Nexus 2016 Issue 21 by Nexus Magazine

N.21 / V.48

Clarence Street 7am – 10pm, 7 days a week. Phone (07) 839-4056

Kellogg’s Nutrigrain 500g

Schweppes Sparkling 1.5 Litre – 4 for

Rockstar E/Drinks 500ml – 3 for

Eta Sancho C/Chips 300g – 2 for

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Prices valid until Sunday 25 September 2016. Trade not supplied. Valid at PAK’nSAVE Clarence Street only.

THIS PRICE IS ON THE DOWN LOW

FEATURES 18 Yoru Friendly Neighbourhood Drug Dealer Interview by Indigo Smith

20 Confessions of an Online Shopaholic Bronwyn Laundry

22 Rehabilitation Station Crispy Chakras Chris

NEWS & OPINION

ARTS & CULTURE

FUN & GAMES

Lettuce

Covered

Entertainment

Uni News

Arts

Reviews

Nexus News

Auteur

Snapped

Sports

Your Space

Blind Date

CARE

Head Chef

Puzzles

COLUMNS

ON THE COVER TAYLA DEE KELLY

Expectations vs. Reality

Getting High

Half-Baked with Vitamin D

Fudgey Sticky Mess

Heil Hogan

Tales of a Sober D: Hitchhiker Edition

Nerd York Times

Trailer Trash

SAWIT

New President

New Locals

NZ Students are "Loose Units"

EDITOR Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz DESIGN Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan

EDITORIAL DRUGS ARE RATHER EXCELLENT LYAM BUCHANAN

james@nexusmag.co.nz CONTRIBUTORS Freddy Walker Jared Wooldridge Alexander Nebesky

D.A.R.E had good intentions. I’ll always have the memory of sitting on the mat while some big ol’ scary policeman spun yarns about the horrors of drugs, I may not remember a single thing he said but it must’ve worked wonders on me at the time. Instead of being an absolute cunt during my pubescent years, I was every parents wet dream. Why would you want to steal alcohol from your parents or sneak out to nearly die after three swigs at the local skatepark? Who actually wants to enjoy life? All that mattered to me was making sure my paper run was completed on time and that my body stayed pure.

Onyx Lily Rosemary Quay Peter Dornauf Dr. Richard Swainson Indigo Smith Crispy Chakras Chris Vitamin D Lawrence Penney

I guess learning about narcotics and substance abuse from such a young age ended up as

Justin J. Gretzky

a really twisted version of The Tortoise and the Hare. We were all so determined to hate

Sarah Hyde

anything which would even slightly alter our states of consciousness that after five or six years of subliminal dwelling the majority of us ended up on a rampage of taking anything

COVER

and everything, however, whenever. All the kids who never really gave a shit were far better

Tayla Dee Kelly

off, they went with the flow and would go into these situations without any preconceived ideas; these cool cats ended up far more likely to prefer be sober and somewhat functioning. Looking back on it, I’d be surprised if that cop wasn’t constantly mashed on class A’s. With a job as draining as that you’d need something a little stronger than just a pat on the back. Incase you’re bit of a hare and completely missed the mark, welcome to the Vices Issue. Set your guilt aside for a moment and lose yourself in the first world problems of a confessed shopaholic (P. 20), take a deep breath and let your emotions run free with a free professional rehabilitation session (P. 22), or if you consider yourself to be rather ~edgy~ our interview with drug dealers would be right up your dark decrepit alleyway (P. 18).

ADVERTISING advertising@nexusmag.co.nz ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine OFFICES

Here’s hoping all the shitty habits we’ve acquired at university don’t continue to follow us

Ground Floor, Student Union Building

through adulthood, either way it’ll be entertaining to watch "I’m such an alcoholic" turn from

Gate One, University of Waikato

a trashy phrase to a touchy subject.

Knighton Road, Hamilton

ISSUE 21 VICES 19 SEPTEMBER 2016

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

COVER LOVIN’

ULTIMATE FRISBEE

WHALE OF A TIME

BORED

Best. Cover. Ever. I fuckin love whales so Goddamn much and seeing

Is the fucking Ultimate Frisbie over yet? I’m sick of emails from my

them on your cover when I walked into my lecture on Wednesday really

faculty asking me to go play sport. No.

improved my HUMP day (geddit whale pun lol). Two enthusiastic fins up. WHALES FUCK YEAH.

Yeah, you can’t make frisbee fun just by saying it’s ultimate. Sport sucks. Brittany

I know! Pointillism (yeah, I know big words) is fucking impressive. Brittany

STUDY BREAK PT 3 RELENTLESS COMPLAINER

CUDDLE BUDDY WAKELESS IN WAIKATO

Dear Editor,

Nexus, plz help me, the girl I’ve been banging on the d low has told me time and time again she doesn’t want a relationship but I’m catching the mad feelz. I obviously don’t want to end it, but I don’t want my feeble 18 year old heart to be broken by this Venus. End it! Don’t be that mopey fuck from 500 Days of Summer. No means no, quit dreaming. Brittany

Dismissing the complaints of students about the short uni break is shortsighted and rude. Have you considered listening to students rather than having a bad attitude? The break was much too short, and for a student to suggest you could find out why was reasonable. You didn’t have to be sarcastic and joke about the uni adding more time to the year. At least you got a break. I’m not complaining and I didn’t get even one week of downtime because I started my placement as a student

CANDIDATES SCHMANDIDATES

teacher. Studying is stressful. Get better at dealing with it. Brittany

FED UP It seems that none of the candidates running in the local elections have

PLEASE SET ME FREE

any idea of what it’s like to be a student or even give a shit about us in

DISGRUNTLED TENANT

general. I want to have my voice heard and vote but at this stage I’d rather vote for a fucking baked potato than these shit-talking thundercunts. At

I know it’s my faulty for signing a fixed term contract but do you really

least a baked potato will positively affect my wellbeing.

need to be this much of a bitch about it? All my flatmates were useless

Augh, they’re all so boring. I don’t even like baked potatoes and I’m inclined to agree with you. Brittany

cunts who’ve left me high and dry, how can you really expect a singular fast food worker to afford an entire 4 bedroom flat. Get fucked. I don’t slave away making burgers to pay for this because you’re too lazy and conceite to allow.

REASON 16479 PAID PARKING SUCKS

I’ll pray for you. Advocacy at WSU has your back too. <3 Brittany

DROWNED RAT Why the fuck have uni not put fucking shelters over their fucking studpid

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the

fucking paid fucking parking machines. Its fucking ridiculous. I’m paying to

writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content

be drenched and im sfucking mad about it. I’m sitting in a lecture soaked

or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent

because of a sudden downpour as I was keying in my number plate.

to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of

Have you heard of umbrellas? Nah, but seriously — I’m with you on this

intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to

near incoherent rant. I like getting wet, but not in the Gate 1 carpark

publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person,

thx. Brittany

or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

N.21 / V.48

VICES

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

MBA student Kahurangi Taylor won the Vodafone World of Difference Award

ONYA

A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE

to help her fund a new youth centre in South Auckland — all while completing her studies.

SAVING KIWIS Ten students from Waikato University Science Students' Association

RESEARCHING THE HONEY BUZZ

(WUSSA) spent a weekend volunteering for the Otanewainuku Kiwi

Master of Science student Stevie Noe is

Trust. They mapped predator-trap locations to help protect kiwi.

researching ways to improve the quality of nectar in Mānuka plants to produce better honey.

INTERNING IN CHINA Management student Zack Pentecost has been interning in China for four months BUILDING FUTURE LEADERS

as part of the MNGT496 internship

Sixteen students are part of the University’s Te Āhurutanga Māori

paper. He’s been working for Encompass Procurement.

Student Leadership Programme – an initiative that helps Māori students become good leaders and global citizens. Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email studentnews@waikato.ac.nz.

STUDY IN ASIA

EXAM TIMETABLE IS OUT

Do you have an idea for a business or

Apply now for a Prime Minister's

The B Semester exam timetable is now

project you want to get off the ground?

Scholarship for Asia (worth up to $250

available at timetable.waikato.ac.nz/

Make it happen with the $5000 Start-Up

a week) to study in Asia next year. Visit

exams. If you need to change your exam

Waikato scholarship programme. Visit

bit.ly/studyinasia for more details and

time or location, applications for special

waikato.ac.nz/go/start-up for details.

email studentexchange@waikato.ac.nz

arrangements close Friday 30 September.

Applications close 7 October.

for exchange options in Asia.

If you have a learning or physical disability

Applications close 30 September.

and need alternative exam arrangements, contact Disability Support Services at disability@waikato.ac.nz by 30 September. For other help, email exams@

BIKES FOR REFUGEES

TEACH ENGLISH OVERSEAS

The Eco Emporium on campus is running

Pathways College offers a five-week

bike refurb workshops on Wednesday 28

CELTA course to get you qualified to teach

September, 1-3pm at G.10 (the Cow Shed).

English in schools and universities around

The refurbished bikes will go to refugee

the world. Classes start 14 November. Visit

families resettled in Hamilton.

waikato.ac.nz/go/celta for more info and to enrol.

waikato.ac.nz or call 07 838 4466 ext 8018.

LIBRARY OPEN LONGER

The Library is now open longer at weekends, from 8am-7pm on Fridays and 8am-6pm on Saturdays and Sundays. For more details, visit waikato.ac.nz/library

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

BE YOUR OWN BOSS THIS SUMMER

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

Greens: We believe tertiary education is a public good and provided by the State. Our policy is to work towards fee-free tertiary education in New Zealand, and to significantly reduce unsustainable levels of student debt. Investing in high quality, affordable tertiary education is good for the country and our economy.

How does your Party intend to address the significant burden of student loan on young New Zealanders? National: [No comment made] NZ First: New Zealand First will implement upfront investment in postsecondary education. This policy will remove the financial burden of student

NEWS STUDENT DEBT SUCKS INTERVIEWS BY BRITTANY ROSE

loans, particularly on our young people and replace this with a repayable skill debt to the country. The Up Front Investment (UFI) Tertiary policy will reduce both the human and financial waste currently created by inadequate work force planning and under resourced careers advice. Our post-secondary study suite of policies, which includes a universal student allowance, will remove current lurching from skill shortage crisis to individual profession oversupply

Education costs a shit tonne and young New Zealanders owe a lot ($15 billion,

Labour: Labour will introduce three years of free post-school education for all

to be exact). A quick tally of the three students and one recent graduate

New Zealanders. That will significantly reduce the amount of student loan debt

sitting in the Nexus office exceeded $100,000. Fucking yikes. Nexus spoke to

that is incurred in the first place. Our policy on supporting those with existing

Steven Joyce of National, Tracey Martin of NZ First, Chris Hipkins of Labour

student loan debt will be announced before the 2017 general election.

and Gareth Hughes of the Green Party.

Greens: We would work towards reducing the $15 billion Student Loan burden and make studying more affordable. We want to see a world class public

Who is at the centre of your tertiary education policy? National: Students are at the centre of our education policy. Our settings for tertiary education are aimed at providing people with the skills and knowledge they will need in a career that they’re passionate about. NZ First: Students are at the centre of our Tertiary Education policy. Their ability to study, to support themselves while they study, their ability to use their acquired skills and knowledge upon the completion of their study, their ability to

‘fee-free’ tertiary education system. In Government we would cap and then progressively reduce student fees, and prevent exorbitant debt by introducing a universal student allowance. To assist reducing loan debt we would introduce a progressive repayment scheme and explore options for a debt write-off scheme.

If your policy removes the need for student loans (i.e. free education with varying criteria), will this apply only to those who are yet to enrol in University?

gain meaningful (to them) fulfilling (to them) employment.

National: We have no intention of removing the student loan scheme.

Labour: The whole community sits at the centre of our policy. Students will

NZ First: Our new policy of skill debt does apply to future students, however

always be at the heart of the tertiary education system, but academics, staff,

we do have policies to address those with current student debt. Our Universal

employers, and the wider community also have a vital interest. The whole

Student Allowances would apply from the moment we were holding the balance

community benefits from greater levels of education amongst the population.

of responsibility and we were able to put the systems in place to make this a

Greens: Students! We want tertiary education in New Zealand to be affordable, accessible and world class.

reality. In our view this is not difficult to implement and so should be achievable within 12 months of the policy being accepted. Labour: When fully implemented, Labour’s three year free commitment will be

Should education be user pays or provided by the State? National: Students have 70% of their tuition on average paid for by taxpayers currently through tuition subsidies. On top of that interest free student loans

available to all those who have not previously undertaken post-school/tertiary study. Greens: We want to see a progressive move towards free education, and any interim measures towards this should ease the burden on people currently studying.

equates to another 10% for the interest foregone. So already up to 80% of the cost is currently paid for by taxpayers. Given the significant private benefits that students receive once they graduate (income premiums of 40-60% over other taxpayers that never attend university) we think it is fair to everyone that students make some contribution to the cost of their study. We already incentivise

Is there any intent to retroactively clear others from debt? To what extent? National: No. We have interest free student loans already which helps people to clear their debt faster.

students staying in NZ by offering interest free loans. Students who stay in New

NZ First: Our dollar for dollar repayment scheme, five years in essential services

Zealand after graduating pay off their loans on average in about six years.

in select regions and amendments to the boarder stopping procedures address

NZ First: We believe that education is an investment that a state makes in its

current and past debtors. Labour: Labour has a number of possible initiatives under consideration but has yet

citizens and through them its future. Labour: Labour believes in quality, free public education. While the State

to announce our policy in this area. We will do so before the 2017 general election.

currently meets the bulk of the cost of education, we have a way to go before we

Greens: 15 billion dollars is an enormous burden on young New Zealanders,

can restore the Kiwi tradition of free, quality public education.

and we want to explore options to reduce existing debt as well as preventing

N.21 / V.48

VICES

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

this issue from getting worse in the future. We want to make things easier for graduates who are struggling with debt by introducing a progressive repayment scheme and bringing back the scheme for Government bonuses when you make voluntary repayments.

Under your education policy, is student allowance/living costs means tested on the individual? National: The Student Allowance Scheme is provided to full-time students from low-income backgrounds, to help them overcome financial barriers to entering

Labour: Our policy for 2017 has yet to be released. Greens: We think that all tertiary students should have access to student allowances. It’s not sustainable or fair to make students borrow to live, and we need to create positive incentives for students to continue into post-graduate study.

Should student loan and student allowance be available for post-graduate study? Why/Why not? National: Student loans are available for post-graduate study, however, in 2013 Student Allowances eligibility was removed for postgraduate study — except

tertiary education. If a student is working, StudyLink use weekly income to work

bachelor’s degrees with honours. This change was aimed to refocus Student

out how much student allowance the student can get. A student can earn up to

Allowances on a student’s initial years of study (their first undergraduate

$211.96 a week before tax without it affecting the student allowance. For every

degree) and update allowances policy to reflect the wide availability of interest-

cent a student earns over this, the student allowance is reduced by the same

free Student Loans. The New Zealand student support system is based on the

amount. Student loan living costs are not means-tested.

principle that students and their families should make a contribution to the costs

NZ First: No.

of their studies because of the significant private benefit that an individual gains from tertiary education. We expect postgraduate students to meet more of the

Labour: Labour’s commitment in 2008 was to re-introduce a universal student

costs of their study because a higher private benefit is gained from postgraduate

living allowance. We lost that election but that remains our long-term aspiration.

study. Tertiary education statistics show that the number of domestic students

How far and how fast we can make progress on that will depend on the financial

enrolled in postgraduate study above bachelors with honours level was higher in

conditions that we inherit when we next become government. More detailed

2015 than it was in 2012.

commitments regarding student allowances will be made prior to the 2017 general election.

NZ First: We do not believe in the student loan system and have a policy of a universal student allowance — regardless of the level of study or number of years

Greens: Our policy is for a universal student allowance, under which students

to complete the qualification.

would be able to work part time. We don’t think students should be borrowing to live. Eligibility for the allowance would only be affected by how much students

Labour: Labour wants to breakdown financial barriers to participation in post-

earnt in work over the course of a year, rather than the current model of week

school education at all levels. Our detailed student allowance policy will be

to week.

released before the 2017 general election. Greens: Yes, absolutely. In 2013 our MP Holly Walker submitted a Members Bill

Under your education policy, is student allowance means tested on the

aimed at reversing National’s short-sighted legislation in 2012 which took away

parents?

allowances for postgraduate study. Post-graduate study is absolutely crucial for many students if they want to work in their field of study and beneficial for a

National: For students who are under 24 and don’t have children, whether they

smarter economy. It’s absurd that under the current system you can’t get help

are single or have a partner, StudyLink use their parents’ total combined annual

for continuing your education, especially when we need more people with

income to calculate how much student allowance they can get. Parents can

postgraduate degrees in sectors with skills shortages.

earn up to $55,027.96 before StudyLink reduces student allowance entitlement. If parents live in separate households or support other full-time students aged 16 to 23, StudyLink don’t test a portion of their parents’ income. In some circumstances StudyLink may test only one or neither of the parents’ income. NZ First: No.

How will your tertiary education policy address the lack of access to funding for post-graduate students? National: Post-graduate students are still able to take out student loans, even if they exceed their 7 EFTS entitlement. Students are eligible for an additional

Labour: Student allowances are currently means tested on parents. The previous

1 EFTS to complete post-graduate study or an additional 3 EFTS to undertake

Labour government lowered the age at which parental income means testing

doctoral study. Students can also test their eligibility for additional support like

applied from 25 to 24. Our intention had been to continue to lower that age and

an accommodation supplement depending on their personal circumstances. The

that remains our long-term aspiration.

7 EFTS policy encourages students to make wise study decisions and to use the

Greens: Our universal student allowance would progressively reduce the age at

Student Loan Scheme wisely.

which parents stop being means tested, and we would want to see any income

NZ First: These students would be fully funded under our Up Front Investment

threshold that did apply be significantly raised.

Tertiary Policy. As you will see from the supporting documentation these students would have a skill debt equivalent to the number of years they studied.

Under your education policy, are there age factors that will effect student

Labour: Labour wants to breakdown financial barriers to participation in post-

allowance entitlement?

school education at all levels. Our detailed student allowance policy will be

National: How much student allowance a person can get depends on parents’

released before the 2017 general election.

income if they are under 24 years of age. Other factors which affect student

Greens: We want to see comprehensive funding for post-graduate study fees

allowance entitlement include: personal income; if they have a partner, and their

and living costs, and we would remove the current lifetime limit of 7 EFTS for

income; if they have children; if they live with their parents while they are studying.

access to loans.

NZ First: No.

cont. 5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

How might changes to tertiary fees (regarding who pays) impact upon funding for Student Associations? National: We have no plans to change the way tertiary education is funded. NZ First: The funding of Student Associations is a piece of policy that I am still working on and hope to release early 2017. Labour: Labour is committed to strong and vibrant students associations. Our policy on association membership and funding will be released prior to the 2017 general election. Greens: Student associations are a crucial means for students to make their voices heard, in addition to providing essential advocacy and support services. The Green Party would repeal the Act Party’s Voluntary Student Membership Bill. Under the current model, the Government and University have more say than students about how their money (via student services levy) is spent. We want to empower students and student associations to work on the issues that are most important to them.

Is a 'skills debt' a reasonable way to repay the cost of a tertiary level

MAYORAL CANDIDATE ANDREW KING KING OF THE "WISE"

qualification? National: A scheme like this is completely unsustainable, it would put too much pressure on the tertiary system and would cost billions. Students

INTERVIEW BY JAMES RAFFAN

who stay in New Zealand after graduating pay off their loans on average in about six years. We have no plans to introduce a scheme like this. NZ First: Firstly we believe tertiary education is an investment, both in the individual and our country and secondly as you can see from our policy

Thank you for taking the time out of your schedule of baby kissing, hand

statements we do believe that a skill debt is a valid way to repay this

shaking and senior citizen placating to do a quick interview with student

investment from your country.

media.

Labour: I would need more information on this before I could provide reasoned comment.

Your campaign slogan is “Time to Be Wise”. Given the voters elected you in 2013 were they unwise then? Are you impugning the intelligence of

Greens: New Zealand First’s plan for a skill debt is an interesting one, and

Hamilton voters or is it more of a mantra saying you were phoning it in

we would be interested to see more detail about how it would work in

last time and now you intend to be wise?

practice. We agree that incentivising students to contribute to New Zealand

“Time to Be Wise” slogan is aimed at the voter, not myself, to psychologically

after graduating is a good thing, but we think money should never a barrier

trigger them to research the candidates standing and to get out and vote.

to quality education. Last election you ran with your son Josh on the “Love Hamilton” ticket, Is it likely changes to tertiary fees will impact on enrolments in universities and the education/skill level/s of our population? What

did you drop him because he was dead weight or did his relationship status with Hamilton just move to “It’s complicated”? Last election in partnership with Josh was “TwoGenerations.nz”. Josh has

evidence exists surrounding this? National: We have no plans to make any changes.

since completed a business degree and is now in China studying Mandarin and their culture on a two year Prime Minister’s scholarship. “LoveHamilton.

NZ First: It is our view that the greatest impact of our policy will be on

nz” is my website for this election. It will be a great website to develop after

Tier Three and Tier Four tertiary providers. We do not predict a lessening

the election if anyone’s got any ideas. Love Hamilton says it all.

of enrolments specifically to Universities from our policy settings but recognise that Universities are currently dealing with a lower number

In all honesty your website is really great at being generic with slogans

of enrolments based off population data. We are also of the view that

like “I support the police” or “Supporting our Businesses”. Is it your

through our improved workforce planning, a more professionalised career/

contention that the other candidates don’t support the police or local

vocational workforce and competition by students at educational entry

business, or that you would do it in a more meaningful way, and if so,

that we will reduce qualification non-completion and horizontal shift — this

can you elaborate?

in turn will provide greater funding security for tertiary providers.

Dead right. A majority of other elected members did not support the police

Labour: Lower tertiary fees will remove barriers to participation and allow a greater proportion of the population to achieve tertiary level qualifications.

in their request for a One Way Door Policy so somebody evicted from a bar after 2am can’t straighten themselves up and walk into another bar down the road. This is about reducing alcohol related harm and helping the police

Greens: Absolutely, we have seeing a decline in domestic enrolments,

maintain law and order. I am a businessman and have been in business for

particularly in postgraduate study, which demonstrates the serious

over 30 years and strongly believe that businesses risk their money to build

implications of National’s underfunding of tertiary education.

our city, country and are the biggest taxpayers so build community.

N.21 / V.48

VICES

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

You’re a proud member of Gateway Church. How do you feel your religion

Vocationally you have been a used car salesman, a professional politician and

sets you apart from the other candidates?

a loan shark, are you trying to work your way through the most trusted career

I’m not saying I’m better than others or that I am set apart. But why not be an

list starting from the bottom? If so how long before you become Dean of Law

open book so people know what you are about?

at the University? There are all sorts of people good and bad, honest and dishonest in all walks of

One point of difference you have over your opposition is your stance against

life. I believe most people can be taken at face value.

the Ferrybank development. What are your objections? Contrary to popular belief I am not opposed to the Ferrybank being developed as

Recently NZUSA put together a Student City Charter. We have come up with

a premium park, with community facilities included. The Ferrybank Development

some of our own. Can you run us through your positions on some of the

Plan, if completed, will reflect a council brief to transform the Riverbank Precinct

issues raised point by point:

into the city’s premier waterfront destination. Enhancing this area or developing

The provision of light rail services to allow students from Huntly, Te Awamutu,

it into a premium park may have some merit but the redevelopment plan, which includes offices and residential apartments on the Ferrybank reserve, is another matter. I am against the building of a potentially five storey apartment block

Tokoroa and other places access to study options? This is unrealistic, you are talking billions of dollars.

that is proposed to go on this Reserve Land, blocking the view from Victoria

A rental Warrant of Fitness including heating? This will take rentals out of the

Street to the river, and I’m fighting to have the apartment block removed from

market and will push rental prices up.

the proposal. The construction of a five storey apartment block would clearly

A higher minimum wage? (Technically not a local council issue but indulge us)

commercialise an area that was put into reserve by our forefathers to protect it from that very thing. Someone has to stand for what is right in this matter. It is my duty to not sit idly by and let land covered by the Reserve Act be sacrificed

NZ unlike other countries has a minimum wage and then Family Tax Credit for low income earners. When looking at the minimum wage this needs to be considered.

on the altar of commercialisation. Just imagine if Auckland Council announced

Recycling of pizza boxes? If they are not clean when it comes to the recycling

plans to put apartments and office blocks in the Auckland Domain. There would

process the whole bundle will be considered contaminated, which is detrimental

be a national outcry! Even the commercialisation of the Auckland waterfront had

to the process.

some strong opposition and that area wasn’t even a reserve. It was under the

Permanent bottle bins in student areas? Students can recycle like everyone

control of the Harbour Board, a recognised commercial entity. So, why should we allow our protected Ferrybank reserve to be commercialised in Hamilton?

else in society. Remember you can put out more than one green recycling bin.

Recently it was announced that the Inland Port of Hamilton project would bypass the city itself. What are your views on this? Yes, Hamilton does not need heavy freight passing through our roads if it doesn’t need to.

SIDEBAR QUICK QUESTIONS

Gary Mallet is purported to have said that your record on council and the way you vote is the closest to how he views the issues. Has this caused you

To finish off we thought we would ask you some short answer

to re-think every decision you have ever made in your life?

questions to make you seem more human…

I do not believe user pays is always the best solution. Some things like water use and rubbish collection are better done in community. A part of what council does is providing community infrastructure which does not generate positive income for the city, but this is the heart and soul of our city. This is part of why we want to live here. I believe we have a social responsibility to the vulnerable and council has to play their part in this. How can we turn Hamilton into a thriving student city? It is.

What was the last film you watched? Anne of Green Gables with some respite care children that were in our care for the weekend. What was the last gig / concert you attended? Bob Dylan. What is the most embarrassing thing in your wardrobe? Teddy bear. What book could you read over and over again? Good to Great by Jim Collins.

If those fiscal and moral conservative labels are appropriate then why should Nexus readers and to a larger extent, students, vote for Andrew King? I am transparent and am showing people who I really am. It’s up to the voter to decide how to use their vote when considering this.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done on a bet or dare? Going down a flying fox half naked, at night and forgetting about the gorse half way down (don’t think about this too deeply). And for your final question, sell Hamilton under your leadership

Since you’re standing as a councillor as well, if you were unsuccessful, given

to me as though it was a used car on your lot? It has a V8 engine

the six other mayoral options, who could you work with, and who would you

(strong economy), fuelled by petrol (reasonable rates), has luxury

constantly be in conflict with?

interior (Claudelands Event Centre, FMG Stadium, new theatre

I can work with all of them as a team. We won’t always agree but it is important

coming, sports grounds), it is easy to drive (getting anywhere in

that all have a voice, are listened to and are respected. You should be able to

Hamilton doesn’t take any more than 15 minutes by car and has

disagree around the table and still get on outside of the chamber. Look at history

a good bus service), and has lots of extras (river, lake, gardens,

and the public perception of friction between Muldoon and Skinner. I understand

nightlife, cafes) and it’s priced right (still affordable to live here).

they actually got on well with each other.

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

SPORTS OPINION PERENARA IS PRETTY GOOD FREDDY WALKER

SPORTS OPINION PUNK ISN’T DEAD BUT IT GOT THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF IT JAMES RAFFAN

I was at Waikato Stadium when the Argentine Pumas came to town. I watched us get, to be honest, hammered up front in the

UFC 203 isn’t the worst thing to happen to America on September 11th but it has

early exchanges. Something just didn’t click about the All Blacks

to be in the top five. The results were as destructive for both the brand and the

for that first half. The unbeatable, great team had a chink in its

hype surrounding it. Particularly for former WWE Actor and action figure CM Punk.

armour which the Pumas seemed to be able to exploit with their “up the guts and into ‘em” style approach. To compound the issue, early in the second half Aaron Smith was replaced by TJ Perenara. In the stands, a collective groan/what is going on occurred. Why would Hansen replace the best halfback in the world so early? Perenara doesn’t deserve minutes, we could now lose! Forget that. TJ Perenara is the second best halfback in the world. Unfortunately for him, the one man who is better in the guy who wears the All Black 9 jersey. Long gone are the days of Piri Weepu wearing 9 just to lead the haka. They complement each other nicely. Smith is an absolute gun behind a pack which is rarely dominated — nobody throws a better pass and he is an

The event should have been remembered as the day Stipe Miocic kicked the crap out of former Dutch prodigy Alistair Overeem, instead it is once again a tale of how the over doped, over sexed men children of the WWE start to believe their own scripted hype and let their mouths write a cheque their face ends up having to cash. The tale of CM Punk should serve as a cautionary tale for any wrestler turned fighter because, like an early 90s child star will tell you, for every success story there are a number of failures that just end up getting fucked ‘til they lose their teeth. The result was CM Punk stepped into an Octagon with a professional fighter named Mickey Gall and didn’t make it through the first round. In fact, Gall was so clinical he dispatched Punk with a takedown and a series of savage beatings that only lasted two minutes and fourteen seconds.

awesome organiser. However, in the Argentina game, he wasn’t

Of course to his credit Punk made all the right noises after the fight saying things

behind a pack going forward. His one weakness — that he isn’t

like, “I’ll be back,” and, “this was a learning experience,” but I think had he been

always prepared to get tough and get the ball out of the ruck —

pressed further as to what he had learned he may have offered a simple, “I’m not a

was being exposed.

fucking UFC fighter and urinating blood will be gross for the next month.”

Perenara has what is sometimes an inconsistent pass. But what

There is a reason Stallone never said after filming Rocky 4, “This boxing shit looks

he does do is get into the nitty gritty. It was his influence on the

easy when it’s scripted, hand me my gloves and get Tyson on the phone.”

game which lead to the second half blowout against the Pumas. He runs great support lines too, and was an integral part of the Canes winning the Super Rugby title this season. Add in that he already has an understanding with the world’s current best player in Beauden Barrett, and TJ is definitely our number two, and probably deserves even more minutes. So stop the hate on Perenara. It is totally unnecessary. No need to hate on a guy who is earning more minutes by, quite frankly, outplaying the world’s best halfback. No need to hate on a guy who had a huge part in turning around a test which could have turned ugly. Let the man play and get behind him. He is good. 8

N.21 / V.48

VICES

For Punk it was a bad night, for the UFC it was emblematic of the honeymoon period being over. For a sport that had built credibility off the backs of hardworking people like Tank Abbott, Jon Jones and Anderson Silva the idea of CM Punk or even the over hyped Brock Lesnar are truly insulting. UFC got a taste of the Ronda Rousey fame and got hooked, and anyone who has chased the dragon will tell you that it’s way too hard a habit to kick. So they sold their soul to a stunt cast to get it back. It’s time to put away childish flights of fantasy and get back to what made UFC great in the first place two people stomping the shit out of each other with careless disregard for their respective spinal cords. As for Punk, I hear Momento is hiring.

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.” Jordan Belfort, The Wolf of Wall St

UNIREC | STUDENT MEMBERSHIPS FROM $9.20 P/W

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

EXPERIENCE INTER-FACULTY SPORTS RESULTS A big congratulations to the Faculty of Education for winning the first ever InterFaculty Sports Championship and walking away with the Wilf Malcolm Shield. Great job to Pathways College for taking out second place and bringing along with you Quentin Tawaka and Cindy Thompson-Tarau who won best dressed male and female. Kesian Paymani and Tia Lawrence rose above the rest and took out best player of the day. Â&#x2014;

N.21 / V.48

VICES

WSU ANNUAL PLAN 2017 DE VE LOP A

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Investigate and build a better representative model that informs our position on issues that are most important to you

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME

HOTTEST TO THE NOTTEST

“I'm completely in love... Before, I didn't know what love was - real love” – Cara Delevigne falls for a loaf of garlic bread.

• Taking naps in the stacks on Level 4 • Dropping out of uni to become a lion tamer • Having a quarterlife crisis and

“I don’t want to be seen smiling, having fun, or eating.”

quitting life to join the ducks at the uni lake • Furnishing your flat with things

– Victoria Beckham commits to a life of Resting Bitch Face.

picked up entirely from the side of the road • Taking naps in lecture theatres

“I am so proud. You are an inspiration”

• The Never Ending Song

– Zayn Malik is proud of you for sticking with uni. Go you.

• When your legs haven’t seen daylight all Winter • Shitty iPhone updates and shitty Apple

“No, absolutely not.”

• Dodgy landlords who randomly decide to sell your flat

– Katie Holmes is no fun when you take her out and try and make her shot tequila.

• Having to keep your flat tidy for open homes

BEST OF THE WEB BASIC BITCH BLOGGERS

BEATA JONITE CHANELEGANCE

JENN IM CLOTHESENCOUNTERS

MARY ELIZABETH HEY MARY ELIZABETH

SOFIE BARTTER THE MILK CLUB

Beata Jonite is a Latvian rich girl

Jenn Im is the epitome of the pretty

Mary Elizabeth is your cool, jet-

Sofie Bartter is clearly an awkward,

studying at a UK university and she

American style blogger who attends

setting aunt who has ‘fur babies’ and

Tumblr-lovin, pastel goth who never

is living the dream. Beata jets around

Coachella like it’s a religion and recruits

drinks mimosas at breakfast. She has

quite ditched the Harajuku craze.

the world during her breaks attending

her boyfriend to take constant OOTDs.

an actual design degree, unlike most

Her lookbooks are dreamy and she

crazy fun PR events for brands and

Her aesthetic is clean and stunning,

self-taught bloggers, and a legitimate

has comprehensive fashion advice.

buying expensive clothes. Imagine

her hair is always fucking perfect and

job as an interior designer. She makes

Particularly for high school girls and

being able to pay off your student

her styling videos will give you serious

all kinds of cool DIY videos you’d

particularly if you’re into the Japanese

loan in style and from the comfort of

FOMO. Particularly because she lives in

never actually do but like to put on

school girl/90s scene queen look,

your own living room?

LA and it always looks bloody sunny.

Pinterest boards and films herself

which face it, who isn’t right now?

redecorating people’s houses. 12

N.21 / V.48

VICES

FLETCH, VAUGHAN & MEGAN WEEKDAYS 6 -10AM

ZMONLINE.COM

NEXUS MAGAZINE

EXPERIENCE AUCKLAND TRAFFIC ONYX LILY

Earlier this week I had to go to Auckland for a conference. I was presenting, so it was important to get there on time, and as a consequence I dragged my sorry self out of bed at 4.45am and prepared myself for battle with that legendary foe, Auckland peak hour traffic. I was cruising along fine until Papakura when all of a sudden it was as if a brick wall had been planted in the road a few hundred metres ahead. The cars all just stopped. I grimaced as I passed billboards saying “Slow down James!”. If James were going any slower he’d be in reverse. As I sat beside columns of other stationary vehicles, I was tempted to roll down my window and shout at them “Do you do this every day? For the love of dog, why?!” When the road went to three lanes shortly before Manukau the pace picked up to slightly faster than a glacier, but then I hit that other conundrum of being stuck in traffic. Any time I swapped to the slightly faster moving lane, the lane I had just vacated would suddenly start to move and the lane I was now in would stop. Every damn time. I don’t know if anyone has done a thesis on this phenomenon,

MUSIC I’VE BEEN LOST FOR SO LONG AMERICAN FOOTBALL LYAM BUCHANAN

but they should. By the time I got to my destination in the CBD I was ragey and shaking and almost crashed my car in the parking building. If Hamilton traffic ever goes the same way as Auckland, I’m moving to Tapanui.

American Football has become a staple within the resurging emo/math rock scene. After their self titled 1999 album quickly success of recent tours, they’ve announced their new album

FILM BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE

and released the first single. Someone always gets upset when

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

gained cult status from it’s re-release in 2014, as well as the

artists try to experiment after producing something which receives such high praise, American Football have so far worked miracles in preventing their sound, and aesthetic in general,

This is not a cartoon for the kiddies. Based on one of the most famous and

from being tainted.

controversial Batman comics of all time, The Killing Joke sees the Joker at his

The changes come across like a natural progression. The band isn’t forcefully trying to alter any aspects of their sound, it’s more or less the effect you’d expect 17 years of development to have. Obviously these guys are no longer in their final days of college so the reasons behind the tracks aren’t the same, they’re still the

most depraved, whilst he presents us with a possible origin story for himself. This animated film should have been a slam-dunk; iconic comic, the original (and best) Batman: Animated Series voice actors, with an added prologue which would give Batgirl more to do before Joker turns up on her doorstep. But, in an attempt to remove controversy, they only create more problems, and ruin the whole affair.

same emotional musicians but they’ve got completely different

So we all know the Joker (probably), and here he’s trying to prove that one bad

motives behind the feel. The most noticeable difference is

day is all it takes to completely break with reality, as he brutalises Batgirl and

definitely in the vocals, instead of the raw carelessness you’d

kidnaps her father. The treatment of Batgirl in the original was controversial, as

expect they’ve now incorporated professional production and

she was merely there for that purpose, but here they try to justify it by adding a 30

harmonisation, a defining move away from the grungy angst

minute Joker-free prologue. While the later parts, following the comic, along with

of their ‘99 album. When this is accompanied with a new take

Mark Hamill’s always terrific Joker are great stuff, that 30 minutes drags it all down.

on the original instrumental style you’re left with a refreshed, refined American Football. Their appeal is far different than that of their staple sound but it’s anything but detrimental, they’re embracing progressing instead of trying to hold on to what once was.

In short, to give Batgirl more to do, to make her a strong woman or whatever it was they were trying to do, they have her seduce and sleep with Batman. That’s right, Batman gets it on with Batgirl, and he’s more than happy to have sex with his teenaged sidekick. It’s just wrong on so many levels, not to mention jarring, so that when we get to the stuff from the actual comic, it stays in your head and poisons

With the full album set to release on the 21st of October there’s

everything else. The Killing Joke should have been a crowning achievement, but

still plenty of time to jump on this mighty bandwagon.

ends up laughable.

N.21 / V.48

VICES

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

BOOK THE BELL JAR BY SYLVIA PLATH BRITTANY ROSE

It’s probably poor taste to make light of death since Sylvia Plath committed suicide herself, but this story killed me. At chapter fourteen I had to take a break because I cared too much about the protagonist and couldn’t deal with just how dark the story was becoming. This novel explores sexuality, feminism, depression and insomnia without overtly stating so, and handles these heavy topics with a cynical, yet poetic tone. In the first portion of the novel Esther navigates the superficial aspects of interning at a fashion magazine in New York City, she reflects on her time at college before plunging into a state of melancholy. There is a stark contrast between the first and second half of the book, but the unsettling tone of looming depression snakes its way through the entire narrative, tarnishing the giddy nights of liquor and

YOUTUBE THE GREAT WAR ALEXANDER NEBESKY

gentleman company in NYC. The bell jar (literally a bell-shaped jar) is referenced throughout and symbolises Esther Greenwood’s feelings of being trapped in her existence as a young, unhappy woman, circa 1963. While Esther struggles to breathe the stale air under the bell jar, Plath satirises the social and academic world in which her character exists.

Chronicling the First World War week-by-week 100 years

If you’ve ever felt like the most inane tasks are getting out of bed because you’re

on, The Great War is a digestible and informative YouTube

expected to, attending class because you’re too smart not to, or taking a shower

channel for history majors and the common layperson alike.

because you’ve been lying wide awake in your own dirty sheets for a week then

Hosted by Indy Neidell, who is apparently an actor as well

you will feel an affinity with Esther.

as a fascinating history smartman, and produced masterfully out of a warehouse in Berlin, the series covers every week of the Great War, examining battlefield-tactics, political machinations, and the horror of the birth of modern warfare.

range of videos delving into particular nations, weapons,

TV SHOW POWER

innovations, and figures prominent or noteworthy within the

ROSEMARY QUAY

Alongside the blow-by-blow war coverage they deliver a wide

period on which the series is focussed. As an ongoing project there is still a long way for the series until November 2018, 100 years after the armistice, which leaves a lot of content yet to be covered, despite the staggering amount of information delivered by the series since its beginning in 2014.

Power is hot. Power is exhilarating. Power is power! Honestly, if you’re looking for a TV show that brings something new to the table then this is it. The entire cast is flawless and the storyline is so mind-blowing that you’ll be off the edge of your seat and on the floor next to it. From the very first episode, Power plunges you into the world of James “Ghost” St. Patrick, played by the ever-so-charming

Notable topics include the history and development of the

*blushes* Omari Hardwick. Jamie, another name you’ll get to know him by, is

Zeppelin, a detailed analysis of the Schlieffen Plan, and

leading a double life. On one hand, he’s the kingpin of the most lucrative drug

interestingly some topics further afield — the Antarctic

network in New York and on the other he’s the owner of an up and coming New

expeditions during the War spring to mind.

York City nightclub.

Q&A episodes are also intermittently uploaded, and they do

Hoping to eventually leave the drug business altogether, Jamie sets his mind

exactly what you’d expect — they answer questions from fans

towards making his club a success but it turns out that becoming legit is not an

in a well-researched and articulate manner.

easy transition to make. Throw in a wife, kids, the re-appearance of an ex-lover

Excellent production, valuable and accurate information, a vibrant online community, and a generally impressive premise

who happens to be a federal prosecutor and a whole lot of enemies to the mix and you’ve got yourself one damn good TV show.

creates a fantastic learning resource or light historical

Oh and did I mention that 50 Cent is in it? If you’re not a 50 Cent fan, don’t let that

entertainment — however you want to look at it.

put you off. He does such a good job that you start seeing him as his character rather than the other way around. All in all, Power is a must see and deserves more stars than five. 15

NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

ARTS MCDOUGALL PETER DORNAUF

If you have been to the National Contemporary Art Awards

McDougall uses all the tropes associated with the

at the Waikato Museum and had your fill of conceptual art,

expressionist style — bright bold colours that are used in

where out of the 34 entries for the show, only one was a

a non-representational way, thick impasto application of

painting, and you are longing to see some serious pigment

paint, tormented subject matter and distortion of forms.

plastered across canvas, then make your way quickly to the Wallace Gallery in Morrinsville. Currently showing are the colourful expressionist works of Ewan McDougall. This is a mini retrospective, 20 works in total, covering a period of 18 years between 1997 to 2015. McDougall comes straight out of the figurative expressionist school whose origins reach back to the beginning of the twentieth century, exemplified in the works of artists from the German die Brücke movement. The New Zealander pushes the exaggeration and reduction of forms even more than these early European practitioners. His figures become

The New Zealand history of the style began initially with McCahon in the late 1940s and early 1950s, then cranked up a gear in the 1970s with Philip Clairmont and Tony Fomison. McDougall arrived on the scene a decade later and has pursued the same aesthetic ever since. This show is a great example of a style come out of early modernism and given a kick in the pants by a kiwi. It is cave art meets child art meets street art, often overlaid with a touch of quirky humour and more than a passing nod to the German-Dutch painter, Emil Nolde.

almost ciphers in their cryptic delineation, stick-figure and

As far as McDougall is concerned, painting of this kind is far

child-like primitive in most places. And the themes traversed

from dead. It shouts and screams vivid colours and glories in

are those somewhat similar anguished and troubled ones

thick visceral application of paint as his emblematic figures

the Germans explored; sometimes political, as in Iraq

dance and cavort wildly across his large canvases, sometimes

(2006), at other times more personal and existential, The

exuberant, sometimes sad. Such a riot of form and colour

Dry Horrors (2012) and then again a touch spiritual in The

provides a contrast to the more austere and cerebral stuff

Angel of Annunciation 2 (2003), recalling Colin McCahon’s

of conceptual art currently running at Waikato Museum.

work of the same names from fifty years earlier.

AUTEUR CINEMATIC FIRSTS RICHARD SWAINSON

As a social practice the cinema has a definite, agreed upon

3. WORKERS LEAVING THE LUMIERE FACTORY

starting point: the 28th of December, 1895, when Auguste

Directors: Auguste & Louis Lumiere, France, 1895

and Louis Lumiere projected 10 shorts to paying customers

By virtue of the fact that it was first film to be seen by a

for the first time. However, cinematic technology evolved in

paying audience, the beginning of cinema. An assortment

a far less clear cut manner, involving inventors on both side

of working folk exit a building between large open doors,

of the Atlantic.

walking toward and then beyond the camera, turning both

Today we have access to much of this early material on

left and right. There are women, children, men on bicycles

YouTube. What follows is a list of key cinematic "firsts",

and a horse and cart. A very large dog wanders in and out of

recommended viewing for any interested in the origins of

frame. In every sense, a historical record.

the art form. 4. FRED OTT'S SNEEZE 1. ROUNDHAY GARDEN SCENE

Directors: WKL Dickson & William Heise, USA, 1894

Director: Louis Le Prince, France/UK, 1888

If not the first film made by Thomas Edison, the first one to

The earliest known film, a charming shot of a Victorian

be copyrighted. Ott was an Edison factory worker known for

English family milling around their back section. Never

his comic sneezing and other gags. One is immortalised here.

projected in public during Le Prince's short life. 5. THE GARDENER/THE SPRINKLER SPRINKLED

N.21 / V.48

2. DICKSON EXPERIMENTAL SOUND FILM

Directors: Auguste & Louis Lumiere, France, 1895

Director: WKL Dickson, USA, 1894-1895

The first film comedy as well as — arguably — the first

The first experiment with synchronised sound, it doubles

film narrative in any sense. A man watering his garden is

in some critics' estimation as "the first gay film" as it

subjected to practical joke: a young man, possibly his son,

shows two men waltzing. A third plays the tune ‘Chimes

steps on the hose, interrupting the flow, stepping off it when

at Midnight’ on a violin, into an Edison phonograph and a

the man is looking directly at the nozzle. Infuriated, the man

fourth man gatecrashes the scene toward the end, for no

chases the boy, catches him, and administers a beating.

discernible reason.

Would not be allowed today.

VICES

Offer available at any BurgerFuel in New Zealand. Not available with any other offer. One voucher per person, per visit. Not valid for online ordering. Expires 06/11/2016.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

N.21 / V.48

VICES

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD DRUG DEALER INTERVIEW BY INDIGO SMITH

Who understands vices better than an addict? The person

hard to put stuff in words. When I’m baked everything just slows

profiting from the addiction. And who knows the person profiting

down, my thoughts are slower. It makes it easier to talk to people

the best? The one sucking his dick. Indigo Smith sat down with

because I can deal with one thought at a time instead of a million.

her ex-weed-dealer boyfriend to smoke some cones and talk about living the life of a weed guy in Ham East circa 2010.

When did you first smoke weed? Do you remember the first time? In Australia. I went over for a holiday when I was working at Pak n’

Give us a summary of your drug dealing days.

Save. I was 17 and it was a joint. After I left school and got kicked

I sold weed for a bit to make money while I was at tech before I

out of home I was staying with a friend and his family. His dad

started my apprenticeship. It was only for like a year, year and a half.

smoked weed so we’d just steal some stuff and go and smoke it in

I mostly sold to friends, or friends of friends. I wouldn’t sell if there

my shitty red car at the Gardens or whatever.

was more than a degree of separation. I stopped because there are easier ways to make money. Stoners are really disorganised, and

Why do you think you started?

you’re the middle man. Say, someone grows, and then sells pounds

Coz weed’s mean. I don't like drinking alcohol, so I smoke weed. I’m

to someone who then sells ounces who sells to me so I can sell 50

huge, if I drink alcohol and decide I’m gonna do something dumb

bags or tinnies. And people would just be on my back like, “Where’s

there’s not much anyone else can do about it to stop me. No one

the weed?” I’d be like “Fuckin’ wait man, it’s on its way.”

can lift me. I’m 130kgs and two metres tall.

Would you let people tick? Or did that lead to issues?

Do you rely on weed?

To start with, yeah. My friends knew where the weed was kept and

What do you think?

they’d just weigh their own and chuck it in their tin rather than wasting foil. Weighing and packaging tinnies is a fucking pain in the

No, tell me. You’re reluctant to answer, so that’s a yes?

ass. I switched to little plastic baggies because they’re airtight and

To a degree, yeah. But not a hundred percent. I can go without it.

tinfoil was just shit and would rip. I stopped though because people

It just makes everything better though. Why would I not if it just

started just owing heaps. I got it all out of them in the end though.

makes everything better?

Just had to cut them off if they couldn’t pay up front. Is it a vice? Is it a negative or positive thing in your life? What drugs have you taken, and is your girlfriend better at

Yes it is a vice but it’s a positive. But there are negatives, like the

getting fucked up than you are? I hear she is.

money for one, and social stigma I guess you’d call it. The fact that I

My girlfriend is good at getting so fucked up I have to pick her up

could loose my job over a drug test even though I’m sober at work.

off the ground and listen to her shit, and get her water and clean

Me smoking weed doesn’t harm anyone but I could still lose my job.

up after her when she vomits in my bed three times in one night. How do you get away with it then? I know. I’ve said I'm sorry. Answer the question though, what

My boss smokes weed too, so he will always make sure anyone who

drugs have you done?

smokes weed is “sick” if the company selects them for drug tests.

Not much, I don't really do drugs. Pills just don’t appeal. I’m not

Unless they’re a useless cunt.

crazy like you and your friends railing pingas all night. I've done acid and mushrooms a couple of times, but mostly weed.

Have you ever actually met a smart drug dealer? *Long pause* No, and I’ve met a lot of people who sell weed.

And smokes? Oh. Yeeeeah. I smoke cones with tobacco in them. Sometimes.

Is there anyone you used to smoke with that has turned into a sack of shit because they smoked too much weed and are now

More like all the time. Why?

basically potatoes? What I’m asking, is do some people smoke

Head rushes to start with. Plus it makes the weed last longer.

themselves stupid? Fuck yeah. [Retracted name] is a fucking idiot. And [retracted

Why do you like weed as opposed to other drugs?

name] ended up in jail. He was importing A class drugs using Silk

It's just chill. It's good. You can have a couple of cones and talk shit

Road though. And he had a sawn off shotgun. He was fucking stupid.

and then go play some games. After work it’s mean to just have a cone and chill out. Because I’m dyslexic my brain goes so fast during

All in all is dealing weed worth it?

the day. I don’t talk much, but my brain is going non-stop, and it’s

Nah. But smoking it is. 19

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE CONFESSIONS OF AN ONLINE SHOPAHOLIC BRONWYN LAUNDRY

Everyone has their vices, some smoke meth and hail Satan behind dumpsters at

THE “TREAT YO’SELF” TRAP

Maccas, some like to eat mattress foam, some collect their own hair and turn it

My brain has a well devised rewards system. If I accomplish anything vaguely

into modern art sculptures. Mine is distinctly less related to crack-cocaine and

productive, I can and will treat myself. I could have just finished a particularly

distinctly more of a first world, white girl problem. We are living in a material

nasty essay, managed to do a great job of my eyeliner, or I could just be

world, and I am a material girl, after all.

celebrating getting through another week at work without poisoning someone. I

Hi, my name is Bronwyn. And I’m addicted to online shopping. I last placed an order 18 hours ago. They say admitting is the first step, so here I go…

will pull out my laptop, open my browser, go to my happy place and find myself a fun reward for being a basically excellent human.

I don’t know how it got to be this bad (or good, depending on how you look at it).

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE

But I do remember how it started. It started with infomercials. I was about 10 and I

I am a selfish bitch. I don’t have kids to keep alive (nor do I ever plan to, they ruin

sat glued in front of the TV, fiending for my next hit of Stonewell Cookware/Shark

your life), a boyfriend to pay attention to, or even any pets to keep me company

Steam Mop/Nicer Dicer goodness. It seemed the purveyors of those wondrous

in my lonely, lonely, life (although I have considered purchasing myself a dog

infomercials had a gadget for every single mundane household task that you could

from Trademe many times). This grants me leave to think about myself always -

probably just use regular shit for if you weren’t obsessed with making life easier

my money is mine to spend as I like. And boy do I like to spend it. In fact, I think

for no apparent reason. But alas, my hippie Buddhist mother didn’t understand

I have it down to somewhat of an art. Call me the Van Gogh of squeezing every

telephones or why I felt so passionate about the Sticky Buddy. Needless to say we

penny out of my paycheck.

don’t share the same worldview and she just uses a regular mop. The day I discovered ASOS was a milestone for me. I was 14, sitting on the family computer, scrolling through the endless pages of shoes, clothes, accessories I could only dream of owning. I vowed that the day I got a debit card and a Sugar Daddy, everything my little heart desired would be mine. Seven years later, I seem to be making good on that promise. So here they are, my no-holds-barred, completely non-satirical* confessions… 20

N.21 / V.48

VICES

PHILANTHROPIC PRINCESS I am a regular patron of the Hospice, The Salvation Army, and many other op shops. No, I don’t shop there, ew, I’m not a peasant. I periodically donate all the shit I don’t want/things I regret buying/clothes that were ugly in real life so the people of Hamilton can be just as fabulous as me. What a hero. Basically, I’m waiting for my Sainthood.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FILLING THE VOID

I’M A SLAVE 4 FREE SHIPPING

Upon re-reading my previous confessions I have come to the early conclusion I

I once spent an hour on Boohoo trying to find something for $7 because I needed

am dead inside and fill the cavernous hole in my heart with stuff. I’m OK with this.

to spend $40 to get free shipping. You may be sitting there and thinking, that is perfectly acceptable behaviour, we are, after all, struggling students. But let

BUT I’M ALSO NICE AS FUCK, OK?

me riddle you this… The shipping was only going to cost me $5. My logic? Why

Contrary to what my aforementioned statements may suggest, I don’t exclusively

on Earth would I pay $5 for shipping when I could buy something else and have

buy stuff for myself. I often buy my friends, family, flatmates and flatmate’s cat

MORE material possessions that I don’t need or use? Duh.

random presents without prompting. If I see something and think of someone, my inner fucking Mother Theresa kicks in and I can’t help but hit that 'Add to

CROSS PLATFORM SUPERSTAR

Basket' button I know and love so well. This is why I am loved by all, because the

Now don’t be mistaken, my talent for online shopping isn’t limited to clothes,

best way to guaranteed adoration is through surprise presents. Anyone heard of

makeup and all the gender conforming stereotypes I am bound to as a middle

Santa? People love that bastard.

class gal with few intellectual prospects. I can get almost anything online, in fact I could definitely live a fulfilling life without ever leaving my lounge. But I’ll scratch

WHERE EVERYBODY GETS A BARGAIN

that idea because I need to go out to Sunday brunch. What else would I put next

Sale is my favourite word. If a website promises me “Deals you can’t miss!” I

to my OOTDs on my Instagram?

will not take the chance of missing them. This probably directly relates to the pandemic that afflicts many basic bitches like myself, known as FOMO, or Fear

So aside from clearly having no soul and filling the void in my meaningless

Of Missing Out. I last went to a formal occasion in 2013, but since that time I have

existence with super cute shoes, I think I’m doing alright. As the iconic Hannah

purchased no less than five formal dresses that sit in the back of my wardrobe.

Montana once said, nobody’s perfect, and I gotta work it. I really needed to get

God forbid anyone asks to borrow them though. Fuck off. One day I will attend

that off my chest, thanks for listening guys. Now that I’ve admitted my problem,

a ball and have the perfect outfit just lying around like they do in the seminal

I’m going to go buy something shiny off Sephora as a reward.

romantic comedy, A Cinderella Story, starring that babe Chad Michael Murray. But by then I’ll probably have to buy a new outfit because they’ll be sooo last season.

* This is satire. Obvi.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE REHABILITATION STATION

THE PORN ADDICT

CRISPY CHAKRAS CHRIS

family road trip it’s in a disabled toilet with the door unlocked. You don’t realise at

There was nothing better than being home alone at 13. Experimenting with the joys of genitalia is something I’ve always held in high regard, at least up until the point where I found myself masturbating as much as possible as a lonely 22 year old. We’ve all gotten off somewhere weird, if it wasn’t in the backseat during a the time but the more promiscuous the wank, the more you crave the next level. Specific fetishes don’t cut it anymore, you could throw some crazy babysittercuckold bukkake action at me and I’d barely crack a semi, I need location and

The story is always the same, "I just tried it once to see what it was like", "I was

the thrill of taboo. I’d probably still easily watch a good three to four hours on

chopped I didn’t even know what was happening", "I only do it when I drink". Get

the daily purely to keep up with the latest in the industry, though I find myself

fucked, chances are you tried a dart once when you were shit faced and now you

spending more and more time devoted to the lives of my favourite stars outside

can’t sleep without having a cheeky puff or you start to feel on edge if you haven’t

of the set. I guess it’s the same as watching a YouTube personality or a following

had a brew or a cone in a couple of days. Either way, these all started as seemingly

musicians on Instagram, just with a whole lot more nipples. Some call me a freak

harmless experiments and are quickly becoming crippling dependencies.

but I’d like to think of myself as more of a visionary. My next challenge is to

It would be easy to turn this feature into the same shit you’ve read over and over again, cliches about drugs and drinking, making fun of some tired stereotypes and then quoting Russell Brand as he tells you how to live clean and fuck models. The truth is there is no universal truth, no one size fits all solution and no “this is how to get your shit together” type mantra hidden in this feature. So instead of talking about how Steve Jobs invented the iMac on LSD or how Sigmund Freud did enough coke to kill a family of supermodels Nexus asked me to do something real.

impersonate a faculty receptionist on their lunchbreak, maintaining eye contact with clients while doing what I do best. I’ll be sure to keep you posted. THE POT SMOKER Cone, after cone, after glorious cone. It started off as an alternative to going to town but I’m probably high more than I’m ever sober. I function better this way and everyone tends to agree, it’s at the point where impromptu phone calls with my parents no longer leave me paranoid and somewhat schizophrenic. The only

You’re not going to find the true stories of 27 Club here or a drugs are bad Disney

issue that I can see with my habits is how screwed I’d be if an employer ever

channel story. Instead we spoke to real students with real addictions ranging

requested a drug test. People need to be more accepting of lifestyles and be

from caps, to races, to a poor unfortunate soul who masturbates four times a day.

open minded enough to accept the choices of others. I’m not affecting anyone,

Some of them kicked the habit and some don’t see a it as a problem, we aren’t

I’m perfectly safe doing what I do and it’s just rude to judge someone because

going to tell you if it’s right or wrong, just give you some actual students in their

they like a bit of weed every so often. What else are you meant to do when you

own words giving you some shit to think about.

get home from class or work? It’s the perfect tool to relax, enjoy the company

N.21 / V.48

VICES

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

of others and have proper sleep. When I need to stop I can, it’s definitely not something I can’t live without. Honestly, the most annoying part of being

• Rothman: Why are you even reading this? Aren’t you meant to be milking cows right now?

a part of this culture is the stigma. You’ll constantly see depictions of people

• Winfield: You’re smoking blues. Don’t lie. The only reason anyone even

with fat lipped World Industries and rags for clothes trying to preach for the

knows about Winfield's is because of the classic Big Lez ‘Winnie Blues’

legalisation of weed while their worryingly unclean dreads flail in the wind. We’re

phrase. Good job for jumping on the bandwagon.

not anything fucking like that, unless you’re straight out of 2004 Taranaki, the average stoner is just your average person. I’m certain you wouldn’t be able to pick me out of a crowd.

THE DRINKER I wouldn’t consider myself to be an excessive drinker, I’m someone who’s organised, efficient and not willing to waste my prime unnecessarily studying.

THE DURRY MUNCHER

My week is planned perfectly so I’m able to hit hospo, Friday arvo pub crawls,

There’s truly nothing else I’d rather do than stand outside by myself every couple

Saturday town, Sunday open mic nights and the classic Wednesday night Pizza

of hours and constantly smell like a musky corpse. Converting from having a

specials. All while keeping a perfect GPA and attending the gym a minimum of

mildly disposable income to constantly transferring money from my savings

six times a week. I’m living the life everyone wishes they could. It’s so common

for the next pack was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I’ve become

to hear “omg I’m such an alcoholic” after a bunch of posers drink two nights in

slightly asthmatic and no longer have anyone who wants to spend time with me

a week, sorry to burst your bubble hun but you’re not an alcoholic, you’re just a

so there’s really nothing but positives. Who needs a retirement fund when you

loser. Why would you want to live the uni lifestyle if you weren’t pushing yourself

can just save for chemo instead? As a 19 year old who’s been smoking for the

to your absolute limit each week. Work hard, play hard kids. As long as I’m not

past 32 years I’m well cultured and experienced in the stereotypes and cliches

dependent on alcohol as some form of escape then I really see no issue, even if

associated with each brand:

you are using it for some cliche “I just want to forget” reason then I still don’t see

• Marlboros: You’re an artistic goddess, you listen to far too much sad music and your friends constantly harass you for being ‘a l t e r n a t i v e’. • Holiday: You really wanted to go for that summer vibe but you ended up driving while boxing your car out with sweet nicotine. • Choice: Bud. Really? Are you truly so broke that you’re resorting to smoking the equivalent of mulled up lint?

how it’s actually unhealthy. You’re gonna go into a night moaning about your broken heart and preaching how you’re not gonna think about it anymore etc. etc. Plot twist, you’ll end up fucked off your face and spend the night violently crying over your ex while your friends are contemplating giving you a concussion so they can have the chance of enjoying themselves. When you wake up the next day you’ll feel so embarrassed about your poor life choices that you’ll sort your shit out and actually get on with it. Alcohol truly fixes everything.

• Dunhill: Now this is where you truly enter the realm of alty, you’re stepping away from the stock standard Malbys and shifting the trend, or at least attempting to. 23

YOUR SPACE A KNIGHTON TO REMEMBER From the reading nooks, to the avocado green kitchen, to the bunting hanging from every available surface, this house looks fresh out of the pages of Frankie Magazine. We’d be lying if we said we didn’t secretly want to live there, but it won’t stop us from taking the piss anyway. Perhaps the best part about our experience there, however, were the occupants and their matching jumpers, which they were all too obliging (they screamed “MATCHING JUMPERS”) to put on and ‘candidly’ pose for a photo. They then promptly asked if we could send the photos to them, probably so they could update their cover photos. Dreams were crushed however, when our photographer informed them the jumpers were made from dead rabbits.

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY GETTING HIGH

HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D FUDGEY STICKY MESS

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

VITAMIN D

EXPECTATIONS

By now we've almost reached the shuddering climax of the year and I'm sure

You take a hit and immediately you feel as though you are floating on Cloud 9,

you're all ready to ejaculate your best ideas onto exam papers and your end-

and the clouds are made of candy floss, and you are riding a unicorn and the

of-semester essays. Too bad there's still a few weeks to blueball through yet,

unicorn’s best friend is a fluffy flying kitty with eyes that look like the cosmos,

so put away the tissues and pull your heads and carrots out of your arses. On

and you look into that kitty’s eyes and you suddenly know things. You know

the plus side, however, it's spring which means New Zealand produce and

the universe, you feel the air around you, you feel the energy and aura of

vitamin D on tap (whythankyou), so make sure you’re taking a personal day

everyone in the room. You’ve seen things. The world is one big joke, and you

every now and then to get sand in your knackers and turn your foreskin into

seem to know the punchline before everyone else. You sit in a circle with your

a scouring pad.

friends just like in That 70s Show and discuss the infinite parallel universes you are currently a part of and the interconnectedness of you all as spiritual beings. You are happy to realise that there is a parallel universe where the magic kitty with the cosmos eyes exists. You listen to some music and you feel every note and vibration enter deep into your soul as the artist’s true meaning

In order to get you in the spring spirit here's a recipe that has nothing to do with spring but fuck you. This recipe has been long held secret to the D family, and because I love you (I don’t) I’ll share it with you today. If you were too cretinous and barnyard to make my carrot cake then I hope this isn’t beyond you.

is revealed to you in a moment of pure and beautiful clarity. You come to

Take 125g butter, 180g fruit puffs, half a cup of sweetened condensed milk and

the conclusion that you now know the soul of the musician and you would

250g of crushed wine biscuits and mix them together until you get a fudgey,

definitely be best friends if you met them. And you will meet them, because

sticky mess. Shape it into a log and roll in shredded, dessicated coconut, then

we are all such stuff as dreams are made on. And Shakespeare makes sense

wrap it in clingfilm and bung it in the fridge until it’s harder than your dick

and poetry is beautiful and life is beautiful and there is too much to see and

before you realised they were your sister’s Gone Wild pics. I mean, you should

do and not enough time to do it all, yet time is all that you are guaranteed in

have known, but you didn’t recognise the off-white mottling of the wallpaper

life. You are all too aware of your insignificance in this universe but at the same

or the 70s lightshade studded with flyshit. The Nirvana poster was always out

time you feel the power and potential you hold surging through your veins

of focus, but then what 19-year-old brunette with an 8/10 B-cup and a pubic

like tiny rivers running into the pool of wisdom that is your soul. You feel both

bone smoother than a bathroom tile doesn’t have Kurt Cobain looming over

happy and sad, and you realise the true meaning of life. Which you definitely

their bed while they distend their lower abdomen with 11 and a half inches of

won’t forget the next day.

triple-A powered silicone? Serves you right for leaving home; that’s when she changed her bedspread and upgraded to a new MacBook so she could crack

REALITY

10k karma. Still, those nights you thought you heard the low frequencies of

You spend five minutes trying to get a HDMI cord into your laptop so you can

her and the on-again-off-again were the nights you’d lie awake with a pulling

watch an animated kid’s film, then laugh about it for another five minutes on

feeling under your jaw, not quite playing with yourself. You wondered what it

the floor. You eat some snacks that taste really good, listen to some Pink Floyd

would be like to walk in on her with the shower head set on massage; you’d

and then go to bed.

hesitate at the threshold. She’d just come back from yoga, slinky and pink. There’d be something about the taboo — you’re family, but then you’ve more

Word of advice: I have never experienced this. I was writing for um, a friend…

than once shot yoghurt into a dirty pair of underpants to a POV of a 27-yearold MILF sucking off her teenage neighbour. Today, you don’t quite make it to unsubscribing. Not quite. Then unwrap and slice to 1” thick.

N.21 / V.48

VICES

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

HEIL HOGAN TALES OF A SOBER D: HITCHHIKER EDITION

NERD YORK TIMES TRAILER TRASH JARED WOOLDRIDGE

LYAM BUCHANAN

Trailers are like drugs. They’re bad for you, they ruin your life, and you Only someone who truly has no aspirations would think picking up drunk

cannot stop yourself whenever a new one drops. Today people see trailers,

hitchhikers was a solid idea. It’s surprising the number of inebriated strangers

get hyped beyond the human capacity for hype, have this hype dragged

who will more than happily jump into my car with nothing more than a slurred

out over an inhumane length of time, so that by the time the final product

“Woah thanks dude, I needa Greensboro,” before promptly transcending to

comes out, you’ve either seen the entire thing in the trailers, or the sheer wait

some distant land where they think they’re even slightly sober and overly

and anticipation inevitably makes the final product impossible to live up to

deserving of female affirmation. When doing the hitchhikers route these are

expectations. We’ve seen this more and more over the past few years, and

your tamest passengers, the highest risk involved with these creatures is being

it’s about time the studios behind all these games, series, films etc, finally got

accidentally locked into some form of deep and meaningful. It only gets truly

their act together and came up with a marketing campaign which wouldn’t

interesting when you end up with someone covered in an unsuspected layer of

leave the final product feeling incidental.

vomit or a couple in the midst of a full blown breakdown.

There are a few problems with modern marketing of trailers. One, most of the

Couples are the perfect mix of entertaining and extremely worrying. One of

story is given away by the sheer length and amount of trailers there are. Looking

them is always far more sober and they’ll constantly attempt to be polite and

at you, Amazing Spiderman 2. Coupled with this is giving away the money shot

respectful; however at the same time their partner will continuously touch

in the trailer, ie showing Cap and Iron Man fighting, or the Trinity for the first

your shoulders a little, or far too much, as they proceed to delve into why their

time on screen. Just have some restraint! I mean come on, no one was surprised

significant other is nothing more than a fungal infection gone horribly wrong.

when Nick Fury survived in Winter Soldier, because the trailer ruined it!

It’s impressive how quickly a sober driver can become an awkward extension

Then there’s the promises the trailer makes, and the product breaks. Cue the

to a threesome. I feel as if I speak for all my taxi driving brethren when I say it’s

outrage over the amount of advertising Joker got in the Suicide Squad trailers,

extremely obvious that you’re partaking in some form of hand stimulated R18

compared with how little he is in the movie, not to mention the scenes which

action in the backseat. I’d just like to remind everyone that my vehicle is a family

were cut entirely. Then there are the examples like Watch Dogs, where a game

friendly space, not an empty parking lot with a hella sweet sound system. It’s

promises gameplay with glorious visuals, and the graphics end up being a

as if I’m catering for some new trendy fetish — does shit small talk about our

lie. It keeps getting worse and worse, as promises are made, key aspects are

degrees really get you off?

highlighted and pushed into the spotlight, and then you reach the finish line

Some passengers are on another level, more often than not they’re usually so

and you’re left exasperated and confused.

far gone that they couldn't care less who you are and proceed to drag you into

Seriously, that’s why none of these blockbuster games or films have the

the depths of some truly riveting drama. Before you know it you’re halfway

staying power they used to, they’re marketed to such an extent that they’re

down Wairere Drive on a mission to help this complete stranger put the pieces

pretty much dead on arrival. Look at the new Star Wars movie, Avengers

of their life back together, attempting to reignite their spark with a past lover,

3 — sorry, Captain America: Civil War — or even No Man’s Sky, which were

while also trying to solve the overlying mystery of who vomited on them and

successful and anticipated, but faded away before long (not so long in No

where this semi figurative concoction of fluids is actually located. When they

Man’s Sky’s case), replaced by the next great marketing campaign. Studios

finally reach their destination you’ll feel like you’re losing a piece of yourself. As

need to wise up, I sincerely think trailers should be taken away from marketing

they fumble towards the entrance to their abode you’ll drive off into the night,

and given to directors. That way, maybe we’ll actually get something teasing

a singular tear will well up, but never roll down your cheek. Just like the bond

what the movie will be like, without making and promises they can’t keep. You

you’ve formed with an pungently acidic stranger, something which will never

wouldn’t release an ad for Whitakers and promise a Ferrari, after all.

have the chance to flourish.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

SAWIT NEW PRESIDENT

NEW LOCALS NZ STUDENTS ARE “LOOSE UNITS”

LAWRENCE PENNEY

JUSTIN J. GRETZKY

During the SAWIT AGM held on the 23rd of August we had a change in hands

Canadians aren’t tame. We have a reputation for being polite, but knowing

— voting in a new President, Vice President and five new student executive

how to party. Upon moving to New Zealand, I have come to the realisation us

members for the student executive committee, for the 2016/17 period. Over

Canucks pale in comparison to Kiwis.

the coming months the outgoing SAWIT President and Vice-President will be inducting and assisting the incoming President and Vice President into the roles, and ensuring the transition is as smooth and disruption-free as possible.

It’s a completely different culture, that goes without saying. Let me elaborate. “Pre-gaming” in my hometown means have a couple of relaxed Molsons while listening to some Nickelback and then heading out to the actual event. In

As the newly appointed Vice-President (by way of vote) I am surprised

New Zealand, it’s an institution. Pre-gaming here means getting absolutely

and delighted to have such an opportunity as this, where I can help make

buttfuck loaded to the point of blindness, then going out, not buying any

a difference in the Wintec student base. I cannot wait to continue the

drinks and acting like a total hoser, eh.

progressive work that already has a great foundation already laid down by Logan and Neum, and doing so under the new SAWIT President, Nima, who has served as a SAWIT student executive member for the past year. Along with keeping in line with the current foundations that SAWIT has, it is my objective to also bring some NEW ideas to the table. Ideas such as more student involvement, reaching out to more students, and being more proactive at Rotokauri campus as the student association — that we are their student association too.

community, to act as your voice on behalf on you all. I look forward to this role on the Student Association for Waikato Institute of Technology, and to meeting as many of you- my fellow tauira (students) over the next year. Some things that we at SAWIT will be keen to meet with other students about is what YOU as students have to say — what it is that you all would like voiced about (or to) Wintec. Because we are here to be YOUR advocates. Feel free to come into the SAWIT office for anything, whether it be low cost stationary, student advice or issues, advocacy, or just simply to have a chat about something (anything).

N.21 / V.48

lovin’ college kid, but when I first arrived, the level of seriousness to which Kiwis take their pre-games truly shocked me. I realise now that in part, it’s a money thing. The price of alcohol in bars here is absurd. Paying nearly $10 for a beer would turn anyone away from actually drinking in bars and I think this is what fuels the drinking culture, particularly among students. Not many people can afford the prices, and those who can afford it don’t want to seem like rich kids/loners, so they go along with the

It is my privilege to be able to serve for you, the rest of the Wintec student

Now I’m not saying I’m a keener. I like to party just as much as the next hockey

VICES

culture. Although I miss the social nature of drinking in bars, I’m happy to go along with the Kiwi way while I’m here. It’s all about immersing yourself in the traditions, right?

Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

PAK ’N SAVE HEAD CHEF POTATO SALAD INGREDIENTS

DIRECTIONS

8 medium potatoes — peeled

1. Chuck a large pot of water on the boil with a pinch of salt. Once boiling

3-4 eggs 3-4 rashers of bacon 1 spring onion 1 green pepper Capers (optional) 3/4 cup mayonnaise 1 Tbs dijon mustard 1 tsp dill

throw in your potatoes, peeled and quartered. 2. In another saucepan boil your eggs for 8 mins. 3. Fry the bacon in a frypan until golden and dice up spring onion and pepper. 4. In a small bowl, throw in the mayo, mustard, dill, salt and pepper. Mix well. 5. Once the potatoes are boiled (don’t over boil them they should be just firm enough not to fall apart in mixing the salad) cool them to room temp. 6. Throw all the ingredients + dressing (mayo, etc) and give it a good loving mix around. 7. Serve as a side to a delicious BBQ.

Salt and pepper

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

WINNER

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

Her application for Blind Date was a poem that rhymed “extended BCS” with “my life is a mess” and included a *mic drop* at the end after she assured us she was a fun gal. He is a College Hall heart-throb, a rower who drinks every night and has been described as “Fuckin’ loose lmao”. Call the press, we have outdone ourselves with the matchmaking.

HE SAID

SHE SAID

I wasn’t nervous at all to be honest, but that could’ve been all the

I arrived at House on the affectionate side of tipsy where I

drinks I was slamming back in the halls. I walked in and got sent to

was directed to a cute guy at the end of the bar. We made our

the bar where I waited for five minutes, but it definitely felt longer.

introductions and decided to kick the night off with a tequila shot.

She then came over and ordered us two tequila shots to start off

Discovering that we both like alcohol, we only ordered a side each

the night, which I thought was fuckin awesome. She was definitely

and spent the rest of the tab on drinks. Conversation flowed well

too old for me but regardless, she had some awesome banter so

and we discussed topics from the Rotorua Council to previous

I definitely enjoyed talking to her. We both ordered cheap sides

sexual escapades. I found out that he is actually a model, so I can

because that way we could spend more money drinks, she ordered

put that on my resume. As we were getting on well and had drunk

chips with garlic aioli and I ordered chicken pate. So after necking

our tab I took him to my favourite bar. I’d say we were both well

a couple of shots I headed to bathroom where she followed me for a

gone by this stage, so I decided to get up on stage for open mic

cheeky blowjob. Not what I am used to on a first date but come on

night. The karaoke vibes were at play so we ventured down Vic

who’s going to complain about that...

street to the karaoke bar only to find that it was closed. Filled with

We then finished up and headed over to another bar for a couple more drinks, it was an awesome setup because they had karaoke set up and the owner offered me a free drink (What a Lad). After finishing up at the bar she said to come over for some cones at her flat and I just couldn’t resist. So I am sitting there in her flat blazed out of my mind watching Ex on the Beach and her flatmate with the glasses was hot as hell, but unfortunately she was heading to bed.

disappointment we went back to the bar for beers and yarns. I gave him the invitation to come back to my flat for a sesh and he took me up on that. My friend picked us up and I got home and rolled a fat one. But it seemed that that was a mistake because he fucked out and went outside to ‘call his sister’ and never came back. So I then proceeded to send promiscuous snaps to all my friends. I had such a good night, thanks Nexus and House.

So my date offers the sleepover option and I went outside to tell my ride, but instead I ran away... Sorry.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

HOROSCOPES

WORDFIND G

nethereigons. “Stings the plums,” to be precise.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)

Your horoscope this week suggests that you keep breathing,

Your starsign is creative and inquisitive. In order to enhance

these powers bestowed upon you, read a book. And no, the

A W

but this week we’re nominating you to take this mantle on. Go

forth and paddle, like all the cute as fuck ducklings on campus.

A W

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)

Have you heard about all of the cute as fuck ducklings on

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19) The stars suggest that the mint scented ‘Original Source’ bodywash does not go down pleasantly on the

in order to increase bodily health and vitality. In and out, in and out, very similar to another function vital to our species. PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)

FIFA instruction manual does not count. ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Did you forget about that cup of coffee until it was well and truly cold this morning? Yeah, it’s going to be a bad week for you, not to worry, Mars predicts a coffee truck in your near future. TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) There’s not technically a star sign that’s represented by ducks,

campus yet? Well I hope so, because they’re there, and they’re cute as fuck. CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Mars is in your zone this week, which is either a sign to eat more Mars bars, or a sign to eat less Mars bars. The stars are unclear, but I’m sure your love handles or lack thereof are clear.

Sin

Cats

Dunhill

Greed

Gambling

Larping

Needles

Sex

Spliff

Rothman

Pingaz

Dope

Holiday

Runescape

Marlboro

Swamp kush

Bong

Hentai

Trips

Lyam

Bathsalts

Double brown

Drugz

Escapism

LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22)

Winnie blues

Furries

Narcotics

Double denim

Flatting on Edinburgh St is both dangerous and rewarding.

Gigolo

Bondage

Junkie

Addiction

It’s rewarding because you’ll see at least one hot undie-run a weekend; dangerous, because you’re bound to be next. VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22) If you forgot your little brother’s birthday last week, you should be ashamed of yourself. Although to be fair, you’re here at Waikato Uni, you’re probably already ashamed of yourself. LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22) Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants! Absorbant and yellow and porous is he! Spongebob Squarepants! SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21) If you’re chewing gum in the back of L.G.01, please do it quieter. If we wanted to hear Violet Beauregard, we’d watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21) If you have the Spongebob Squarepants theme song stuck in your head for the rest of the day, then you have no-one to blame but yourself because you actually read the horoscopes. 32

N.21 / V.48

VICES

SIMPLE PUZZLES 4 SIMPLE PEOPLE

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUDOKU 9 6 3 6

1 4

2 4

7 8

9 9

5 1

6 9

MEDIUM

TRIVIAL

4 2

9 6

6 EASY

HARD

CODE CRACKER

a) How many people lived in Hamilton in 1900? b) When did New Zealand join the United Nations?

25 19

2 23

14 26

11 24

c) Where is a cat's tapetum lucidum? 1

d) Whow was known as the Mother of Modern Physics? e) What was the first Spice Girls Single?

13 24

WORD TWIST

21 6

5 25

5 13

12 15

19 24

L E

8 5

25 17

15 15

Code Cracker

Trivial

4. Z

10. X 5. N

ANSWERS

1. O 2. H 3. J

a word.

a) 1000

used more than once in

15. I

diagonally and cannot be

14. C

12. W 13. R

6. V 7. Q 8. A 9. L

11. P

b) 1945 as a founding member

c) Eyes

horizontally, vertically or

26.S

The letters must touch

25.B

18. M 19. G 20.Y

make from these letters?

23.U 24.T

17. F

16. K

How many words can you

21. D 22.E

d) Marie Curie

e) Wannabe

TRIPLE COMBO

FROM

ANY 3 PIZZAS + GARLIC BREAD + 1.5L DRINK

Available Mon to Fri ONLY at Hillcrest – Shop 9, Hillcrest Shopping Centre, Cambridge Road, Hamilton AND Davies Corner – Unit 2, 303 Clarkin Road, Fairfield, Hamilton

.99

* Conditions apply Quote code: 58319

dominos.co.nz 0800 30 40 50 MOBILE & ONLINE

ORDERING SITE

Trampoline Etiquette #2g Selfies are not advised

PH: 850 4222 Email: info@leapnz.co.nz

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