Nexus 2017 Issue 04 by Nexus Magazine

TINDER TALES: GRINDR SPECIAL — Page 35

HOMEOPATHY? HOMEO-PATHETIC — Page 11

SPOTLIGHT ON: MOSUL — Page 05

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01 04 05 09 11 15 17 20 21 23

25 27 31 38 40 41

Editorial

Full Exposure

Uni News

Student Experience

News

Columns

Sports

Feature

Reviews

Entertainment

Auteur House

Centrefold - Nikkole Lulu

Humble Abodes

Snapped

Blind Date

Puzzles

CO-EDITORS

CONTRIBUTORS

Bronwyn Laundry Lyam Buchanan editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Richard Swainson Tom Collopy Onyx Lily Alexander Nebesky Conor Maxwell Troy Anderson Meth Rogen Jacqui Swney Aunty Kumara Tash Fitzsimons Emily Reid Sarah Hyde Jean Balchin Jacob Tait Matthew Rae Yeah the Science Boys Nikkole Lulu Alessandra Tane Capital Correspondent

DESIGN

Vincent Owen design@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITOR

Jennie-Louise Kendrick jen@nexusmag.co.nz MANAGING EDITOR

James Raffan james@nexusmag.co.nz

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Editorial — Pānui Ētita

Wow! 9/10 people won't guess what these editors did next! We don’t theme our issues anymore, but inadvertently, this week ended up being the Week of the Quarterlife Crisis. Our designer shaved his head a la Britney circa 2007, Bron handed an assignment in with 10 minutes to spare on the day of our print deadline and Lyam, well, Lyam asked the question “What’s your physical email?” when asking for a house address. Rather than arbitrarily come up with themes (which results in somewhat contrived content), Nexus wants to create current content that is actually important to students. This is easier said than done, especially it gets to Thursday and life has gotten in the way and we’ve yet to come up with an editorial focus. Let’s not forget we’ve got lives as well, pity us, forgive the occasional puzzle mistake and typo. We’re slightly more disorganised than our predecessors, it’s true, our editorial meetings generally happen at 3am in the Greensboro Park, but we’re doing it our own way, the University of Otago would say we’re taking our place in the world lmao. We hope you’ve noticed and appreciated the changes we’re making. You must be, because these things are flying off the shelves, motherfuckers. 01

N.04 / V.49

Our content is diverse this week. Lyam interviewed a slightly wanky indie band (page 25), news is full of researched essays (page 5) and on page 11 Onyx Lily gives her thoughts on homeopathy (spoiler: she doesn’t like it). And if you’re sitting there wondering “Why the fuck does Nexus look so different every week? Is the designer actually on drugs?” never fear, we’re finding our feet design wise, trying new things and keeping you on your toes. It’ll all become regular soon enough, until then, enjoy the ride with us.

Pānui Ētita — Editorial

NEXUS MAGAZINE

— Lyam and Bron 02

THE BUS WORKS FOR ME. TRY IT! Seli. Regular passenger on the 10 Hillcrest bus.

0800 4 BUSLINE (0800 4 287 5463) facebook.com/busitwaikato

NI NEW

Pitopito Korero — Uni News

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Managing your time? If you want to learn how to get things done, come along to the 'Getting Things Done: Time Management and Productivity Simplified' workshop next Tuesday 21 March. Simply log into MyCareer to RSVP.

Not fully living the dream? If you’ve had a change of heart about your living arrangements, fully catered rooms are still available in our Halls of Residence. You’ll receive three meals a day with internet and power included in the total cost. For more information contact the Accommodation Office or phone 07 838 4084.

Where in the world will you go? Come along to the Waikato OE Student Exchange Fair on Thursday 23rd March. Find out where you can study in over 20 countries and chat to students who have studied overseas. See you in the Student Centre Foyer, Level 2, from 11am-3pm.

Bikes on campus Bikes on Campus provides free repaired bikes to refugees via the Red Cross and subsidised repaired bikes to Waikato students. For only $60 you can buy a second-hand bike for a year to ride to uni, and then return it when you’re done for $20 cash back!

WMS International Exchange Scholarship Are you a full-time Waikato Management School student and are thinking about doing an overseas exchange in Europe, the USA, Canada, Mexico or Asia in B Semester? Apply for the Waikato Management School International Exchange Scholarship valued from $1,500.

Hurry as applications close on Monday 20

March. Visit waikato.ac.nz/scholarships to apply.

Conservatorium of Music Lunchtime Recital Series Come along to the Gallagher Academy of Performing Arts on Wednesday 22 March at 1pm for a performance from the New Zealand Chamber Soloists piano trio, joined by star violinist Amalia Hall. Entry is free for students with a valid ID or $5 at the door.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

News

Spotlight on: Mosul Alexander Nebesky Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi declared himself Caliph of the Islamic State and

formidable task of recapturing Mosul. Beginning with the clearing of IS

leader for all muslims from inside Mosul’s Great Mosque in June of 2014

positions in the villages surrounding the city, it was clear that it would

after IS forces stormed the city, which remains their largest conquest

be no mean feat to unseat the caliphate from its last and greatest

to date. Described in an official IS document released that same year as

stronghold in Iraq. Concurrent with the preparations for an assault on

“the sheikh, the fighter, the scholar who practices what he preaches,

the city, the Royal Air Force began a campaign of bombings and air-

the worshipper, the leader, the warrior, the reviver, descendant from

strikes to neutralise heavily-fortified IS positions. Leaflet drops by the

the family of the Prophet, the slave of God”, Baghdadi now watches

Iraqi Air Force warn residents that “The Iraqi forces will continue to

helplessly, having reportedly fled from the combat zone, as his forces in

liberate your areas from ISIS, therefore we ask you to stay away from

Mosul teeter on the brink of collapse in the face of the US-backed Iraqi

the locations of the outfit”.

Army’s Operation: We Are Coming, Nineveh.

The strategic significance of Mosul to the Islamic State is sizeable.

Mosul stands as the last stronghold of IS in Iraq, the jewel in the

Given the proximity to agricultural land and oil fields, the city provides

crown of Baghdadi’s caliphate, and the centre of brutal oppression, vio-

IS with the resources necessary to fund their expansion, and the popu-

lence, unlawful executions, and fundamental extremism. Once a thriving

lation of the area provides a steady base from which to tax. Dr. Reuben

city of two and a half million people, the IS totalitarian regime and the

Steff, Waikato University political science and public policy lecturer, said

displacement caused by the conflict in and around the city have result-

“The city is judged critical to ISIL’s long term ability to sustain the Islam-

ed in the displacement or murder of near on a million of its residents.

ic State as a functional territorial entity and a major symbol of its pow-

Five months ago, the Iraqi Army and Peshmerga forces began the

er.” The symbolic nature of Mosul is closely linked with its prominence in Islamic State history – Mosul is where the Caliphate was declared; it is the Islamic State’s greatest achievement, its most populous territory. It is for those reasons, says Dr. Steff, that “retaking Mosul is judged essential by the advancing Iraqi and coalition forces in order to uproot ISIL from northern Iraq and deal a massive blow to ISIL’s prospects of maintaining a state across Iraq and Syria.” The thrust of the issue is that Mosul is a cash cow for IS, and as their grip on the city is steadily and effectively loosened, their ability to support their forces, and to fund terrorist cells in Europe is eroded. Though it is important to note, as Dr. Steff does, “that … Prior to emerging as the Islamic State in June 2014, ISIL members and leaders faced major setbacks throughout the 2000s, and always managed to retrench and relaunch the organisation back into prominence.” That is to say that given the chaotic nature of the region at present and the loose organisation of IS, it is not altogether unlikely that a victory in Mosul will be handled effectively by Islamic State leaders and merely provide a window of opportunity for coalition forces to root out and destroy the group, rather than the decisive battle one might expect it to be. The ongoing liberation of Mosul has, and continues to, reward coalition forces with significant symbolic victories over IS with each key location captured overturning iconic IS gains. This month alone the

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Pitopito Korero — News

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Nineveh Governorate Complex was captured in a nighttime raid, IS’s court of justice was liberated, and perhaps most significantly the Mosul Museum, the site of wanton destruction and vandalism of priceless historical objects, was secured after heavy fighting. Speaking to Peter Dornauf, who covered the destruction of artefacts in Mosul Museum for Nexus when it happened in 2014, the historical and cultural cost of IS occupation has been immense. “What began with the militant jihadists taking to the ancient Assyrian artefacts with sledgehammers has ended with the exhibition halls reduced to piles of rubble.” he says. Although much of the smaller artefacts had been evacuated to Baghdad, many enormous works of art and religious objects from the surrounding area of Nineveh and many other ancient Assyrian pieces have been obliterated by IS who saw them as idolatrous and an affront to God. The implication of this destruction on future heritage preservation in the Middle East is anything but positive. “Much more, obviously, could have been done, but once again it has taken the intervention of western forces to inspire and facilitate a rescue mission. That is not of course to forget that western political machinations have contributed to the mess in the first place.” IS has made the destruction of history a hallmark in their approach to conquest, with the demolition of the Temple of Hatra in northern Iraq standing alongside the destruction at Mosul Museum as a pillar of IS disregard for regional heritage, and human history on the whole. It is, as Dornauf puts it, “... an utter tragedy and merely reflects [the] human barbarism associated with perverted religious fanaticism.” The future of heritage preservation in the politically volatile regions of the Middle East is rightfully called into question when UNESCO world heritage sites are unable to be protect-

involvement could be seen as a step closer to Kurdish independence.

ed and significant artefacts are not promptly moved from harm’s way,

Now, with over 80% of Mosul liberated, the question becomes one

resulting in the aforementioned destruction and their sale on the black

of postwar consolidation and pacification, and the challenges faced

market; a particularly nefarious result of a history-rich region being cap-

by Iraqis and their government during the reconstruction of the city.

tured by fanatical terrorists- though perhaps the question historians

Given that a significant factor in the capture of Mosul by Islamic State

should consider is whether it is preferable, in such no-win situations,

had been the largely Sunni population’s mistrust for the primarily Shia

for artefacts to be sold rather than destroyed, weighing up the value

Government, the future of Mosul must be one starkly different to the

of the works in the stories they tell against the potential and very real

climate that created the current situation- though, speaking on the

human cost of artefacts funding the arming of extremist organisations.

subject of ethnic and religious divisions in Iraq, Dr. Steff is realistic

Coalition forces have found themselves aided by a plethora of ethnic

about future prospects- “you cannot turn a state driven by sectari-

minority militias in the fight against the Islamic State, most notably, the

an rivalries and bloodshed over the past decade into a cosmopolitan

Kurdish Peshmerga, and for the hopeful Kurdish people, Peshmerga’s

state overnight.” ♦

NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

My body, Bill’s Choice? The Capital Correspondent Prime Minister Bill English has responded to the Abortion Advisory Committee’s call for an update to New Zealand abortion laws last week, by stating that he would not “liberalise” New Zealand’s abortion laws because it was not a priority and have “stood the test of time”. The two types of abortion procedures available for women in the early stages of pregnancy are a medical abortion, which uses a pill rather than a surgery and can be taken up to nine weeks into a pregnancy,

Another law that governs abortion rights in New Zealand is the Con-

or a surgical abortion, which would occur between the ninth and nine-

traception, Sterilisation and Abortion Act 1977 (CS&A 1977). It outlines

teetnh weeks. Abortions in New Zealand are also free for most New

the process a woman needs to go through to get an abortion and estab-

Zealand residents.

lished the Abortion Supervisory Committee, who report to parliament

Abortions in New Zealand are still part of the Crimes Act 1961, which still only refers to doctors that could perform the procedures

every year on the quality of services and maintains the list of certified medical professionals who can grant abortions.

as “he”, and requires women to have two medical professionals decide

The Care of Children Act 2004 is the most recent law to modernise

whether carrying a baby to term would be a physical or mental health

abortion rights, as it gave women under the age of 16 the right to con-

risk to the pregnant woman or foetus.

sent to an abortion once she has gone through the process outlined

Pregnancy as a result of rape is not a legal ground for an automati-

in the CS&A 1977. Labour supports a reform to the abortion laws and

cally granted abortion under the outdated law. However, these restric-

its removal from the Crimes Act 1961, and Labour leader Andrew Little

tions are regularly subverted by doctors and patients, and 97% of abor-

stated that he differs with the “deeply conservative” views that English

tions are granted based on a recognised risk to mental health.

has on the issue, "The law doesn't provide for the woman's right to

The requirement to have two medical professionals decide the risk

choose. There are hoops to go through... it is time for a review."

has then lead to 252 reported cases of an abortion being denied to a

Little has also criticised Health Minister Jonathan Coleman’s “con-

woman by the two-needed professionals. However, this does not mean

tradictory” attitude towards the issue, as Coleman has echoed Eng-

that an abortion was denied, because a third medical professional could

lish’s stance and is “happy” with the law as it stands, but has in the

have overruled the decision and granted the abortion to the patient.

past supported a woman’s right to choose to have an abortion.

It is unknown on what grounds these abortions were rejected, and some patients reported being given no reason at all.

The Green Party of Aotearoa have continuously supported campaigns and policy to decriminalise abortion. Green Co-leader Metiria

In the Health Practitioners Competence Assurance Act 2003 and

Turei was vexed by the brushing off of reform by National ministers,

after a 2010 High Court ruling, medical professionals have the power

saying "It's an old law. It's written in a sexist way. And it embeds sexist

to conscientiously object to granting an abortion or providing contra-

ideas in that it suggest or assumes that women need to be controlled

ception, and can refuse to assess a woman or assist in a procedure.

around their own fertility and their reproductive and sexual health."

However, they must inform a woman where she can get the information from another medical professional. Around 13,000 women in 2015 had an abortion, and it is estimated that 1-in-4 women have had the procedure in their lifetimes.

ACT leader David Seymour called English’s stance “archaic”, but criticised the opposition for “grandstanding” and not introducing a bill into Parliament for the modernisation of abortion laws. He said, "The right thing to do is reform abortion law to reflect what actually happens: women exercise choice for their own reasons." Seymour stated he would introduce the bill himself if he did not currently have his euthanasia bill in the ballot. If changes to the law were brought to Parliament, the issue would most likely be voted on as a conscience vote and not something that would require following the party line. Pro-life English would undoubtedly vote against any modernisations of abortion law, just as he has repeatedly voted against reform and liberalisation on social issues like euthanasia, marijuana and drug policy, and marriage equality. If you or someone you know is seeking an abortion, contact the Hamilton Family Planning clinic of 07-839-4061 or contact your GP. Post-abortion counselling is also available. ♦

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Pitopito Korero — News

NEXUS MAGAZINE

TL;LR

Too Long; Lyam Read is our way of making sure you get the information you need without needing to read. ‘ALPINE DWELLING LOCAL CAUSES A RUCKUS.’ — A moose on the loose caught several skiers and snowboarders by surprise as it galloped headlong down a run at Breckenridge Ski Resort in Colorado. ‘SWEET LORD THIS IS NOT THE GOODS AT ALL.’ — Footrot Flats creator Murray Ball has died. He was aged 78. ‘STUFF.CO.NZ CONTINUES TO CREATE AWARD WORTHY HEADLINES.’ — What does a $630m expressway buy? Nine sweet minutes of your life. ‘FALSE ADVERTISING LEAVES ANIMAL LOVERS RILED.’ — Those free range eggs you bought at Countdown may not have been free range at all. A Newsroom.co.nz investigation has revealed that millions of free range eggs sold at Countdown before this year were likely to have been laid by caged hens. ‘EDGY TEEN ATTEMPTS TO SINGLE HANDEDLY SHUT DOWN FONTERRA BUT ENDS UP WHINGING TO INSURANCE DUDES.’ — A Tauranga teenager is taking on an insurance giant after it refused to payout on damages incurred when his SUV struck a cow. ‘BITTA RAIN LEAVES KIWIS DAMP AND DISORIENTATED.’ — Large sinkhole, flooded shops and flats focus of deluge aftermath. A section of a main New Lynn street remains cordoned off this morning with parts of a footpath now a giant gaping hole with an impassable sheer drop. ‘SLIGHTLY LESS DISORIENTATED KIWI INVENTS FLAWLESS PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEM.’ — Man goes down West Auckland dam in a tyre tube.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Sports — Hākinakina

Sports Love Racing Tom Collopy Coming home from school and seeing my step dad watching horse rac-

won and I could see how much it meant to him. A culmination of hard

ing, I would think to myself, what enjoyment does he get out of watch-

work and dedication had led to success for himself, his horse and the

ing this? In all honesty I thought it was pointless and boring. A couple

horse’s connections and it’s moments like those when you learn what

of years later I worked my first day at the TAB and my whole perception

horse racing is all about.

of racing changed. I fell in love with it; the passion, the complexity and the thrill of racing took a hold of me.

From the punting side of things there are number of factors that you have to consider before placing a bet, which makes it not only

The first thing that gripped me from day one was the passion every-

harder but a lot more fun and rewarding in my opinion. Studying form

one in the industry had, from the trainers down to the punters. You

can be time consuming and difficult but it pays off when you’re backing

could feel the passion that trainers and jockeys had for their horses

winners. You also get to see horses progress as they continue through

through the TV. The admiration everyone had for these animals was like

their preps and if you keep following them you will more likely than not

nothing I’d ever witnessed before and it was gripping. Watching Regan

end up getting rewarded for it. There’s a horse called Illuminati and I

Bayliss’s post-race interview after winning his first Group 1 race in the

back its start simply because I like the horse. I like to follow Trent Bus-

Newmarket Handicap aboard Redkirk Warrior I think is a perfect exam-

sutin over in Aussie because he has a barn of good horses and a num-

ple. He was choked up, this had been his dream since he was a young

ber of local owners still. These are the sort of traits or relationships you

kid and he had achieved it at 20 years of age. He gave his mount and

can develop through racing and it builds a sort of alliance or comradery

the team who trained him all the props saying “he’s a terrific horse” “the

toward a horse or trainer which I think is special. The thrill you get when

world's his oyster and I’m just so grateful I could ride him here today”.

a horse, jockey or trainer you like gets a win is immense, you feel happy

You learn from interviews like this and talking to people involved in the

for whomever it is including yourself if you had a bet.

industry that it is way more than just a business or a job. First and

I am lucky enough that this passion is part of my job. I get to talk

foremost it is a passion for horses. The animal’s interests and well-being

to a lot of people from all walks of life about a shared passion. I get to

are always going to be put first before any business decision and that’s

share my knowledge with others and also learn a lot at the same time.

what I think a lot of people from the outside looking in don’t see.

I love that I am always learning something new or helping others learn

This is the same for me, my passion goes well beyond the betting

which gives me a massive thrill. While I don’t agree with everything that

side of the industry. I love seeing trainers, owners and jockeys suc-

occurs in the industry I think it's a small percentage of people that give

ceeding, I love seeing how beautifully each horse is presented on race

the industry a bad name and then that gets generalised and reflected

day, I love seeing how a horse’s health and wellbeing is always put

upon everyone. I can’t imagine how a trainer who loves and takes care

first, I love seeing the admiration that people have for the horses. I

of all of their horses to the best of their ability feels when they read

love seeing the number of jobs the industry provides to people and

columns or posts from people slating the industry and say that what

I love seeing how the industry brings people from all walks of life to-

they are doing is animal cruelty.

gether to share in a passion.

I am not claiming to be an expert, you can criticise my opinion but

The next thing that made me fall in love with the industry is the

it’s not going to change. I love horse racing and I hope it will be a part of

complexity and thrill of it. There is so much work that goes into prepar-

my life for a long time, whether some frown upon it or not is not going

ing a horse for race day and I think that’s what makes it such a thrill for

to deter that. If you can gain anything from this column then I hope

trainers when their horses do win. Not only do they love their horses,

that it’s that the majority of trainers do the best by their horses, the

but they reflect on all the work that went into it and that they’ve done

care taken in looking after them is second to none and so much time,

the job for the horse’s connections, that’s what makes it special. I will

effort and money is invested into making sure the horses are in the

never forget that last year a five year old Gelding called Mabeel won

best health and condition they can be. There are so many positives that

the Group 3 Anniversary Stakes at Trentham by four lengths. One of

come out of the racing industry, some many amazing stories and a rich

the horse’s trainers, Trent Bussutin, was at my place of work when it

history. It’s an industry I stand strongly by and have a great love for. ♦

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Feature â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Kupu Whakaatu

HOMEOPATHY?

HOMEO-PATHETIC

Onyx Lily Is your doctor not giving you that good-good? That silver bullet? The ultimate cure to your ailments? Ever considered trying homeopathic or holistic treatment? Onyx Lily explains why we should be wary of homeopaths and their snake-oil selling ways.

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Kupu Whakaatu — Feature

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Once upon a time, before people knew how to science, people got sick

cussion. For the rest of us, let’s just say it’s less than your odds of

and died a lot more than they do now. Back then, it was commonly

winning Powerball this Saturday.

believed that illness was related to an imbalance of one of the four

When you buy a homeopathic “remedy”, the original active ingredi-

“humours”: blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile - which don’t sound

ent has been diluted to the point where no discernible traces of the

so humorous to me - and treatment generally involved bloodletting or

active ingredient remain. (That may be a good thing since many of the

purging. Leeches were a common means of bloodletting. Excuse me

original homeopathic substances were also highly toxic). Homeopathic

while I go and vomit.

pills are created by putting a drop of the preparation onto a sugar pill

In the 19th century, people began to do better sciencing; germ the-

and letting it evaporate. So even if the theory of “like cures like” worked

ory and bacteriology replaced purging and leeches, and modern medi-

(read: it doesn’t), there wouldn’t be enough of the active ingredient in

cine as we know it began to emerge. But creeping alongside it, came a

the homeopathic preparation to do anything anyway.

branch of pseudoscience known as CAM – complementary and alterna-

If you buy a homeopathic remedy, you are either buying a small

tive medicine, also known as quackery or “woo”. The worst (IMO) of the

bottle of distilled water and alcohol, or a box of sugar pills. And your

bunch is the complete twaddle known as homeopathy.

hard-earned/government-hand-out student dollar could stretch to a lot more alcohol and sugar by just buying a litre of Kristov 62 and a

WHAT IS HOMEOPATHY?

fun-sized box of M&Ms.

For many years, I had vaguely known people who said that homeopathic remedies worked for them. I assumed it had something to do with herbs, and figured that since many pharmacies stock homeopathic remedies, they must have some evidence that they work. Turns out I was wrong. Homeopathy was invented by German physician Samuel Hahnemann, who claimed to have discovered a substance that caused similar symptoms to an illness could cure that illness (“like cures like”), and that diluting that substance increased its potency. Basically, that’s like saying that if you have gastro flu, which gives you the runs, and Chicken

“If I put a drop of vodka in my water bottle, and bashed it around the right way, I should be able to get hella drunk.... Awesome!”

Vindaloo also gives you the runs, then putting a teeny tiny bit of chicken vindaloo in a litre of water and then drinking the water, will cure your gastro. Erm, what? As I understand the process, homeopaths look at a person’s symp-

MY AUNT KAREN SAYS IT CURED HER [BUNIONS/GASTRO/MEASLES/ STAGE 4 CANCER] – WHAT ABOUT THAT?

toms and select a “remedy” accordingly. They then dilute the solution

Hopefully, given that you’re at university, you know that anecdote

at a ratio of around 1 drop of stuff to 100 drops of water/alcohol, and

doesn’t equal evidence. Despite many personal testimonies to the ef-

bash it against something a few times in a magical process known as

fectiveness of homeopathy, there have been numerous studies and me-

succussion. They then proceed to dilute it a second time and bash

ta-studies (studies of studies) showing that homeopathic remedies are

it again… and again… and again. If you’re a maths-y person, there’s

no more effective than a placebo.

some pretty cool maths-y formulas you can use to see how many

Homeopaths usually genuinely believe in the snake-oil they are sell-

molecules of actual stuff there are left after the dilution and suc-

ing, and as a result their patients genuinely believe that they will work.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Feature — Kupu Whakaatu

The human mind is a complex thing, and in many cases, people will see

fective) medicine for themselves or their children; in favour of alterna-

improvement that isn’t there because they want to see it, or attribute

tive treatments, often spending money they don’t have for something

their inevitable recovery to homeopathy, rather than having a function-

that won’t work. In 2013, a seven-year-old boy died from strep throat

ing immune system. Something similar happens when people give their

because his family trusted homeopathy over doctors. In 2001, a 55-year-

pets homeopathic remedies. Yes, holistic veterinarians exist.

old woman died from an asthma attack after her homeopath told her

In defending their [witch]craft, practitioners claim that homeopathy

to stop taking her medication. In 1999, a 6-month-old baby died from

is not understood and can’t be measured by modern science. They claim

a treatable birth disorder when his parents turned to a homeopath in-

that water has a “memory”, so that even though there are no measur-

stead of a medical professional. And in 2016, ten infants died and hun-

able traces of whatever substance was dropped in it to start with, the

dreds more suffered ill-effects after being given homeopathic teething

water remembers it, and thus, retains its potency and works its magic.

tablets, which contained higher than recommended levels of belladon-

By that logic, if I put a drop of vodka in my water bottle, and bashed

na [again, read: deadly nightshade]. There are hundreds of cases of

it around the right way, I should be able to get hella drunk after my

unnecessary and preventable suffering, injury, and death like this. All

failure to win aforementioned Powerball. Awesome! Homeopaths have

have resulted from people turning to CAM, like homeopathy, rather than

also repeatedly failed to explain how their water “remembers” the drop

conventional medicine.

of belladonna [read: deadly nightshade] they put in it, but conveniently

There are calls for pharmacies to stop stocking homeopathic reme-

forgets all the fish poo and other crap that has ever passed through it.

dies, including a submission by NZ Skeptics to the Pharmacy Council’s

No matter what your bloody Aunt Karen says, the homeopathic rem-

2015 Code of Ethics Consultation. It is clear that many people (includ-

edy is not the thing that cured her, because that is physically (and

ing pharmacists) don’t understand what homeopathy is, and why it

biologically and chemically) impossible.

cannot work. Stocking these products seem to contradict clause 6.9 of the existing code, which states that pharmacies should “only purchase,

BUT BIG PHARMA IS BRAINWASHING US AND STUFF One of the arguments trotted out by proponents of homeopathy is that their CAM shams really do work, and it’s just that Big Pharma

supply or promote any medicine, complementary therapy, herbal remedy, or other healthcare product where there is no reason to doubt its quality or safety and when there is credible evidence of efficacy.”

makes so much money out of disease. They obviously want to hide

Back in Hahnemann’s day, his methods were understandably pref-

any evidence of real cures. To this I say bollocks. Surely, a global con-

erable to those of his leech-wielding contemporaries. But these days

spiracy on that scale would have been uncovered by now. If I can pay

we have remedies that are scientifically proven to be effective, such

$10 for a GP visit at Student Health, $5 for a prescription, and nothing

as vaccinations, antibiotics, and analgesics. Medical science has

to see a specialist through the public health system, while a friend

moved on, while homeopathy and most other forms of CAM have re-

pays $100 to visit a homeopath, then upwards of $20 for a bottle of

mained the same.

useless sugar pills – then exactly who is it that wants to make money for curing nothing…?

There are many instances where herbs, plant extracts and other natural remedies have been found to have a genuine medical use, and these have been researched and tested and re-tested and trialled until

IF THE PLACEBO EFFECT WORKS FOR SOME PEOPLE, AND IT

they are proven to be safe and effective. Admittedly, there have been

DOESN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING ANYWAY, THEN WHAT’S THE

failures, like thalidomide, but a lot more successes - science learns from

HARM IN HOMEOPATHY?

its mistakes. Because there’s a name for alternative medicine that’s

The real harm comes when people stop using conventional (i.e. ef-

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proven to work... Medicine. ♦

Fletch, Vaughan + Megan Weekdays 6am - 10am fvmzm

zmonline.com

Reviews — Arotakenga

REVIEWS

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Ed Sheeran’s third album Divide is out, and the kids out there who love Ed predictably love it. Lyam considers himself an Ed Sheeran connoisseur, the rest of us can take him or leave him, so a whole

album is a daunting prospect, but we know Ed delivered the goods twice before, and we hoped he would do it again.

We started off on Eraser, Conor immediately clung to it because it’s ‘fun’ and his life is painfully

mundane. Lyam got proper riled over the cliche wordplay of ‘eraser/erase her’ resulting in the realisation of his oncoming alcoholism. The fact that the song never seemed to end started to cause

Alex physical and emotional pain. Castle on the Hill was more than familiar by now so we were well prepared, after accepting how close it sounds to contemporary worship music the panel ended up on the tender topic of first kisses. Robbie choked a little as he cast his mind all those years back,

Album Arotakenga Pakaemi Divide - Entertainment (2017) Review Panel: Lyam, Conor, Robbie, Alex

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

“Her name was Sarah. It was when I lived in the Middle East. Maybe 2008.” Silence fell as we accepted how relatable that nostalgic rollercoaster was.

Dive, what a chorus- it’s a cookie-cutter ¾ ballad, but at least it showcases Ed’s vocal capabili-

ties when he isn’t trying desperately to be a rapper. Conor’s bottom lip started to tremble as Ed’s soft words overcame his geriatric soul, we decided this was the perfect moment to remember how we felt after our worst breakups. Lyam looked at home as he transcended to a place where it’s OK to

message your ex, Robbie continued to search for Sarah on Facebook. The existentialism consumed Alex and he started rambling about Bojack Horseman- ‘When you look at someone through rose-tint-

ed glasses all the red flags just look like flags.’ Shape of You is the grooviest track on the album. Its Ed being sexy, and while it would be hard to pick out of a lineup of sexy dance songs, the contrast between it and the tracks surrounding it on the album almost makes it seem out of place. It’s good

enough, it gets you moving, but it offers nothing more than trite mediocrity. As Perfect started to play Robbie sat in silence, his mind wandered back to his romance with Sarah under the hot Middle

Eastern sun. A love that could never be, but a love he can’t help but wonder about. For the rest of

us it stuck with the theme of bland, generic, lyrical themes and the saccharine string colour is a lazy attempt at sincerity that does little to lift the track from the depths of middling inoffensiveness. Galway Girl is gimmicky.

Happier has been done too many times before, the shitty X Factor chorus just lowered the morale of the panel further. Robbie stared into space. ‘I think Sarah’s in Scotland now...’ his voice trailed

off like smoke from a freshly extinguished match. We all fell silent. All, save Ed. New Man started off with Robbie and Lyam singing Nina over the top- it would seem Ed is repeating himself. It’s not

punchy, nobody rated it. The remaining tracks are overrun by the nostalgia of how good Tennis Court was, Lorde had captured our hearts. By this point we all had Sheeran fatigue, half of these tracks

don’t need to be on the album and only half of the other half are worth listening to, let alone worth mentioning in this review.

Robbie sent Sarah a message. He had to explain what happened all those years ago. He needed to tell her how he feel. He’s not scared any more. Divide not great. It’s got a whole lot of filler in it.

The standard album ended after 12 tracks, closing on an ode to Ed’s grandmother (Supermarket

Flowers) and all we could say is that were glad she died before being subjected to it. The deluxe edition continued for another four tracks, none of which needed to be released at all. The album

should have been the first four songs as singles, and then Ed should have crawled away to the stu-

dio and put some actual effort into his work. The thing with Divide is that it takes no risks, it offers

nothing new, and it fails to deliver classic Ed Sheeran to the same standard as his previous work. It’s fucking boring, but then again it doesn’t matter. If you’re a fan of Ed, chances are you’ll like this album anyway so who gives a shit what we say? He’s already made his money off of it, because his

name sells albums and there is an undeniable appeal when it comes to generic, unspecific, broadly

inoffensive, syrupy, boring bullshit. And next time round we will all line up to buy the next one of his shitty records. ♦

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Arotakenga — Reviews

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Broforce is a 2D shooter inspired by action movies and heroes of the 80s. When I say inspired, I mean Broforce has an intense, almost sexual love for the glory days of action movies, and features over 30 iconic characters as playable characters, including the Terminator, Judge Dredd and that one character that gave birth to the ‘Chuck Norris can do anything’ meme. The aim of the game? The bros (who all have copyright-friendly, bro-themed names like ‘Brobocop’ and ‘Rambro’) have been tasked by the President of the United States to defeat terrorism, and ultimately punch Satan in the face so hard he explodes. This game is more American than bald eagles and Carl’s Jr combined. The gameplay is gruelingly difficult at times, but the payoff is well worth the trouble, as you fight through hordes of non-descript terrorist, alien and demon baddies, unlocking more bros along the way to aid you in your quest

Video Game Arotakenga Tākoro Ataata Broforce (2017) - Free Lives

to defeat Satan. There is nothing more exhilarating than running through enemies as Mr Anderbro from The Matrix or mutilating them with a chainsaw as Evil Dead’s Ash Brolliams. Yes, the names and puns are awful. This game, however, is a fucking masterpiece. ♦

Conor Maxwell

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

Alrighty, plot: group of vigilante hackers launches cyber-attack on global conglomerate in order to absolutely destroy the economy and wipe humanities debt. Boom that’s all you need. This show is an excellent combination of fourth wall breaking, edgy as fuck social commentary and nods and references to cinema and television. The creator of this show has openly acknowledged ripping off every film and TV show that he holds dear. But instead of coming across ripped off, this collage of references does something amazing. One of this show's biggest influences is… Actually fuck, don’t worry about that, that’ll ruin the whole thing. Regardless, Mr. Robot is thematically intertwined with the pieces that it references and it just works. The framing of this show is also refreshing and I am personally all about that shit. It’s not some-

TV Show Arotakenga Whakaaturanga Mr. Robot (2015) - Sam Esmail Troy Anderson

thing most would usually notice, but you pick up on it intuitively, it keeps your mind interested because you can feel that visual difference from every other TV show. Mr. Robot has concluded its second season so there are only about 20 or so hours to binge, but it can be easily powered out over a weekend. I cannot possibly go into all the reasons why you should watch this, just go and do it. ♦

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

Entertainment — Whakangahau

Please Don’t Quote Me “But also fuck you I love you but also fuck you.” — Calvin Harris has a love-hate relationship with hummus.

“How the fuck did that happen?”

— Ed Sheeran doesn’t know how his trash album climbed the charts.

“So whatever story they told . . . I'm not sure what happened.” — We’ve all made that excuse before, Emma Stone.

“And remember. It's not that important. I mean seriously. Skip it.” — Chris Pratt recommends not doing your first assignment.

What’s Hot

What’s Not

Occasionally being able to wear your favourite jacket

Torrential rain

Not constantly being a sweaty mess

Humidity

Enrolling to vote ♥

THIS FUCKING WEATHER

Crush of the Week — Judy Bailey Judes is a woman who knows what she wants and how to take control. Calling her a MILF becomes a bit shady when she’s literally been given the title of Mother of New Zealand, but she’s definitely doing well for her age. After her final hurrah on ONE News in 2005 with a New Zealand Order of Merit Officer title under her belt and a career spanning over three decades, she settled down to live the simple life. She reappeared in 2009 to lend her face and support to the “Vote Yes” campaign for the corporal punishment referendum, which takes some moxie, even if it is a bit fucked up. 17

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ENTERTAINMENT

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Wheako Tauira â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Student Experience

NEXUS MAGAZINE

MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN 2017

The WSU is doing big things this year, making sure it is there for you whether you need support, want to make the most of your student experience or just want your voice heard. We are looking for a confident person who wants to fill a vacancy on the board and help us realise the vision of our new strategic plan.

FOR MORE INFORMATION EMAIL MANAGER@WSU.ORG.NZ APPLICATIONS CLOSE FRIDAY 24TH MARCH

WAIKATO UNIVERSITY SCIENCE STUDENTS ASSOCIATION GUEST SPEAKER EVENT Come along and hear top scientists from the industry showcase some of their work, followed by the opportunity for networking and nibbles. Anyone interested in science is welcome to come along!

WITH MORE SPEAKERS TO BE CONFIRMED 23rd March 2017, 5.45 - 8:30pm, S.G.01 Check out the WUSSA Facebook page for further information

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AUTEUR HOUSE Aho Whakaari â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Auteur House

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Old Buggers Richard Swainson

Who are the filmmakers who made works of significance past their

80th birthday? Here are 10 examples of geriatric directors who could still cut the proverbial mustard:

10. A Prairie Home Companion (2006, Robert Altman). 81 year old Alt-

man bowed out with a witty and typically free ranging ensemble piece about death, set against the backdrop of America's iconic live radio show.

9. Wild Grass (2009, Alain Resnais) 87 year old Alain Resnais confused and delighted in equal measure with this surrealistic ro-

mance, visually impressive and energetically paced, if challenging in terms of plot and meaning.

8. Iris (2014, Albert Maysles) The penultimate documentary of 88 year

old Maysles, released shortly after his death, proved both a critical and popular hit. A profile of the fashion icon and socialite Iris Apfel, herself a feisty 93 year old.

7. The Dead (1987, John Huston). 81 year old Huston directed this

lyrical adaptation of James Joyce from a wheelchair, whilst himself dying of emphysema, a perfect match of interpretative artist and material.

6. American Sniper (2014, Clint Eastwood). At age 84 Clint Eastwood enjoyed the biggest commercial success of his career. The flag waving finale aside, a moving study of the effects of war on the human psyche.

5. Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007, Sidney Lumet). A sad and

nasty neo noir, one that begins with a memorable sex scene and

doesn't skimp on the violence. Brilliantly performed, as the last film of an 83 year old actor's director should be.

4. Coeurs/Private Fears in Public Places (2006, Alain Resnais). A multi character romance, shot entirely on a sound stage, the artifice foregrounded and turned into a strength. Sexy and funny.

3. Saraband (2003, Ingmar Bergman). 21 years after officially "retiring"

from the cinema Bergman returned at age 85 with a semi-sequel to his 1973 sensation Scenes from a Marriage. The great auteur had lost none of his powers.

2. Madadayo (1993, Akira Kurosawa). A wonderfully warm and wise comedy about the relationship between a retired teacher and his former students. 83 year old Kurosawa had never before demonstrated such subtlety.

1. A Tale of the Wind (1988, Joris Ivens). 90 year old documentarian

Ivens spent four years filming and refining this masterpiece, a blend of fact and fantasy that reflects on his own life and career, asking the biggest questions with the lightest touch. â&#x2122;Ś

Photography by Nikkole Lulu thengraphics.com nikkole.lulu@gmail.com Instagram: @nikkolodeonx KEEN ON CONTRIBUTING ARTWORK FOR OUR COVER AND CENTREFOLD? EMAIL DESIGN@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

Humble Abodes — Whakaruruhau

HUMBLE

NEXUS MAGAZINE

King James’ Palace Part 1 This quaint lil cottage is home to four girls who seem to actually have their life together, so much so that they’ve got a dog; a handsome and most gracious host, who was more than obliging to pose for photos. The house was scarily clean, so clean we wondered if maybe they’d just sterilised post-occult ritual or were preparing for an open home. Flat inspections would pass with flying colours. Nonetheless, we were charmed by the delightful white girl details and friendly occupants, one of which greeted us at the door post-fake tanning session, wearing a leopard print onesie. ♦ WANT YOUR FLAT FEATURED? SEND AN EMAIL TO EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

ABODES

Whakaruruhau â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Humble Abodes

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Full Exposure — Mārakerake

When Lyam told us he was going to interview ‘Crywank’ we thought he was going to give us a tasteful insight into his Tuesday nights. Thankfully, it turned out to be an actual indie band. Fun game: snap us how many times the phrase “cry wank” is used in the magazine this week.

HOW’D YOU END UP DEFINED AS ‘ANTI-FOLK’? ARE YOU ABLE TO DESCRIBE WHAT THIS ACTUALLY IS? I mean anti-folk is something with a traceable starting place. The acoustic musicians who would get rejected from the established folk venues in Greenwich Village for straying too far away from genre conventions or being too experimental. It's not a direct attack on folk music, both me and Dan love folk music, but the way I play guitar and approached Crywank certainly separates us from a ‘folk’ definition. We get asked a lot about it, despite it not being a term I take too seriously though. I just sort of see myself as someone who writes and plays songs on a guitar. I think the outsider nature of the first couple of releases, the self-releasing and lyrical focus all added to us becoming more attached to the genre though. IS YOUR MUSIC AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF HOW YOU GENERALLY FEEL? No not all, they’re snapshots of moments. Perhaps it relates to returning temperaments, but I’d like to think that despite my music having a focus on sadness and mental health that it is varied within its tone. Some people expect me to come across as some Elliott Smith type. I can be really gregarious though, I am very silly and a total show-off. I’m surprised people project some sort of tameness on to me considering the band name and some of the weirder songs we've written. I fluctuate a lot emotionally, I think the band certainly comes from an honest place, but I do fear it becoming the case where certain songs become something defining and definite in regards to how people view me. SONGS SUCH AS ‘I AM IN GREAT PAIN, PLEASE HELP ME’, ‘NOW I’M SAD (BOO HOO), ‘IT’S OK I WOULDN’T REMEMBER ME EITHER’ AND ‘SQUEEZING THE DAMP TEA TOWEL TO ITS FINAL FEW DRIPS’ ARE FULL OF RAW EMOTION, DO YOU NEED SOMEONE TO HOLD YOUR HAND? IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT, I’M HERE FOR YOU. The songs themselves are a release, I’m fortunate enough to have a strong support network of friends. Hand holding is always appreciated though, but I warn you I’ll probably end up over-analysing it until I think it resembles something more significant when it really just comes from a place of pity. Also in regards to a lot of my songs, I'm also unfortunately quite confident that some are my fault. WHAT WAS YOUR MUSICAL BACKGROUND PRIOR TO CRYWANK? I didn't really have a musical background before the band. I did sing in a band whilst I was in high school, who were a sort of cheesy sounding band who wanted to be ‘Art Brut’, which I would rather people not be

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Mārakerake — Full Exposure

NEXUS MAGAZINE

aware of. I don’t think the recordings are online any more though for-

String Band, Exuma, Comus, Sibylle Baier, Labi Siffre and Iva Bittova

tunately. Crywank was my first real attempt at making music. Dan had

where all big inspirations. Lyrically I also really admire Noname, Cocaine

been in a lot of bands before Crywank. He’s a super talented drummer

Piss and Aesop Rock. A lot of different influence goes into Crywank so

so he was pretty in demand. He’s been in a few metal and hardcore

I'd likely just be ranting for ages. Recently I’d say there has been a lot of

bands. The one I really think Crywank fans should check out is Brown

obvious influence from acts like This Heat, The Urinals, Thinking Fellas

Orange Blue though.

Union Local 282, Joyce Delaney and Pere Ubu.

It’s sort of like an afro-beat Pet Shop Boys with introspective lyrics through the lense of Jon Brion. It came out too soon and was based

CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOUR EX IN THE FORM OF A HAIKU?

in Blackburn (they’d have gotten huge if they’d been a London band in

fucked up just like me

2014). Their album Knowsley and Mercer is one of my all time favourites.

kind and insecure artist

Dan also used to do some solo spoken word songs which are great.

they deserved much more

Hopefully Dan will have a few songs which he leads vocally and lyrically on future releases. He’s really involved with the band and it’s direction

ARE YOU ABLE TO GIVE US THE INSIDE SCOOP ON SOME OF THE

and every idea I have goes through him, but I’m very aware that because

EVENTS WHICH RESULTED IN THE CREATION OF THESE TRACKS?

of the history of the band a lot of people attach the Crywank name

Me being an entitled fool who thinks that I have the right to be able

exclusively to me. Also I’m an internet lifestyle idiot, where Dan tries to

to write about other people, and when the focus is entirely on myself,

avoid looking at screens too much so he’s less in your face about his

thinks that me simply venting my inner-frustrations with being stuck

projected thoughts and identity.

inside my own head is in some way interesting. Not really an event, more so a mindset which has persisted for the past seven years.

WERE YOU HUGGED ENOUGH WHILE GROWING UP?

I’d love to edit my past into a more interesting narrative, but I don't

I think I was. I like that so many people seem to want to hug me

know how fair that is on other people, or how much I really want to

now. Usually people do it after I play shows and I am sweaty and smelly

share. In short, most of the events are just me sucking or being a bad

though and it makes me feel a bit gross. I’m not complaining though, I

person. It’s interesting because I can sing about how fucked up and

like having hugs. When I’m around friends I get a nice bit of affection

inherently awful I am and people often just get in touch to tell me how

but sometimes when I’m travelling alone I can go a whole few weeks

nice I am. It makes me feel very fake, like I am horribly misrepresenting

without any physical affection or even deep conversation.

myself somehow. Sometimes I think I should hide from every social

I’d love it if one day I could meet people who just wanted to travel around with me and I was part of a big fun gang. You have to give up a

interaction because anybody who inevitably gets close to me will in someway be scorned. ♦

lot to get that freedom though. WHAT ARTISTS WOULD YOU GIVE CREDIT FOR AS INSPIRATION IN YOUR WORK? Oh wow, there is a lot. I mean Crywank has been a project for seven years and we've done four albums so it feels like different influences at different points. Outside of music I took a lot of inspiration from Chris Ware, Pedro Almodovar and Faith & John Hubley. Within music it was musicians like Connie Converse, Wild Man Larry Fischer, Paul Baribeau, Hop Along Queen Ansleis, AJJ & Foot Ox who inspired me to pick up an instrument. Even before this though my favourite musicians where Sufjan Stevens, Blue Roses, Okkervil River, Modest Mouse and the Mountain Goats. Dan introduced me to a lot of musicians who inspired me a lot. Problematic to admit but I really enjoyed Charles Manson's music. Incredible

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Student Experience — Wheako Tauira

Club Spotlight: Volume on Campus Matt Rae and Jacob Tait For improved reading experience, this segment must be read aloud in your best radio announcer voice. Preferably in a crowded space, while awkwardly holding a banana. Maybe not a banana, they’re going extinct. Seven students from all over the globe came together to found ‘The Volume Collective’. Way back in 2015 the Collective started with a singular dream, to upset the balance of the Waikato music and arts scene. Shortly after starting, they found they were starting to piss off a lot of people, one of the signs it was working. The issue at the time was that there was no place within Hamilton or even on campus to express themselves. Out of sheer frustration, the student run enterprise was born, unravelling the fabric of a grandfathered system by offering filming and recording for free, then throwing in gigs involving other students and local Hamiltonians. Now those pesky kids (there’s a lot more of us now) have figured out a way to inject music and art of all forms into student life and Hamilton where they see the opportunity. This group of miscreants fund their activities by recording and running events for the musicians who are on a budget, as well as promoting local art types and events. Several members of the Collective have gone on to run the sound desk for huge events around the country. These lovable scamps do as much as they can to help other organisations like Nivara Lounge, Hamilton Underground Press and Tron Music Trust. Getting involved in as many conferences and symposiums as they can, it ensures students have the opportunity to network with significant figures in the industry. Students that are involved with the Volume Collective or Volume on Campus get free guitar lessons and access to experiences like underground gigs and secret international shows. Located at the Fridge Recording Studio in the Cowshed on campus the Volume Collective sports an open door policy. So stop on by and listen to some awesome local shit recorded right here on campus or in basements near you. If you want to see more of what we do pop on into the studio or come along to the local punk and hardcore festival, HamTown Smakdown at ZEAL on March 24th and 25th. That, or you could follow us on Facebook and enjoy the fruits of our labour from the comfort of your own home, it's almost as good as being there (not really). ♦

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Wheako Tauira — Student Experience

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Kaydi O'Connor-Stratton — Canoe Slalom WHAT MOTIVATES YOU TO PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN BARRIER? The knowledge that it will be worth it. That what you do today makes tomorrow easier. WHAT IS YOUR HARDEST SESSION? Hmmm my hardest session physically would be flatwater sprinting 20 X 1minute on 1 minute off X2 (Canoe Slalom sports specific). However, my hardest mental session would be swimming because I think too much and all you can do while swimming is think. I just hate swimming. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORTSWEAR TO WORK OUT IN AND WHY? I love the shorts you get from The Warehouse with the coloured spandex underneath. I love them because they're really comfortable to wear but also give you the comfort that your butt is covered. HOW MUCH DOES IT COST (A YEAR) TO COMPETE IN YOUR SPORT? Ahh what a question. Far too much! I can't even put a number on this. All I'll tell you is my kayak is worth more than my car. WHAT IS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE (PERSONAL) SPORTING MOMENT? My most memorable sporting moment was racing at Worlds in 2016. I remember getting back to the team tent and checking my phone. I had messages from my brother, he told me how proud he was of me, what I did well and advice for my next run. It's a rare thing to have my brother and I in the same country so it was lovely to know that he was supporting me from U.S.A while I was in Poland. HAVE YOU EVER FAILED? AND IF SO HOW DID YOU GET OVER IT?

Hillary Scholar Profiles Ellie McCleery — Athletics

I have failed so many times, I don't have enough fingers and toes to count. I don't believe in failure, I believe in lessons. Everything I have failed at has taught me a lesson. I think you can't dwell on anything. There isn't any point. It's nice to talk to friends or in my case my mum. She always helps me understand that things happen for a reason, all you can do is learn and move on. ♦

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU TO PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN BARRIER? Success. Team mates. The Climb – Miley Cyrus. WHAT IS YOUR HARDEST SESSION? Hill Running – check out the hill at the entrance to the Hamilton Lake if you are looking for a challenge! WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORTSWEAR TO WORK OUT IN AND WHY? It doesn’t get much better than Lululemon, but on a student budget Kmart gear will do the trick. HOW MUCH DOES IT COST (A YEAR) TO COMPETE IN YOUR SPORT? Too much! WHAT IS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE (PERSONAL) SPORTING MOMENT? 400m Gold – National Track And Field Champs HAVE YOU EVER FAILED? AND IF SO HOW DID YOU GET OVER IT? Failure never comes easy. My only advice would be to indulge in good food with good mates. After that, set new goals and find new inspirations. 28

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Student Experience — Wheako Tauira

Netflix Hit List Being a university student is all about shirking responsibility and avoiding reality, so to help you on your journey of self-deprecation, we’ve compiled a list of all the Netflix shows you could be binge-watching instead of working on assignments. BROOKLYN NINE-NINE For anyone in need of some light relief as we descend further into the clusterfuck that is 2017, Brooklyn Nine-Nine is the show for you. Following the antics of the laughable yet loveable Detective Jake Peralta and his equally endearing colleagues at the 99th Police Precinct, every single episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine is 20 minutes of pure uplifting hilarity. As an added bonus, the super short running time means you can binge to your heart’s content without feeling too guilty. HOUSE OF CARDS Considering the current political climate in the US and beyond, it’d be hard not to include House of Cards. With Kevin Spacey starring as Frank Underwood, a power-hungry Democratic Congressman, this Netflix original series follows Frank’s ravenous rise to power, while alluding to the conniving and corrupt nature of US politics along the way. Spacey’s constant breaking of the fourth wall makes you feel complicit in his actions, which are so sick and twisted they’d almost be funny, if we weren’t seeing them being reflected back to us in the existence of another immoral US figurehead with a receding hairline. PEAKY BLINDERS If you want to see people have their eyes slashed by razor blades, this is the show for you. Set in Birmingham in the ‘20s, it follows the exploits of the notorious Peaky Blinder gang. Between the violence, romance and killer soundtrack, you’ll find something for everyone (except for the faint-hearted). AUDRIE AND DAISY A must watch for any documentary lovers, Audrie and Daisy outlines the heart-breaking and infuriating consequences that two young women and their families face following their sexual assaults. Exploring the alienation and abuse that they endured at the hands of both their initial attackers and the citizens in their American hometowns, Audrie and Daisy is a hard-hitting look into the way that society treats survivors of sexual assault. I would applaud you if you can make it through without feeling utterly disheartened and angry with the world, but that probably just means you have no soul. SKINS Having missed out on watching Skins during my high school years, getting into it last year was pure nostalgia. It’s gritty and believable, with characters you wish you were friends with. Give this one a chance to grow on you, believe me when I say it will. ♦

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Yam & Troy the Science Boys Ding’n Definitely not a cop When wandering from ye olde bus depot after arriving in H-town, I

results in having a pleasurable time for a few hours. The release of

came across a homeless bloke. That’s wildly inaccurate, a homeless

these neurotransmitters is typically larger than in any other instance

bloke came across me, for that is the way it happens. He relayed his

you’re likely to come across that isn’t frowned upon by the law, which

tale to me, he was hungry and had been living on the street the last

is a shame because it does mean that you’ll never feel this good legally.

few weeks. It looked a lot more than a few weeks. I was marginally

Following this dump however, these reserves need time to be built up

sympathetic to this, had a bit of cash and told him “let’s put a stop to

again, so any attempts to feel good whether that be engaging in more

that”. After giving him a tenner, I realised it would likely end up in the

drugs, eating, or smashing one out by yourself or with a partner (or

pockets of the nearest drug dealer. I can only hope that this hypo-

several, that’s cool too), it simply won’t be as good. This is the danger

thetical dealer gives him something a little more exciting than the

zone, where addiction happens. This isn’t only the case for drug use,

local greenery. Molly?

it’s generally true for anything we associate with pleasure and reward.

Dopamine and serotonin are fucking sweet. We all like feeling fucking

Creating or having imbalances in dopamine regulation is what causes

sweet, and these little doozies are neurotransmitters that contribute to

many addictions. These imbalances are typically hereditary and make

this. Neurotransmitters affect the intensity of signals sent between

you more prone to addiction. For example if your dad smashes back a

neurons. Essentially what this means is if you have more of it, the sig-

twelve box of Häagen each and every night, you’re likely more at risk of

nals are stronger. The sense of feeling within the body is more intense

addiction. It’s not your fault though, just make sure to be smart about

and you, as a result, will feel the aforementioned fucking sweet feeling.

managing it.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I’ve seen too many hectics take

Probably worth noting that lower levels of serotonin have been

it overboard. We’ll get to that. These transmitters do also have some

thought to increase libido. This might explain the unusually high

other pretty notable functions. We will not be talking about these here,

amount of cry-wanks you’ve been having post drug use/having a shit

but I swear we are making attempts to catapult this magazine into the

time at life. ♦

stratosphere of the wholesome. Pingaz and You: When dropping, racking up or otherwise engaging in the consumption of MDMA, your brain dumps a huge amount of serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. This fills your synaptic gaps and

N.04 / V.49

Maramara Kōrero — Columns

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Cooked Cooking Cold and Lazy Aunty Kumara INGREDIENTS: • Can of Watties, tomato flavoured “Soup for One”

you’re genuinely smiling, desperately try to remember

• 2 slices of bread

how it felt to feel. Briefly transcend to an abstract realm

• Butter

where you’re slightly less numb to the emotional journey

• An intense lack of motivation in every aspect of your life

of life, reach out to grasp what you’ve been yearning for

• Cutlery (optional)

all this time.

• Cheese • Desperate longing for human interaction • More cheese • Torrential rain (in your heart and on the pavement) • Less than 20% charge on your phone METHOD: 1. Momentarily cease to exist. 2. Allow your body to enter autopilot as it searches for nutrition. 3. Regain the majority of consciousness as you awaken in the kitchen. 4. Butter your bread. 5. Empty your can of soup into a bowl and microwave it for 2 mins. 6. Scroll through your phone, look back at photos from a time when you were happy.

10. Be pulled back to reality from the soft thud of dropping the cheesy buttered bread. 11. Cook your toastie. 12. Abolish the structural integrity of your sandwich by drowning it in tomato soup. 13. As you go to take your first bite of the meal you’re momentarily blinded, instead of writhing in an attempt to regain your vision you calmly embrace the lack of sight in the hope that you’re about to be born again, a chance to remedy all the mistakes that led you to this point in your life. 14. Blink. 15. Realise it was just the sun. 16. Come to the realisation that soup is too hot for this stupid weather. ♦

7. Heat up a pan or a toasted sandwich maker. 8. Slice your cheese and put it on the non-buttered sides of the bread. 9. Enter a moment of bliss as you find a photo where

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Pass the AUX Playlist_03 Jacqui Swney Back with your bi-weekly dose of songs that you may or may

intense start to this song gradually builds to an insanely dirty

not actually take the time to look up, these tracks are great

drop that slays me every time. Literally drop to the floor con-

for when you want to sit alone in your room wallowing in the

vulsing good. Not much else I can say about this one, except

fact that you didn’t go to Peking Duk and subsequently feel

give it a little listen (or a big one if you prefer).

like a less cultured bystander in comparison to the rest of your Hamiltonian comrades. Give these a listen, they go great

FUCK DONALD TRUMP PT. 2, YG

with pessimism and self-pity. Might even cheer you up (but

YG has been around for years, killing it with classics like

then again maybe not).

“Twist My Fingas” and “Who Do Ya Love?”. Apart from his cliche (but super fantastic) rap songs that repeatedly utilize a

DOMO23, TYLER THE CREATOR

word which I would probably get in trouble for adding to this

If you don’t think Tyler the Creator is one of the finest young

sentence, YG is a resident Bompton baddie with some hella

men to grace the face of the planet, allow me give you a lit-

political lyrics. FDT addresses every feeling any sane person

tle convincing. Sure, the dude may have anger issues, and he

has ever had about our favourite orange-skinned tiny-handed

may shout obscene things about people’s mothers directly

Nazi president. AND there's two parts to his genius, give Part

into their unprepared faces, but he maintains a level of crazy

1 a listen so you know what you’re getting into. But next elec-

that people can respect. Every word in this insanely high en-

tion day, better believe my liberal American amigos are going

ergy song reflects his persona and I actually shout every word

to roll up to the election booth blasting “Fuck Donald Trump”. ♦

and pretend I’m as cool as he is. Shout out to the New Zealand Government for banning him from entering the country, really appreciate everything you guys do for me. FALL IN LOVE (MOODY GOOD REMIX), SLUM VILLAGE On a slightly more mellow note, Moody Good has provided the goods with this one. The quiet, but super intriguing and

N.04 / V.49

Maramara Kōrero — Columns

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Opinionated Unplugged Jean Balchin Dear Diary,

to wander, wonder and explore, I’ve begun to actually create things, to

It’s the 44th consecutive day of having no internet at the flat, and

be active, to read novels and practice the piano, rather than being

I’ve started talking to myself. My flatmate Rosie is rocking back and

sucked into a mindless, never-ending vortex of doge memes, Netflix

forth in the corner, and there are long scratch marks gouged into the

and random Wikipedia pages.

walls of our living room. The very concept of putting pen to paper feels

I’ve written countless diary entries, and mocked-up numerous arti-

surreal – is ink actually flowing from this pen to this page? Are my

cles. Besides hand-cramps, this writing has helped with my articulation

words actually materially manifesting themselves? Will they never frol-

and penmanship. Without the bright glow of the laptop screen draining

ic in the freedom of the world wide web?

my melatonin supply, I’ve slept as well as my chubby baby brother. I’ve also strengthened friendships with my flatmates and friends. Instead

As you can tell, the lack of internet at my humble abode has had no

of bonding over shitposts and awful reality TV shows, we’ve resorted to

small effect on yours truly. I’ve sworn vociferously and paced relentless-

playing board games (you’d be surprised how fun Twister can be after

ly around my bedroom, fantasising about scrolling through Facebook

half a bottle of tequila). I’d like to say that I’ve become more physically

or binge-watching Breaking Bad (yes, I’m behind the times, I know). I’ve

active, but anyone who’s met me knows how improbable that sounds.

glared daggers at my hapless flatmate Marcus for not getting off his

And finally, I’ve devoured about half my personal library and re-read the

arse and sorting out the internet sooner. I’ve invited myself over to my

entire Harry Potter series.

poor friend Jack’s house countless times to leech his WiFi and I’ve got

Unplugging from the hive mind of the internet has been a trying

into the habit of staying late in the office, just to catch up on the latest

experience, but undoubtedly beneficial. Let’s be honest though, the

antics of Justin and Gem-Gem. The horror.

second WiFi finally comes on at our flat, I’ll be gleefully chuckling at

Yet, it’s not all doom and gloom. Cutting oneself off from the sapping influence of social media and the ever-present lure of memes can

Classical Art memes, stalking my lecture crush, and taking the perfect selfie for Instagram. ♦

actually be rather beneficial to one’s productivity and leisure. If you can battle past the withdrawal symptoms (including opening the Instagram app on your phone and staring dolefully at the ‘Couldn’t load image. Tap to retry’ message), you’ll be pleasantly surprised. With a mind free

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Tinder Tales Chemistry 112 Anonymous THIS WEEK IS A SPECIAL GRINDR EDITION. SEND YOUR TINDER HORROR STORIES TO TINDER@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ METH ROGEN 19 / M / GAY

After a long night hoeing it up in town, I decided to hit up a guy on

on sussing some sweet ass and meth from the dickpointment. In the

Grindr. I walked into the dickpointment's apartment, only to find one of

lobby, they tried to convince me to stay, obviously having seen a picture

his flatmates in the lounge. Fully naked and fully erect. I decided to roll

of me prior. Again, I declined, and galloped out into the night. I was...

with the punches, and just leave him to do his own thing. Upon entering

flattered; but then again it's not as if meth heads are known for having

this man's room, he nonchalantly presents me with a pipe. "No ma'am,

good judgement. In hindsight, spending $28 on a ride home didn't seem

not today," I thought.

so bad, when the alternative was pashing a meth mouth and tonguing

I told him that I stay away from drugs (like the responsible young adult I am) and he obliged, putting away the pipe. To my surprise, he then proceeded to inform me that he had invited two other guys over to join us. I was told that they would arrive any minute. The dickpointment gave me a full scenario briefing, explaining that there would be a lot of tapping in and out between all of us. He also noted that they too were meth heads. At this point the sinking realisation hit me that I was going to die. Nothing good ever happens at a meth house at 4 o'clock in the morning. It was safe to say that I was shook. I gracefully declined his plans, and whisked myself and my belongings out the door. As a final cherry on the cake that was an absolute mess of a night, I am stopped on my way out by two men. Coincidentally, they were the two men that were planning

N.04 / V.49

those black stubby teeth. Pick your grindr hook ups wisely, friends. ♦

Maramara Kōrero — Columns

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Darts & Crafts Spunky Speakers Emily Reid Speakers are an absolute essential for any self-respecting flat party host. Unfortunately leaving your pride and joy within reach of grimy, angry party-goers may leave them a little worse for wear. In Part 3 of our craft series, we’ll teach you how to spruce up your tune boxes and give your living space the ol’ razzle dazzle. MATERIALS: Get together some shitty looking speakers, a fairly functioning hot glue gun, an amount of funky sheer material, your favourite paint and a trusty brush to go with it. HOW TO CRAFT: 1. Assemble the necessities. 2. Take the foamy looking black bit off the front of your speakers. 3. Cut your material to size and cover the foamy looking black bits with it, securing at the back with hot glue. 4. With the paintbrush, slather the speakers in your desired paint color, hopefully avoiding any important technical areas. 5. Once they’re dry, replace the no longer foamy and black looking bits. 6. Hook those bad boys up and play some heckin’ bangers. ♦

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALESSANDRA TANE INSTAGRAM: @ALESSANDRAROSETTA

13 14

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

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Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snapchat each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB. 38

THE MOVIES AREN’T DIFFERENT, BUT WE SURE ARE. METRO MOVIE QUIZ: WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE PRINCESS FROM THE PRINCESS BRIDE? SPLIT IS A SIDEQUEL TO WHAT OTHER M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN? WHICH COMIC BOOK MOVIE CHARACTER WAS FIRST SEEN IN NEW MUTANTS #98 - 25 YEARS BEFORE THE CHARACTERS STAND ALONE FILM?

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS: JURASSIC PARK, LOGAN AND PARIS, FRANCE.

NO TEXTING, NO TWEETING, NO DISTURBANCES. 56 WARD STREET.

He aru makau — Blind Date

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Blind–

Brought to you by House on Hood Street. Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection. If you're keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz Well known for his flowing locks and love of “cutting the boys’ lunch”. He is a freakish talent on the beer pong table and has stolen at least 17 of his mate’s girlfriends. She is a nursing student and a part-time model with pierced nipples. How edgy. She’s also a fan of The Bachelor. Will she receive a rose? SHE SAID:

HE SAID:

As I straightened my hair, I thought to myself,

There's no better way to go to a blind date than

“wow… I look great”. My friends told me my

to be half cut and sweaty thanks to Scrumpy.

date was spicy, and I didn’t know if this meant

Going into the date with no expectations, I fig-

he was sexy or if he was an Indian, I didn’t mind

ured I would pull the typical dick head move,

either way – both would have been better.

which was to make her keen on me then prob-

When I arrived, I sat at the table twiddling

ably ignore her for days just hoping like hell

my thumbs in anticipation, when I saw a 6 ft

that I hadn't already fucked her. I imagined my

4 hunk with tattoos walk in I couldn’t help but

date to have long hair to match mine, although

tingle all over. His hair was long and luscious

mine would definitely smell way better. The

like a waterfall, similar to the one in my panties.

flatties dropped me off as I planned on taking

We already knew each other, last year my

advantage of the tab. As I walked in I saw the

friend egged his house because of his flat-

bartender I see every single weekend, we both

mate. So we got off to a good start with some

nodded while I looked for my date. Turned out,

drinks and a few shots of tequila. I’m a classy

it was the hot little thing herself. Sitting at the

gal but that wasn’t stopping me from buying

table, I knew she was checking out my big feet

some ribs and devouring them with my bare

because you know what they say about big

hands, by this point I was sure he was horri-

feet...big hands. A couple of beverages into it,

fied, he was rather tipsy when he arrived so

she ordered pork ribs which she went on to de-

he was busy admiring the deer above my head

vour, and damn she sucked the meat right off

and picking its nose.

those bones ultimately leaving me with a semi.

We cleaned up the bar tab with some te-

I couldn't get over how goddamn good

quila shots and made it home to get straight

looking she really was or maybe it was the

into a no pants party, I didn’t wear a bra for a

Scrumpy goggles. I legged it to the loo to do

reason ya’ll. I said to him the three words every

a sly package check to make sure it was all

man wants to hear…

go. The yarns were good until she got too lit

“Tie me up”

and started cuddling her boss. Finally got her

So we got out the whipped cream and oil

to come back to the pad, while she was DJ half

and got to business.

tracking the whole way with a playlist worthy

Date

of The Hood. I don't know if it was the scrumpy that let me down but she beat me and the boys at beer pong and made us take our pants off, not complaining, yeah the boys.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Puzzles — Panga

Horoscopes ARIES: MARCH 21 — APRIL 19

LIBRA: SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22

This week you are not in Australia, but I am, and I really can’t be

Remember, sex is a two or more person exercise. If you’re solely

fucked. Take some responsibility for your life instead of letting me

out to get laid this week, you might as well save yourself the trip

and the stars do it, be a part of the solution.

and just do it yourself, whoever you’re fucking is a person too.

TAURUS: APRIL 20 — MAY 20

SCORPIO: OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21

Generosity is key this week, so give someone in need a bit of

Keep yourself out of trouble in the workplace, because this might

a boost. Sure, they’ll probably spend that tip on drugs, but you

just be the week the boss calls you into the office with a loaded

can’t tell me you weren’t thinking about it.

handgun sitting on their desk.

GEMINI: MAY 21 — JUNE 20

SAGITTARIUS: NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21

Eggplants contain nicotine. However, the stars predict it’s too

If you are looking for the WSU’s Vice-President this week, her

soon for eggplant culture, making your chances of bumming an

office should be the last place you check, preceded only by Ant-

eggplant off strange dudes at the bus stop, exceptionally low.

arctica, Bron’s house and the Moon.

CANCER: JUNE 21 — JULY 22

CAPRICORN: DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19

Jupiter is visible this week which is a sign of vulnerability and

If you are having flat altercations that require the Armed Offend-

acceptance. This is great news if you’re a guy because you may

ers Squad’s involvement this early in the year, it may be time to

get an opportunity to experience that fabled prostate orgasm.

find a new place to live.

LEO: JULY 21 — AUGUST 22

AQUARIUS: JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18

Be sure to keep your head up in those rough times this week.

For you, this week is about conservation, which means stop buy-

Remember, you haven’t hit rock bottom if you have a car to sleep

ing cats, can’t you just be content with the other hundreds roam-

in, even if it’s a shitty hatchback with not enough leg room.

ing Hamilton East? There’s plenty to go around.

VIRGO: AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22

PISCES: FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20

This week is a week to embrace the artistic, creative and cultural.

Mercury is not in retrograde at the moment. This week, it is gen-

Go forth and meet some gals at the gal-lery. Sorry, that was aw-

erally inadvisable to run red lights, taunt wild animals or try LSD.

ful, I’m tired, leave me alone.

Crossword

ACROSS 2. One of these kicked up a din in ”The Nickle Nackle

Tree” (8,4) 2

5. A lapel, a summit (4) 6. Jacques Cousteau’s research vessel (7) 8. Deciding the order in which patients are treated (6) 11. Language of Jesus (7)

5 6

12. Office work, relating to the clergy (8) 13. Sixteenth century Christian meeting, Black Cap

7 8

left arm bowler (5) 14. Nineteenth century musical era, expression of love (8)

17. Dromedary cancer (5)

18. Arctic birds, books (7) 12

DOWN 1. Radio Code for “F” (7) 3. All New Zealand racehorses share this birthday 13

(6,5) 4. The highest rank of British peerage outside the Royal Family (4)

7. Funeral music (5) 9. A group of foxes, to cowardly sneak (5) 10. Failed Allied invasion of the Netherlands (6,6) 12. Hannibal Lecter drank this wine with fava

beans and a census taker’s liver (7) 15. “The King” was born here (6) 16. Pop culture magazine, complicated

N.04 / V.49

Panga — Puzzles

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Sudoku 3

5 5

3 9

6 3

8 8

EASY

2 9 6

3 3

9 6

7 7

MEDIUM

DIFFICULT

Wordfind

colour names.

AFICIONADO

KIDNAPPER**

ALFRESCO

LICKETY SPLIT

AUSTRALIAN MINT

NORWESTER

BAKED EARTH

PERSIMMON

BAVARIAN CREAM

PORTOFINO

BLACK WHITE*

PROMENADE

BLUE BAYOUX

RAZZAMATAZZ

BUDDHA GOLD

SOAPSTONE

CLAYPOT

SWISS COFFEE

CRAIGIEBURN

TOFFEE

CUTTY SARK

WEDGEWOOD

DAWN PINK

XOTIC

EDGEWATER

ZUCCHINI

FANDANGO

THEME: Resene’s most pretentious

* Surely they just mean grey? ** Yes, this is actually a Resene colour

Usually When you Get this high Its Illegal

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