Nexus 2015 Issue 23 by Nexus Magazine

N.23 / V.47

20 Education & Mental Health This feature started as a piece by Jules Craft in which he essentially bagged on the schooling system for not preparing people to deal with life. Brittany is training to be a high school teacher and is sick as fuck of people claiming that education is the be all and end all of causing and solving society’s problems. So she ripped it to fucking shreds and put it back together with her own thoughts. Sorry Jules.

Anxiety & Depression: The Friends Nobody Needs

R LOU CO IN! ME

How to Deal Let’s be honest, sometimes life fucking sucks.

This is probably one of the hardest pieces

Mental Health issues affect all of us in some shape

of writing I’ve ever put into words, but I feel

or form. But at least we don’t have to do it alone;

like it needs to be told. There is giant stigma

friends and whanau will rally around loved ones in

around mental illness and hopefully my story

times of need. There’s also plenty of info out there

will aid others in dealing with the hectic life

these days to help you deal with it on your own too.

that is University, and show people who are

Below are some everyday, honest tips for supporting

suffering that you can make it to through

friends and whanau through rough patches, and

three years of University.

most importantly, how to help yourself.

NEXUS NEWS

Meet Your Candidates

Beware of the Dog?

Pope Visits America, Does Stuff

Laneway Lineup Drops

A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE Bad Fashion

THE SINGLE LIFE When They Have No Follow Through

HE PUNA KŌRERO

Editor Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editors Alix Higby, Jules Craft Managing Editor James Raffan

National Māori Moots News Editor Sam Marelich

AUNTY SLUT Begging For Pegging

NEW LOCALS Diary of an Outsider

COOKING FOR STUDENTS

Contributors Elaine Gyde, Alexander Nebesky, Chris Reive, Chris Kader, Jared Wooldridge, Caitlin Orton, Hp, Tania Collins, Peter Dornauf, Dr. Richard Swainson, Ria Holmes, Kelsie Morland, Rachael Elliot, Emma Nygard, Jess Wilson, Aunty Slut, Shalini Guleria, Zac Lyon Cover Artwork Ben Long www.facebook.com/HeliosDesignsNZ

BBQ Chicken Drumsticks

Photography Sara-lena White Illustration Tayla-Dee Kelly

REVIEWS

ENTERTAINMENT

ARTS

AUTEUR

SNAPPED

BLIND DATE

Advertising Andrew James aj@wsu.org.nz Offices Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton Online nexusmag.co.nz facebook.com/nexusNZ

ISSUE 23 26

PUZZLES

YOUR SPACE

05 OCTOBER 2015

Barrie Babes: Silverdale

MENTAL HEALTH

Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE

Mental Note Brittany Rose

In 2013, my first year at UoW, I went to the Student Health Centre because I was tired ALL OF THE TIME. No amount of coffee, nor sleep was getting me through my (retrospectively straightforward) 100 level papers and part time retail job. The doctor did some tests, asked some questions and referred me to a psychologist. After chatting to the psychologist for a few sessions, I was informed that I was living in a highly strung

In my third year here at University of Waikato, I am three

state of stress and anxiety. Because I was feeling a god-billion

quarters of the way through my degree, and I’m the happiest

times better than I had in the previous years I had no idea that

I’ve ever been. Well, maybe happy is a misnomer, because

I wasn’t anywhere near where I could be. I learnt strategies and

nothing quite beats being deadline-free, in a bikini, sipping

I formed positive habits. Deep breathing to relax, visualisation

bubbly wine with friends and family. To be more precise, I’m

strategies to make constant worries chill out and a colour coding

more confident and filled with purpose than I’ve ever been

organisational system to rival Monica from Friends. I became

before. And it’s a fantastic feeling.

~mostly~ satisfied, driven and happy.

Once upon a time I was a wreck, a hot mess, a bundle of fucking

In this Mental Health issue our writers give tips for living with

nerves that would explode into anger or despair in a heartbeat.

anxiety, insomnia and depression from the inside, and how to

Without boring you with the unnecessary details I can explain

live with another who’s dealing with it. Kelsie Morland shares her

that I was experiencing a metric shit-tonne of heartbreak

personal experience navigating life at uni with frenemies Anxiety

and grief while failing miserably to take responsibility for my

and Depression; and Jules Craft is fed up with how our society

decisions and behaviours. It sucked. I was not equipped to

and culture are inadequately enabling people to work on — and

handle stress and anxiety, I barely slept and cried often.

respond to — mental health pressures.

My mental health is a continuous project, and one that — if I

Uni is hard. Being a student is challenging, and exams are just

ignore it — can plummet to C- territory. Even with an academic

around the corner. Look after yourself, ask for help, and if you

transcript to be proud of, a shitty mental health grade has

can: try to be a positive influence on others. Support your peers

disastrous consequences for day-to-day stuff like washing my

and encourage people to be as mentally healthy as they can be.

hair, putting on pants or feeling good about myself.

YOU’VE GOT THIS.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

Dem Girls

Watch Me Whip

Anon

Mr Wilkins

As an outside observer I have noticed that the girls involved in producing and

Dear Nexus

delivering the nexus are exceptional talented.

Do you think it would be possible to get the odd visit from Mr. Whippy

If it wasn’t for them I dunno where it would be, if it was me id try to hold onto my

with this fine weather about I think it’s called for, even though I’m lactose

good workers and reward them, and sift out the riff raff who knows what heights

intolerant.....It’d be worth it!

you could reach. But what do I know I’m a simpleton!

UoW lol MIA: Cultural Hour

The Peoples Champ

To whom it may concern,

Anon

The high elo king of summoners rift is seeking new competition to better I wanted to go to the candidate debate today but I couldn’t because I have a

his god like mechanical play to perfection and laugh at futile attempts to

compulsory tutorial schedule in Cultural hour. I have spoken to other people in

dethrone him as the UoW lol (league of legends) champion of the world.

different degrees and this is happening to a few of them. I thought the whole point of cultural hour was to build a culture on campus so we could do things with clubs or go to debates. Can someone find out if they have actually gotten rid of cultural hour all together because otherwise I will never again get free food from some club wanting to hand

If you consider yourself worthy and ranked diamond or upwards your challenge for the title could be accepted as soon as today! To apply, add ‘peopleschamprob’ on your OCE lol client and wait approval for the greatest opportunity of your life.

me pamphlets about their religion.

Where’d all the good students go?

Vote, Vote, Vote! Anon

I urge you all to vote in the WSU Elections this Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Now not only is the WSU President the head of the board of

The Good Student

the WSU but they are now your Student Member on Council. This means Why are lecturer’s so surprised that no one goes to class in the last weeks of semester? This happens every semester… don’t quiz the students who are still turning up about it cos it’s just annoying and do you want me to stop turning up?! Cos I dunno if you’ve noticed but the weather has been really good lately…

Lettuce?

that they will be the one at Council meetings making sure that your thoughts and circumstances are considered. The board of directors also serve as your elected representatives so make sure you weigh in on who they are. The elections are online so you don’t even have to find a booth. Go forth and participate!

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you

Will Write for Free Food

give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit

I heard an urban legend that Nexus used to give away UniMart vouchers for

to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves

“Lettuce of the week”.

the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or

Where that at?

hate speech. Email your lettuce to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Soprano Eliza Boom won top prize of $5000 at the Dame Malvina Major Foundation Dunedin Aria finals.

ONYA

HITTING THE HIGH NOTES

CYBER CHAMPS Nicholas Shaw, Swikrit Khanal and Tim Hampton (far right) were the winning team out of 150 people at the New Zealand Cyber Security Challenge.

GOLDEN EXPLORER Golden Jubilee scholar Nicholas Humphries became an Antarctic Youth Ambassador for the Sir Peter Blake Trust and is going to Antarctica to build an eLearning app.

APPROACHING THE BENCH Hillary scholar Natalie Foster (left) and Angela Vanderwee are two of MUST LOVE GOATS

six law students from around New

Doctoral student Melissa Hempstead has been awarded a

Zealand who’ve won judge’s clerk

stipend of $30,000 from AgResearch to carry out a PhD on dairy

positions at the Auckland High Court.

goat welfare. Full stories available on the University website. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz — thanks to those who’ve sent in their stories.

WE’RE HIRING

WHAT TO DO NEXT YEAR…

Want to speed up your degree, catch up

Do you like working with people and want a

Thinking about postgrad study? Come to

or try something new? Summer school

flexible job that works around your study?

an info session in Hamilton on Thursday

kicks off on 9 November and there are

We’re looking for a group of enthusiastic

8 October, 5-6.30pm, Academy of

lots of papers to choose from in Hamilton,

students to be paid Student Ambassadors

Performing Arts, or Tauranga on Tuesday

Tauranga or online. Discuss your options at

for 2016. Student Ambassadors represent

3 November, 5.30-7pm, Tauranga ASB

your faculty reception, the Student Centre,

the University at events around the country

Arena, to find out about your options

Hamilton, or the Information Centre at

and meet with prospective students and

and ask questions.

Windermere Campus or Bongard Centre,

their parents to tell them about everything

Tauranga. More info at waikato.ac.nz/

Waikato has to offer. Apply now at

study/enrolsummer/

waikato.ac.nz/go/ambassadors

TO BUS OR NOT TO BUS

UNI APPAREL SALE!!

GRADE SCALE CHANGE IN 2016

How do you get to campus, and is this likely

Get your hands on a University hoodie

The University’s changing its grading scale

to change with the introduction of parking

and other apparel at the clothing sale this

to the same percentage-to-letter-grade

charges next year? Share your thoughts to

Thursday 8 October, 10am-2pm on the

scale as other New Zealand universities,

help inform future planning by taking the

Village Green, Hamilton campus. Nothing

from 1 January 2016. More information and

University’s Commuting Questionnaire at

over $35 — one day only. Cash and eftpos

a conversion table are available at waikato.

bit.ly/1h4weGL — it only takes a few minutes.

accepted. No pre-sales.

ac.nz/go/grading-scale

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

YOUR SUMMER STARTS HERE

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEXUS NEWS NEWS FEATURE – NGA PITOPITO KŌRERO

MEET YOUR CANDIDATES Elaine Gyde and Alix Higby

On Wednesday of last week, the WSU held an event to introduce the candidates for

is. He’s a connected and well-liked guy. He also wants to focus his student union

next year’s board of directors. About 50 democratically-inclined students turned

board on change and unity.

up to Level Zero during cultural hour to tune in to 16 hastily put together scripts. With most candidates speaking off the cuff, the candid atmosphere allowed the experience and capabilities of each individual to shine through. Those who were unprepared and had little experience in governance had comparatively little to say, where as current board members, such as Kale and Charlotte, were comfortable expressing their opinions and view for the union. This year’s line-up sees a clear divide between those who know exactly what they want to achieve and those who are willing and eager to learn.

Current WSU President, and last year’s VP, Shannon Stewart follows Indula’s impassioned speech. Unbelievably, she’s possibly just as impassioned, if not more. She’s obviously seen some shit this year. Stewart sees the value in our clubs community and wants to see it grow. She also knows the WSU already offers a great range of services and wants to see these pushed to students even further. An extra van for club trips and driving drunk students into town wouldn’t go amiss either. Actually, Stewart had quite a lot to say, and definitely went over her allocated time slot.

First on the mic was William Lewis, who had to dash off to another meeting. He’s very busy, you see. Standing uncontested (come on guys, did no one else apply?) for Vice-President, William needs only 1 vote to secure the seat. He stressed he’s gunning for more financial accountability, and further support for the WSU clubs network.

Next up, were the candidates for VP Māori. Hana-Te Kowhai Ohia began with a rendition of Fresh Prince, and believes she has the right connections to Māori roopū and contributes that “feminine” touch to the role. Her Channing Tatum posters in the women’s bathrooms derive laughter and applause. Anthony Rawiri

Indula Jayasundara, current board member and President of the Waikato

also emphasises his connections to local iwi, “Tainui hard” he says as he gestures

International Students Association, took the stage by dropping copies onto the

to the logo emblazoned on his chest. He agrees with Shannon that the WSU

audience’s laps of his proposal for 2016 — should he win the presidency. Clearly

needs to promote their clubs, and wants to see Māori succeed on campus. The

he has thought long and hard about his bid, and the giant chalk likeness outside

third contender for Māori Vice-President is Winara Levi whose spirited approach

the library last Thursday shows how wide-reaching and talented his support base

actually disconnects the microphone. Fortunately, he has a strong presence and

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEWS – KAWEPŪRONGO speaks from the heart — vowing to look out for students and always have an open door policy, when he gets that door. Eleven candidates are left to battle it out for the remaining eight positions on the board. Two of which are looking to be re-elected, three have been involved in a volunteer capacity, and six are fresh faces. Charlotte Sanson and Kale Isaac joined the board mid-way through 2015 to fill vacated slots and seem to be campaigning on a similar issue. They want students to get involved, they want everyone to take part in the voting process, and they want a transparent WSU. Kale pushes a more social agenda, as President of the Snowsports club he’s organised a few events this year. He also hangs out in Level Zero for the Charlotte on the other hand has no agenda but to push the very notion

BEWARE OF THE DOG?

of democracy. Vote, vote, vote! She’s not asking you to vote for her

Alexander Nebesky

free coffee so you’re more than welcome to approach him for a yarn.

(although that would be ideal) she’s just asking you to participate in the voting process. Smooth.

The New Zealand Association of Plastic Surgeons has released data showing 99,000

On the volunteer front, we have Troy Anderson, Jordan Smith, and

reported dog bites in the last 10 years. The report has predictably been used by the

Brianna Morgan. Troy and Jordan were here early Monday-Friday

New Zealand Media and on-air personalities to call for bans on certain dog breeds.

during both orientation weeks putting in the hard yards, Brianna got

Heroic representative of all right-thinking New Zealanders, Mike Hosking, gave the

involved in Re-O. Troy’s tasted how good the student union life can

hard word on an episode of 7 Sharp saying, “bad dogs and bad owners are to blame.”

be (lol) and he wants to do more. Jordan wants to see more directors

Bad dogs, Hosking went on to explain are bulldogs, rottweilers, and staffordshires.

getting involved in WSU events and interacting with students one-on-

It’s a sentiment echoed by David Oliver, whose son was bitten on the face in 2011, he

one. Brianna wants your voices to be heard. While veterans in the fun

believes that large dogs should have to wear muzzles in public, “Those figures are way

side of staff operations, they admit they have little to no experience on

too high. I can see the potential for what could happen and how quickly it can happen,

the governance side.

so that frightens me.”

The fresh faces include Shalini Guileriaria, Brad Fulcher (not in

Do the media critics have a point?

attendance), Patience Ngara, William Morris, Kaelyn Kingi (not in attendance), and Winara Levi (who is running for Māori VP and Director positions). Shalini paints herself as a people person who wants to overcome the barrier between international and domestic Waikato

Of the reported incidents 5,000 required either surgery or resulted in ACC claims for worker compensation. Which means that close to two dog bites per day for the last ten years can be regarded as “significant.”

students. Patience uses a personal anecdote of her dissatisfaction with

However, Director of Bark New Zealand, Heather Laanbroek, believes that dogs

the campus as a platform for wanting to make this a better culture for

hurting children, especially when the dogs are in groups, are an issue “that no bylaw

students. William Morris is new to the uni but plans to stick around for

is going to address.”

a while (maybe do his PhD), and appears to carry a lot of real world experience along with the tattoos and waistcoats the board has been missing. Winara Levi took to the stage for the third time to remind

“We believe it’s about education around dog behaviour that’s going to change the dog bite statistics in New Zealand.”

everyone that he is also running for director, so if you could please vote

Provided proper socialisation and discipline any dog has the capacity to be a loving

for him once then that would be great.

and gentle pet. If neglected, or worse, mistreated, any breed has the propensity to

Actually, in the words of Charlotte Sanson, please just vote. Full stop. Following the success of this year’s bi-election the voting process is completely online. All you need to do is flick to the candidates page at the back of this issue to find the link to the voting portal. Sign in, tick a few boxes, and you’re away. Here’s to democracy!

maul a child. The issue is that “ferocious” dog breeds are often kept as status symbols, not as pets or working animals, and if these breeds were to be banned, those who keep them as status symbols would simply move on down the line until the humble Golden Retriever was being chained up in a backyard its entire life with no contact or training until it one day slips its collar and savages a 9 year old. Dogs do not know right from wrong unless they are taught boundaries by their owners. It is much the same with children who get bitten, in many situations they have not been taught what is appropriate around dogs — often tail and ear pulling becomes the order of business, to which a dog is likely to respond negatively. Perhaps the solution shouldn’t be the disposal of dog breeds but simple rules and education. Here are three we came up with: 1. Owners are responsible for training and socialising their dogs to prevent aggression. 2. Parents are responsible for educating their children on interacting with dogs. 3. Both owners and parents are responsible for supervising child-dog interactions. 5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS – KAWEPŪRONGO

LANEWAY LINEUP DROPS Elaine Gyde and Sam Marelich

With a lineup that includes Hudson Mohawke, Battles, Grimes, East India Youth (and) Flume (in the) Beach House / High Dependency Unit / CHVRCHES, the announcement is part culture drop, part list of words you can turn into highly entertaining sentences. Promising “left-field electronica, shambolic punk, intelligent pop and boundary pushing hip-hop” the Laneway PR team seem to have created some of the juiciest descriptors we’ve seen this year. Unfortunately Laneway has been a little kneecapped this year, with a search for a new venue proving unsuccessful and ultimately leading to a return to Silo Park. With open air summer movies, beautiful water views and a short walk to the best parts of the Auckland Central Business District, the surrounding area is seeing extensive residential development. Big corporates have also been on the action that follows the surrounding area with Air New Zealand, Fonterra and ASB Bank building large corporate headquarters in the area.

POPE VISITS AMERICA, DOES STUFF

As a cultural tour de force that is visiting Singapore, Auckland, Adelaide,

Elaine Gyde

is torn about Laneway — we’re all pinching pennies to get our tickets

Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and Perth, Laneway gets around. Nexus ASAP, but it’s also a bit of a bummer that we don’t have a festival like

Having dazzled the world as the coolest pontiff for a long time, Pope Francis has just concluded his trip to the United States, where he visited Washington DC, New York and Philadelphia. His packed itinerary included a speech to Congress, a personal meeting with President Obama as well as canonising Junipero Serra — one of the first Catholic missionaries from Spain who served the early church in California. Most interestingly, it’s been confirmed that the Pope met privately with Kim Davis — the county clerk in Kentucky who defied a court order to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. Davis is a divisive character in the United States — a staunch Christian with strong religious views on the value of marriage, despite being divorced three times. In New York the Pope delivered a speech to the General Assembly at the United Nations and a multi-denominational service at the 9/11 memorial, as well as visiting schools in Harlem and cruising through Central Park in the Pope Mobile. Philadelphia was more relaxed still, with the Pope delivering masses as well as meeting with bishops. The arrival of the Pope state-side has claimed to have triggered survivors of past Catholic clergy sex abuse, a long avoided topic by the Vatican in general. The pope made remarks to the victims during his speech in Washington — referring to the scandal not as abuse, but as “difficult moments”, yet acknowledging that the church will “work to ensure that such crimes will never be repeated”. Overall the trip seemed to piss off almost everybody. Conservative Republicans continue to stew at the fiery condemnation the Pope has dished out towards modern corporate capitalism, as well as his views on immigration (the Argentinian born Pope is the son of Italian immigrants). Liberal Democrats who widely championed Gay Marriage reform have been put in an awkward position through the support of Davis, as a key example of conscientious objection. One things for sure — Fox News called it right when they said, “this isn’t your Grandpa’s pope anymore.”

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

this down in the Tron. Paging Hamilton City Council — how about you do something cool for a change?

Sports NEXUS MAGAZINE

SPORTS OPINION – PITOPITO KORERO HAKINAKINA

HIGH FIVE – NGA TAKE E RIMA

THIRST-QUENCHING SUMMER SPORTS Golf Golf is great. You don’t have to be good at it, and if you really need an incentive: you can play cana-hole and make several drinking games up as you go along. Tennis Tennis is a good sport to play over the summer because games can take a while — you can work on

EVERYTHING’S BETTER AFTER A RUN Chris Reive

your tan while you play. To maintain hydration, keep a brew by the net to drink each change of ends. Backyard Cricket Get a crew together, fire up the barbie, crack a

In keeping with Mental Health Week, I’ve decided to give some exercise related tips to

few beers and get way into the game. Fun for

being happier, you’ve no doubt heard them before.

boys and girls alike.

Simply put, if you are feeling down or stressed or anxious, you should do something to make yourself sweat and get some endorphins flowing through your veins. Any high intensity sport, running, or even sex can cause your body to release

Lawn Bowls

endorphins into your body.

There are a butt load of summer leagues around

What are endorphins? Well, I’m not a scientist, but essentially they’re chemicals that

that you can join. As long as you know the right

run through your body telling your inner workings that you feel good.

way to hold the bowls you’ll be fine. Get your

Like I said, I’m not a scientist.

drinks and soak in the sun.

But in my travels, I have found that running is a great way to get endorphins flowing and to somewhat convince myself that life isn’t all bad — even if just for a moment.

Basketball

I’m not a scientist, but I’m also not a trained therapist, however what works for me,

One of my all time favourite summer activities is

might work for you. If you’re struggling with stress, anxiety or depression, I would

shooting hoops before a night of drinking; it’s the

recommend that — if you can — you try running. Take these factors into consideration:

perfect foreplay to a good night out.

• Find a nice environment: If you run in a place that is visually appealing and doesn’t have a mass of background noise, the actual run seems less tedious. If you get tired, take a break and look around. Personally, I run at the lake because water is good for my soul and Hamilton doesn’t have a beach.

SHOULD IT BE A SPORT? – ME HURI HEI HAKINAKINA?

• Don’t worry about pace or distance: If you’re just starting out, you don’t want to over-do it and put yourself off. It helps to just keep going for as long as you can at a pace you’re comfortable with. Over time, you’ll be able to go further and for longer, it’s all about making sure you get out there. • Listen to music that makes you happy: Not everyone likes to listen to music on the run, but I find it helps you to keep your mind off whatever is troubling you. Put together a playlist of songs you love, and songs that will keep you going, and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other. I encourage singing/mouthing along with the songs if you’re getting tired — I find it gives you more energy. I’m not a pro or anything, but endorphins are lovely and (briefly) help the world look like a better place.

QUIDDITCH Quidditch is only a sport in the same way that some people refer to debating or chess as sports. We honestly couldn’t tell you a single

SAFE BET – PĒTI WHITA

person who plays it, but we get the feeling that it’s a pastime mainly populated by virgins and fan fiction writers who believe Hermione was

Safe Bet Chelsea to finish in the top 6 of the EPL, $1.01

Harry’s real true love. It’s not even the good kind of pretending, they run

Bit of a Risk Pittsburgh Steelers to win the AFC North Division, $2.70

around with brooms between their legs.

Long Shot Philadelphia 76ers to win the 2015/16 NBA Title, $251

Should it be a sport? Let us know what you think editor@nexusmag.co.nz 7

NEXUS MAGAZINE Left vs. Right

SUGAR TAX New Zealand is one of the fattest nations in the world - costing the taxpayer billions in additional healthcare costs as well as handicapping our businesses with lost productivity. One proposal to help solve this issue is to tax food and drinks that have high sugar contents. This has not been taken seriously until recently, with Mexico implementing a tax on soft drinks that has so far been effective. A new poll by medical professionals shows renewed support for a sugar tax, placing the item firmly on the agenda again.

LEFT – MAUI

RIGHT – MATAU

Well, I don’t know if it’s a particularly partisan subject, and I don’t have any

There are good reasons to say no to taxing sugar — it’s yet another regressive

special passion for it, but badgering the (presumed) poor over their presumably

tax on the poor, another freedom denied from the general public and yet

poor lifestyle choices appears to be popular with the New Zealand public.

another triumph of the nanny state as it strives to control even more petty

The perennial calls for a tax on sugar, in this case, a tax on extremely sugary

aspects of our lives.

drinks, seem to be falling on increasingly sympathetic ears. A National Heart Foundation and Cancer Society poll from June this year shows an 8 percent increase — to 52% — in support from respondents over the last poll from February 2014.

The liberal do gooders who sit high and mighty on the left, sure have some hypocritical views when it comes to tax and who should pay for it. They don’t give a shit about poor people (despite their various Facebook posts that claim to the contrary). Satisfied with the comforts of upper middle class life, they

First things first, Pigouvian taxes on junk food, not to mention other vices like

are more than happy to drag the ladder up behind them. The statistics don’t

cigarettes, seem to work fairly well. The very substantial excise on cigarettes

lie — poor people are more likely to smoke, drink and be overweight than those

has lead to a steady decrease in consumption in New Zealand, and similar

in the upper middle class. Rather than push for policy that helps the poor, our

initiatives dealing specifically with soft drinks have worked overseas. Coupled

liberal friends decide that what will benefit them most is another tax — if you

with exemptions for healthy foods, people could be pushed to make healthier

are poor enough that a $1 pie is the most you spend on lunch, well we think you

(from the government’s perspective, less externality-producing) eating choices.

should pay $1.50.

Since the policy passes muster with regards to efficacy, and isn’t at all unpopular, it seems like about the safest bit of technocratic tinkering you could hope to propose. Sure, it would be un-fun for those who have picked this particular indulgence as their way of taking the edge off, but that’s the whole point, obviously.

something profoundly uninspiring about an increasingly complex web of taxes and tax-exemptions governing a land of food deserts, endemic policy and heart attack-inducing local fare. While the idea of a tax on sugar or fat or salt is innocuous, and the right’s tendency to ‘care’ about micromanaging the poor only when some mega corp’s profits are threatened merits sardonic laughter, it would be nice to have something more fun being pushed on us for our own good.

N.23 / V.47

questions: 1. Does this person actually give a shit about poor people? And no, signing petitons on change.org do not count.

As I mentioned earlier though, there’s nothing particularly progressive, and

Next time someone comes at you, arguing for a sugar tax, ask yourself a few

MENTAL HEALTH

2. Is this person wealthy enough to afford all organic everything?

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

FILM REVIEW – AROTAKENGA KIRIATA

PIXELS

LAST CAB TO DARWIN

Jared Wooldridge

Richard Swainson

Adam Sandler. Oh, Adam Sandler, how you have fallen, whilst still

As a melodrama and a road movie and as a serio-comic look

getting stinking rich. Once upon a time you made one or two

at race relations across the ditch, Last Cab to Darwin isn’t half

movies that were actually funny. Hell, you even did some dramatic

bad. The story could be lifted from Homer: a quest across a

stuff, and you were good at it! How have we gotten to the point

great distance in which the narrative hero encounters friends

of you making Pixels? It’s just terrible! What sounds like a great

and foes and has adventures, reaching his destination eventually

concept on paper just becomes another run-of-the-mill Sandler

but discovering when he gets there that his goals have changed.

movie on screen. It seems they’re counting on nostalgia of the

Max is in mid-60s and dying of cancer: not wanting to spend his

1980s video-game characters to help you forgive the ‘humour’.

last days alone in hospital he elects to drive over 3,000 kms from

The concept is an interesting one, though, and that fact does help the movie a little. Aliens begin invading Earth with 80s

his small town in New South Wales to Darwin to take advantage of the Northern Territory’s new euthanasia laws.

arcade game characters after misinterpreting said games as

The problem with the film is not so much the acting, the story-

a declaration of war. A crack team is put together, including

telling or even the gently conventional thematic. Michael Caton,

Sandler and his buddy Kevin James (as the president. Not sure if

best known in this country as the father in the cult comedy The

I can swallow that one). They take on the aliens together, which

Castle, is superb as the dying cabbie, and the aboriginal actors

does lead to some pretty impressive action sequences, the best

Ningali Lawford, as Max’s neighbour and Mark Coles Smith, as

of which involves taking down Pac Man.

the ne’er-do-well he picks up on route, are also noteworthy.

It’s not enough, though, to save the movie. Watching it, you can see how it’s made by the same people who brought you both

Characters are well drawn and sympathetic, the scenery beautiful and the pace acceptable. Many will be moved.

Grown Ups movies. If you liked those, you might like this. I did

Unfortunately, Last Cab to Darwin is also a betrayal of the true

not like those. Sandler is a man-child again, Kevin James is a

story on which it is based. The real Max was denied the right to

bumbling idiot, the female characters are rendered very poorly,

die on his own terms and ended his life as he feared he would,

and the humour is ripped straight from all of Sandler’s worst

alone and in pain. To fictionalise these facts and misrepresent his

movies. Which, currently, is most of them. What could have

final choice is not just questionable, it’s immoral.

been a pretty good concept is buried beneath typical Sandler fare. My advice? Avoid.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Reviews

MUSIC REVIEW – AROTAKENGA WAIATA

FOOD REVIEW – AROTAKENGA KAI

DIE BY THE AXE BY DEATHNIR

DUCK ISLAND Caitlin Orton

Hamilton has a bit of a reputation of bringing out some of the

Spoiler Alert: There were no ducks.

best and heaviest rock music this country has to offer. Whether

After numerous recommendations from my flatmate I finally

that’s breakthrough four piece Devilskin, the rock and roll kings

gave in and we biked to Grey Street to give Duck Island ice

of H-Town, The Datsuns or the hardcore heroes of Hamtown

creams a go. Out of the variety of flavours we chose two called

Smackdown, Hamilton knows heavy. Lining up in this tradition is

‘Burnt Honey and Lavender’ and ‘Buttered Popcorn.’

Hamilton heavy metalers, Deathnir (pronounced Death-near), who after strong showings in the Battle of the Bands comp have arrived with their first full length album. It’s true to the traditions of riff heavy metal and varied enough to draw in rock fans across genres.

have ever had in my whole life. I don’t even care if I’m jumping on a bandwagon. I was entirely impressed. The best way to describe the ice-cream flavour is that it’s like

Opening track, The Summoning, displays Deathnir’s skill for

someone took some honey, burnt it slightly and then got a

rocking lead breaks and guitar driven traditional metal. Yes,

lavender plant and shoved them both into a blender with some

there are Satanic references, yes there are references to killing

ice cream before giving me a scoop. That is how realistic the taste

and dragons and all that has stood on the shoulders of metal

was. When that first spoonful touched my lips I couldn’t believe

gone before. And that’s just the opening track. Guitarist and

it. I thought it was a fluke. But it wasn’t. After exchanging scoops

vocalist Andrew Carter growls out his lyrics with the best of

like the cheesy couple that we are, I got to try my flatmate’s

them. The tempos change up too with tracks like Never Go

choice of Buttered Popcorn flavour. My response? See above.

filled with thrashing drums, while The Void is almost delicate in its introduction and maintains a ballad feel even when the distortion kicks in.

Apparently, Duck Island changes flavours regularly so there’s no way you can guarantee your favourite flavour will still be there tomorrow. This isn’t such a bad thing though, it just means you

For all those sludgy nights at Biddy’s where these guys were

have to savour the taste. The only reason my flatmate chose

onstage, getting their chops down and honing songs, this album

Buttered Popcorn is because I said his choice of Raspberry

is a real testament to their hard work. For those unaware of

Something-Or-Other was too tame. When a single scoop costs

Hamilton’s next generation of metal, well, let me proudly be the

four dollars you need to be a little experimental.

one to inform you; it lives on in Deathnir.

The catch? There isn’t one. This was the best ice cream that I

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

BOOK REVIEW – AROTAKENGA PUKAPUKA

SOULLESS BY GAIL CARRIGER

WILD DOGS UNDER MY SKIRT BY TUSIATA AVIA

Tania Collins

Brittany Rose

I’m not going to lie, this book was required reading for one of my

Wild Dogs Under My Skirt is a poetry anthology by an incredibly

English classes, but that fact does not detract from the fact that

talented New Zealand-Samoan writer. I include ethnicity

Soulless is actually a decent read.

— the fact that Avia is afakasi — because of the influence

I’m not usually into novels that feature supernatural elements but Soulless is well and cleverly written and does not take itself too seriously. Set in the Victorian era with werewolves and vampires featuring heavily, our heroine, Alexia, does not fit into the role

that her cultural background has on her content. The most obvious influence (aside from setting) is when she mimics the pronunciation of English words by her Samoan-fluent relatives alongside the inclusion of Samoan words and phrases.

society dictates for her. Instead she avoids being ‘traditionally’

Cutting ‘g’s for ‘k’s in a poem about being a “good kirl”, Avia

beautiful, is witty and can kick butt on her own — she does not

presents the advice given to her as a young girl, advice about

need a man to sweep in and save her. She does the saving all by

not sleeping “wif da bad boys”. It’s funny, amusing and sad all at

herself. That’s not to say that there isn’t a bit of tortured romance

the same time. This is in stark contrast to Shower — my personal

thrown into the mix for good measure.

favourite of the anthology — full of striking imagery, this poem is

Gail Carriger does an excellent job of writing a Jane Austen style

a next morning flashback to being fucked. Hard.

novel with a bit more punch. Soulless has the same comedy of

The titular poem is strong on the page, but even stronger when

manners feel to it that Pride and Prejudice had and I enjoyed the

read aloud by Avia, hit up YouTube if you’re interested. It’s

quirky wit. One of the more memorable moments comes early on

always well worth hearing poetry read by the poet who wrote it.

in the novel in the form of a vampire attack in which Alexia deems it to be bad manners to be attacking unannounced. Soulless was one of those novels which had the potential to be a disaster but which turned out to be a bit of a guilty pleasure for me.

Avia, like many New Zealand poets is published in a smattering of journals including Takahe and Turbine; but she’s also included in collections of NZ poetry claiming to display the best of the best. Obviously she’s considered good, and I’m inclined to agree.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment

HOROSCOPES – WHAKAKITENGA

Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)

Cancer (June 21 — July 22)

It’s normal to experience moments of uncertainty, but it’s

This week something unexpectedly adorable will

unhealthy to use these moments as an excuse to behave

happen and before you know it the outer corners of

like a piece of shit. If you’re feeling guilty — we read your

your mouth will break free from their bitch face prison.

mind and put your subconscious feelings in a horoscope.

Naw, is the Ice Queen beginning to thaw?

Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)

Leo (July 23 — August 22)

Tomorrow you should walk to class. Not just from Gate

There’s a real problem in today’s society where one asks

10, or even Hogan St — literally walk the entire distance

for advice and others actually respond with advice. This

between your bedroom and campus. You may stumble

is not okay. If someone asks you for advice today help

upon something you have been missing.

to justify their bad choices or just sit there quietly.

Pisces (February 19 — March 20)

Virgo (August 23 — September 22)

Don’t be stupid — you know he loves you. Don’t be

You know when you sit outside in the sun but it’s still

ridiculous — you know he needs you. Shania Twain is

really cold and your fingernails start going blue but

in, but only between 3-4am in the back of a cab while

you can’t give up because it’s spring so you’ll just try to

the driver is waiting for you to remember your address.

ignore the loss of feeling? That’s how he feels about you.

Aries (March 21 — April 19)

Libra (September 23 — October 22)

The nicest things you are for absolutely no reason.

“Forgetting” your eftpos card is the oldest trick in the

Conversely, the shittiest thing you can do to someone

book. That’s why it’s so effective, no one believes you’re

is reasonless also. Message: This week, if you’re going

lame enough to play that card — the same goes for classic

to be a cunt, sell it by never, ever explaining yourself.

pick-up lines, and dead grandmothers during exams.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)

Spit it out; be honest and upfront about your intentions

“Who am I?!” you cry. Laying up in bed will not solve

because she’s beginning to get suspicious. The

this existential issue. Go grab coffee with a friend —

moustache wax and bamboo toothbrush you “forgot”

it won’t help your personal development either, but

in her bathroom? Admit it. Admit that you’re a hipster.

there’s always the option to single white female her?

Gemini (May 21 — June 20)

Sagittatrius (November 22 — December 21)

Life is an adventure little Bilbo, yes sure, but your

Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life. You do

optimism is sometimes a little hard to comprehend. Sit

you, lil first year. Clubbing is your raison d’être and

down, shut up, and let your friends cry about fuck boys.

you’ll only realize your lack of edification and depth

Mercury is in retrograde, didn’t you know?!

through the experience of turning 23, nothing else.

WHAT’S HOT, WHAT’S NOT – NGA MEA PAI, ME NGA MEA KINO

WHAT’S HOT 1. Ending a day without swearing at someone 2. Light spring sunburn. *pun* 3. Not making fun of the vegan

WHAT’S NOT 1. Skorts. It’s getting warmer, so please. Don’t go there. 2. Asking for your assignment back at MSC. 3. People who say they are failing but really got a B. The fuck.

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

Entertainment NEXUS MAGAZINE

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME – KAUA AHAU E WHAKAHUATIA MO TĒNĀ

“I FEEL LIKE I LOOK LIKE A REAL SKATER HERE”

TRENDING ON TWITTER – NGA KORERO HIRA O PAE TĪHAU

#RUINANANIMATEDMOVIE Dave Rubin @RubinReport · Sep 30 Michael Bay has already done #RuinAnAnimatedMovie four times.

– Justin Bieber - Jackass

“ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER SLAY”

Maggie Mae Fish @MaggieMaeFish · Sep 30 FROZEN bank account. #RuinAnAnimatedMovie 29

Eric Schwartz @ericschwartz · Sep 30 #RuinAnAnimatedMovie Kim Possible Davis

– Professional songwriter Lady Gaga demonstrates A+ rhyming

“WHEN SOMEBODY ACTUALLY USES THEIR BODY AS A SORT OF TOOL, IT’S ALMOST SHOCKING.”

Jon Snow @LordSnow · Sep 30 Jorah the Explorer #RuinAnAnimatedMovie 245

379

– Peaches on 2015 audiences

YIK YAK OF THE WEEK – TE YIK YAK O TE WIKI

When you don’t go out drinking and sleep for 13 hours instead

BEST OF THE WEB – NGA TINO O TE IPURANGI

SATIRE NEWS SITES

The Onion

The Civilian

The Daily Mash

The Shovel

The most prolific and ubiquitous

A New Zealand (YAY!) website that

With scatological humour and a flair

Australia’s news also comes in

“farcical” news site is nearing 5 million

boasts “working hard to provide you

for parody this British site does its

a satirical format thanks to The

Facebook likes. Waste time by reading

with as little information as possible.”

best to rival The Onion. The Daily Mash

Shovel. “By reading The Shovel you

this comedic take on American news,

Isn’t absurdity hilarious? They’ve

proudly offers politically incorrect

agree to George Brandis having no

or share it with a Baby Boomer and

been a little inactive for a while with

commentary on UK politics. Agony

understanding of metadata.” Who

watch them take it seriously. Lolz

their top story currently about John

Aunt is particularly amusing.

is Brandis? Don’t know, don’t care

galore.

Campbell, but the relevance to NZ

Google it.

culture makes it worth a scroll. 13

NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

Nasty Dreams, Nasty Realities Peter Dornauf

But that aside, the play and its wider context contrasted sharply with the content of professor Higham’s lecture on human evolution. What was revealed in the talk was that humans and Neanderthals were for a period of time contemporaries, with DNA research showing that they interbred. We all today, as a consequence, carry between 1 - 2% of the Neanderthal genes, which in some cases is not a good thing because the genetics for debilitating diseases like Crohn’s and diabetes is among them. They were stocky, tough boned creatures but carried syndromes of chronic disorder. Thanks, evolution.

Two events crossed paths recently that highlighted certain incongruities that get thrown up from time to time in modern intellectual life.

after stories of origins and endings and on the other, science with its

One was a public lecture at the Arts Academy on campus, delivered

harrowing tales of nature in all its messy, violent, clumsy and wasteful

by Tom Higham, Professor of Archaeological Science at Oxford and a

work carried out over endless eons, ending up with a creature that

specialist in the carbon dating of early hominids. The other was a play,

passes on painful life-threatening genetics to Homo sapiens.

written by J K Baxter in the 1960’s, The Devil and Mr Mulcahy, performed at the Meteor Theatre and directed by Dr.William Farrimond from the Department of Humanities at Waikato. To begin with, the drama. Set in some New Zealand rural back-block it involved a farming family dominated by a somewhat tyrannical father with fanatical religious beliefs. The son was a bit screwed up as well, exhibiting an Oedipus Complex in overdrive, displaying overt symptoms of the condition in wanting to kill his dad, marry his sister and bonk his mother (normal teenage stuff, ahem). Baxter, as always, lays it on a bit thick, but the obvious message was the Freudian one about suppression of natural instincts which can only issue in violent

Which story do you go for? The cheering masses chasing the Popemobile obviously plump for the fairy tale. It’s so much sweeter. The Church’s response, post-Darwin, was either denial or a judicious switch to accommodation mode in an attempt at some kind of reconciliation. Lots of tricks have been turned by theologians to achieve a rapprochement with evolution, (allegorical, metaphorical, mythical), but it’s like trying to mix shit and sugar. Roman Catholic palaeontologist, Teilhard de Chardin, had a go some time back with his Omega Point spiel. If you can swallow that without gagging then you’re a sword/shite swallower extraordinaire.

consequences. The father and family belonged to some pious Christian

Baxter was obviously bagging fundamentalism, but ironically he turned

sect which proscribed adherence to a strict puritanical code. The whole

out to be variant of the species himself. My vote goes with Prof. Higham

thing ends badly with people dead. Shades of militant Islam.

and his Neanderthal friends despite the harsh reality it presents.

Baxter, of course, had his own demons and religiously flagellated himself with his barefoot shtick at Jerusalem back in the 60’s.

So here’s the rub. On the one hand we have religion with its happy-ever-

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

Auteur NEXUS MAGAZINE

Auteur House Presents... Inherent Vice Richard Swainson

It is a frustration that no Waikato cinema had the opportunity to screen it. On the other hand, I fear the decision makes solid commercial sense. Inherent Vice might sound like a genre film but it’s a difficult, borderline incomprehensible work that will appeal mostly to fans of either the director or the source material. It’s hard to believe that the book is considered a lesser effort by Pynchon, so convoluted and complex is the plot. It’s like The Big Sleep on acid: a film noir in which a permanently drugaddled private eye in the early 1970s has at least five different, but interrelated cases going on at the same time. Joaquin Phoenix, sporting a pair of mutton chops for the ages, is more Cheech and Chong than

Ironically enough for the proprietor of a DVD rental store, I prefer to

Humphrey Bogart and the line between what’s actually happening

see films in a theatre. Real cinema involves a large screen, a darkened

and what he’s dreaming up is often a fine one. The detective’s prime

room and the company of strangers. The experience requires total

motivation is to help out an old girlfriend — one who is now involved

immersion, something impossible in a domestic setting.

with the most powerful real estate magnate in town — but he’s also

The release of Paul Thomas Anderson’s Inherent Vice on DVD last week was therefore something of a mixed blessing. I have been looking forward to seeing Anderson’s adaptation of Thomas Pynchon’s novel ever since its New York Film Festival premiere in October of last year. Exactly why we have had to wait this long for it is in some ways a

burdened with a psychotic cop nemesis (the excellent Josh Brolin), a sympathetic hippie narc (the on-form Owen Wilson), an assistant DA who he’s sleeping with on the side (Reese Witherspoon) and an oriental prostitute ever keen to give “pussy eating” demonstrations. And that’s just for starters.

mystery. Anderson is one of the most celebrated directors in the world

If you are looking to compare the film with anything, what comes to

and Inherent Vice was on the whole well received critically, featuring in

mind is Robert Altman’s The Long Goodbye. However, it’s very much

many a Top 10 list and enjoying a couple of Oscar nominations, albeit

its own beast, a sprawling, comic masterpiece that both requires and

of the token variety.

rewards patience.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

ANXIETY & DEPRESSION: THE FRIENDS NOBODY NEEDS Trigger Warning: Self-harm Kelsie Morland

This is probably one of the hardest pieces of writing I’ve ever put into words, but I feel like it needs to be told. There is giant stigma around mental illness and hopefully my story will aid others in dealing with the hectic life that is University, and show people who are suffering that you can make it through three years of University. First Year

at 3am typing away at my computer trying to finish that

I left home at 17, so ready to move out and be independent.

assignment to a standard of perfection.

But when I arrived at Uni it wasn’t quite what I had expected. Already having dealt with depression in my teen years, it reared its head again in my first year. I had always been a dedicated student at school, education being the one thing my mind thought it could control. However, nothing can really prepare you for a Conjoint Degree with a Double Major (that’s five papers a semester. YIKES!). With assignments rolling in and not really being able to keep up with them, Anxiety became my friend. I started to panic over the smallest things, getting grades any less than a B was absolutely traumatising and would result in tears for a good few hours. Then the sun would set, and with the stars came nights where sleep just wouldn’t come; those thoughts

All of this stress resulted in me getting incredibly sick. And of course I was too afraid to tell my mum that anything was wrong, because Anxiety kept whispering that she would only be proud of me if I did well. It didn’t matter what my lecturers were saying, it didn’t matter that my grades were particularly good. All that mattered was that my friend Anxiety wasn’t satisfied. Stress and assignments just kept piling up. I began to feel numb. So I turned to other means to feel. Yup — the blade. The first time it happened I promised myself and my boyfriend at the time that it wasn’t going to happen again. Then I got a part-time job on top of the assignments (they never go away) so I began to cut more and more.

of that approaching assignment and the not-so-good grade

It wasn’t until I started making friends with people in my

replaying in my head like a broken record. So, there I’d be

classes that I realised, I wasn’t alone. Although the voices in

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

With assignments rolling in and not really being able to keep up with them, Anxiety became my friend.

my head (from the depression) kept telling me I was alone, I

Third Year

found myself going out to parties, going out for dessert. But

Here I am now in my third year, with a fourth to go. Another

things were still tough. At night there was no one there to tell

five papers a semester. Busier than I’ve ever been before. My

me everything was okay. My boyfriend couldn’t be with me

mental health is still not the best but I am more equipped

all the time and the assignments just never went away. That

to deal with it. My lecturers have been a godsend, granting

consistent hounding….

extensions knowing that I was stressed out of my mind. Multiple times I would find myself crying in the arms of my

Second Year Then came second year. That was a whole new ball-park. I had been convinced to take papers above my level and let

favourite lecturer, and there are no thanks enough for all the support she’s given me over the past three years.

me tell you, this was not a good idea. I was not prepared for

So; the reason behind my rambling on about my life?

the expectation or the commitment these papers entailed,

University is hard. I want to assure you that if you’re

and when the lecturers were harsh on me, my anxiety

struggling, you’re not alone. It really is, and even harder with

couldn’t handle it. I’d walk to class already crying because

a mental illness. Not just depression or anxiety, mental health

I knew at some stage something bad was going to happen.

is fragile. But don’t let anything beat you. University will get

This led to mild panic attacks and a lot more yelling. Unable

you down, but it’s important that you get back up. You can

to cope with the work-load, a part-time job and the mental

do anything you want to do. And sometimes things do get

health issues I started to go down hill — and then something

tough, sometimes there’s no reason for that. I can’t exactly

traumatic happened to one of close friends. I couldn’t handle

give advice as I never listened to my own, but I wish I had.

it, I spiralled and began cutting more frequently. Enter first

Don’t be afraid to say you’re not okay. Take long walks with

Teaching Practicum, having to be in charge of children for

friends. Exercise. Try and get lots of sleep. Surround yourself

most of the day and the stress was overwhelming. I’d find

with things that make you happy. Engage in a hobby.

myself falling asleep the moment I got home, skipping

University will be some of the worst and best times of your

dinner. Thankfully this was after exams so the assignments

life. Embrace it. Embrace you. And know that you can do

had stopped. But then came the dreaded wait for marks.

anything you set your mind to.

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

EDUCATION & MENTAL HEALTH Jules Craft and Brittany Rose

This feature started as a piece by Jules Craft in which he essentially bagged on the schooling system for not preparing people to deal with life. Brittany is training to be a high school teacher and is sick as fuck of people claiming that education is the be all and end all of causing and solving society’s problems. So she ripped it to fucking shreds and put it back together with her own thoughts. Sorry Jules. Jules Craft has been pondering recently. He usually is,

with diagnosable conditions such as depression or anxiety.

because he’s a thoughtful kinda guy, but more precisely

So, these learners obviously aren’t going to benefit from

he’s wondering, “is there a solid foundation of mental

the implicit messages of time management, positive

health knowledge and education in our culture?” Even more

communication and a ‘can do’ attitude. Perhaps explicit

specifically, he thinks that this is the responsibility of schools

mental health education is necessary? But wtf even is that?

and wants to know: “Why isn’t mental health a compulsory,

It’s pretty unclear.

clear, and significant component to our educational system?”

What is clear is that our cultural attitudes to behaviour

The New Zealand Curriculum is a Ministry of Education

(especially within learning contexts) are that students/

document which provides guidelines upon which teachers

people must behave as though they have minds which are

base their lessons and units — guidelines for the level at which

calm, and focused regardless of what’s going on in their life.

students should be explaining, describing or analysing texts,

If you’re reading this issue of Nexus, you’ve probably made

for example. There are also five Key Competencies which

it through a large chunk of schooling, and you’d probably

are supposed to be ingrained within pedagogy, but are not

agree that often when studying you do not have a calm

often taught explicitly — though can be, often in PE, health

nor focused mind. You’d also probably agree that it would

or drama (think teamwork, self-esteem building etc). The

be rather embarrassing to start sobbing in the middle of a

Key Competencies are: thinking; using language, symbols

tutorial (I can confirm from personal experience that it is

and texts; participating and contributing; relating to others;

indeed rather humiliating).

and managing self. The last three very clearly provide scope for students to develop skills to become capable, responsible and well balanced adults. But, regardless of whether this is effective or not — it doesn’t effectively account for people

Now, Jules is a fan of the 10,000 hour ‘rule’ to master a skill, so, “if this is the case would we not all benefit from the focused study of mental health? We have behaviour

“Why isn’t mental health a compulsory, clear, and significant component to our educational system?”

management education, it’s just that this finds its foundations

fooled, not all liquids hydrate you.” Precisely. Our lifestyles

in punishment resources but shouldn’t we be aiming for our

have progressively changed since the Industrial Revolution,

education systems to be preventative rather than reactive?”

we’ve shifted from what Frederick Tonnies termed a

Well.... even with education and 10,000 hours of developing mental health skills — whatever they are — people are still going to have really bad days, and maybe they won’t hold it together in a public setting, especially if they are suffering from PTSD, for example. There’s more to mental health than learning coping strategies. Sure, they’ll help, but our cultural climate is one that seemingly does not accept sadness, and sees an inability to cope under stress as weakness. Jules is adamant that education is key — that’s his main point you see — though he does acknowledge that “Some might argue that is the responsibility of the parents, or that there are other mechanisms such as religion and culture that teach life values. To this all I say is that yes, this is true, but school is simply another opportunity to further the understanding of mental health in our young bucks.”

gemeinschaft society (characterised by close knit units that privilege the collective over the individual), to a gesellschaft society (characterised by individualism and heterogeneity). There is a huge emphasis on competition and the individual in our capitalist society, which is what Jules touched on when he stated: “We’ve become so set on quick fixes and specific diagnostics of medical problems that we don’t take a holistic look approach to existence. Every other living thing responds to our environment, are we so different?” So, after all of that, what is the point? It seems as though the world is a dire fucking place for anyone struggling with their mental health, our culture dgaf about individual stress levels or whatever. If — as Jules suggested — a more holistic culture centred on family and friends than the individual is key (alongside education) then what can you actually do? You can stop being so damn competitive, you can support

Touching on factors outside of education, Jules gets quite

your peers, and do your best to change our culture. And

insightful, “We’ve replaced whole foods with fast food, we are

if education is key, then learn. You have the entire internet

much less likely to be exercising for 30 mins or more a day, we

at your disposal, and there are plenty of mental health

no longer live as a community with our families and friends,

tips available in this issue. Essentially: look after yourself,

we spend hours in front of screens, and we have replaced

support others, and stop fucking blaming teachers for the

water with a grand selection of drink products — don’t be

inadequacies of our society as a whole.

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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

HOW TO DEAL Ria Holmes & Alix Higby

Let’s be honest, sometimes life fucking sucks. Mental Health issues affect all of us in some shape or form. But at least we don’t have to do it alone; friends and whanau will rally around loved ones in times of need. There’s also plenty of info out there these days to help you deal with it on your own too. Below are some everyday, honest tips for supporting friends and whanau through rough patches, and most importantly, how to help yourself. FOR FRIENDS AND WHANAU

FOR YOURSELF

Nom Noms and Fresh Air

Exercise… I Know, I’m Sorry

Some days chocolate, ice-cream and movies are the absolute

Exercise truly is the underutilized drug. Whatever you’re

hands down best option. Do it, blob on the couch, forget to

into, focusing your energy on a physical task can unwind

have a shower together — no questions asked.

the stress that grows in your head. I am super into running,

But... Some days a home cooked meal with actual fruit and

but after a knee injury I had to re-evaluate… Luckily, simple

vegetables, or a picnic can make the difference between a

bodyweight exercises like squats and shoulder presses

bad day and an average day. Do something outside, walk

require some kind of co-ordination and with your attention

around the neighbourhood; go to the gardens (it only takes

redirected, your problems will fuck off for a while. Even

15 minutes… hell slam a lap of the uni fields in).

finding time for a stroll around the lake when deadline

Sounding Board or Silent Support

pressure sets in will help keep the monsters at bay.

Sometimes it’s good to talk, cry, do nothing and other days

Hang Out

make plans. Those closest can be the best sounding boards,

It’s tempting to shut everyone out while you learn to deal,

and yup sometimes your advice is actually helpful. Make sure

but what often helps us get through is making time for

you are confidential and try relating on a personal level.

people. Not too much time, but enough that you can’t

But... Other days you need to shut the fuck up. Give true

forget how many good people you have in your life that

support in silence and trust that they will be ok. Make sure they

care about you. Just don’t waste your precious spare

know they can come to you but make sure you create SPACE.

moments on the judgey high school type friends though,

Basic Mess or a Bomb Site?

that will never motivate you — even on a good day.

If the house, car or bedroom look like they’ve been hit by a

Mediation (and Apps!)

bomb and cleanliness has slipped on the wayside, maybe you

We’re lucky to live in a period of time where resources are

can help. Tag team the dishes or double date at the laundromat.

so bountiful — meditation is a great way to collect yourself

But... Don’t make a big deal out of it, sometimes it can be

and ease any anxiety and tension. Apps like Headspace or

really difficult staying on top of the little things. Mental

Calm provide you with the tools to disconnect from your

health issues do not equal incompetency, don’t be a lecturer

mind and train your brain to focus on the physical. You

or an uptight do-gooder.

don’t need to be a pro, they will walk you through it. This is

Seek Help You are not alone. Supporting friends and whanau who are working through mental health issues can be the most

particularly helpful for insomnia sufferers, such as myself, who just can’t switch off at night and need someone to sweet talk them into slumber.

rewarding, yet most stressful experience of your life. Remember

Take Some Time Out

no one is perfect, if they lash out or push you away give them

Colour in our adult colouring page opposite. Just give it a try,

space. Don’t take it personally if you get told to fuck off.

we’ll even award Burgerfuel to the best one — snap to

But... Make sure you are looking out for yourself! Seek

@nexusmag before Thursday next week.

help and support from your friends and whanau or see a counsellor. Talk through it, make plans, set up systems that

Remember, being there and being present in the moment

work for everyone involved.

can change everything!

NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

Barrie Babes: Silverdale We walk through a carport with old furniture and a New World trolley, along a skinny path flanked by an overgrown garden filled with forget-me-nots to the front door. Naturally, there is a carved wooden woodpecker door knocker. Inside the rhythmic thump of bass vibrates through the wall, the Europe travelling film student is listening to Flume. Nicole, a psych third year, sits on her colourful duvet with her laptop. The house is a mess of organised chaos, stacks of books and collections of pens everywhere. There’s a “study zone” set up on the “daybed” in the lounge — really is just a nest of cushions, blankets and charging cords belonging to the absent teaching student.

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE – NGA KORERO HUATAU

“I NEED A RELEASE, AND LIKE MOST PEOPLE, I GET THAT RELEASE FROM GOSSIPING LIKE A HOUSEWIFE MARRIED TO A MILLIONAIRE.”

Bad Fashion Jess Wilson

called an Asian man nearby a “fucking Asian bastard,” adding, “I’m going to kill you.” Galliano now works for Maison Martin Margiela, made mainstream famous by kids reciting Kayne’s lyric “What’s that jacket, Margiela?” Living is pain. Hugo Boss Boss isn’t only ahead of fashion trends; he was once ahead of the

What does one do when she is positively consumed with anxiety from conflicting work, university, health, and family schedules? Does she tell herself, “This will all be over in less than two weeks.”?

and fabulous garments for the Hitler Youth. What a shitbag. Chanel

G.I and has electrolytes and vitamins) whilst crying to George

We all know that Chanel was probably a spy for the Nazis, but did

Michael’s hit single, ‘Faith’?

you also know she likely influenced the Nazis to seize the property

My thumping anxious heart is causing me to become more

of the Jewish family who bought her Parfums Chanel company?

anxious because my thumping anxious heart comes from a history

Her attempt to reclaim the company ultimately failed as it had

of early heart disease. I need a release, and like most people, I

already been sold to a non-Jewish entrepreneur. Shame, Coco.

millionaire. Here’s some things you mightn’t have known about fashion’s favourite houses.

N.23 / V.47

as early as 1931. He went on to create stylish uniforms for the SS

Or does she eat coconut sugar straight from the packet (it’s low

get that release from gossiping like a housewife married to a

fascist, totalitarian political trends too. Boss joined the Nazi party

Nina Ricci Even one of the original producers of commercial perfume, Nina Ricci, doesn’t have a clean record. Arlette Ricci, the heir and

John Galliano

owner of the massive Nina Ricci perfume empire, was recently

Fashion went mad when the once-beloved designer was sacked

sentenced to three years in prison and fined over a million for

from Dior in 2011 after a series of anti-semitic and racist rants. One

hiding her inherited money in Swiss bank accounts. What’s that

video showed him telling a woman he presumed Jewish that he

I smell? The sweet scent of justice — either that or I need to

“loves Hitler” and her parents should have been “gassed.” He then

take a shower.

MENTAL HEALTH

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

THE SINGLE LIFE – TE KOIORA TAKITAHI

“NOW, UNLESS YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME SERIOUS SMACK TALKED ABOUT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK I SUGGEST STOP MAKING PLANS YOU CAN’T KEEP.”

When They Have No Follow Through

to be a rather low-risk investment, turns out to offer no return! I’m

Emma Nygard

and do something fun like go to the beach, or go for a walk or in

not saying that in an angry ‘why won’t you sleep with me?’ kind of way. That’s not the only return someone can offer, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about when you plan something, not just a plan to get drunk and sleep together, but like a legitimate plan to hang out my case sit in bed and watch YouTube videos. And then, they bail. Not just once but like seven times in a row. Now, I don’t suffer from this stuff a lot, due to my debilitating fear of small talk, but I have

Have you ever spent countless nights talking to some guy, or girl (I

friends. And these friends prescribe their frustration with the only

have been made aware this week that boys do in fact sometimes

remedy known to actually help — a healthy dose of shit talking.

read this column)? Investing time getting to know them through

“He was too short anyway.”

excruciatingly dull ice-breakers like: “what do you study?” or,

“If you look up close he has a uni brow.”

“where are you from?” or, “what do you do for fun?” My carefully

“*insert name here* said they sucked in bed.”

calculated array of Tinder pics may suggest I enjoy the occasional

Now, unless you want to have some serious smack talked about

venture outside, but let me tell you — I do not. My idea of fun

you behind your back I suggest stop making plans you can’t keep.

involves eating, staying indoors and avoiding melanoma.

Don’t Q, W, E and then forget to press R to finish off your pentakill.

So, naturally I detest small talk, anything that may potentially

Yes, that was a terrible attempt at a LOL analogy.

reveal how much of a human failure I am. I don’t often endure the

If you genuinely don’t want to progress further with this person

anguish that is getting to know another human, so understand

I recommend telling them, or alternatively, if you’re just really

that if I do I probably think you’re some kind of young, real world

nervous, my own personal recommendation for removing any

Colin Firth (dreamy). However, I still probably won’t enjoy getting

kind of awkwardness around socializing is three tequila shots and

to know you — or more importantly, you getting to know me. So

an extra one, for good luck and the removal of any inhibitions

you can understand my rage when somebody, who I considered

whatsoever.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

HE PUNA KŌRERO

“...SECURING HIS SECOND NATIONAL TITLE AND MAINTAINING THE 4 YEAR WINNING STREAK OF WAIKATO LAW STUDENTS.”

National Māori Moots Alaynna Davis

Alongside Māori Law Students from throughout Aotearoa, we contributed to break-out sessions about contemporary issues that affect Māori including: the use of te reo Māori, tikanga and waiata by practitioners and students within the legal system as well as the importance and impact of Mana Wahine within the legal profession. The conference also proved an invaluable opportunity to network with potential employers, with a number of Waikato students being offered job opportunities.

HE KIRIKAWA KI TE TURE NGA WHITIKI O TE KI NGĀ RŌIA MĀORI E!

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Ultimately the highlight of the entire hāerenga was watching our very own Aperahama Hurihanganui eloquently deliver his moot submissions entirely in Te Reo Rangatira, securing his second

During the recess Te Whakahiapo took a 35 strong roopū of

national title and maintaining the 4 year winning streak of Waikato

students to Waitangi to attend Te Hunga Rōia Māori Hui a Tau and

Law students. Our experience was enriched even further by the

compete in the National Kaupapa Māori Moot Competition.

overwhelming manaaki we received from Ngāti Hine at Otiria Marae.

This conference marked the 175th anniversary of the signing of

We are truly grateful for the immense support we received from

the Treaty of Waitangi and it made it that much more special with

the Pro Māori VC office, WSU, Te Piringa, IPLS and Te Hunga Rōia

the venue being the Waitangi Treaty Grounds. The conference

Māori and acknowledge that this hāerenga could not have gone

included inspirational keynote speeches by Justice Goddard, Chief

ahead without their sponsorship and support.

Justice Sian Elias, Justice Williams, Moana Jackson, Annette Sykes

We look forward to heading to Te Wai Pounamu next year to

and many other judges, practitioners and academics who are at

defend our title as Māori Moot Champions.

the forefront of the legal profession.

#teeDUBnation

MENTAL HEALTH

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

AUNTY SLUT – KOKA KAIRAU

“START WITH A LUBED UP FINGER, WORK YOUR WAY UP TO THE DILDO. GO SLOW.”

Begging For Pegging

enjoying what’s going on. Essentially, pegging is a great way to

Aunty Slut

Being gay doesn’t magically make it feel good when someone

build intimacy by ‘walking a mile in each other’s shoes’. And it’s fun. Really fun. Both men and women have pleasure receptors in their bums. massages your prostate. Everyone has loads of nerve endings up there just waiting to be loved on. And you know, it’s amazing to watch your lover fall to pieces in front of you. Giving pleasure is

Dear Aunty Slut,

the greatest pleasure — or, it should be.

I’m curious to try pegging with my girlfriend. I’m not sure how to

In terms of getting your girlfriend on-side, the best way to get her

ask her without scaring her — we’re not very adventurous. Any tips

excited is to show her how excited you are about it. Even if she’s a bit

would be welcome. Love, Peg-curious

surprised, if you buy in with enough enthusiasm, she’ll get excited

p.s. My friends were joking about this the other day, but wanting to

too. If nothing else, she’ll be excited about giving you pleasure.

be pegged doesn’t make me gay right?

The next thing you need to do is some research then find yourselves a strap-on. Head into your local sex shop for some

Dear Peg-curious,

advice, or check out some online. You can get plain strap-ons,

First of all, if liking anal sex makes you homosexual, there are a lot

double enders, or even ones with a vibrator for your girl. Make sure

of dudes practicing ‘up the butt no babies’ that should be worried.

you get something you’re both comfortable with. Don’t forget

For those of you playing along at home, pegging is when a female

that the bum is not self-lubricating, so get some lube too. The

identifying person, takes her lover (usually a male identifying

more lube the better. Think you’ve got enough? Add a bit more.

person) up the ass with a strap on. Straight men who are into

The slipperier it is, the better it will feel.

anal play are actually the coolest guys out — they’re secure in

Make sure you’re aroused and relaxed (Lots of foreplay!). Start

their sexuality, they’re a little kinky, and they’re compassionate

with a lubed up finger, work your way up to the dildo. Go slow.

and thoughtful lovers. There’s a rad book called How Pegging

Really slow. Let your sphincter pucker over her finger before she

Can Save the World (no, I’m not kidding) that reckons pegging

pushes harder — it will help her figure out when and how to push

your guy can make him a better, more empathetic lover. Why?

once she’s strapped up. Make sure you communicate throughout,

Because for dudes, sex is usually external to their body. But once

and keep each other safe — like any new sexual experience, it can

it’s internal, and dependant on being relaxed and comfortable

be a bit nerve wracking.

with your partner, some guys discover that their emotions have a bigger impact on how they feel about sex. For women, it gives us an opportunity to experience the hard work and responsibility that comes from fucking someone: making sure they’re safe and

Position ideas for first time peggers: girl as the big spoon, guy as the little spoon. Guy sitting on girl’s knee. Guy face up, girl kneeling. Happy Pegging!

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

NEW LOCALS – KORERO MAI TĀWĀHI

“...BELIEVE IT OR NOT I NEVER MADE MY BED UNTIL I CAME TO NEW ZEALAND.”

Diary of an Outsider

not I never made my bed until I came to New Zealand. So yeah,

Shalini Guleria

Now, I am sitting here in my three bedroom flat which I share

according to you, I had an awesome life but now when I reflect on it, I had an inexperienced life. Coming to New Zealand made me realise how I took my parents’ efforts for granted.

with two other friends and I am basically trying to get by each day. Trust me, student life is hard and on top of that being an international student just tops it off. My parents do send me money but it’s not about the money, it’s just hard to make these Entry Two: 27th September 2015 You know, budgeting isn’t my thing. It never was. But, hey, circumstances make you do things that you probably want to avoid for rest of your life. Here I am, staring at my excel

town. This amazes me, people here know how to take risks but I guess they are brought up this way. Growing up in an Indian family, or any other family in Asia, children

failing. Why so difficult?

are required to stay with their parents sometimes even after their

stuff. My only task was to go to school, do my homework, eat food, hang with friends, sleep — in short, do nothing. I may sound like

marriage. I guess that’s our culture and, because of this, being alone in a new country seems so overwhelming. You know what, I will get there.

a spoiled brat but that was life for me back home. Let me clear it

I didn’t come here to give up, this journey has just begun and I am

out for you, I don’t want to give an impression that I was super rich

willing to learn a lot more. Enough of this depressing stuff, let’s do

and had all the luxuries but it is true that my family is well off. We

some budgeting.

had servants so housework was never a chore for me; believe it or

N.23 / V.47

them have decided to flat despite their parents living in the same

spreadsheet, trying to make this number game work, obviously

Back home, I was carefree. It was my dad who did all the financial

new adjustments. I see my other friends and they are fine, some of

MENTAL HEALTH

Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

BBQ Chicken Drumsticks Zac Lyon

1 tsp cumin powder ¼ tsp cayenne pepper 2 cloves garlic, chopped 2 Tbs onion powder 1 Tbs brown sugar 1 cup of tomato sauce 1 Tbs Worchester sauce 1 tsp of mustard

Apart from struggling with the end of year approaching and the adjustment of daylight savings, you may have noticed that change is in the air. Not just a

Method

change of weather but a change of clothing. Out come the pasty winter legs

1. Mix all the ingredients excluding the chicken in a large bowl. Taste the bad

and arms as we all strip down to maximise the vitamin D uptake. There is no

boy and see what else it needs. You guys should be on your way to being a

better way than sunning it up with a BBQ and a few beersies. But that brings us to a new problem. The BBQ. It has been sitting in the dark and damp all winter concocting new and vicious moulds to attack our lungs and nervous systems. I swear I have a respiratory issue from burning off the carpet that had grown on our BBQ. Be safe guys, BBQ mould is toxic, best to smoke out your neighbours instead. Ingredients 12 chicken drumsticks (or more) ¼ cup oil 1 tsp salt 1 tsp ground pepper 1 tsp paprika (or smoked paprika)

culinary genius by now. Exercise your own tongue — your taste buds I mean. 2. Dunk your chicken drumsticks into it, ensuring that everything is well lathered in BBQ sauce. The trick in making these turn out fantastically is in how you cook them, they need constant attention — just like a small puppy. Whack ‘em onto a nice hot BBQ grill. You need to make sure that they are turned frequently to minimise the burning. Unless your diet consists of charcoal, I would advise watching them like a hawk in between beer sips and the occasional round of paddlebat. 3. These should be done in about 40 mins, take one off the grill and peel back the chicken to ensure it’s cooked properly. 4. Demolish these like the champion you are, they are great nutrition for extended paddlebat and BYC matches.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Snapped

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo), wins a voucher from our mates at Burgerfuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

N.23 / V.47

MENTAL HEALTH

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

Brought to you by The Bank and 97.8 The Edge. Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection. if you’re keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Two boys, one tab. Gentleman One is looking for a “charming, hot, humourous” match, Gentleman Two is just terrified that his match won’t be friendly or nice. Favourite films are 50 Shades of Grey, and Mean Girls respectively. One adores Ed Sheeran, while the other thinks that Gaga is Queen — Yasss, slay bitch, slaaaay — but will he give him love, m-my give him love?

Sorry to disappoint guys there was no sex, we’re classy

I’m there first, shit. Long Island Ice Tea should calm my

bitches!!

nerves. Somehow I was fashionably early, he went for

I rocked up at 7.40 and arrived after him (thankfully).

fashionably late. It was dark and I was still a bit hung

The waitress soon pointed me to a man sitting on a

over from the night before. Elton John was playing and

table by the door. I don’t think either of us expected

didn’t stop playing the whole night.

us to look like what we did. He already had a drink on

He arrived, I stood up and shook his hand... is that what

the table. I ordered what he had.... Big mistake it was so

you do on a date? The dude is cool, first impression

strong, I couldn’t stomach it!! Combined with the fact

though, he kinda looks like my younger brother. He told

that I’m a lightweight. The waitress brought over a shot

me he was studying law and I told him I graduated in

of her choice which I can still feel burning my throat.

arts. Two very far apart worlds, but he could come in

Over 2 hours we chatted and ate and drank and just had

handy. We chatted about the basic bitch things, and did

an amazingly fun time! He was a nice guy and didn’t

a shot of who-the-fuck-knows. It stung like a bitch.

look too bad either unfortunately not my type *sigh* I’m

When we got a bit more comfortable the juices started

a twink and I’m not quite sure I’m the type of guy he’s

to flow. I needed to pee. We talked about the Grindr

after either but we definitely had an enjoyable night! I’m

boys, the Tinder boys, and the Hornet boys which, let’s

sure I came off sounding like a bit of a slut, recalling all

face it, in Hamilton they’re all the same douchebags. We

of my sexual encounters. But as we ate, laughed and

talked past boyfriends, dates, talked about cute guys,

chatted I realised he was a great guy with a terrific

sex, all the usual stuff. Oh, and he had only watched

sense of humour, after the night ended I added him on

Mean Girls once, WEIRDO. Then it was kinda awkward,

Facebook and we’ve chatted since, I can definitely say

I was little tipsy, he had only had a sip of his drink (fair

that I’ve gained a friend. Thanks for the free food and

enough he had to drive). It’s okay, by that time I had

terrific company, and yes I finished the burger!

finished my second Long Island and was kinda ready

The Gentleman’s Experience

for bed. So we packed it up and exchanged Facebooks. We hugged and I walked home. Hmmmm, maybe I’ll be single forever.

WSU Election Candidates PRESIDENT CANDIDATES

INDULA JAYASUNDARA

SHANNON STEWART

“A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong”

As your current President, I am standing again because I believe we can do

~ Tecumseh ~

even better. This year we have championed some vital issues for students as a result of the connections and relationships that have been formed. We

Students at Waikato University, have we forgotten what it feels like to work

have huge opportunities going forward to solidify our position on campus

together to achieve our common goals? As individuals we may be strong,

and as one of the strongest Student Unions’ in the country.

but a sense of unity among all associations, faculties and groups on campus could make us stronger. Having been a Director for almost a year I have had the privilege of working with an extremely talented set of individuals bringing their own set of skills to the board room table. However, the feeling of being a part of a ‘group’ as opposed to a ‘team’ and the lack of team chemistry within the board have been our biggest hurdle; preventing us from providing the best possible services to the students. If a team of 11 students cannot put their differences

I am the President who has the experience, professionalism and passion for student issues and welfare. I am also the first President to build great relationships with important stakeholders to get the best outcomes for students. Thanks to the changes we have made, we are in the best position to bring cheaper food on campus, negotiate more funding for student services and secure better resources for the Union and our students. These are just a few of the things that I will work towards if I am re-elected.

aside and support each other, how can they support 12,500 students? This is

I have been engaging with students on behalf of your Union for over 2

why I believe, that change starts from within.

years now and I have a good understanding of what students want, but am

Brothers and sisters, a huge part of ‘leadership’ means to make one liable for

also always free for students to voice their opinions. In the last few years

holding a team together and motivating them to progress towards achieving

the organisation has gone from strength to strength and I will see that

OUR goals. I am not running for President to promise you more sausage

continue if I am re-elected for 2016.

sizzles and freebies for orientation week, I am here to propose a plan that would be the stepping stone to a better university experience for all of us. This is a brief insight into a few concepts introduced through my preliminary ‘Presidential Plan’ for the year 2016, if elected in the upcoming election: Phase #01: ‘Synergy’ – Solidifying internal relationships; particularly of associations within the university Phase #02: ‘Union-ship’ – Reinforcing external relationships with student unions across the nation Please visit my Facebook page for the preliminary ‘Presidential Plan’ for 2016, which expands on the basic concepts listed above: https://www.facebook.com/indula.community #ChangeStartsFromWithin

HANA-TE KOWHAI OHIA

Running for Vice-President

Running for Vice-President Māori

My name is William and I would love to be your Vice President. Most of us

Mauri ora e te whānau!

running think the WSU is more important than it really is and take ourselves

My main mission at this point is to be a genuine voice for all Māori students,

more seriously than we should. Having said that, the WSU can make student

no matter what walks of life they come from. I will keep our whanau in

life a whole lot better, or worse, depending on its leadership. The WSU

the loop, voice your opinions, keep my door open, speak up when needed

supports clubs and cool student initiatives, provides some important student

and most importantly to keep our cultural integrity intact. I come from a

services and represents students on important issues like paid parking and

wharekura and mainstream background, I understand the value of standing

the university curriculum. I’m passionate about student life at Waikato

confidently in both worlds. My most recent study buddy is my nanny, and

and would like to help the WSU make it that little bit better. I have had

she personifies mana wahine and is a great example to me.

experience as an advocate with the Hamilton Youth Council and the Ministry

He uri whakaheke tēnei o Mataatua, o Takitimu, o Tokomaru waka. Kei Te

of Youth Development. I have also had student governance experience on

Raupapa (WMS) ahau e ako ana i ngā pūkenga rautaki, ki a whakaāhei i ahau

the Waikato University Law Students’ Association. I would love to support

ki te tautoko i ngā hāpori tāngata whenua o te ao. Koinei taku pae tawhiti.

the WSU in locking in this year’s progress. I am the only person running for

He pae tawhiti tō tēnā, tō tēnā o mātou. Ko mātou katoa tērā e hīkoi ana i

Vice President but your vote would be very much appreciated and I promise

tēnei ara o te mātauranga, e whātoro hoki ana ki te rākau a te Pākehā. Tēnā,

to represent every student as best I can.

me hīkoi ngātahi ai mātou ki a wepu i tēnei piiki wero kei te pae tata, ko te

Thanks!

whare wananga tērā! Tēnā koa, hikina to pene, tukua mai tō pōti.

ANTHONY RAWIRI

WINARA LEVI

Running for Vice-President Māori

Waikato te awa, Waikato te Hapū, Pōtatau te tangata, Mauri ora

Tiihei Mauri Ora!

E te atua, nana ngā mea i hanga, noreira e mihi ana. E te Kīngi Māori, Tuheitia,

Hei whakapuakitanga maaku ka whakahōnoretia too taatou matua nui i te

te whānau Kāhui Ariki, nā rātou e noho ana ki runga i te ahurei ō ngā mātua

rangi, e ihoa kia taawharautia too ingoa tapu. Ka tika kia rere ngaa mihi

tupuna, rire rire paimaarire. e ngā mate, haere atu ra ki tō moengaroa i raro i

ki te Kiingi Maaori e piikau ana ngaa mahi toimaha moo te iwi Maaori, kei

ngā parihau o ngā mātua tupuna. e ngā waihotanga, kia ora tātou.

taku ariki, Kiingi Tuheitia, kia tau iho te aiotanga ki runga ki a koe. Otiraa ki

I have ties to Waikato, Raukawa, Tūwharetoa, Kahungunu and Maniapoto. I

a koutou katoa, ngaku pia, ngaku Hoariri, ngaa tauira me ngaa kaimahi o Te

am a 4th year student doing a conjoint degree BA/LLB, majoring in Te Reo,

Whare Waananga O Waikato, hiinei taku reo whakamihi ka Irirangi ki runga

Tikanga and Law. I am passionate about promoting Māori on campus and

ki a koutou.

in the wider community. Over the past 4 years I have held a variety of roles

He uri teenei no Ngaati Haua , Ngaati Werewere e hiahia ana kia hiki te

including Student Ambassador, PR Officer for Te Whakahiapo and Kīngitanga

maanuka kua whakatakotoria e te paakihi nei a WSU. E hoa maa, maaku

Day volunteer. I will work to ensure that Māori are able to connect with all our

e tuu hei reo koorero moohau, moo ngaa nawe, moo ngaa amu, moo ngaa

various clubs and organisations here on campus. To all students, no matter

peehitanga katoa e whakapātaritari ana te tauira i a ia e ako ana ki koneki.

where you come from, we are all one family looking to be sucessful in life. I leave you with this thought. He kanohi kitea Wherever you go, there you are, a face that is seen ! Paimārire

VICE-PRESIDENT AND VICE-PRESIDENT MĀORI CANDIDATES

WILLIAM LEWIS

DIRECTOR CANDIDATES

JORDAN SMITH

SHALINI GIULERIA

CHARLOTTE SANSON

I’m not asking for you to vote for me. I’m just

I am one of you, a student of this University

Well dear Waikats, it feels like four months and 11

asking you to check the box next to my name. I

and bringing people together is what I do well.

days since I was running for director — only because

have been a volunteer for the WSU for the last year

Becoming WSU director was never on my to

it was. Yes, I am back and more opinionated than

and have helped organise and run O week, re-O

do list, as a first year I always looked at other

ever having spent the last while navigating my way

Week as well as several other cultural and social

directors working during open days, interacting

through the battlefield that is local politics. Like last

events. I believe this background has provided

with students and I always wondered one day

time, I’m not going to try and sell you on why you

me the necessary experience and skills to act as

this could be me. Now, I am in my third year of

should vote for me but more importantly on why

a director for the WSU and help enhance your

Chemical and Biological engineering and I think

you should vote. WSU acts as a representative for

university life. Throughout my time volunteering I

it’s time for me to take on this role. I am a people’s

issues that matter to YOU. You want cheaper food

have realised that there is nothing students care

person and I want to make a difference for you.

on campus, extended library hours? Vote. You’re not

about more than free stuff, especially food (except

I see this university immersed with different

fussed about the little things? Then start thinking

maybe alcohol but a proper bar on campus isn’t

cultures, different people and as a WSU director

bigger! Don’t get enough money from our generous

happening anytime soon). If elected I will strive

I want to enhance this diversity; by breaking

government to make rent? Vote. Think students

to provide more opportunities for the WSU

the barrier between domestic and international

deserve warm, insulated flats? Vote. If you have an

to provide students with some much needed

students. We are all unique and the word ordinary

opinion, act on it. If you don’t, act on it as well! Lastly

nourishment, as well as push to have the free vans

shouldn’t be on our dictionary.

and somewhat contradictory to my earlier statement

to town available more than just 2 weeks a year.

So vote for me and be SUPER!

but like all good politicians, #votecharsanson.

PATIENCE NGARA

BRAD FULCHER

BRIANNA MORGAN

Every good Student Union needs Patience. I’m reliable,

I’m a typical Kiwi fella who’s up for a bit of fun

When I was told to write this I decided to ask

honest, a little bit sassy (the good kind, I swear!) and

and a game of NBA 2K. I’ve travelled from the

my friends for a little help, they came up with

most importantly, I’m genuinely passionate about

mighty TGA to the blissful city of Hamilton

everything from free brie cheese and crackers

making sure your time at Uni is amazing. I used

in pursuit of a university degree, and so far

with every vote, twerking for votes (which if you

to catch myself thinking, “am I really gonna keep

she’s working out well. Next year will be the

know me you would know I can’t twerk to save

paying thousands of dollars, to spend four years here

home stretch for me, and being my final year,

my life) to free scooter rides. I decided although

and be miserable for all of them?” No no. As a wise

I strongly feel that I can contribute some good

these ideas are great and all would be put on the

woman once said, “Aint nobody got time for that”.

chat while shuttling students to and from town

backburner until drastically needed. Instead I want

After realising I wasn’t the only one feeling this way,

during O-Week if given the opportunity by you

to say that I am applying for this position to help

I decided to do something about it. I’m not here to

fine people. Running for WSU is many miles out

you guys. After being a volunteer / intern for the

force student involvement but introduce more things

of my comfort zone, but at the start of the year

student union during REO, sitting in a dunk tank

that students actually want to be involved in. If this

I made a promise to myself to get on board with

whilst balls were flying from all directions from

interests you, check out my Facebook page (www.

as much as I can and contribute in a meaningful

you students, burning soup (sorry guys!) and

facebook.com/VotePatience) or if you see me around

way. I have some mighty fine ideas, and more

much more, I realised that I want to be your voice.

campus then stop for a chat. For a fierce student

importantly, I’ve got the drive to make sure

So Vote for me, and who knows maybe one of my

representative with the right priorities, vote Patience!

things happen.

friends three ideas may come true? Brie anyone?

WINARA LEVI

KALE ISAAC

Hello fellow students,

Te Whare Waananga O Waikato, the waka that I

My name is Kale Isaac, I am currently in my second

I go by the name Kaelyn. I’m the first in my

paddle to ensure I get to my final destination of

year of a Bachelor of Management Studies. I’m

family to graduate high school and get into

success, my Hawaiki

president of the Waikato Uni Snowsports Club,

university. I came to university to let my parents

Readings, Tutorials and Lectures, the currents

and try my best to be a genuine good cunt… But

think I was actually smart. I am a second year

and waves that I work through each day getting

the most important thing for you to know is that

student studying Communications majoring

that one bit closer.

Ben Lummus is my second cousin. I stand for and

is Leadership and Public Relations. This is

Lecturers, the stars that I use to navigate my

want to work towards change. I’m a big supporter

meant to be my opportunity to outstand other

waka.

of student culture and believe that being a Waicat

candidates but I have a small network, empty

Taku mana Māori motuhake, the paddle that

should mean more than simply studying at the

pockets and little skill. I’m not innovative or

propels my canoe, no matter how harsh the

same institution as one another. Waikato offers us

intelligent but I found most of my awesome

conditions are.

the opportunity to find new interests, connect with

campaign ideas on Pinterest and Instagram.

Vote for me and I will do my up most to ensure

many different cultures, and of course engage in a

However, I am a passionate individual who

you have a smooth journey through the oceans

healthy nightlife. It is my dream help foster growth

seeks nothing but the best for people. Life is full

that you are trying to conquer.

in a sense of community and pride within our

of regrets. You could use one more. Vote Kaelyn

Peace be the journey!

university. Vote for me “Cuzzy Kale” to help create long lasting student culture and traditions. Chur

for WSU student director.

How to Vote Voting will open online at 9.30 am on Monday 5th October and close at 4.00 pm on Wednesday 7th October. You can access the voting portal by going to: www.waikato.ac.nz/wsu-elections/

WILLIAM MORRIS

TROY ANDERSON

I have a lot of real world experience to bring

I’m a student in my third year studying

You may only vote once and if you try to

to the WSU; I am a good organizer and a hard

engineering. I’ve been volunteering for the WSU

vote more than once all your votes may

worker, who stands out from the crowd and

for a few months now so I have a good idea

be disqualified. So please make sure you

who wants to stand up for you, after all that’s

how the organisation works. So I know how sick

do it right the first time.

who this election is about, the students, not the

a student bar sounds, or how awesome a giant

candidates. I am not here to inflate my ego, I

river float with a shit ton of beers would be, but

want to get stuck in and do my best to represent

I know the vice-chancellor is not going to have a

students and their needs. I am an outspoken

bar of that shit. I’d love to make some ridiculous

guy and I want to push boundaries, to get more

promises of cool shit that will never happen, like

for students, to keep the board accountable. I

the abolishment of 9am lectures or changing all

want to make speak up for students in the paid

the drinking fountains to serve beer instead of

parking debate and I want to help look after

water. But let’s be realistic, we all love cool shit,

students facing hardship to. Finally, when it

but as cool as cool shit is, if it’s not realistic, it’s

comes to working on the free WSU vans to town

not worth our time. So vote for someone who

during O week, having a guy that looks like an

will use their time effectively; vote Troy Anderson

extra from sons of anarchy is a bit of a bonus.

for realistic change.

Please follow the instructions carefully.

Information stations will be available at Level Zero and other locations around campus from time to time. If you are unsure of anything then feel free to stop in at the WSU Office, Level Zero to ask.

DIRECTOR CANDIDATES

KAELYN KINGI

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

SUDOKU

4 2

7 8 2

3 2

7 9

1 7

EASY

6 3

6 8

5 6

3 4

2 6

MEDIUM

1 8

8 7

HARD

CODEWORDS

SLITHERLINK

Each letter in the puzzle is represented by a number 1 – 26. Crack the code to solve it.

Join the dots to create a single continuous

14 14

24 6

18 8

24 24

20 21

24 7

21 16

20 12

2 21

17 12

25 2

5 12

14 1

21 24

21 15

12 24

22 21

loop. The numbers indicate how many lines

must never cross itself.

18 25

must surround each number and the loop

1 3

3 1

2 1

2 3

TRIVIAL

What four letter noun, originally from the

Latin for ‘day of birth’ is another name for the Christmas celebration? What star sign are you if born on Halloween? What is the Arabic word literally meaning ‘general of the sea’? Used to describe a naval rank.

WORD TWIST

17 16

24 12

N.23 / V.47

How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

MENTAL HEALTH

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

CROSSWORD

KAKURO

Solve the clues and fill in the words.

Fill all of the blank squares in the grid using only the

numbers 1 – 9 so the numbers entered add up to the

corresponding clue. You cannot use the same number 11

42 46

48 51

58 62

66 69

10 10

3 4 7 3

49 53

7 9

3 10 4

Across

51. Delhi dress

20. “The Raven” monogram

1. Coll. degree

53. Bank offerings

25. Small stream

4. Velocity: Abbr.

56. Perform in a play

26. 2001 Sean Penn film

7. Slacken

58. “Pop goes the ___”

27. Paradise

11. Method of attack

60. __ Speedwagon

28. Melville captain

12. Celebrity

61. Moby Dick, for one

29. Calendar unit

13. Skeleton part

64. Pirate ship perch

30. Owns

15. Painting of scenery

66. Oregon’s capital

31. Prefix meaning all

17. Dining room furntiture

67. Ranch worker

32. Chitchat

18. Final; finish

68. Poses questions

34. Simpson and Lincoln

19. ER procedure

69. Comedy routine

35. Corn part

21. Bumped into

70. Small bill

37. Watch covertly

22. TV spots

71. UFO crew

42. Chow down

23. Head features

10 7

50 56

more than once in a run (eg. 7, 1, 1).

27 30

SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE You know the drill.

44. Cunning

24. Melody for a single voice

Down

47. Drops on grass

27. He’s behind the catcher

1. Lackluster

49. Is unwell

28. Beehive

2. Touches down

51. Kitchen wrap brand

30. Party giver

3. In addition

52. All together (2 wds)

33. Per unit

4. Escalator part

53. Top of a wave

36. French friends

5. Fathers

54. Work surfaces

38. Ammunition

6. Sediment

55. Heavy drinkers

39. Feathery wrap

7. Bigg__ Loser

56. Cries of disgust

40. Break in half

8. Also Known As

57. Cartoonist Addams

41. “Harry Potter” professor

9. Deli sandwich

59. Parrot

43. Recedes

10. Vogue rival

62. Flowery necklace

45. Eagle’s nest

11. Statement of defendant

63. Ambulance rider

46. Long tales

12. Skirmish

65. Glasgow negative

48. Meat from pig

14. Sanction

50. Not on time

16. It holds up the flower

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WAIKATO Wednesday 7 October

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