Nexus 2015 Issue 24 by Nexus Magazine

N.24 N.23 / V.47

20 Summer Beats by J Beats by J returns to Nexus with hot recommendations for your summer playlists! Chilling, partying or road tripping — We’ve got your back!

22 Summer Lovin’

‘Summer fling’ screams romantic

Summer Getaways

sunsets and long walks on the beach,

We asked our contributors for their

Single Girl, Emma Nygard, takes us on

recommendations on summer getaways. Some

a journey into her Grease inspired teen

are perfect for daytrips during study break (it’s

romance fantasies. Turns out the reality

important to relax in the sunshine!), and others

is a lot more High School Musical than

are more like week-long celebration destinations

Sandy getting the D.

holding hands and smooching. Nexus’

for post-semester party season.

NEXUS NEWS

Nexus News: A Revision Session

A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE A Fashionable Lifestyle 2015

Before Exams 6

WSU: A Year in Review

THE SINGLE LIFE Single Life 2015

HE PUNA KŌRERO

Editor Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editors Alix Higby, Jules Craft Managing Editor James Raffan

Te Pua Wānanga ki Te Ao Showcase News Editor Sam Marelich

NEW LOCALS Diary of an Outsider

AUNTY SLUT Cuckold Keen

COOKING FOR STUDENTS

#SELFIEMYMUG How to Get Cheaper Coffee

Shish Kebabs 33

TRAVEL A Little Bit of Laos

REVIEWS

ENTERTAINMENT

ARTS

AUTEUR

SNAPPED

BLIND DATE PUZZLES

Photography Olivia Paris, Alix Higby Advertising Andrew James aj@wsu.org.nz Offices Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton Online nexusmag.co.nz facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine

ISSUE 24 26

Contributors Chris Reive, Chris Kader, Jared Wooldridge, Caitlin Orton, Hp, Peter Dornauf, Dr. Richard Swainson, Shannon Stewart, Rachael Elliot, Alix Higby, Grace Archer, Dayna East, Johnny Ryan, Emma Nygard, Jess Wilson, Taha Tangitu-Huata, Aunty Slut, Shalini Guleria, Jo Wrigley, Zac Lyon

YOUR SPACE

12 OCTOBER 2015

Get Out of Town: Ngaruawahia

SUMMER

Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUMMER!!!

For me, summer’s about taking it easy, eating strawberries and

Brittany Rose

Here’s a few tips for enjoying summer:

cooling off in a paddling pool... and that’s just what I’ll be doing.

• If you’re heading back to whatever part of the country you crawled in from, or going on a road trip, remember your sunnies for the ride. Summer is my favourite. Not just my favourite season, but my favourite fullstop. Everything I love happens in summer: the sun

• If you’re staying in Hamilton, leave the poor Te Awa staff alone on Boxing Day.

stays out later (ty daylight savings), I have my birthday party,

• Put sunscreen on before sunbathing. No explanation needed.

and floral prints and maxi dresses come into season. Much to

• Learn to swim or put on water wings before drunk-swimming

my disgust, the majority of my recent summers have been spent

in the ocean (if you haven’t been a tipsy mermaid yet then

inside a mall. Gross. The reality of totally killing it as a sales-bitch

you’re missing out. Skinny dip at the same time and kill two

means lots of new season clothes at a discount, but no fucking

birds with one stone). Not that I’m encouraging irresponsible

time in the sunlight. It’s soul-crushing to lock up the store at 9pm,

behaviour (I am).

walk across Claudelands Bridge at dusk, and see a newsfeed full of bikini selfies and is-it-legs-or-hotdogs-on-the-beach posts.

Unfortunately, this is the last Nexus issue for 2015. Rather than getting all retrospective and nostalgic (boring) we’re going out

To any of you being forced into retail slavery over the summer

with a bang (Oh! I just remembered that Guy Fawkes happens in

break: you have my sympathy. And probably a vitamin D

summer too!). This week I’m disappointed in Beats by J for not

deficiency. Good luck with that.

including Lady Gaga’s 2007 Summerboy in his summer themed

Not to brag, but this year I don’t have to endure mall summer — I get real summer! Well, uni summer. I’ve enrolled in a T Semester

playlists, our contributors share the best getaway spots they know of, and Emma Nygard talks summer flings for the single girl.

paper — my first Summer School paper — and I am so ready to

One last thing. Lana Del Rey is deluded — there’s no such thing

spend sunny days chilling on campus in cute shorts and my new

as sadness in the summertime.

sandals instead of inside an artificially lit, air conditioned hell hole.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

NEWS101

Lorde Interview

Rowan Doyle

Not Lorde

Having read the recent article on whether or not certain dogs are more or less

Could you please do an interview with Lorde. I feel like she is really coming

dangerous than others and watching Facebook after recent events in Oregon, it is

of age and at this point in her life I feel like we should know what she’s going

clear a similar issue is apparent for firearms.

through because the final stages of puberty aren’t easy and I think she

Recently, many people have said something along the lines of “firearms are dangerous”, however, a firearm is only a piece of metal. A human needs to load it, cock it, aim it and pull the trigger for it to become dangerous. Yes, firearms are

should encourage young women to be comfortable with their newfound sexuality and frequency of periods. It took me five years to get a monthly cycle it’s really hard please can Lorde talk about this.

used in homicides, but some people drive drunk, does this mean nobody should be allowed to own a car?

illegal, shootings will drop” there are multiple flaws in this statement, for example

Moment-No!

methamphetamine is illegal, but regularly used. Criminals do not follow the law,

Vicky Jackson

Another common misconception that is frequently stated is “if you make guns

therefore any changes made to firearms law will only have an affect on law abiding citizens and criminals will have a monopoly on firearms. this will result in even more problems. There is also a multitude of information available on how to make your own firearm from items found at any hardware store (i won’t cite these for obvious reason’s but you can look it up)

Thank you momento for removing yet another decadent indecency from my life. First exams steal my social life, then ‘sober for October’ steals the inTOXICating goodness of a rowdy Saturday night... and now you go and make $2 coffees $2.50. I get it, its only 50c extra per coffee, but you know

People have also agitated for a limit on magazine capacities, however changing

what it makes me sad because now I cannot seem super generous by

a magazine takes such little time that anybody carrying multiple magazines can

shouting my 5 person study group coffees with the $10 note I have. Momento

discharge any given number of rounds with only a thew seconds difference from

you have removed another aspect of goodwill in society. I hope you feel bad!

a high capacity magazine.(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCSySuemiHU) Assault rifle bans have also been agitated for. The problem with this statement is that to be classified as an assault rifle, it needs to have select fire capabilities (semi automatic or fully automatic)(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assault_rifle). such firearms are already illegal. the commonly targeted AR15 is a mil-spec semi automatic, the AR stands for armalite, the company that makes them. Along a

Library Elevator White Girl

similar vein is the argument to restrict mil-spec firearms as being more dangerous, however being shot with a 223 sporting rifle or a 223 mil-spec rifle will have the

#whitegirlrantahead but can someone plese fix the Elevator up to the

exact same outcome, regardless of a freestanding pistol grip, a flash suppressor, a

student centre? My daily fitness routine is already stretched walking up the

collapsible stocks or bayonet lugs.

stairs to L Block and to management, adding on those stairs up to the library

People have also stated that New Zealand has never had a mass shooting or a school shooting and pointed out the large number of homicides that occur in the USA. Firstly, New Zealand has had 2 mass shooting events, the Stanley Grey shootings in Hokitika(1941) and the Aramoana massacre(1990). There has also been a school shooting in Waikino (1923). Although on the surface, the number of murders in the states may seem high, as a percentage of all reported deaths, homicides only account for 0.6%. in New Zealand, that number is 0.9%. Access to firearms is not the problem(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aramoana_massacre) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanley_Graham#The_day_of_the_rampage)

is just torture. I mean c’mon, as if I needed more excuses not to study in the library. The inevitability of having a person sit next to you with the loudest mastication ever is already enough of a deterrent. Plus it is always awkward when you are walking up the stairs with a classmate and end up puffing like a chain smoking truck driver between rushed sentences. You already take all my money UoW please don’t take my dignity as well. But #realtalk what are we doing for our lesser able students? Are they confined to those terrible winding ramps that would make someone dizzier than those spinny things at the park. What if it rains? Shell out the extra couple of G and get it fixed!

(http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10899013) (http://webappa.cdc.gov/sasweb/ncipc/mortrate10_us.html) (http://www.police.govt.nz/sites/default/files/publications/crime-stats-

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and

national-20141231.pdf)

the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the

In closing, the shooter in Oregon had no prior criminal record and if he was in New Zealand, he would have been eligible for a firearms licence. The firearms used at Aramoana, kowhitirangi, waikino, Hungerford, Port Arthur and Dunblane were all legally owned by licensed individuals. increasing regulation will not prevent mass shootings and banning firearms alltogether simply will not work. The only reason america has significantly more shootings than other parts of the world is because it is a significantly larger country with a significantly larger population.

N.24 / V.47

SUMMER

content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech. Email your lettuce to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Science student Ashleigh Weatherall won a $10,000 Whānui Scholarship for Agriculture that supports Māori to

ONYA

AGRI-SCHOLAR

be leaders in the agribusiness sector.

FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM Social work students Georgea Hinii (left) and Rochelle Doyle (far right) are on a 10-week placement in Cambodia to help fight child trafficking.

MAKING THE TEAM Waikato Uni rowers Jackie Kiddle (left) and Holly Greenslade were selected for Rowing New Zealand’s Summer Squad.

INTERNING IN GERMANY Engineering student Rochelle Molina has won a DAAD scholarship to do a research internship in Germany.

FINAL COUNTDOWN Husband and wife duo Ku Marsilla and Raa Khimi both submitted their hard-bound PhD theses on the same day — and they have two little kids!

Full stories available on the University website. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz — thanks to those who’ve sent in their stories.

WE’RE HIRING

WHAT TO DO NEXT YEAR…

Want to speed up your degree, catch up

Do you like working with people and want a

Thinking about postgrad study? Come to

or try something new? Summer school

flexible job that works around your study?

an info session in Hamilton on Thursday

kicks off on 9 November and there are

We’re looking for a group of enthusiastic

8 October, 5-6.30pm, Academy of

lots of papers to choose from in Hamilton,

students to be paid Student Ambassadors

Performing Arts, or Tauranga on Tuesday

Tauranga or online. Discuss your options at

for 2016. Student Ambassadors represent

3 November, 5.30-7pm, Tauranga ASB

your faculty reception, the Student Centre,

the University at events around the country

Arena, to find out about your options

Hamilton, or the Information Centre at

and meet prospective students and their

and ask questions.

Windermere Campus or Bongard Centre,

parents to tell them about everything

Tauranga. More info at waikato.ac.nz/

Waikato has to offer. Apply now at

study/enrolsummer/

waikato.ac.nz/go/ambassadors

TO BUS OR NOT TO BUS

VOLUNTEER TUTORS NEEDED

CV UP TO SCRATCH?

How do you get to campus, and is this likely

Help undergrad students ace their exams

Create a CV that stands out and gets you

to change with the introduction of parking

by volunteering as a tutor or study helper

noticed. Come to a CV writing workshop in

charges next year? Share your thoughts to

at Golden Key’s drop-in sessions during

Hamilton on Tuesday 13 October, 10-11am,

help inform future planning by taking the

study break — register your availability at

Level 1 Student Centre, or in Tauranga

University’s Commuting Questionnaire at

bit.ly/1L7xG7g

on Thursday 15 October, 12-1pm, A01,

bit.ly/1h4weGL — it only takes a few minutes. Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

Windermere Campus.

NEED TO KNOW

YOUR SUMMER STARTS HERE

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEXUS NEWS NEWS FEATURE – NGA PITOPITO KŌRERO

NEXUS NEWS: A REVISION SESSION BEFORE EXAMS Sam Marelich and James Raffan

In what will be the first of a series of retrospectives, we look back at some of

Dearly Departed

the stories we have covered in 2015. Hopefully to shed some new light on the

The WSU said goodbye to their events manager prior to B-Semester Orientation.

developing nature of some of the articles that we wrote about once or twice

He will soon be joined by Operations and Services Manager Pene Delaney. Pene is

and then abandoned like a one night stand. Some of these stories have real and

a former WSU and NZUSA President, A two term SJS Chairman and a life member

substantive change, others leave us a little dead inside. These are the stories

of all three organisations. His jokes will not be missed on production day.

that affected us this year…

The WSU Board also had their share of departures. Last year’s beaten Presidential Candidate Tau Marsden dismissed himself for family reasons while Teina Walters was bounced for not showing up to the first three meetings without notifying anyone, a fate that would later be shared by Sophie Miller who forgot to put her apologies into the board whilst teaching in Raratonga. Finally, Vice-President Roy Mazarodze informed the board around the Semester break that he would not be returning due to personal reasons. All of these led to the appointment of Kale, Jadeine and Charlotte and the elevation of Kate Lunn to VP. Nexus also saw two big departures this year. Jess proved good enough at her job that Auckland stole her mid print run and Nexus stalwart and former Editor, CoEditor and Digital Editor Alix Higby is departing and graduating (!!!). We will miss them both and although neither departure is really related to this story we felt it was a good place to do it and it’s the last issue.

Refugee Crisis in New Zealand/Central Europe/Pretty Much the Rest of the World When Elaine, Sam and Alix first covered this story a month ago it was with a degree of hope and an understanding that we needed to do more. It also highlighted a willingness by people in this country to do exactly that. Shayma’a Arif of Humanitarian Relief Waikato and Tim O’Donovan of the Salvation Army both talked about a non political effort to help people. Nexus joined with the masses in calling for our government to do more to solve one of the largest humanitarian crisis of the 21st century. A month later and there is still a feeling of hopelessness and despair. Recently

The Year of The Underdog, The Really Racist, Sexist, Underdog

the Russian government broadened its definition of terrorism to include anyone

When the year started we were greeted with Donald Trump descending from an

who disagrees with the Assad regime and started to destroy the camps of rebel

escalator to announce that he was running for President to “Make America Great

insurgents instead of ISIL troops. It’s a pretty sure bet that this won’t elevate the

Again” and drive out all the Mexican criminals and rapists by building a big wall

flood of people leaving their homeland in search of a better life.

and having Mexico pay for it.

While things don’t appear to be getting any better soon some comfort is offered

Instantly Sam Marelich and James Raffan fell in love with the idea of a Trump

by the United Nations forming a kickstarter for Syrian refugee aid last week.

Presidential race because no one thought for a second we would still be talking

You can find out more by visiting www.kickstarter.com/aidrefugees

about it in October.

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SUMMER

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

Yet here we are in October and Trump is holding a commanding but slightly declining lead — 13 points in most polls — over the other unexpected outsider, evangelical Neurosurgeon Dr Ben Carson. On the democratic side the inevitability of Hillary 2016 was shaken by scandal over email servers and a continued effort to discredit her. In the search for an alternative young voters have turned to Bernie Sanders, a 72 year-old socialist. It’s a reasonable bet that should the world end in the next eight years it’s going to be because too many Americans thought it would be funny to have a president that would say “You’re Fired” to China.

Paid Parking Like the first shitty day of autumn that comes way too quickly, paid parking will come into effect on February 1 2016. Arriving just in time to wreck your bank balance prior to O-Week, it’s something we haven’t been able to stop, with WSU President Shannon Stewart conceding “unfortunately, there was nothing we could do to stop paid parking, but I have been around the table trying to minimise the negative effects on students as much as we can.” A pay by plate system has been The T.P.P Agreement We would be remiss if we didn’t mention the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement in this retrospective. It has dominated our news coverage from day one and it looks likely to continue that trend through at least part of 2016. A week ago it seemed that the major sticking point would be dairy tariffs that would crush our country’s rockstar primary industry. As it turns out the government decided fuck that and just signed the thing anyway.

confirmed and will be in place for use from the get go. “The pay by plate system should help students in terms of convenience and ease of use” she continued. “Many students were worried about having to find kiosks in the middle of campus and walking back and forth to pay for the permits and put them in the car. This would have added insult to injury, especially if students are late for class or stuck in the rain”. The system will be connected with a student’s Waikato ID and be paid for at one of a number of kiosks around campus. At these kiosks students will select the time

It still has to get through an approval phase in the US congress which might be

frame that they wish to pay for from one day, one week or one semester and their

tough given even the four leading Presidential Candidates are against it. It is

licence plate will be connected and tracked from here. Extensive signage will be

also conditional on the Canadian government “taking one for the team”. There

seen around the parking areas to remind and inform parkers of the changes and

is a gathering of Anti TPPA people in Hamilton’s garden place organised for this

more information will be confirmed in the next few weeks.

Saturday should you feel compelled to join in you can find it on Facebook under the heading “We are the People — TPPA Action Concert”

NZUSA IS Still Not Getting Our Money David Cameron Proves that the T in BLT Stands for Tory

Rory McCourt came a courting WSU and from what we can gather the board have

Taking pork barrel politics to the next level, David Cameron has come under fire for

told him to go away like a spurned ex-girlfriend still trying to make the relationship

by inserting his genitalia into the conversation. Allegations in a new unauthorised

work. This one will probably carry on into 2016 if NZUSA actually has the capacity

biography suggested the right honourable Mr Cameron got a gobbie from a dead

or the will to make it do so. NZUSA have as far as we can tell had no actual contact

pig. The incident, which allegedly happened during initiations into an elite group

with the Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce but according to McCourt this

at Oxford University. While this is not a new story or something we have covered

was by design.

in the last few weeks we felt this was our last chance for the year to talk about a Prime Minister fucking a pig. Suddenly the shit they get up to over in College Hall

The National Party Does Some Great Stuff for Students

doesn’t seem quite so scary.

Nah just kidding. 5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS – KAWEPŪRONGO

WSU: A YEAR IN REVIEW Sam Marelich

The Waikato Students’ Union. You’ve probably had it explained to you — these

Last year Board honoraria was cut by $23,000 with the provision that this would be

are the people who bring O-Week, Nexus, Advocacy, Clubs support and yet

spent following consultation with students. To date no consultation has occurred.

another round of elections every year. Now, you might be a bit disappointed that the Waikato O-Week isn’t quite as exciting as what they have in Otago, or that you don’t actually see much of the WSU at any other point in the year. Despite a seat on the Governing Council of the University, students weren’t able to stop the introduction of paid parking. As the organisation has moved into a service focused

Draft minutes from a recent Board meeting held September 21st saw unanimous motions passed that give the President, Vice-President and Vice-President Maori permission to seek independent advice on the function and efficiency of the organisation.

environment, there is the potential threat of censorship to protect organisation

Following conversations with senior management staff and directors, it can be

funding (provided from the University to the WSU). After a year of reporting on

confirmed that an operational review is also being undertaken independent of the

the issues that matter most to students (paid parking, student loan provisions and

Board’s own enquiry.

tutor pay), the question has to be asked — for all the talk of student representation, what good is it doing you?

General Manager Dave West explained to Nexus that this was partly a routine review of resources and functions, and partly a response to the expectations of

Unlike faculty specific groups such as WULSA or WMSSA, the Waikato Students’

the reduced budget approved at the AGM. Article 16 in the WSU constitution sets

Union employs professional staff to support them and to deliver various services

out the authority of the General Manager and reads:

(such as advocacy, clubs support and events on campus). Although representation occurs through an elected student Board of Directors, meeting minutes for any Board meeting after May 26 are currently unavailable to the public, making it difficult to determine what the Board have done in the past four months.

16.1 The Board shall have and is hereby given power over and control of all business, finance and activities of the Association in accordance with these rules. 16.2 The Board may employ a General Manager to conduct the administration and operational aspects of the Association’s business.

The Board of Directors are publicly accountable to the students who elect

16.3 The Board may delegate to the General Manager authority to employ staff

them, with yearly elections and Board compensation set at an Annual General

and authorise expenditure on the Board’s behalf.

Meeting. However the finances and accountability of the organisation itself are much less transparent for the average student to decipher. At the 2015 Annual General Meeting there were accounts for both 2013 and 2014. Unfortunately there is no provision in the constitution that gives the general public information on expenditure tracking for the year to date. The documents were available only hours before the event, giving students no time to properly read and review. WSU President Shannon Stewart said, “the organisation is not running as effectively as it should be. We are and always have done great work, but in the past few years things have fallen through the cracks. We need to fix this.” 6

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SUMMER

As the academic year comes to a close and a new Board of Directors is elected, the WSU face a challenging 2016. Income is projected to fall with Nexus receiving less advertising income than expected, and concerns have been raised that question the organisation’s ability to continue to deliver the same level of service provision. The 2015 Board of Directors has seen extensive turnover, with Vice President Roy Mazorodze and directors Sophie Millar, Teina Walters and Tau Marsden stepping down over the course of the year. Alright, that’s us for the year. Nexus news out.

Sports NEXUS MAGAZINE

SPORTS OPINION – PITOPITO KORERO HAKINAKINA

HIGH FIVE – NGA TAKE E RIMA

2015 SPORTING MOMENTS Japan vs South Africa RWC Win This will be one of the most memorable results in Rugby World Cup history for years to come. Up the Cherry Blossoms!

American Pharoah Takes out the Triple Crown We only ever hear about American Horse Racing during the Triple Crown (Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes). American Pharoah became the first horse in 37 years to win all three. Mick Fanning </3 Shark During the J-Bay final, the surfing world was rocked when a great white shark came nosing around Mick Fanning’s board. It was on live tv, so it’s a good thing no one was injured.

SPORTS!

Oly Whites Downed on Technicality

Chris Reive

a 2-0 win against Vanuatu in the Olympic Qualifying

Deklan Wynne was found ineligible for the team after semi-final. Vanuatu was awarded a 3-0 win. Moral of the story: learn the rules before picking the team.

Where has the year gone? It seems like just yesterday that I was writing about how amazing Tim Southee was for the Black Caps in the Cricket World Cup.

Lydia Ko

Clichés aside, this will be my final piece as a Nexus contributor. So this week is

This girl just won’t stop. She became the youngest pro

simple — why do we love sports? And what’s coming up for you to look forward to?

(regardless of gender) to be ranked number 1 in the world, and took out her first major this year. All up in

If you read my piece last week, you’ll have taken on my oh-so scientific explanation

2015 she has made over $2 million USD. Not bad at all.

about how sports make you feel happier. But aside from releasing endorphins, sports can be outlets for other emotions — stress, frustration, irritation, so on and so forth. My personal favourite release is making others irritated during the game, and then

SHOULD IT BE A SPORT? – ME HURI HEI HAKINAKINA?

having a bit of a laugh when they begin to show it. Great fun. Being a sports fan also makes you a part of a community. It sounds sappy, but if you’re a fan of a team, you can connect with other fans of either the team or the sport. And with social media you can actually communicate with the players, which can make you feel valued as a fan when they reply. My last point (I’m leaving out the fact that they’re just plain fun) is that they take your mind off your problems even if just for a moment. For more on that, watch episode 14 of How I Met Your Mother season 5 — Perfect Week. Now, here’s a few things to look forward to: October 7 – MLB postseason play begins. October 28 – The NBA regular season tips off! November 1 – Rugby World Cup Final November 14 – UFC 193: Ronda Rousey looks to keep her undefeated streak vs Holly Holm So, that should keep you going for a little while. Cheers for reading my opinions for the past two years. If you want to keep reading what I write about sports, check out my blog www.sportstalkwithsportguy.wordpress.com. Stay gold and enjoy your summer!

RUGBY Rugby should definitely be a sport. What it shouldn’t be is the one thing we pride ourselves on as a nation, the focal point of people’s existence, a way to bridge a complex relationship with your father, a religion or the first 15 minutes of any 30 minute news broadcast. We should really try making rugby a sport in New Zealand. It might catch on. Should it be a sport? Let us know what you think editor@nexusmag.co.nz 7

NEXUS MAGAZINE Left vs. Right

RETROSPECTIVE LEFT VS RIGHT In their last chance to sway readers one way or the other, Left vs Right recap the highlights and lowlights of 2015’s political landscape.

LEFT – MAUI

RIGHT – MATAU

When reviewing the year so far, from the perspective of what has been written

Despite a year of doom and gloom, right wing parties have proven incredibly

in this side of this feature, it’s impossible to ignore the influence of having a

resilient around the world. The National party had an altogether average year,

third term National government in power. That amount of time spent in power,

with very few meaningful policy wins. The TPP might have been signed, but it’s

coupled with a highly popular figurehead and lilliputian support parties at

not the trade bonanza that had been hoped, and it doesn’t appear to be the

the table, has coloured the kind of — usually negative — developments I have

harbinger of the apocalypse that was promised by every left winger (minus

written about.

Helen Clark and Barack Obama inconveniently enough).

From sucking up to the Great Powers with the mini-militarism of the now

Locally, the Labour party have continued their tradition of doing very little,

seemingly forgotten Taji deployment and “get some guts”, to the calculated

with New Zealand First and the Green Party dominating as the real voices of

rollbacks of workplace safety, workers rights and public ownership. The toxic

opposition. Aside from bungling around the whole housing crisis and selling out

combination of staying-power and hegemony, coupled with the knowledge

the unions that they used to represent, Labour haven’t really had any new jobs,

that — despite all indications of opposition weakness — it can’t last forever, has

although channelling Don Brash’s campaign recently (condemning National’s

emboldened the government to act on its ideological bread and butter while

priorities as flags & and pandas, while Labour focuses on jobs) was a nice touch.

the going is good.

As is fast becoming tradition, Australia decided they were a bit sick of their

At the parliamentary level, and prior to the sudden recent surge in left electoral

current Prime Minister, so Tony Abbott got the boot, with the more reasonable

movements, the same has been true for the rest of the Anglophone world, with

Malcolm Turnbull mounting a successful leadership challenge. The brutal

right-wing governments pushing their agendas hard.

Australian asylum centres (child abuse and widespread suicide anyone?), were

Despite all this, the news has been far from all bad, the recently finalised TPP ‘free trade’ deal and its Transatlantic cousin the TTIP have awoken an international network of protest groups and ordinary citizens who have been politicised, which will undoubtedly lead to productive troublemaking down the line. A similar process on an even deeper level can be seen in Europe where the vicious containment and neutering of parliamentary answers to austerity and

widely praised in parts of the world as the Syrian Refugee Crisis hit a high point and countries including Denmark looked at stopping the speed of this mass migration. As is typical, New Zealand continued its proud tradition of avoiding the issue altogether — although (hypocritically) we cared a bit about it when it involved our own citizens. All people are created equally, unless they aren’t like us apparently.

financial crisis like Syriza have only created a strengthened strain of popular

In the UK the Tories won an election (by a landslide) that they were supposed

organisation and protest which will probably prove much more difficult for

to lose. Always suckers for punishment, the UK Labour party decided to help

entrenched power to grapple with when the next wave of dissent comes.

ensure David Cameron wins the next election, with the appointment of far

The surprise campaigns of Bernie Sanders in the US and especially Jeremy Corbyn in the UK are the shadow of that looming discontent with business as usual.

left MP Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the opposition. Like Bernie Sanders, the democratic socialist who is whipping up support across America, Corbyn is a member of the far left. The policies they promise are excellent — free healthcare,

Despite major wins for the right on trade, work, the environment and virtually

jobs for all and a generous welfare state — excellent ideas, but very expensive

everything else, it’s the sense that we’re still living in the time of movements,

(although this is a convenient detail that is often excluded).

protest and experimentation that the Great Recession has opened up, and have yet to see where it will take us, that most stands out about 2015 so far.

2016 will be one to watch. Right now the key to success appears to be hands of government, without the radical changes that the left are so sure we need. It’s going to be interesting to see how this develops.

N.24 / V.47

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Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

FILM REVIEW – AROTAKENGA KIRIATA

THE MARTIAN

13 MINUTES

Jared Wooldridge

Richard Swainson

Like science? How about space? What’s your opinion on Matt

The true story of Georg Elser’s attempt to assassinate Adolf

Damon? And are you interested in his feces? If you respond

Hitler is surely one of history’s great “what ifs”. Acting alone and

positively to all of these questions, then I suggest you go and

without any definite political allegiance, on the very eve of World

see The Martian. Mind you, that last one might only make sense in

War II’s escalation the carpenter-cum-musician came within 13

context, but regardless, The Martian is top-notch sci-fi. It has all

minutes of blowing up not only Der Fuhrer, but Himmler, Hess,

the ingredients that make films like this and Interstellar such huge

Goebbels and other members of the Nazi hierarchy.

hits, and delivers them all in a gorgeous way. Space is very sexy.

Having made Downfall a decade ago, director Oliver Hirschbiegel

Datt Mamon is the main focus of the movie (that’s an intentional

has experience with Hitler tales. That said, 13 Minutes is a

spelling error, much like Rark Muffalo), as astronaut/botanist

character study of the assassin, not the target. Beginning with

Mark Watney. He’s having a bit of a rough go of it, as he’s been

Elser’s planting of the bomb — a gripping sequence — we

left behind on an expedition to Mars, and has to survive on

discover his back story after his arrest, during his interrogation.

Mars while NASA finds a way to bring him back. It is genuinely

Intriguingly, this non-linear structure places the audience

entertaining watching the many inventive techniques he uses

in the same position as Nazi torturers, albeit with a greater

to keep himself alive, from disco music to the aforementioned

commitment to the truth.

feces. Datt Mamon really lets you buy into Watney’s struggles, and whenever things go a bit pear-shaped, it is genuinely quite harrowing to watch.

Fascinating, sobering and ultimately just sad, Hirschbiegel’s film manages to both construct Elser as a hero and acknowledge the innocent victims he killed. Whilst his actions bear comparison

Of course, we also have numerous scenes set on Earth, following

to today’s Muslim extremists, the collateral damage is the

the people trying to get him back, but these parts aren’t

type rationalised during military actions the world over. Elser’s

as exciting. Plus, what with a gorgeously rendered martian

vendetta against Hitler was entirely utilitarian — kill him and

environment, and some great space action, the material on

you save lives — and ironically enough his reasoning inspired a

Earth does drag the movie in places. Even so, these scenes do

similar commitment years later by one of his interrogators.

help propel the film along to its nail-biting climax. It’s a classic modern sci-fi blockbuster, much like Interstellar, and if you loved that movie, you’re sure to love The Martian.

My only real criticism is that the details of Elser’s later incarceration are glossed over. Allowed to live through the bulk of the war and the Holocaust, did he fully comprehend the consequences of his failure? There was more to say on this matter.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Reviews

FOOD REVIEW – AROTAKENGA KAI

MCDONALD’S FRANKTON: CREATE YOUR TASTE Caitlin Orton

Apparently, investing $250,000 into upgrading a restaurant

cheese, salad, sauces and extras. Thank the lord for free basic

doesn’t mean that they won’t forget to add your guacamole. At

vegetables, that’s all I have to say. Bacon is the most expensive

the end of the day it’s only a scoop of mushed up avocado and

extra at $1.50 per serving, with the rest of the options such as

tomato, so why does it bother be so much?

mushrooms, grilled onions, and guacamole all costing 80c each.

Despite the obvious advertising all over the building, six out of the seven brand new digital kiosks were free. Now I like to think that I am a fairly technologically savvy person, but this seemingly simple system baffled me. Browsing through the menu options was a mission and a half. There is no way to scroll without accidentally tapping on half of the ingredients - I ended

tally of how much your burger is costing. You either have to pull out your phone and calculate as you go, like I did, or wait until the end and let your total cost surprise you. I’m not sure if it’s justifiable to be angry about losing 80c worth of non-existent guacamole. But I’m definitely annoyed.

up missing out on gherkins because of this. A click and drag

I have to admit that the presentation was pretty spot on.

option would have been a lot easier to manoeuvre.

The burgers look and taste just like the picture perfect

Mark Rush, the owner of the Frankton McDonald’s claims that, “Not only will customers be able to order at digital kiosks and have their food delivered to their table, but they can create their ultimate burger exactly how they want it. In fact, there are over

advertisements and they’re delivered straight to your table fast food with a hint of gourmet flare. Even the waiters have donned a brand new uniform, and they delivered the burger on a wooden chopping board.

25 million combinations you can choose from.” Well, Mr. Rush,

I was generally impressed with how fresh the ingredients were.

it took me a good five minutes to figure out that there was no

Goodbye soggy cheeseburgers hello fresh and crispy buns.

chicken option, so by my standards this was not my, “ultimate burger, exactly how [I] want it.” The process begins with a $10.90 fee, which takes up three quarters of my budget and leaves me with $3.10 to choose

This is not a budget friendly machine as it doesn’t keep a running

N.24 / V.47

SUMMER

It was fun to do, I’m glad I tried it once. Honestly though, considering how expensive it is, you may as well just go to BurgerFuel.

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

MUSIC REVIEW – AROTAKENGA WAIATA

BOOK REVIEW – AROTAKENGA PUKAPUKA

LOST BY HARRY PARSONS

THE SECRET HISTORY BY DONNA TARTT

Alix Higby

TruthFact#1 - Harry Parsons may well be the most talented

Here’s a 90s college murder mystery you can sink your summer

musician in the Waikato under 25.

into. I picked this novel up on an empty morning in Queenstown

TruthFact#2 - Harry Parsons has an EP out called Lost.

and the death and circumstances of Edmund ‘Bunny’ Corcoran

TruthFact#3 – There is absolutely no way of corroborating

devoured that entire afternoon. And that’s no spoiler alert, Tartt

TruthFact#1, but he has to be a contender after winning the solo/

names the victim and calls his friends into question in the opening

duet category of the Smokefree Rockquest in 2013.

chapter — the how and why hold the mystery. The inverse of

Lost begins with acoustic intricacies and a gentle sweeping chorus on opening track, So Far. It reflects Parsons’ deft guitar work especially as he punctuates the song with a few percussion strikes of his own. But the key to this track, and indeed this EP, is not his technical nous, but the feeling pouring out of every line. Parsons sounds genuine, even spirited, and that is what makes this little five-song collection so good. There’s a bluesy element here, even through the sweetness of Parson’s voice. He’s seeking for freedom on Cold Woman, he’s lonely on Winter Song, and he’s lost on, well… Lost. But he manages to keep an upbeat feel in behind the blues the way some of the great bluesmen held their heads above water. His ability to maintain an optimistic element to these tracks ensures his music is encompassing. This is an EP that could accompany a lazy Sunday afternoon as easily as a smoky Friday night. It’s that appeal, that ability to sound almost eclectic even in five short

Pretty Little Liars, with more Latin, classical history, and moody intellectual students typical of the Winona Ryder decade. The Secret History and its classic outsider narrator, Richard Papen, are obsessed with social class, beauty, and guilt (okay, a little more like PLL) — all the trappings of the rich upper class and a major part of the book’s fantastical allure. The story arc mimics its Latin subject matter, transpiring in a modern messed up twist on the Greek tragedy that is both creepy and intriguing. If you’re not a history major or you couldn’t give a toss about dead languages and “culturally superior” characters, then the selling points of the novel will be lost on you. However, if you’re looking for something a world away from Waikato University in the warmer months (jandals and DB), then pick up a Penguin Classic version for $13 and see how truly fucked elitist college culture can get. You’ll be bittersweetly content you’re a “WaiCat” rather than an American Ivy Leaguer.

songs based on folk and blues stylings that helps seal Parsons as someone the Waikato will try and claim, even if his bandcamp does say Auckland. Download for free/koha.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment

HOROSCOPES – WHAKAKITENGA

Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)

Cancer (June 21 — July 22)

Don’t you go out in the rain. Don’t go out in the pouring

Let sleeping dogs lie. If they still want you in their life they

rain. Because there won’t be any — summer is officially

will overlook your shortcomings and dumb ass decisions.

on its way and if Nexus Horoscopes say it then it must be

Unless you keep wanking on about how “sorry” you are —

true. Unless it’s Tuesday in which case it might be raining.

nobody wanna spend a summer with a guilty fool.

Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)

Leo (July 23 — August 22)

Treat others how you like to be treated. Smile at everyone

What will 2016 bring? LOL WE DON’T KNOW. Tune in

you see because exam time is going to be hard on all.

next year for more thrilling fortune-telling and shit-

Group members of course are excluded, those garden

talking, but until then — many, many computer-bound

slugs have slowed you down too many times this semester.

days are in your future. Stay hydrated.

Pisces (February 19 — March 20)

Virgo (August 23 — September 22)

If you ever needed a reason to follow your dreams, this is

Wondering where to go from here? Aren’t we all. Our

it. THIS IS YOUR SIGN. Cut it out and hang it above your

summer mission is a tropical beach with palm trees

bed because you’re headed to the top baby... As soon as

and tokenist tourism. Beyond that, it’s up to you. Take a

you finish this breakfast burrito of last night’s leftovers.

breather and read a good, intellectual book.

Aries (March 21 — April 19)

Libra (September 23 — October 22)

Some people don’t know how shit they really are. Does this

Don’t worry about your perpetually single status. It

mean it’s not their fault that they’re shit? No. Ignorance is

doesn’t mean you can’t still score with models, you just

never an excuse for poor behaviour. Educate the halfwits:

might need to start caring about something other than

“I think you should know, that you’re a piece of shit.”

yourself, like endangered animals or LGBT rights.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)

It’s that time of semester. While it will be tempting to slack

What a cracker of a day. Such a pity you have to spend it

off on all responsibilities, at least attempt to maintain a

inside staring out the Level 3 windows wondering how

moderately healthy diet. Dry flavourless noodles are for

people still manage to put on pants. If these people are

4am my-card-declined-at-Subway emergencies only.

your friends you have permission to kind of hate them.

Gemini (May 21 — June 20)

Sagittatrius (November 22 — December 21)

You’ve taken a lot of time off for yourself lately, which is

You may think you’re stressed and tired, but try finding

good. But too much of a good thing can be dangerously

time to do all the regular things as well as looking to

self indulgent. Delay that gratification and treat yo’self,

the stars each week for Nexus horoscopes. Could you

but only once you’ve written another 400 words, plz.

handle that too?

WHAT’S HOT, WHAT’S NOT – NGA MEA PAI, ME NGA MEA KINO

WHAT’S HOT 1. The Sun (lol) 2. 10 weeks until Christmas 3. Genuine compliments (hint: the compliment-giver could be you)

WHAT’S NOT 1. Locking yourself up inside bingewatching 2. Sweating your life away at 12pm only to freeze at 8pm 3. 10 weeks until Boxing Day Sales, have fun sales staff

N.24 / V.47

SUMMER

Entertainment NEXUS MAGAZINE

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME – KAUA AHAU E WHAKAHUATIA MO TĒNĀ

TRENDING ON TWITTER – NGA KORERO HIRA O PAE TĪHAU

#MAKEAMERICAMOREAMERICAN

“PERFECT IS BORING. REAL IS INTERESTING.”

Mr. Brightside @Will3K85 · Oct 5 Let’s see, how bout the punishment for shooting unarmed black men being a little more than desk duty #MakeAmericaMoreAmerican

– Ashton Kutcher would be the best daddy

“100% TAKEDOWNS DEFENDEDED, LET’S SEE THOSE STATS CHANGE”

176

Adam McKay @GhostPanther · Oct 5 Carve roided out neck muscles underneath all the heads on Mt. Rushmore. #MakeAmericaMoreAmerican 37

106

Mario Speedwagon @SilipigniMario · Oct 5 #MakeAmericaMoreAmerican Give me a minute- my tweet is being made in China.

– Ronda Rousey shit talking Holly Holm

“IN BED EATIN FLOWERZZZ FWUM YOKOOO ONNNO”

Evan Leslie Jones @Frodeziac · Oct 5 #MakeAmericaMoreAmerican GOP debate is now a new reality T.V. show called “For The Love Of God” 53

– She’s just being Miley

YIK YAK OF THE WEEK – TE YIK YAK O TE WIKI

I’m a third year student and today for the frist time I got a book out of the library...

BEST OF THE WEB – NGA TINO O TE IPURANGI

WRITERS WHO INSTAGRAM

@rupikaur_

@arthoecollective

@karleyslutever

@satiregram

This “poetess” is the “mother” of

The Art Hoe Collective is a collective

Mostly photos of Karley being sah

This anonymous “epitome of a typical

the book with a cult following: milk

of hoes who art. It was started by

kewl and totes fuckable, with the

Instagram user” posts handwritten

and honey. Her writing is simple and

QPOC (Queer People Of Colour) and

occasional promo for her Vogue

descriptions of generic and clichéd

poignant, poems accompanied by

was created to “provide a space for all

column – Breathless. Her blog,

Instagram posts. Are they technically

black and white sketches, while text

creatives of colour”. This Instagram is

Slutever, is worth scrolling through if

a writer who Instagrams? Who cares,

posts are balanced by photography.

eclectic as fuck: poems, photos and art.

you like sex.

check it out for a laugh. 13

NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

Poetry, Sex and Suicide

she’d died of pneumonia but the truth came out when a school friend

Peter Dornauf

and painting. I purchased a volume of her verse many years ago, called,

spilled the beans. Frieda was 14 at the time. She spent a long spell hiding in the outback of Western Australia as an adult, as far away from England as possible, writing poetry (surprise) Wooroloo. One of her paintings decorates the cover. It’s a picture of a towering blood-red sky, which takes up almost all of the canvas, beneath which two diminutive sheep graze. Shades of Edvard Munch and Caspar

Frieda Hughes is not a name to initially conjure with until one remembers that she is the daughter of Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath. What a family! The story of their lives reads like some Greek tragedy. Murder and suicide abound along with a touch of madness and mayhem.

The poetry possesses some startling imagery. One can’t, of course, help but read them through the eyes of events and people that were part of her tragic life. “Her days were as lost as marbles”, she writes in

Her mother, the famous poet, was always a little unhinged, half in love

one poem. And speaking of the place called Wooroloo, she says – “In

with death and tried several times to kill herself before she actually

this valley I have been hollowed out/And mended. I echo in my own

succeeded, taping up the door where the children slept and then

emptiness like a tongue/In a bird’s beak.”

downstairs turning on the gas in the kitchen, her head in the oven.

Herself childless, she records in another poem entitled, Hysterectomy,

Ted was off with another woman at the time, which no doubt

of having her disease stripped out, “Like the rotten lining of a leather

precipitated the suicide. The “other” woman was Assia Wevill, strikingly

coat”. One can almost hear echoes of both her mother and father in

beautiful, but herself a little fragile. She went one further and killed

these lines.

herself and her daughter when it seemed that Ted would not commit to her after the death of Sylvia. Ted’s mother died from shock after hearing the news.

She is back in Britain now, practicing as a grief counsellor (Surprise). No doubt the sessions work both ways. But she has recently released a new collection of poems called Alternative Values, in which one of the

Then later in life, Frieda’s brother, Nicholas, after a distinguished career

pieces directly confronts that terrible moment when her mother was in

in marine biology, followed the path of his mother after a bout of

the process of taking her own life.

depression and hung himself at age 47.

David Friedrich, both arch romantics from the nineteenth century.

Did I watch my mother’s face

Frieda, married three times and onto her fourth, has had to wrestle

As she left us bread and milk before

with her own demons. It’s small wonder. She was only three when her

She shut us in and Sellotaped the door?

mother succumbed to the lure of death. Her father put it about that

Ted Hughes has a lot to answer.

N.24 / V.47

SUMMER

Auteur NEXUS MAGAZINE

Auteur House Presents... Retrospect

commitments, some of them paid — and it hasn’t always been my best

Richard Swainson

going association with campus life. The greatest fear as, essentially, an

work. 2015 saw too many lists and not enough sustained prose. It’s a privilege to write for a student publication, especially when your last days as a student were nearly 20 years ago. There’s always the possibility that you are taking up space that could be better allocated to those younger than yourself who have a direct and onalumni writer, is that you have out stayed your welcome. This was the contention of the critic alluded to earlier. One thing that that person suggested I might be guilty of is of just

That this column attracted strident criticism earlier in the year was

regurgitating ideas or facts found on the internet. In as much as this

something of an achievement. Any writer is keen for a sign that

assertion is one of plagiarism — the worst academic crime there is — I

there’s a readership out there, even one that hates your guts. The

take umbrage. I use the internet as much as any contemporary person

point of writing isn’t necessarily to convince people to change their

of course but there’s a difference between harnessing a research tool

minds about an issue, still less to demonstrate that the author is an

and cutting and pasting other folk’s work and presenting it as your

unassailable authority on this or that. If an audience reads your

own. I have seen all the films I write about and all opinions expressed

contribution and rejects it out of hand, so be it. At least they have

— at times badly and in the slightly mannered, adjective-heavy

engaged with your material.

expressive terms of the wannabe critic — are mine.

Criticism of one’s style, though equally valid, is more difficult to

Auteur House, the business this column at least nominally promotes, is

accept. I think I’m at least as aware of my shortcomings as a writer

an anachronism in the age of the digital download. So too is its owner.

as my harshest critics but it’s a challenge to be taken to task. There’s

Thank you to any readers who have either overlooked or embraced

always room for improvement. It’s certainly no excuse but sometimes

these facts.

this column has been written in a hurry — squeezed between other

SUMMER GETAWAYS Nexus Contributors

We asked our contributors for their recommendations on summer getaways. Some are perfect for daytrips during study break (it’s important to relax in the sunshine!), and others are more like week-long celebration destinations for post-semester party season.

Karamea, West Coast, South Island “Karamea is the northernmost settlement of any real size on the West Coast and it is simply stunning! This photo is from part of the Heaphy track is one of New Zealand’s great walks and starts in Karamea. It is truly one of the most beautiful and untouched places in New Zealand.” Shannon Stewart

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

Pauanui “Climbing Mt Pauanui is pretty cool— takes about an hour and is similar sized drive to the Mt. Good coffee around as well” Sam Marelich

Okato, Taranaki “To me, summer is fish ‘n chips. In the tiny town of Okato, Taranaki, there is nothing better than getting the finest fish ‘n chips, or an ice cream and a milkshake, from the local takeaway shop to enjoy in the sun.” Jared Wooldridge

Hokitika Gorge, 30 minutes out of Hokitika, West Coast, South Island “The crappy Iphone 4 photo does Pancake Rocks, Punakaiki, West Coast, South Island

not do this place justice. The water is the bluest I have ever

“These limestone rocks have been shaped over time to look

seen and it is so beautiful there.

like a giant stack of pancakes and they are so cool. The waves

When people talk about how NZ

smash up against them and make tiny rainbows, and water

is 100% pure this is one of the

comes up from blowholes all over the place.

places they are referring to.”

A New Zealand must see!”

Shannon Stewart

Omanawa Falls, Off Omanawa Road in the Kaimais “A short five minute walk will take you to the look-out of this amazing New Zealand natural wonder. Getting to the bottom however, is a different story and involves scaling around small cliffs, hanging off trees, climbing ropes and hiking through bush and uneven terrain... but it is totally worth it. The water is ice cold, even in the middle of summer, but it is crystal clear and actually quite magical. Jump off the rocks and take a swim to the waterfall (I warn you that there are MASSIVE eels that bite!). Take a day pack with a picnic lunch and make a day of it. Definitely a must do this summer!” Olivia Paris

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

Dickey’s Flat,

Lake Tarawea, Rotorua

Karangahake Gorge

“The lesser known hot water beach, just outside Rotorua at Lake Tarawera. If you own a boat or have

Take a short, easy walk through

a friend that owns a boat head across with a few

the Karangahake Gorge to this

friends and camp out. Spend the evening soaking in

great little swimming spot.

the warm water and the daytime biscuiting across

The track features beautiful

the lake. It’s been kind of an annual event for my

scenery and interesting mining

school group to head back and do a camping trip

relics. Jump off the rocks, swim

at least once every summer, and now some of the

through the cave and slide

friends we’ve met at Uni have started coming too,

down the small waterfalls.

everybody, including myself who usually hates

Make sure you check out the

being in the presence of nature, enjoys it!”

other walks around the area as well. For $6 a night, pitch your

Emma Nygard

tent at the campsite and make a weekend of it! Olivia Paris

Raglan

“We’ve just moved into the country near Raglan,

Lake Matheson, Fox Glacier, West Coast, South Island

so I’m super excited to lay about on my deck with

After a short walk through native bush around the lake you are greeted by the incredible

a book, and go swimming with my horse at Raglan

reflection of Aoraki and Mount Tasman on the lake. Luckily when I was there the weather was

beach. My plan this year is to teach him to be my

perfect and the area was stunning. There’s also a cute cafe and art gallery nearby so you can

diving board!”

enjoy the scenery.

Rachael Elliot

Shannon Stewart

Basketball, Beach, Beer

Hakarimata Walkway, Ngaruawahia

“What does an ideal summer

“For fitness junkies who’ll find it hard to get a good

spot mean to you? For me, it’s

few days off in the sun due to summer school or

somewhere with a basketball

shitty work hours, an afternoon escape is the go.

hoop, a BYC/touch rugby/

Head up the Hakarimata stairs on a mid-week late

footy venue, a beach, and

afternoon — work on your summer bod, get some

somewhere to have a beer

Vit D, and take a cool moment for reflection with

or two when the sun’s going

the waterfall behind the dam. Plus, get there before

down. For me, it’s East End

5pm and you’ll miss all the sedentary city slickers

Beach in New Plymouth.”

who clog up the path with their laboured breathing.”

Christopher Reive

Alix Higby

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SUMMER

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

Tokomaru Bay, near Gisborne “It is the quietest, smallest and best place to do absolutely nothing. Backpackers up the hill has great views and cool cabins.” HP

Wentworth Falls,

Taitua Arboretum

Just out of Whangamata, Wentworth Valley Road

“Super sunny and stuff,

“About a two hour return walk will take you to the

perfect for a summer walk or

waterfall. The walk is easy and doesn’t require any

lunch outside around the fruit

hiking experience. The track comes to a lookout of

trees, and it’s on your way to

the fall. If you’re adventurous enough you can climb

Raglan!”

down to the fall and have a swim in the water hole.”

Grace Archer

Olivia Paris

Raglan “Everyone knows that Raglan is fucking aces, but everyone makes the mistake of walking all the way down the hill at the main beach. Take a few friends, some camping chairs and a bottle of wine. Park up by the cliff, blast music from the car and tan on the grass until the sun sets. The view makes for beautiful Insta-brags about how great summer is.” Brittany Rose

Little Palm Beach, Waiheke Island “Great little nudist beach, private, secluded, and gorgeous location. Get some sun without

Waihi Beach

any tan lines. And, if you’re feeling adventurous, you can melt into the dunes for a lil somethin

“The walk from Main End at Waihi Beach to Orakawa,

somethin with your lover.”

super sweet views!”

Aunty Slut

Dayna East

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUMMER BEATS BY J Johnny Ryan

Beats by J returns to Nexus with hot recommendations for your summer playlists! Chilling, partying or road tripping — We’ve got your back! Whether you’re at the beach or gathered around the BBQ waiting for the snarlers to be done you always need summer music in the background to set the mood. The hosts — or the go-to Music Guy in the group — has the hard task of balancing the latest songs, the classic and go to bangers. New Zealand’s summer music scene is a big deal and there is an array of festivals with very different themes and genres, from the intense atmosphere of Rhythm and Vines (where every 18-20 year old is shelving pingas and having their first beer away from home), to one of the last festivals of the season, Raggamuffin (where everyone is passing around a blunt, chilling to smooth reggae tunes, with the choice of some kinas from the East Coast). When it comes to making the ultimate summer playlist, there is no right or wrong. Below are some playlist options: ROAD TRIP TUNES

SUMMER HITS

CHILL BBQ MUSIC

Matrix & Futurebound

Nero

ODESZA

Don’t Look Back (ft. Tanya Lacey)

Two Minds

Sun Models (ft. Madelyn Grant)

Skrillex and Diplo

Wilkinson

Lost Frequencies

“Where Are Ü Now”

Breathe (ft. Shannon Saunders)

Are You With Me

(ft. Justin Bieber)

RUFUS

Robin Schulz

The Chemical Brothers

You Were Right

Sugar (ft. Francesco Yates)

MEDZ

Mattafix

New Zealand Shapeshifter

Love On Loop (ft. Anna Coddington)

Big City Life (LEEX Remix)

Monarch

Years & Years

Disclosure

The Killers

King

Magnets (ft. Lorde)

Mr. Brightside

Eric Prydz VS CHVRCHES

Nero

Rudimental

Tether

Two Minds

Feel The Love (ft. John Newman)

The Weeknd

Kygo

Alex Gaudino

The Hills

Firestone (ft. Conrad)

I’m In Love (I Wanna Do It)

Galantis

The Notorious BIG

Chase & Status

Peanut Butter Jelly

Old Thing Back (ft. Ja Rule)

Blind Faith ft. Liam Bailey

Felix Jaehn

(Matoma Remix)

Flume

Ain’t Nobody (ft. Jasmine Thompson)

Drake

On Top (ft. T.Shirt)

Lil Dicky

Hotline Bling (Cha Cha Remix)

The Black Seeds

$ave Dat Money (ft. Fetty Wap and

Down With You

So True

Rich Homie Quan)

Katchafire

Naughty Boy

Good Love

Get Away

Runnin’ (ft. Beyoncé, Arrow Benjamin)

Sons of Zion

Dragon

MNEK, Zara Larsson

Kora

April Sun In Cuba

Never Forget You

Burning

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUMMER LOVIN’ Emma Nygard

‘Summer fling’ screams romantic sunsets and long walks on the beach, holding hands and smooching. Nexus’ Single Girl, Emma Nygard, takes us on a journey into her Grease inspired teen romance fantasies. Turns out the reality is a lot more High School Musical than Sandy getting the D. Have you ever spent your summer wondering why you

If you go home you may be holding out on reconnecting

haven’t met and fallen in love with some beautiful and

with your once High School flame, which is equally if not

charming stranger, as you spend your third day in a row lying

even more cliché than the idea of a summer romance. In this

in bed with McDonald’s wrappers littered across your floor?

cliché he has spent three years pining for you, abstaining

Growing up I was poisoned by a heap of teen-lit romance

from any other girl and carries around a photograph of you

novels about going away for the summer and finding Sarah

in a non-creepy way.

Dessen’s version of the perfect sixteen year old male. He was usually described as tall and athletic, tanned with dreamy green eyes - he had a six pack but was also sensitive and cared about your insecure, teenage girl feelings. What a wondrous world these middle aged women had imagined for silly naïve pre-teens, like I once was. It took me years and countless screenings of Grease to realise it was actually kind of dirty and more importantly, that Sandy and Danny were as close as I was going to come to experiencing my own spectacular summer romance. I’m not saying they don’t exist, for people much more interesting and better looking than myself I’m sure they do — but I’m an average gal, with an average life, about to go into another mediocre summer — spending more time indoors working than out looking for love, like the majority of fellow Joe Blows. So here’s a

However, in reality you’re likely to find one of two things: A fatter, less appealing version of the person you crushed on in High School. Which you’d be happy to overlook if he didn’t also drive a scary looking van and his main source of income didn’t come from the marijuana he sells to fifteen year olds at the parties he attends now. Or; A fitter, better looking version of the guy you lost your virginity to, who is studying law in Auckland and is just back for a few weeks because he’s heading overseas with his stupidly gorgeous girlfriend. All aspects of his life seem unfairly perfect which you of course relate back to some massive revenge plot he holds against you for not choosing him as your year 12 ball date. He still wants you, really.

giant finger, popping the bubble of teenage fantasy — this is

Going home is like an annual and completely unnecessary

the realistic, albeit slightly pessimistic version of what your

high school reunion thanks to Facebook stalking, and

summer romance will probably be like. While you may be

although fun for about two weeks, it can get a little tiresome

hoping for the risqué and lovable Grease the reality is closer

when you realize the only people you actually liked are the

to the tacky rip-off PG version High School Musical which

ones you still keep in contact with today anyway. The rest

has notably more physical contact in the basketball games

are just kind of like unpleasant wallpaper at the parties you

and carefully choreographed dance routines than between

attend that you have to say hello to and make small talk with.

the two lovers themselves.

But, on the rare occasion you discover some remarkably

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

While you may be hoping for the risqué and lovable Grease the reality is closer to the tacky rip-off PG version High School Musical

fabulous individual that slipped under your radar in high

outside concept can be a little, well, unrealistic. And not just

school latch onto them, hold them tight, don’t let them go…

because you’re a sun despising weirdo but also because you

and then listen to the adorable pet names they bestow on

will probably be working 45 hour weeks at some shitty retail

you when talking to their friends, like ‘creep’ or ‘psycho’ or

job to continue paying for the flat you no longer inhabit

my own personal favorite ‘crazy-bitch’. Because you may

because you couldn’t con some poor idiot into renting your

have signed up for passionate summer romance, but he

room over the summer while also saving up enough money

certainly didn’t.

to support your unemployed lifestyle when you come back

More often than not the summer fling is accompanied by some upbeat, beachy soundtrack that makes you want to get up and feel good. Your summer soundtrack, however, won’t feature any obscure indie bands but will revolve around whichever club you spend the most time in. If,

realize you’re still far too white to venture out into sunny and scary outside world in last year’s denim shorts that are depressingly too small. So you make the executive decision to not participate in summer this year.

like me, you call Rotorua home prepare for your summer

Winter is more your cup of tea anyway — where being pale

romance sound to be Fatman Scoops’ classic jam Be

is unavoidable and an extra coat of fat is totally acceptable.

Faithful. This tune features remarkably eloquent lines like:

If you’re after something as outdated as summer romance

“if you got a $100 bill put your hand up” which gives every

make a trip to the archaic video store and rent out one.

poor student a chance to find their taxi ride home.

However, if you want a modern take on the summer fling

It is important to note that all of the summer rom-com films you’ve seen, and all the trashy books you’ve read all begin with somebody going outside. Going to the beach,

to Uni next year. Then, when your day off rocks around you

simply log onto Tinder outside. And brag to all your friends about Aaron, who lives 3kms away and once asked if you were horny. Problem solved!

going to a beachside bonfire, going to a party at a house

Or ya know, put your insecurities aside and make time to go

by the beach. Basically if you live in-land your dreams of

out and do activities that will ultimately result in meeting

summer love are fucked to begin with. Also, the whole going

people… it’s your choice I guess.

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SUMMER

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

Get Out of Town: Ngaruawahia Not all student abodes are created equal — some aren’t even within the city limits. This week’s Space requires a 30 minute drive from campus and reasonably good playlist for those long open roads. Nestled about a 4 minute drive from the Hakarimata Ranges and those stairs, lies this 3 bedroom house. Family home cum 3 person flat cum bachelor pad — it’s eclectic and handmade. The decor includes neatly trimmed logs stacked into a retired fireplace, and an Andy Warhol tribute in the form of soup cans from 2011. A wooden trestle desk is framed with to-do lists and a mix of store-bought and original prints. The arcade machine in the corner is equipped with two cup holders and was fully working up until a year ago after a cold, damp winter apparently drowned the electrics.

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SUMMER

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE – NGA KORERO HUATAU

A Fashionable Lifestyle 2015 Jess Wilson

More fun that you can shake a stick at, but not quite as fun as a bag of sand. The Common White Girl covers her frame with a plain top, either leggings or skinny jeans, and a puffer jacket. She completes the look by decking her face out with too-thick foundation, cleverly applied to hide her burnt skin from her previous occupation as a receptionist for the fiery depths of Hell. – Issue 7 Smoking is, quite literally, hot — and I’m not talking about the

We take a look back at some of the more amusing things

drugs. This crash diet is about no longer consuming anything

Jessica Wilson has said and totally remove them from their

that isn’t smoked — so you can no longer look like a joke! (Ha!

original context — enjoy!

It almost rhymes.) Only eating smoked food will largely hinder

Septum piercings, or “bullrings”, bridge the gap between human and beast, creating a complex societal message on the ideas of socialism, capitalism, and of course, veganism. A widely detested part of the face, the nose is a perfect place to express your socio-

your recommended two litres of water per day. – Issue 12 The first step to having a delicious lingerie collection is letting

– Issue 3

down your preconceived notions of what is “slutty” and what

bathes in the beauty of facial symmetry and the ability to balance life, work, and study. Your butt is also very nice (do recommend),

is appropriate. Nothing is slutty, unless you want it to be, and nothing is inappropriate for you. – Issue 16

but that’s far from the point.

If you’re wanting to make it big by shooting with a top

– Issue 4

photographer, you’re going to have to show a little nipple.

It has come to my attention that the common white boy is evolving

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consuming smoked salt, it’s low calorie and will help you drink

political agenda, as well as scaring off basic people.

If you’re like me, you never fuck up. You are a celestial being who

your consumption options. If you get too hungry, I recommend

– Issue 19

into a longboarding, rap loving, douche at a pace comparable to

Ahhh… New York Fashion Week. Not my favourite week of the

the recent measles outbreak.

year, but not my least favourite either.

– Issue 6

– Issue 21

SUMMER

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

THE SINGLE LIFE – TE KOIORA TAKITAHI

Single Life 2015 Emma Nygard

Choose the douchiest looking guy in the club. Probably has a half-assed man bun, and can be found lingering around the bar, Smirnoff in hand, scoping the Outback for some first year prey. Or, alternatively check the dance floor for the guy trying to grind on anything with a skirt. – Issue 7

We take a look back at some of the more amusing things Emma

If you give head on the first date — tell him! It’s not prostitution if

Nygard has said and totally remove them from their original

he’s just paying for dinner.

context — enjoy!

– Issue 12

There is, after twenty years of experience, something odd I have

I feel so out of sync with my XY comrades and also genuinely

noticed about the way people treat single girls. As if we’re all

confused at how other girls manage to get into relationships

walking clichés who bury our heads in Austen novels and idolize

when I can barely get someone to commit to staying over. It’s

Bridget Jones (guilty). However not everybody is as lame and

a hard life for somebody naïve enough to think other people’s

hopeless as me.

intentions mirror my own, however I’ve learned over the years

– Issue 3

(with a healthy dose of cynicism) how to tell if someone is

My step-by-step guide to pulling will probably result in a restraining order—not an orgasm. – Issue 4 Four Times I’ve Cock-Blocked Myself – Issue 5

genuinely into you and who just wants a bone. There is nothing wrong with a bone, don’t get me wrong, as long as both parties are happy with it and nobody is conned into actually developing feelings. Gross. – Issue 16 Don’t get a fringe unless you want to be mercilessly teased and

I sometimes blame how embarrassingly active my Tinder account

spend the rest of your life blaming that one styling error for the

is on the fact I have to use it for educational purposes.

reason you’re alone at night.

– Issue 6

– Issue 20

I am unsure if it’s my complete and utter lack of allure or the fact

Writing “get a boyfriend” as one of your goals for 2010 will not

that most of the time I’ll just lay there, starfish style, too lazy to do

only jinx you forever but it’s also a totally stupid goal that nobody

any of the work, that encourages my one night stands to remain

should ever make. Work on something productive and useful…

just that. I just can’t seem to get a text back.

like getting hot.

– Issue 7

- Issue 20

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

HE PUNA KŌRERO

Te Pua Wānanga ki Te Ao Showcase

exhilarating cultural experience written, designed, produced and

Taha Tangitu-Huata

our foreign counterparts who are choosing electives way out of

delivered by students. A whole semester’s effort coming to fruition. However on a more serious note, these papers are seeing an obvious increase of interest from our Māori students as well as there comfort zones, while enduring mental stimulation including spiritual growth this also allows for social development on all levels including extending their Facebook friends list through to gaining

Ko te tangata, ko te tangata, ko te tangata.

the right communication skills to talk to any Tom, Dick and Harry.

From ice cold hoodie weather we are currently witnessing the

What better way to roll through your B-semester, have some good

progression into warmer welcoming spring climates, warm enough

laughs while breaking a sweat or two, as well as hoping no one

to open the double sliding doors in Te Whare Tapere Ito, only to be

smells your hungover alcohol breath. You get an opportunity to

welcomed by the sound of 90+ students preparing for their end

learn about collective development, mental capacity growth, social

of semester final performance assessment being held on Thursday

skills along with learning how to line up and shut the trap and make

the 15th of October, in the Gallagher Performing Arts Theatre on

sure you know your words and actions. Ultimately though these

campus, but wait, it’s not all about leisure pursuits of the Māori.

students have just opened their eyes to another diverse world,

With a collaboration of slam poetry, Kapa Haka and a fusion of

through the Māori performing arts.

contemporary and traditional Māori arts and instruments, we

Nevertheless it should be an exciting evening so come along and

present the bi-semester Te Pua Wānanga ki Te Ao showcase. An

join the fun, after all it’s free.

NEW LOCALS – KORERO MAI TĀWĀHI

Diary of an Outsider Shalini Guleria

After one year, I still miss my home and as soon as I save enough money I will go back, but one thing has changed: I don’t feel like an outsider. It’s true that I still have my funky accent but everyone loves it. I haven’t changed, yet I have been accepted by everyone. All my insecurities, self doubt, feelings of being a minority have been erased and my system is rebooted. I feel like I belong. Now when I go to uni, I smile and walk with my head raised, proud to be who I am. Yeah, I still need to do the budgeting and I do get

Entry Three: 4th October 2015

one main thing that I have learnt is to change any impossibility to

Quite precise, I know.

a possibility. I have gained a different outlook on life and finally

I still remember the long 16 hour journey; cramped seating,

learnt to be free and fearless.

shoulder for the entire flight? Despite the unpleasant conditions I faced, taking my first steps in this country relieved all the stress. I wanted to be here and I finally was. But soon my excitement was captured by feelings of insecurity; being out of place because, basically, I missed my country. Whenever I compared my home to NZ, obviously NZ won and it made sense because this country

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good. My journey to New Zealand has taught me many things, but

It’s been one year, three months and ten days since I arrived here.

average food and how can I forgot the lady who rested on my

sad when my mum cries over the phone, but hey - life is still pretty

Okay, on a personal note... and this is quite personal, I saw this beautiful girl today! Before you get any ideas, I am a decent bloke and I don’t compliment girls just like that, but she was gorgeous. It was quite embarrassing, I kept looking at her. What is happening to me? Never felt this way before. Hope I see her again. And no I don’t Facebook stalk, haha.

is amazing and I can’t fault it. But still despite how polluted,

Anyway, I can happily say that I love it here and I wouldn’t change

crowded, and dysfunctional my home was, I missed it.

a thing!

SUMMER

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

AUNTY SLUT – KOKA KAIRAU

“ARE YOU A SUBMISSIVE, TURNED ON BY THE IDEA OF BEING HUMILIATED AS YOUR WIFE RIDES ANOTHER GUY TO ECSTASY?”

Cuckold Keen Aunty Slut

To bring it up, you could either ask her what her dirty fantasy is (everyone has one), then when she asks you what yours is, tell her it’s to watch her fuck herself with her vibrator. If she reacts badly, you may be pushing shit uphill with a pointy dildo trying to get her to get off with another guy. Alternatively, tell her you had a sexy dream about her fucking another guy. Gauge her reactions as you discuss it as to whether

Dear Aunty Slut,

you should admit to how turned on it makes you/ask if it’s

I have always wanted to watch my wife have sex with another man.

something she might consider, or leave this fantasy in the box.

I’m not sure how to bring it up or if she’ll just hate the idea. Do you think I should bring it up, if so how do you think I should do it? Cuckold Keen Dear Cuckold Keen, In all successful relationships, communication is key, so you should absolutely bring it up. The ‘how’ is going to depend on a number of factors. Don’t forget that inviting someone into your marital bed can sometimes leave the door open for insecurity, jealousy and resentment, so you’re going to need to be a bit careful. Before you raise the subject with her, you need to figure out what your motivation is. Are you a submissive, turned on by the idea of being humiliated as your wife rides another guy to ecstasy? Are you a voyeur who just wants to watch (and maybe touch himself a little)? Or are you using this as an opportunity to enact a homoerotic and/or polygamous fantasy? Any (or all) of these things are totally fine, but you need to know why this appeals to you, so you can truthfully communicate with your wife about it.

The key here is going to be communication. If she’s open to exploring the idea, talk about it. It can be sexy to discuss and plan something but what’s more important is figuring out how to keep each other and your relationship safe, while inviting a third party into the mix. You all need to be clear about what everyone wants out of this situation — you, your wife, and whoever you both decide should join you in sex play. Everyone has a stake, so everyone should be able to be clear about what they are or are not comfortable with. Maybe start small, like watching her kissing someone then regroup and see how you both felt about it. I know some casual swingers whose cuckold fantasies and secure, loving partnerships allow them to get amongst it with no adverse effects on their relationship. But I also know plenty of people who thought they would be totally fine, but couldn’t handle what actually went down. The more you talk about it before, during and after it happens, the more likely you’ll have both an emotionally and a physically pleasurable experience. Good luck Cuckold Keen, I hope you get your happy ending.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

#SELFIEMYMUG

“A WAVE OF ENVIRONMENTAL GREEN GUILT CRASHES OVER ME AS I REALISE I’VE FORGOTTEN TO BRING THE MUG – AGAIN!”

How to Get Cheaper Coffee

out the range at your local bike shop or online. If you can afford

Jo Wrigley

stainless steel mugs have been subsidised to help reduce the

to drive, there’s usually at least two in your car, or you can find a stylish bag (not plastic!) that conveniently holds your cup. If money is your motivator, then the University can help. Reusable 4.5kg’s of disposable coffee cups going to landfill every day from the Village Green. You can buy a reusable mug for just $7, and here’s the best bit — if you use any style of reusable cup at either

I started off this year with an important purchase — a reusable,

Momento or Espresso Plus, you get a 50 cent discount on any hot

transportable, environmentally friendly, conscious raising, stainless

drink you purchase!

steel, sustainability queen, coffee mug. But now, when I enter a coffee establishment, a wave of environmental green guilt crashes over me as I realise I’ve forgotten to bring the mug — again!

called the Mug Club, and Jessie from Momento has customers who collect cups so when they take someone out for coffee, a

and he says it happens often. It seems there are many of us who’ve

reusable cup is always on hand for guests.

at the next step — remembering to bring it and use it. This guilt has led me on a mission of life-changing proportions: I bravely consulted Aunty Google, ‘How to remember my reusable cup’.

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cup. Stacey from Espresso Plus has a collection of staff mugs

I had a chat about it to Stacy, who owns Espresso Plus on campus, made the effort to purchase a reusable cup and then fail miserably

The other piece of advice is you can have more than one reusable

To make it even easier for you, I’m helping run a competition with the Uni to give away a sexy stainless steel reusable cup and block of Fairtrade chocolate, to the top five selfies of people posing with their favourite mug during study week. Use the hashtag

The first pearl of wisdom is the most obvious, use cup holders. If

#selfiemymug and post it on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook and

you cycle there are ones for your handlebars, and you can check

be in to win — competition closes 23rd of October.

SUMMER

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

TRAVEL

“LITTLE STORES SOLD EVERY TYPE OF LIQUOR YOU COULD WANT...”

A Little Bit of Laos Shannon Stewart

Little stores sold every type of liquor you could want and shops boasting a wide array of adventure activities were on every corner. Restaurants and bars were abundant with the cheapest food and alcohol around. Vang Vieng has been aptly described as the epitome of what the world would be like if it were ruled by 20 somethings.

Trains in Asia are not for everyone, fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) my budget didn’t stretch to include a 1 hour flight and forced me onto the overnight train. After, without a doubt, one of the worst sleeps in my life I arrived at the border of Thailand and Laos. I met a nice English guy on the border and we set off to Vientiane. When I arrived I quickly realised that the capital was a total ghost town. The usual freak outs ran through my head, what am I doing here? Are the police legit here? What is that guy doing with a huge jacket on in 35 degree heat? But after talking to some stunning Americans they told us the place to be was a small village called Vang Vieng. With nothing to lose we all set off to find a bus to

The number one attraction in Vang Vieng other than the Blue Lagoon is an adventure activity that sees you tubing down a river at the bottom of a cliff. Which on its own is pretty cool but when you are stopping off at numerous bars along the way it’s even better. The staff at the bars throw out a rope and pull you in and after parking your tube the carnage begins. Muddy volleyball, football, music, stages and shroom shakes ensued and it was without a doubt the most fun you could have while drinking. The next morning after nursing our hangovers we set off for the other adventures the area had to offer. Trips to the Blue Lagoon, hot air ballooning, kayaking, zip lining, trekking, rock climbing and surveying the scenery took up the last of the weekend.

Vang Vieng and began the weirdest and best adventure ever. The

My trip to Laos felt like a dream, one that I most certainly did not

5 hour bus ride after a whole day and night of travelling was brutal

want to wake up from. Not too bad for a $40NZD train ride.

but when we finally made it I knew we were in for a good time.

THE 2015

C L U B S S E RV I C E S N E X U S

Club Award Winners

Nexus Award Winners

ACADEMIC CLUB OF THE YEAR Waikato University Law Students' Association · Waikato University Management Communication Students’ Association

BEST REVIEWER Hp

SPORTS CLUB OF THE YEAR Waikato University Snowsports Club PASIFIKA CLUB OF THE YEAR Waikato University Papua New Guinea Students’ Association MAORI ROOPU OF THE YEAR Te Ranga Ngaku CULTURAL CLUB OF THE YEAR Waikato University Muslim Students' Association LIFESTYLE, INTEREST OR ACTIVITY CLUB OF THE YEAR Waikato University Gardeners Club COMMUNITY CONTRIBUTION AWARD Waikato University Hilary Scholars BEST CLUB EVENT Waikato University Fijian Students’ Association

BEST POLITICAL/NEWS WRITER Chris Kader MOST CONTROVERSIAL CONTRIBUTOR Aunty Slut MOST RELIABLE CONTRIBUTOR Richard Swainson BEST ORIGINAL PHOTOGRAPHY Cameron Robinson BEST FEATURE Hamilton’s Somewhat Undocumented History (Samantha Brill) WRITER OF THE YEAR Emma Nygard MOST ENTHUSIASTIC PRESENCE IN THE OFFICE Sam Marelich NEXUS MAGAZINE INTERNS Ashleigh Matthews · Jessamy Topping · Johnny Ryan

BEST MARKETING AND PROMOTION Chinese Students’ Association of Waikato University ROOKIE AWARD Waikato University International Students’ Association PEOPLES CHOICE AWARD Waikato University Young Engineers Society SERVICE TO CLUBS — ‘STAFF OR COMMUNITY’ John Ireland SERVICE TO CLUBS — ‘OUTSTANDING CLUB MEMBER’ Liam Schuitemaker (Tramping Club) SUPREME CLUB OF THE YEAR Waikato University Snowsports Club

Service Award Winners DOPEST DJ Dujon Cullingford – ‘DJ Stretchmark’ WAIKATO STUDENTS’ UNION INTERNS Brianna Morgan · Briar Fabian WAIKATO STUDENTS’ UNION VOLUNTEERS Blake Collins · Brook Houghton · Dylan Loughman · Emma Weston · Erana Walker-Delaney · Gabrielle Holmes · James Robson · Jordan Smith · Joseph Edwards · Nick Collis · Stephen Harney · Tristan Houghton · Troy Anderson WAIKATO STUDENTS’ UNION LEGACY AWARD Penengaru Walker-Delaney

Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

Shish Kebabs Zac Lyon

Teriyaki Chicken 1 kg of chicken boobies – cut into 2 cm chunks 4 Tbs of soy sauce 3 cloves of garlic – crushed 2 cm knob of ginger – grated

I thought I would stay with a BBQ theme, considering I think I’m still battling a nasal ailment from inhaling burnt mould spores in last week’s annual BBQ clean. I’m fairly sure I have lost my sense of smell due to a plethora of cultivating fungi in my nasal cavity. Or I could have blocked nose. Meh, what can you do? Sniff in more BBQ smoke, that’s what. Never underestimate the flat morale-boosting powers of a good BBQ. Today we are going with the trusty shish kebab. Safety is paramount in making your shish kebab. You do not want your fingers to be included in the alternating layers of deliciousness. Be smart, delegate that job to your flatmates. Mediterranean Beef 1 kg of rump steak – cut into 2 cm chunks 3 cloves of garlic – crushed 2 tsp of paprika

2 Tbs brown sugar 1 tsp of honey Method 1. With either of the two options above combine all the ingredients into a bowl, taste and then add meats. Leave in fridge for about an hour to marinate. 2. Soak bamboo skewers in water for the same hour. This will help them not burnt into a crisp over the grill. 3. Time to get your fingers dirty, add meat-veggie-veggie-meat, and repeat. Your vegies can include: onions, mushrooms, pineapple, capsicum, or cherry tomatoes. Make your kebab and colourful as possible — get Leonardo da Vinci on your kebabs, make masterpieces. 4. Once you have used up all your ingredients throw these bad boys on a

2 tsp of cumin powder

nice hot BBQ grill. With a beersie in one hand, sombrero (being a sun

1 tsp of coriander powder (or crushed seeds)

smart kiwi) and tongs in the other keep rotating them until your meats

½ tsp of turmeric powder

are cooked. Chicken will take a bit longer than beef. FYI.

2 Tbs of oil Salt and pepper

5. Remember: SLIP, SLOP, SLAP.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Snapped

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo), wins a voucher from our mates at Burgerfuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

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SUMMER

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

Brought to you by The Bank and 97.8 The Edge. Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection. if you’re keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Just like last week, his favourite artist is Ed Sheeran (why?), and she likes Taylor Swift. He likes “the old faithful missionary” and referred to the clitoris as the “turbo button”; she originally said her favourite sex position was “one with a dick in me”, but specified that reverse cowgirl is actually her one true fave. She also let us know she’s had regular STI checks (which is super responsible), so let’s see if 2015’s last Blind Date goes out with a bang...

Had a few pre drinks but I’m still feeling nervous. I

Going out required pre-loading. I sunk my way through

turned up first, my date turned up a few minutes later,

half a box so I’d be drunk enough to be charming, but

looking pretty decent. The small talk was a little bit

still sober enough to not be re-enacting the lemons

awkward, but the bar tab got the conversation flowing.

scene from Wolf of Wall Street. I arrive at The Bank

We decided to skip dinner and just get drinks.

on time and find my date waiting for me at the table.

The Lady’s Experience

Eventually the conversation got to movies, which is when I found out the type of guy he really is. Doesn’t like Harry Potter, and wants the All Blacks to lose! It seemed like only a few drinks later when we were told we only had $3 left, so we decided it was a good idea to walk to the nearest alcohol shop, get smashed and go to hospo night. Disappointment after a tipsy walk to Thirsty’s in my heels only to find out it was closed.

The Gentleman’s Experience

As I wandered over I was having a scout to see what I was getting myself into, not my usual type but not too shabby. Going through the usual routine: degree, hometown etc, I was 2 minutes into the date when I realised that I had completely forgotten her name. Class act right there. We started pounding the drinks back, I didn’t want food to waste the tab, and she agreed, so it was looking good. Two hours in the waiter brought us a couple more shots and told us that we had $3 on the

We decided to head back to my flat. At the flat all I

tab. Panic set in, we needed to keep the liquid flowing.

could offer him was warm beer and Kristoff, he handled

A wander down to Thirsty’s was in need, but the Trusty

it pretty well. After a few drinks we decided to move

Orange was shut! She said that there were some drinks

things to my bedroom. Famous last words as I say ‘no

at hers and we could drink there before heading back

sex, just sleeping’ on the way down the hallway. One

for hospo, I could see the signs. After polishing some

thing led to another and it got heated. The sex was

cheeky Smirnies there wasn’t much energy left in the

good the first time, despite his random toilet break

tank and bed was calling. I didn’t quite get back to

halfway through… Round two in the morning wasn’t as

mine as another bed was much, much closer. As she

good though; I must have been sober.

opens the door to her room I’m greeted with a pair of

Apart from finding his dried up chewing gum on my floor in the morning it was a pretty good night. Thanks a lot Nexus!

handcuffs and condoms on the bed, I just thought of the write up and after all it’d be rude not to. All in all I was treated to a good night, with a lovely lass, whose name I still can’t remember (sorry).

B-SEMESTER AT THE WSU

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

SUDOKU

4 8 3

8 4

5 9

1 1

6 2

7 1

EASY

8 5

7 1

6 9

2 9

MEDIUM

HARD

CODEWORDS

SLITHERLINK

Each letter in the puzzle is represented by a number 1 – 26. Crack the code to solve it.

Join the dots to create a single continuous

10 15

20 25

15 8

23 13

19 16

10 23

21 1

23 19

19 22

loop. The numbers indicate how many lines

TRIVIAL

What’s a three word phrase used to describe

8 21

4 16

10 21

1 14

10 25

17 6

must surround each number and the loop must never cross itself.

3 1

N.24 / V.47

How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

SUMMER

1 3

C 2

2 3 2

the five concepts of profession of faith, prayer, almsgiving, fasting and pilgrimage?

In which building would you find a filibuster?

The world’s highest waterfall is in what South American country?

WORD TWIST

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

CROSSWORD

KAKURO

Solve the clues and fill in the words.

Fill all of the blank squares in the grid using only the

numbers 1 – 9 so the numbers entered add up to the

corresponding clue. You cannot use the same number 11

42 46

48 51

58 62

66 69

29 16

16 15

19 10

23 35

50 56

more than once in a run (eg. 7, 1, 1).

27 30

15 4

18 3

7 4

SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE We hope you have enjoyed Simple Puzzles for Simple People this year. To finish off — spot the difference!

Across

tis (3)

14. Explosive stick (3)

1. Friend (3)

50. Ogle (4)

16. Statement of defendant (4)

4. RR stop (3)

51. Potting need (4)

20. Velocity: for short (3)

7. Segment (4)

53. Lemon or lime suffix (3)

25. Help (3)

11. Stay out of sight (4)

56. Boxing legend (3)

26. Guiding principles (6)

12. Not closed (4)

58. Dennis, to Mr. Wilson (6)

27. Leatherneck (6)

13. Watchful (5)

60. Pot cover (3)

28. Copier (4)

15. Gear (9)

61. Backs of the feet (5)

29. Proofreader’s mark (4)

17. Unadorned (5)

64. Investigator (9)

30. Noggin (3)

18. Actor Brynner (3)

66. Photographer Leibovitz (5)

31. Stretched circle (4)

19. Tenant’s contracts (6)

67. Necessity (4)

32. Able to bounce back (9)

21. Army unit: Abbr. (3)

68. At any time (4)

34. Backside (4)

22. Collection (3)

69. Cook by boiling slowly (4)

35. Clock numeral (3)

23. Actress Sommer (4)

70. Prince Valiant’s son (3)

37. Begley and McMahon (3)

24. Match up (4)

71. Bard’s “always” (3)

42. Third letter (3)

27. Fannie and Ginnie follower (3)

44. Like most deli meat (6)

28. Sneaker brand (6)

Down

47. Jacket part (3)

30. Romance novelist Roberts (4)

1. Rouse (5)

49. Sir Guinness (4)

33. Journey (4)

2. No longer a minor (5)

51. Dirty look (5)

36. Al ___ (pasta style) (5)

3. Hawaiian garland (3)

52. Like granola (5)

38. In the past (4)

4. Utter (5)

53. Existing (5)

39. “Old MacDonald had a farm,

5. On edge (5)

54. Wetsuit wearer (5)

_ _ _ I O” (3)

6. Poker stake (4)

55. German river (4)

40. Elderly (4)

7. Nonsense (3)

56. “Eureka!” (3)

41. Most simplistic (5)

8. Everything (3)

57. Microscope part (4)

43. ____ and graces (4)

9. Put into a new order (9)

59. Ms. Krabappel (4)

45. Permits (4)

10. Math course (4)

62. Tell a mistruth (3)

46. In a straight line (6)

11. Casual greetings (4)

63. Do some tailoring (3)

48. They’re between sos and

12. Breakfast order (6)

65. Kickoff aid (3)

Spring into Summer

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