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Editorial FOMO Easy News News WSU Election Results Entertainment Reviews Yam & Troy the Science Boys Editorial Team 2018 Centrefold Feature: Autonomous and Electric Cars Are Not the Future How to Fix Everything The Crowd Goes Mild Pass the Aux: A Year in Review Nexus Predicts Your Career Waikat’ Flats Page 34 Horoscopes Page 36 Double Blind Date Page 38 Best of Snapped Page 40 Puzzles
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Issue 24, 8th – 12th October 2018 Editor: Lyam Buchanan editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design: Vincent Owen design@nexusmag.co.nz Managing Editor: James Raffan james@wsu.org.nz Sub-Editor: Jennie-Louise Kendrick jen@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor: Grace Mitchell grace@nexusmag.co.nz News Editor: Alexander Nebesky alex@nexusmag.co.nz Reviews Editor: Archie Porter reviews@nexusmag.co.nz
Contributors: Scott Carroll, Conor Maxwell, Troy Anderson, Cameron McRobie, Jared Ipsen, Jamie Foley, Antonia Carter, Kim Sare, Nathan McLeay, Ben Bartels, Joshua Hart-Vrijkotte, Yeye Weller, Max Gernhoefer, Daniel Martin, Kid Kura, Daniela Gilbon, Kent Andreasen and the rather rowdy tenants of 889/3216. Centrefold: Yime Instagram: @yimeisgreat Online: yimeisgreat.com Horoscope Illustrations: Josh Nelson Instagram: @joshprobably Twitter: @joshDrawbably Podcast Editor: Caleb Bird Instagram: @biobirdnz
That’s a Wrap At the end of 2016, Nexus announced that it was ‘stepping away from the standard’. At the time, we had no fucking clue what entailed—or how out of our depth we were—but regardless, we threw ourselves at it. Over the past two years, we’ve attempted a lot; we tried to buy ‘Salient’, the student magazine of Victoria University of Wellington, we tried to shut down law schools across the country to establish our own ‘National Academy of Law’, and we attempted to expose the rodent-adjacent secrets of FSEN. While we may not have achieved too much in those respects, there’s no denying the moderate step we’ve taken from the infamous ‘standard’. We’ve rarked up precious members of political youth wings, raised the blood pressure of more than a fair few mature students, and come a little too close for comfort with some playful defamation – but that’s all a given. What’s really set these last two years apart has been the development of the platform as a whole. Over the summer of 2017, we developed nexusmag.co.nz; throughout the year, we’ve established a network of podcasts, we’ve plastered a small shitload of stickers across campus, and we’ve even had our fair share of stories poached by the mainstream media. But all of this is just the beginning. We’re still right in the midst of that awkward pubescent phase where we’re still figuring it all out. I think it’s fair to say that I’ve sold my soul to Nexus over the past few years, and despite how many times I’ve been asked if I’m ‘gutted to let it go?’, there’s no doubting I’ve done my time. Nexus has been what I’ve defined myself with for the past three years, and it’s the reason I’ve more or less given up on my degree, but I’m confident that when I eventually think back to university, I’ll still be just as fond of this experience as I am now. This has been without a doubt the best job I’ve ever had, and probably will ever have – but it’s time for someone else to define the student voice. To my contributors, the editorial staff, our advertisers, the WSU, our readers, and everyone who’s supported us over the past three years, I can’t thank you enough. It’s been an amazing experience and couldn’t have been done without you. Cheers to these 24 issues, and cheers to 2019’s team for 24 more.
– Lyam
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Release Some Stress at UniRec
Head down to UniRec to get your daily exercise and release some stress. Drop in for a game of volleyball on Wednesday at 1 pm, and badminton or table tennis on Thursday at 1 pm. UniRec also has a walking/running group, which leaves every Wednesday at 5.30 pm. These events are all free for students – you don’t need a membership.
You’re Not Alone
A reminder to all students that we have trained counsellors to help you through any problems you’re facing, such as loneliness, stress, anxiety, depression, relationships and sexuality. If you’re enrolled at Student Health, you are also entitled to four free appointments with our partner clinical psychologists. For more information, contact Student Health at medcent@waikato.ac.nz.
Get Ahead with Summer School
Want to fast-track your degree, catch up, or try something new? Summer school is a great opportunity to put yourself ahead. Plus, when you study over summer, you can keep getting Studylink assistance. For more info and to find the right paper for you, visit: waikato.ac.nz/study/summer
Free Japanese Film Showing
Your Name (2016, 112 min, PG) is a popular animation directed by Makoto Shinkai, about two total strangers who become connected in a bizarre way (with English subtitles). October 11, 7 pm in L.G.03, Hamilton.
WMS Enrolment Workshops
The Management School is holding workshops to help WMS students choose their papers for next year. The workshops will be held in MSB.0.26 and MSC staff will be present to help you step through the new enrolment process and answer any questions you may have about your papers. Spaces are limited and sign up is at the MSC front counter. Session times are: • October 9: 12 – 1 pm or 1 pm – 2 pm • October 10: 11 am – 12 pm • October 11: 10 am – 11 am or 11 am – 12 pm
Planning to Graduate This Year?
Your invitation to graduate should now be waiting for you in MyWaikato. To proceed, log into MyWaikato, go to your Graduation tab and select ‘Apply to Graduate’. Then you can choose your ceremony time and venue, opt to graduate in absentia or defer to a later date. If you’re completing your qualification this semester but can’t see the ‘Apply to graduate’ option, please let us know right away by emailing grad.coordinator@waikato.ac.nz.
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YEARLY RECAP:
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Following vicious egging of Senior Deputy ViceChancellor Alister Jones at the beginning of the year, Nexus launched an investigation to identify the culprit. Sadly, the perpetrator was never caught. Despite anonymous sources suggesting ‘Stacy from Kahurangi’ was the egg-laden criminal, evidence was not sufficient to take legal action. A range of campus developments have been announced, including The Pā project. At an estimated $80,000,000, The Pā represents a significant reorganisation of the Hamilton campus; doubling as a great excuse to finally demolish the old law school buildings. Nexus questioned what the University was doing to improve their campuses for queer people, along with what they’re doing to make their own workplaces more positive and inclusive for the LGBTTQIA+ community. Our investigation concluded that there is, in fact, very little being done, with most interviewees recounting experiences of isolation, a lack of support, and a very uninviting culture.
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A proposal to convert faculties to academic divisions quickly became subject to discontent across the University. This resulted in a peaceful protest by the Faculty of Māori and Indigenous studies, and a series of student consultations with representatives of each faculty. The University suffered a mild aneurysm following the exposure of their “Big Ol’ Rat Lab” back at the end of Semester A. Despite attempting to disprove the existence of their “Big Ol’ Rat Lab”, anonymous sources recently leaked a rather interesting document that showed five planned reviews to ‘Standard Operating Procedures’ involving rat-related research on campus. At the end of July, we called out lecturers for their inability to utilise Panopto and other digital education tools. As a result, we received a fair few heated responses from the mature student community who also struggle to utilise technology. We followed this up with a piece about a lecturer who banned students from using digital devices in lectures – this was then taken by the mainstream media.
NEWS
From the Archive 48,000
copies of Nexus have been printed and distributed throughout the year.
782,919.34
Snapchats were received complaining about mistakes in the puzzles section—especially sudoku— throughout the duration of the year.
~1,300
niche and/or math-related ASMR videos were consumed by our designer in the midst of production weeks.
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artists contributed to Nexus throughout the year; including international creatives from cities such as Hamburg, Perth, Dubai, Paris, Toronto, Barcelona, and Boulder, Colorado.
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deadlines were met thanks to a big ol’ hissyfit pulled by our gracious iMac for Issue 11.
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of the blind dates this year allegedly resulted in some rather R18 ‘underthe-covers’ action.
Nexus Magazine – 2016 5
NEWS
Hitlist: Everything We’d Cover If We Had More Time APPLE STICKERS: After suffering through all the nauseating hullabaloo regarding straws this year, it’s time for the zeitgeist to draw its attention to a much less purposeful, much more infuriating piece of plastic. Remind us, why do we put stickers on our fruit again? Think of the mile-high, pipinghot stacks of vinyl being churned out every day to clad fruit whose brands could easily be identified by… we don’t know, a box? A sign? Word of mouth? If you’re comfortable with many disabled people losing access to a tool that they rely on to drink then ban straws. But who actually needs an apple sticker in their life? You can find out more in our YouTube video, ‘ASMR: Quitely Removing Apple Stickers and Letting Out Grumpy Sighs’. TIKI TAANE: I’m not really that
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into Tiki Taane. Welcome to the hitlist, brother. UNIVERSITY OF OTAGO: Destroying magazines; stealing bongs. Be glad you go to Waikato, where university authorities don’t give a shit about you, instead of this Orwellian nightmare. THE FLAG OF HAMILTON CITY:
An utter joke. Earlier in the year, we wrote to Andrew King in an effort to start the ball rolling on a public consultation process to change it. We failed, on account of bureaucratic inflexibility and probably because nobody gives a shit. But, if you do have a chance to view the hideous and uninspiring Hamilton flag, which we aren’t even sure is official, take a few minutes out of your day to send a drawing of a potential alternative to us. We always enjoy that stuff. STAR WARS: Imagine the Star Wars franchise is an airline.
Imagine each film is a plane; would you buy a ticket from an airline that has had six crashes out of ten flights? No? Then why do you keep expecting the Star Wars franchise to offer up something good when there has only ever been four good films. Everything else is shit. Literally all the other Star Wars films are dumb, pointless, cynical cash grabs. JESSE MULLIGAN: Still hasn’t responded to our demand for satisfaction. The word “coward” springs to mind. MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE:
There’s already like a million of these fucking movies out and while pretty much all of them are, you know, “pretty good”, do we really need a million more? If you take the budget of Infinity Wars, like 400 million USD and just stop for a minute and think. That’s four $100 million movies or 40 $10 million
NEWS
films. It’s a lot of opportunities to tell a lot of stories, but no, apparently we need the same plotlines, same beats, same ten actors, same themes, and same big CGI effects over and over and over. Remember when people used to leave the cinema and say ‘wow, the special effects for incredible!’? Not any more. CRITIC TE AROHI: Remember the magazine destroying shit Critic got in the news for this year? The boring stunt of a lame ass cover intended to piss people off. Instead of highlighting a relevant social issue, they decided to exploit it for cheap publicity and false outrage. Nobody wants to be depicted as a pixelated lump of flesh on a bathroom floor, so don’t try and hide grotesque cover art with a paper-thin claim of representation. SIMON BRIDGES: It would be easy to point to Simon Bridges
and say that he had an appalling record as a minister. You could cite the Anedaco interview with John Campbell where he was destroyed or the one with Lisa Owen where he couldn’t accurately tell you why roading projects were needed. He achieved the almost unthinkable in his years as a minister; making (friend of Nexus) David Bennett seem like a dedicated and professional associate minister by comparison. So it was obvious that the National Party only had one course of action available to them and that was to promote him. In a culture filled with unbearably disliked people, Bridges’ particular brand of sociopathy has made him a pariah even to solid National voters. In essence, National, without any good reason, took the off-brand knock-off version of John Key and said he’s around Jacinda’s age so this should
create the same impact. It didn’t. Instead, what we are left with was the first Māori leader of a major party who doesn’t believe in te reo in schools and still champions a party who has an active policy of removing the Māori seats. You know you’re in real trouble when the cardboard cut out in the leader’s chair is a footnote for history and you are actively considering replacing him with Judith fuckin’ Collins. We may be being a little unfair to Bridges here; he was a perfectly serviceable prosecutor and the archetype for every disenfranchised middle child of the future. He may even be extremely competent and espousing his genuinely held views about trickle-down economics or taxes and roads. The thing he isn’t though is charismatic, and in the Jacinda era, that is enough to make you forgettable. 7
NEWS
Faceless Data LYAM BUCHANAN In Issue 22, Nexus published ‘Drop Out Season’ featuring illustrated graphs of dropout rates based on 2017 provisional figures. The results showed a jarring disconnect between Te Pua Wananga Ki Te Ao – Faculty of Maori and Indigenous Studies, and every other faculty; one we wanted to dig a little deeper on. It’s worth pointing out no one has complained or suggested we were portraying these stats in an unfair light. It just didn’t sit right with us that the average dropout rate would be almost double of the next worst. We had some theories, of course; the notion of first in families, socialisation, the poverty gap, and expectations of University life. But, just because we theorise about something, does it make it more acceptable? Even if all of these were factors in the dropout rate, shouldn’t we be doing something about it or getting mad? At the very least, we should seek some sort of reassurance that this is something people are trying to understand. Given its Issue 24 and we were empowered by the notion that whatever we fuck with we don’t have to fix next week, we decided to just approach Deputy 8
Vice-Chancellor Maori Dr SarahJane Tiakiwai and Dean of Te Pua Wananga Ki Te Ao – Faculty of Maori and Indigenous Studies Professor Brendan Hokowhitu and just flatout ask them what was going on. Professor Hokowhitu said, ‘The FMIS data relating to ‘drop outs’ is significantly skewed due to one of our language immersion courses, which sits outside of a degree programme. ‘Many of our students choose to do this to become more fluent in their reo without taking part in any other study, and so when they complete this course, are classified as part of the ‘drop out’ statistics which is not correct. ‘...If we take these students into account the percentage of FMIS students who ‘drop out’ is more in the region of 17-20 percent...’ Dr Sarah-Jane said, ‘The challenge that we do have at the university is what the data presents which in a way is faceless, and then when you try to put a face to all of the data, that’s where you get all of the complexities. ‘There’s FMIS, but it’s relative across xall the other faculties as well. ‘We have a Māori equity fund, which I do oversee, and some of the initiatives we had there,
we work really closely with our Māori student groups and provide funding support and enhance the participation of our Māori students while they’re here. ‘The University, as a whole, has a responsibility to provide support services for all of our students, of which 24 percent of our student population are Māori, and then the equity fund is over and above that, so it’s an additional pool of funding which helps enhance. ‘For me, it’s about ‘what else can we do to help lift that?’ Through our Māori mentoring services, working directly with the students, our leadership programme for our Māori students... ‘It kind of speaks to the diverse experiences of our students across the campus, and making sure we’re not just trying to do a ‘one size fits all’. ‘Data is data, and what we’re trying to do is provide a diverse range of opportunities and experiences which speaks to the diversity of our student population—and that’s challenging. ‘We don’t have a distinct ‘this is a big issue’ for us. There are some anomalies across all of our programmes so we just try and work to the specifics.’
NEWS
Tracked for Success LYAM BUCHANAN A proposed “success coordinator” will use student data and patterns to identify and intervene with students who are at risk of dropping out. A new coordinated approach would utilise data gathered by key university systems—such as Moodle, the Library, and WiFi—to identify disengaged students and proactively provide help; instead of relying on students to actively seek support. Our initial reaction was that it sounded a little too 1984, so we caught up with Director of Student Services Mike Calvert to gain some more insight. NEXUS: What does this role entail and how will it benefit the student body? MC: The concept of a success coordinator is not a new one; there are already a number of staff and students around the University that have similar responsibilities. This particular role is slightly different because the postholder will act on a new data set that we are developing which uses unstructured data to assess a student’s level of engagement. In the first instance, this will be information about the number of times a person has accessed one of three key systems: Moodle, Library, and WiFi.
Disengaged students will be deemed those that have not accessed these systems at all in a given week or have perhaps done so infrequently. Up to now, success coordinators and other staff providing support have relied on students actively seeking support or referrals from other staff. The hope is that, with this new data, we can proactively reach out to students and, should they be willing to accept the support, direct them to the most appropriate person or resource. We hope to learn more about what makes some students engage in their studies and what makes them disengage so that we can tailor our services to meet the needs of our students more effectively. NEXUS: How is the data required for this role collected? How is it utilised? MC: The data is the unstructured data that forms the log files for those core systems. It has already been collected. We’ll just be bringing the data together to form an assessment of engagement on a week by week basis. It’s likely that the success coordinator will work their way through a list of the least engaged students each week and contact them to see if they need some support. The service will be
confidential and there would be no obligations for students to share any information or to access the support services, but it might just make the difference for a student who is on the verge of throwing in the towel. NEXUS: Are there any concerns regarding privacy as a result of this data being collected? MC: There’s still some work for us to do on this and some legal advice that we’ll need to seek. We don’t think there’s an issue but we’re cognisant that the data we are proposing to use was not collected for the purpose to which we’ll be putting it. We’ll put privacy first and, of course, students will have the option to let us know that they don’t want to be contacted or offered support through this initiative. NEXUS: What impact is this role expected to have? MC: There are three things we want to achieve; a better understanding of why students disengage with their studies, the opportunity to increase awareness of support services proactively and to facilitate access to that support, and gain a better understanding of what support services are most effective for students. 9
NEWS
PRESIDENT
VICE-PRESIDENT
VP MĀORI
Nathan Rahui
Tomairangi McRae
Kyla CampbellKamariera
DIRECTORS
Nelson Cooper
Zaira Najam
Mikayla Apiti
Kemi Hughes
Taylor Hamlin
Spencer Lowe
Donnella Ngohe
Eulah de Witt
Total votes: 1086. Presidential Vote Counts – Todd Harper: 278, Danielle Marks: 221. Vice-Presidential Vote Counts – Spencer Lowe: 279, Shiv Gounder: 120. Director Vote Counts: Kylee Nobilo: 252, Ruby Stevens: 247, Rebekah Manning: 204, Shiv Gounder: 183, Maxwell Rodley: 170, Tamahau Brown: 166
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NEW PODCAST ON SOUNDCLOUD.COM/NEXUSMAG
Crush of the Week: Tim Whoops is that uuuh Tim?? Yo, fuck… heha haha didn’t know this was on haha fuucc WHATS POPPING UUUUHHHNNNN hehhe. Woooaaahh ITS LIT IN HERE huh FUCCK it’s hot as fuck in here take the hoodie off nah, keep it on, it’s cute as Fuuuhhcc no man for real shout out, ..shout out paulers hahHAAA doing a shout out for all, if you’re following it OOOHHH fucck can’t wait to meet up peace uh Uuhhn
Clickbait Moodboard:
What’s Hot: •
Being able to count on your hands the number of lectures left in your degree
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The cutie in your class commenting on how good your presentation is
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Winnie the Pooh being referred to as an “action” movie
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uuuuuh, them Google emojis
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Only getting sensual with your significant other with your shirt on
Theme: What Lyam, Vincent, Jen, and Alex will be doing after Nexus.
What’s Not:
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Trying to fake tan your own back
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Waking up with pink eye
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Realising how close exams are and how fucking close you are to adding yet another semester onto your soulsucking degree
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No more Nexus ‘18
Sociopath Begins Prepping Their 2019 Resolutions
‘I really think ‘19 will be my year I’m just getting some real good vibes about it ’ – Sarah, 20, Sagittarius. ‘As a fire sign, I definitely have a tendency to burn out I just care too much and put too much into what I love My resolution will definitely be to put myself forward, for once ’
‘What Have I Actually Achieved?’
After spending the last 33 weekends ‘absolutely hissing’, generic males throughout Hamilton East have found themselves questioning not only their self-worth but whether or not they’re making the most of their youth. ‘Ooosh did you see Diesels come in an 18 now??’
Existentialism Takes Hold as ‘Real World’ Becomes Reality
As their tertiary journey comes to an end, both third and fourth years have become mildly incapacitated by the impending shift into the ‘Real World’. Soonto-be-graduates are reportedly experiencing heavy fluctuations in their emotional well-being – ranging from excitement, satisfaction, and wanderlust; right through to despair, helplessness, and an overwhelming combination of dread and regret. We managed to track down a range of these emotionally unstable young adults to gain a better understanding of the trials and tribulations they’re currently experiencing. JASON, 22, BMS
‘Yeah, I’m excited to not be so broke all the time ay! Ahaha yeah, I’ll probably just end up back at my parents’ place in Tauranga for a bit until I find a job I can really get stuck into, ay. Definitely gotta make the most of this last summer of freedom, tbh!’ AVA, 21, BE(HONS)
Mental Health Services Overrun as Nexus Publishes yet Another Impossible Sudoku
‘All I enjoy in life is the arduous task of completing the ‘Medium Sudoku’ – why would they take this away from me?’ – Lola, 24, self-confessed numeracy enthusiast. ‘I should definitely send them a passive aggressive message about this!’
‘There’s definitely part of me that thinks I’ve completely wasted my time; I’m constantly tossing up whether or not I actually like what I’m doing or if I’m just doing it because I feel as if I have to. As long as I graduate this year, I couldn’t care less.’ KIM, 23, LLB
‘I haven’t fully come to terms with the fact that I’m about to lose contact with 90% of my friends. I really wish I’d taken better advantage of the social opportunities I’ve been surrounded with rather than telling people I was busy studying so I could be alone.’ KEVIN, 21, BHSHP
‘Yo fuck, I’m keen to be a PE teacher, ay!’ 13
Reviews
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The Book of the New Sun
Counter Productive
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THE BOOK OF THE NEW SUN – GENE WOLFE REVIEW: SCOTT CARROLL
COUNTER PRODUCTIVE – BIOBIRD REVIEW: ARCHIE PORTER
Gene Wolfe is an interesting breed of author when it comes to genre-fiction; he can move easily between the realms of pulp and high literature at a whim. Yet for the reader, understanding the intricacies of Wolfe’s writing can usually require a couple of rereads at the absolute minimum. This is why I adore The Book of the New Sun. It is a work of so many layers, intricacies, subplots, and branching paths of understanding. On the surface, it is a masterful execution of a hero’s journey across strange but entrancing worlds that blend far-futurism with the fantastical and mythological. Underneath, we delve into a prism of intrigue and distrust with the narrator, and how the things he left out explore further subplots of a world that revels in the past, present and future. Everything within the book is utilized to its fullest potential; every name, every person, every plot, scene, quote and action was created with the utmost awareness in mind. Nothing is without purpose. The prose is concise and poignant, yet seductive. It intends to lead you astray; monologues, interactions and even simple descriptions burst out into labyrinths of their own. By the end of the story, you catch a glimpse of what happened, but believe me when I say you barely scratched the surface. I can understand if none of my novel picks have looked that tempting, but, if ever there were a time to heed my recommendations, this review would be that time. Read The Book of the New Sun. You will not regret it. 14
Biobird’s latest EP, Counter Productive, is a dark, thunderous and frequently explosive collection of tracks – nestling itself into the realm of grungy drum and bass, and experimental dubstep. Released by Section 8 Records and consisting of four songs, ‘Counter Productive’, ‘Soul Drift’, ‘Lost’, and ‘Limbo’, the EP ebbs and flows in terms of its intensity, but remains ominous and cinematic throughout its runtime. The opening titular track, ‘Counter Productive’, begins the EP in an eerie and foreboding fashion – sounding almost like some kind of jazzy, demented clown music, before warping and exploding into a ferociously loud slice of D’n’B. The following track, ‘Soul Drift’, kicks off with a stuttering, distant drum pattern and whirring distortion, that soon erupts into another chaotic fusion of sound. The third song, entitled ‘Lost’, follows a somewhat similar progression to the preceding track, though it’s rife with intricate drum fills and audio cues to keep things fresh. The closer, ‘Limbo’, is perhaps the most intense and dark song on the EP, both sonically and in terms of its tone. Featuring deafeningly loud bass and twisted vocals, the track stands apart from the rest with its menacing atmosphere and inventive production – though, these elements are highly prominent throughout all the tracks. Counter Productive is an inventive and rewarding EP, brimming with intensity and oozing with replayvalue. Though it’s difficult to define sonically, listening to it makes you feel like Spider-Man web-slinging through New York, jacked up on Monster Energy Zero Ultra™.
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Single SOUTHGATE – MOUNT KIMBIE Similar to their earlier electronic work and lowkey slaps.
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Okay, so we all know this game is fantastic. I’m gonna give this shit at least a four at the end of this review – don’t get me wrong. What I want to talk about, however, is whether or not this breakthrough in superhero gaming is better than its obvious primary influence, the Batman: Arkham series (2009-15). Spoiler: it ain’t. Where Spider-Man most succeeds is in the webswinging, the aerial combat, and the quips he makes while supergluing thugs to walls. Basically, SpiderMan is really good at making the player feel like Spider-Man. So why does it also try to turn him into Batman? Stealth mechanics feature heavily, and in a game where you primarily swing around in broad daylight in a bright red suit, they seem out of place. Plus, enemies during the sections have no peripheral vision and no awareness that their friends are being taken out one by one. And if you do mess up during a stealth mission, there are almost zero consequences as, unlike Batman, Spider-Man has super strength, and can more than handle himself in a gunfight. I wish I could have played Spider-Man without comparing it to the likes of the incredible Batman: Arkham City (2011), but the gameplay similarities are so similar in places—even when it doesn’t make sense for the character—that comparisons are unavoidable. Spider-Man’s popularity will guarantee it a sequel, and I would love to see the titular character put away his stealth suit and dead parents, and focus on being the wisecracker we know and love.
TV SICK OF IT – KARL PILKINGTON & RICHARD YEE It’s alrite, innit.
Album KONOYO – TIM HECKER Not as dense as the rest, but the dialogue is inquisitive, manipulating, and hella dissociative.
Album DEVOTION – TIRZAH “A compelling vision of how imperfect pop music can be – joyful, yet asymmetrical and out of step.” 15
The Curious Case of Getting Fucked by Space TROY ANDERSON Well, children, exams are almost upon you—not ‘us’; we’re not the same—and this is our last one ever. But worry not, if things go badly, it might all have been a big waste of time anyway. That’s right, the human race could be entirely wiped out in mid to early October. But hey, if that doesn’t happen, we’ll just have to wait until next year when it’s a possibility all over again. During October, the Earth annually passes through the Taurid meteor stream. This is debris from the comet Encke and the asteroid 2004 TG10 that are blatting around our solar system pretty regular. It takes several weeks to pass through this stream and casting your eyes upward may get you a look at a shooting star. The meteor stream isn’t particularly spectacular in the night sky and impacts from it are usually rare and incredibly small. However, it has come to light that there are some more sinister, larger objects lurking in this meteor stream. This is where things become a bit more concerning. Some of the objects in this stream are hundreds of metres wide. This doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it is a super fucking big deal. The most recent impact in modern times of a big boy space rock was in Tunguska in 1908. The meteor was 150 metres in diameter and resulted in 80 million flattened trees in 2,000 square kilometres. The object exploded upon entering the atmosphere with energy a third the size of the Tsar bomb; the largest ever tested atomic 16
weapon in human history. Even more concerning than this, is that there is now good evidence to suggest that the Tunguska meteor came directly from the Taurid meteor stream. Imagine if that shit went down over old Hamilton, or you know, Dunedin, I guess. A well-placed object this size could kill up to tens of millions of people. But, as we know, the universe is a cruel mistress, so there’s no reason we couldn’t be hit by an asteroid that is like, fucking way more massive than that, kilometres in diameter. And that’d be it, man. We’d pretty much be checking out as a species along with everything else. Those deep-sea plankton brothers would probably be fine though. Taurid debris isn’t even the only threat out there. There are also two other asteroid clusters orbiting the sun called Aten and Apollo. There are plenty of big boys in these groups as well, some kilometres in diameter. The various planets and moons in our solar system interact with these objects all the time and it is just by chance that we aren’t hit. Space is a fucking big place so being hit is a very low possibility, but we get near these mother fuckers a bit too often for my liking. So just be aware that we could be wiped out or cast back to the stone age at a moment’s notice because our detection methods aren’t that good. Okay cool, have fun with exams. The Science Boys are out of here, motherfuckers.
Jennie-Louise Kendrick
Alexander Nebesky
SUB-EDITOR
NEWS EDITOR
This issue wraps up two years of me working for Nexus. Writing news is easy, but putting yourself out there and letting others know what makes your heart sing or your blood boil is scary. It feels like you’re gonna get slammed in the comments section. Being the leftie I am, I am proud of the progress I have made with Lonely Tarts Club, promoting sexpositive—hopefully funny—dialogue and tying a bit of research in. As a queer person and someone who wants to use the platform afforded to them to promote inclusivity and the celebration of diversity, being able to explore and publish LGBTTQIA+ content is so invigorating. I’ve had people come up to me at parties, challenging my avoidance of trigger words or even my own personal feminism, and, as difficult and confronting as it may have seemed at the time, that’s one of the awesome things about addressing university students; they want to learn, challenge and understand what they are being told. When I write, it’s not to persuade or try to change someone’s mind; it’s to engage them in a topic that maybe they haven’t thought about or wouldn’t normally read about; to simply open up dialogue. I often forget that people will read what I’ve written after it has gone to print and I’ve spent most of a Thursday correcting grammar and syntax, but being able to contribute to student culture is so rewarding. 2018 has been an amazing year for the magazine and I want to congratulate everyone who contributed because I truly believe that we have smashed out 24 issues of varied, interesting, and entertaining content. One last gripe: it is ‘you’re’ not ‘your’, stop writing the same boring shit about your blind date, and please learn how to use a fucking semicolon.
2018 marks the end of a fruitful and immensely rewarding stint working with Nexus. I started way back in 2015; writing the odd bit and piece, wound my way through a long-distance content contribution from the lonesome crowded South, meddled with the reviews section, and now, finally, make my farewells as news editor. It’s been a long-ass time for you to be reading my words, and I feel particularly privileged to have been humoured these past years—whether anyone reads anything I write or not—it’s awfully fulfilling to know my words have been put to the page so that if one were so inclined, they could. In the news department, I feel we have done an admirable job given our limited resources in bringing stories relevant to students to the fore, as well as some student perspectives on global events. For the future, I hope that Nexus will continue to critique and call out the University on its money-hungry, corporate ways. Never forget that although Waikato University is home to the greatest student magazine in the country (and I mean that sincerely), it is also a university that destroyed a well-loved German department, gutted a music school of national renown, and scattered the arts and humanities to the wayside. Though I will be sorry to see my tenure at Nexus working with incredibly talented and hard-working individuals come to an end, I will not be sorry to see the back of a university that holds such a significant portion of its students in such contempt. To those with whom I have worked on Nexus, I wish all the best, and to the readers who continually emptied the stands and pinned the centrefold on their wall, I extend my gratitude. It’s been real fuckin’ fun.
18
Grace Mitchell
Archie Porter
DEPUTY EDITOR
REVIEWS EDITOR
I have no idea how to introduce myself. This feels like one of those activities where you have to say three things about yourself to the class, and everybody knows those suck. However, FYI, I’ve been fortunate— or unfortunate?—enough to work for Nexus since the start of 2018; the second year of my BSc in biology. When I was younger, I always dreamed of becoming a magazine editor à la 13 going on 30. I think I was originally thinking Vogue, however, an adjustment of my vision board planted me at the feet of the mighty Nexus. Proudly Waikato born and bred, I’m a Capricorn to an absolute tee, have an alphabetic knowledge of chick flicks, am a wealth of foodie knowledge, and will quite possibly be brought to tears if you play ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ by Oasis. Some have described me as the blend of an overachieving nerd with a clueless blonde, and that’s probably fair enough. Anyways, we’ve had a cracker of a year at Nexus. With some super talented creatives behind us, the extension of the Nexus empire into different media outlets, and a broader range of content, the magazine is consistently leaping from strength to strength. When a large chunk of our powerhouse editorial team and contributors leave us at the end of the year, it’s fair to say those of us left over will be feeling like kids lost in the supermarket; looking for mum. My hope is that we can continue to grow a magazine that every person at uni will gain something from; whether that’s achieved by representing a diverse range of people, offering some knee-slapping humour, or providing our dear readership some guidance on the need-to-know info about student life. Watch this space, we’ll see you back here in a few months.
2018: a year of ups and downs, lefts, and rights. All sorts of directions, really. As the year comes to a close, we move one year closer to our inevitable deaths – though some of us, I’m sure, already feel like we’ve reached that point. It never ceases to amaze me at how rapidly each year seems to pass by before my very eyes. I’m not sure if this is due to time actually speeding up, and we just haven’t noticed, or if my general incompetence and lack of energy are dragging me down. I’m leaning further towards the latter. I suppose it’s fair to say that this year I found myself staring into the abyss of crippling debt, as I throw away my final teenage years. I found myself consuming frankly disturbing quantities of pizza and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (to be fair, it is fucking delicious). And lastly, I found myself falling in love with a wonderful person who makes me very happy and proud. As reviews editor, I’ve spent a lot of time watching films and listening to countless albums, singles, and EPs to review each week for Nexus. I’d like to thank the contributors who helped me consistently – particularly Scott Carroll, Conor Maxwell, CJ Lee, and Bradley Gielen. Your contributions and enthusiasm throughout the year never went unappreciated, and it’s been a joy to read your writing each week. Without you, there wouldn’t be any reviews. And I don’t mean that in a metaphorical sense, I mean, there literally wouldn’t be any reviews – which would render this magazine pretty much pointless. I may have stolen the aux, plugged my Instagram (@archie.porter), and sparked debate over the definition of ‘mainstream’, but Nexus has been a brilliant vessel through which I can express myself – and for that, I am extremely grateful. Peace out broskis. 19
NATHAN MCLEAY According to the so-called tech visionaries of Silicon Valley, the future of urban mobility lies with autonomous, electric cars. One day soon, once the tech allows, we’ll no longer have to own or drive personal motor vehicles, fuss about with public transport, or even walk the last kilometre from transit hubs to our final destinations. Instead, we’ll be whisked around in clean and affordable selfdriving taxis, free to relax as our digital chauffeurs deliver us to wherever we need to be. Technological change certainly has a massive influence on transportation, mobility, and urban form, but distinguishing which changes are likely, imminent, and meaningful from those that present merely a smokescreen of evaporating wishes isn’t easy; especially when there seems to be whole armies of tech boosterists out there dedicated to creating highly seductive distractions from more viable futures. Though widely celebrated, the tech industry’s aspirations for the future of transportation 22
fall squarely into the ‘seductive distraction’ category. Put bluntly, Silicon Valley’s ideas about transportation are fanciful at best; at worst, it’s disruptive to the development and adoption of actually feasible transportation and mobility options. The best and brightest in tech are apparently not imaginative or daring enough to stray from the well-driven road of auto-centricity. Silicon Valley’s transportation vision does not move beyond the personal motor vehicle; it simply automates and electrifies it. Far from innovation, this represents the continuation of an automobile-centric, individualoriented mode of thinking about transportation that has been and continues to be hugely destructive to both the natural environment and to human well-being. Since the mid-twentieth century, the private car has been the overwhelmingly dominant means of travel in the West. The costs of this autocentricity are staggering. Productive farmland and natural landscapes are paved over as cities
and roads expand to accommodate ever greater numbers of vehicles. An astonishing amount of time better spent doing almost anything else is lost in traffic. In New Zealand, motorists spend some $15 billion each year on acquiring, insuring, fuelling, and repairing cars that are parked, on average, for 96 per cent of their operational lives. With the aim of easing the traffic congestion endemic to our major urban centres, the government devotes most of the roughly $5 billion it spends annually on transportation infrastructure to new roading projects; only for those new roads to fill almost immediately with new cars as drivers take more and more trips to absorb unused road space. There is also a litany of negative health outcomes associated with automobile dependence; the most obvious being death or injury resulting from a traffic collision. In making the car necessary to get anywhere, urban sprawl has engineered natural movement out of our lives – fuelling obesity and related health issues. Long commutes have been linked with high blood pressure, high blood sugar, high cholesterol, metabolic risks, exhaustion, stress, and poor sleep. The negative mental health consequences of auto-centricity go even further when our car-focused urbanism spreads people and amenities so far apart as to generate social isolation and loneliness. Automating and electrifying the world’s car fleet will not remedy the social, environmental, and health problems associated with auto-centricity and urban sprawl. So long as the personal motor vehicle is preferred over other forms of transit, we will remain locked into our sprawling, congested, expensive, polluting, unhealthy, and alienating cities. Most major cities are already drowning in traffic, and claims that driverless cars will reduce congestion—because their ability to communicate with one another will make them more efficient—are patently absurd. More cars cannot be the solution to the problem of too many cars, and it is easy to envisage ways in which self-driving cars could make congestion worse. For instance, average vehicle occupancy in New Zealand now sits at about 1.1 persons per car, but the introduction of driverless tech could see this drop below one, as the streets become clogged with empty cars sent out on errands or to pick us up. Moreover, despite assertions that driverless tech will eliminate human error and reduce traffic collisions, software or hardware malfunction can still be deadly: in March this year, an experimental
Uber vehicle operating in autonomous mode struck and killed a pedestrian in Tempe, Arizona. Urban planner Jarrett Walker has recently criticised technologists for what he terms ‘elite projection’. Elite projection refers to ‘the belief, among relatively fortunate and influential people, that what those people find convenient or attractive is good for the society as a whole’. Walker considers it ‘perhaps the single most comprehensive barrier to prosperous, just, and liberating cities’. The idea that autonomous electric cars are going to fundamentally transform urban transportation and the shape of our cities is elite projection at its finest. A fleet of driverless, electric vehicles may serve a wealthy few, but it will never be a serious mass transit option for urban dwellers. Perhaps no one figure is more symbolic of the phenomenon of elite projection in transportation than Elon Musk, the much-vaunted chairman and CEO of Tesla Motors. At a Tesla event last year, Musk described public transport as a ‘pain in the ass’, where ‘there’s like [sic] a bunch of random strangers; one of who [sic] might be a serial killer’. Musk promotes individualised transportation as the future because it’s the future he desires. It almost seems like he fears public transit, and on top of this, as the head of a car company, he has an obvious financial interest in protecting automotive dominance. The fantasies of Musk and his fellow tech magnates must remain just that: fantasies. In reality, all the technologies we need to transform our transportation networks already exist but lack the proper implementation. The far-fetched proposals of tech magnates only act as a distraction from these more workable and beneficial options. Cars—driverless, electric, or otherwise—need to be phased out of urban centres, with efficient, low emission mass transit options and safe cycleways introduced as substitutes. At the same time, it is necessary for urban planners to embrace a human scale. As André Gorz has written, the city must be made ‘liveable, and not trafficable’. It must become a place not beholden to the motor car, but shaped first and foremost for ‘all human activities, where people can work, live, relax, learn, communicate, and knock about, and which they manage together as the place of their life in common’. Self-driving electric cars as they’re promoted by technologists are a fantasy, but investment into public transit infrastructure and effective city planning can deliver their promise of clean, quick, and easy mass movement. 23
Everything I Learned From Talking To People Much Cooler Than Me About Why They’re So Cool JARED IPSEN This all started last November with an email to Lyam, asking if I could write a weekly column for a magazine from a university I don’t even go to. And now, after countless late nights, 2.25L bottles of Coke Zero, bible documentaries and episodes of the H3 Podcast, here we are. The last issue of 2018. Fucking finally. My goal with these articles was to figure out why anyone would want to start a band in a farming town at the bottom of the world. It’s not like there’s any record labels that will sign you, music stores you can sell your record in, or venues you can sell out. Unless you’re Kimbra or Devilskin, you’re almost guaranteeing your own failure. We are Sisyphus with syphilis, pushing our giant rock up Grantham Street, being crushed like Midnight Youth’s dreams in the band rotunda a few years back. And there’s something magical in that. It’s the kind of harsh realisation that doesn’t leave any room for pretentiousness or ego. There isn’t anyone in this city that’s going to give a flying fuck if you have 10,000 followers or views or plays or people in the crowd. We’re all in this together – thrashing around in the dirt and the mud. After all the musicians I talked to, the albums I pored over, and the internet stalking I did, I feel like I actually learned something. I’ve seen live music in garages and 300 capacity rooms disguised as Jim Beam advertisements; I’ve heard music recorded by professional studios and toasters; I’ve talked to people from all walks of life that can transcend and translate 24
their experiences into the universal language of music. I learned about the key ingredients of a thriving musical community: people need connection. People need to feel safe in the environments they choose to be in. People need to feel accepted, welcomed into, and celebrated in our local music scene. Sometimes, we’re okay at that, and sometimes, we miss the mark. But we’re learning as we go, and if the people I’ve interviewed this year are any indication, we’ll get there. We’re getting there. I also learned about our shortcomings. Venues are understaffed and overworked. Diversity in music isn’t as celebrated as it should be. People don’t come to shows. We need more bands, more promoters, more drummers, and more music. We need to trust ourselves and the art that we create. And above all, we need one another. But we do this for ourselves; the 13-year-old version that’s losing their shit seeing a band for the first time. We do this for each other, ‘cause we know how easy it is to sink into the darkness without a community to belong to. And we do this for you; for the possibility and privilege to be a soundtrack to your life. I hope you learned something too or, at the very least, had something to read while you were taking a shit. Thanks to the team at Nexus, everyone that read my ramblings, and the people who messaged me saying nice things when I accidentally became the Champion of the Left. If I can leave you with any advice, it’s this: if you think our music scene sucks, put your own fucking show on, then.
Post-Match Press Conference CAMERON MCROBIE It was a game of two years. There’s been ups and downs but y’know, the lads (that’s me, fuckers) are just truly over the moon with the end result. Sports columns can go either way; especially when you’re playing the obscure game. Too many jokers these days think they can stick to the status quo, but our fantastic coaching staff here never stopped believing they could deliver bullshit sports and provocative opinions week on week – I think we’ve really shaken up what it means to write a student media sports column. There were definitely a few highs of the season where momentum was high at the breakdown and we managed to spin it out quickly week after week! Personal favourite of mine was definitely the beer sculling issue – though I’ll get to that at the aftermatch I’m sure (ha ha). The best plays—the ones that really hit with a ‘boomfa’ if you will—were the 2017 extreme ironing issue and this year’s ferret legging issue. If you haven’t read either of these, definitely hit the ol’ replay, or it’ll be assumed you’re not a true fan and definitely won’t have any of the hard-hitting chat to bring to the smoko table come Monday. There were certainly a couple of low moments where we really struggled for content at the breakdowns and were really getting pinned down. Particularly notable were attending
bums, tums and thighs—purely for content, I promise—and giving the annual Dancing with the Stars TAB rundown. However, after trawling the most niche corners of the net and noting countless intoxicated rants, the pressure was put back on in the boiler room, ears were pinned back and the keyboard was hit with pace! Me, oh my, a few points were notched up – that much is certain. Twenty issues in the 2017 round-robin and another 18 in 2018 – totalling 38 somewhat questionable performances. Who would’ve thunk some engineering jock could string a sentence together at a writing level higher than an 8-yearold – let alone captain a sports column. For all the Chads™ out there who never completed year 13 English (probably) and have certainly never written more than a set of red-card rules for fun, this is for you. Not to be a cathartic cunt, though I’ll certainly miss The Crowd Goes Mild and Nexus, I’m fucking stoked it’s nearly over. It’s time to retire, hand on the torch, and start adulting. Of course, the standard “write for Nexus” propaganda is due – and I seriously do recommend it. Someone’s gonna have to pick up the baton and represent all that’s good and atrocious in the world of sport. Quick shameless Insta plug, gimme a follow @cfmcrobie. Otherwise, I’m out – that’s what’s up.
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2018 in Review
Archie Porter
YEAR OF THE SNITCH – DEATH GRIPS: I’ve always enjoyed Death Grips’ music, despite their awful fanbase. Naturally, I was anticipating Year Of The Snitch, though I was unsure what to expect. To my surprise, it absolutely blew me away and is probably my favourite record of the year. It combines elements from all their previous work into a subversive, grotesque, catchy and cohesive album; rarely missing a beat. ‘(4:30) IDLER / SLEEP’ – JAMIE ISAAC: Taken from his second album, this titular track has been at the tippytop of my Spotify for quite some time. Though the record overall was somewhat disappointing, following on from his frankly brilliant debut, this particular track stood out to me with its mesmerizing vocals and rapid percussion. BEYONDLESS – ICEAGE: Another fantastic slice of
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contemporary punk-rock in their already excellent discography. My top picks would be ‘Hurrah’, ‘Pain Killer’, and ‘Catch It’; these three tracks demonstrate the subtle interweaving of aggression and beauty that’s prominent throughout the record. It’s a brilliant piece of work, and it’s fair to say that Iceage are killing the game right now. PERSONA – RIVAL CONSOLES: It’s a shame I didn’t get to review this one, as Persona is one of the best records I’ve listened to all year. Inspired by and named after Ingmar Bergman’s masterful film, the record is an avant-garde, ambient electronic piece that fuses hard-hitting beats, tonal shifts, and echoing analogue synths to form expansive soundscapes. It’s an eerie, disturbing, and occasionally beautiful odyssey – just like uni.
Jamie Foley A LAUGHING DEATH IN MEATSPACE – TROPICAL FUCK
WHOAH, these guys have ‘fuck’ in their name. What the fuck does that album title even mean? Look at that album art—wild. Maybe I’m like a magpie, but, instead of shiny stuff, it’s just that I’m attracted to weird shit, nevertheless, post-punk/blues punk str8 outta Aussie. The lead singers got a powerful and brooding delivery. This is best played LOUD. STORM:
GOD’S FAVORITE CUSTOMER – FATHER JOHN MISTY:
Antonia Carter
A dreamy melody behind harsh lyrics makes for a surreal track. Trippie Redd considers a Kurt Cobain-style demise while warning listeners to be careful what they wish for. The rapper practically screams his way through the post-chorus – painful but very effective. ‘SHADES OF BLUE’ – THYTHY: Shades of Blue is a standout track from the Lover Girl EP. Thythy (pronounced Tee-tee) mixes soft electric guitar and low-key beats to create a song which is both comforting and chill AF. Perfect listening times: during a balmy afternoon in the sun, or following a late night cry. ‘HUNGER’ – FLORENCE + THE MACHINE: Florence + the Machine explodes back into the music scene with this powerful track. The super catchy chorus line “we all have a hunger” expounds how everyone has a desire for something greater. Florence’s soaring vocals and ethereal energy will have you dancing barefoot into the weekend. ‘WISH’ – DIPLO (FEAT. TRIPPIE REDD):
Man, FJM is really in the poem zone. He’s moved on from the ‘we live in a society’-isms found on pure comedy to ‘oh god, I’m depressed. I’m gonna lock myself in a hotel for weeks on end’ and, y’know, I feel that, bro. Third life crisis spec; the father, like always, delivered some really touching stuff this year and even managed to tone down on the sarcasm (something I haven’t quite figured out). YOUR
QUEEN
IS
A
REPTILE
–
SONS
OF
KEMET:
Jazz can’t die, baby. Each song is named after an influential black woman in history, so it’s got the added bonus of pissing racists off with funky jazz music. GOD DAMN, it is funky; just try not to at least be tapping your foot along to it. If you can, I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do for you, you’re lost. JOY AS AN ACT OF RESISTANCE – IDLES: POSITIVE PUNK music! It’s like punk music, but… well, it’s not all that positive; it’s quite nihilistic, but its very tongue in cheek at its best. This one is all about toxic masculinity, which they ironically talk about in a violent and macho way, but you know, that’s the ‘a r t’ of it. This album is important stuff for modern British music. Seriously can’t recommend it enough if post-hardcore/punk/ post-punk is your thing.
‘MARINERS APARTMENT COMPLEX’WQ – LANA DEL
The first single from Del Rey’s up-and-coming album Norman Fucking Rockwell conveys an upwards shift in sound, mirroring the sanguine nature of 2017’s Lust for Life. Although tinged with Lana’s trademark melancholic lyrics, this piano-led ballad sees the singer adopt a happier take on love. REY:
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Kim Sare
CHIAROSCURO – OCEAN ALLEY: The release of Ocean Alley’s new album Chiaroscuro in March was a godsend, serving up some beautifully mellow tunes just waiting to be played over the warm summer months. Easy lyrics, smooth melodies, and just some super good vocals to fulfil my psychedelic surf rock musical needs – defo an A+ from me. NEW LIGHT – JOHN MAYER: John Mayer was easily the love of my life in high school, so much so that I still have all his CDs in my car now. So when I heard he was releasing new music I was understandably bloody thrilled. Long story short, ‘New Light’ is exactly what you’d expect from a 40-year-old single John Mayer; a groovy ‘80s-inspired track. Of course, a 10/10. IRIDESCENCE – BROCKHAMPTON: Say what you want about the little white girl from Auckland liking BROCKHAMPTON, this whole album is play-onrepeat-all-day worthy. Filled with band drama and even calling out BBC, this perfect mix of hip hop, RnB and rap is all you need. If you can’t find a track you enjoy on the album, perhaps you need better taste?
Lyam Buchanan
Sweaty, careless, surfrock. This Australian two-piece does everything that Skegss and the Good Doogs do – except better. They love what they’re doing and have a shitload of fun doing it, something which translates clearly through their sound. There’s nothing pretentious about it – it’s just fun. CLEAN – SOCCER MOMMY: Indie songwriters tend to fall within a fairly strict set of cliches, and this is no exception. It’s mellow, emotional, and sincere; pretty much exactly what you’d expect the protagonist of a John Green film to listen to. Extended play will leave you feeling like a 16-year-old girl with a complicated crush on her neighbour. WAX MAN – HARRY PERMEZEL: While his natural poetic wit makes for some quality lyricism, it’s his BLEND INN – HOCKEY DAD:
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production that really caught me. This Melbourne native takes a softer approach to typical math-rock, giving it more of a slow-core vibe with a Sufjanadjacent folk twist – if that wankfest of a description doesn’t sell you, nothing will. PUPPY LOVE – MOM JEANS: Objectively this album is nothing special; as background music, I’ve found it useful, but other than that it’s stock standard. Though, to their credit, Mom Jeans have a knack for seamlessly jumping between twinkly mid-western and light-hearted power pop. If anything, this is the perfect example of a 2018 ‘emo’ release.
Vincent Owen
Uncensored queerness. I’ll admit, I’m a bit over-sentimental about this LP. It’s helped me grapple with a new level of gender dysphoria, and provided some form of guidance while I scraped through a breakup. Tracks like ‘At Least the Sky is Blue’ paint the simultaneous warmth and bitter isolation of queer social lives, while ‘Heaven Is My Thing Again’ soars as an anthem of self-acceptance. FAMILY PORTRAIT – ROSS FROM FRIENDS: Family Portrait has the supple grain of a John Hughes film – this is the most pretentious thing I have ever written. I’ll admit, I added the album to my Spotify library purely for the artwork, but upon further listening, was dazzled by tracks like ‘Pale Blue Dot’, ‘The Knife’ and ‘Don’t Wake Dad’. It’s an unassuming album; having flown under the radar of most music-heads this year. But Ross is worth your time – trust me. OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES – SOPHIE: With the announcement of a new solo project late last year, O – SSION:
Sophie stepped uncharacteristically into the media spotlight to openly discuss her identity as a trans* artist. Across this album, Sophie harnesses vocals provided by Cecile Believe to explore transcendence from the rigidity of human identity. OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES teeters between the hyper-pop that fans had come to expect of her and undulating electronic symphonies. SAFE IN THE HANDS OF LOVE – YVES TUMOR: This LP somehow synthesises a high level of experimentation with accessibility. It’s experimental music through and through, full of chops, layering samples – but it’s got groove. Look no further than the lead single, ‘Noid’. You could mistake this song for ‘90s Britpop, or get caught up in the mid-century jazz of ‘Faith in Nothing Except in Salvation’. It’s a postmodern fantasia of pickings from the musical spectrum, filtered through the proudly black, daringly queer mind of Yves. 29
Some of you will be leaving at the end of the year to enter the “real” world. Others are planning to extend their adolescence by a few more years. Whether you have your future sorted or no fucking clue what to do with yourself, let our Nexus oracles predict your destiny. START:
Be honest: do you enjoy uni?
N
Do you get good grades?
N
Do you gym?
N Y
Y Do you sink piss every week?
Y
Y
Are you a virgin?
Do you consistently post on the gram more than once a week?
Y Steve Jobs Level Tech Whiz
Don’t worry; once you’re crazy freakin’ rich, some thotty gold digger will take your virginity.
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N
Y Engineer
God, if you’re in charge of our country’s infrastructure, that’s concerning. We predict a potent beer belly within the next ten years.
Bodybuilder
It sounds like you have the narcissism—er, I mean the skillset—already down pat. Now, shut up about protein already.
N
N
Firefighter
Chef
Wow, you really seem to like living life on the edge. Running in and out of burning houses will feel like a breeze considering the amount of your grades that went up in flames.
Y’know, maybe uni just isn’t for you. But we bet you could make a mean crème brûlée.
Y Are you prone to handing things in with less than a minute to spare?
Y N
N
Have you ever successfully poached an egg?
Y
Would you consider yourself a fun-loving person?
Y N
You’re employable and motivated. Come back and relate with us after a mid-life crisis shatters your perfect suburban life.
Doctor
You already have experience in being intelligent and hating your life – being a doctor sounds about right! We think you should enrol in that imaginary Waikato med school.
Biologist
What a career! You’re the more likeable, adventurous, chill cousin of physicists and chemists.
Are you in Golden Key?
A well-paid job in your chosen field
Nothing
So, you’re one of those people, huh? Well, you’re doing nothing now so why would things be any different in a few years?
N
Do you actually put in effort to get good grades?
Y
Lawyer
The fact that you hate your study, scrape by despite your best efforts, and don’t have homemaking skills screams law student.
N Early childhood teacher
You, my friend, are one wholesome creature. Reading storybooks and supervising finger painting is your calling.
Chemist
That last answer has “I enjoy chemistry” written all over it.
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889/3216
This humble Hogan Street abode is known for its beer pong prowess; cultivating some of the ‘best players Waikato has ever seen’. Despite working or studying full-time, these dashing gentlemen pride themselves on ‘full-time hissing’, along with their talents in acquiring vague goods. From give way signs and picket fences to shopping trolleys and abandoned couches, this residence is truly home for the abnormal.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) New beginnings and experiences sum up your year quite well, Libra. Be sure to share your new wisdom with all those lucky enough to be graced by your presence; your tips are sure to change their sex lives forever. Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) Last year was a year of flourishing and you bloomed in a new environment. However, keep in mind that this was last year, and 2018 won’t end as well for you. Nexus wishes you the best of luck. Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) As our year draws to an end, prosperity is coming your way. Accept this gift graciously even if it comes with a loss of social life and the lack of a summer tan. Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) Entering 2018 as an ambitious and organised leader was a great plan but, unfortunately, was carried out poorly. Be sure to give it another crack next year; it’s sure to work the second time around. Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) As the university year draws to a close, your plans to end the semester with a bang are in full swing. Proceed with caution; future plans of a summer bender may be hindered by an unexpected and embarrassing injury. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) The passing of this celestial period brings with it the end of an era. Embrace the good things coming your way for you will finally get the fuck out of Hamilton.
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Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) If this past year has taught you anything, it will have been your selfworth. Be sure to carry this with you into your next stage; it will be necessary to put a bitch or two in their place. Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) This year has been one of upheaval and emotional turmoil. Bear in mind that summer is on its way, and at least you can spend all day at home without feeling guilty about missing class. Gemini (May 21-June 20) 2018 has seen you in a rut and, frankly, your flatmates are sick of the complaining. Our crystal ball advises making your move before they realise you’ve been wasting their time for the last several months. Cancer (June 21-July 22) As we begin the home stretch to a new year, reevaluate your priorities in life. Horoscopes should not be this important to you, so stop sending links to other so they “get the hint”. Leo (July 23-Aug 22) 2018 is almost done and dusted, and you’re still acting like a nasty 15-year-old in high school. We suggest aiming for more character development next year. Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) No matter your past tendencies regarding the wrongdoings of others, summer shall be the time to forgive and forget this year’s mistakes. Perhaps turn to your favourite natural substance and mellow out a little to forget your grudges.
Deck: Me, oh my, it’s that time of the year again Y’all know the gist but we’ll give you a rundown of the attendees anyway One of these queens is a steamy and also spicy blonde number, a high achiever, and somewhat of a dancer. The other queen is a sultry brunette goddess; a lover of the fine arts; a savant of all things culture. The boys are just plain ol’ dudes, studying plain ol’ dude things with plain ol’ dude traits and hobbies. Fuck it – let’s crack in SHE SAID:
SHE SAID:
I really didn’t think I’d ever end up in this situation, but shit happens, so here I am. I also didn’t think I would end up with a hangover the size of a 747, but that happened too. Thank fuck us girls knew each other, so we were able to build the anxiety and dread together. I was thinking exit strategies, code language, and wondering whether venus being in retrograde would bring me true love. I was rather surprised when our dates arrived; we weren’t completely stitched up. They were fairly handsome lads, a few years older, studying sensible degrees. On paper, not bad, although I would change the bowl cut. The chat was pretty constant, and eventually our drinking carried on to Wonder Horse, at which point we were all rather trashed. No moves were made, and there’s only a short window following a date, so I’ve chalked it down to a random yet oddly amusing Wednesday night, and a reminder that long island iced teas are really never a good idea.
After being completely stitched up by a friend and being told I was going on a blind date, I headed home from uni early to get to work on making myself look semi-decent. After getting the “I’m on my way“ text from my friend and realising I still wasn’t bloody dressed, the nerves definitely started to kick in. Fresh out of Banrock Moscato, us girls decided head in early to down a couple of drinks before the boys arrived. Unlucky for us our drinks arrived the same time as the boys, but they were on time, so brownie points to them. My initial positive feelings were quickly questioned when they ordered four tequila shots - not a great idea for me. But my daily horoscope had told me to ignore my fear of failure and fake it til I made it, so I downed the shot like a proper 20 year old would. The night progressed in the standard blind date way with your usual small talk. Unfortunately the drinks didn’t seem to be calming my nerves at all, just making me a bit chattier and louder than my sober self, so I’m sure I made a great impression. After realising we were the last table still in the House, we decided to move on and grab some more drinks somewhere else (probably not necessary for me, whoops). The four of us scored a ride home at some point from our mutual friend which was primo, huge cheers to not having to pay for an Uber. Overall, it was a fun night so thanks Nexus, although haven’t cracked a friend request yet so maybe not as good as I thought.
HE SAID:
HE SAID:
I have no issues when it comes to getting laid so it’s fair to say I didn’t need a blind date, but my acquaintance definitely needed a trusty wingman. When we arrived we were shown to a table with two rather safe birds, both of which had obviously been calming their nerves with a few too many cocktails. As a collective unit I’d rate the general sex appeal of me and my companion as a strong 8. I’ve got the chat, the experience, and the jawline, whereas he’s got more of that mysterious vibe, the strong collarbone, and somewhat of a smoulder. Straight off the bat I knew these girls were a light 7, I got the impression that they were the kind of free spirits who’d enjoy a casual Tuesday spit roast. The night was definitely looking positive for at least one of us to slot a shaft. The chat was nothing special, the food was average at best, but by about 10 pm everyone was fairly steamed so in the hope of speeding up the evening I led the way to Wonder Horse. Sadly by the time we finished our next drink it became obvious that these girls were a little smashed, so we ordered a final round to neck, piled into a car and headed back to our respective flats. It definitely could’ve gone better, but I still busted a nut at the end of the night so I can’t really complain.
I was definitely a little nervous going into this, I had no idea what to expect so took my time with a shower beer to prep myself for the evening ahead. But even a couple more beers and an inspirational Uber pep talk later I was still noticeably nervous, it wasn’t until we got to the table that I started to calm. Normally when I’m around gorgeous girls I struggle to keep my cool and hold conversation, but there was something about them that put me at ease. I still couldn’t get a word in thanks to ******** and his big mouth, but I’d like to think I kept pretty calm and collected. I don’t remember much about the conversation but I do remember catching myself staring a few too many times, we found out that the four of us had a few mutual friends but funnily enough had never crossed paths. Eventually I managed to catch one of the girls and get to know her a little better while ******* ‘worked his magic’ which was lovely. But other than that it turned out to be a pretty normal night. We popped over to another bar a little later and tried some fancy cocktails which was fun, but I don’t think I managed to impress either of the girls. Luckily we managed to all get a free ride home together but I’m yet to receive any friend requests. All in all a fun night! Thanks Nexus and House on Hood!
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Puzzles
CODE CRACKER 20
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EZ SUEDOEKYEW
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=Y
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UNDO THIS SUDOKU
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ALGE-BRUH
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A B C D E F G H I J KL M N O P Q R STUVWXYZ
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SUDOKU EXCEPT IT'S RED
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NUANCE ACTION DENIAL READER UPDATE
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The wingular dingular, abstract and loco-crazy, mega difficult x1000000000000000 WINGDINGS SPECIAL! GRAVEL DEMAND STRONG ACCEPT HEALTH
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THEME:
CANVAS DEPUTY JUNIOR DOUBLE MARKET
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g sad
llyt fuckin
that'sr ea
what are we go
ing to do
i am so sad!!!!
i ddidn't antici pate this level of emotio THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE nal i guesS that's the END of SIMPIL st re if e!! !! _ W
WOa
RIP IN PIEC
PIZULEs, Simple friendS????????
C E BUT WE HAVE ONE LAST PUZZLE!
Were simple puzzles too neesh nishe nesh neish neeche ???
ZERO RESULTS FOUND LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS:
=9
=2
=0
Yes Yees ahaha 41