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FEATURES 16 Nexus Gets You Wet Erotica Creative Writing Competition
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19 A (is) Ok By 50ShadesofA
20 Sex Shop Interview by Brittany Rose
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19
NEWS & OPINION
ARTS & CULTURE
FUN & GAMES
02
Lettuce
14
Covered
12
Reviews
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Uni News
15
Arts
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Entertainment
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Nexus News
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Auteur
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Snapped
07
Sports
22
Your Space
31
Blind Date
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CARE
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Head Chef
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Puzzles
COLUMNS
ON THE COVER ABIGAIL JENSEN
26
Expectations vs. Reality
26
Half-Baked with Vitamin D
27
Heil Hogan
27
Nerd York Times
28
New Locals
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SAWIT
EDITOR Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan
EDITORIAL THE BIRDS & THE BEES BRITTANY ROSE
lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz DESIGN Olivia Paris
Banging, fucking, rooting, porking, screwing. The way we talk about sex sounds crass, abrasive and — with the exception of ‘making love’
design@nexusmag.co.nz MANAGING EDITOR
— at least a little bit violent. There are less crude terms too, like fornication and copulation,
James Raffan
or ~consummating a relationship~. Then there are the hilarious euphemisms for doing it, such
james@nexusmag.co.nz
as: hanky panky, the vertical tango, bumping uglies. The one I’m most uncomfortable with at this point in my life is ‘making babies’. I mean babies themselves? A+. The concept of
CONTRIBUTORS
growing a human body inside of my uterus? C- at best. I’m terrified of that squishy, swollen,
Grayson Maslin
weak-bladdered concept. What I want to write about for the Sex Issue is the language of sex — and I don’t mean dirty talk. I believe that the way we speak about actions and behaviours generally reflects the ways in which our society conceptualises said actions and behaviours. Some of the ways we conceptualise and speak about sex can be, well… interesting (and this is without touching on the taboos around sex when it’s cast as an unspeakable subject). I went on a word nerd journey through Google’s definitions and synonyms of ‘sex’, and found myself recoiling at the concept of ‘seduction’. Seduction is smooth, subtle, persuasive and maybe a little… coercive? What makes my skin crawl is the normalisation of sex being persuasive and coercive. It’s this
Tom Collopy Freddy Walker Holly Mcleod Jared Wooldridge Abigail Jensen Peter Dornauf Dr. Richard Swainson Onyx Lily Joshua Morris Veronica-Anne Gardner 50ShadesofA Vitamin D
idea that seduction should overwhelm the sensibilities of another; that through sweet talk, close
Kyle Tan
proximity and potent charisma one relinquishes their body to a seducer. I get squirmy at the
Logan Robinson
thought of a seducer’s sexual allure overpowering a seducee (not a word, but stick with me). A
Sarah Hyde
seducee is powerless, weak, and cannot possibly resist temptation — even if it’s not in their best interest. If that doesn’t sound like Bram Stoker’s Dracula manipulating Mina into becoming a sexualised, vampiric version of herself then you obviously haven’t seen the 1931 film. I feel like this conceptualisation of seduction as coercion is icky, because it’s scary. It translates into that one-liner Jocks in movies use on chaste Good Girls — “Come on, you know you want to,” even though everything about her body language screams, “No!”.
COVER Abigail Jensen ADVERTISING advertising@nexusmag.co.nz
I don’t know, maybe I’m just a precious feminist who gets worked up over nothing. Maybe
ONLINE
seduction is a gender neutral endeavour? Maybe I’m inventing a power dynamic and over
facebook.com/nexusNZ
analysing language? Maybe ‘seduction’ is just a word. I don’t know. What I do know is that synonyms of ‘seduce’ include (but are not limited to): ‘tempt’, ‘entice’, ‘lure’, trap’, ‘corrupt’, ‘deprave’, ‘deflower’, ‘dishonour’ and ‘ruin’. Sex shouldn’t start with luring, enticing or persuading someone to let you fuck them. You shouldn’t be trapping your partner, and you shouldn’t feel as though you’re being caught. Go forth and screw, but for fuck’s sake, don’t coerce people into bumping uglies with you.
@nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine OFFICES Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton
ISSUE 15 SEX 1 AUGUST 2016
1
NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce
EW
SLICK MAG
SICKY VICKY
FORMER EDITOR
Cold ridden, snot and flem choked students, USE TISSUES and BLOW
Got my copies of the mag today! Ya better win Best Design this year cos
YOUR NOSES and COVER YOUR MOUTH! There's nothing worse than
shit is looking slick.
sitting next to a sniffing, coughing martyr in a lecture or in the library.
I think you mean we better win Best Design at the ASPAs AGAIN,
Phlegm — the thick viscous substance secreted by the mucous
because Olivia killed it last year too xo, Editor
membranes of the respiratory passages, especially when produced in excessive or abnormal quantities. Flem — not a word, Editor
I DON’T LIKE MONDAYS SAD SACK PACK OF MOANERS DEFENSIVE
POKEMON NO Code cracker is too challenging and I fucked up on it too many times that I had to cheat and copy answers. Monday is a failure and I'm in a class for
Starting rate for Sessional Assistants is $16.25, moving up to $17.86 when
3 hours and can't reach the nearest pokestop.
you have experience. If you are a Tutor on the collective you start on a
Sick of hearing about Pokemon so I’m just going to ignore the rest of
minimum of $19.68. With all the cuts staff face under the new VC any
your comment, Editor
suggestion that Waikato Staff are moaning is nonsense. Nice factual response to the question of whether our lecturers and tutors are sad sack packs of moaners or overworked and underappreciated, thank you, Editor
POST-SHIT HATER Post-it Pokemon is so lame, what are we, 12? Also, challenging the other
LAUNDRO-RANT
Unis is all kinds of cringey.
DIRTY LITTLE SHEET
Fucking preach, Editor
I agree to the days that campus needs a Laundromat, I washed all my sheets at once and had to line up with all the commoners in Hillcrest to dry them. Not ideal.
TIRED & HUNGRY
Thank you for reading the food section of the WSU Vision for Campus
EASY POVO
and honing in on the laundromat suggestion from Buchanan. Good effort, Editor
Your cooking section is not very student-friendly.... Not sure about the reast of ya'll but I can't afford that shit. Also too diffcult. We need easypovo meals. I'm sick of paying my neighbours $5 to join in on their dinners every night. And eating their girlfriend's baking.
FUCK YA
As long as you're not eating their girlfriend... I don't see a problem,
DISGRUNTLED MOTORIST
Editor
If you're on fucking Hogan or Beaumont and someone pulls over so you can get past you best give them a friendly wave. If I pull over and don't get
Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer
some form of polite gesture I probably won't do anything irrational but I
alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions
will be fairly disappointed.
so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in
I’m glad you’re not bottling up your feelings. However, sharing them
Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus
anonymously and bringing totally negative vibes to the magazine is
reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law,
super unnecessary, Editor
is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.
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SEX
News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE
Postgrad student and Hillary Scholar Blaire White has won the Sir Howard
ONYA
VOCAL SCHOLAR
Morrison Vocal Scholarship to study under the guidance of Dame Malvina Major.
LET THE RACE BEGIN The WESMO (Waikato Engineering Society of Motorsport) team are gearing up for the Formula SAE competition in Melbourne this December.
MISS UNIVERSE FINALIST Sport and leisure student Emma Nielsen is one of 20 finalists in the 2016 Miss Universe New Zealand competition.
THE NEW BUZZ Four Waikato graduates have recently started their own business, Inn-Digi, and are developing a product that could change how honeycombs are created.
HITTING THE HIGH NOTES Music student Filipe Manu won second place at the National Lexus
Check it out at www.inn-digi.nz
Song Quest last week. Fellow student Madison Nonoa came third. Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.
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Want a summer job that involves real-
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final and if you’d like yours reviewed,
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submit a Review of Grade application
Check out the $5000 Summer Research
comes to parking. Student parking is in
before Monday 8 August to the Student
Scholarship projects available at
gates 1, 2b, 3a, 3b and 10 — anywhere else
Centre in Hamilton.
waikato.ac.nz/scholarships.
is reserved or staff-only parking, such
Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/reviewofgrade to
Applications close 31 August.
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download an application.
don’t park there. Also, the P150 parks by the Student Centre (gate 5) and Student Health (gate 1) are linked to the blue machines and are pay and display. Visit
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If you need information or advice about
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waikato.ac.nz/go/careers for more info.
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Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE News
NEWS RUNNING FOR COUNCIL INTERVIEWS BY GRAYSON MASLIN
This October the Local Elections will take place — a new Mayor and 12 councilors will be elected. To kick off a focus on local politics we interviewed Her Worship the Mayor Julie Hardaker back in our Politics Issue. She won’t be running again, but it was a lovely chat regardless. A final list of candidate names will be made public in mid-August, but in the meantime we are interviewing candidates who have their posters plastered all over fences. Grayson Maslin is setting out on a journey to see if there’s a candidate who has students’ backs, starting with Ryan Hamilton (East Ward) and Nick Johnston (East Ward).
You have listed on your website that you have a focus on Founders Theatre and city debt, why did you choose to focus on these sectors? Founders is very topical at the moment but the key thing which I was relating to my campaign was that of collaboration. Partnering with other great organisations. Momentum indicating a $20 million support contribution happened after I had started my campaign and was a great illustration of exactly what I was talking about. The debt factor is always relevant in Councils across New Zealand and to ratepayers. Some poor decisions from previous Councils here mean that we currently have more debt than we should and the focus had to go on debt management and not supporting growth so now there is a desperate hurry to catch up. I want to ensure that while we do this we don’t repeat history and get in too deep over our heads and burden the next generation. Hamilton has a large student population, with many of these students living in cold, damp and mouldy houses. How will you make sure that this situation improves? Housing has to meet certain codes from City Council but in cases like you’re describing, the condition would be need to be assessed by a property manager and/or landlord and covered in Acts of Law with Housing and would fall outside of the scope of Council’s ability to help.
RYAN HAMILTON
Many students don’t have their own cars so they rely on public transport to get them to and from University, do you think that public transport is affordable for students? If not what changes would you make? Public transport is already subsidised by our Regional Council and to some extent our Local Council by way of bus shelters etc. If a student is prepared to invest
You’ve lived in Hamilton for a long time now, what makes it the right time for
thousands into a degree via a student loan or other means I think in perspective
you to run for Council?
bus fares are a relatively small amount, so yes affordable. [Editor’s note: Red flag!
It is something I have always been passionate about and now I feel my business is
Ryan confuses debt with disposable income, yet claims to be good with finances]
in a position where it can enable me to contribute to the city in this way. Do you think that there should also be an emphasis on modes of transport You have a background in business and also a large amount of charity work,
other than busses and cars?
do you think this experience would help you give you the edge over the other
I don’t think there is appetite for that at the moment.
candidates and help create a stronger Hamilton? Yes I believe it does. Having started my business with less than $2000 I had to be
Is there anything else in particular you would do to improve the quality of
very resourceful. I know what it means to earn a dollar and appreciate its value.
student life?
When it comes to spending and allocating public money I think this is crucial as
I think the answer to this is big picture. If we focus on building Hamilton and the
it gives the value of each transaction a context. In terms of charity work I don’t
Waikato into a thriving economy by making it attractive for big business here
believe in just giving money away, but in using it in a way which enables others
by continuing to support the likes of North Port and the Ruakura Inland Port etc
to get to a better place — a hand up, not hand out philosophy and in other cases
people spend more, invest more and it raises the standards and lifestyles of the
supporting organisations which already do this and just need more backing time
average Hamiltonian. This will impact student life by way of lifestyle, hospitality,
wise or financially.
education and employment opportunities.
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SEX
News NEXUS MAGAZINE
NICK JOHNSTON
You’ve lived in Hamilton for a long time now, what makes it the right time
who doesn’t own a house, they might be in a rental situation temporarily or they
for you to run for Council?
might be in a long term rental situation, to me, that’s really important, that’s
The timing for me. I think that Hamilton is at quite a crucial stage in its
something that will benefit everybody.
development — it’s a growing city — it’s one that Council’s finances are in much better order than it has been previously in the past six years, and I think it’s the
Many students don’t have their own cars so they rely on public transport
time we have quite a strategic Council for a better future.
to get them to and from University, do you think that public transport is affordable for students? If not what changes would you propose?
You have a background in strategic planning, event organisation and
One thing I should add before answering that question, the city council doesn’t
community development, do you think this experience would help you give
actually do the public transport, the regional council does. One of the things I
you the edge over the other candidates and help create a stronger Hamilton?
have proposed in my policy is I would like to see the City Council work closely
Yes, I believe, specifically the strategic side, that would be a benefit. I think you
with the Regional Council to develop shuttle buses between key routes in the
need a range of skills in the council, also there would be people who would bring
city, one of those I would see being between the central city and the University,
financial background, some people who will bring a business background, and I
but also the University with other key parts to the city, such as Chartwell and The
think it’s important to have someone who has had a strategic background and
Base. So for affordability that is something that would be a priority for me, to find
who also has had involvement in community development.
out what is a good balance for the cost for ratepayers and make it affordable, especially for students
You have listed on your website that you have a focus on affordable housing, a safe and balanced transport network and a thriving arts and culture, why
Do you think that there should also be an emphasis on modes of transport
did you choose to focus on these sectors?
other than busses and cars?
For me affordable housing is one of the biggest issues that the city is facing at
Yes, one of the parts of my transport policy platform is trying to develop a safe,
the moment. For me, what I hope to achieve, talking about affordable housing
balanced transport network. I have used the word ‘balanced’ because I feel that
is not just the initial purchase price or the value of the land, but the house
it's unbalanced in particular if anyone is to cycle or walk. One of the key things
affordability across the lifespan of the house, so that’s why I’m keen to look at
I have in my policy plan is looking at a pedestrian and cycle bridge across the
affordable housing a little more broadly than a lot of politicians are looking at the
Waikato river. My ideal vision for a safe transport network, would be able to cycle
moment. It’s looking at making it more affordable like home insulation, keeping
from the university to the city without having to be on the road.
energy bills down, especially during winter. Is there anything else in particular you would do to improve the quality of Hamilton has a large student population, with many of these students living
student life?
in cold, damp and mouldy houses, how will you make sure that this situation
One of the areas I will be focusing on is thriving arts and culture, I think that’s one
improves?
thing that Hamilton could do with a lot of support. Especially in the past there
Some of the initiatives that I’d like to see the Council getting involved in is curtain
has been a lot of growth in the arts sector, it’s been really positive, but I would
banks and home insulation schemes. There are a lot of ways the Council can
like to see more Council support towards that, especially looking at affordable,
support, in particular with rentals, where it’s one of the major issues. When
accessible events as well. I would think that would be beneficial to students as it
talking about housing affordability we have got to make sure it benefits someone
would make Hamilton a more appealing place to study. 5
NEXUS MAGAZINE News
NEWS FOE: FUCKING ONLINE EDUCATION INTERVIEW BY BRITTANY ROSE
In the same interview, when asked how job losses may affect the range of programmes offered it was suggested “high achieving students” may find the Masters of Teaching and Learning (MTL) programme “potentially a more attractive pathway for these students.” Nexus has heard of instances where Second Year Conjoint students are being encouraged to withdraw in favour of completing the MTL. Is there evidence suggesting the MTL offers better outcomes for graduates? There is no evidence to suggest that graduates from the Masters of Teaching and Learning programme are better prepared to teach than graduates from the Conjoint degree programme. The Masters of Teaching and Learning qualification
Students in Faculty of Education are not happy according to the Lettuce
is a more recent initiative and it does represent an optional pathway for students
printed in Issue Thirteen (July 18th). Students said things like “Faculty of
in the Conjoint programme. Graduates from the Secondary Masters of Teaching
Education are a joke, they’ve just changed a whole programme’s compulsory
and Learning degree begin their teaching profession two salary steps in advance
paper to an entirely online paper,” “[Teaching] should be taught in a
of the graduates from the Secondary Conjoint programme. However, the cost of
classroom,” and “Faculty of Ed is a disaster.” In response, Nexus has reached
an undergraduate degree followed by the Masters programme is higher than the
out to students and staff of the Faculty of Education to ask what the heck
costs of the Conjoint programme. As this is an option for those in the Conjoint
is going on, and took some of the concerns to the University. Next week
programme, it would have been unethical not to make students aware of this
we will follow up on Issue Nine’s (May 16th) interview with the University
possibility. Some students did feel that there was some pressure on them to
regarding the Faculty of Education’s consultation period in which 16.28 Full
make this change. That was never intended and subsequent communication with
Time Equivalent Staff (FTES) cuts were proposed as part of a Staffing Plan.
students in the Secondary Conjoint programme made that very clear.
In an interview printed on the 16th May, a spokesperson of the University stated “There is no plan to decrease on-campus teaching and increase online teaching as a result of the proposed staffing plan.” Nexus is aware of at least one instance where a compulsory paper has been shifted to an online platform. How many instances within the FoE have there been where a paper of any kind has been shifted online for B Semester 2016? There remains no intention to increase online teaching as the result of the
STUDENT VOICE KELSIE MORLAND, 4TH YEAR SECONDARY CONJOINT STUDENT How have recent changes within Faculty of Education impacted on your learning experience?
Staffing Plan. Reference was made in the last issue of Nexus to one paper that
Well, the fact that my final paper has been turned into an online paper
had been moved from face-to-face to online delivery. It is understood that the
was infuriating. Whether or not this had something to do with the
provision of face-to-face workshops have subsequently been included in the
cuts, it's the worst thing that could have happened. Speaking to one
delivery mode. However, this change was not associated with the Staffing Plan,
of the lecturers, they are stretched way too thin, meaning that it's
but was the result of other factors.
taking twice as long for them to mark assignments and get them back to us. They are having to cancel classes to accommodate.
What are the reasons for this change in method of delivery? On some occasions, where the on-campus numbers in a paper are very low
Will this affect your quality of education?
and there is an online occurrence of the same paper, students in on-campus
It already is. Lecturers in the Education department already had a lot
classes are offered the option of joining the online class. Over the last few years
to do. Now that there are less staff, lecturers are trying to pick up the
a number of staff have added an online component to their papers, based on
slack and classes are suffering for it.
sound pedagogical principles.
Do you feel that teaching staff within the Faculty of Education
The students we have spoken to have not had a class representative allocated
appear to have reasonable workloads?
this semester, nor in previous FoE papers. Why is the FoE not enabling
They most certainly don't have reasonable workloads. It's putting stress
students to share their concerns through University channels designed to
on already stressed people, causing students to suffer. Assignments
ensure student voice?
are being moved around, classes cancelled and marks being delayed.
Staff of the Faculty are expected to follow the University's guidelines with regard
It's absolutely ridiculous that these cuts have happened. Obviously
to class representation. This has not been raised as an issue by students with the
they had to happen but of course, much like education in general
Dean or Heads of Schools. The Dean would be very pleased to meet with any
that's where the cuts have to come from. New Zealand and the
students who want to raise this issue.
University of Waikato need to get their priorities straight.
During the same interview, the spokesperson for the University stated that
Do you have a class representative in this paper?
staff reductions “will not impact on how the University delivers its education
I have volunteered but none have been appointed. I feel like in this
programmes and qualifications.” Students have had their enrolments changed
paper it's more necessary because of the amount of stress the intense
without choice — is a change of this manner not considered to be a change in
workload is putting on us, also because it's an online paper. And on
the way the University delivers its programmes?
another note, the paper outline for the paper has a heading that says
In a small number of instances changes are made as the result of low enrolment
‘Complaint Procedures’, but the page is completely blank. If I wasn’t
numbers. This is standard practice.
so angry I’d be laughing.
6
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SEX
News NEXUS MAGAZINE
SPORTS OPINION 2016 WAIKATO BREWERIES SHIELD TOM COLLOPY
On the 23rd of July at FMG Stadium the 2016 Waikato Breweries Shield final took place between Melville RFC and Hamilton Old Boys RSC. Melville were going into the game off the back of a tough semi-final which resulted in a 13-12 win against Varsity, whilst Old Boys were coming off an impressive semi-final performance against Hautapu in a 30-20 win. Conditions weren’t ideal on a wet and windy day in Hamilton but both teams put on a show. The teams went into halftime, Melville up 6-3 with points from the boot of Sam Toa and Jonnie Te Ruki and for Old Boys Jonty Rae. The second half produced the only try in the match after halfback Kylem O’Donnell received quick, recycled ball from the ruck to get a beautiful pass out to Sam Toa to score on the right hand side for Melville. The conversion was unsuccessful and Old Boys closed the gap to five not long after with a penalty from Jonty Rae. Old Boys then threw everything they had at Melville, they had a try disallowed after Iliesa Ratuva Tavuyara’s foot was adjudged to have touched the sideline before scoring in the corner. In the final 10 minutes Melville’s hooker Sefo Setefano was sin binned and Old Boys had their opportunity to steal victory in the dying moments. Deep into Melville’s
SPORTS OPINION MAY THE BEST DRUG CHEAT WIN? FREDDY WALKER
22 with 80 minutes up Old Boys came up with a handling error which saw their dreams shattered and Melville’s realised as the Club had just broken a drought of 35 years since winning their last Breweries Shield. Melville life member and legend Billy Hogg was hoisted onto the shoulders of the Melville players as they walked to celebrate with their family, friends and fans. I was able to catch up with Old Boy’s vice-captain Mungo Mason to ask his thoughts on the final. After a win against Hautapu in the semis, a team who were top of the table for much of the season, what was the team’s confidence like heading into the final? Our confidence was high, the massive change from our last couple of games was a change in belief which the team had in themselves. It was a great mental shift but unfortunately things didn’t go our way on the day.
Usain Bolt is back. Running in his first event after a lengthy layoff over the weekend, he blitzed his field in a 200m trial running a time of 19.89 seconds. Not quick by Olympic standards, but considering his time away an impressive result. There is no doubt that Bolt is the quickest man in the world. He has proven himself time and again that he has the ability to win the biggest races on the biggest stages – and comfortably. Many will be thinking that he is once again dead set to win gold at Rio in the 100 and 200m. But it’s in the 100m where his biggest challenge lies. Maybe not physically — Bolt is a specimen in his own class — but mentally
Going into halftime only down 6-3 what was the main message promoted in
Justin Gatlin of the United States could beat him. I’ve written
the halftime team talk?
before about the power of the mental game and Gatlin is
The main message was to stay calm, play with patience and eventually our structure
certainly exerting that over Bolt at the moment. The fact that
and patterns would get us over.
he criticised Bolt for having a medical excursion during his injury is simply a ploy to make Bolt unsure of himself. Bolt has always
After a disallowed try and being deep in their 22 towards the end was there a
been a clean athlete and the fact that someone would question
real belief among the boys that you would be able to score and secure the title?
him is outrageous to the man himself.
Also after it was all said and done how much respect did you guys have for the
Gatlin, however is a picture of an athlete that isn’t so pure. He has
determination they showed, defending their line successfully down to 14 men?
twice served bans for doping and is quite arrogant. He is 34 now
A huge amount of belief, it is a pity it didn’t eventuate but that’s the spirit of sport.
so this is his last chance to beat Bolt on the world stage. He is in
We had the right amount of respect I feel, obviously we were really gutted but in
good form and is ready for Rio. He has a heck of a chance to win,
the same way it is good for a previously relatively unsuccessful club like Melville to
actually. But if he does, what does it mean for running?
take it out. We will want it even more next year. How proud of the boys is everyone after oming one step further than last year and making the final, but to be so competitive and stay in the game right until the final whistle was blown? Incredibly proud, we had a pretty tough start to the year. The season looked long,
Is athletics — or even sport in general — becoming about who is the best at doping and getting away with it? It certainly looks that way. The amount of athletes that are being caught doping is alarming and after what has happened with Russia over the past week it’s clear that this problem is deep rooted.
difficult and a bit of a shit fight after our first game. So outcome aside, we achieved
Personally, I want Bolt to win at Rio to at least shut Gatlin up. But
great progress and I was happy to be involved.
it is becoming a case of may the best drug cheat win. 7
Last week the WSU showed you a plan for food options on campus taken out of our "A New Vision For Campus" document. This week it's Representation.
Representation Māngai Changing the Game He Ahunga Hou
A More Representative Representative Body The WSU believe our strong 40+ year history of advocating for the rights and needs of students makes us the natural forum for student issues to flow through, however we also know that we constantly need to adapt and evolve to meet the needs of students and ensure their voices are heard in the most effective way.
A possible option could be reformatting the representative model that would allow for the election of a smaller core leadership team of the WSU to continue to be conducted through the University system online and open to all students. Subsequent elections and co-option would take place in faculties and other representative sectors. These changes would potentially signal the generation of more meaningful reporting as elected reps would sit on all boards, and faculty specific structures as well as faculty endorsed clubs. Again in the case of WMS this would mean that the WSU representative not only sits on the faculty board and is a key part of WMS class rep programme but also attends meetings for the two faculty endorsed clubs and reports back on all student concerns and issues. Consideration would have to be made as to how we can best serve the voice of our Māori community. One suggestion is to have a council of all the roopu meet regularly with the Vice-President Māori and have a representative co-opted on to the board to support and strengthen the mana of this position. Similar structures could be set up for our international students and WISA in partnership with the international office and with our larger clubs creating a council of clubs. Another reason for facilitating these changes is the expected growth in Tauranga. The development of Tauranga based reps is worth consideration. This allows for better representation of each faculty, a clear pathway for information to flow through (Class Rep to Faculty Board, Faculty Board to Faculty Rep, and Faculty Rep to WSU), better integration of faculty endorsed associations such as WULSA, WMSSA, Yes, CS3, and any new faculty clubs in FASS or FOE. The WSU directors would still be assigned portfolios and still expected to complete relevant work and meet with interested or specialty groups of students such as the disabled or UniQ. This change, while massive, would open the door to other campus culture and student experience initiatives such as a yearlong InterFaculty series where individual day events could be scheduled including a sports tournament, quizzes (where the University Challenge team would be selected), and debates. We could also award points for the faculty that raises the most money through philanthropy for a designated charity each year. Directors could be assigned project budgets that work with coordinated events to make them campus-wide such as O-week. While faculty clubs could undertake internships such as design, advocacy, events or public relations to further complement the reach of the WSU and increase academic implementation. Perhaps the most important change would be the recognition of service to clubs, internships, Faculty Rep, Nexus, Advocacy and WSU Leaders on the Academic Transcript.
NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment
PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME
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“I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one I have never asked to be apart of.”
• Puddles • When the whole flat goes on a strike against doing dishes • Having your flatty’s cat’s hair
– Taylor Swift provides us with the greatest excuse of the decade.
stuck on your clothes
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NEXUS MAGAZINE
BOOK GREEN EGGS AND HAM BY DR SEUSS HOLLY MCLEOD
If you are looking for something to read that is more interesting and takes up less time than that compulsory statistics paper you hate look no further than this classic by Dr Seuss. In this tale you go on a colourful journey with Sam-I-Am as he lists many places and people one can enjoy having green eggs and ham with. With a fast paced and easy to follow plot line you will find yourself flicking through the pages while reminiscing over the loss of your childhood to essays, fees, and halls food. The mastery of the language creates many stunning visual scenes such as “on a train” and “in a boat”. These beautiful visions are aided by the vivid illustrations (something that is significantly lacking from all the $200 textbooks you are required to buy this semester). The book promotes a wonderful message of not judging something until you’ve tried it. However, Green Eggs and Ham, does promote some reckless behaviour including driving a car into a tree top, driving on top of a train, and riding in a boat with a goat, but without a lifejacket. A good read, although a little repetitive.
TV SHOW BOJACK HORSEMAN JARED WOOLDRIDGE
One of Netflix’s best original series, Bojack Horseman just dropped its third season onto the streaming site. On the face of it it seems a curious beast, a show that tries to milk as much comedy out of people and animal-people coexisting in society,
TV SHOW FRESH MEAT BRONWYN LAUNDRY
with more than its fair share of puns. However, the more you watch, the more it becomes apparent it’s so much more than that, as it takes on a darkly tragic turn at times.
If there was ever a show that managed to perfectly encapsulate the uni experience in all its hungover - on - the - floor - with - your - flatmates - avoiding - tutorials
So meet Bojack Horseman. He’s a horse who starred in a
- contemplating - life glory, it would be Fresh Meat. Fresh Meat follows the lives
successful 80’s sitcom called Horsin’ Around, and hasn’t been
of six Freshers in a fictional UK university, who couldn’t be more different, but are
able to do anything of real significance since. He’s surrounded
thrown together in a university flat-share when they fail to get into the halls.
by his agent, Princess Carolyn, writer Diane, her husband and fellow sitcom star Mister Peanut Butter, and Todd, the loveable fool who sleeps on his couch. All of these characters are far deeper than they first appear, and what begins as a tale about Bojack writing his autobiography and getting into all sorts of adventures becomes a lot more than that. All of these characters share demons that come out throughout the series, and while it appears that they make some progress, the real tragedy is how it depicts the fact that reality, and our aversion and fear of change, constantly keep these characters stuck on their self-destructive paths, taking everyone else down with them. All of this still happens in an absurd, comical world, with a recurring joke around the “D” in the Hollywood sign being
Hilarity ensues, thanks, in equal measure, to fantastic writing and a stellar cast, which includes that fulla from The Inbetweeners and comedian Jack Whitehall (who is a total standout as the ridiculously posh dickhead with a heart of gold, JP). Fresh Meat always provides the laughs, but also manages to be incredibly relatable and sympathetic to students and the very specific struggles we face and love to complain about. The humour hits a cord that only the struggling student will fully appreciate. The six main characters all have vastly different personalities and backgrounds, but all possess traits you can see in yourself and in the people you meet at uni. From the hipsters who ironically wear fedoras to the party animals who wouldn’t be able to tell you what they’re studying, you’ll find yourself bonding with the six flatmates and then feeling that bittersweet pang when they all graduate.
a standout (as well as Todd’s wacky adventures). Tragicomedy
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll experience, in the words of JP, some proper top
has never been as good as it is with Bojack.
banter.
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Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE
PLAYLIST WRITING AND STUDY MUSIC BRONWYN LAUNDRY
I like to listen to music while I’m stuck in the library writing essays or up at 3am trying to cram a semester's worth of notes into one hate-induced study session, but I often fall into the trap of playing songs I know the words to. This either results in me getting distracted and inadvertently typing lyrics into my essays or stopping studying altogether and having a jam session in my bedroom. Do you have this problem also? (Probably not). Never fear! I’m back with another playlist that probably won’t salvage my musical reputation! (Sorry Lyam). Writing and Study Music is a playlist full of scores and orchestrations without any pesky and catchy lyrics to distract you. With bangers that you’ll probably never hear in a club such as Mozart’s ‘Piano Concerto No. 9 in E-Flat Major’ and John Williams’ score to Memoirs of a Geisha. Writing and Study Music is here to keep you focused, on track, and feeling like you’re Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code or saving the world.
MUSIC GOLDEN SINGS THAT HAVE BEEN SUNG BY RYLEY WALKER LYAM BUCHANAN
The playlist is over 17 hours long and so guaranteed to keep you going all the way into the early hours of the morning on your all-nighter voyage. The problem with this playlist lies in the flow, essentially, it’s just a bunch of orchestrations shoved into a playlist, and therefore has no real rise and fall. Despite this, it’s still a solid listen when you’re looking for some background noise to fill the void made by your noiseless keyboard when you’re low on ideas and morale.
I have nothing against overproduction in music, every element has a reason and ultimately the sound is what the artist wanted to create, who am I to judge? With this being said I can’t deny that I’ve always favoured music created with instruments as raw as possible. Ryley Walker's second album Golden Sings That Have Been Sung produces exactly this.
FILM GHOSTBUSTERS JARED WOOLDRIDGE
Within this collection of tracks Ryley Walker manages to explore different sounds while still having a flow between each piece. ‘The Halfwit In Me’ starts off the album showing
Star Trek Beyond celebrates 50 blessed years of Star Trek, and it does so in
off his signature combination of complex layering, subtle
spectacular style. The latest alternate-timeline movies haven’t been entirely to
progressions and catchy repetitions. The album as a whole
the tastes of some Trekkies, but Beyond feels like classic Trek. It’s still a movie,
sounds influenced by what The Dave Matthews Band was
and ergo must therefore be exciting and hold an audience’s attention for two
producing with ‘Under The Table Dreaming’ in ‘94. However
hours, so of course there are still explosions, but buried underneath them is a
with less of the technical focus being on one instrument and
story that promotes characters above all, with a hopeful and timely message.
an overall more relaxed vibe.
Very classic Trek.
If you were to close your eyes and listen to ‘Funny Thing She
So we catch up with the Starship Enterprise halfway through its five year
Said’ you’d instantly find yourself in some quiet NYC bar,
mission to boldly go where no one has gone before, and things have become
sitting alone as you try to forget why your wife left you. The
a little “episodic” for Captain Kirk, as he struggles with his place in Starfleet.
setting may sound like the typical American cliche where
Likewise, with the unfortunate passing of Leonard Nimoy, Spock is also flung into
a mysterious man sits in a cloud of cigarette smoke with a
questioning his place in Starfleet. The ship responds to a distress call, whereupon
whiskey in hand, but the small elements of folk and heavily
the crew is forced apart and split up into unlikely pairings to defeat the villainous
layered progression which Ryley produces sets this piece
Krall, whose seemingly basic plot has a great rug-pull moment later on.
apart from the mellowed Jazz category which this could have easily fallen into.
If you’ve enjoyed the other two recent Trek films, it’s highly likely you’ll enjoy this one too. It still has stunning action, with a great set-piece with the Enterprise
If this is the sound you’ve been looking for then keep your
being attacked early on, but the main plus here is the way they treat the
ears open for the release on the 19th of August.
characters. They split them up, allowing everyone a chance to shine and develop. This is the first of the new Trek movies where the crew really does feel like a family, and going forth, it makes Star Trek 4 a very exciting prospect. 13
COVERED ABIGAIL JENSEN Age: 21 Occupation: Broke Fine Arts Graduate What mediums do you tend to work in and why? My aesthetic always seems to look aggressive, probably cause I'm always trying to prove my existence. I love ink, it’s fantastic when it sits and forms its own thick shiny goop. I really like heavy duty paints with chemicals that probably melt my brain as I’m working with them. Having literally no money has helped me to be resourceful when I’m in studio practice. If I find something on the street I'll take it home and work with it whether introducing installation elements or allowing the trash to influence my painting and drawings. The reason I like to use urban paraphernalia is to reflect all the urban decay that surrounds us, touching on our own dismissal from blatant ~cognitive dissonance~ I feel it is in my best interest to consider and produce works touching on the premise of our crappy narcissistic society. In recent works I have been exploring a juxtaposition of urban environments and internalised distraught. I like to weave both mental and physical worlds, bearing a question of the quality and existence of our human nature <3 Describe your style in three words Provocative, cathartic, #ironic Peter Dornauf described your Creep exhibition as having a “feral quality” — thoughts? Feral? Haha, to be honest when I was creating the work for that show all I was channelling was a stint of sexual frustration and the aesthetics of BDSM culture. I just took on the title of Creep and fed that into my voyeuristic tendencies. It had been a while since I had delved into sexuality with my art and I always love it 'cause obviously, the #virginitycomplex has ruined my life. Where can people find you online? abeejensen.wordpress.com Facebook: Aro Ha / Instagram: cellularvice Would you rather eat or bathe in paint for a month? The repercussions of both would be tragic — I'd just bathe in glittery scented non toxic paint.
Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE
ARTS SHOW AT RAMP GALLERY PETER DORNAUF
Most curators of exhibitions these days have a controlling
the early 1950s with biblical import. Often these were about
theme running through their selection of works chosen for
the weighty subject of spiritual life and death issues. The
any particular show. Sometimes it’s almost a showing off
second image Davies uses is a photograph of the ubiquitous
of the curator’s skills in weaving together disparate images
stockyard ramp, one that facilitates the loading of stock onto
that becomes more important than the works themselves.
a truck to be carted off to the abattoir. The conversation
It’s against this trend that Wintec tutor, Ed Hanfling, has mounted a show at Ramp Gallery, Collingwood Street, simply called Show. The title itself is telling in its unpretentious nature, deliberately calling attention to the inherent reason for exhibitions themselves — to show the works of artists, rather than show off the work of the curator. To this end the show is a smorgasbord of paintings, photographs and sculptures from a diverse range of artists for no other reason than to reveal the ambit of art practice happening at the moment.
between these two images is delicious, or perhaps more correctly, one full of irony and sardonic comment. LEADING BY D B G GOODWIN A painting which seems conventional enough – an innocent image of a young girl leading a calf on calf-club day (though posited against the Davies work, one could be given pause). What makes this picture so powerful is the generous empty space in the landscape that allows the calf and girl to become elevated in their significance.
What it also provides for is a chance for artists who
COPULATION CROSS CROSS BY MEGAN HANSEN-
otherwise might be overlooked and neglected to have their
KNARHOI
time in the sun. And God knows there’s a lot of overlooking
Finally one couldn’t go past Megan Hansen-Knarhoi’s,
about as curators go about choosing what to and what not
“Copulation Cross Cross”, from the Crotchtit series. I looked
to exhibit.Three works in particular caught my eye:
up the word and it said, “My Little Pony Porn”. Ahem. The works in question are small mantelpiece size 3D sculptures
AUTEUR MOVIE STAR FLATMATES RICHARD SWAINSON
GOD’S COUNTRY/LANDSCAPE BY ANTHONY DAVIES
of crucifixion crosses made from imagery taken from porn
What appealed was the clever juxtaposition of two opposing
magazines and stitched together. Are we to read some
images, one an illustration from the iconic Colin McCahon,
feminist polemic here or is this an attempt to sacralize the
who of course overlaid the New Zealand landscape back in
vulva, a la D H Lawrence?!
Today's theme is movie stars of the Golden Age who once
about Errol was that you always knew where you stood with
flatted together. Be it from necessity early in their careers, a
him because he always let you down".
certain financial tightness or philosophical common ground, the following actors all once co-habitated:
JAMES STEWART & HENRY FONDA Both alumni of the same summer stock acting troupe,
RANDOLPH SCOTT & CARY GRANT
Stewart and Fonda flatted together from 1932 to 1934, prior
An infamous coupling, if only because of rumours at the time
to their respective movie careers. Stewart was allegedly in
and ever since that the future iconic cowboy and Hollywood's
love with Fonda's first wife Margaret Sullivan, his co-star in
ultimate leading man were more than just good friends. I
four films but neither this nor a heated argument in 1947 over
challenge anyone to look at the photos of the pair from their
the blacklist could undermine their relationship. Stewart, a
flatting days and not detect a certain campness. Both actors
conservative and a war hero, and Fonda, a "liberal" leftist,
denied it until their dying day and Grant actually sued Chevy
thereafter resolved to never again talk politics. The late,
Chase in the 1970s for calling him gay. The former Archie
minor western, The Cheyenne Social Club (1970), hints at
Leach had previously lived with the openly homosexual
the pair's rapport.
costume designer Orry-Kelly for several years prior to his association with Scott. He also married five different women.
SHELLEY WINTERS & MARILYN MONROE Flatmates in the late 1940s, the future two time Oscar
DAVID NIVEN & ERROL FLYNN
winner and the 20th century's most celebrated sex symbol
Robustly straight, these two had hell raising times together
had a lot in common. Two anecdotes penned by Winters
in the early to mid-1930s. On one occasion Niven invited
about Monroe have passed into folklore: her fondness for
Olivia de Havilland to a ball, only to pass her on to his
Albert Einstein and her early attempts at cooking. The
flatmate, her frequent co-star, in an elaborate pre-arranged
genius ended up topping a hypothetical list of men Monroe
move. Later, as Flynn's behaviour deteriorated and Niven
would like to sleep with and Marilyn's efforts at "washing a
prospered, the Englishman observed that "the great thing
lettuce" involved soap and a Brillo pad!
15
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bite me. I’m ripe but not overdone. My flesh
Pulls your hair taut
Fine strands, catching the sharp
yellow light of a 150 watt bulb.
I’m stranded on my side.
a little too.
You bite your lip.
to be bruised. My skin is lightly downed, soft, strokeable. Lick me. Inhale me,
I kiss down your neck. It tastes electric.
The fine hairs of your collar bone wet in the light.
I make an attempt to remove your bra.
My mind is woozy. And I fumble around with it.
Until you laugh and interrupt my attempts
and take it off in one motion with the skill
of daily practice.
inside too. Sweet and musky my nectar zings on your
I ask you if you’re okay?
You nod.
I smile up at you.
I’m golden on the
Your breathing huffs.
bite me.
Your eyes roll back.
Your body moves against it.
I kiss you there.
I don’t like
Cut off in the back of the throat.
stop resisting and
Be gentle.
You commit to the exhale tapered by a trebled moan.
Salivation of your whimper.
like it.
Just the way you
but resists
Your smile is a silent laugh as your eyes rock from side to side.
I kiss your neck and nip at your ear lobe. Kiss the scar on the top of it.
your touch
Your skin is white and red and glistening.
gives a little at
Go on,
Bite me.
BY ONYX LILY
PEACH
over your head.
Your mustard sweater comes off
You remove your jeans scuffed at the knees.
BY JOSHUA MORRIS
LIGHTS ON
NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
NEXUS GETS YOU OFF
EROTICA CREATIVE WRITING COMPETITION
freedom but you stem the flow with a
Higher.
My paleness exposed.
juice sucked
tongue. Another?
I become a thrumming thing.
Our centre is melted.
The world is a fogged breath, mixed.
Your face pressed to mine.
I don’t finish until you are on top of me.
the weight sinking into my hips.
hands brush skin measuring each square inch
I am straddled
Your knees hold me in
Our bodies are halogen.
Our movements stain.
questing, satiated
Warm up and down.
from my stone by your
stripped and
We laugh about rhythm and the troubles of finding it.
morsels of flesh
At last I’m spent, my final
guzzle.
You move your hand.
Yes.
I close my eyes.
with the urge to
savour warring
bite, the urge to
You tug at the elastic around my hips.
You ask if it is okay.
Bite follows glorious
You prod my belly button. Gentle impact.
You move fingers over my navel.
juice makes a bid for
quick finger.
A drop of my
Black cloth.
tap-dancing bees.
thousand tiny
tongue like a
My dress pushed above my knees.
Thumb and forefinger plucking at idle hairs.
You have hands and they move clammy palms up my legs.
The brain is a buzz.
Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
Think Mills & Boon, think fan-fiction, think the smut you find on your Tumblr dash at 4am. Nexus Gets You Off, our creative
writing erotica competition, is judged by Aunty Slut and our Editorial Team. For your reading pleasure we have two
pieces of poetry, Lights On, and Peach; and flash fiction, A Sapphic Rescue. Our winner, Veronica-Anne Gardner, received
a prize pack from D.Vice. She’ll have no problem celebrating her win with lube, clit gel and a D.Vice Advice book.
17
NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
WIN
NER
A SAPPHIC RESCUE BY VERONICA-ANNE GARDNER
I’m being hit on by yet another sleazeball at the bar when a small
forward to meet her hand. Her thumb brushes over my clit and I
hand grabs mine. Startled I look to see who it is, and am confronted
shake with anticipation. She slips two fingers inside me, crooked
with dark brown eyes outlined by dark eyeliner. With a meaningful
forward to pull at the fire racing through my body. The tension is
stare her eyes says something along the lines of ‘I am here to save
building unbearably, my breath comes in hitches, and I am filled
you, just follow my lead’
with desire.
“Stop hitting on my girlfriend you limp walnut.” She spits.
“Touch me” she gasps letting out a small moan. As my hands roam
I snort at her beautiful choice of insult as she pulls me out to the
about her waist I pull her forward and unclasp her bra. Her soft
dance floor.
round breasts fall against me, her nipples erect, I rub them between
He tries to follow us shouting, “Prove it,” well after we have disappeared into the mass of dancing bar patrons. But she does. I can feel the pulse of the music beat through me, her body pressed up against mine in the sweaty gyrating mass of people around us. Heat moves through my body, I am hyper aware of every part of my body that she touches, “Do you want to get out of here?” She asks. I nod.
my fingers. My hands wander — fondling her breasts, caressing the arch of her naked back, roaming over her buttocks and thighs, I want to touch every inch of her. The strength of what is building is staggering, crying out I rock myself against her harder and harder as the ripples tear through me. The fire in my body builds into full on waves of electricity and all at once I can feel my orgasm overwhelm me, shuddering down and rolling out around her deft fingers. I lay panting, whimpering. The aftershocks are shaking through me in a
In the cab, she rests her hand on my thigh, tracing small circles with her thumb, sends sparks of fire up my body. I can feel myself getting wet. Her hand moves further up my leg and under my skirt, my breath catches as she plays with the lace edges of my panties, tugging them slightly, the fabric rubs against my now aching clit.
series of pleasures. She pulls my hand out from where it is tangled in her hair and guides it between her legs. Her cunt is wet, hot and pulsing, she moans as I touch her, her back arching with pleasure.
She chats politely to the oblivious taxi driver, a slight smirk on her
I slowly place one finger inside her and roll myself on top, kissing her
face. She knows that I am lost in a haze of lust. My legs part slightly
neck, teasing my way down her body, her hands are now tangled up
and I silently will her hand to find its way between them, instead she
in my hair and I can smell the scent of sweat and sex that lingers in
pulls away and I whimper at the loss of her touch.
the space between us. She guides my head between her legs and I
She chucks a twenty to the driver and pulls me from the car, through the front door of her house and into her bedroom. I stand in the middle of her room, her shoes are chucked in a corner and her dress follows suit. She saunters towards me and I can’t help but stare at her. Her long hair falls down her back and over her
instinctively open my mouth. Beginning with one, wet, flat-tongued lick, tasting the tangy sweetness of her body. My arousal is building again, and let out a little moan. I find her clit and take it in my mouth, carefully, slowly. I gently run my tongue across it, tracing the alphabet with little flicks.
shoulders, her curvy frame sporting only lacy black panties and a
She gasps, and arches, moaning, her thighs clamping around my
bra, her nipples hard against the silky fabric. She grasps my waist
head. Her hips thrust against me and my tongue enters her. I feel a
and deftly undoes the zip of my skirt while I strip off my top. She
warmth rush out from inside her; she gasps and slows her breathing
gently shimmies the skirt down to the floor following it with kisses
to a smooth rhythm, shuddering every few seconds.
as she does so, her mouth lingering on my navel, hips, and thighs. A small moan escapes my lips as she licks the soaked crotch of my panties before pulling them off using only her teeth. Standing up she kisses me before pushing me onto the bed.
I roll off and lie next to her; both of us are still feeling rolls of pleasure descending down our bodies. She kisses me, tasting her own pleasure on my lips and hums. “It's nice to meet you,” I say, “I’m Taylor.”
We lie beside each other, kissing, her hand resting on my inner
She giggles, “I’m Verity.”
thigh. My cunt is throbbing, dripping with desire, my hips thrust
End.
of lesbian erotica?). If it makes you a little uncomfortable while reading it in public, it’s a winner, and most importantly, A++ use the use of the word cunt in its proper context.” Aunty Slut “If you can reference Sappho in the title of your erotica, then you’re doing justice to clit-lit.” Brittany “It's less 15-year-old-tumblr-girl and more 35-year-old-repressed-housewife. Exactly what erotica should be.” Bronwyn
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FEEDBACK
“I feel like this person spends a lot of time reading erotic fanfic but in this context it’s not a bad thing (and who doesn’t love a bit
Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
FEATURE A (IS) OK BY 50SHADESOFA
In my most long-term relationship, when the inevitable loss of interest happened on my part, I managed to gradually eke out the between-sex intervals to once every 6-8 weeks. I started making sure I went to bed first, so I could be (or pretend to be) asleep by the time he came to bed, and would wake up and get up first too. When I felt like I finally had to, I’d put out reluctantly and unenthusiastically, and it got to the point when I realised this really was not fair on me, or on my partner. And then, one day, I had a few consultations with Dr Google, and stumbled across a community for people who identify as asexual. The more I read, the
Contemporary culture can be a bit sex obsessed, and there’s an idea that students are horny fuckers (literally). It gets a little tedious sometimes. Sex is great when you’re into it — emphasis on “when you’re into it”. Some people just aren’t into it, and that’s A-okay. 50ShadesofA has always been more or less not into sex, and shares her experiences of identifying as and coming to terms with her innate asexuality. Warning, this article goes a little deeper than you may be comfortable with…
more it felt like it fit. It was a lightbulb moment. An asexual person is someone who doesn’t experience sexual desire, although some feel romantic attraction to others. Some experience no sexual arousal whatsoever, while others might be aroused only through self-stimulation. Like gender identity and sexuality, asexuality is not a choice, and is only one part of a person’s identity. Some asexual people define themselves as “hetero-romantic” or “bi-romantic”, for example, to indicate that they are interested in forming romantic relationships with people of the same or opposite gender (or both).
For years I thought there was something broken inside me. I lost my virginity to
They may enjoy kissing, cuddling, holding hands, or they may not. They may
a guy when I was 17, and it was as messy and awkward and painful as I’d been
experience some occasional sexual arousal, or they may experience none at all.
led to expect. Then I waited for it to get better. I waited to want it, to know what it felt like to swoon with lust, to tingle beneath someone’s fingers, to catch someone’s eye and want them. It never really happened. Friends talked about sex in way that I had never experienced, and I just couldn’t really understand why anyone actually wanted to do it, just for the sake of making love, or fucking, or whatever. I knew that they weren’t always telling the truth, but everything I was hearing, the books I was reading, the movies I was watching, even basic human biology told me that most people really did seem to enjoy sex. In my 20s I experimented a bit. OK, I slept around. I was looking for that spark, thinking that maybe if I just found the right guy, it would be good. But it never was. I’m not saying I never had an orgasm, but I had to retreat pretty deep into my own fantasy world to make it happen, and it was always WAY easier, faster and more enjoyable on my own. I made friends with a girl who was pretty confident in her own sexual prowess, and I started emulating her in some ways because (to paraphrase When Harry Met Sally) I wanted what she was having. I had a few long-term relationships, but because I never wanted sex and the guys (naturally enough) did, there was a definite power imbalance, as I would hold out for longer and longer until I felt like I had to give in. The relationships inevitably ended, at least in part because of the sex. Not them dumping me for not putting out, but me getting sick of it being an issue, and feeling like I had to have sex on a semi-regular basis, when I would a thousand times rather just
For many people, like me, discovering that there are others who don’t experience sexual desire is a relief. Identifying as asexual can initially feel quite isolating, as it’s not something that is well understood by others. Friends who I was brave enough to mention it to usually responded with “maybe you haven’t found the right person yet” or “that’s sad”. But thanks to the interwebs it’s now much easier to find communities of people to talk to who understand, and the online friends I made really helped me in realising that there was nothing wrong with me, and in accepting this new part of my identity. Like gender identity and sexual orientation, sexuality versus asexuality is more of a spectrum than a tick box, and the only person who can decide if the asexual label fits and is useful, is you. Some people, for example, identify as “grayasexual” because they very occasionally experience sexual attraction or arousal, but mostly consider themselves asexual. People who identify as completely asexual may also still choose to have sex sometimes, maybe to show affection to their partner, or to try for a baby for example. In my case, my discovery ended my relationship, but I think that was best for both of us. Many people who identify as asexual do have long lasting relationships either with another person who identifies as asexual, or with someone sexual. This requires compromise and understanding from both partners, but hey, that’s what relationships are really all about.
read a book. On a couple of occasions, I actually did read a book most of the way
If you think you might be asexual, or you want to find out more, the Asexual Visibility
through sex. I’m not kidding.
and Education Network is a great place to start. Check out www.asexuality.org. 19
NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
FEATURE SEX SHOP
also quite likely to melt when stored with real silicone toys, ruining your whole collection. All D.Vice toys are made from non porous materials like medical grade silicone or ABS plastics that won’t harbour bacteria or leech toxins into your body.
INTERVIEW BY BRITTANY ROSE
You initially started with hosting sex toy parties, can you explain how a party is set up? Sex toy parties are a great way to bring the mountain to Mohammed. A lot of people are uncomfortable physically coming into the store, so this is an
Nexus sat down with Teddy Curle who’s been obsessed with sex toys her whole life. After an eye-opening first trip to D.Vice when she saved up to catch two buses to buy her first vibrator at 16. Aside from loving orgasms, she is very much about health, safety and sex positivity so she’s the perfect person to interrogate about the day-to-day life of pedalling butt plugs and vibrators. Why D.Vice over any other sex toy store? D.Vice has a very special approach to the adult industry. Founded by women, the company has always been geared towards women, couples and others that the heteronormative mainstream industry often leaves behind. Designed to be a safe and comfortable space, the store doesn’t feel like other sex shops at all - no dim lighting, no dodgy legal highs and NO PORN.
opportunity to learn about sex and purchase toys in the comfort of your own home. I basically do a 45 min presentation followed by a bit of Q&A and an opportunity to purchase. It’s like tupperware. Adult tupperware. What is the typical demographic for sex toy parties? Why do you think this is the way it is? We do hen’s nights so that’s where we get a lot of younger women, but the main demographic we see for parties that are just for the sake of buying sex toys is the older crowd, about 35 - 50. At that age women know what they want, have the means to buy it and the self-esteem to believe they deserve it. For various reasons younger women are less likely to have these three things at the same time. I would love to do more mixed gender parties but the demand hasn’t been there yet.
D.Vice is also very safety conscious which is something I’ve always admired. In a virtually unregulated industry like this one anything can be sold as a sex toy, even
What’s the general range of sex toy knowledge of a group at a sex toy party?
if it’s made of materials that are dangerous to human bodies. Remember BPAs
Is it greater or lesser than you’d first expected?
and all that stuff we just banned from being in baby bottles? It’s still being put
There’s usually one self educated sex pos feminist at every party (that gets subtly
in products you are supposed to put INSIDE YOURSELF. Toxic toys like this are
slut shamed by her peers the whole time) but the level of ignorance is pretty
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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
shocking, particularly among the younger girls. There’s almost an attitude of not
elsewhere, so we have a steady stream of people coming in just for lube.
expecting to enjoy sex at all, which speaks to what our current narrative around
Particularly people with skins allergies or concerns about parabens etc. Top
sex is telling young women. It’s actually the older women that are far more
selling toys are definitely the We-vibe range.
educated and eager than I expected. From what I can tell your mum is probably at home right now googling weird fetishes.
What toy do you take the most joy in introducing people to? Both sexually, and super casually?
Has anyone said anything that’s shocked you while you’ve been working?
Anything with new technology. I love the reaction to the bluetooth connectivity
A very memorable hen was shocked and disturbed to discover the location of the
on the we-vibe 4+, particularly when I reveal the ability to give control via internet
male g-spot (spoilers: it’s the prostate) and even more baffled when I explained
to anyone in the world. Toys that respond to music, have touch sensitivity or
pegging — a woman penetrating a male partner with a strap on. “But how?! Men
unusual movements like the Stronic Drei’s pulsations or the stroking motion of the
don’t have anywhere for you to put it in??” Cue laughter from her bridesmaids
Mona Wave — all of these put a satisfying look of childlike wonder on adult faces.
and a quick anatomy lesson. Obviously students are piss poor. What’s your advice for a student who Now that you work in the D.Vice store do you miss hosting parties?
wants to buy a sex toy, but doesn’t have hell of alot of cash?
I actually still do the occasional party and it’s an entirely different prospect to
Three words: Course related costs.
working in the store. There’s a lot more energy required and I work by commission at parties so the pay can be better too. I still really enjoy them — there’s a lot laughter and you get to meet a lot of people very quickly. What’s your favourite part of your job? I love it when I can genuinely help a person have a better sex life. A lot of people end up talking to me about problems they’ve never told anyone about before and
But really, google it! Find a product you like from a brand with good reviews and then subscribe to email updates from websites that stock them. Eventually a sale will come up on your toy. This takes patience, but it also lets you save a little more over time so you can invest more. This is very much an industry where cost increases with quality so it’s worth investing about the same amount of money that you would spend on other personal electronics like a mobile phone.
it’s great to be able to offer them a solution to what they thought was something
In the meantime, if you desperately need a toy TODAY then look for ABS plastic
they just had to live with. It’s great to see people leave the store lighter than they
which is usually cheaper than silicone but still bodysafe. Battery operated is
came in, relieved to finally be allowed to talk about sex like grown ups — without
always cheaper than rechargeable but remember the cost of buying batteries
shame or judgement.
over time can rack up. We sell the Bunny Bullet for $39.99 which is a battery operated bullet vibe ideal for clitoral stimulation (and one of my very first sex
What’s your least favourite?
toys ever!).
Sometimes I do get a bit sad about the sheer number of people who believe their pleasure, their body, doesn’t belong to them. A lot of people let their sexuality
Second to that, what’s your advice to someone who doesn’t want to buy a
be dictated by their parents, by their partner or by their own expectations of
sex toy, but wants to improve or increase their sexual pleasure?
normality. I get a lot of people asking if things are “common”, seeking validation
Lube. A good lube can change everything; textures, friction, length of intercourse
for some fetish or act they feel guilty about (maybe through miseducation or
and can allow you to go harder. A silicone based lube will last longer so it can
stigma). The answer is always whatever you do by yourself, or whatever two or
make sex in water actually worthwhile! In a similar vein, a clit stimulating gel
more consenting adults want to do together is normal for you.
can be fun. If you can tolerate them try cinnamon oil or menthol based tingling products, or for a more natural and bodysafe option try our Pur Gel.
What are the customers generally like? Shy? Confident? Sleazy? Polite?
What can you do without buying anything? Try mindfulness. Turn off all
I get a real mix. We have regulars who are very open and relaxed, but I talk to a
distractions and try to focus on the information coming directly to your senses.
lot of couples who have never used any toys before. The majority are very polite
A lot of us get in the habit of playing through highlight reels or concocting
and fun to talk to after I get their guard down a little with a few cheap jokes. I
fantasies during sex, but actually being present in the moment with your partner
aim to make it as much like talking to a friend as possible, so I acknowledge the
can be very intimate and fulfilling.
ridiculous and humorous side of dildo shopping. D.Vice doesn’t stock the type of products that attract the stereotypical sleazy sex shop clientele (we don’t have porn, pornstar male masturbators or blow up dolls) so I very rarely see them. Have you ever had anyone wander into the store without realising what your product is? How did they react? A few people who aren’t very good at English have read the “toy store” part without noticing the “ADULT” bit, the vibrators in the window or the R16 on the front door. So we get the occasional mother and children group coming through and doing an abrupt 180 a few metres in. Most memorably two families shopping together with their sons ages 8-10ish managed to get to the dildo wall before I
Give me an acrostic poem using the word ‘pleasure’. P leasantly L icking E very A nus S eems U nusually R omantic E ventually
could stop them and communicate the problem but I think the wall of phalluses finally clued them in.
Now a haiku about your job, k , thanks. Gently wash dildos
What are the most popular items you sell on a day-to-day basis?
Explain g-spot pleasuring
Lube. We stock a range of specialty and luxury lubes that are difficult to buy
Insert or swipe please
21
NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space
YOUR SPACE THE CARDRONA HOTEL PT. 2 These flatties have been spendin’ most their lives livin’ in a hipster’s paradise. DoBro cans and playing cards used as decor are strewn around the flat and give the telltale signs that these hipsters know how to party. The Bowie poster proves their credibility as fully evolved alternative folk. But they did it before it was cool. And don’t tell anyone, it might become popular.
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Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE
23
89.8 FLETCH, VAUGHAN & MEGAN WEEKDAYS 6 -10AM
ZMONLINE.COM
NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY FIRST DATES
HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D ROSEWATER SPONGE
BRONWYN LAUNDRY
VITAMIN D
EXPECTATIONS
Appropriating cultures is what made the British Empire the cornerstone
You arrive fashionably. Late, early, whatever, you’re fashionable 24/7. You sit
of Western civilisation for half a millennium, and the (somewhat justified)
across from a beautiful/handsome stranger and stare deep into their eyes.
subject of attack for its indiscriminate assimilation and displacement of less
You immediately hit it off straight away and fall into mutual love and adoration
technologically developed cultures worldwide. Yes, it’s shitty, and I’m not
and can see your whole future play out with them in it, or at the very least
going to justify it, but even if you hate it you’re probably performing some
you can tell you’ll have a great one night stand with them in a few hours or
version of it every time you pour cereal or down a pint because they wouldn’t
possibly give/receive some mad head in the bathrooms, depending on your
be in your gullet if it weren’t for some form of appropriation. Without a
intoxication levels. You discover you have the same goals and plans for life
dialogue between cultures we wouldn’t have vodka (Poland, probably), beef
(even if they just involve owning several cats). You begin to finish eachother’s
(France, maybe), hot pies or beer (Egypt). So whenever someone releases a
sentences and the waiter remarks on what a lovely couple you are and asks
new ‘fusion’ cookbook what they’re really doing is selling a dialogue between
how long you’ve been together. Hours pass like minutes and you forget the
cultures that typically relies on the pastiche of culinary history available in
outside world exists you are so engrossed in your conversation. You split the
the ‘international’ shelves at Countdown or bottled for export to Asian
bill because you’re progressive as fuck and leave the restaurant, ready to
supermarkets. Hell, even our fixation with craft beer in this town plays into the
begin your new lives together.
idea of a privileged pick-n-mix approach to appetite. Having said that, here’s a classic Victoria sponge inspired by the flavours of
REALITY You are waiting for over half an hour and just when you think you’ve been
Turkey and the Middle East.
stood up, in stumbles your date. You go in for the handshake and they go
For the sponge: Mix 4 fat eggs, 1 C sugar, 1 ½ C flour, 5 t baking powder, 225 g
in for the hug which results in a lot of awkward and a little bit of nervous
soft butter and 1 T of rosewater in a bowl until it slops a soft drop. Divide
laughter. You make shitty small talk until your food comes, thereafter you
between two greased lined 8 inch round tins and bake at 180°C for 25mins.
sit in total silence while you eat. You made the rookie mistake of ordering
Look for golden brown and a decent spring to the top. Let them cool in their
spaghetti which means you now look like a fuckwit while you try not to spray
tins for 5 mins before turning them onto a cooling rack.
bolognese all over yourself and your date — no chance of a Lady and the Tramp moment here. After a few too many beersies you make an incredibly politically incorrect joke and immediately regret it as your date looks at you like you’ve just offended their whole family. You excuse yourself to hide in the bathroom and text all your friends about how awful the date is going. You’ve been eyeing up the dessert menu all night but your date refuses when the waiter asks and says some seedy pick-up line about how they can be your dessert if you go back to their flat. You politely decline and catch a taxi alone
While that’s cooling, make a lemon curd. You could buy the Bakel’s stuff from the spread aisle but homemade is far better and earns more points with Ma. Zest, then juice 4 large lemons into a double boiler with 200 g sugar and 100 g of butter and melt. Lightly whisk 3 eggs and 1 extra yolk together and into the lemon mixture until well combined, then cook, stirring constantly, for around 10-15 mins or until it coats the back of a spoon. From here it’s best to jar it in clean, sterile glass jars and save extra for later.
as soon as possible, then spend the remainder of your night watching rom-
Make your pistachio crumb by emptying a small pack of pistachio kernels into
coms and feeling sorry for yourself.
a blender or food processor and blitzing until crumbed. Set aside.
Word of advice: Being single as fuck is fun! Couples are gross. *sips wine* *cries self to sleep* *buys cat*
Place one cool sponge upside-down on a plate and smear the bottom (now on the top) with a heady layer of curd. If you like, spread some whipped cream over too. Place the second cake on top, right side up. Spread that with a thin layer of curd — just enough to make it sticky, then sprinkle the pistachio crumb over. Enjoy your imperialist cake.
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Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE
HEIL HOGAN PRETENTIOUS FUCKS
NERD YORK TIMES GAAAAAY
LYAM BUCHANAN
JARED WOOLDRIDGE
Sadly your body has probably had enough time to flush out the goodness
George Takei, great guy. But I must disagree with the Star Trek actor and
you gifted it during Re-O, luckily your hygiene is lacking enough for the
gay rights icon. He spoke out recently about his disappointment with how
crusty goodness caught under your fingernails to still give you an occasional
the latest Star Trek movie (celebrating 50 years) changed the sexuality of
nostalgic whiff. Chances are you’re still coming to grips with the whole idea of
his character, Hikaru Sulu. Simon Pegg, the writer, replied that he wanted to
sobriety, this means it's the perfect time for the official recap on everything
help reinforce the spirit of diversity that Star Trek embodies, with the first
you fucking hate about flat parties and Hamilton night life in general.
non-straight main crew member. George Takei, however, didn’t want Star Trek
Babe: Don’t fucking flatter yourself. People aren’t brushing past you just for the chance to be close to you. Whatever club you're in is completely packed
creator Gene Roddenberry’s vision altered in light of the anniversary of his creation. And badaboom, controversy ensued!
and the only reason people are squeezing past you is in an attempt to get
I think the change is a good thing, especially in light of how it’s handled in the
anywhere you aren’t. Sorry honey but throwing constant elbows at everyone
film. Sulu gets off the ship, greets his husband and daughter, and goes to enjoy
within a three metre radius doesn’t make you seem hard to get, if anything it
some time together with them. It’s nothing but normal, just a happy family
just further cements you into the trashy clique of crying after your fourth RTD.
enjoying some shore leave. Star Trek has always celebrated diversity, through
Bro: You’re not a huge skux. You may think you’re some sentient being sent down to grace us all with your presence but you’re just a 19 year old with a receding hairline who didn’t get enough attention from their parents. Wearing clothes stained with branding doesn’t make people respect you, don’t go
the simple act of showing diversity as completely normal, in a way that doesn’t strip the characters of their identities. There’s no problem in making Sulu gay; he’s still Sulu in every way. In fact, if they had have just created an entirely new character, chances are it might have gone wrong.
getting all flustered when your $300 shoes get scuffed in Outback or when
Simon Pegg stated that the reason he wrote this for a member of the main
the super cool design on your Lower jeans starts to peel off.
cast, rather than a new character was to avoid tokenism, which would have
Stray Cat: Yes, I may have left the garage door slightly open. No that does not mean you can defecate on every possible surface while also fornicating wherever possible. I don't even feed you so why do you feel so at home in the stagnant musk known as my garage? I may have given you a cheeky stroke on occasion but we promised to keep that between ourselves, come on man. Cunts Who Dab Unironically: Really?
been true. Whip up a new character, make them the diverse one, no one will notice when they’re written out of the sequel. Or even worse, they’ll be killed off, maybe in some heroic sacrifice. Hollywood too often relegates these characters to bit appearances or death, with the whole Bury Your Gays trope. Star Trek is not about to kill off Sulu, either, so that means the franchise has its first gay main crew member. I’m sure Gene would’ve loved the fact that greater diversity has come to be
Robbers: You really are the biggest joke. Taking advantage of the fact that
accepted, after having these characters born into a time when such a thing
we've briefly escaped the never ending onslaught of test and assignments
was impossible. It shouldn’t be controversial, or disappointing. Much like in
to break into our flats and steal whatever takes your fancy? How about you
Star Trek, it is an entirely normal thing that exists in a future we should strive
get yourself a soul destroying job at some supermarket or fast food joint so
for, that is there to be seen by those who it would help the most, and it can
you can put into perspective how long it takes to afford the laptop you've
help. If the character exists in the same spirit and personality, then there’s no
taken for a stroll, let alone the price of the window you've smashed to get in
problem with adding more diversity to a franchise built on it. It’s a good model
to begin with.
for other franchises to follow as well.
27
NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
NEW LOCALS SEXUALITY IN NZ
SAWIT PRODUCTIVITY IN TERTIARY
KYLE TAN
LOGAN ROBINSON
Same-sex marriage became legal in New Zealand on August 2013. Coming
A political agenda for the tertiary sector by any other name...
from a developing country myself, and being surrounded with people with strong sense of religion, I am very much envious about the celebration of “LoveWins” here. Topics about the community of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual (LGBTQIA) are taboo back in my country. Most people still practice conservatism where they refuse to recognise the existence of this population, or worse putting negative labels on them. While such homophobic or heterosexist incidents should be less common here, they however do occur. Cases on gay bashing or aggression and violence towards people of sexual minorities are still being broadcasted in New Zealand’s media.
Recently, I had the privilege of attending a symposium hosted by the TEU (Tertiary Education Union) on the future of the tertiary sector in Aotearoa New Zealand. The scope of the symposium was related to a review of the sector by the Productivity Commission. The intent of the symposium was to place the voices from within the sector in front of the panel undertaking the review. These voices were made up of academic staff, student representatives, student support staff and other parties with a vested interest in the tertiary education sector. The greatest thing that stood out for me was how connected the grievances
As results, the sexual minorities experience severe negative health and social conditions, such as anxiety, depression, exclusion, alcoholism, selfblame, and developing suicidal thoughts, while also being less likely to seek assistance from conventional health services. These stresses exerted on people of the LGBTQIA community are typically the effects of negative reaction from society and perpetuation of heterosexist actions, rather than from the inherent being of a member of LGBTQIA. An example of meso-level intervention, UniQ Waikato is the representative group for queer students at the University of Waikato. It acts as the pillar for queer students. Moreover, it facilitates a safe space on campus, where the queer students can feel comfortable and fully self-expressed, without the fear of being unwelcomed or detested. This initiative is vital as university life is where the queer community will be undergoing an identity transformation by acknowledging their sexual orientation to themselves and others. In another
of the sector are. We, as students, are innately affected by what happens to the academic staff that teach us, the administrative staff that support us and the countless other staffing areas that make our student experience what it is. We, as students, need to recognise that any changes to staffing structures ultimately affect the composition of our institutions. This in turn has a direct affect on the learning environments that the current and future students will find themselves in. I was very impressed by the recent student rally to protest the cuts to the education department at Waikato University, highlighting this very point of connected grievances as one that many students are aware of. A lack of staff means a lack of options and a lack of quality for us as students. Although no major cutbacks have been made at Wintec in recent times (that I am aware of), my tenure as President had exposed me to less than desirable working arrangements and contexts for the staff involved in our student experience.
word, university students in this vulnerable stage of “coming out” require
I believe we have a responsibility, as students, to stand with the other parties
much support and encouragement.
that make our student experience and learning environment what it is.
I hope that through this column, there will be increased awareness level about the existence of LGBTQIA community. While it may takes arduous efforts to challenge the stigmas and stereotypes associated to this community, you may simply start by being an ally to your queer friends. Offer them a helping hand, a friendly ear, while maintaining a positive attitude about sexual diversity. A trustworthy platform for them to express is sometimes, just what they have needed.
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Positive structural change cannot occur for our sector unless we present a united front that represents the voices of everyone involved. We need this united, common voice more than ever while we are facing a political agenda that seeks to impose a reductionist, managerial approach to education and call it 'productivity'.
Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE
PAK ’N SAVE HEAD CHEF CHICKEN CARBONARA INGREDIENTS
DIRECTIONS
700g Chicken breast – cubed
1. Bring a large pot of water to the boil, add the pasta and a pinch of salt.
250g Bacon – sliced
2. Lower the heat and leave to cook for around 10-15minutes.
300g Brown mushrooms – chopped
3. Heat a large pan with a dash of oil. Add the chopped chicken and cook on a medium heat.
Fettuccine or spaghetti pasta Carbonara sauce (I used pre-made Delmaine carbonara sauce or you can make your own!)
4. While the chicken is still cooking, add the bacon slices and cook until both are browned. 5. Once pasta is cooked, drain the water and tip back into the same pot. Pour in the carbonara sauce.
Salt and pepper
6. Add the cooked chicken and bacon to the pasta, then in the same pan, fry up the mushrooms.
Parmesan – grated
7. Add mushrooms and stir all the ingredients together. Leave on a medium heat until the sauce is hot.
Serves 4
8. Serve with a sprinkle of grated parmesan and garnish with parsley.
29
Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.
WINNER
He spent the early 2000s spiking up his fringe and wearing long-sleeved skull motif tees and knee length cargo shorts. She is a lil ball of sunshine who likes to sing (whether or not she sings well is totally up for debate) and rocks a 70’s vibe fringe. Since this is the Sex Issue of Nexus it seems as though our match should definitely reach orgasm together (Spoiler alert: they don’t. Irony is a bitch).
HE SAID
SHE SAID
I've been turned down before, but until tonight I've never, ever
Wednesday 13th July, I had woken up late for work (as usual)
been stood up. Usually girls have to meet me or at least see my
around 8am so my day had already started out flustered and
face before they realise how much of a dick I am. This girl didn't
unorganised. The night before was spent with my friends and a
even need that. All she knew was that I, like her, had signed up for
bottle of wine in which I had finished in just under an hour, so for
a Nexus Blind Date. Apparently that was enough. I had originally
today I felt like shit! After work had ended I slowly made my way
planned to play it cool, swagger in at 9 minutes past 7, slide off my
to home in a car that felt just as sick as me and together we entered
sunnies, tip the waitress a sly wink and slip into my seat opposite
the beautiful Ngaruawahia and crawled into bed, thus, missing my
a bombshell girl. However that didn't happen.
Blind Date and standing up who could be the love of my life!
My flat mate dropped me off, stone cold sober, wearing the clothes
To this boy, whoever you may be I do apologize 1000 times for
I had been working in all day, nervous as all hell and left me sitting,
not turning up last night, I can only imagine how embarrassed
gnawing my thumbnail at 6:59 on the dot. The nerves wore off
you must have been after 15, 20, 30 minutes of a no-show. I hope
after 10 minutes or so, after which I ordered my first drink. After
you still got to enjoy some free food and drinks and have pleasant
15 I ordered food. After 20 I ordered more drinks and called my
conversation at House on Hood.
buddy to let him know that we had a potential tab to use up. After 35 minutes of watching muted rugby alone I gave up, my pal came over and we ate our way through the rest of the tab. Pizza, burgers,
Again I’m sorry, I still believe that one day we can meet and connect like the universe intended.
fries and more fried chicken than I've seen outside a KFC rubbish
Yours truly,
bin. We were not experimental but we had a grand ol' time. No sex
Piece of shit x
or kissing or awkward small talk but House, your staff's banter is tops, your food is great and I will be back again with or without Nexus' help. To my potential Bae, fate got in our way, You stood me up today, but really that's okay. One day maybe I'll stop crying, and girls online might stop lying, Nexus mag those tabs they're buying, for true love, I will keep trying.
NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles
HOROSCOPES
WORDFIND O
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your excuse to get back on the piss!
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AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)
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This week you may find yourself having a chance
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Pluto is still in the sun’s orbit this month. He gave up on
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being the only Disney animal who couldn’t talk, and is
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no such luck for you. Your annoying neighbour with the sax
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has no plans to separate, and will probably just play louder.
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GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)
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Gemini, you’re an absolute gem. Diamonds are also a
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CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19) Suffering Re-O withdrawals? Friendship Day, Ice-cream Sandwich Day, and Beer Day all fall this week — there’s
encounter with a stingray in an aquarium, because ya know, aquarius, kinda sounds the same, fuck it, why not. PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)
trying his chance as an astronaut. ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Venus is in your zone this week, giving you extra strength. So no excuses for skipping the gym this week, get in there and make those gains. TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Mercury approaches maximum separation from the sun, but
gem, and they’re worth a lot more than you in monetary value. Plus are probably more desirable full stop.
Cheerleader
Babysitter
Yeasty
Micropenis
Steamy
Eiffel Tower
Labia
Smegma
Hymen
Moist
Fallopian
Spitroast
and wants you to know that “we don’t make deals”...
Chastity
Smut
Crumbhole
Felatio
spoiler alert for his book: “The Art of the Deal”.
Coitus
Cuckhold
Gooch
Circumcision
Sweaty
Tequila
Spank
Discharge
Daddy
Cunnilingus
Fondle
Buchanan
Ejaculate
Bondage
Student Village
Vibrator
CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Donald Trump is preparing to make America great again,
LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22) The stars are bright, and the probability that you will have a birthday in the next few weeks is incredibly high. How did I know that? #astrology. VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22) It appears that I had my star chart upside down last week, and that was not your soulmate in L.G.01, but Leo’s. This is why I do horoscopes, not match making. LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22) Jupiter is in your zone, and you need another coffee. Does having six coffees before lunch make you an addict? Nope, just a student. SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21) What seems like a problem, may actually be a blessing in disguise. Unless it involves Te Awamutu, nothing good can ever come of that place. SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21) Struggling to get into uni this semester? Take inspiration from Bill Murray, and be positive: “Don’t think about your errors or failures, otherwise you’ll never do a thing”. 32
Q
N.15 / V.48
SEX
SIMPLE PUZZLES 4 SIMPLE PEOPLE
Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE
SUDOKU 8
3
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7 2
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6 6
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MEDIUM
TRIVIAL
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EASY
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1
HARD
CODE CRACKER
a) Which 1969 Oscar winning film was X-rated in the USA? b) Which man banned the yearly carnaval in Venice?
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c) Who was born as Tom Riddle? 23
d) What is the most common name in nursery rhymes? e) In which game does one use a 'squidger'?
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23 6
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WORD TWIST
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horizontally, vertically or 16
diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.
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ANSWERS
Code Cracker
T
7
4
1.I 2.B 3.S 4.J 5.Z 6.C
I
24
2
13
Trivial
X
14
22
12
8
7.U 8.D 9.G 10.L 11.F 12.A
I
The letters must touch
23
9
a) Midnight Cowboy
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19
13.R 14.H 15.W 16.V 17.X
S
10
make from these letters?
24
2
b) Napoleon
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3
24
12
18.Y 19.N 20.Q 21.K 22.E
A
12
6
c) Voldemort
N
23
How many words can you
24
23.M 24.O 25.P 26.T
L
13
13
d) Jack
N
12
25
12
e) Tiddlywinks
V
8
1
2
33
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