki. E hoa mā, me kaha tautoko mātou i ngā Māori e whai tūranga ana ki te poari, he wero kaita tēnei. Tēnā koa tukuna o ringa awhina, ki a marino te hikoi.

Parliamentary elections, but also the first country in the British Empire to elect

Hei tērā tau, ko taku tino hiahia he kite i tētahi Māori ki te tūru o te Tumuaki,

a female Mayor. (Elizabeth Yates, Mayor of Onehunga, 1893.)

o te pouhere o WSU. Hei reira tino kite ai tātou i ngā panonitanga hei

Yet, in 2016 we are still campaigning for simple things like the idea that a woman might be paid as much as a man in context of the work they do.

N.22 / V.48

SUCCESS

whakawhanake i ngā tauira Māori o te whare wānanga nei. Ko te tino pātai inaianei, mā wai taua mānuka e kawe?

Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

COOKING WITH UNCLE YAM EDIBLE SADNESS INGREDIENTS

DIRECTIONS

1 Packet of Uncle Ben's Brown Rice

1. Hit rock bottom.

9. Cover it in enough mayo to drown your feelings.

2. Tear the corner of the Uncle Benâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s packet as

10. Choke back the tears as you go to use her

Low Self Worth 2 Cans of Sealord Lemon Pepper Tuna

gently as she tore your heart.

favourite fork.

3. Slam that glorious bag of rice into your microwave.

11. Enjoy your meal.

Pain and Suffering

4. Take a deep breath and repress your feelings.

12. Turn the shower to searing hot just to ensure that

A bunch of Bestfoods Mayonnaise

5. Radiate rice for 2 minutes.

you can still feel pain, embrace your inner sadness

6. Pull out the super hot bag of rice without flinching

and spend half an hour in the shower wondering

Neglect

as youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve become numb to external sources of pain. 7. Put the rice in a bowl. 8. Crack open the tuna and mix it with the rice

what she is doing and who she is doing it with until you make yourself so sad it is no longer possible to pleasure yourself.

like your existential lifestyle mixed with your

13. Cry yourself to sleep.

perception of reality.

14. Repeat.

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

WINNER

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

She studies HR and likes guitar, gym and bitching to her flatmates (according to one of her flatmates). She also apparently has no uni on Mondays or Fridays which we personally think is a total injustice. He is a “guy looking to date a girl”. A third year BMS student in Economics and Finance and, confusingly enough, a “younger version of Angelina Jolie”. He finished his email with “I'm a pro French kisser”. Will he manage to show her his skills?

HE SAID

SHE SAID

Without a doubt she was the most beautiful girl I have had the

At first I was very apprehensive to go on the blind date. After my

pleasure of going out with. Definitely a 10 with a very pretty face

friends believed it was time for me to get back in the game, they

and a great body to go with it. So thanks Nexus mag for setting me

kindly volunteered on my behalf. I was so nervous that I literally

up with someone that is way out of my league and the free food and

almost had a mental break down. My flatmate drove me to House

drink was great too!

and chaperoned me inside where my date was waiting with a beer.

This was the perfect girl to take out to dinner but not just because she looked great. It was her personality that won me over. She constantly smiled and seemed as though she was happy to be there

He looked friendly and approachable so my nerves quickly died. The conversation flowed nicely as we talked about travel, uni and his current bulking regime.

and have a good time. This honey even laughed at some of my jokes

I sipped on a top of the house Sav looking classy af and ordered the

which I can assure you are very lame. I was nervous to go there as

smoked chicken pizza and fries. To be fair this was a bad decision

I had no idea what to expect but conversation flowed very well. We

as I am dairy and wheat intolerant but I didn’t want to look like

also flew through the tab with food and drink very quick.

a high maintenance white girl. This obviously worked because

So to finish up we went for a walk down Victoria St and had a good chat. We hugged at the end, and I feel like she was almost

he kept saying I had ‘good features’ almost like I was a type of refrigerator model (I am almost sure this was a compliment).

keen for kiss, who really knows. I was certainly hoping for one but

We started running out of conversation (my flatmate would be really

annoyingly made it awkward because I was on the phone to my ride

proud of me because I didn’t default back to the topic of my bowel

at the time. Hopefully she will be keen to hang out another time.

movements) so I decided to use the remedy used by white girls across the world when faced with an awkward situation: Tequila shots. I wouldn’t say sparks were flying and there wasn’t any real connection there but he was nice and easy going guy and I had a good time. I’m sorry white boy, Jungle Fever is incurable…

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

HOROSCOPES

WORDFIND

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19) Your starsign is the most adventurous and caring of them all, except unfortunately, it’s not. Because thanks to NASA, this probably isn’t even your star sign any more. AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18) Don’t forget to vote in the local elections. Luckily you can make an informed choice this time around, because unlike the rest of your life, right now “it’s time to be wise”. PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20) Planet Jupiter is in orbit for your sign this week. As god of the waters and seas, all mighty Jupiter calls for you to skinny-dip in his honour. ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) A coffee truck is estimated to be running in Hamilton East next week, but shit, what do I know? I’m just a random cluster of stars conveniently arranged. TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Two truths, one lie. The Flat Earth Society are right. The planets don’t orbit the earth. Horoscopes aren’t real.

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) When newspapers began reporting on an Australian man eating only potatoes for an entire year, they didn’t realise that’s a standard student diet. Fries, hashbrowns, vodka. CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Porn parodies of your favourite horoscopes: penis becomes increasingly prominent in the western sky, making a striking conjunction with Saturn. LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22) Here’s a shout out to everyone taking the Pop Culture paper here at Uni. Good on you for having the balls to increase your student loan, while decreasing your employability. VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22) Make a mental note this week: before spouting off about your expansive gym regime, while it’s impressive and exciting for you no one else gives a shit. LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22) If you’ve been focusing on irrelevant pop-culture, like the breakup of Brad Pitt’s marriage, let me remind you that there are only 30 sleeps until exams start. SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21) Mercury is low in the west this evening, correlating to the likelihood that you catch hepatitis when you’re next stabbed with a bloody knife (also likely, because of Mercury). SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21) Mercury is low in the east tomorrow morning, yes after being low in the west yesterday, because, you know, that’s how the Earth’s rotations work. 32

N.22 / V.48

SUCCESS

SIMPLE PUZZLES 4 SIMPLE PEOPLE

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUDOKU 8

7 7 8

7 3

6 9

EASY

3 4

4 4

MEDIUM

TRIVIAL

3 1

6 8

4 8

2 6

9 2

HARD

CODE CRACKER

a) What is the house number of the Simpsons? b) How long is the Great Wall of China?

17 1

3 18

10 1

25 2

c) In what year did princess diana die? 17

d) What is the most fractured human bone? e) What is the largest number of five digits?

22 5

WORD TWIST

23 9

19 23

4. B

5. M

ANSWERS

3. K

26 23

15 11

15 14

26 9

23 25

8 12

Code Cracker

1. W 2. F

Trivial

15. T

a word.

14. L

used more than once in

a) Number 742

diagonally and cannot be

7. Q 8. V 9. N 10. C

6. S

11. D 12. H 13. Z

b) 4000 miles

c) 1997

26.O

25.P

horizontally, vertically or

19. U 20.A

The letters must touch

24.E

18. R

make from these letters?

23.I

22.Y

16. G 17. J

How many words can you

21. X

d) Clavicle

e) 99999

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Use it.

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