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CONTENTS
CONTRIBUTORS
01.
EDITOR
EDITORIAL
Brittany Rose 02. LETTUCE
editor@nexusmag.co.nz
03.
UNI NEWS
DESIGN
04.
NEXUS NEWS
Olivia Paris
07. SPORTS
design@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITOR Lyam Buchanan
08. CARE
lyam@nexusmag.co.nz
10. ENTERTAINMENT
MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan
12. REVIEWS
james@wsu.co.nz
14. ARTS
CONTRIBUTORS Elaine Gyde
14. AUTEUR
Shalini Guleria Indula Jayasundara
15. COVERED
Sean Hurley Jared Wooldridge
18.
NEXUS BURN BOOK
20.
NEWS, ENTERTAINMENT & SOCIAL MEDIA
22.
TORRENTING TEXTBOOKS
24.
YOUR SPACE
Abbey Trewavas Peter Dornauf Dr. Richard Swainson Emma Nygard Meggie Bolton Aaron Littlejohn Bronwyn Laundry Vitamin D
26. COLUMNS DESIGN INTERNS 29.
PAK 'N SAVE HEAD CHEF
Nikkole Lulu Nick Osborne
30. SNAPPED ADVERTISING 31.
BLIND DATE
32. PUZZLES
advertising@nexusmag.co.nz OFFICES Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine
ISSUE 04 28 MARCH 2016 CYBER
Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE
EDITORIAL LIVING IN THE FUTURE BRITTANY ROSE
Last week I saw a story on the 6 o'clock news about a New Zealand Halo team being successful in some championship or something (I didn't pay an awful lot of attention to the details). This prompted a conversation with my sportsy brother in which I posed the question, "Do you think that online gaming will be reported on within the sports section of news within our lifetime?" His thoughts were a mixture of yes and no with a sprinkle of condescension because according to him sports is inherently athletic, meanwhile I consider it inherently competitive and ultimately pointless — just like gaming. He pointed out that virtual reality is looming it's futuristic head, and pointed to Wii sports. His conclusion was: "Sure, once a physical element is involved, gaming can be a sport." He followed this up with, "Fine, if you want your partner to be sporty, you can think he's sporty." I consulted said partner, who spends approximately 90% of his non-working, non-boyfriending life gaming. Obviously he responded to my suggestion with enthusiasm. OF COURSE gaming is becoming more mainstream; of course, considering advancements and accessibility of technology, gaming will shift into popular culture; and of course it can be considered a sport — teamwork and strategy were his main points. In this hypothetical prediction of the way in which society will respond to advancements in technology, the fact that I am bored numb by both sport and gaming is irrelevant. What is relevant is that the cliched stereotype of a loser nerd living in his mother's basement playing games is becoming less pervasive as the internet becomes an integral aspect of day-to-day life for all people in Western culture. What is relevant is that we are living in a world with ever-increasing technological innovation and evolution, blah, blah, blah. That is why this issue's theme is Cyber. "Cyber, adj. Relating to or characteristic of the culture of computers, information technology, and virtual reality." Thanks, Google. This week we examine the theme of Cyber through a more pop culture lens than we have in the past. We don't talk about metadata or the dark web, instead Emma Nygard takes the piss out of every social media user ever, Meggie Bolton muses on the state of news and entertainment on social media, and Lyam Buchanan sheds light on the sneaky-sneaky internetty ways to get around shelling out the equivalent value of a small boat for your textbooks and required readings. Britt's cyber prediction: Virtual reality + flesh tunnel and/or dildo = sexually satisfied future humans in a long distance relationship. I'm calling it now. What's your cyber prediction? Lettuce know! lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz PS: ADD US ON ALL OUR SOCIAL MEDIA because, duh, internet. @nexusmag
Britt 1
NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce
LTOETTHTE EUDICTOER
HEY ARSONISTS! CLUB PRESIDENT
The uni club Fire and Flow hold monthly events where you can come and learn how to burn sticks and balls on strings then spin it around in the dark and impress people with your limited skill. The next one's on Good Friday (25th March) at Claudelands park around 7pm start time and we're desperate for more interest so bring some gold coins for koha and get involved. Stop copying Dunedin's couch burning ways, go join this club
Lettuce is the Letters to the Editor section of Nexus because If you
– Editor
say "letters" quick enough in a super Niu Zeelund accent it sounds like "lettuce". Clever, no? Probably not. Comment on our Facebook page, on our Instagram, or even Snap your lettuce to us. Just use #lettuce and we'll put you in print, and respond
WORSENESSS.
to your comments. Either that or email lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz
SAD LAW STUDENT
Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so
To the editor, re most recent issue of nexus...how are law students on
expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus
the same level of worseness as ducks?
and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the
Sorry, I take it back, ducks are great. – Editor
right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.
AESCHALYS?!! CUTE SEXY BABE SENT FROM MY IPHONE
TORTOISE
As a former Greek Studies student and now a balding Eastside patron and occasional reader of your magazine I must comment on
I am absolutely LOVING your Nexus mags. Onto the second and pissing
your flagrant mis-spelling of the Greek dramatist Aeschylus's name.
myself as I go through.
My eagle eye immediately noticed the error,but my tortoise-slow
Would be keen for a Blind Date ;)
reaction has only now produced this letter.
Idk what info you want though haha so let me know!
I know spelling seems to count for little in this day of txting and
The girls are loving us and gagging for a date — boiz, get at us
tweeting,but a person,especially one as famous as Aeschylus,
editor@nexusmag.co.nz – Editor
deserves respect in having the name spelt correctly. Even if it was a typo, a decent proofreader should have picked up the mistake. In future please show more respect for the ancients and their
DEAR DORNAUF
readers.A quick check on the Internet or a referral to a good classical dictionary or encyclopaedia should assist you in spelling their sometimes tricky names,
ART SMITH
New phone, who dis? – Editor "Such a venture is what helps make people cultured", really, Peter Dornauf? What a snobby approach to culture. Art isn't synonymous with culture, and art shouldn't be a high brow/low brow binary. We all have a culture, and to imply that students are lacking if they do not engage with the art you approve of is to imply that students are lacking in value. Just because you have a load of self-reinforcing opinions and more social (and probably
SHNI SHNA SHNAPPY TIT PERSON
economic) capital than a lot of students doesn't mean you're inherently better than us. You come across as a super arrogant and elitist shit. Peter Dornauf has a degree, his opinions are literally more qualified than yours. – Editor
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The butts shouldn't of won the Snapped Burgerfuel. That nipple piercing was way better!! What can I say, Nexus like butts — Editor
CYBER
News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE
Kandyce Anderson, a graduate of DePauw University in Indiana is set
ONYA
SCHOLARSHIP TO STUDY IN NZ
to begin her postgraduate research in education at Waikato, thanks to a Fulbright Scholarship worth $10,000 plus a stipend for living expenses.
MAKING THE SQUAD Hillary Scholars Natasha Fitzsimons (pictured) and Brooke Neal (graduate), have been selected for the New Zealand Black Sticks Squad in the lead-up to the Rio Olympics.
STAR PERFORMER
Photo credit: Kevin Stent/Fairfax NZ
Cellist and Hillary Scholar Sam Lucas has won the 2016 National Concerto Competition, held recently in Christchurch. Sam performed Bloch's Schelomo with the Christchurch Symphony Orchestra. First prize was worth $10,000.
BOWLING FOR THE WIN FLATTING FOR CHANGE
Fast bowler and Hillary Scholar Tommy
(L-R) Melita Raravula, Mungo Mason and Tom Collopy have set
Clout was in the Bay of Plenty rep team
up the Flatting for Change organisation, which allows students to
that bought home the Hawke Cup last
donate to charity without emptying their wallets. To contribute,
weekend, after a close three-day match
visit www.flattingforchange.co.nz
against Hawke's Bay.
Photo credit: Rebekah Parsons-King/Fairfax NZ Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.
A+B SEMESTER GYM MEMBERSHIPS
CHECK YOUR TIMETABLE
Student Health offers all enrolled students
UniRec's special A+B Semester Student
The allocated rooms for your classes can
confidential and professional medical
Membership is only available until
sometimes change, so make sure to check
services on campus. Most services are free
31 March. Visit unirec.co.nz to join online
your timetable online at
once you register. Find out more at the
or pop in and see the team at reception.
timetable.waikato.ac.nz for up-to-date
Student Health building next to the Gate
information.
1 carpark.
REVIEW OF GRADE
GET JOB-READY
CALLING STUDENTS WITH BIG IDEAS
If you’d like to apply for a Review of Grade
Internships, graduate programmes and
Do you have an idea for a business or
online, applications are due today Monday
employer visits are ramping up for 2016.
project you want to get off the ground?
21 March to the Student Centre. If you
Make sure your job application stands
The Innovation Station (former Station
need help or advice call 0800 WAIKATO
out by going to a Career Development
Cafe on Hillcrest Road) has facilities,
or visit the information desk on level 2.
Services CV writing workshop.
mentors and networks available to help
Visit waikato.ac.nz/sasd/careers/
you make it happen. Email
workshops.shtml for more info and
uwossup@gmail.com to find out more.
session times.
Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.
NEED TO KNOW
NEED A DOCTOR?
NEXUS MAGAZINE News
NEWS FAILED FOUNDERS LEAVES CLAUDELANDS BOOKED UP ELAINE GYDE
With mounting debt and significant occupational health and safety concerns the
Even if you never visited Founders and don’t particularly care for musical theatre
curtains have been drawn on Hamilton’s Founders Theatre for the foreseeable
closing a theatre still poses real questions about what city infrastructure Hamilton
future. Founders Theatre was closed by the council on Tuesday 29th March. The
needs to develop and grow. Do we need Founders theatre and Claudelands
closure raised questions as to whether something could have been done sooner
Event Centre?
to prevent the theatre’s infrastructure from deteriorating as much as it has.
Founders Theatre is a central part of Hamilton, even if you’ve never been there
It is unknown yet whether the theatre will open again on a temporary basis but
or noticed it. Before Claudelands overtook it, it was the biggest venue for any
signs look positive for the theatre longer term as the Hamilton City Council have
performers or productions that made their way out of Auckland and into our city,
recently voted to spend $13.8 million on refurbishment, starting in 2021.
with enough seats for 1,249. Even then, it’s the venue that is best suited to types
In the short term, Hamilton Operatic Society has had to cancel their production of Mary Poppins, while rehearsals were in the early stages. University student and Mary Poppins cast member, Conor Gyde said “It's not really an issue of funding. The reason Founders closed down was because of health and safety — not a lack of funding.” “When it boils down to it you'll find that almost all of theatre isn't funded — backstage, costumes, company, and dancers often aren't funded.”
of theatre, ballet and orchestral music that Claudelands is just too cavernous for. It used to be where university graduation ceremonies were held, an event which has moved to Claudelands too. The theatre opened in 1962 and was home to various famous moments — Louis Armstrong played there, the Royal New Zealand Ballet performed there regularly until recently when they made it clear that the stage was not in a state that was fit for their productions and the safety of their dancers. Hamilton Operatic Society put musicals on there every year and a huge number
“But if the biggest performing arts facility closes with such short notice — how
of comedians would make their way down the North Island stopping at Founders.
are you going to expect any interest in theatre at all. If the community no longer
There’s an iconic Ralph Hotere mural in the foyer.
has a big facility for performing arts then we can expect to see a lessened interest in the arts on such a scale.”
The building alone is architecturally distinctive, having been designed by local architecture firm White, De Lisle and Jenkins. All of this history and the role that the
The theatre has been in trouble for years, with the debt from the V8s often being
Theatre played in Hamilton’s creative ecosystem meant that when it was announced
blamed for the lack of funds to fix it sooner but the death knell for the theatre this
that the theatre would be closing, a lot of people were devastated and confused.
time, was a fly rig that an independent assessment found was at risk of failure.
The future of the Mary Poppins production looks uncertain, with the stage having
It’s also raised questions as to whether something could have been done sooner
been already custom built for Founders Theatre, so it might be necessary to
to prevent the theatre’s infrastructure from deteriorating as much as it has.
watch the Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke movie in the meantime.
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News NEXUS MAGAZINE
The effect on the Operatic Society is clear, but how will this impact the wider theatre community in Hamilton? We spoke to Waikato students, and a lecturer and asked for their two cents. GAENOR STOATE TEACHING FELLOW, THEATRE & ENGLISH EDUCATION What are your thoughts on Founders Theatre closing? The closure of Founders Theatre will be a blow to the community who have been accessing this theatre for many years until last week. I am going to see The Book of Everything tomorrow night, originally scheduled to be on at Founders and
KELSIE CALLUM THEATRE/EDUCATION, 4TH YEAR THEATRE GRADUATE What are your thoughts on Founders Theatre closing?
which subsequently had to find a new home, and hastily reissue tickets to those
Kelsie: It's pathetic, why? Why do they keep taking theatres from us? We had
audience members who had previously booked..... so even though I do not live in
to raise so much money to buy the land under Riverlea, so why?
Hamilton I would imagine the community is shocked by the sudden and dramatic
Callum: The council have been being told for years that it needs repairs. The
(pardon the pun) closure. The rumour machine intimated that the closure was due
fact they're closing it now is not a surprise. It would be good if they had not left
to Health and Safety concerns so that raises another dimension of concern in the
the Operatic Society out in the cold. At least they offered to cover the costs of
community. Was funding withheld for repairs? Was there an agenda from HCC?
Mary Poppins.
Is there a silver lining to the closure of Founders?
Have you attended or been in any shows at Founders Theatre?
The silver lining could be that 'theatre', professional and community based, is
Kelsie: I've attended, yes.
encouraged to think outside the 'black box' or proscenium arch — and identify site specific areas for performance. The Gardens, the Museum, the river, halls, schools in the community and so forth.
Callum: Yeah, both. It's always been a fantastic theatre. I hope they bother to upgrade it. Especially since it will bring things back like Royal New Zealand Ballet and the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra.
How might this impact students? The closure impacts on the accessibility of local theatre for students in the
Where are you most likely to perform/watch theatre in Hamilton?
community. May incur travel expenses, ticket price increases by travelling to cities
Kelsie: Meteor, it's more accessible and it's cheaper. It's a more versatile theatre.
further afield. Companies may avoid Hamilton if venues and spaces are limited, in
Callum: Riverlea, because it's sorta my home. I've been performing there with
turn reducing opportunities for local students to access a range of good theatre.
Music Makers for quite some time. Company loyalty I guess.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE News
NOT NEWS NEXUS PICKS A MAYOR
RIP JOURNALISM 59BC - MARCH 16TH 2016
With the news that two term Mayor — and part time Briscoes lady
In a fleeting moment of boredom we looked at the Herald online and realised that
— Julie Hardaker will step down, we thought it was time to look at
they killed an institution. Here are 7 actual examples of headlines on nzherald.co.nz
some potential candidates. 1. The Most Famous People I Have Met. This shouldn’t be a headline, it barely rates as a topic of conversation at Shenanigans on a Wednesday. 2. Find Out If You Have A Photographic Memory. If we're old enough to be browsing the Herald don’t you think we'd know by now if we remember what we look at? 3. Charlie XCX To Be Reunited With Lost Award. This is news to Mr and Mrs XCX who we're sure are happy for their daughter. It shouldn’t be the 7th story DAVID BENNETT HAMILTON EAST MP Pros
on a news site. 4. Lewis Hamilton Leaves The Country. This was the fourth most read story on
• Does better than he should with the “18-22” year old voter as long as they are blonde. • In an effort to cut costs David stopped having haircuts yearly at a
the site this week. Translated “Man finishes holiday, goes home”. 5. LL Cool J Retires From Music...Just Kidding. This wasn’t news in 1994. 6. Breasts come in seven shapes. This is not news but you have our attention.
very young age. • Nobody knows what a Mayor actually does and by that logic David has been training for the job for years.
7. Bachelor Power Rankings Week 2. Despite the fact that we all know that Naz has been cast as the villain and will leave soon, this is not news.
Cons • His likeability may only be a result of often standing next to a lot of truly horrible people. Anyone would seem charismatic if they spent all their time standing next to Simon Bridges and Gerry Brownlee.
THEN AND NOW Kyle Craven, 27, now works for his fathers construction company building churches.
Spencer Eden, now 25,
JIM BOLGER CHANCELLOR
is an American street
Pros • Knows the difference between news and satire *FINGERS CROSSED* • Objectively the best National Prime Minister of the last 30 years which CAN be taken as a compliment we guess. • __________________________________________________ If the Chancellor wants to write his own PRO in here we will print it next week.
artist and student at the Art Center College of Design. Sammy Griner 8, Still lives with his mother!
Cons • Look at ex-parliamentarian travel bills in the last decade and you will see Uncle Jim has spent less time in Hamilton than the Zika Virus. Blake Boston 24, became a DJ (obviously) under the name AKA Scumbag Steve.
Maggie Goldenberger is JOHN LAWRENSON BUSINESSMAN, ENTREPRENEUR, AVID TENNIS FAN Pros / Cons • Let’s be honest there are no actual pros or cons he already owns most of the CBD. The only difference would be the robe. 6
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now 23 and works as a nurse in Phoenix.
News NEXUS MAGAZINE
HIGH FIVE TALE OF THE UNDERDOG JAMES RAFFAN
Should The Fish win the Super Rugby Crown it will complete a massive cinderella story. We thought we would take a look at five more underdogs. FIVE GREECE 2004 When you think of traditional European Football powers, great teams like Germany, Spain, France, and the Netherlands all come to mind. If you know fuck all about sports you may even add England to that list but up until 2004 most people didn’t know Greece played football. Yet they won the European Cup and the
SPORTS OPINION A FISH TALE JAMES RAFFAN
plate replacement bill was through the roof. FOUR MIRACLE 1980 Sure none of you were alive or know anything about the Cold War, but if you have watched Rocky IV you know beating communists was tough in the 80s. Beating them in your country’s 18th
Watching the Chiefs play rugby is a little like masturbating with the lights on. You’ll
favourite sport was even harder. But the amateurs of the 1980s
do it if you have to but you’ll hate yourself afterwards. For me rugby had ceased to
USA Hockey team beat the soviets and the Canadians and for
be anything interesting since the Magpies lost the Shield and Investec/Slingshot/
three days America loved the NHL.
Caltex/McDonald’s Super Rugby had stopped being interesting when Lomu was still playing. Or at least that’s what I thought until a few weeks ago when the Chiefs announced Glen Fisiiahi.
THREE ENGLAND SUCKS March 9th 2015, a day that will live in infamy as the inventors
For those of you that haven’t followed this story it has most of the elements that
of cricket get taught a lesson by Bangladesh in the world cup.
should make you fall in love with sports. “The Fish” as he is affectionately known
For the record I can not now, nor have I ever, been able to point
is a code jumper. He started playing rugby as a school boy before being signed to
Bangladesh out on a map, but for one glorious day I adopted
the Warriors Toyota cup development league team.
them as my home country
It’s important we pause here to explain that there are four basic types of code jumpers in sports. There are the ones that are successful at a sport and when they
TWO WHO THE F@#K IS JAMES BUSTER DOUGLAS?
try something new we hope to god they fail so badly they retire or come back.
In the early 90s boxing was one man, Iron Mike Tyson. Holyfield
Think Sam Burgess in rugby or anyone to play for Australia in the last decade. Then
was thought of as a joke who wouldn’t get a match and Tyson was
there are the ones we want to succeed and be champions at two codes, like Brad
working his way through opponents, money women and Ferraris.
Smith, or Jarred Hayne. There are the ones whose personality genuinely means we
Tyson went from Iron Mike to Glass Jaw and JBD was the second
love watching them try, regardless of the results (and for those who haven’t looked
man who shook up the world of boxing in the 20th century.
they should search Freddie Flintoff Boxing). Then there is SBW who absolutely no one is sure if they like the constant jumping across three codes.
ONE JASON MCELWAIN
The thing about The Fish is he doesn’t fit into any of these categories. His time
Before you google him, know what you’re about to see. Jason
in Rugby League was all flash and no substance. A player long touted to be an
Mcelwain is the autistic towel boy who the coach put on in
intercept king and the fastest Warrior since Lee Oudenryn couldn’t string together
the last game of the season because he loved basketball and
three games without injury. First he was Kevin Locke’s eventual replacement, then
presumably the coach was a fan of the movie Rudy. The result,
he was the next Manu and like any good fishing story each time it was told his
an astonishing six 3-pointers and a field goal in 9 minutes. Giving
talent would get more immense the actual evidence of it smaller and smaller.
Jason Mcelwain the best points per minutes stats of the season.
Worse still every year it was touted to be his year the injury would visibly take a larger toll on the promising young star. As a fan you felt cheated the first time and sympathetic every year that followed. The once promising 18 year old was a seemingly broken 25 year old before the Chiefs made the curious decision to name him in their Super 15 squad. So how did The Fish do? One start, one try and a massive smile on the guy’s face. Maybe it’s worth giving the Chiefs a second look this season. 7
NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE
REPRESENTATION A STRUCTURED BOARD... THIS IS NEW Indula, William and Hana have been working behind the scenes building KPI’s, committees and structures to ensure your board actually gets things done in 2016. STRUCTURE The board has now been divided into two teams and given sub committees. Hana’s team or Team skux (her words not ours) have the sub-committees of Education, and Engagement & Consultation. Will’s yet to be named team have Strategy and
MEET THE DIRECTORS SHALINI GULERIA
Planning, and Director Development & Training. Each of the 8 board members were assigned a portfolio and a faculty to consult and engage with. They are:
Welcome to 2016, it has already been three weeks of Uni — WOW! Heya, I am Shalini and this year I am one of the directors on the WSU board and I am super excited to be a part of this wonderful team. I am currently in my final year of engineering and I just want to congratulate all the students who are finishing Uni at the end of this year; WE MADE IT! Also, for the ones who are starting off this year GOOD LUCK FELLAS! You all will do great. A little bit about myself, well I am a super chatty person and boy I can talk! During winter time you can detect me by my beanies (I have around 30) and I am all about enhancing the cultural diversity at Uni by doing awesome
Kaelyn Welfare and Equity Faculty of Education
Charlotte Sports and Recreation Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences
Zack Welfare and Equity Tauranga Campus
Troy Student safety and campus issues Faculty of Science and Engineering
Jordan Environment Waikato Management School
Jolene Post-grad students Computing & Mathematical Sciences
Kale Māori students Faculty of Law
Shalini International and Pacific students
events! Just a heads up, this year is going to be SMASHING, so be prepared!
REPRESENTATION THURSDAYS IN BLACK The Waikato Students' Union and Nexus Magazine support Thursdays in Black on campus. Thursdays in Black is a campaign by students and for students co-ordinated through NZUSA and Tertiary Women New Zealand. It's our way of standing up to violence, bullying and a culture that perpetuates and normalises sexual violence. NZ Police recorded a family violence investigation on average every five and a half minutes in 2014. This isn't even considering the 76% of family violence incidents not reported to the Police. Domestic violence is a massive problem in New Zealand, which the Thursdays in Black campaign hopes to bring awareness to. To show their support for the campaign, staff and students are encouraged
School of Māori and Pacific Development
to wear black on Thursdays. Black was chosen as the campaign colour to
Over the next few weeks we will evaluate each portfolio and evaluate what the
symbolize the harm that is caused by sexual violence.
strategic plan, the student services levy and campus services look like.
8
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CARE NEXUS MAGAZINE
CLUBS FIRE & FLOW GOOD FRIDAY FIRE NIGHT
PREZ SEZ NZUSA AT UOW
When: Good Friday March 25th Time: Workshops, 6:30 and Fireworks, 8.30
Kia Ora,
Where: Claudelands Park
I want to take this time to address something very serious. Specifically the
Welcome everybody to a world of pure imag-FIRE. IT'S ALL JUST FIRE.
idea that I am too serious. When I ran for WSU President I was just a young man with a guitar and a dream. Now I am the voice of the students and the
We're back again at Claudelands park closer to the Heaphy Trc
students are telling me to lighten up a bit. Ok it’s just Hana telling me to
roundabout. I will provide pegasol but for a small donation only. If
be cooler in public, but I get the point. So I wanted to take some time and
you want to use the fuel a gold coin (or a few gold coins) will be
tell you six things about me so you can see I am not always so serious. It’s
required and I'll even have some available for you to buy and take
weird because my friends are always saying “
home @ $9/L.
which brings me to my first point:
I'll show up while it's still light for anyone who wants to come along and learn a few things/practice in the light and once we have a few people and it gets darker we can light up. Really looking forward to getting new people involved in the scene so come along if you've never been and ask questions. Donations from spectators are very much appreciated as it goes towards buying more fuel for people to use (without having to pay for it) and makes everyone happy and feel valued. See you all there, fire bugs!
”;
1. It’s hard to be funny, serious and multi-lingual. #2ndand3rdWorldProblems 2. I’m currently looking for a flat closer to uni because Will and Hana are getting closer to catching me sleeping in the Nexus office. 3. I don’t care what the Nexus staff says, there is nothing wrong with listening to the same five acoustic tracks over and over again. 4. I don’t drink. Which is hard in the WSU office as it seems like everyone has a hidden alcohol stash. 5. I have my own awesome ‘Indula Jayasundara for WSU President’ Facebook page and an ‘@WSU_President’ Twitter account [I refuse to use the latter because only weird people are on Twitter]. 6. Sometimes I feel naked without my guitar, most of those times I have just been playing the guitar naked.
CLUBS LONELY HEARTS CLUB?
So there you go. I can be fun and laugh at myself, and I really hope everyone gets to see that this year because as a Board and a team we have a lot of fun things planned and a lot of serious things to do as well, a strategic plan, securing funding for the next five years, a serious conversation about building
Need club promo? We can help. The 'C' in CARE stands for Clubs, which means this spread is for you! If you have a meeting coming up, or you're putting on an
food outlets and bakeries on campus and a decision to make on NZUSA [cleary my usage of ‘and’ is indicative of English being my first language].
event you want people to know about email editor@nexusmag.co.nz with 'Care
The important thing to know is that Hana, William, myself and rest of the
Spread' as the subject.
Directors are students, just like you. We have the same concerns and the
Would you like to get more people hitting that "interested" star, and then not actually attending your Facebook event? If so, let us know and the Waikato Students' Union and/or Nexus Magazine will add it to our Facebook page events. Also, like us on FB if you haven't already.
same needs; we want to know where you want the WSU to head towards in the next three to five years and we want to do the best we can to lay the foundations to achieve it. Follow me on Twitter and look out for the ‘UniMart Sweep’ coming soon!? 9
NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment
BEST OF THE WEB CAT PROCATSTINATION ORISINAL CATS FERRYHALIM.COM/ORISINAL/G3/CATS.HTM Here’s a game to fulfill every one of your cat procrastination needs. It’s simple — follow the leader. We all played that when we were kids, right? All you have to do is make sure all the cats are doing what the leader cat is doing, simply by clicking on them. And, to make it even better, it comes with some funky music. GARFIELD MINUS GARFIELD GARFIELDMINUSGARFIELD.NET Now you can take your cat procrastination to an animated level! Ever wondered what the Garfield comics would be like without Garfield? Well, some genius has made all your dreams come true. This website takes normal Garfield comics and removes our favourite fat ginger cat from them. Not sure how legal it is, but it sure can be funny. CAT BOUNCE CAT-BOUNCE.COM This website is possibly the maker of psychopaths, but it can also be a fantastic past time. It’s great — you have a bunch of bouncing cats, a colourful background, and the ability to bounce the adorable kittens as hard as you want. If that’s not good enough? Click the “make it rain” button to send techni-coloured kittens flying down your screen. PROCATINATOR PROCATINATOR.COM This is my personal favourite. I had the great misfortune of stumbling upon it in high school and have spent many an hour not writing essays because of it. Basically, this website partners funny videos of cats with some hip music to go along with them. You can click as many times as you want and have an endless supply of dancing cats.
PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME
“We need you, men. Get it together.” MICHELLE OBAMA ADDRESSES MEN
JOHN KEY TRADES WITH JACK BLACK
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birdsrightsactivit @ProBirdRights · Feb 21 uhm i starting suspect big bird is not a bird at all. 2145
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birdsrightsactivit @ProBirdRights · Feb 24 i sit on a wet paints and then i satted on a nakpin. art. 2194
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birdsrightsactivit @ProBirdRights · Mar 15 "''innernet exploerer has crash windows" it ok i have that prablem also too. 2156
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WHAT’S HOT 1. Fuel prices 2. Bernie Sanders
WHAT’S NOT 1. Fungal infections
“Whiskey is the hand sanitizer for the soul.” BILL MURRAY PUNCTUATES HIS TWEETS N.04 / V.48
birdsrightsactivit @ProBirdRights · Mar 4 i look in the mirror and impress with how good at me I am today.
3. Churros from Hell's Pizza
“Two pandas for two kiwi and I'll throw in a set of steak knives”
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NEXUS MAGAZINE
MUSIC 'EXPERIENCE' DATEMONTHYEAR LYAM BUCHANAN
DateMonthYear is a Hamilton based ‘Music Experience’, not a band, an experience. To start with let's just say I was definitely apprehensive, like seriously who the fuck calls themselves a ‘musical experience’ ? This style of music is heavily reliant on its visual counterparts as it gives the audience a much needed layer. It helps listeners interpret what they are hearing and puts you in the same kind of mindset as when you’re trying a weird looking food, you know you’re not too keen but you’ll give it a go just incase. To be honest without the visual helping hand you wouldn’t really have a mindset at all, chances are you’d have skipped the song 15 seconds in. After being taken on the ride that these artists have to offer I definitely enjoy their older and more abstract pieces in comparison to their more recent works. I’m not cultured enough to be able to say for certain, but the darker pieces such as ‘Prelude’ feel influenced by the likes of David Lynch. Whereas their newer pieces look and sound as if they were created by a High School arts student who dabbled with cheap synthetic drugs. In the end it all comes down to personal preference, however if you consider yourself to be artistically inclined and you’re looking for what the locals have been cooking up lately definitely swing DateMonthYear a listen on YouTube.
MUSIC LIFE OF PAUSE BY WILD NOTHING SEAN HURLEY
FILM GODS OF EGYPT JARED WOOLDRIDGE
From what started out as a solo bedroom recording project just five years ago in a dorm at Virginia Tech, Jack Tatum has given birth to his third full length album, released February 19th on New York
I love terrible movies, I really do. For one, they allow me to be as nasty as possible
label Captured Tracks. Life Of Pause is an evolution in the sound
in a written medium. For two, every now and then there is one that fails on every
of a modern day Bowie. This album blends hypnotic orchestral
level, that it becomes a farce on every level, and the mere thought of it elicits a
arrangements with R&B sounds and introspective vocals.
chuckle from you. I chuckled quite generously both whilst watching Gods of Egypt,
What’s so great about this album and all of Wild Nothing’s other releases is that it doesn’t fit into any genre, and there is pretty
and even after I left the cinema, when I learnt that they spent $140 million making this thing. Spoiler alert: you’re not getting it back.
much no situation where listening to a Wild Nothing album
What is this disaster of film, you ask? Well, in an alternate Egypt, the gods walk
is inappropriate. The title track, ‘Life Of Pause’, is a nostalgic
among man. Just your typical Egyptian gods as well. You know, Scottish, like
reflection on what music from the 80’s should have sounded like.
Gerard Butler. Classic Egypt. So when Egyptian god Gerard “Set” Butler takes over
This leads into one of the best song introductions I have heard
Egypt and demands payment from everybody entering the afterlife, our hero Bek
in awhile with ‘Alien’. The track of the album for me is ‘To Know
seeks out other Egyptian god Horus, the Danish Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. Then they
You’, the song resonates for some reason I can’t quite figure out.
go meet daddy god Ra, who lives in his ship in the sky. Ra lives in a spaceship. They
Probably the awesome synthesisers.
can also grow animal heads.
Wild Nothing’s third album lived up to all the hype I had for
It’s ridiculous. Nothing about it is good, really. The effects, the overblown action,
it. Although I still prefer his first release, Gemini, my personal
the overblown acting, it just boggles the mind! The Scottish god, Set, is the best
favourite album, I feel the depth and craftsmanship that went
part of it! I get that studios have been trying to make a big, successful epic ever
into this new record will stand the test of time. This is the sort
since Gladiator, but they just keep failing spectacularly. And every time they
of album that will take the stress out of any given day no matter
do, it just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. I can’t help but look at a
how big your student loan or how fucked up your flatting
big, fat, $140 million mistake like Gods of Egypt and think, "Why not just make
situation is getting.
Gladiator 2?"
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Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE
TV SHOW FULLER HOUSE SEAN HURLEY
Following on from the hit 90s sitcom, Full House, Fuller House is a cleverly titled reunion spinoff featuring the majority of the original Full House cast, except the Olsen twins, and the same San Francisco town house we all know and love. This Netflix original series features plenty of killer jokes and a live studio audience who cheer every time a character enters the room, and remind you when to laugh. Pretty much the way this show works is that the characters talk to each other for 15 seconds at a time followed by 10 seconds of canned laughter. Some highlights were: "I'm having an acid flashback, no actually it's an antacid flashback" – Stoner Aunty Lady's first line. "This is even better than shark week" – Little kid's reaction when his mum lets him get a dog. What I learned from watching the first episode is that Uncle Jesse was only 10
FOOD IGUANA BRITTANY ROSE
years old when he rode his first Harley. Bob Saget is a terrible singer. There was a dog. There was a baby. This is literally the worst show I have ever seen. What saddens me is that it has already been renewed for a second full season. I strongly recommend you don't watch it, even for a laugh, even ironically. Don't do it.
I wouldn't recommend Iguana to a student budget on a day other than Sweet Tooth Tuesday ($6 desserts), or Thirsty Thursday ($7 cocktails). Their mains are fairly typically priced, but when a group downs a few cocktails each the bill seems to secretly inflate itself. Split the Charcuterie Platter ($32.90, pictured) between a few of you, or grab the breads and spreads ($9.90) instead. Most of all, don't order the Big Bad Wolf pizza. The Open Season pizza has coffee-rubbed venison, and is delicious, but the medium BBW pizza ($24.50)
BOOK #GIRLBOSS BY SOPHIE AMORUSO ABBEY TREWAVAS
I ordered was incredibly disappointing — the smoked chicken was dry asf, there was gristle in the ham, and the base wasn't as crispy-crunchy as a pizza base should be. Because the cocktails are only $7, they're (obviously) $1 cheaper than $8 cocktails on Wednesday at Easy Tiger. This makes them the cheapest cocktails in town, probably. I don't know, I'm not a mathtologist. I am a cocktologist though — high
The thing that first drew me to this book was of course the hash tag in the title. Thoughts of “oh god” and “really?” came to mind, but I have to admit I loved this book. Powerful businesswomen are really killing it in the literary world these days, high expectations have been set by Anna Huffington’s Thrive and Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. Fortunately #GIRLBOSS rises to these expectations.
recommendations go towards the Pimms Cup, citrus-sweet and
The book follows the rise of the online clothing store NastyGal.com and tells
zingy, tingles on your tongue; the Feijoa Breeze, a tall glass of
the story of a high school dropout who creates a multi-million dollar business.
pink sweetness balanced by a wedge of lime; and the Mojito, a
Although she seems like a complete badass, Amoruso is a relatable character/
minty classic that everyone should try at least once. Beware the
person throughout the read. Suffering from depression and health issues that left
Long Island Ice Tea though, a few times it's come out too heavy
her unemployed and without health insurance, it was then that she discovered
on the tequila and rendered me legally too drunk to drive.
eBay and decided to become her own (girl) boss. Everything in this book is laid
The staff at Iguana are friendly, and strike that perfect balance between being chatty and non-intrusive. They're also pretty
out with brutal honesty; even a juicy chapter on her bad habit of stealing and selling is included.
damn cute. The interior design is.... "eclectic", but the open
Classed as a business book, this novel is definitely more biographical than business
kitchen and wooden tables create a warm, relaxed atmosphere
and most certainly reads so. The use of colloquialisms and swear words makes it an
which balances the confused design. Plus, the haphazard
easy to understand and easy to read book with Amoruso’s personality constantly
mirrors in the women's bathroom make for artsy #ootd selfies.
shining through. #GIRLBOSS delivers the complete history of Nasty Gal with a delightful blend of sass, humour and wit and leaves you thinking, if Amoruso can make money like this, maybe I can pay off my student loan one day... 13
NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts
ARTS NOTHING PART 2 PETER DORNAUF
Process has become big in the arts in certain circles. I’m
surfaces that are an interesting departure from convention
not sure why. Perhaps it’s to do with various deconstructive
abstract work. His brushstrokes writhe but with a certain
impulses that abound these days. But the current show on
controlled compositional force that reveal a tension of wild
at the Calder and Lawson Gallery on campus gives us a taste
expressiveness created under the pressure of restraint. In
of that hermeneutic in a show called Nothing Comes from
three different canvases we see the progression made as
Nothing What the six artists on show are at pains to reveal
layers of paint are supplied each time.
is the backstory to their work. The finished products are on display but accompanying them are the prior working drawings, photographs, and even video documentation of work in progress.
on screen using time-lapse photography to capture the
abstract expressionist pieces, starting with observations
quick-fire event of painting itself. These squares morph and
of landscape which he translates into rhythmic scribbles
change before our eyes to present a kaleidoscopic event of
on paper using ink and graphite. These then become a
cascading colours that play and dance before the viewer. A
sort of loose template which is later inscribed with oils
static version is also on display on a board that acts as an
onto canvas. Though influenced by the famous Jackson
interesting counterpoint to the animation.
provide his forms and colours in a spontaneous move, in sync with the rock and rollers and the Beat generation of the period. Lomath builds up dense intertwining
Ani Fourie puts herself directly into the picture and we see a video “performance” of her creating a single work using the fluid medium of watercolours, manipulating the image, making changes as she meticulously works at her craft, reworking the paint surface.
What constitutes the greatest year in film history? Quality
Fourthly, 1962, the year most commonly represented in Sight
must be balanced against quantity in any such assessment.
& Sound's 2012 Top 250 survey. The numbers represent
Confining myself to a Top 10 list for each year in contention,
where each selection placed on the overall list: La Jetee (50),
here is something approaching a short list.
L'eclisse (73), Lawrence of Arabia (81), The Man Who Shot
First off, the silent cinema. The year 1928 is thought the climax of the art form, the last before the talkies began to take over. Here's 1928's Top 10: The Passion of Joan of Arc, Pandora's Box, The Crowd, The Wedding March, The Wind,
Liberty Valance (117), Jules et Jim (127), Vivre Sa Vie (144), Cleo from 5 to 7 (202), The Exterminating Angel (202) and An Autumn Afternoon (235). For a tenth film I choose Orson Welles' The Trial, my personal favourite from that year.
The Last Command, The Docks of New York, Spies, Street
Fifthly, 1959, the next most represented year: The 400 Blows
Angel and The Circus.
(39), Some Like it Hot (43), North by Northwest (53), Rio
Next, studio era Hollywood needs an entry. 1939 is an obvious year to choose but I've augmented the American classics with a couple of international masterpieces: The Rules of the Game, Stagecoach, The Wizard of Oz, The Story
Bravo (63), Pickpocket (63), Imitation of Life (93), Hiroshima, Mon Amour (127) and The World of Apu (235). To complete the Top 10 I choose the documentary Jazz on a Summer's and the Best Picture winning epic Ben Hur.
of the Late Chrysanthemums, Young Mr Lincoln, Only Angels
Finally, the 21st century needs representation. I chose the
Have Wings, Of Mice and Men, The Women, Destry Rides
year 2007, whose Top 10 is as follows: There Will Be Blood,
Again and Mr Smith Goes to Washington.
Zodiac, You, the Living, Atonement, The Counterfeiters, The
Thirdly, I choose 1946, the first post-war year, in which Italian Neo-Realism, Film Noir and British cinema reached an apotheosis: A Matter of Life and Death, The Big Sleep, It's a Wonderful Life, Ivan the Terrible, Part II, Beauty and the Beast, My Darling Clementine, Notorious, Paisan, Great Expectations and The Best Years of Our Lives.
N.04 / V.48
(without us seeing the artist). What we do see is the rapid changing colour and configurations in a series of boxes
relying romantically on instinct and the subconscious to
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paint but a video animation of the process of painting
an insight into how he constructs his heavy impasto
in that “Jack the Dripper” made no preparatory sketches,
RICHARD SWAINSON
that in a literal sense given the artist's medium is not just
Beginning with Australian, Kristian Lomath, we are given
Pollock, his method diverges from the celebrated American
AUTEUR BEST YEAR OF FILM
Kyle Sattler’s, 'A Study of Motion and Energy', is exactly
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Edge of Heaven, Taxi to the Dark Side, No Country for Old Men, Katyn and 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days. Auteur House stocks all but a handful of these films.
Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE
COVERED OLIVIA PARIS
Age: 22 Occupation: Graphic Designer, Nexus and WSU What was the process for your cover art piece? When cover artists fall through we must think on our toes in the Nexus office! With not long until our print deadline, the editor and I scrambled around the office to find anything cyber related that would photocopy well. We figured it was a bit more innovative that a straight photograph. I am more than happy with the outcome. Very effective. How much do you create on a regular basis? For my full time job here at the Waikato Students' Union, I put together Nexus magazine every week and carry out various other tasks for the WSU such as creating promotional material for events or services we offer, social media posts, document presentation, photography... I design the student diary and the wallplanner students' receive in O-week... the list goes on! Outside of work I do the odd freelance job her and there. I very rarely design just for myself and my own enjoyment these days :( Describe your style in 3 words: Minimalist, On-trend, Structured Where can people find you online? Find me on the Nexus Magazine or Waikato Sutdent's Union Facebook. Give us a follow! —
15
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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
FEATURE NEXUS BURN BOOK EMMA NYGARD
boutiques and up and coming makeup brands that test on animals even though your bio says you’re vegan. The Instagram models mainly post selfies, in fact their feed is 90% selfies and 10% healthy food pics that no matter how carefully arranged won’t look nearly as good as a Big Mac. While one may think the Instagram model lives a luxuriously laid-back life, be aware they work hard. It takes at least four hours worth of posing, 2 hours worth of hair and make-up and an hour worth of editing to create a seemingly candid photo — how exhausting it must be to stay pretty all the time. Not to mention all the haters that come with being popular. If she shaved off all her hair would she look like a British man? Wouldn’t we all?
Mean Girls, the quintessential millennial text may be over a decade old, but it's as relevant as ever — either that or it's the meme that won't fucking die.
TABLE FOUR: VINE ‘CELEBRITIES’
Emma Nygard puts Regina George to shame, jumping straight from last year’s
The people who date the Instagram ‘Models’ and infuriate the easily offended
Lonely Lady to this year’s Nasty Bitch. Welcome to the cafeteria, where no
Tumblr users. Becoming a Vine celebrity is kind of like joining the Disney channel,
internet clique is safe.
you have to fit a very narrow mold and be cute enough to get away with saying really stupid shit. In fact I imagine the registration process goes something like this:
If I have learned anything from my mild obsession with early 2000's chick flicks
Are you white? Aged between 14-18? Pretty blue eyes? Marketable to pre-
it is finding a popular boyfriend is imperative, friendship is forever and most
pubescent girls? Offer nothing mildly entertaining to anybody over the age of 12?
importantly I have learned that every single person can be perfectly pigeon-
If you answered yes to these questions consider yourself the latest internet trend!
holed. Imagine the cyber sphere as some Mean Girls inspired social hierarchy and let me help you find your spot in the social media cafeteria.
TABLE FIVE: YOUTUBE HIPSTER GAMER The Youtube Hipster Gamer is like your average gamer only with better social
TABLE ONE: EVERYTHING IS OFFENSIVE TUMBLR USER
skills, less B.O and a quirky bias for Nintendo — oh, and the actual gaming talent
The group of liberal activists who fight the patriarchy by growing out their armpit
and knowledge of a Beauty Blogger who’s played Animal Crossing once. He or
hair and are open minded enough to embrace anything as long as that anything
she still owns an original GameCube, is scarily enthusiastic about everything
isn’t a majority. Racial issues? They’ll fight it. LGBT rights? They’ll fight for it. Slam
and seriously considered doing a Candy Crush tutorial. Ironically they haven’t
poetry? They’ll write it. Straight, white, cis male? Sorry, you can’t sit with us.
reviewed any game released past 2007 despite having their X-box One on
These pretentious social justice warriors worship Lena Dunham as some kind of
display in the back along with a Link figurine that they’ve only called Zelda twice
other world deity which is ironic considering they probably fall from the same
and their iMac computer, because it’s more about the aesthetic than the gaming
tree: that tree being the self-righteous, white, middle income tree that seems
compatibility. The Hipster Gamer falls somewhere in the middle of the social
to produce so many SJW’s. Despite having seemingly comfortable lifestyles,
hierarchy and probably wanted to sit at the Vlogger's table but while he’s that
specifically when contrasted to what they are fighting against, they still always
kind of awkward Michael Cera cute, he’s not cute enough to have anybody care
seem to have something to complain about.
about his real life. Because let’s face it, that is the only reason people watch vlogs right? It’s back to Wikipedia to find ‘5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT
TABLE TWO: FACEBOOK SINGLE MOTHERS
POKEMON’ that anybody with a childhood already knew.
Sitting towards the back is the ever expanding Facebook Single Mothers table, you’ll probably know somebody sitting there, and if you don’t just wait a year or
TABLE SIX: YOUTUBE HARDCORE GAMER
so, your best friend from primary school, that girl you did ballet with, the girl you
Sitting somewhere close to the Hipster Gamers, with one momentous point of
hated in High School they all somehow found their way there. Mostly they spend
difference — they actually play games, and you’ll know it because you won’t ever see
their time trying to convince themselves they’re happy with terribly cheesy life
their face, you’ll only hear their voice narrating over an intense battle at Summoner's
quotes uploaded in 15 minute intervals on all forms of social media. When they’re
Rift. It’s hard to judge these characters on any other feat because they are rarely
not sharing lame posts from Facebook pages called ‘True Life Quotes’ they’ll be
talking about anything besides gaming. If he’s not angrily yelling at his computer
sharing all the photos of some less than cute, hairless gremlin that will have you
you’ll probably find the hardcore gamer playing the gentler, less aggressive game of
longing for simpler days when baby albums were kept forgotten about in closets.
Minecraft or alternatively on 4chan threads masturbating over hentai.
Said photos of Tyler getting potty-trained will be enough to encourage you to get back on that birth control pill that gives you migraines. Other Facebook
TABLE SEVEN: BEAUTY VLOGGERS
activity from the FSM group include angry ‘non-direct’ rants about how useless
These are the kinds of girls you’d find at your Youth Group that still listen to
their baby daddy is, how useless WINZ has been and how useless their mothers
Taylor Swift’s Speak Now album because 1989 was a little bit too risqué and sing
are for not looking after their kids so they can get a well-deserved night out. The
acoustic covers of popular songs over a ukulele. They’re quirky and sickly sweet
photos captioned ‘the best decision I ever made’ will have you wondering who
and probably have only been allowed to wear make-up for about two years in
they’re really trying to convince.
their strict Catholic household, but they come from a well to do family, so despite not having any actual make-up artistry skill they can use a combination of being
TABLE THREE: INSTAGRAM ‘MODELS’
able to afford expensive brands, brushes and camera equipment with their sweet
The closest things to ‘The Plastics’ the social media sphere can offer. As single
disposition to create a million dollar channel.
handedly discovered by Essena O’Neill the world of Instagram can at times be contrived, shocking right? Here I was thinking people were out here trying to display
TABLE EIGHT: SEXUALLY ACTIVE TINDER USERS
accurate representations of their lives, unfortunately realistic pics don’t earn you
The sleazy boys who conduct lunch time surveys to determine who would sleep
hundreds of thousands of followers and endorsement deals from online clothing
with them. “Would you like me to assign someone to butter your muffin?” 19
NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
FEATURE NEWS, ENTERTAINMENT & SOCIAL MEDIA MEGGIE BOLTON
There's that one hit wonder, 'Video Killed the Radio Star' by The Buggles, which often gets butchered into "internet killed the video star" and put in the first few lines of any article on the topic of new media written by an unoriginal writer. By calling out that cliche — while including it in the first few lines of this feature — we're illustrating how unoriginal we are. At least we're selfaware? Meggie Bolton explores the ways in which the internet is changing the way in which we consume and create news and entertainment online. Human beings tend to crave connection, so I suppose it makes sense that our entertainment and communication technology have developed to reflect that. Information and content is cycling through a loop from social media, to entertainment, to social media, to news, and back to social media, again and again, like a world-wide merry-go-round. The increased ease with which we can access news, entertainment and opinion is exciting in a lot of ways. However, it also calls for some critical thinking as to how this will affect the ways we entertain ourselves, inform ourselves, and the ways in which there is an increasing blurring of the two. HERE WE ARE NOW, ENTERTAIN US You can hardly watch American TV shows anymore without being prompted to tweet about what you’re watching with a handily provided hashtag. We become our favourite TV show's marketing team (which does beg the question, what are these TV show's actual marketing teams doing?). You’d think it would be more important for viewers to actually watch the show rather than tweet about it - not from an advertiser's perspective, apparently. But don’t stop there, once you’ve tweeted about it, Twitter will let you automatically share that to your Facebook. TV is no longer a thing consumed solely on a television set, or even solely on the website of whatever provider you’re using, social media like Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Pinterest can all be a part of how we consume not just TV, but movies, and books as well. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and the YouTube TV series that spawned from them are a perfect example of how what we formerly knew as TV series are becoming multi-platform immersive experiences. If you missed out on the Lizzie Bennet Diaries saga, let me recap: it is a modern interpretation of Pride and Prejudice, where Elizabeth Bennet is a communications student who also runs a diary style vlog. The series took place primarily on YouTube, but the characters — not
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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
actors — also had active Twitter accounts where they conducted in-character
bombs. You want that winner to be informed, not entertaining, because god
discussions. Websites were set up, and Pinterest boards and Instagram accounts
forbid they decide it would be amusing to blow something up. You may feel
created. Via Twitter or YouTube, you could ask Lizzie questions, and she would
disenfranchised in political elections, but at least your vote has power in the
do Q&A videos, all in character. You could explore the virtual world of Lizzie
world of Hollywood?
Bennet almost as though she were a real life person. This was a pretty incredible foray into how social media can be used to enrich the way we interact with entertainment media and this is just one example. On a smaller scale, Pretty Little Liars fans can have a say in what outfits they’d like to see on Rosewood’s most unfortunate teenagers. It is no longer just enough to sit and watch a show, you must also tweet about it, and maybe take a Buzzfeed quiz about which character you are, and then rate it on IMDb, and find the stars on Snapchat and Twitter and hope for some insider gossip. The realm of what is fictional has rapidly expanded with the development of social media technologies. People are no longer just viewers of entertainment content, they are active participants in its creation and maintenance, adding a whole new level of emotional investment to the media in question. NEWSWORTHY? Now, while I am all for the occasional fictional immersion to escape the aches and pains of reality, it is a mite concerning that the tools that are being used to push the boundaries of the entertainment industry are the same ones that are taking over the news industry. Print media is a dying breed. In order to survive,
While it is true the digital era is saving trees by reducing print newspapers, many of these papers can and do survive through online formats. Journalism can now be conducted through live tweeting, or through Snapchat stories. Of course, this tends to be journalism documenting the Oscars, the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, or Kylie Jenner’s boyfriend dramas. It is perhaps more difficult to live tweet the Syrian sieges, where children are starving while soldiers feast outside their walls, or to Snapchat the floods that are ravaging India. Who needs 3-D, when you can almost forsake the “real world” entirely in favour of endlessly buying into the pop-culture vortex? The other part of this decline is the fact that the news content itself is being fed from social media. Tweets are making their appearances in news articles, like that of my sister’s in an article by the BBC about New Zealand’s flag change. If all you knew of my sister was that she’d been quoted in the flag debate, you might be excused for thinking she knew a thing or two about flags to warrant such attention. I can assure you, she doesn’t — all that seems to be required to be newsworthy is to have opinions and a Twitter account, which could describe much of the western world’s population today.
newspapers and their like must move onto digital platforms, and in doing so,
There is also the small matter of our online newspaper's obsession with The
blur the lines between our sources of communication, entertainment, and
Bachelor. A quick Google search for 'The Bachelor New Zealand' in Google News
information. Clickbait articles abound, where the title of the link is misleading
comes up with over 30 articles about The Bachelor written in this year alone, and
as to the content, just because it was figured to be more attention-grabbing.
it's only been airing for a few weeks. Is there any more conclusive evidence that
For instance, Amandla Stenberg’s video on cultural appropriation being titled
our perceptions of reality and it’s relative importance have become so incredibly
by MTV as “Hunger Games Star Criticizes Taylor Swift” when only the barest
skewed that our news sources have dedicated themselves to reporting on a TV
mention of Taylor Swift was actually made in the video. This shows a melding
show based on make-believe pretending to be reality?
of media, musicians and actresses in a video designed to educate. It made the rounds through Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr at least, all packaged up to look more entertaining than philosophically educational.
Social media has forever changed how we consume entertainment, because it has changed the way we consume information. People have more agency in what kind of content we wish to encounter because we can tell the producers
The American election coverage which abounds on social media these days
what we want, we can tell the Facebook algorithm what we don't want to see,
is another prime example of where being entertaining and sensational has
or we can create content ourselves and share it widely. So the next time you’re
superseded being informative in news. This is especially concerning when we
scrolling through social media, think a little about how far down the rabbit hole
are talking about a popularity contest where the winner gets to play with nuclear
you’re willing to go, and where you will cast your viewing vote. 21
NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
FEATURE TORRENTING TEXTBOOKS LYAM BUCHANAN
University classes have required readings. That's a stone cold fact. Textbooks
nothing and hit Ctrl-F on the PDF version and find exactly what you need? Fuck
cost money. Students don't have a buttload of money. More facts. Lyam
antiquated contents pages and forget about using the index.
investigates the options for acquiring your textbooks for as cheap as possible: from second hand purchases, he considers thieving from Bennett's Bookstore and settles on torrenting as the best choice. How convenient considering this is the Cyber Issue. The idea of having a rustic bookshelf filled with all the textbooks you studied at university is quite appealing to some. I guess it would give some sense of accomplishment and make you feel as if you’re one of those rich scholars you see in movies. Maybe I’m wrong but I know I’d definitely rather have the money to pay rent, buy food and enjoy the occasional beer or two. Why would I want something which will just stress me out and make me feel guilty for not studying everytime I look at it? Taken aback by how much textbooks cost, I asked a sample group of 14 students
The other option is theft. Bennett's Bookstore unreliably stocks all of the compulsory texts for papers at Waikato, but the staff are to friendly, and shoving books down your pants is not a subtle move. The best option is to steal nontangible copies. Torrent your textbooks. It really isn’t that hard. A simple Google search is half the battle. As long as you're not computer illiterate there really isn’t too much to mess up. Here’s a friendly step by step guide, just incase: 1. Type ‘Torrent Textbooks’ into your best friend Google; 2. Find a lovely custom search engine; 3. Type the name of the handsome textbook you wish to acquire; 4. Use all the money you just saved on things you don’t need like more fast food and cheap piss.
taking different degrees how much their textbooks for the semester cost.
Alternatively, go on torrent search engines such as The Pirate Bay or Kickass and
Although it's not a particularly scientific study, it does give a bit of insight. From
just type in the name of your textbook - it's just as effective. The biggest danger
Engineering and Law to Graphic Design and Media the average price I found for
of visiting these websites is temptation. As you scroll to find the textbook, the
a semester was $268. With that kind of money lying around you could take that
sidebars of the page will be filled with extremely convincing ads. Tales of ‘horny
girl Molly you’ve been talking about out on a romantic dinner date. Your side
singles in your area’ and ‘lonely local mums’ are accompanied by crude gifs and
girls Lucy and Mary could probably even tag along as well. A lot of people hate
fake tits. I can assure you that the horniest single in your area is you, and tell you
doing long periods of reading on a screen, but of my sample of 14 students, 79%
for a fact that the lonely local mums just want a hand with the house work.
of them would rather download their textbook if it was free than have a physical copy. I guess the other three either have too much money to spare or really enjoy holding the physical embodiment of stress.
By this point you’re either already halfway through downloading your textbooks and in the process of making a shrine to your Almighty Lord and Saviour Lyam, or you're using the pages of this magazine to wipe away your tears as you realise
After researching how much it was going to cost to buy this semester's textbooks
just how much money you could have saved. However I know there are some
I considered selling the majority of my vital organs. $740 for 3 books for one
stubborn cunts out there who are refusing to accept textbook torrenting into
semester is fucking ridiculous. After realising the importance of vital organs, I
their lives. Think of me as a slightly less socially challenged Jehovah's Witness,
promptly torrented each textbook I needed. It might be morally questionable,
I’m not going to stop shoving this down your throat until the thought of buying
and definitely breaks the law, but I reveled in the money I saved.
textbooks is just as laughable as your dreams and aspirations.
If you're an English student and want to buy second hand, you can always
"I need to buy the physical copy because staring at a screen hurts my eyes" is
try Browsers Bookstore on Victoria St, they often have a few Penguin Classic
the biggest bullshit excuse possible. We’re all spending 7-9 hours daily looking at
versions of anything by Austen or Shakespeare floating around. However, most
screens without even realising it so what’s an extra half an hour of reading to save
students aren't English students so that's piss useless advice. Plus, second hand
yourself a bunch of money? I’m not going to bring up the argument of saving
books often have stray hairs or suspiciously bogey looking muck in them. But
the trees, as that’s far too ironic to read in a magazine, but, when you don't buy
why would you even want to spend $60-$80 on some crusty old book that you
physical textbooks think of all the space saved on your rustic bookshelf just for
have to skim read every time you want to find a quote when you can spend
your Nexus collection. 23
NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space
YOUR SPACE BOYS ON YORK In the midst of student flats a house filled with boys would likely lead a real estate agent to predict that these tenants won't be getting their bond back. The middle aged, hairspray smelling, fake-nailed bitch who makes this kind of stereotype would be shocked to find an astoundingly organised and tidy house on York st. In the plywood lined garage is a pretty sweet budget games room with a pool table, a couch — the room has the obvious capacity to be a chill spot to down a few ciders on a Friday afternoon. —
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Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE
25
NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
hari kOrero NEW LOCALS WHAT ON EARTH IS MOODLE?
HARI KŌRERO PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT?
SHALINI GULERIA
AARON LITTLEJOHN, FROM TE WHAKAHIAPO
Alright first day of Uni and I think I am ready to start, or maybe not!
Most New Zealanders want a society in which everyone is treated equally —
Honestly I haven’t been this nervous ever in my life and here I have butterflies in
why wouldn’t we?
my stomach. What’s up with me? I am not even going on a date or something
Most of us are well aware of the growing number of Māori student bodies and
that I should be nervous for, this is messed up! You might think I am crazy but
establishments on University grounds that seem to exist solely to further the
this is very strange for me as well. I used to be super confident; always talking
agenda and success of Māori students. These establishments provide services
to people, eager to take on anything that life throws my way but this is new to
ranging from academic support to career development, and often facilitate
me, this country is new to me and I do feel like a stranger here. Don’t get me
regular hui for members to engage and meet other Māori students within a
wrong, the people here are amazing and super cool but I still miss my country
kaupapa Māori setting. The question that is often left unanswered for many
where I spent 18 years of my life, so starting Uni here is slightly scary.
non-Māori students, is why the needs of Māori students seem to be placed
Anyway, enough of my rants I want to tell you something different that I have noticed here and when I told this to my friends back home they were so
on a pedestal in comparison to the majority of the University of Waikato’s primarily non-Māori student base.
jealous. I CAN USE MY PHONE DURING LECTURES!! And the entire university
Many non-Māori are quick to assume the mantle of victimhood when faced
has WIFI!! This is a luxury to me and I know you all might think, 'ummmm she
with an increasing trend toward the development and implementation of
is weird'. Back home, University is so different; you can’t use phones during
social initiatives that primarily benefit Māori in New Zealand. This extends
lectures and if you do the lecturer can kick you out — yup, they have that
to University campuses. So is it racist to have Māori student representative
authority. Also there are only some places where wifi is available with super
bodies at the University of Waikato?
slow speed, so it’s useless. But here I love it, I can use internet whenever and wherever I want and I won’t get kicked out. Although there is one thing that did confuse me, today in class the lecturer mentioned ‘Moodle’, now I have heard of poodle which is a dog’s breed but what is this Moodle? Everyone around me seemed to know about this and eventually I found out as well but I still didn’t get the name, why 'Moodle'? Back home we had ‘Student Hub’, which makes sense as the name is self explanatory but whenever I hear the word ‘Moodle’ all I can think of is poodles or sometimes when I am hungry I think of noodles. I just think it’s a funny name and at times it plays with my emotions but saying that, it’s very resource full. Despite the new surroundings I must admit this place is pretty sweet!
It is fair to infer that the true premise of racial discrimination lies in intent. Therefore, when intent is adverse or dubious, it is more than reasonable to question the validity of race-specific affirmative action or initiative. There is however, no substantive evidence to suggest that the intent of Māori student bodies is dubious. They do not exist to drive the importance of Māori over and above other cultures at the University of Waikato, nor do they exist to push a silent vendetta of Māori special treatment. They exist to provide Māori with opportunities for whakawhanaungatanga, manaakitanga and the proliferation of Te Reo Māori within a kaupapa Māori environment. Māori face a subset of unique social challenges that extend to the education realm. Māori are significantly underrepresented as university graduates. The reasons for these challenges are unique to this country and there is mountains of empirical evidence that suggests that cultural reintegration is an important part of closing the gaps between Māori and non-Māori in respect to academic achievement. The University of Waikato has stepped up to the challenge and has forged positive and lasting partnerships with Māori and iwi in the Waikato region. It has committed to lifting Māori achievement. This is something that all Waikato University students should be proud of.
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Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE
NERD YORK TIMES WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?
EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILES
JARED WOOLDRIDGE
BRONWYN LAUNDRY
There is a war coming. A war between two powerful factions, both of which
EXPECTATION
are equally certain that they are right, and who are putting innocents right in
Your Instagram, to quote the youth is “On point”. You nail every single selfie
the middle of the fight, forcing them to choose sides. There are those who
on your first try and they always get at least 100 likes within one hour. Your
wish to live in peace, and enjoy what both sides have to offer, but such a way
theme is flawless and not a hashtag is out of place; the comments section is
of life may very well cease to exist in 2016. I’m talking, of course, about the
full of “Yasssss” and “Killing it”. Your Facebook is full of witty statuses that not
war between Marvel fans and DC fans. You may be scared, but don’t worry: I’m
a single person gets annoyed by. You’ve never made a fool of yourself and
being far, far too melodramatic.
posted 20 meme videos in a row while drunk or accidentally friend requested
This month, Batman and Superman will V each other. Not vs for some reason, no, it’s Batman V Superman. It’s a slippery slope to Batman x Superman, but I’m getting way off task here. The point being that this movie will lay the groundwork for the Justice League, and will pitch them in future against the Avengers. DC fans are excited; they’ve had to live under the yoke of Marvel Cinematic dominance for far too long. But if you’ve been online, seen the trailers, and read any of the comments, you might have noticed that things are starting to get nasty. And it’s really stupid.
your significant other’s ex while in full on stalk mode. You are a social media wizard and are always on top of the latest trends (you saw “Damn Daniel” before it even hit 100k views). Your Tinder inbox is full of messages from babes because no one can resist your punny bio and totally candid beach pics with puppies. If Twitter were relevant to anyone other than celebrities then you’d definitely be a pro at that too. REALITY You go into mild panic mode when your latest Insta has been up for 2 hours
Now I’m not talking about all fans here. Some just prefer Batman to Iron Man,
and still hasn’t crossed over into the 11 likes threshold; you are having regrets
some think Superman is stupid and Thor is cool. But for you meanies? You’re
about posting a squad pic because it ruined your streak of minimalistic and
starting to ruin it for everyone else! I have my own personal preferences and
artsy flat lays. You accidentally double tap an Insta your crush made 157
arguments, but chill down! The amount of hate pouring out from both sides,
weeks ago, but you know they’re online so it’s too late to fix it and you have
from Marvel asshats (just referring to fans who are asshats, not all of them)
to marinate in your embarrassment. You keep getting tagged on Facebook
and DC asshats (ditto) is just ridiculous! Why can’t you both just go ahead
in a video from Year 11 of you popping a squat in your bestfriend’s garden,
and love your own bloody beloved fictional characters without taking to the
and the photo of you coma'd out with sharpie dicks all over your face won’t
internet and dragging each others’ mothers into this whole affair! A) I don’t
seem to go away — no matter how many times you’ve told your flatmate that
think they care, and b) what is it with you people and mothers?
you are FB friends with your boss. You forget to block your family from your
Yes, Batman and Superman are going to fight. Yes, Iron Man and Captain America are going to fight, but the two groups are not fighting each other. Why do you have to insist the other is going to fail catastrophically because your fandom is so superior? Why is a movie that hasn’t even been released yet absolutely crap? Why do you have to spoil being a fan, just because you’re an asshat who makes others who express a love of these characters look bad? Seriously, quit being asshats, and just let people enjoy their own thing! Get
latest status before you post it and your mum likes it, prompting a comment from your Aunty that reads “LOL! Nice one, you are such a wild card! How is Uni going? xx” The last Tinder message you got said “Hahaha… we’re related!” Word of advice: Life is what happens when you’re busy checking Facebook. I think John Lennon said that. Or something. Look up from your phone every now and again and make eye contact with a babe in your lecture.
mad in your own little bubble, asshats. Or get a column in a magazine, shut up, and let me enjoy my bloody superheroes in peace.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
MODERN DAY MIXTAPE V3
HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D BAY LEAF CRÈME BRÛLÉE
LYAM BUCHANAN
VITAMIN D
Everyone enjoys some form of Hip Hop. From old school artists such as Biggie
If you’re a fuckin’ idiot then this cake is for you because the hardest thing
and A Tribe Called Quest to today's Kendrick and Future, everyone loves the
about it is grating carrots. You remember carrots, right? Your mum used to
beats and flow which come out of this genre. This week's Modern Day Mixtape
throw them at you in the supermarket, distracting the staff while she slipped
features some of the bigger names of the smaller scene, artists who definitely
a corn cob down the front and another down the back of her pants to use for
know how to work a crowd and sound amazing live, but are quite content with
her cam show later.
staying on the d-low.
The carrot cake probably came from the medieval era when people were
Live music is all about the energy. If you caught Vince Staples at Laneway I
putting sugar and fruit with pretty much everything from haunches of beef to
can guarantee that you were acting as if you grew up in the gutters of South
the vegetable patch. Skip to the Second War and Britons are putting anything
Auckland and were chanting that you "ain’t never ran from nothing but the
sweeter than sand in their cakes, hence its 20th century popularity. Carrots are
police". As someone who was right amongst this I can guarantee that you’ve
cheap and easy (like your sister) and since the 1980s have been considered a
also ran from a lot of things; your parents, large insects and angry geese to
fruit (just like your uncle) by the European Union Jam Directive.
name a few. Vince Staples is one of the major artists to feature in this playlist. His album Summertime ‘06 was massive, It set a standard that other albums of the time couldn’t compete with and set his name in lights. Norf Norf and
You’ll need about an hour for this one. Preheat the oven to 175°C and grease and line a 10 inch tin.
Senorita are two high energy pieces in this playlist which get crowds pumping;
Prepare the following: 3 fat carrots to grate to make 3 C of carrot; 1 ½ lightly
throwing these tracks on during pre drinks is a sure way to have bottles
packed cups of brown sugar for that sweet malty taste; 2-3 free range eggs;
breaking and funnels dropping. There is something about the ‘American
½ C rice bran or vegetable oil; 1t of that nice vanilla; a small can of crushed
Ghetto’ lifestyle which really gets people going.
pineapple, drained, which should come to about ½ C; 1 ½ C flour; ¾ t baking
Aucklanders are commonly generalised as wankers, a bunch of cocky little city kids who try too hard to be indie — they jump from trend to trend using their parents' credit cards and their mum's SUV. But how could you hate them? These are the people who make Auckland concerts unique. Without the beauty of Auckland gigs you wouldn’t have this glorious playlist to spice up your life.
soda; 2 t ground cinnamon and 2 t ginger. Bung it all in a bowl and mix it up. If you really want you can add ½ cup raisins and/or chopped walnuts to the mix. Slop into the tin and bake it for 45-50 mins, testing with a skewer to see if it’s done in the centre (skewer comes out clean). Let it cool in the tin for 10 minutes then transfer it to a rack to cool.
One of my favorite artists in this playlist, who also had a killer set at Laneway,
Meanwhile you’re going to make cream cheese icing. Beat 125 g cream cheese
is Goldlink. Nobody can beat the energy he brings to the stage; a crowd
for about 5 minutes, then squeeze in half a lemon and a slosh of milk or cream.
who has never heard of him before can be a cult following after just one set.
Keep the beaters running and add enough icing sugar to get a spreadable
Goldlinks’ music has a very strong story telling aspect to it, think of an upbeat
consistency. Then you’re going to keep beating like Chris Brown beats
J.Cole without the ‘rap hierarchy’ mindset and faster flow. 'Dance on me' and
women*. That’s the secret to perfect icing: spousal abuse whipping air into
'Spectrum' are two tracks which really stand out; the combination of simple
your icing for that teeth-plunging fluff.
progression and accents on the off beats gives these pieces movement which catches and holds the attention of listeners. I won't deny that I’m also one of these Auckland wankers. The only thing that beats rolling around in your mum's SUV is checking out nexusmagazine on spotify and giving V3 a listen.
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When the cake has cooked you can smother the top with icing and add chopped candied ginger or passionfruit seeds or whatever I don’t care. *Editor's note: Yeah — without remorse, because Brown is a total fuck-knuckle. Don't be like Chris Brown. Instead, check out the Thursdays in Black campaign co-ordinated through NZUSA and Tertiary Women New Zealand.
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Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE
PAK ’N SAVE HEAD CHEF CHORIZO TOMATO PASTA INGREDIENTS Dash of olive oil 400g Penne pasta 1 tsp garlic 1 Red onion, wedges 200g Chorizo Sausages (pre-cooked), sliced 2 courgettes, sliced ½ Red capsicum, sliced 12 or so mushrooms, sliced 1 c Italian tomatoes 1 tbsp Tomato paste 1 tsp soy sauce 1 tsp worcestor sauce Salt and black pepper ½ tsp Sugar Chopped parlsey to garnish Grated parmesan cheese to garnish Serves 4 METHOD 1. Pour the oil into a large pan (a wok works well). Sauté the onion wedges on a low-medium heat until almost translucent. Add garlic. 2. Add the capsicum and courgette. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionaly. Add the mushrooms. 3. While the vegetables are cooking, place the pasta in salted boiling water. Simmer on a medium heat for about 10 minutes. 4. Add the chorizo sausage to the vegetables. Cook on a mediumhigh heat, stirring, until vegetables and chorizo are heated through and slightly browned. 5. Stir in the italian tomatos, tomato paste, soy sauce, worchester sauce and sugar. Simmer for 5 minutes, stirring regularly. 6. Drain the pasta once cooked and add to the wok. Cook on a high heat for 2 minutes whilst stirring. 7. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. 8. Garnish with chopped parsley, grated parmesan cheese and black pepper. Serve and enjoy.
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Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.
WIN
NER
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He's a law and management student, which already sends us into a boredom slumber, but he has a cock and that's what she was looking for (seriously, if more dick-havers could email in, it'd be great). She studies enviro planning and applied for Blind Date in rhyming couplets — how kooky. As a teen she crushed on Oscar Winner Leonardo DiCaprio, and he crushed on Jessica Biel. She has "freaky flexible arms" and he was available on a Tuesday evening. Did she manage to pull anything more than stilted small talk or (probably) right wing attitudes from him?
HE SAID
SHE SAID
I was signed up for the date by my flattie, because a) I've been out of
A rhyming application got me the date, so I guess a rhyming write up
the game too long, and b) the boys tell me I have atrocious chat and
is my fate.
need all the practice I can get.
I showed up early to catch that worm, he came on time and his
Upon arriving at The Bank I was shitting myself ahead of the Nexus
handshake was firm.
Blind Date. Thankfully, I struck it lucky and enjoyed a pretty good
Conversation flowed because he’s a talkative bloke. I drank a feijoa
evening with a lovely lass, mellow atmosphere and great food and
fantasy and he had rum and coke.
drink. As it turns out my date and I had actually met briefly on Saturday night and from the get-go the chat seemed to flow fairly well, avoiding any of those dreaded pauses in conversation. Some crucial advice for prospective daters includes getting a few pre drinks in, mix and matching your meals and remembering it's only
Turns out we went to the same party on Saturday night, his friends had made fun of me cos my hometown is shite. It wasn’t long until our mains arrived; it was good because my stomach was deprived.
awkward if you make it so.
In his loo dash I text the gang, just to let them know 10/10, would bang.
All in all, the blind date experience is a good time and a massive thanks
We even tried to argue to spice this section up, but sorry readers no
must go to Nexus and The Bank for the free meal and drinks. If you are
fight for you you’re shit outta luck.
keen on a date, or you obliterated your weekly food budget on Saturday
Not long later, we parted ways. He went to Shenanigans, I went home
night get amongst the Nexus blind date. It doesn't disappoint.
to laze.
NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles
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TRIVIAL What is the world's most common first name? What do eskimos use to keep food from freezing? If you live in Siena, Italy and your name is Mary it is a crime to have which (otherwise legal) job?
Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE
CROSSWORD Solve the clues and fill in the words. ACROSS
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4. Nickname for the 'gram' (5) 2 5
3
4
5. BYOD: Bring Your Own D (6) 9. Squeak, squeak (5)
6
11. 1's and 0's (6,4) 7
8
12. Yellow ghost logo (8)
9
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13. Thinking machine (8) 14. Post files to the internet (6) 15. WiFi (8,8)
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18. Hyper Text Markup _______ (8) 12
19. First, let me take a ______ (6) 20. Samsung operating system (7)
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21. Modular object-oriented dynamic learning environment (6)
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22. The Social Network (8) 15
DOWN
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1. ____ Jobs (5) 2. That thing you type with (8) 17 18
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3. Desktop (2) 6. The guys who tell you to turn it off and turn it on again (2) 7. Antonym of 'authentic fantasy' (7,7) 8. Retrieve files from the internet (8)
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10. Bill _____ (5) 13. Chromium (6) 15. Encyclopaedia (9)
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16. Early 2000's, citrus logo (8) 17. 'Front page of the internet' for Fedoras (6)
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HOROSCOPES CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19)
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22)
Take a risk. If you can’t talk to strangers how can you ever make
This Easter think about Jesus.. The rest of this horoscope was censored
new friends, or buy drugs?
by Nexus who are sick of answering angry Christian letters every Easter.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)
LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22)
Challenge yourself to love, and if you can’t do it then eat KFC. The
As the passage of time moves on, you evolve, you grow, you change and
food for people who have given up on finding that special someone.
none of that is a good enough reason to start liking Justin Bieber again.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)
VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22)
Jane, I know you read horoscopes every week so we thought this was
Regret is natural, particularly if two weeks ago you said “I wonder if our couch
the best place. You need to use breath spray. Signed, your study group.
would catch fire”. Often when we have no place to sit we regret our choices.
ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19)
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22)
You will find love this week, with a gorgeous Sri Lankan vocalist
Venus aligns with Jupiter to make Pluto feel inadequate about his own
who has an interest in student leadership.
planet size and masturbate to moons on Tinder.
TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20)
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21)
This week you will pay for parking. Again. Thanks VC!
Staring into the abyss makes you feel empty and desolate but it could be worse. You could be at Massey, doing a six year degree in milking cows.
GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)
SAGITTATRIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21)
Feelings of loneliness and isolation are natural in University,
Chance contact leads to love, but the next day you realise it wasn’t love just
particularly if you attended the Orientation evenings.
a one night stand. It’s weird how often you realise that the next morning.
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ORDERING SITE
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