Nexus 2016 Issue 19 by Nexus Magazine

N.19 / V.48

STAGE TO SCREEN PAGE 20

Join us on Kīngitanga Day

Proudly celebrating our unique relationships Nau mai, Haere mai

Kīngitanga Day is held by the University of Waikato for its communities. It is a day that recognises the relationships of the University with Waikato-Tainui and the Kīngitanga by engaging in a stimulating programme that showcases our distinctiveness as an intellectual, cultural and social community.

DATE:

Thursday 8 September 2016

TIME:

From 9am

VENUE:

University of Waikato, Hamilton campus

Come and enjoy a University-wide programme of presentations, panels, workshops, exhibitions, displays and performances.

GUEST PANEL:

In post-settlement New Zealand is kotahitanga possible? – a critical discussion about Māori unity.

Clarence Street 7am – 10pm, 7 days a week. Phone (07) 839-4056

Grainwaves 140g/150g

Tim Tams 165g-200g 2 for

V 710ml

Loaded E/Drink 1 Litre

Prices valid until Sunday 11 September 2016. Trade not supplied. Valid at PAK’nSAVE Clarence Street only.

THIS PRICE IS ON THE DOWN LOW

FEATURES 16 Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life Jard Wooldridge

18 New Zealand International Film Festival Richard Swainson

20 Stage to Screen James Raffan and Bronwyn Laundry

NEWS & OPINION

ARTS & CULTURE

FUN & GAMES

Lettuce

Covered

Entertainment

Uni News

Arts

Reviews

Nexus News

Auteur

Snapped

Sports

Your Space

Blind Date

CARE

Head Chef

Puzzles

COLUMNS

ON THE COVER

SHANTELLE ROULSTON

Expectations vs. Reality

Sundays

Half-Baked with Vitamin D

Butane Hash Oil

Nerd York Times

Remasters

Heil Hogan

Polite Pessimism

SAWIT

Public Service Announcement

New Locals

Foreign Films

EDITOR Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz DESIGN Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan

EDITORIAL LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS BRONWYN LAUNDRY

james@nexusmag.co.nz CONTRIBUTORS Grayson Maslin Tom Collopy Freddy Walker

I once had hopes of being a moviestar. *Cue violin music* At the tender age of five I was asked to feature in a Canadian supermarket commercial but I bitched out at the last minute and my mum, being the understanding person she is, let me. Silly woman.

Troy Anderson Onyx Lily Rory Davis Jared Wooldridge

I dreamt of marrying a beautiful Ryan (Gosling or Reynolds preferred) and living in a mansion

MDG

with a team of nannies to raise my pretentiously named and impeccably dressed children. I

Peter Dornauf

picked out red carpet dresses from runway shows and practised Oscar acceptance speeches

Dr. Richard Swainson

in the shower. I thought of clever anecdotes to tell chat show hosts and brainstormed names

Vitamin D

for my autobiography. Every time a drama teacher praised me or someone told me I reminded

Ross Cormack

them of Sharpay Evans from High School Musical I practically frothed with joy. And then I grew the fuck up.

Mihir Roy Sarah Hyde

Not to say people from little ol’ Aotearoa can’t make it in the ‘biz and go on to star in more

ADVERTISING

than a drunk driving ad or Shorty Street. If you have dreams of having your name in lights,

advertising@nexusmag.co.nz

keep on truckin’ ya little superstar. Aside from realising that I am a shit actress and I literally would not be able to handle a day of drama school without laughing in a lecturer’s face or punching someone over a game of Whizz Bang Bounce, I came to the conclusion that being stalked like a moviestar would fucking suck.

ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to do some blow with a solid gold straw at one of Elton John’s

OFFICES

after parties. I’d also like to have a walk-in wardrobe dedicated purely to shoes. But overall,

Ground Floor, Student Union Building

I think I’m happy living the simple life of relative anonymity, free of publicists, agents,

Gate One, University of Waikato

managers, stylists and assholes. Okay, maybe there are still some assholes, but they’re way

Knighton Road, Hamilton

more manageable than the paparazzi. On that cheerful note, welcome to the Film Issue! We’ve got something for everyone. If you're a theatre geek and musicals make your heart sing, turn to page 20 for Stage to Screen, a list of the top 10 movie musical adaptations. If you’re a film buff who lives off a diet of Marlboros and coffee as black as your soul, you’ll enjoy Richard Swainson’s feature on the New Zealand International Film Festival (page 18). And finally, if you’re a Peter Pan type with a love of kids’ films and a pathological fear of graduating uni and becoming just like your parents (when you grow up your heart just dies), Jared Wooldridge has your back on page 16. Sit back, relax, turn off your cellphone, get your popcorn and overpriced Maltesers and turn the page.

ISSUE 19 FILM 4 SEPTEMBER 2016

xoxo Bron

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

RESPONSE: ‘GAY’ MEANS HAPPY UNIQ MEMBER

STUDY BREAK TOTALLY BEHIND

Though it is somewhat overdue, we wanted to offer feedback on this particular piece of Lettuce to the Editor. The issue with our room — you are not wrong, it is somewhat cramped and dingy but to be honest, this is soooo not our fault.

Any chance you can chase up/ complain/ find out why students only got a one week break, but still had the same workload through it????? Totally not had enough time to get half my to do list done, and that's without having any down time :(

The rooms are allocated by the WSU and believe us when we say we would love to have a different one, but for now we just have to be content with what we have. In terms of dinginess, we have done our best to dress it up a bit but like all student groups, our resources are limited and better spent elsewhere. Sardines in a sad rainbow can? I like the analogy but…

It was a wacky calendar year with a bunch of public holidays falling in A Semester. You still get 12 weeks of classes and still finish at the same time. The alternative would mean semester finished, later or you got one less week off during Semester Break. Brittany

ouch. The broken couches were also provided by the ever–benevolent Waikato Students’ Union; though they were not initially broken they have deteriorated over time. Fear not though, the future for them is bright because one will get a complete makeover during Hamilton Pride Week courtesy of the Eco–Emporium! Come check it out ;)

NEXUS IS OUTDATED SASSY MOTHERFUCKER

It is worth noting that the clusterfuck of people that generally turn up

You know that printing a magazine is bad as for the Environment. Bloody

to the first meeting of the semester (as was the case on the day you

save the trees m8. Your so outdated and irrelevant. It's obvious that your

paid us a visit) tend for the most part to be an infrequent presence, that

editor is old. I mean, you don't even have gifs in your mag.

is assuming they come back at all. Those of us that comprise the core membership of UniQ are desperate for new (regular) members whenever

Bloody heck. Ouch. Brittany

we can get them, but we can admit that our ability to retain them by presenting the group as a friendly and welcoming place is perhaps not what it ought to be right now. We acknowledge your grievance and we understand your initial experience with us has not been a positive one, but we hope you will give us the chance to rectify that. In future, please write to us directly! Slandering us in a public forum is probably a good outlet for you but our reputation as a group shouldn’t have to suffer due to one negative experience. Thanks.

STUDENT CULTURE STONER SAM I think Bongo Cafe should just accept its fate and rename itself Bong Cafe. Can we also rename Momento to Momenslow? Proud Espresso Plus Customer/Lyam

I said it to them and I’ll say it to you: it’s not really my place to have an opinion on this. Also — Happy Pride Week. Brittany

BORING DATE DISGRUNTLED READER I’m sick of the people on the blind date having a “nice time” with a “nice person” and then going home and continuing their “nice lives”.

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the

Sometimes something interesting happens (Drunk girl and Pokemon

writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content

hunter was a good time) but there’s been no BJs in the Museum carpark

or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent

lately and I feel a bit ripped off.

to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are

If you’re really feeling the need to give someone a BJ in a carpark I’m

the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to

sure the sexually frustrated masses on Yik Yak are more than happy

publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person,

to oblige. Lyam

or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

N.19 / V.48

FILM

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Engineering student Shalini Guleria has won the WETA Digital Gold scholarship

ONYA

TOP PRESENTER

(worth $2500) for her top presentation at the Eureka awards.

3MT WINNERS Stevie Noe and Bianca Lawrie were the top presenters at last month’s Three Minute Thesis competition. Stevie won first place and Bianca came second.

GREAT ENGINEERS Burgert Conradie (pictured), Ellen Plumtree and Jessica Xiao have each won a Beca award for their outstanding achievements in engineering.

WORLD VISION AMBASSADOR Hillary scholar and management student Zoë Lapwood has been selected as a ROBOTIC HAND RESEARCH

regional lead and ambassador for World

PhD student Mahonri Owen is one of two people in New Zealand

Vision.

to be awarded a $30,000 Rose Hellaby Postgraduate Scholarship. He’s developing a brain-controlled prosthetic hand. Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.

NEED A DOCTOR?

TEACH ENGLISH OVERSEAS

Join us on Thursday 8 September, from

Student Health on campus offers all

Pathways College offers a five-week

9am on campus, for a day of celebrating

enrolled students confidential and

CELTA course to get you qualified to teach

our unique identity and heritage. There’ll

professional medical services. Most

English in schools and universities around

be presentations, panels, workshops,

services are free once you register. If you

the world. Classes start 14 November. Visit

exhibitions, displays and performances, so

haven’t had a flu jab already, visit Student

waikato.ac.nz/go/celta for more info and

nau mai, haere mai!

Health to get one for $15. Visit waikato.

to enrol.

Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/kingitanga for

ac.nz/go/student-health for more info.

more details.

ECO EMPORIUM ON CAMPUS

BE YOUR OWN BOSS THIS SUMMER

STUDY IN ASIA

Trade or sell old goods, connect with

Do you have an idea for a business or

Apply now for a Prime Minister's

volunteer groups and learn how to reduce

project you want to get off the ground?

Scholarship for Asia (worth up to $250 a

or upcycle waste at the Eco Emporium on

Make it happen with the $5000 Start-Up

week) to study in Asia next year. Visit

campus. Go to G.10 (the Cow Shed) behind

Waikato scholarship programme. Visit

bit.ly/studyinasia for more details and

the Student Union Building to check it out.

waikato.ac.nz/go/start-up for details.

email studentexchange@waikato.ac.nz

Applications close 7 October.

for exchange options in Asia. Applications close 30 September.

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

SEE YOU AT KĪNGITANGA DAY

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

MAYORAL CANDIDATE PAULA SOUTHGATE: INTO POSITIVISM JAMES RAFFAN

Thank you for taking the time out of your schedule of baby kissing, hand

facilities become available. But think wider than just turf, with Hamilton growing

shaking and senior citizen placating to do a quick interview with student media.

rapidly we will need more sports facilities, so Waikato students can play and

To prepare for this interview Nexus read through all your campaign material and your website. It’s the fourth time our research interns have had to trawl through candidate material and I don’t think there is any way of breaking this news to you nicely. Two of them died from type two diabetes dealing with the sickly sweet optimistic view of Hamilton you present. You are running a “positive about Hamilton campaign”. If it was your intention to plagiarise your entire campaign philosophy from the movie Annie was there ever any thought to also stealing the haircut? It may play well with voters? There is a lot to be said for optimism and positivity. Who wants a leader who is most often a nay-sayer? That stands against more than they stand for. As for the hair, well I learned to love my wavy, unpredictable mop a long time ago. Good leaders are authentically themselves. I’d rather be sweet than sour on Hamilton’s future. Will the sun actually come out tomorrow? Yes, it always does. In respect to Hamilton, we are a great city already. There are some storm clouds and showers to go through (affordable housing being one). I have shown I can deliver projects with success. I worked with the University on student bus concessions and after a longish overcast period, the sun broke through. The Hamilton Halo Project is another shining example of a success I was part of. For a really brief period I was excited when you began to talk about investing in green grass that you can roll up… then I realised you were talking about AstroTurf. Why should students care? Students play sports don’t they? Many excel at it too. Sport Waikato identified some needs for the city in their Regional Sports Facilities Plan and identified the need for more turfs. The existing hockey facilities are overloaded and I know some elite players (students) who have to train late into the evening when 4

N.19 / V.48

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enjoy sport or become our sports stars of tomorrow. Your campaign slogan “Let's get positive about Hamilton” makes us wonder, have you ever been to Fairfield, Paula? If so do you want to change slogans? Yes, I am often there. There is no doubt that there are inequities of lifestyle and opportunity across our city (as in all cities). That is why I advocate for a focus on communities. What is right for Fairfield will be different to what is right for Frankton, or for Rototuna. That’s why I support a Community Engagement committee, and working alongside community to deliver local results that matter. Recently, in what turned out to be your last act as a member of the Waikato Regional Council you took a photo with our VC, Quiggsey in a bus. We noticed his hands were in his pockets the entire time. Did you get the sense this is the closest he has ever been to middle class people and he was worried he might “catch it”? I am still working for Regional Council right up to October. I am 100% focused on the important work around protecting the water quality of the Waikato. Electioneering happens evenings and weekends. Mr Quigley and I worked very collaboratively on the student subsidies, and also on a more strategic partnership between WRC and Uni. When I am on campus (seeing my daughter) I often see him alongside students in the café. Seems pretty approachable. Seriously though the timing seems a little too coincidental. Students had been asking for cheaper transport options for decades and you are seen to deliver them days before filing your intention to run, is it the policy of candidates to ignore student voices or do we just have to just wait for periods when people need votes to improve our quality of life? Perhaps, you need to catch some positivism? I admit you are right, it took over three years to achieve, but that was not due to not trying. I have been a constant

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

advocate for student transport for a decade. I have to say, after my first meeting with Neil Quigley, the wheels on this issue really started moving! And we haven’t finished yet. Look out for the new improvements to accessing buses on campus….

SIDEBAR QUICK QUESTIONS

work in action. It is all about persistence and good on the Student Union for hanging in there. What are you proud of from your time at the Waikato Regional Council (WRC)? Yay, a positive question. You know how I like those. I have done so much over 15

To finish off we thought we would ask you some short answer questions to make you seem more human…

years and I believe I have worked very hard, represented Hamilton and the region

What was the last film you watched? Haven’t been to a movie

well. The Halo Project (I was on the team that developed this) to re-introduce

for ages! Video at home: 12 Years a Slave, (made me cry).

the Tui will always warm my heart. My contributions to: public transport (moving Hamilton for 2M passengers a year on old dunger buses to 5M on a modern fleet; soon to be 100% wheelchair accessible, have full WIFI and CTV); transport planning

What was the last gig / concert you attended? Mi Sex, Dragon, Angels at Claudelands.

(SH1 and road safety); protecting and improving water quality and coastal marine

What is the most embarrassing thing in your wardrobe? My

protection. My leadership on advisory groups for Local Government and being

dressing gown, ugly but warm.

strong voice for our local issues to Government in Wellington. How can we turn Hamilton into a thriving student city? Deal with the affordable homes issue (rental and ownership) and continue to improve bus connection with the town (many students work, live and play there).

What book could you read over and over again? Goodnight Mr Tom (as I read it to my daughters when were young so there is nostalgia). What is the stupidest thing you've ever done on a bet or dare? Singing at the Blues Club — was terrifying, give me public

On your website it says that you believe Hamiltonians deserve good transport choices, including public transport, cycleways and walkways. Shouldn’t that be “better transport choices.” Given you were the Chair of the WRC or are you suggesting in your entire tenure there we never made it to “good”? If that’s the case why should we believe that in the weeks since you left the WRC you’re now finally in a position to fix the problem?

speaking any day. What was your craziest University story? A road trip to Wellington as part of the University basketball team, we hired a van and I was designated driver. Longest, noisiest, silly journey ever with lots of singing Madonna songs! Those were the days.

Fair point about the word “better”. Overall Hamilton has good choices. Some parts are excellent and some need improvement. Some aren’t there yet but will need to be in place for a growing city. The WRC is not a transport agency but facilitates the Regional Transport Committee where it has two seats. I personally have been a strong advocate for the improvements we have seen on SH1 through this committee. I have sometimes been a minority voice for cycling and walking but have pushed for progress and we are seeing progress. I have lobbied government directly on issues related passenger transport (buses and trains). In fact, as I am still working at WRC I am talking directly with Ministers about the imminent removal of MOE funded school buses so that the ratepayers and fare payers here are not impacted. As Mayor of Hamilton I will continue to look for more opportunities to, as you say, make city transport “better”. Recently NZUSA put together a Student City Charter. We have come up with some of our own. Can you run us through your positions on some of the issues raised point by point: The provision of light rail services to allow students from Huntly, Te Awamutu, Tokoroa and other places access to study options? I support the bus initiatives that are underway or planned to bring students from these areas. I will continue to advocate to Government for rail improvements. A rental Warrant of Fitness including heating? Support improving standards for all rentals. A higher minimum wage? (technically not a local council issue but indulge us) Yes, not a council issue but I would like to see people paid fairly. (That includes my daughter at the supermarket for long hours!) Recycling of Pizza Boxes? I’d love to see it, not sure how. What about reusable pizza “boxes”... now someone clever could work on that? Permanent bottle bins in student areas? Yes.

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

WILLIAM STILL GIVES A FUCK For the second week in a row we needed a student-ish human to give an official opinion on something in a news section. For a second week in a row we figured “why leave the office?” Here’s what WSU Vice-President William Lewis has to say... Are annual increases in tuition fees reasonable? Well I guess it depends what it’s for. If it genuinely costs the University more to deliver tuition because of things like inflation, increased operating costs or higher quality services then we probably have to accept it. The worry is that annual increases tend to become an arbitrary way to use market power to squeeze a

NEWS TUITION INCREASES AT UOW GRAYSON MASLIN

little bit more out of students year on year for no good reason. How might an increase to student services levy impact students? The WSU? Nexus? If anyone reading this knows how much their student services levy is, I’ll be extremely surprised. WSU has talked to a lot of student focus groups over the

As of 2017, tuition fees are set to rise by 2% for domestic students at University of Waikato (UoW). This is the highest percentage increase of annual fees allowed for New Zealand Universities. For students this will mean an increase of $115 for students in undergraduate studies in Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS), and $143 for areas of study such as “priority engineering”, according to documents provided to the University Council.

last month consulting on our New Vision for Campus and we keep hearing that it doesn’t really matter how much it is — as long as students can see the tangible value they get for it around campus. I reckon the higher the levy is, the more the University can afford to contract WSU to do and the quality of student experience that we can deliver improves exponentially. The same principle applies to Nexus. Given the increase in fees, is it reasonable for students to expect increases

With this increase in tuition fees the university expects to raise an extra $940,000

in quality of education? Is it reasonable to expect improved facilities?

in revenue.

Hell yes! Not only should we see what we get for our money, we actively want to

Under the Annual Maximum Fee Movement (AMFM) policy, which was introduced in 2011, universities cannot raise their fees by more than 2%. “The university made

see improvements made, such as more spaces on campus for students and clubs to take ownership of.

the only choice it could under the current circumstances,” Vice-Chancellor Neil Quigley said, “especially since the university has planned capital projects and associated building costs are looming.” Due to UoW having “substantially lower” fees in several areas when the AMFM began, they were stuck as a base rate for the increases. "This caused the university to only fall further behind with percentage increases", Chancellor Jim Bolger said.

WHAT THE STUDENTS SAY 1. Do tuition fees influence your enrolment decisions? 2. Is 2% a reasonable increase to your fees if it provides newer facilities on campus? 3. Is your student loan already so large you just don’t even give a fuck about your debt increasing?

"Two per cent on a small amount is less than two per cent on a large amount." The increase is lower than what it could have been if it were to occur in previous years as the Government has pushed back the allowed increase. A report from Andrew Mckinnon, Chief Financial Officer of UoW, said “the maximum allowed rise was 3 per cent for 2016 and 4 per cent for the period covering 2011 to 2015.” Justification for the University of Waikato’s decision to make the maximum increase was a lack of consumer price index (CPI) and expected increases in salary costs, in part due to staff promotions. UoW is not alone in approving a 2% increase for domestic student fees in

Ash, 22, BA 1. No, because I'm irresponsible and think of that as future Ash's problem. 2. Sure thing chicken wing. 3. Hahahahahaha yes (fuck my life) (help me) (I better be successful). Jasmine, 23, BA 1. Nope. 2. If the newer facilities are actually going to be available while I’m here. 3. Yep.

2017, with several other New Zealand universities having already approved the increase.

Georgia, 19, BSocSci

UoW has also approved an increase to the compulsory student services levy.

1. No.

UoW’s fees and charges are yet to be approved, due to the possibility of changes to the Student Health Service, which are up for discussion. These changes could include students paying a small amount towards consultations and longer opening hours.

N.19 / V.48

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2. I don't really use the on campus facilities. I only go into uni for my classes and then try to get out of there as fast as possible so I don't think it would be fair to charge everyone for facilities only a limited amount of people would use. 3. I'm pretty much just at the point now where it's just like why not just pile it on and add another couple thousand.

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

SPORTS OPINION BREAKING NEWS: AUSTRALIAN’S ARE DOUCHEBAGS FREDDY WALKER

SPORTS OPINION NEVER DOUBT GREATNESS TOM COLLOPY

After watching Nick Phipps throw away Malakai Fekitoa’s boot in the second Bledisloe cup test, calls about sportsmanship have been all over the media. Australian commentator and known

Going into Daffodil Race Day at Hastings on the 27th of August there was a lot of talk surrounding the first Group one of the new racing season. Much of the talk was about the favourite, the ever formidable six year old Gelding Kawi and whether or not he could win the Makfi Challenge Stakes for the second year running. Why would you have doubts about a multiple Group One Winner you may ask? Well here’s why... Hastings came up a slow seven on race day, both of Kawi’s previous starts had resulted in a third and a fifth, although the fifth came about due to a relegation for dangerous riding by Jonathon Parkes. I didn’t think Kawi would run his best race in these conditions and I also thought it would bring other horses into the race such as Hasslehoof, who has a good record on slow tracks. Another reason for doubting if Kawi would win, was his disrupted lead-up to the race. Kawi’s season was cut short in February after a fifth in the Haunui Farms Classic at Otaki. This was due to a respiratory issue which was causing him to over-race. He received surgery to fix the problem in his time off and was meant to line up in the Group Two Lisa Chittick Fox Bridge Plate at Te Rapa on the 13th of August. He was then scratched after hurting his cannon bone during his work in the week leading up to the race, this meant that Kawi was coming into the Group One fresh up, which I didn’t think was ideal. He was also coming up against a quality field. Valley Girl had beaten him home last year at Te Rapa and was impressive, winning at Ruakaka fresh up over 1200m. Stolen Dance had been runner up twice to Kawi in Group One races last season and there were Group Two winning horses such as Long Champ and Mime in the field.

pest, Phil Kearns, kicked off the debate a few weeks back by saying that the All Blacks aren’t sportsmanlike at all, pointing to the Hurricanes apparent no-show in terms of sportsmanship towards the Lions after the Super Rugby final. But it is truly Australians who aren’t sportsmanlike, and I’m not just talking about Phipps either. I define sportsmanship as what goes on after the final whistle is blown, or the contest is pretty much decided. If the battle is intense and a player is doing all he can to get in his opponent’s head, then fair play. But if the battle is over, or as well as over, and a player is being bitter, then that’s unsportsmanlike. Phipps' boot throwing is an example of Australians being unsportsmanlike. The Bledisloe test was done — the All Blacks had a healthy lead with not long to go. Phipps shouldn’t have thrown the boot. Australian cricketer David Warner punching Joe Root in a bar is an example of being unsportsmanlike. The match was over, and he had no business being involved with Joe Root, let alone punching him. Kiwis on the other hand are very sportsmanlike in general. Nikki Hamblin stopping and helping a fellow runner at the Olympics was sportsmanlike [Editor’s Note: Or was it sportswomanlike?]. We save our mind games for the field, but straight after we are always ready for a beer and a yarn — something Australians

What did I learn? Never to doubt greatness. Kawi jumped the gates and ran three

could learn from. And no, Phil Kearns, the Hurricanes may not

wide for majority of the trip before finding the one out running line just before

have immediately shown respect to the Lions but hell, they were

the home corner. He then found the middle of the track down the straight and

celebrating a long awaited title. I guarantee players from both

stomped home for a convincing win, wearing the Cancer Society Colours and

sides went out for a beer later.

earning a $1000 for the charity. Alan Sharrock was confident coming into the race and after that run he had every right to be.

So not only do we beat the Aussies on the field, but we beat them off it too. I’m sure international teams of all sporting codes

Kawi will now line up in the Windsor Park Plate over 1600m on the 16th of

look forward to the on-field battles with both sides, but I am also

September in what will probably be a similar field. There is no surprise that his

sure that they know who they’d rather have a beer with after

futures odds have dropped from $5 to $2.20 in the race after his performance.

the game. 7

. G . A × M . . G . A A × × M M . . G . G . A A G . × A M . × G . A ×A.G.M .M G . M . A G . × A M . G G . . A A × × M M . . .G M×A.G A.G . × G . M . A G . A M . × .G .M ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING THE 2016 WSU AGM WILL BE HELD ON WEDNESDAY 21ST SEPTEMBER AT 1PM

The consultation document, “A New Vision for Campus”, has been distributed widely and students have had opportunities to give their opinions on it. From this process a strategic plan is being created which will form the basis for the WSU’s annual plans and budgets over the next few years. The AGM adopts and approves the first of these annual plans for 2017.

Other business which will be conducted at this meeting includes: presentation of the annual report and audited accounts for 2015, and approval of directors honoraria for next year.

Y SPORTS PRE

SENTS

E T A M I T UL IN T E R -F A C U L T

E E B S I R F & TAKE HOME ULE THEM ALL FOR 2016 R L IL W M A TE ONE LTY SHIELD THE INTER-FACU

OPEN COURT SPORTS.

MBER 1 4 TH S E P TE 1 AM 2 0 1 6 FR O M 0

Volleyball Table TeNNIS

WeDNeSDayS, 1PM - 2PM THURSDayS, 1PM - 2PM

Free For all UoW stUdents | Unirec sports Hall

Get closer to the action in the Green Zone

Honouring the Legacy

HGB_1008_NEXUS_A

Adults $45 | Children $22

NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME

HOTTEST TO THE NOTTEST

“She's someone I've been in love with since I was 22 years old.”

• Sudden influx of Vitamin D • Friendly people who buy your

– Drake doesn’t realise he’s Friendzoned as fuuuuuck.

junk off Trademe • Googling your symptoms and

“I am Kanye West. That feels really great to say, especially this year.”

not thinking you’re gonna die • White girls with themed socks • When your lecturer can’t be

– Kanye West has been masquerading as a douchebag this whole time. Oh wait.

fucked lecturing and plays Blackadder

“She was super fun. She was on a completely different vibe. It was awesome. She's a lot of fun”

• Getting accused of witchcraft because you like metal music • Crazy Nexus fangirls from Wintec

– Calvin Harris speaks highly of Deputy Editor, Bronwyn Laundry. • Skipping lunch then getting really fucking hungry in class

“Everything he does is so amazing.”

• The sub-par nudes constantly

– Rihanna has a passion for the art of Prick-asso.

sent to the Nexusmag snapchat • People getting in the library elevator with you

BEST OF THE WEB NEXUS COVER ARTISTS

CALEB MCNABB – ISSUE ONE @GYPSYEYEOFBUD

TIM INGLE – ISSUE TWO @CRANKILLUSTRATION

ALVIN BROWN – ISSUE ELEVEN @EXPLOREAUTHENTIC

ABIGAIL JENSEN – ISSUE FIFTEEN @CELLULARVICE

Caleb is a fine arts graduate turned

McCall’s

“Illustration,

This page is straight up fucking

Big Sis’s illustrations centre on the

makeup artist who posts a hell of a

Animation, Claymation, Masturbation”,

stupid. If you’re interested in cartoons

experiences of women — most overtly

lot of drag selfies. That and regular

which is a fairly apt description. An

with an excessive amount of fingers,

with red stained underwear crotches

selfies. His Instagram aesthetic is

eclectic combination of mixed-media

or very long and wobbly arms then

in otherwise black and white images.

rainbow-unicorn meets Gaga/RuPaul

art with a style reminiscent of Beavis

“your friend chris (simpsons artist)”

The subject matter is fairly consistent,

fanatic with a dash of WIP posts and

and Butthead. Her art ranges in theme

has got your back. All images are

spreading from periods and vaginas

shameless self-promo.

from sexuality, to existentialism, to

captioned with banal comments, and

to sex and feminism.

politics.

occasionally the comics veer political.

N.19 / V.48

FILM

bio

reads

"Film lovers are sick people." François Truffaut

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

APP YIKYAK ONYX LILY

Once upon a time there was an app called YikYak. Its unique selling point was that it was anonymous and location based. You could log in and see peeps from your hood chatting about such lofty topics as when is the assignment due for POLS104; the girl wearing the clothes at the place is super hot, and Marketing Mark is doing something again. It was occasionally racist, it was often misogynistic, but generally it was a sweet and reliable diversion from taking notes in class. Sometimes it also helped someone find a buddy, get life advice or figure out where the hell FIC is anyway. Yakkers felt like part of a family, and with “My Herd” enabled you could keep up with your fam’s shenanigans no matter where in the world you ended up. If you posted a great Yak, you were even rewarded with being listed as “Hot”. But then they killed it. No longer anonymous, “Hot” yaks gone and they axed “My

GAME DOOM

Herd” (then brought it back, but crap), the oldest scrollable yaks are now days or weeks old rather than hours. All the cool kids have switched allegiance to Jodel. I suggest you do too.

TROY ANDERSON

I realise that the Doom remake came out over a year ago, but I’ve only just now gotten around to playing it. First experiences were good. You start by waking up in what I can only assume is Hell’s drunk tank from getting too ruthless in the last game, and proceed to smash your way out and lay waste to everything in the room.

FILM BEN-HUR JARED WOOLDRIDGE

Doom’s primary focus is on the recreating the classic fastpaced combat style from your retro 90s shooters such as Quake and OG Doom. I’m amazed at how well this has been

Now I’m more generous than most, I’ll wait until a remake comes out, then decry

done considering the state of today’s gaming industry. There're

it as pointless. Ben-Hur is pointless. Mind you, many younger people might not

secrets and key card hunting aplenty and there’s literally none

even be aware it is a remake (of a 1959 film which was, itself, a remake), but even

of that reloading business which plagues modern shooters.

if you’ve never heard of Ben-Hur before, this movie is pointless. And terrible. Not

You regain health from performing glory kills (don’t ask) which

unwatchable mind you, just something I’d never choose to watch. If it was the only

reward playing aggressively and punish playing like a little bitch.

thing on TV, I would consider the outdoors. It’s just so utterly dull.

This leaves you to run and gun and otherwise massacre and bludgeon at your leisure.

So, as the tale goes, our bland hero Ben-Hur, a jewish nobleman living in Roman Judea, has a falling out with his childhood friend Messala, after Ben-Hur takes

This must be one of the first shooters this decade where

the fall for an assassination attempt on the governor. He’s then sold into slavery,

the enemies haven’t been Russians, Arabs or some other

and begins plotting his revenge. Oh, and Jesus. Jesus is also there sometimes.

ethnic minority completely outskilled and outgunned by the

Actual Jesus, too, not “in our hearts” or anything like that. Ben-Hur is just such a

protagonist. Gaming authorities seem to have far less issue with

boring hero though, motivated solely by revenge. By the end, I was rooting for his

all the graphic violence than usual. This is likely on account of

nemesis, Messala.

“it’s just killing demons”, to which the reply was likely: “Sweet, nothing to read into there”.

The film does try some action though, in an epic naval battle and chariot race, but it takes too long to get to these scenes, and everything they’re surrounded by

As far as plot is concerned, it’s not all that interesting, all you need

just doesn’t fit right with the sudden bursts of action. Especially in a film which,

to know is that you’re there to show those demons what for. If you

given the amount of Jesus, is a lot more religious than your usual blockbuster fare.

absolutely have to have a plot to justify the non-stop rampage,

A film which not even Morgan Freeman can save, in the end, it’s just bland and

there are scores of audio logs to listen to on the database but

pandering. It’s blandering.

you can almost hear the game sigh impatiently waiting for you to strap your balls back on and resume the massacre. Long story short, it’s above average and a great way to kill an hour or two. 12

N.19 / V.48

FILM

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

MUSIC UNINVITED BY MALLRAT LYAM BUCHANAN

Mallrat draws upon a variety of very different styles. She takes the ‘careless’ vocals, and spoken word flow, which is typical of artists such as Allday, and combines it with elements that you’d expect to hear in some sub genre of ‘-wave’. Obviously these inspirations are taken and twisted in her own unique way, producing a sound which catches the attention of listeners enough to not skip it immediately. ‘For Real’ is definitely the strongest track on this album. She plays it safe enough to not immediately scare off potential interest, the unproduced/natural style she goes for in the vocals actually sounds fitting and flows far smoother than in any of

THEATRE TITUS ANDRONICUS MDG

the other pieces. This isn’t to say that these tracks are bad, I just think ‘Sunglasses’ is trying a little too hard to sound like 2012 Lana Del Rey. Tracks such as ‘Suicide Blonde’ would be so much stronger if there was a slightly different approach to its execution, maybe with time this is something we’ll see. Luckily she’s a relatively new name to the scene so this definitely won't be the last you hear of Mallrat.

Where: Meteor Theatre When: Aug 26 - Sept 3

Want to listen to listen for yourself? Jump on Spotify or any other major streaming service.

Tickets: $15/$12 Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus is back on in Hamilton for the first time in over a decade and in fine form. The titular Titus returns from a 10 year war, with Tamora, Queen of the Goths, her sons, and her lover Aaron, in tow as prisoners. What follows are struggles with dedication, madness, the body politic and the cycle of revenge that leaves few standing by the end of the final meal.

DESTINATION WHAKAPAPA SKI FIELD RORY DAVIS

Director Pip Smith has utilised some of Hamilton’s best Shakespearean talent for this show to good effect, including

Are you tired of rolling around the slums of Hamilton? Are you wishing that you

Benny Marama in a standout performance as Tamora’s

were the coolest kid on campus? Or perhaps (by some miracle) you still have a

lover and self-confessed villain Aaron who slinks, charged

reasonable chunk of your course related costs left over. If this is the case then

and dangerous, across the stage. As Titus, Alec Forbes is a

why don’t you blow the remainder of your bank account on a weekend up the

sobering powerhouse, like a storm breaking over the sea.

mountain where instead of rolling in assignments you can roll around in some

Titus’s daughter Lavinia, played by Genevieve Sheffield, finds

powdery goodness.

her footing late in the first half and her distressed presence in the second half makes for intoxicating viewing. Honourable mentions are also due to the transformations of Philip Garrity and Ross MacLeod as Tamora’s sons Demetrius and Chiron, as well as the pompous and greedy Saturninus as played by Mark Houlahan. The supporting performances in the cast of over 20 are of varying abilities and sadly most are unmemorable, but there

Whether you are a mountain veteran or someone that has never seen snow before Whakapapa Ski field should have something to tantalise your taste buds. Located in the middle of the national park, just over an hour outside of Taupo, the Whakapapa ski field boasts a wide variety of runs for the expert and novice alike. Unfortunately for the peckish amongst us the cost of food and drinks up the mountain is quite expensive (i.e. will cost one soul plus your mum’s virginity for a small Mars bar). Plan your meals accordingly.

is a beating heart in this play well worth the ticket price.

Other than the misleadingly named Snow Planet up in Auckland, Whakapapa ski

Attention has been paid to the holistics of staging, especially

field is also one of the two only places in the North Island where you can ski or

lighting and costumes; while the live quasi-rock opera music

snowboard. So if you are thinking of giving the sport a go then Whakapapa ski

paints a sonic background and enriches some moments

field is probably your best option anyway.

it distracts from others, particularly when issues of actor projection are at hand. Go in expecting minimalist staging, a bizarre feverdream sequence and admittedly, little blood for a famously bloody play

NO MINATION S A R E N OW OPE N EXPRESSIONS OF INTEREST ARE SOUGHT FOR THE 2017 WSU BOARD OF DIRECTORS TO FIND OUT MORE EMAIL ADMIN@WSU.ORG.NZ NOMINATIONS CLOSE FRIDAY 16TH, 4PM

Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

ARTS GRABBING ART PETER DORNAUF

Not very often a painting stops me in my tracks. I’ve seen a

Never say nothing good comes out of Palmerston North

lot and liked a lot but there are the ones that grab you by the

because this is where urban, detribalized, Māori, Kelcy

scruff of the neck or the throat or the balls and says, look at

Taratoa hails from. Bold, graphic imagery taken straight

me you tosser. That happened twice just recently.

off some media sourced visuals and reworked into a sort

First time was at Skinroom Gallery in Frankton (123 Commerce Street) with the work of Wintec student, Rachel Peary. The moment I entered the space it was love at first sight. Well, admiration, fixation, the aesthetic pulses pumping, call it what you will. Delicate abstracts on

of semi sci-fi street art manner, replete with pop art urban references and comic book figures. The artist mixes these up to create a collage of contemporary allusions that sometimes are overlaid with newspaper or filmic formatting. He could be described as a Zena Elliott on steroids.

stretched linen, perfectly weighted, harmonious colours.

This is a show curated by Craig McClure and Matt Blomeley

Yum. And yes, dear reader, I bought her, (the work). Very

and collected together under the title Katharsis. It’s a mix of

modestly priced for a man of very modest means.

works of young and more established artists with many of the works showing a strong graphic element.

Second time was on campus at the latest Calder and Lawson show where I saw a large painting by Kelcy Taratoa on the subject of mass surveillance. It wasn’t the subject that attracted me so much as the treatment of the subject.

AUTEUR MOVIE MOMENTS RICHARD SWAINSON

The oldest artist is Denys Watkins. He’s been around since the early 70s, his most memorable work appearing in the 90s involving a kind of Everyman figure engaged in sly allegorical activities. Since then he’s gone completely

How to describe it? It was painting by numbers, meets

abstract and the piece in the show is a recent example,

collage, meets photorealism, meets graphic commercial

entitled, Twilight Sparkle. Abstraction tends to operate

text. Absolutely delicious. A complete concoction of styles

down the serious end of the spectrum but Watkins manages

brought together on a riff to create a stunning hybrid. Or to

to bring a playful, decorative and whimsical element into his

put it another way, a graphic, hard-edged, hyperreal creation.

work which has become his signature tune of recent years.

Recently I was gifted a book which invites its owner to

toward her potential lover then past him, without making eye

make a list of “the best movie moments of all time”. What

contact, all to the tune of Anton Karas' low key but decidedly

exactly is a “movie moment”? Such is the complexity of the

ironic zither music. Even the leaves falling from the trees seem

medium that you answer this question in a number of ways.

to contribute to this moment's poignancy.

A movie moment can be a single shot or an entire sequence. It can draw its strength from the surrounding narrative or aesthetically stand alone. It can relate to the angle of the camera or its movement, the composition of the scene, the rhythm of the editing, a lighting effect or the intensity of an

Some movie moments require a degree of knowledge beyond the film itself to fully experience their power. The final shot of The Searchers (1956) — John Wayne framed in a door that is about to shut — is enhanced if you realise that the pose he strikes is a homage to Harry Carey, an actor who was a mentor

actor's performance.

to both Wayne himself and the film's director, John Ford.

In the shortlisting process I found myself selecting moments

Carey's widow was standing just off camera, tears in her eyes.

using all of these criteria. Some justly famous sequences

I chose another final shot for my number one movie moment.

would clearly make most cineastes' Top 20: the shower scene

You perhaps need to have seen the entirety of Charles

in Psycho (1960), the Odessa Steps massacre in Battleship

Chaplin's City Lights (1931) to appreciate its genius. The

Potemkin (1925) or the bone-into-spacecraft jump cut in

Tramp, Chaplin's trademark character, has anonymously

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). Other selections were more

helped a blind flower girl to regain her sight. The end of

subjective, relating to my own personal enthusiasms. The

the film involves her recognition of his identity and then —

last shot in The Third Man (1949), for example, I find perfectly

crucially — his response to this. Chaplin frames himself in

realised: a stationary camera observes a scene of slow

extreme close-up, registering a look of awe, love and the pure

burning, anti-romanticism as a woman walks a great distance

joy of human connection. It's magic.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE SHREK IS LOVE, SHREK IS LIFE JARED WOOLDRIDGE

What does the film reviewer do when the film issue appears? Revert to

core principles still remain. These pictures still remain family-oriented, with

childhood, apparently. Here is Jared Wooldridge in defense of watching kids’

the assumption that children will make up part of that family. As such, Pixar,

films as an adult.

Dreamworks, Disney pictures and the like all wear their hearts on a sleeve. You always know where you stand, even in the ones that have added layers to their

What is it that makes a grown, adult person (such as I am) bawl their eyes out

characters, like Inside Out or Zootopia. We see that, as good as Joy and Officer

during the beginning of Up, or through the end of Toy Story 3? Why is it I know all

Hops are, the filmmakers still make abundantly clear that they retain some

the words to ‘Let It Go’, and cannot stop myself from quoting Shrek incessantly

prejudices, or negative aspects; Joy’s attitude towards Sadness, and Hops’ attitude

every time there are waffles for breakfast? These are the questions, people.

toward foxes, for instance. So while there is far more for an adult to unpack with

Here we are, all of us, at University, having graduated school, expected to be

regards to these issues, they are still so cut-and-dry that the ideas involved can be

adults and responsible, and get married and have babies and all that jazz. People

grasped and understood by children in the simplicity of their execution.

roaring past the age of 21, expected to understand such mature things as politics, the economy, paying bills; English majors dissecting every single frame of — I don’t know — The Godfather; and if there is a cartoon in our lives, maybe we swing for Archer or Llamas Wearing Hats. You know, the stuff you would never, ever want to show to a child.

There is always a bad side, and there is always a good side. Sometime the good side doesn’t know that they’re good yet; sometimes good people don’t, or can’t, believe they are good, perhaps because of the way others treat them. Shrek is the perfect example of this; vilified by the townsfolk, made to think of himself as a horrible ugly monster, against his wishes, even though he is still good

Yet here we are, and it’s not just the 90s kids generation, either. While it

inside. Again, it’s this idea of prejudice the other movies have, but it is a hopeful

is true I, a 22 year old, would piss tears at the sight of Woody, Buzz and the

message; and it’s this hope, this idea of good triumphing over evil, of this notion

gang descending to what I thought was their death in Toy Story 3, it’s not just

that anybody, and everybody, can be a hero. You can save the day, you can get

us millennials sitting down to watch these kids films. It’s not just the animated

the girl/guy, you can have everyone love you and applaud you for your heroics;

ones either; don’t count out George of the Jungle, or High School Musical, or

cut back to the real world, that’s a very rare thing for you to find. You get a B on

the Cheetah Girls. Or the Cheetah Girls 2. You’ll find someone at University here,

an assignment, there is always someone trying to take you down for not trying

one of your peers, who would squeal in delight at the prospect of watching that

harder. Well screw them, everyone tried to take down Shrek, but he still saved the

over the latest Conjuring. But you can find them everywhere in the adult world,

princess from the tower and took down Farquaad.

these people. My older brothers for example, the oldest pushing 30, who could watch Hoodwinked for the millionth time and still cackle loudly at the fast-talking squirrel. Or the case of the Old Man and Mother, who just the other day, sat down to watch Despicable Me, and not for the first time.

The answer to the question, then; why do we watch kids films, and does it make us losers? Well, for me at least, it appears that kids’ films are the way we want the world to work. We want the happy ending, we enjoy the emotional journey there for the simplicity of it; everyone feels their own way about it, for every person it

So, why? Why, why, why, why, why, when we are expected to be grown up, and

elicits a personal emotion for them, whenever (spoiler) Bing Bong *holds back

even long after that point, do we want to sit down and watch a joke about a fart

tears* dies. We each have our own inner child, and it never disappears. It’s always

gun? The answer may lie in a simple question. Who the hell WANTS to be an

there, reality just pushes it a little further back into our minds every new day we

adult? I mean seriously, look how screwed up adults have made the world. Look

wake up. The real world sucks. These worlds don’t. Bad things happen, but good

at how cynical adults, or even teenagers, can be. They have all the responsibility,

triumphs over them in the end, and everybody feels happy about it. It’s a kids’

and every chance to screw up said responsibility and cause a whole mess of

film, I mean who would want children to feel depressed after watching one? Let

problems no one wants to deal with. On the other hand, though, apparently we

your inner child be free, without shame, and enjoy a simpler world which makes

have to be adults, because life and all that jazz. It sucks beyond belief, does it

a hell of a lot more sense than our own messed-up hellhole. Screw it, go out

not? So why, why wouldn’t we, and other adults, just like to take ourselves out

after the movie, buy a rubber sword, and have your own adventure. Those who

of those responsibilities, leave the tedium and the bad choices of growing up

look down on you for doing any of this are the unfortunate losers, who have lost

behind, and instead, just be young again?

their inner child to reality, and instead want you to give up silliness and embrace

Sure, there is a lot more for grown-ups to actually appreciate in kids’ movies. A lot more for a parent to see in Finding Nemo than maybe for a child, but the

seriousness. Seriousness isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Serious adults created this world. Escape into silliness, reach to infinity and beyond.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE NEW ZEALAND INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL RICHARD SWAINSON

Dr Richard Swainson knows a lot about films, it’s his job as Auteur House

Clearly the problem is bigger than either finance or technology. Student

proprietor and Nexus writer. In his experiences, us Waikato students are pretty

indifference is grounded as much in ignorance and fear of the unknown.

rubbish at attending the New Zealand Film Festival, which he laments. It’s not

Resistance to sub-titles goes well beyond the youth demographic but perhaps

all grumbling and groaning though, here’s a few of his Film Festival must sees.

the young are particularly weary of being bored by material that operates

Students of Waikato University have never supported Hamilton's International Film Festival. That's a negative way to begin an article nominally designed to promote this year's event. However, I bring some perspective to the matter. I attended my first film festival in this city in 1985. Few contemporaries were sighted. Two years later the first film studies course was taught at Waikato.

outside the usual codes and conventions of genre filmmaking, is overly slow or neglects the ingredients of melodrama, sex and violence associated with commercial entertainment. So what arguments might be marshalled to get bums on seats in the remaining week the 2016 festival has to run?

Sam Edwards and Stan Jones, founding fathers of what much later became the

Firstly, I would put the case for the cinema, per se. No matter how impressive your

Department — now "programme" — of Screen and Media, went to extraordinary

home theatre set-up there is no substitute for watching films in an environment

lengths to promote the 1987 festival and continued to do so in the years that

dedicated exclusively to the experience. Real cinema requires total immersion.

followed, as the formal study of cinema at the institution rose and fell. Even at the

It requires that you sit in the dark, in a physical space distinct from your own

height of the Department of Film & Television, when students enrolled in courses

domestic dwelling, potentially with strangers, giving the sounds and the images

whose primary focus was textual analysis — i.e., the films themselves, studied in

your full attention. If you have one eye on your cell phone or have the option

a manner akin to the study of literature — the numbers who bothered sampling

of pausing the film at any moment, for reasons legitimate or otherwise, it is a

the annual smorgasbord of world cinema, served up to them on their doorstep,

qualitatively different phenomenon. Like any other art form you get out of the

were pathetically low.

cinema what you put into it. This is doubly true for films of subtlety and depth.

A decade ago, when I last tutored at Waikato, I put a question to two first year

Secondly, I would put the case for the type of cinema enjoyed at film festivals.

classes: how many films in the festival have each of you seen? Out of around 70

Films in languages other than English by definition give insights into cultures

students one person had been to one film. If that was the attitude of those studying

other than our own, broadening our understanding of the world and potentially

media what is likelihood of those in other disciplines patronising the event?

our understanding of the human condition. They enrich us, challenging our

Why is this so? Traditionally, the student has pled poverty. It remains a mystery how the impoverished manage to fill the carparks with vehicles and the taverns with their thirsty carcasses and still manage to complain about $14.00 to go to the movies [Editor’s Note: Woah, harsh!]. In recent times, of course, as the 21st

preconceptions and prejudices, often asking the big questions and always providing a perspective whose principal merit is its point of difference. Sure, you risk a lot more when attending a festival screening but the rewards are in equal proportion.

century progresses, the practice of actually paying to see anything on the big

Thirdly, I would put the case for those specific films that remain to be seen in the

screen has fallen into disrepute. The culture of the download and the digital

2016 programme. There's nothing like direct marketing to sell a brand. What's the

stream rules supreme. ‘Tis the generation of technological entitlement.

best on offer between now and Sunday night's closing?

N.19 / V.48

FILM

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

Weiner

Elle

Personal Shopper

Green Room

Sunset Song

The 5th Eye

Below are a few recommendations of my own. However, I would urge any

THE 5TH EYE (NEW ZEALAND)

who are actually interested to themselves consult the Festival programme

A local documentary about this country's participation in the Five Eyes intelligence

and/or its website and make their own informed decisions.

network. Co-directors Errol Wright and Abi King-Jones have an impeccable track record, having made the superb Operation 8. A film for anyone curious about the

WEINER (USA)

misdeeds of the GCSB. In other words, a film for all New Zealand.

Only in America could a politician called Weiner get into trouble for posting pictures of his manhood on the internet. Dickhead by name, dickhead by

ZERO DAYS (USA)

deed, Congressman Anthony Weiner's fall from grace is hilariously detailed in

A documentary definitely worth downloading, made by the prolific and

this documentary, a study in yankee bullshit and hypocrisy as much as its title

politically savvy Alex Gibney, Zero Days examines American/Israeli efforts at

character's bizarre penis flashing antics.

cyber-espionage. A computer virus nicknamed 'Olympic Games' is devised to undermine the Iranian nuclear programme, with very mixed results.

IMAGES FROM NZIFF.CO.NZ

PERSONAL SHOPPER (FRANCE) Kristen Stewart's reincarnation as an art house actress continues with this, the

SUNSET SONG (UK)

one-time Twilight star's second collaboration with celebrated French auteur

My pick of the entire Festival, a likely masterpiece from Terence Davies, Britain's

Olivier Assayas. Playing — what else? — an American in Paris, Stewart is a haute

greatest living director. A coming of age story set in Scotland on the eve of

couture dogsbody haunted by her recently deceased twin brother. Expect a

World War I, I suspect this will be slow, beautiful and deeply melancholy, like

stylish fusing of genres and styles in keeping with Assayas' Irma Vep.

much of Davies' earlier work. Partially shot in Canterbury, NZ.

ELLE (GERMANY)

GREEN ROOM (USA)

Dutch director Paul Verhoeven continues to be best known for his two worst

With punk heroes and neo-Nazi villains this independent American thriller

movies, Basic Instinct and Showgirls, yet he was once a respected if provocative

has "youth appeal" written all over it, especially if you happen to be a Star

European auteur. Elle is his first feature for a decade and sounds like vintage

Trek: The Next Generation or X-Men fan. Captain Jean-Luc Picard, aka veteran

Verhoeven: a revenge fantasy in which rape victim Isabelle Huppert seeks

Shakespearean actor Patrick Stewart, plays an uncompromising fascist leader

retribution and gets it, with blackly humorous results. Perfect for closing night.

from Oregon. 19

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE STAGE TO SCREEN JAMES RAFFAN AND BRONWYN LAUNDRY

The recent success of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton proves what most of us

7. SOUND OF MUSIC

have known for a while, anything can be made better when you infuse it with

What did the screen version bring? Julie Andrews’ beautiful voice pre-throat

modern Puerto Rican hip hop. In fact it’s my contention you can improve any play

surgery and shots of actual countryside, rather than shittily painted backdrops.

or musical by simply adding rap music. Miranda’s Hamilton, a play set with the

Plus slightly friendly Nazis.

backdrop of the founding of America, was so successful in its Broadway run that when the Miranda himself decided to leave the lead role to pursue other projects people began to turn their attention to the likely film adaptation.

Most Quotable Line: “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…” (If you didn’t complete that sentence you have no soul.) Best Character: Gretl, the youngest Von Trapp.

Unfortunately for the majority of us this is where we enter the conversation, theatre is fine but at theatre prices most of us will wait for the eventual movie or television adaptation. Then for the truly fucking meta among us it’s about waiting for a movie to be turned into theatre, to then be converted into a television version of the theatre play. If you didn’t follow that last point all you need to know is that Grease Live! sucked.

6. LES MISERABLES What did the screen version bring? This is an interesting one because there are two equally plausible versions of Les Mis. One has Sascha Baron Cohen and the equally brilliant Helena Bonham Carter. The other is a non-musical version featuring Liam Neeson as JVJ. I think the musical version wins because

So to cut down on your bad movie watching we have listed the Top Ten

it proves a long held theory of mine that I wouldn’t cry if Anne Hathaway died a

(completely subjective) best stage to screen adaptations.

penniless addict prostitute.

HONOURABLE MENTION This is the part where the office theatre geeks create a get out of jail free card.

Most Quotable Line: “Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men?” Honourable mention to “24601!!!!!!!” Best Character: Poor, poor Eponine and her unrequited love for the idiot Marius.

Apparently James was told he couldn’t cut Sweeney Todd because “You don’t understand young people” (@ Bronwyn Laundry 2016) or Hairspray because “Zac Efron!!!” So instead we are saying goodbye to A Few Good Men, infinitely better on stage and screen than either of the other two but not young enough. 10. SWEENEY TODD What did the screen version bring? The late Alan Rickman makes literally any film better. Most Quotable Line: “There's a hole in the world like a big black pit who are filled with people who are filled with shit.” Best Character: The entire God That’s Good song.

5. ANGELS IN AMERICA What did the screen version bring? Another opportunity to see Mary Louise Parker. She doesn’t even sell weed in this. Most Quotable Line: “I usually say, "Fuck the truth," but mostly, the truth fucks you.” Best Character: Al Pacino’s Roy Cohn 4. CHICAGO What did the screen version bring? Catherine Zeta-Jones in sparkly outfits. Most Quotable Line: “He ran into my knife, he ran into my knife ten times.” This

9. HAIRSPRAY

will be the excuse I use when I eventually crack and kill someone.

What did the screen version bring? The glorious Zac Efron and blockbuster

Best Character: The baddest of all bad bitches, Velma Kelly.

budget staging. I’m ignoring the John Waters version because Ricki Lake sucks and it’s not a musical. Also, pre-crazy, Amanda Bynes and her enviable pigtails.

3. WEST SIDE STORY

Most Quotable Line: “You can't stop my happiness, 'cuz I like the way I am.”

What did the screen version bring? Lead actors who weren’t all white,

Best Character: Link Larkin (Because of Zac Efron) but really Christopher Walken because he is the Alan Rickman of slightly crazy. 8. ANNIE What did the screen version bring? Racial diversity, Jamie Foxx and the

although most of them were. Also, the catchiest songs are used to perpetuate the stereotypes that all Puerto Ricans are violent. Most Quotable Line: (Clicking your fingers) Best Character: Natalie Wood’s Maria.

aforementioned addition of rap music.

2. GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS

Most Quotable Line: “The sun’ll come out, toooomorrrrrooooow”.

What did the screen version bring? An all-star cast as angry real estate agents.

Revolutionary.

Most Quotable Line: “Coffee’s for closers!”

Best Character: Cameron Diaz’ Miss Hannigan.

Best Character: Hard to pick, but probably Alec Baldwin’s Blake. 1. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE We won't even use the template here. Just watch the film! Marlon Brando made his name here and every line is quotable. 21

YOUR SPACE CHEF’S BEST Come home from a long day and need a hug? Don’t bother about human contact, living with a trainee chef ensures that your kitchen is constantly packed with everything you need to numb your feelings. Just remember you’re not living with a trainee dentist or personal trainer, walking to class doesn’t count as proper cardio, sorry bud. Maybe you’re a psychopath who shivers at the thought of sleeping in? Rejoice! This is the flat for you. This mini Mansion comes equipped with lovely neighbouring builders who are more than willing to make obnoxious inaudible noise from the break of dawn.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

WAITING FOR A BUS OR A REPLY TO YOUR TEXT? PLEASE SIGNAL THE DRIVER!

FLETCH, VAUGHAN & MEGAN WEEKDAYS 6 -10AM

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY SUNDAYS

HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D BUTANE HASH OIL

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

VITAMIN D

EXPECTATIONS

Hi Vitamin D,

Your Sunday morning routine starts bright and early with vitamins, a green

I loved your column on weed and cannabutter last semester. Me and my mates

juice and a hike up the Hakarimatas. The sun is shining and you’re the first

got really fucked up on a batch of hash brownies and watched Adventure

one at the Farmers’ Markets to buy your organic, local produce for the week.

Time, but I've got to say that it was all pretty mellow. Do you have any other

Afterward, you head out to brunch with your besties to eat pancakes and talk

recipes for getting fucked up faster and harder?

about adult-y things like mortgages and car loans and your absence of a soul,

Lots of love, Tim O’Tei

all the while drinking mimosas. You write your list of Things To Do with absolute confidence you will actually do them today and not find the list unfinished

[Editor's note: Again, Nexus does not condone extracting BHO from illegal

under your bed in two weeks. You head home and clean your entire house

plants, nore risking your life for a high.] Oh Tim, you delicious smelling bastard.

without breaking a sweat and then bake cookies for some charity bake sale

You're right; sometimes edibles can be pretty chill, and the slow breaking of

because you’re a fucking great samaritan. After meal prepping for the week

the green wave doesn’t cut it for everyone. Dry vaping is a little better, but

you finish off your uni work that isn’t due for ages and head over to your

you’ll want to spend at least $200 for a portable unit or $350 for a tabletop.

parents’/neighbour’s house for Sunday roast and board games. Your game of

It’s not always better, but generally cleaner, and it decarbs your grass for you

Monopoly doesn’t end in someone crying/being disowned and after dinner you

to bake later. However, if you really hate life but don't have the commitment

sit in a circle singing Kumbaya and talking about your feelings. You go to bed

to kill yourself through a lifetime of arguing about the correct way spoons are

at exactly 9.30pm ready to take on the week.

supposed to face in the cutlery drawer, then consider making butane hash oil (BHO) and getting your hit hard and fast while risking your life.

REALITY You wake up in last night’s clothes on a couch/deck chair/bed/pool table and have no fucking clue where you are. You stumble your way around the house dazed and confused until you find the kitchen and drink approximately 2058297 litres of water straight from the tap. You search for your wallet and keys but naturally can’t find either. All you can find is your phone, which is flat, so you can’t text for a ride or even GPS where the fuck you are. You gather your stuff (or lack thereof) and wander the streets, fairly certain you’re in Nawton. When you finally make it home you decide to take a well deserved mid-morning

BHO is an oleoresin extracted from ganja, vaped or dabbed by those who want to get seriously fucked up. Basically, you wash your leaf with a solvent which then takes up the THC and a bouquet of terpenes. You then remove the solvent and what you have left is a golden, honey-like tar. Because you’re not smoking burning leaves like a neanderthal, you’re getting a much, much higher concentration of psychoactives and some people reckon it’s better on the lungs. Think of it like the difference between eating willow bark or taking an aspirin; one’s ‘natural’, the other’s extracted and refined.

nap alongside a mild existential crisis. You wake a few hours later because your

Like making aspirin there’s a bit more involved than papers and a match. More

friends are calling you, wondering if you’re dead or not. You feel like you could

often than not n-butane (not isobutane) is used as the solvent. The butane-

possibly be dead. You take a trip to the bakery for a Powerade and your choice

extraction is then filtered, and the butane left to evaporate. The big danger is

of deep fried edibles and spend the rest of the morning/afternoon watching

that butane — you know, the stuff in butane torches — is flammable. Highly

Netflix. You spend a good hour looking through all of your social media,

flammable. About one person dies in the States each week as a result of

untagging yourself from Facebook photos and deleting

stupid Snapchat

dodgy BHO extraction, typically by filling their kitchen with gas and turning

stories you thought would be hilarious but are actually cringey as fuck. You pass

their house into a bomb. Every source for BHO extraction will tell you to do it

out at 9.30pm feeling guilty for being a piece of shit and wasting an entire day.

outdoors. No surprises that you do this at your own risk.

Word of advice: Productive Sundays are for old people and tradies. You do you, boo xx.

N.19 / V.48

FILM

If you are to make BHO, then you’ll first need a... [COLUMN REDACTED FOR LEGAL REASONS].

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

NERD YORK TIMES REMASTERS

HEIL HOGAN POLITE PESSIMISM

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

LYAM BUCHANAN

Remasters: not a new game, just the old one with updated graphics. Some

While Hogan glistens with shattered glass, Beaumont and Cameron are

call them a blatant cash-grab, whilst others say that they’re good to keep the

nothing but inferior tarmac. These peasant-esque streets are flooded with

series relevant. The older games tend to show their age, so what’s wrong with

nothing but broken dreams and the overwhelming fear of ending up like our

updating them? Or even just making them compatible for the new generation

parents. There are only so many times where getting absolutely fuck eyed is

of consoles? In a couple of weeks another iconic game series is going to

a valid attempt at postponing life; let alone the looming pressure of being

get the remaster treatment, as the BioShock trilogy is going to be released.

successful, or at least a somewhat useful, human. For the sake of not turning

Then there’s the news that the beloved and sacred original Crash Bandicoot

this into an impromptu intervention, let's all continue to preach that alcoholism

trilogy will be redone for PS4. Is any of this worth it? Or is at all just a cynical,

is nothing less than a healthy part of the student lifestyle.

corporate-driven attempt to squeeze as much money as possible out of our love for these properties?

However, I’m convinced the majority of my mates are all somewhere between having a minor existential breakdown and a fully blown midlife crisis, I’m

I’m going to tell you right off, I’m planning on getting both the BioShock

definitely no exception. Young men who were once studious, exemplary

and Crash Bandicoot remasters when they come out. However, this isn’t an

members of society have been reduced to online poker addicts who struggle

endorsement, rather loyalty/enslavement to the brand. I know, capitalist

to maintain a somewhat acceptable level of hygiene. Young women who

sheep and all that, but hey, what are you going to do? But even though I’m

were previously sitting pretty with their great grades and promising futures

going to buy these games, it is far from what I think many are looking for.

now have nothing more than a profile on multiple Sugar Daddy websites and

One thing, of course, is backwards compatibility, although I think this may

cravings more abstract than a heavily pregnant 15 year old. Is there a common

only apply to PlayStation, so sorry you Xbox users out there. I mean seriously,

denominator here? I think I’ll continue pretending that being somewhat

remember the days of being able to play PS1 games on a PS2? Is it really

associated with me isn’t the linking factor.

so difficult to enable for these newer systems? The amount of games you’re denied just because the new system is out is ridiculous, and not everything can be remastered.

If you’re no longer feeling the love for your degree, University, or even just the general concept of life, make sure to be irrational about it. Go eat copious amounts of shit food and munch as many cigarettes as your hungry lungs can

The one thing I want, above all others though, is new games for these series! For

handle, go out of your way to make mistakes and put yourself in situations

some, they’re sacred, and shouldn’t be touched, but come on! If you’re going to

you absolutely hate. If you do this you’ll find it incredibly easy to deal with

be making money off a franchise, then at least give me something other than

your eventual divorce and the entirety of your life falling apart, you’ll still be

just updated graphics! There are still stories to explore in these series, or even

focused on the detrimental effect a sub-par column had on your health and

just whip up some sort of reboot/remake, like the new Ratchet and Clank did.

mental well-being when you were still young and full of promise at University.

Now, there might be some sort of magical answer to this I’m missing, seeing as I’m none too knowledgeable about technical things (and don’t just say “that’s why you should game on a PC”), but seriously, the audience is still there for these games. That’s part of the reason I plan on getting the remaster, to tell these people, “Yes, I still want to play! GIVE ME MORE!” I may just be a noob, or whatever the term is now, but dammit, I want Spyro back!

As an exemplary member of society it’d be rude not to give this a purpose beyond just a pessimistic rant, here’s a little inspiration to lighten up your day and give you a helping hand if you’re feeling a little existential. “The uni lakes will always have worse hygiene than you.” “No matter what you do you’ll always be more successful than anyone from AUT.” “Your parents may not love you, but I do xx” “Your addiction to various vices won’t have much of an effect on your body till you're hopefully already married.”

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

SAWIT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

NEW LOCALS FOREIGN FILMS

ROSS CORMACK

MIHIR ROY

Just a reminder to all Students Association of Wintec (SAWIT) members

You might not have noticed, but a lot of the films we get in New Zealand are of

and non-members to utilise the services provided by our friendly staff at the

the American variety, which makes for a real treat when a well made Kiwi film

SAWIT office. If you are unsure where the office is, it is on the bottom floor

hits cinemas. Taika Waititi's Hunt for the Wilderpeople was especially good

of the library building, just along the corridor from Student Learning Services

because it had a classic New Zealand perspective that we can't get in other

— Hub City Campus. Services offered include Advocacy, binding, laminating,

forms of media.

faxing, stapling, and you can purchase your USB stick from there as well.

Cultural perspective is something Hollywood films usually lack, and for the

For those students that are not members of SAWIT, I would strongly encourage

rather obvious reason that they need to appeal to their core domestic market.

you to join. This is your student association and it is a student body which

I often watch foreign language films just as a way to diversify my film viewing

can offer support in a variety of ways throughout your course of study. It is

and find that for the most part they tend to be pretty similar to American

also important to remember that there is strength in numbers, so the more

films, except I usually don't understand the dialogue. This forces me to spend

members, the more of a speaking voice you will have on campus. Your concerns

the whole movie reading subtitles, which can and absolutely will get very

will be related to, heard through the proper channels, and will be discussed by

annoying. I also can't watch the film while doing anything else since looking

your elected representatives and Wintec, with the view of providing a better

away from the screen for too long leaves me pretty lost in the plot.

service to students. Please be aware that it may not be you as an individual that has a concern that needs to be addressed, but it may be one of your

Here are some films that I think are worth the watch, even if you're not a

classmates, or a student from another faculty. This means that you will be

big fan of foreign language films:

supporting one another through your study by having a strong student body, with a strong membership, which means stronger representation for students. The staff at SAWIT, and your elected board members, work hard to ensure that students are represented and supported throughout their study at Wintec, the few minutes it takes to obtain your free membership will ensure that the

Oldboy (2003) by Korean director Park Chan-wook, a mystery thriller neonoir film about a man's journey for revenge. Rashamon (1950) by Japanese director Akira Kurosawa, an older film, but one that definitely holds up, even today.

student body remains a strong and active service that works for students,

Breathless (1960) by French director Jean-Luc Godard, once again, an older

with no other agenda than the welfare of students.

film but one a lot of newer films draw from, knowingly or unknowingly.

Spring is just around the corner; enjoy the improving weather and good luck

In the Mood for Love (2000) by Hong Kong director Wong Kar-Wai, a slightly

with the rest of your study.

misleading title but one of the best films of the 2000s. Blue is the Warmest Colour (2013) by French director Abdellatif Kechiche, winner of the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival.

N.19 / V.48

FILM

Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

PAK â&#x20AC;&#x2122;N SAVE HEAD CHEF BEEF NOODLE STIR FRY INGREDIENTS 500 g of beef (or you can use chicken

1 tsp of fresh ginger crushed

breast sliced into chunks)

1 tsp of fresh garlic crushed

2 Tbs of tomato sauce

1 red chilli, crushed seeds removed

1 Tbs of brown sugar

Salt and pepper

3 Tbs soy sauce

Broccoli, carrot, onion, beans, mung

1 tsp paprika

beans, mushrooms and any other

1 tsp cumin

vegetables you wish to throw in

DIRECTIONS 1. Throw together all the spices, sauces, garlic and ginger. Mix and taste. Add in beef chunks and let it marinate for at least 1 hour. 2. Heat a large pan on high, and put some water on to cook noodles in a separate pot. Once pan is sizzling hot throw on marinated beef and any leftover marinade. 3. Fry briefly until meat is just cooked, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t dry it out. Remove from pan and let sit. 4. Add a bit more oil into same pan and stir fry veges. When still crunchy but heated through, add the meat back and stir to incorporate all the juices. 5. Serve with some noodles or rice, and enjoy!

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

WINNER

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

She’s a basic who loves cats, wine and Netflix documentaries. She knows all the words to 50 Cent's 'Candy Shop' and has an impressive collection of slippers. He is a #trendy theatre kid and an avid fan of Stan Lee. He’s also been described as a “professional sad boi”. They’re both 2nd year English students. Will this Once Upon a Time become a Happily Ever After? Or will the night end in tragedy?

HE SAID

SHE SAID

I sauntered in a few minutes past seven (I could’ve been on time but

On my way to the date, with my friend driving me (like the true

my driver may or may not have taken a detour to catch a Parasect) I

champ she is), I was feeling relatively nervous and wished I had

felt cool, calm and collected. For about 36 seconds.

preloaded a little beforehand. Nevertheless, I strolled in at a cool 9

My waitress directed me to one table, I asked to shift to another,

minutes past 7.

my date arrived, she asked the waitress to move us again. After a

With the waitress indicating where my date was sitting, I immediately

rapid fire game of musical chairs, that I guessed was some kind of

requested a table change, in order to avoid the awkwardness of being

hectic power play, I finally sat opposite my date. Well. She was….

seated in front of a table full of people I knew. Thankfully my date

distractingly good looking. Off to a good start. She was dressed in

was more than gracious about the change of seating arrangements.

a fairly “alty” manner, outfit complete with a choker around her neck that my friend would later to refer to as a “black belt in BJs”. The conversation started almost immediately and didn’t stop until more than 3 and a half hours later when we were all but physically removed from the bar because the staff wanted to go home. She's travelled, I've travelled, she studies English, I study English, she is immensely passionate about cheesecake, cats and World War 2, I am as well and we both shamefully admitted to have "dabbled" in Pokemon Go. We found so much in common and so much to talk about that we made excuses to stay after dinner, after our after dinner drink, after last call, and even squeezing in one more cheeky Sav — Stella combo before being hurried out the door.

We introduced ourselves and my nerves were quickly set at ease, he was very friendly and laid back. We began by ordering drinks and then garlic bread, the perfect way to start any date. The conversation and banter flowed easily and continuously, thankfully no awkward silences to report. All was going well until... I found out he likes coriander. As a proud member of the ‘I Hate Coriander’ Facebook group I wasn’t sure if the evening would be salvageable. With the bar tab running low, we tried to barter for some drinks deals. We managed, but ended up going over the tab anyway, which he paid for in true gentleman style. We finished our last drink, feeling a little tipsy and having an early start the next day we decided to call it a night. He walked me over to my ride and we hugged goodbye. All in all, it was an enjoyable

She had to head off a bit before 11 because of an early class but I’m

evening. Thanks Nexus and my date, I had a good time, even with

fairly sure I see a round 2 on the horizon… I’ll keep you updated.

the coriander mishap!

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

HOROSCOPES

WORDFIND G

1000 seem less shit is to add 500 even shitter songs in.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)

Jupiter is in Leo this week which is a sign from the stars

W W

Lacking in self confidence this week? You may not be the

A W A

best-looking person on campus, but you’re reading this,

O W

clear sign you should invite two of your classmates over

for a naughty little ‘dance’ of your own.

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)

Just because someone rejects your ideas, doesn’t mean

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19) The Rock 1000 countdown has been extended to 1,500 songs this year. Because, apparently the best way to make the top

suggesting you should try to get in one too, you sly dog.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)

so you’re obviously not illiterate. Nice! ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Get your telescope out this week, because Saturn shines bright. Bonus points if you don’t just see the planet, but into your hot neighbours house as well. TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) Venus is in a dance with Jupiter and Mercury this week, a

they aren’t great! Except if your idea is to recycle semen into a snack.

Action

DiCaprio

Junkfood

Frozen

Marvel

Cinema

Overanalysis

Theatre

Romance

Hathaway

Leonardo

Nostalgia

destress, plus by lowering the expectations on you now,

Johansson

Disney

Crying

Hollywood

you can kick back for the rest of the semester.

Netflix

Soundtrack

Scarlett

Horror

Procrastination

Pixar

Musicals

Anne

Potter

Metrobyhoyts

Dirtyhipsters

Buffering

Sequel

Spooning

Guiltypleasures

Popcorn

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Take a break this week. It’s always good to relax and

LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22) Invite that over-eager mature student out to the pub with you this week. Scientifically proven that the drunker they get, the less likely they are to talk about LAWS107. VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22) Always remember: It’s not what your country can do for you, but what your country can steal from other countries. And what you can steal from your neighbour. LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22) If you’re worried that student life seems to be passing you by, go scull some Double Browns on Hogan Street this Thursday night, and you’ll be transported right back to first year. SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21) So you read the Nexus review on the Magic Bullet the other week? Ignore it. The only time you should ever purchase a Magic Bullet is when it’s a silver one for killing werewolves. SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21) If things aren’t going your way this week just remember that you’re not in prison. Sucks for you, because at least prisoners get a balanced diet and underfloor heating. 32

N.19 / V.48

FILM

SIMPLE PUZZLES 4 SIMPLE PEOPLE

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUDOKU 2

1 4

7 3

EASY

6 7

MEDIUM

TRIVIAL

9 3

7 9

2 8

3 7

5 8

5 2

HARD

CODE CRACKER

a) What word can go before bath, shower and delight? b) What material is the famous painting, Mona Lisa, painted on?

21 4

21 21

4 11

c) What letter do you always find on a snooker table? 24

d) In which industry do NATSOPA and SOGAT operate? e) Which of Henry VIII's wives gave him a male heir?

16 14

WORD TWIST

20 20

horizontally, vertically or 21

diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

3 14

7 24

15 6

21 21

25 14

12 16

19 14

ANSWERS

Code Cracker

1.M 2.H 3.O 4.S 5.W 6.Z

W N

Trivial

7.Q 8.R 9.Y 10.G 11.D 12.K

The letters must touch

a) Turkish

13.V 14.I 15.U 16.T 17.C

b) Wood

18.X 19.B 20.E 21.A 22.F

make from these letters?

c) D

23.J 24.P 25.N 26.L

d) Printing

e) Jane Seymour

How many words can you

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