Nexus 2016 Issue 24 by Nexus Magazine

N.24 / V.48

Cheaper bus rides in 2017 University of Waikato students will get a 30% discount on bus fares next year thanks to a new agreement signed with the Waikato Regional Council.

Hamilton bus fares will cost $1.70 when you use a BUSIT card and student ID. The 30% discount also applies to regional buses.

Buses 13 and 17 come from town and stop at Gate 1. The Orbiter circles the city and stops at Gate 2. Buses 2, 15 and 20 also stop close by.

Buy your BUSIT card at the Student Centre from February 2017. These cost $15 which includes $10 credit.

Student discounts come into effect from 1 February 2017. Visit busit.co.nz for bus routes and timetables.

Clarence Street 7am – 10pm, 7 days a week. Phone (07) 839-4056

Pics Peanut Butter 380g

Kellogg’s Nutrigrain 500g

Kiwisoft T/Tissue 32pk

Sunlight Dishwash 500ml – 3 for

Prices valid until Sunday 16 October 2016. Trade not supplied. Valid at PAK’nSAVE Clarence Street only.

THIS PRICE IS ON THE DOWN LOW

FEATURES 14 Falling in Love with Nepal Jacqs Leuiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i

18 Uncle Yam: Career Counsellor Uncle Yam

20 The Great Escape Bronwyn Laundry

NEWS & OPINION

ARTS & CULTURE

FUN & GAMES

Lettuce

Covered

Reviews

Nexus News

Arts

Snapped

Uni News

Auteur

Blind Date

Sports

Your Space

Puzzles

CARE

Cooking with Uncle Yam

ON THE COVER

COLUMNS

FINN BOWMAN

That Time I...

Learnt to Drive Stick

Heil Hogan

Festivities

That Time I...

Got a Hand Job in Class

Nerd York Times

Year of the Nerd

The I.T. Guy

Who's Slim Shady

Travelling: Just the Tip

The Final Guide

EDITOR News NEXUS MAGAZINE Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz DESIGN Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan james@nexusmag.co.nz

EDITORIAL I’M A FREE BITCH, BABY BRITTANY ROSE

CONTRIBUTORS Tom Collopy Freddy Walker Jared Wooldridge Peter Dornauf Dr. Richard Swainson

There is something about summer that I find freeing — perhaps it’s because I throw caution to

Jacqs Leui'i

the wind, along with any form of sensible attire and start living in scarves as makeshift halter

Uncle Yam

tops, basic denim cut-offs and maybe sandals if I can be bothered. I also drink a lot of wine.

Miss Daisy

Not that this is a new thing, I just switch to Lindauer because the bubbles make everyone

Papa Smurf

else much more fun. K, so I act like a total trash-bag during summer — but I’m a Hamiltonian Hoe, remember? Lazy jokes on 7 Days tell me this is a Bad Thing™. Honestly though, living in Hamilton during summer has a lot of perks — including the fact that everyone scarpers, leaving the roads traffic free and the line at Duck Island Ice Cream tolerable. As summer draws nearer, the days get longer, students piss off home after exams, and

Matthew Rae Nina Fox Troy Anderson Sarah Hyde COVER Finn Bowman

affluent families pull their children out of school early to take a family trip to Rarotonga or some shit. I don’t know, this is all based on rumour since I’m not from an affluent family. My

ADVERTISING

summers, ever since I was 15, were spent as a mallrat. I got paler and paler every day that I

advertising@nexusmag.co.nz

pushed the Tee & Capri for $79 on customers. This year, as you know (because I won’t shut up about it), I graduate. While this brings the promise of freedom from exams and poorly

ONLINE

delivered online papers; it also brings a crippling sense of panic. When I think about the future

facebook.com/nexusNZ

sprawling out in front of me I feel that motherfucker anxiety rising from my gut. It bubbles

@nexusmag

from my mouth in a meek “what the fuck am I going to do with my life?” kind of squeak.

Spotify: nexusmagazine

That “What if I fail?” thought stalks me every time I speak about the future with my (very supportive) extended family. I can’t be the only one feeling this frightful feeling, though. I also can’t be the only one willfully ignoring it. I refuse to accept I’m the only one with a desire to run away, and because we’d all rather daydream about our freedom rather than study for exams, Bronwyn has put together

OFFICES Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton

a guide to escaping Hamilton (p.18) once half the population buggers off. Wisely, she included my absolute favourite summer spot — Raglan. Raglan is full of memories for me. It was the first place I ever saw real life, actual marijuana; it’s the place I first decided to say fuck it, I’m sunbathing topless; and it’s the first place my car broke down. The first two are all about that free-spirited vibe I totally love — the third, not so much. I know there is still one more week of semester, and then exams, but after that school is OUT! It’s time to blast Bad Romance and yell “I’m a free bitch, baby!” at the top of your lungs, wine glass in hand. It’s time to laze around in a blow up paddling pool and read magazines. It’s time

ISSUE 24 FREEDOM 10 OCTOBER 2016

to delight in climate condoned nudity. Fuck yeah, summer. Bring on freedom!

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE STUDENTS OF WAIKATO UNIVERSITY ZANIAN STEELE, WSU DIRECTOR 2014-2015 This Alex Winiata drama has made Waikato students look like a bunch of sexist

to brag about the number of women he’s “shagged” in order to gain kudos and a position in student politics. I’ve seen people explaining that this is sexual objectification for personal gain. I have existing friendships (or at least acquaintanceships) with a fair few of the women who are vocally admonishing Winiata’s comments, and they’re women whose opinions I value.

dullards. I don’t think that’s who we are. Winiata’s comments are sexist. The

Yes, this “drama” has reflected poorly on our University, and our Student

follow up article in the Waikato Times indicated that he had a history of sexist

Union, and our Student Magazine. And that bothers me. I’m going to speak

behaviour. A few people have rallied to his defence and said he is a good mate.

from my personal perspective here — this bothers me as a student, as a co-

That may be true and I suspect that beyond this drama he might be a good

worker of WSU staff, and as the Editor of the magazine. I am loathe to agree

guy, that however does not make his comments better or his apology for them

that misogyny is an accurate representation of the tertiary institute where

less half assed. Nexus Magazine had a duty to discourage him from printing

my political and feminist views have been cultivated by incredible lecturers

those comments. At times, Nexus has censored articles where it feels content

and tutors who’ve ensured classes are safe spaces for students to explore

may be inappropriate as it did with last years News Editor’s piece about the

ideas, challenge perspectives and develop critical and analytical thinking

state of the Student Union finances. The magazine has promoted structural

skills (but then I can only speak from experiences within Sociology/Social

sexism by allowing the publication of his comments and failing to provide any

Policy, Education and English).

decent response after being reprimanded by the Waikato Times. There are some fantastic people at the Student Union and Nexus Magazine who have worked very hard to promote progressive values and I feel this year’s President has taken a step in the right direction. That said however, this debacle need not have played out if someone had asked Winiata not to publish said comments. I am not suggesting that he should not have been allowed to stand in the election, we are a democracy and democracy has produced Donald Trump, rather I am asking the student body to be wary of what is going on around

Having been the Deputy Editor in 2015, and the Editor this year I’ve spent a lot of time in the Student Union Building. I do not believe that sexism is an integral part of the way decisions are made here. I do not believe that last year’s Student President, Shannon Stewart, nor this year’s President Indula Jayasundara have perpetuated negative attitudes towards women. This is not to dismiss the claims that some previous Board Members were totally sucksville — I don’t know, I wasn’t here.

them, to be informed citizens and not to fall for sexist gimmicks like Winiata’s

Sucksville is not the Student Representation we have now, though. President

comments.

Indula Jayasundara, Vice-President William Lewis, and Vice-President Māori

It’s a hard time to be a student. There are also a lot of changes on campus that could affect you. For all the self-promotion the university has engaged in, many jobs have been lost at the faculty of education and job losses are

Hana-Te Kowhai Ohia have worked incredibly hard this year to speak for students. It’s been harmonious, it’s been wonderful, it’s been entirely boring from a news perspective.

likely in FASS and Pathways. Not only are students losing their lecturers and

Nexus does NOT have “a duty to discourage him from printing those

support staff, some students employed at the uni are out of pocket as tutoring

comments”. I do NOT have a duty to censor the candidate bios. Candidate

jobs are cut too. Your student union has been awfully silent on these issues.

bios are a 150 word count space for each nominated student to present

Truth is it’s not cowardice, they can’t say much, not when they are dependent

themselves how they wish to be perceived, and encourage students to vote

on the university administration for money after all that’s where they get their

for them. If a third year Marketing student fails to think about audience

hundreds of thousands from. Waikato University has not been known as a

perception when crafting a piece of writing it’s not my fucking issue. It’s his.

liberal or progressive campus, that of course can change though, through your

I am not his PR slave. I will not edit a candidate bio so it sits closer to my

effort. Let’s try to call people out for sexism, for racism, let’s be aware that

personal values and beliefs.

there are a lot of negative changes going on at the university that will have huge and negative consequences for students. University is not just about getting drunk and stealing the Cameron rd sign, it’s not just about parties or

Do I personally think what he said was admirable, or even okay? Fuck no. I rolled my eyes, scoffed and voted for other candidates.

classes either. Let’s try to make this place a bit more progressive, lets engage

Do I think I should use my position as Editor to paint a candidate in a positive

students on the real issues, the political ones and the community ones and lets

light? No. Democratic process is important and the magazine should remain

have a bit more social commentary in Nexus and a few less blind dates.

neutral throughout the election. In the same way I haven’t edited your lack of capitalisation on “faculty of

Thank you for your lettuce, Zanian. This is the first time someone has

education” or missing apostrophe in “lets” (contraction of “let” + “us”), I

contacted me directly in regards to issues with Winiata’s comments printed

will not edit a piece specifically intended to directly represent the values,

in Nexus. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen the Stuff, Herald, Waikato Times and

opinions and beliefs of an individual, i.e Lettuce, Vox Pops, or Candidate Bios.

UK Daily News stories. I’ve seen the Facebook posts. I’ve seen the discussions

Sure, this is a weak comparison as it’s focused on surface errors, rather than

around his choice of language. People believe it is inherently misogynistic

substance. However, it supports my point — it isn’t my job to edit your voice.

N.24 / V.48

FREEDOM

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

It’s not fair to suggest that Nexus is merely Blind Dates. We have covered the redundancies in Faculty of Education. I have met with Tutors Unite! and Tertiary Education Union to hear their concerns and give their voices a platform. Here are a list of the times we’ve directly covered shit going down at the uni: • Issue 9, FoE Fucking with FTEs We interviewed the University at the beginning of the Faculty of Education consultation period. • Issue 10, Keep our CUP We provided a link to a ‘Keep Our Cup’ campaign alongside a story detailing the rumoured plans to introduce a third party provider at Waikato Pathways College. • Issue 12, Sad Tutors :( We took the concerns of tutors on fixed term contracts to the University and asked for comment.

NEWS REFLECTION TIME INTERVIEWS BY JAMES RAFFAN

• Issue 15, FoE: Fucking Online Education In response to angry lettuce we covered student concerns that papers are being moved online at the detriment of learning. • Issue 16, Redundancies, Retirements & Resignations

Given the theme of this week is Freedom we wanted to give

We interviewed the University following the finalisation of

our regularly scheduled “News writers” the week off and

the Faculty of Education “Staffing Plan”.

just fill a few pages with some interviews of people who

I resent the idea that we tolerate sexism — how could we when I regularly write editorials which get the response “congrats on another fem fuelled pile of shit”; how could we when I committed

are about to be free. The Senior Leadership Team of the WSU is preparing for some major changes so we thought we would interview them on their new found “Freedom”.

Nexus to Thursdays in Black back in March?

Do you know what else we’ve done this year? Actively worked

INDULA JAYASUNDARA

to provide students with information so that they can make their

Current President

(Read more here: bit.ly/2dPK6Iz)

own decisions about politics — we’ve published double page interviews with Andrew Little, Metiria Turei, James Shaw, Gareth

To quote Denzel in Training Day, “My man”. From Indula’s Got

Hughes, and David Bennett. We have covered tertiary education

You Covered, to Indy 4 Songs you have had a pretty solid

policy announcements, the 2016 Budget, ‘Whitestreaming’, the

year. You are about to be free of the WSU, free of Nexus and

University’s plans to build a marae, and matters relating to NZUSA.

free to finally move all your gear out of the spare offices….

We have provided many an interview with Mayoral candidates and local council candidates. Do you know what I haven’t done? I haven’t asked any candidate or politician to remove or alter a sentence because it expresses a sentiment I’m not cool with, regardless of how much I disagree. Why? Because it is not my job to tell students what to think, but to give them information from which to draw their own conclusions. Brittany, Editor

Whats next? That’s a question I’ve always known the answer to, for the past four years — “It’s my second year”, “It’s my third year” and so on. This is me bidding farewell to both the WSU and the University of Waikato — it’s a great feeling but I will miss Waikato, it’s been my home away from home. I’ve been confined to education for the past four years and I knew exactly what to expect, although my leadership roles on campus and the general student experience have witnessed progressive variances. Finally, I am happy to say that I’m a

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters

free soul with no certainty around what my plans could be. What was the hardest part of the job? Making decisions. The decisions you make as the WSU

are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for

President reflect not only on yourself, but also on the wider

lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or

stakeholders. It’s almost like the entire organisation is judged

refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to

by how you conduct yourself and the decisions you make —

any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

especially the decisions you make on a micro level. 3

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

On a general level, a tenure as President tends to strip you of certain aspects

David West and James Raffan for providing me with moral support during my

to life. There is no such thing as clocking off at 5pm (cause there is always work

worst times as much as celebrating my best and for doing all the hard yards to

to be done) and meal titles, may it be breakfast, lunch and/or dinner, become

achieve our targets; the University Council and OVC for their inclusiveness; and,

completely obsolete cause you eat when you can — these are all part and parcel

last but not least, my family and a handful of close mates (you know who you

of the responsibility and you should be willing to embrace it.

are) for all the support and encouragement. It is experiences like these that keep pushing me to continue playing an ambassadorial role among our community.

What words of wisdom do you have for Will? I have a few actually. There are some popular quotes embedded in them too, let’s see if you can guess who used them. Firstly, STUDENTS are your boss, not the watch the world burn”. Secondly, never get on the high horse and identify yourself

WILLIAM LEWIS

as ‘Head of Governance’, understand how the organisation works on an operational

Current Vice-President

other way around — some might say otherwise, but William, “People just want to

level and demonstrate comradeship even if it means getting down on the dirt and cleaning puke out of an O-Week van — “Be water my friend”, be flexible. You might get the urge to do a hundred things when you start your tenure. I certainly did and I had to slap myself back into reality. Always remember that “40% of something is better than a 100% of nothing”. What did you always want to say to the VC but haven’t? I really appreciate the time I get with the Office of the Vice-Chancellor every month and with Neil himself. I have always wanted to share the following words with him, had I ever sat down for a coffee with him, without having to worry about subsequent meetings, on a Sunday afternoon: “Neil, I guess in a weird way we both shared the same philosophy coming into our roles. If the current model isn’t making the organisation the best it could be, there is a need for change. I am happy with the changes I’ve managed to make within the WSU in terms of laying that strong foundation for more benefits to trickle down to our students. As a student, I am genuinely excited about the direction in which our University is heading. I hope your vision shapes into reality and the University of Waikato will prosper as a leading institution in Aotearoa New Zealand and beyond — I have confidence that the WSU can play a vital role in making your vision take shape.”

Free from the shackles of the Vice-Presidency where you were a heartbeat away from having a heartbeat, free from long meetings and arduous reporting, do we even need to write you questions or are you just going to filibuster the shit out of this and say what you want anyway? What is your big focus in 2017? WSU’s New Vision for Campus. We’ve got lot of big ideas around how to make student life better and I can’t wait to get stuck in. We have a big plan for creating more student-focused spaces on campus because students keep telling us there should me more dedicated areas for clubs and more student social areas we can all take ownership of to make the campus our own. We also know that WSU has the potential to engage students so much more with what is happening on campus. We have a plan to use a wider range of media and to revamp our existing channels so that we are all connected better. Also expect to see your Board Directors out and about campus a lot more. By the end of the year, a lot more students should know who the WSU is and what we do. What do you think of the organisation you have inherited? We’ve had a great year this year pulling together a lot of new ideas and getting students excited about our plan, so we’re in pretty good shape. This is the

What was your biggest achievement? Creating a more cohesive and inclusive student culture which restored faith in the Waikato Students’ Union.

first time in a long time that an incoming board will have a solid work plan to pick up and carry on. The 2017-20 Strategic Plan sets a great direction for our organisation, so next year we just have to get stuck in and do it. Internally the WSU is also functioning pretty well. Next year we need to build

What are you going to miss most of all?

on the good governance practices that have been started over the last term

The WSU family — the Board, Operational Staff and students.

because our success does need to be protected. We are running a ridiculously tight budget and are unbelievably strained to continue delivering the level of

What do you feel you have left half done or still needing to be worked on?

services students expect and deserve from us. This means we need to keep

To me success is a moving target; when you achieve your goals, create newer

making sensible and pragmatic decisions with a clear understanding of what

ones and be on a continuous pursuit to become the best version of yourself you

our priorities are.

can possibly be. So to relate this back to your question, there is ALWAYS work to be done. One that needs constant work on is spreading that sense of community

Are you excited by the diverse field of candidates for the WSU?

on campus; the decisions we make as an organisation produces community

I actually am. Most candidates have run on a really positive message and put a

‘surpluses’ and ‘deficits’ and it is vital to maintain a strong surplus — it solidifies

lot of their own ideas out there around how they would like to contribute to our

our presence on campus.

New Vision for Campus. I’m sure any combination of candidates that end up on the board will do a wonderful job. (Note: Question asked before the results)

Basically take however long you need to say any other thank you’s or anything you have wanted to say.

What advice can you give to whoever is the incoming VP?

It is important for me to highlight that the WSU is an organisation run by

Don’t try to be as cool as Kate Lunn or William Lewis have been in the role — it’s

students, for students. The Board of Directors consists of elected students; we

just not possible.

too go through the same difficulties as our counterparts do. Being your President this year has been an honour, but I have had my fair share of challenges. Special

What changes do you want to see made to the way the organisation operates

thanks goes out to the general student body for believing in me and my team;

to benefit students?

the Board for all the support and for making this year a success; Operational staff,

One of the the things that I know we can do better is to build on the progress of this

N.24 / V.48

FREEDOM

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

year in getting as many students as possible involved with what we do. This year

is in leadership and am looking forward to working alongside him and having

we have had focus groups of RAs, class reps, clubs and everyday students feeding

meetings that are much shorter than this year. I have much confidence in his

into our ideas and giving us their own. The more of this we can do, the better.

ability to lead us into the future and deliver on his promises.

How would you describe what the WSU / Nexus will be to someone in 2017?

How much of the New Vision for Campus can you deliver?

21st century — finally. We are going to be across so many more platforms

Individually, probably not much, but as a board I am extremely confident that

because it’s not 1995 anymore. For WSU, think relevant and synonymous with

we will deliver on all initiatives outlined in the Annual Plan that were taken from

the student experience. WSU will be integrated so much better into the everyday

the New Vision for Campus. I am also confident that we will also be able to

lives of students by engaging better and shaping a better campus for students.

make traction on other initiatives outlined in the New Vision. I am particularly

For Nexus, we’ve been kicking the tyres on things like an online portal for Nexus,

passionate about building stronger representation models not only for Māori,

developing Nexus TV and Nexus Radio and even sending out a My First Nexus to

but also for the students in Tauranga, for those from underrepresented faculties

school leavers to start the bad habits early.

and clubs also. Doing this will better inform us in our decisions and strengthen our relationships with different demographics throughout the university. As an

What will your leadership style be like?

individual I will work hard to ensure that we as a board deliver everything we

Inclusive and issues based. I want WSU to tackle the big issues head on and

promised in the AGM, chur.

build consensus through frank discussion. We already have a pretty solid agenda heading into next year and so most of my focus will be on getting the team in

What challenges do you think still exist for you?

the right shape to tackle it.

I do feel supported by the whanau in WSU but I would love to see more Māori and Pasifika come on board, I am so stoked that so many have been nominated as candidates but I would love to work alongside more internally. This is something

HANA-TE KOWHAI OHIA TREADAWAY

that is most definitely improving, however, it is not where it needs to be. Another

Current Vice-President Māori

that I am here to represent and advocate for Māori. I need to be in tune with the

challenge is ensuring that I am meeting goals that the different roopuu on campus as well as the Māori student body have of me and reminding myself needs of our tauira and ask our whanau about what they need rather than me

As the first (hopefully) two full-term VP Māori we have had in some time it

assuming. This is where it is important to maintain a strong relationship with

might seem like the Freedom theme doesn’t apply to you, but you may be the

these roopuu and ensure that our communication channels are fluid.

most free. For starters you will be free from sharing an office with Will, free from Indula’s long ass meetings and free from Jolene Skeen (she knows what she did).

What are you hoping to get out of a new VP? Apart from FREE LUNCH EVERYDAY?! Baked goods are good too. First of all,

What are you bringing to the role in the second year?

I hope this is someone I can genuinely get along with since I’ll be sharing an

This year was full of new learning opportunities and new experiences. The start

office with them, but the potentials look pretty promising. On that note, I also

of my term saw me trying to become familiar with the role and all that it entails,

hope they smell nice. I’d hope that it’s someone who has a different perspective

I found that this consumed the majority of my time. Coming into my second

than me but isn’t a dick about it. I’d love to be able to bounce ideas around with

term, I know that this will not be a problem. I will have more time to work on

the new VP, and bonus if we have some shared interests. I’m looking forward to

strengthening our relationship with the Māori community and strengthening

working on some choice initiatives with the new VP.

Māori representation as a whole. So, I guess I’ll be bringing my experience and relationships I’ve built in my first year along with the passion to increase and strengthen Māori representation to my second year. I’m excited for what 2017 has in store for us. How have you seen Māori representation change in your first year?

ELECTION RESULTS President

Phillip Mahe, 256

William Lewis, 659

Charmaine Riley, 241 Roobie Mercer, 219

WSU and Māori representation have a history with many highs and lows. This year I have seen a stronger and more united Māori student voice both on campus

Vice-President

Nicola Smith, 209

and off campus. We saw the growth of Te Kahinga Tumuaki (Formation of a

Kaelyn Kingi, 256

Calum Hughes, 205

Māori Student Council with Presidents from all Roopuu Māori) by welcoming

Sianiti Bulisala, 213

Ari Lewis, 186

Cassidy Temese, 148

Francis Bridge, 182

Carl Brandt, 138

Soni Samra, 178

Connor Schween, 89

Connor Schween, 162

Shaun Letcher, 56

Emily Ruane, 162

Tumata Kokiri to the table who represent the Faculty of Education and more specifically Sport and Leisure. We also strengthened our voice at a national level by partnering with Te Waiora to represent Māori students at Waikato at the Te Mana Akonga table. Next year I want to continue this growth by growing Te Kahuinga Tumuaki and strengthening our voice. What do you think of your new President?

Moses Simpson, 141 Vice-President Māori

Shivani Rao, 140

Hana-Te Kowhai Ohia, 652

Shaun Letcher, 114 Jane Gibson, 102

He’d be pretty cool if he grew out his afro. I really do hope that he doesn’t lock

Directors

Fraser Clement, 85

his office like Indula did and give me access to his beer stash. I will miss sharing

Alex Winiata, 451

Deane Mason-Loveridge, 80

an office with him and listening to Coast NZ nonstop or The Breeze Live when

Sianiti Bulisala, 342

Alec Wilson, 76

he’s feeling like being a part of the last two decades. On a more serious note,

Kaelyn Kingi, 308

Shiv Gounder, 74

I think that William will take WSU where we need to go. I am happy that he

Cassidy Temese, 281

Anna Barhorst, 70

Kim Jong, 262

Cameron Harper, 31 5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News from the University

ONYA

SLAM DUNK Hillary scholar Hamish Sheridan has been named in the NZ 3 on 3 Basketball team to play at the World Champs in China.

STUDYING IN KOREA Fiona Norton (left) and Rhandal Meijernk (right) are doing Waikato OEs at Yonsei University in Korea. They both won Prime

MBA IN MĀORI

Minister’s Scholarships for Asia.

Te Puna Moanaroa is the first Waikato MBA graduate to write her research in Māori. She researched ways to revitalise the language.

TOP ACHIEVERS Jemma Konig (pictured) and Xu Tang have each received a University MAKING THE TEAM

of Waikato Top Achiever Doctoral

Hillary scholar Aidan Sarikaya made the NZ U21 Junior Black Sticks

Scholarship worth $5000.

team. He’ll play in the Junior World Cup in India and the Sultan of Johor Cup in Malaysia later this year. Photo credit: Photosport Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email studentnews@waikato.ac.nz.

NEED TO KNOW

TEACH ENGLISH OVERSEAS

GRADUATE IN DECEMBER

JOB-HUNTING?

Pathways College offers a five-week

Will you finish your studies this year? Even

About to graduate and need help finding

CELTA course to get you qualified to teach

if you don’t know your final grade yet, you

your big break? Get in touch with the

English in schools and universities around

can still apply to graduate on 13 December

Career Development Services team for

the world. Classes start 14 November. Visit

(Marae) or 14 December (Claudelands).

free help and advice. Visit waikato.ac.nz/

waikato.ac.nz/go/celta for more info.

go/careers for more info.

> apply to graduate, to apply before 14 October.

THE WAIKATO OE

LIBRARY OPEN LONGER

MAKE YOUR SUMMER COUNT

Travel the world while you study on a

The Library is now open longer at

Want to fast-track your degree, catch up or

Waikato Overseas Exchange. Pay the same

weekends, from 8am-7pm on Fridays and

try something new? Summer school is the

fees and earn credit while studying at one

8am-6pm on Saturdays and Sundays. For

way to do it. Applications for T Semester

of our 50+ partner universities worldwide.

more details, visit waikato.ac.nz/library

(7 Nov – 18 Dec) close 4 November. Visit

Open to all faculties and degrees,

waikato.ac.nz/go/summerschool for more

applications for B Semester close 15

details.

January 2017. Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/ waikato-oe for more info. Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

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News NEXUS MAGAZINE

SPORTS OPINION 2016 HIGHLIGHTS TOM COLLOPY

It’s the final issue of the year and what a crazy year of sport it has been. Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers broke the city of Cleveland’s 52 year championship drought. Leicester City produced the unfathomable by winning the Premier League at 5000/1 and the Denver Broncos gave Peyton Manning the perfect send off by beating the 15-1 Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50. The Hurricanes won their first Super Rugby title and the Cronulla Sharks claimed their

SPORTS OPINION WELLINGTON RUGBY ISN’T TO BLAME FREDDY WALKER

It’s the sport story of the last fortnight. Wellington Rugby player Losi Filipo went unpunished for what can only be described as a brutal street assault on two males and two females. As is appropriate, the New Zealand public were outraged by the decision and called for Filipo’s head. Wellington Rugby, however, stood by the player’s side, and that’s where things turned sour.

first NRL Premiership. These are just a few of the amazing sporting feats achieved

Protestors began hounding Wellington Rugby, calling their

the past year and seeing as it’s the last issue I want to look at my favourite sporting

actions inappropriate and calling for Filipo’s contract to be

achievements of the last 12 months.

terminated. As a sports player myself, I think that this was wrong.

The first Tuesday in November is always the biggest day of the year at work (at the TAB) for me as it is the day the Melbourne Cup is run. Last year’s Melbourne Cup was historic as Michelle Payne became the first female Jockey to win the Cup on New Zealand horse Prince of Penzance, trained by Darren Weir. Michelle rode

Yes, Filipo’s actions were disgusting and something he himself will admit to being something which should be punished. But no, it is not Wellington Rugby’s decision on whether or not he is guilty. If the court rules that Filipo can play, then he should play.

the horse brilliantly. For much of the race she had the horse on the rails with cover

Wellington Rugby didn’t deserve the hammering it got via social

until just before the home turn. She then came off the rails and patiently waited

media. Standing by their player was their best and in reality, only

for a gap. When she saw that gap there was no looking back, the horse kicked on

option. Think about Maria Sharapova, who everyone knows now

and found the lead at the 150. The rest is history, a 100/1 winner of the Melbourne

as the Russian tennis star who was caught for doping. Head,

Cup rode by the first female jockey to win this great race.

Sharapova’s major sponsor, stuck by her even through being

I can’t leave out Leicester City’s incredible feat. The team was resilient and had an incredible chemistry between them. They continued to produce week in and week out which led to a Premier League title for the Foxes. Unfortunately they have been unable to reproduce the same form so far this season as they sit mid table after seven games. Their Champions League campaign has started brightly though and I think that they will find their Premier League form in the coming weeks. Even though I picked the Warriors to beat the Cavs in the NBA finals and go back to back, the Cavs winning an NBA Championship was one of my favourite sporting moments of the year. At 3-1 in a seven game series the job looked done for the Golden State Warriors. They had three games, two of which were at home, to close

convicted of the accusation and having to serve a suspension. Yet Sharapova is the one who has received the negative press, and this is absolutely fair enough. Head has received minimal hate, and the same needs to go for Wellington Rugby. They were in a dilemma where they had a decision to make and decided to stick by their player. For that, there should be no anger. But, sport being sport, Filipo’s actions were always going to be highlighted because of his status as a rugby player. It was a despicable act. But Wellington Rugby didn’t deserve the heat that came from it. Direct it at Filipo, for it was his mistake.

out the series but Lebron and the Cavs refused to give up. Two convincing wins in

Wellington Rugby have since terminated Filipo’s contract

games five and six tied the series at 3-3 which set up a decider at Oracle Arena.

through “mutual agreement”. It was always going to happen

Kyrie and Lebron had been huge for the Cavs in the previous two games and it was

after the backlash from the public. But don’t think any less of

these two players whom made defining plays in the 4th quarter of game seven

Wellington Rugby because of what happened because they

to lead the Cav’s to an NBA title. Cleveland’s drought was broken and Lebron’s

were just doing what any of you would do in a situation where

promise was fulfilled as he lifted the Larry O’Brien trophy for the land.

your friend was in trouble — sticking up for their man. 7

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

Just in Case you Cared... Some of the things the WSU has achieved in 2016 Re-joined the New Zealand Union of Student Associations (NZUSA) and Te Mana Ākonga (TMA)

The cost of providing free tea & coffee

$836

38 ,500 Copies of Nexus magazine have been distributed this year

In 2016 the WSU completed

Advocacy Cases

$21,000

Hosted the first independently organised Inter-Union Hui since 2009.

Very Good

The WSU Awarded

Good

$9000

Mostly Satisfied Not Always Not Satisfied

Because of SJS over 1,000 students will have earned over

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FREEDOM

Individual contact instances with clients, university staff and external third parties occurred for Advocacy Cases

Overall satisfation with the WSU Advocacy Service

into our thriving network of WSU clubs

Worked alongside the University to get a 30% student discount on bus transportation

Over

2500

$14, 000

Invested over

bookings 138 Room Bookings 78 Equipment Bookings 47 Van Bookings

236 was applied for by our network of clubs across three contestable grant rounds.

263

$3,500,000 in 2016

in individual scholarships

Made provisions around the use of ‘Panopto’ recordings for technical papers in first and second year.

CARE NEXUS MAGAZINE

WASA AFRICAN MUSIC NIGHT UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO MOMENTO CAFE Saturday 15th October 2016, 19:00-00:00 $5

WASA Facebook: @WaikatoASA

WAIKATO AFRICAN STUDENTS ASSOCIATION

NEXUS AWARD WINNERS Most Gratuitous Use of Expletives Lyam Buchanan Tony Arkel Most Reliable Contributor Award Jared Wooldridge Best Reviewer Joshua Morris Best Column Bronwyn Laundry, Expectations vs Reality Rookie of the Year Tom Collopy Best Feature Writer Onyx Lily Writer of the Year Dr Richard Swainson

7TH OCTOBER 2016

CLUBS AND SERVICES AWARD WINNERS Community Contribution Award Waikato Gardeners’ Club Best Club Event Islam Awareness Week Best Marketing and Promotion Waikato International Students Association Rookie Club of The Year Award Surfers’ Club Academic Club of The Year AISEC Sports Club of The Year Tumata Kokiri Pasifika Club of the Year Cook Islands Students' Association Māori Roopu of the Year Te Waiora o Wananga o Waikato Cultural Club of the Year Study Abroad Network Lifestyle, Interest or Activity Club of the Year Noize U People's Choice Award Study Abroad Network Service to Clubs - Staff or Community Derek Kivell Service to Clubs - Outstanding Club Member Dylan Wilson Wilf Malcolm Inter-Faculty Shield Faculty of Education Legacy Award Dr Richard Swainson Supreme Club of the Year AISEC

NEXUS MAGAZINE

TV SHOW SOUTHPARK JARED WOOLDRIDGE

Now, South Park is something you probably already have a strong opinion about. For me, I’ve enjoyed it every now and then, it has a unique way of putting important lessons that society as a whole can sometimes forget in their day-today discourse. Then, sometimes, it is literal shit. The series just started its twentieth season, and keeping with its current trend of serialised storytelling and seasonlong arcs, they’ve set up their focus for their next ten episodes: internet culture, and the US election. South Park has always been a product of the time, given the fact that they only ever start an episode a week from its airdate, and this has been its strength. They can always keep up with trends other shows may miss. Two episodes down already, it’s established its targets of Trump and Trolls (the same thing?). The premiere is a little messy, trying to jam in everything the creators missed while off the year, but the second episode bounces back with a brilliant episode on our current fascination and dependence on social media, and the menace of online trolling. The mystery of who the troll was was a pleasant surprise as well, and builds up an interesting confrontation later in the season. Like last season, where the villain turned out to be paid advertising, South Park is interesting to tune into these days

TV SHOW LUKE CAGE

merely to see where they’re heading down any particular rabbit hole. It may be more hit-and-miss than ever in quality, but the journey there can still shed some important

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

light on otherwise forgotten, or unspoken, issues. Well, here’s hoping, anyway.

While superhero movies may be shallow, predictable and inconsequential at times, superhero TV shows, on the other hand, are anything but, as Netflix has proven with Daredevil and Cage cannot live up to its two predecessors entirely, it is still a

FILM THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN

very fine series, with more depth, style and fine performances

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

Jessica Jones. Now they’re back at it, with Luke Cage. While Luke

you’d find in other comic-book affairs. Luke Cage follows the hero Luke Cage (funnily enough), who was introduced in fine form in Jessica Jones. Here, the former convict-turned neighborhood superhero leaves Hell’s Kitchen for Harlem, which provides a refreshing change of style and pace. It’s got a very retro 70s feel, with added social relevance. This is street-level crime fighting, with dodgy politicians, an at

Love me a good western, and you can’t beat the classic that was The Magnificent Seven (wrong, I mean Sergio Leone, but still classic). The epic tale of a band of seven gunslingers hired to protect a town from a bad dude is just the latest of the 2016 remakes, but oddly enough this one isn’t that terrible. In fact, it might even be adequate, or dare I say it — good. Nowhere near as good as the original though.

times unreliable police force, and opportunity-seekers trying to

This new film isn’t so much a classic Western, rather it is a Western blockbuster,

take over the streets with violence, in down-and-dirty personal

but that’s fine. The Western has mostly been dead for quite a while now, and this

take on how a superhero fights the injustice around him.

is what audiences are used to. The tale is pretty typical: group of seven rogues,

The 13-episode serial story structure does work better for a more personal take on the genre, but at times the format falters. The later episodes aren’t as strong, as the villain of the piece falters

each with a different backstory, hired by a vengeful townsfolk to protect and deliver justice to an evil corrupt tycoon. It’s tried and true, and the movie plays it predictably. No great surprises here.

in the face of other villains Netflix have done (Kilgrave and

The main draw of the entire affair though is the central seven (plus two others,

Kingpin). There are a few issues with the pacing and some story-

it’s technically nine really). You can tell, just by watching them, that they’re having

threads that don’t get an entirely satisfying payoff, but it’s still

fun. Actors like Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt and Vincent D’Onofrio get to play

a damn good series. The style, the music, all combine to make

cowboy, and obviously have a good time doing it. The villain might be basic, and

Harlem a real character in its own right, while the performances

it might not delve deeply into the interesting make-up of a post-Civil War frontier,

by the cast are as exemplary as you’ve come to expect from

but it’s got gunfights and cowboys! It doesn’t try to beat the original, not by a long

Netflix at this point (barring Adam Sandler). While it can’t live

shot, but it enjoys the fun of adapting this world. It’s not going to win any Oscars,

up to its sister shows, it stands admirably on its own.

but it’s the rare remake that can justify it’s existence through sheer enjoyability.

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FREEDOM

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

ALBUM 22, A MILLION BY BON IVER BRONWYN LAUNDRY

Bon Iver is the brainchild of indie sad boy Justin Vernon, and is apparently credited as a band, which, despite having a filthy hipster phase from 2010-2013, I didn’t actually know. I just assumed it was Vernon, alone in his parent’s garage weeping over his keyboard and writing songs about his ex. Which, considering how much of the production is credited to him, is probably accurate. 16 year old Hipster Bron has been waiting for this album for five years, and I can safely say she wouldn’t be disappointed, nor is 21 year old Slightly Less Hipster Bron. 22, A Million manages to aurally capture personal crisis and its most existential point and then shift that crisis to resolution, all within ten glorious (and vaguely nostalgic) songs. All of Vernon’s work is highly cultivated and produced to create the specific sound Bon Iver has come to represent since their last album, but not so much so that you

SINGLE UNTIL BY STEVEN JAME$ LYAM BUCHANAN

lose the raw feeling behind it — and the same can be said for this album. All of the lyrics are honest and relatable, yet enigmatic, and are clearly completely personal to Vernon. The underlying pretension usually present in indie music is still evident, with track titles such as “10 d E A T h b R E a s T ⚄ ⚄" that may make you want to roll your eyes into oblivion. All in all, 22, A Million delivers what is to be expected and then some. Even if we did

This track takes the vibe closely associated with artists such

have to wait five years for it.

as Spooky Black and, a less experimental Bones. It portrays a form of closure, not in the sense that it’s calling the end for the genre but more complimentary to the shift a lot of artists are taking away from the now typical edgy scene. The clean electric sample which forms the backing of this and clever repetitions have a huge impact on the strong

YOUTUBE CHANNEL CRASHCOURSE

outcome. Instead of the typical layering where the vocal track

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

track couldn’t have been more fitting, it’s little complexities

is completely detached, the lyricism is mixed so it sits within with the piece not on top of it. The collection of these small elements results in the production of a vulnerable yet relaxed

Picture this: it’s 24 hours until an essay deadline and you haven’t attended a single

track which sits in the background no matter the environment.

lecture for that class because fuck 8am lectures. You are despondent, high on

Other than the guitar sampling, I’m unsure as to why it reminds me so heavily of ‘Thugz Mansion’ by Nas, 2Pac etc. I guess

caffeine and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You need to learn at least enough about a topic to scrape a pass. This is where CrashCourse comes in.

it’s more or less just that sense of closure you expect after an

CrashCourse is a YouTube channel run by the Green Brothers, John and Hank (If

emotionally intensive movie. I’m inclined to say he’s a bit of a

you were teenaged and female post-2005, you will recognise John from books

one hit wonder for the time being, but I’ve never been a huge

such as Looking for Alaska and The Fault In Our Stars).

fan of young upper-middle class kids trying far too hard to be thugs on the preppy teenage bandwagon. ‘Until’ is definitely a welcome exception to Steven Jame$’s usual style.

CrashCourse takes topics that may want to make you violently bash your head against the wall (Thermodynamics, Shakespeare and Foreign Policy to name a few) and turns them into fun to watch infographics that are significantly easier to understand than your boring Year 11 History teacher. They have a range of different experts to cater to a massive variety of topics, so you get the feeling you’re actually being talked to by someone who knows their shit, and not just someone who is proficient at Google. Next time you have approximately no time to learn something, check out CrashCourse. It may make you feel a little bit childish watching, but you might actually learn something. 11

NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

COVERED FINN BOWMAN Age: 19 Occupation: Produce boy at the local supermarket, haha. Describe your style in three words: Rough, unfiltered, goodness. What camera/accessories do you shoot with? I mainly shoot with my Dad’s old Nikon f-801 that I dug out of his closet 3 years ago. I carry a 50mm 1.8, 28mm 2.8 and an OG nikkor 16mm 2.8. I also use a coupley point and shoots too. What’s your favourite vibe to shoot? I feel my photos look best when I feel invisible, you know? In some environments I want the subject to completely dismiss me so I don’t disrupt what they are naturally doing. But then again I sometimes want the subject to notice me, I want to capture their expressions as they see me. With vibes Iike a lot of people around, lots of noise and natural light. That's really all it is. Favourite memory of NZ summer? Rioting at BW 2014/15, Some hectic shit went down on the last night a war broke between the two camping areas tents were ignited, full cans of piss constantly hurled through the air and a 4x4 was flipped hahaha. Will never forget that new years. Where’s next on the travel agenda? Travelling is difficult because every country just seems so goddamn gorgeous making it hard to chose haha. I just came back from Los Angeles so I would be keen on Southeast Asia, Europe and South America. Some day one day. What’s your biggest inspiration? Inspiration is everywhere, but in photography some of the names I look up to are Robert Frank, Khalik Allah, Tom Gould, Richard Avedon, Jason Clifton and Dexter Murray. Where can we find your work? Look my name up on all the shits, but I would like people to see my format that’s where I put up all my best work. finnrobbowman.format.com. 12

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FREEDOM

Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

ARTS ATTACK THE DARLING PETER DORNAUF

The Chair of The Institute of Contemporary Arts in Britain,

clothes. It’s the equivalent of a racist remark in art circles.

Ivan Massow, made some unflattering comments about

So the art Gestapo got him. He was sent to the gulag, lucky

the arts and was promptly sacked. How is that possible

to avoid a stoning.

one asks? Is this Monty Python reborn? What possible combination of words could warrant the sacking a man of the arts in such an important and prestigious position?

essence it’s where ideas or concepts take precedence over traditional aesthetics. So you could buy a urinal in a shop,

the current darling of contemporary art — conceptualism.

sign it and exhibit it as a sculpture piece. It’s ideas art. It’s

Always a bad move to attack the darling. In the arts you can

to get you thinking. It was reborn in the 1960s and again in

slag off stuff from the past with a sort of impunity, but you

the 1990s and is now all the rage in contemporary circles.

dare not touch the flavour of the month. You do that at your

Painting is passé. You don’t have to be a skilled artisan, just

peril because artists take themselves incredibly seriously,

have a smart idea and a bit of nous about how to embody

especially conceptualists. Their precious egos must not be

that notion inside some format. That could be your own

damaged. Plus, and more importantly, a nation must look as

unmade bed or a shark floating in a tank of formaldehyde.

if it’s up with the play in the political game of hip aesthetics.

Actually those two things are examples of famous British

He said that conceptual art was “pretentious, self-indulgent,

RICHARD SWAINSON

It’s an art form born in response to World War One and in

Well, he made some slightly disparaging comments about

So the man was told to sling his hook. What did he say?

AUTEUR REFLECTIVE MUSINGS

So, what’s “conceptual art”?

conceptual art works. Probably what Mr Massow had in mind. Loose lips sink careers. Don’t piss on the precious product.

craftless tat”. Ouch. You can’t say that. Not out loud. Not

If you want to see some conceptual art in a gallery near you,

even if it has a grain of truth. This is blasphemy. It is letting

make your way to the Waikato Museum immediately where

the side down and near to saying the Emperor has no

the National Contemporary Art Award has truckloads of it.

It continues to be a privilege to write this column. This year,

It is to that minority that this column and by extension the

as I clocked up half a century, I wondered at the wisdom of

business whose name it takes are addressed. While the age

it. Does a 50 year old man have much to say to students who

of the internet has undermined the commercial practices

were born around the same time as he left university? Does

on which the old video rental stores were based it has also

a column devoted to the quaintest of anachronisms, the DVD

facilitated a whole new generation of film buffs, ones often

rental shop, have any relevance to a millennial readership?

weaned on specialist classic channels like TCM. Through

It's unfortunate that the only feature piece I contributed to Nexus this year was so negative. When challenged to write a promotional article about the International Film Festival I became fixated on the fact that few students have ever shown much interest in this annual event. The crudeness of expression was no doubt taken as curmudgeonry but the

YouTube and other online sites you can access historical material like never before. A couple of my recent columns explored the earliest of these fragments, experiments and "actualities". No other art form has such specific beginnings as film does and thanks to the internet they can be experienced, afresh, 121 years after the fact.

piece wasn't intended as the rantings of a frustrated old

Auteur House exists for those whose appetite has

man. My point was rather to emphasise the consistency

been whetted by the digital age but not entirely sated.

of student tastes across the three decades I have been

Concentrated collections such as ours offer something that

in Hamilton. Mainstream student indifference to the film

online services have yet to develop or may well be incapable

festival in 2016 precisely mirrors that experienced in 1985.

of developing: the human touch. In its own, imperfect way

The cinema is commonly thought the preeminent art form

this column has been an attempt at the same thing: a

of the 20th century, but its days of occupying centre stage

communication from one misguided enthusiast to any or all

in the culture ended with the advent of television. If you are

interested in same type of cultural expression he is.

a movie aficionado today you are in the minority.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FALLING IN LOVE WITH NEPAL JACQS LEUI’I

me for eternity. It was no surprise that by the time I arrived back in Kathmandu I had already resolved to return to Nepal as soon as time allowed. Plans got underway immediately, and before the next year was up, I found myself back in the Khumbu Valley. Back to what had very quickly become my second home. I have since returned to Nepal every year for increasingly longer periods of time, with my desire to return becoming far more complex than my original selfcentred motivation and the personal gratification of trekking and climbing the

Jacqs Leui’i is from the small Waikato town of Tokoroa, but ran away to Otago at 17. She’s been on the search for freedom ever since, moving to London with her husband and children in 2003, and has travelled to Europe and beyond. Now she works for herself, and climbs mountains in her free time. As a Westerner, she has the freedom to explore the breath-taking Himalayan Mountain Range and enjoy it. Her love for Nepal is unshakable, despite the unpleasant political, social and environmental climate of the country and her

highest mountains on earth. I am now irreversibly aware of the discrepancy of privilege within and between countries. I believe that no human should suffer because of where they were born, who they were born to, or what gender they are. I have truly learnt and believe that EVERY LIFE MATTERS EQUALLY. I have seen this. I have felt this. I know this.

knowledge that she has the freedom to board a plane and leave. How does a

The devastating earthquakes of 2015 and the continuous political discord within

first world gal come to terms with this? She gets involved in charity.

Nepal have acted as an impetus for me to work to resolve in whatever way I can the lack of freedom, the discrepancy of privilege and the marginalisation of

My love affair with Nepal with its expansive and all-encompassing scenery, along with its generous and charming people, began early one morning on a cramped underground journey to work in central London. Flicking through the morning’s free newspaper, I came across an advert for a charity trek up the Khumbu Valley towards Mount Everest, culminating at the head of the valley with promised views of the world’s Mother Goddess Chomolungma.

minority groups experienced by many Nepali on a daily and lifelong basis. I have recently established Unite for Nepal a small charitable foundation dedicated to the support, development and growth of sustainable community driven health, wellbeing and equal opportunity projects in rural Nepal. We at Unite for Nepal believe anything can be achieved through generosity of spirit, actions based on the imaginings of the mind, a compassionate heart, and a

Three months later, and having raised nearly £8000 for charity, I landed in the

commitment from the soul. Nepal is a country with a particularly alluring and

madness that is Kathmandu. I had no idea what to expect, but had always felt

magical energy. It is a country whose irresistible pull is founded in an ancient

a calling to the Himalaya and an affinity with the philosophical teachings of

society and culture which, to this day, is still upheld on a day to day basis by

Buddhism. As soon as my foot touched her soil and my lungs breathed her air this

those who call themselves Nepali. With all of its layers of complexity and its

country, this place, these people, this culture permeated my heart and my soul.

multitude of contradictions, Nepal has a sense of wholeness and calm.

The next thirteen days involved an internal flight to Lukla (reputably one of the

Above all else, the most lasting impression of any visit to Nepal, is that left by the

world’s most dangerous airports) following the Khumbu Valley to Gorak Shep,

Nepali people themselves. Those who are always smiling in the face of adversity

where we would summit Kala Pattar, a small hill by Nepali standards sitting at

and whose hospitality, generosity of heart and forever welcoming smiles will

a mere 5550m. Only then would we see her. Mighty Chomolungma. Steadfast

most definitely have you returning at least once in a lifetime. Put quite simply,

and overpowering in her magnificence. On descending the valley I found it

Nepal is unsurpassable.

increasingly difficult with each step to move back towards ‘the real world’. I had a sense that the mountains didn’t want me to leave, and as a magnet draws things

www.unitefornepal.com

closer, they wanted to encompass me with their invisible arms and dance with

www.inspiredescapes.com/fundraising/unite-for-nepal

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FREEDOM

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

What motivated you to move to the other side of the world? I always wanted to travel after finishing Uni but got pregnant and settled into raising a family. In my early 30s. I got bored with monotony of how I could see my life playing out and decided I wanted something different for myself and my kids. So sold everything, packed up everything we could into one suitcase each and left. London is a great place to base yourself to travel the world from. Accessibility and cheap airfares made it a no-brainer... plus a good visa. Mountain climbing sounds extreme — is it? What headspace do you need to “knock the bastard off”, so to speak? By Himalayan standards I'm definitely not a mountaineer so I don't really feel qualified to answer that one! Fear and extreme adventure are relative to the individual. People forget how dangerous it is to drive a car at speed or ride a bike because it's been normalised into everyday life. Trekking or climbing at altitude has risks, but when they're managed well and Mother Nature plays her part accordingly t'is actually pretty safe. Unforeseeable disasters happen in all areas of life whether you're an adventurer or not. The analogies with succeeding in anything in life are the same. You get experience and qualifications, you create a path for yourself, you remain disciplined and focused and you take the first step and never give up. How much did good ol’ Sir Ed Hil influence you to climb Everest? I haven't climbed Everest! I've done a lot of high altitude stuff (up to 6000m) BUT he has always been a hero. More so for his achievements after climbing Everest. The work he has done in communities in Nepal and his commitment and love for the country are far more admirable achievements to me. Has the concept of freedom impacted on your life? If so, how? Growing up in a small town, the fourth of five kids with protective parents all contributed to my desire to 'escape' to something/somewhere else. My Grandad was a real traveller and we were often taken out on random Sunday drives. I loved it. To me as a kid that was the ultimate in adventure. I've also never really managed to fit into a 'normal' life of work and family. I also love being on my own and crave my own space, so Nepal offers me that in bucket loads. How do you define Freedom? Freedom is being in control of your own destiny and living a life you're passionate about. It's also about taking responsibility for those choices — being self aware and accepting are big parts of being free. Any advice for aspiring travelers, explorers and adventurers? Don't listen to people telling you it's not possible or unsafe or not sensible. Even jumping off a cliff? Totally. The risk assessment those guys do is crazy tight.... remember, they don't want to die. If anything the want to live more to jump more.

UNCLE YAM CAREER COUNSELLOR

START HERE

Coming to the end of the year it’s time to make enrolment decisions. What’s your destiny? A sack of cash? A life of close reading archaic texts? Poor hygiene as a result of your gap year? A financially secure future? Definitely not a career in education — that shit doesn’t even rate according to our resident career counsellor, Uncle Yam. Regardless, if you’re a real student, he’s here to offer his sage advice and guide your decision making process. After all, who wouldn’t trust a writer whose pseudonym is also an edible tuber?

Do you unironically use words such as 'lit' and 'fam'?

Have they become a weekly occurrence?

Have you had a quarter-life crisis yet?

Holla. The endless psychological torture your naive teenage self has left you with is well deserved.

Are you studying within the Faculty of Science and Engineering?

Godspeed, my sweet prince

Are you still in possession of any social skills?

Do you have a plan for after you graduate?

Are you a Business or Management student?

Are you an arts student? N

Righteo then. Dr Mature with your big plans and achievable life goals. Why are you wasting your time reading Nexus? Shouldn't you be watching the Stock Exchange or something?

You're realistic. I appreciate that. Once you finish repeating accounting for the third time I'm sure you'll end up with a great job and a sexy fiance.

I'm calling bullshit. Retake this quiz when you feel like not being a filthy liar.

You poor soul. Maybe you should change to Sports Science, your parents won't completely disown you. I promise.

YES NO

Shouldn't you be living the dream? Are you not attending enough poetry slams? Maybe you need to express your feelings in a more abstract manner? If you're still unhappy with your life choices it could be time to take a gap year and taste the genitals of the globe.

Did you pick your degree straight out of High-School?

Did you take a gap year to 'find yourself'?

Did you actually find yourself or do you have a sense of guilt for wasting a year of your life?

Wow, I’m impressed. With that kind of maturity and dedication you should be studying Business/ Management. You’ll find that everyone in this field of studies has their life on track and are just truly exemplary humans.

Did you take a gap year to work hard and lessen the burden of your student loan?

Were you just hoping this quiz would help you figure out your life purpose? That we could lead you to the degree which would unlock your full potential?

Are you a hard working member of society who accidentally mistook this glorious magazine for a hardware catalog?

Sorry to disappoint. We’re not actually a hardware catalog. I know this can seem misleading at times — I apologise. Please put the magazine down and run along, your proper life skills are scaring the students.

We’re here to help. Email lyam@nexusmag.co.nz, as an expert in this field he’s guaranteed to leave you satisfied and ready to tackle any problem life throws in your direction.

Are you still finding Mediterranean pubes stuck between your teeth?

Really? are you sure? Haven't you changed your degree every semester, but still feel unsure about your life decisions?

Fair Enough. You’re obviously a well cultured, down to earth individual. I’d definitely consider a double major in political sciences and philosophy. FUK U NEXUS

Really Bud? So you're saying you spent a year travelling and 'experiencing life' but you didn't even taste the exotic wonders of the world? Looks like you're going to have to disappoint your parents some more and study tourism. Maybe next time you travel you'll actually enjoy yourself. N

You’re adopted. I’m sorry you had to find out like this. We knew you’d decide to be ‘edgy’ and answer no to every question, this is the only way we could tell you.

Woah calm down. We're all friends here. By the sounds of it you've got enough self hatred to study Law. Take out your years of neglect on regular citizens who've made bad mistakes, it'll help with your healing process.

THE GREAT ESCAPE BRONWYN LAUNDRY

Summer is coming, as every single ad campaign is reminding us every chance they can fucking get. For some, that means heading back to the comfort of their mum’s cooking and the classic banter and alcohol abuse of their hometown friends. For others, that means finding a summer job in Hamilton and trying to navigate a non-shit uni holiday in the Waikato. Bronwyn attempts to convince you it is definitely possible. Here are her top five escapes, great for day trips, all within an hour (ish) of Hamilton.

MI NS VE IL FA LL S 50 dal Veil RAGL AN /B RIDAL If you stop at Bri s no denying it. re’ the c, ssi cla ute se but sol en ab int an an is d n an ws Ragla to some choice vie d ate tre be u’ll Bridal in yo Falls on the way mmitment phobes. the Haks for the co of n sio ver by the ba all a to short walk — like out where you live you can brag ab so -op s. oto pit ph a arm own Veil is great for their various smallt o have never left wh l or oo n, sch gla h Ra hig people from ato plebs) lies for you non-Waik ellent at’s the deviation s two fucking exc Over the divvy (th ha d an , ise serial chiller’s parad a is re at n Sto gla Ra mp it. Ca l a pu no one likes to cal s Takeaways/Te Ko Raggaz as literally a standard, and Jo’ ach is be arf f wh sur the the on to hill ps — Raglan Fish the walk down the fish and chip sho ves. be bothered with wa t can u cen yo de If . n rite tha e more is a local favou ge it) it’s got som na ma the campground s fer sur oo aftern n. e how the township to fill an — I’m not quite sur do and see in the to gh (and then back up ou en d an food. swim at ations all involve d other beaches to main recommend Otherwise you’ll fin ice cream. Yes, my for Up ll Ro n gla nd Ra I highly recomme

MA NG APO HU E NATUR AL BRI DG E 1 HR 30 MIN A short drive from Waitomo Village (an other great escape if you’re feeling rich as fuuuck), is Man gapohue Natural Bridge. Mangap ohue is a ridiculously beautiful walk through a limeston e gorge that leads out into a, you guessed it, natural brid ge. The walk only take s about half an hour so you’re not roped into some hardco when all you really wan re hiking t to do is take photos and pretend you’re a mature human who does mature human thin gs. A little known gem that would be worthy of featuring in a Peter Jackson film and I probably shouldn’t be telling you about becaus e now when I got there I’ll probably run into gaggles of 18 yea r olds becoming one with *nature*.

AS 30 MI NS are a social TH E HA KA RIM AT awahia, the Haks Hamilton in Ngaru of e tsid ou t jus the summit Located gal to make it to pretty sure it’s ille I’m . rite ou fav o #ded. media akunamatata #fitsp and hashtag it #h oto ph a e tak t fit no and ultra- people aren’t one of those will not lie. If you I er, kill a are ey Th experience the u will most likely secretly resent, yo ere have been I definitely don’t r breakdown). Th (as well as a mino my flatmate Six Stages of Grief ve ha n had to a puddle and the nch, melted into be u’re at the ay yo lfw en ha Wh . the to ry on times I’ve made it k up” in order to car rds, “Hurry the fuc if you’re wo up y ing wa pir ins the r on he es resurrect me with onal quote plaqu ati tiv mo le litt ve ikato and good, and they ha of the Mighty Wa top, it feels damn nning 360° views stu ast bo ks Ha e e topless, I’ve (read: basic). Th nds up for a (mayb that way inclined So throw your ha le. ab ark rem tty he. set, it’s pre existence is a clic if you catch the sun able — your entire d accept the inevit an pic it) ne do definitely

T E WA IH O U W A L KWA Chance Y, T H E s are, if B LU E S y ou hav P R IN G you wil e any ty 5 5 M IN l have s pe of s S een en ocial m dless p probab edia pro ictures ly the file of The only ex Blue Sp citing th be tem ring. It’s pted to ing abo say do ut Puta freezin n ruru. A ’t believe g cold nd I’d the hyp and th prove h e — th ere are there a ow #b e wate usually ll trying eautifu r is about on a w l Aotea to get 10,000 arm we the sam roa is. people B u t cy ekday e p h oto for nicism you are water a their In aside, nd bea in for a if you sta to utiful s mighty manag ights. D It is de tr e a e to go teriorati t. It tru espite a ly ng bec there ll the m is s tu banned ause o nning. edia att f rude . Not th Crystal ention, human clear at p e o photos s knee-d p th le do m do not ough, s eep. Pro do justi uch sw o swim tip: kee imming ce. ming h be a laz p drivin as rece anyway y and a g ntly be a little , it see void th fu en ms to rther th e long-a judge y b e more an the ou, alth ss scen initial e posing ough th ic walk ntrance and jus e long-a if you w t get str ss scen ant to aight to ic walk is wort the Spri h it. ng, I wo n’t

TAUTARI/ SANC TUARY MOU NTAI N MAU NGA LAKE KARA PIRO 50 MINS to be perfectly Lake Karapiro is a wee bit scungy some manus and swim a honest, but it’s good for ing fresh want e you’r if ially off the jetty, espec if you’re all e abov and sea the of d water instea a boat/ with one some nd befrie to gh lucky enou ularly if you’re partic ly, world other is , hand jetski. Maungatautari on the other that tain with a 47km pest-proof fence into that ecological shit. It’s a moun n malia mam from is completely protected means all the native flora and fauna upon Park sic Juras in ct feeling you’re predators, and you get the distin can There are several different walks you . gates le doub the gh entering throu be do but out, it check Go rest. s/inte do, depending on your level of fitnes es. bush the in ats Waik lling funne e. No respectful of all dat beautiful natur

YOUR SPACE THE NIXON CHICKS This cosy villa is the home to several of the terrifying nocturnal breed known as Hospo Workers. They are known to live off of pizza and Vodka Redbull, and are not often seen Thursday through to Monday, until they resurface again on a Tuesday to get obliterated. We were able to catch a rare, ginger Hospo Girl in her natural habitat wearing an ironic denim hat. Perhaps the most interesting flatmate, however, was Franklin the Cat who emerged from his palace to say hello and command the attention of his four loyal girlfriends who dote on and fawn over his adorable snuggly face. Â&#x2014;

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

“Figuring things out for yourself is pretty much the only freedom anyone really has these days” Jean Rasczak, Starship Troopers

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

THAT TIME I… LEARNT TO DRIVE STICK

HEIL HOGAN FESTIVITIES

MISS DAISY

LYAM BUCHANAN

WOMAN, 21, STRAIGHT

It’s genuinely surprising that you still remember to breathe, you’ve definitely

A few years ago I finally became embarrassed that I couldn’t drive manual cars

worked bloody hard to bullshit your way through another year of life. From

without stalling, grinding the gears, crying, and stalling again. While playing

here there’s only a couple of months till your overdraft is completely maxed

the helpless female card is cute sometimes, it had become just downright

out and your diet consists of nothing but eccys and your own vomit. In

inconvenient and I was missing out on the chance to use some golden “yeah I

classic Heil Hogan fashion, here’s a guide to help you become completely

drive stick ;)” innuendoes that I’d seen work so well on TV.

disassociated with reality.

Hassling everyone I knew to give me driving lessons, I finally convinced a friend’s hot flatmate to risk life and sanity teaching me. He said he’d give me a lesson as long as I provided the car. Fortuitously, my bestie flew out to Aussie the next week and needed to park her lovely (manual!) VW Golf at my house for the weekend.

CAPS ON CAPS The general rule is you throw back at least one cap for each time you masturbated as a 14 year old, for the majority of us this may seem like an impossible task but I can assure you it’s not. Consumption is simple but acquiring funds isn’t, lucky for us we’re packed full of useless organs and

I didn’t waste any time and took the car around to my friend’s house later

organ related goodies ripe for the auction. Are you a male with nipples? These

that evening (only stalled three times at two roundabouts!), and picked my

commodities fetch anywhere from $50-$700 depending on size, quantity

instructor up. He was impressed by the car, and I was impressed by his facial

of hair, quality of hair and colour. Lactation will find you upwards of $5K

hair, so things got off to a good start quickly.

easily. Got teeth? Grab some pliers, pop ‘em out and cash these in for $200

I’ll give him credit, he did actually teach me to drive, and I eventually got the hang of it all. Clearly, he felt safe enough in my steady, driving hands because you can basically picture a cliche teen movie from here on. I (finally) made a few “driving stick” jokes, he put his hand on mine as I changed gear, then on my knee, then onto my thigh, and then I had to pull over because I was getting too distracted.

a pop. Do you still use your left lung? Not anymore you don’t. With the aid of a kitchen knife and a mirror you’ll be able to crack this floppy sack out without even shedding a tear, make sure to grab a lighter and weld up your now pointless bronchial tube. This meaty sack will trade for upwards of $10K, every millimeter of tar coating the inside adds $100 as well. If you find it hard to breathe don’t fret, you’ll be so munted you’ll completely forget. Give it a few months you’ll grow a new one anyways.

Things progressed quickly, so he said, I kid you not, “I know a great place we can go: it’s called Shag Point”. And I can 100% confirm it’s not called that

HUFFIN PUFFIN GOOD VIBES

because it’s a great spot for birdwatching. Anyone who’s driven a Golf knows

Looking for a cheap alternative where your heart will still stop at least six

there’s not a lot of room in there. Rest assured, we made it work and, despite

times? Shoot down to your local supermarket grab some lemon scented

some leg cramp, had sex in the passenger seat. And then, because I didn’t

Mortein, the biggest bottle of Mr Muscle oven cleaner available and the

quite get off the first time, did it again bent over the bonnet of the car.

cheapest loaf of bread. This concoction of chemical goodness brings back

Spurred on by what had probably been the most risque, exciting sex at this stage of my life, I used my newfound driving skills to take this evening one notch higher and drove us through Maccas drive through, still stark naked. Which is how I learned that McDonald’s in East Auckland will not only still serve you with your tits out, but will give you frozen cokes for free.

all kinds of memories, I can vividly picture setting up a chair outside in the summer breeze of my childhood home, using Mum's Vogels as a filter while I huffed the fuck outta some upper class oven cleaner. Unless you’re scared of long term brain and nerve damage, tremors, comas, seizures and dependence you’re perfectly fine to ingest Mortein without any form of filter. It’s not as if security would turn you away for showing up to a festival with fly spray and

To this day, still the best car sex I’ve ever had, and hands down the best driving

oven cleaner, you’re simply being a productive member of society who likes to

lesson too.

keep on top of the cleanliness of food associated appliances.

N.24 / V.48

FREEDOM

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

THAT TIME I… GOT A HAND JOB IN CLASS

NERD YORK TIMES YEAR OF THE NERD

PAPA SMURF

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

MAN, 20, STRAIGHT

Recently I went back and looked over my first column of the year (a lie, I

You’ve really got to appreciate arts students. The sheer bravery it takes to

remember it perfectly, but it sounds better this way). The Year of the Nerd,

complete an arts degree knowing full well that you are more likely to end

I proclaimed 2016, and while the year isn’t over yet, with Fantastic Beasts

up homeless than employed. While arts students may exist to reassure

and Rogue One still to look forward to, for many it’s already been quite a let-

other people that their lives could be worse (you’re welcome) we are also

down. Hell, it seems like audiences themselves have had enough of reboots,

arguably some of the more adventurous students. So settle down kids and

superheroes and explosions. Is it all over for blockbusters? Is the cinema

strap yourselves in, here’s a cracker of a story of how a seemingly innocent

dead? Has the box-office dried up?

virgin (though not any more, thank God) got a hand job whilst doing a group assignment.

No, don’t be stupid. Don’t get me wrong, there is some level of fatigue starting to set in, but it’s the same sort of fatigue that one might get after drinking and

As a first year one of the things that I was looking forward to the most about

partying for an entire week. “Never again,” you might say, “I just can’t keep this

university was losing my annoyingly stubborn virginity. BOCS party had just

up, it’s lost all its allure for me,” But you still go out at the weekend and do it

been and a particular lady friend of mine seemed to be interested in the

all over again. Blockbusters have been a mainstay in the cinematic landscape

goods, so naturally I was optimistic that this could be it. Fast forward a week

for decades now, even before Jaws and Star Wars. They’re not going away

later and to my surprise the two of us are put into the same group for an

anytime soon, and we’re not going to stop going to see them/pirating them

assignment. At this point I had already managed to spend a night with her

anytime soon. Although none of us pirate.

but as a result of what I can only describe as ‘involuntary stage fright’ my stubborn virginity was still alive and strong. Fortunately by some miracle she was still keen to see what this veteran ‘chicken choker’ had to offer. Thank you.

The box office though, look at the box office! Okay, I’m looking. So only two movies released this year have gone over a billion so far, and the top eight have gone over 700 million. Those poor, poor studio executives. So some

There were five of us in the group and a few days later we were all in my

movies which were expected to go over a billion didn’t, their performance was

bedroom planning the assignment, not sure why we chose my room to meet

still more than adequate, and records were still broken across the board. Hell,

but, hey, it worked out, sort of. So there I was sitting on my bed, two of my

look at the New Zealand box office for 2016, the top 10 for 2016 is dominated

group members were sitting at my desk, one was sitting on the end of my

by sequels, superheroes and remakes. Except for Hunt for the Wilderpeople of

bed and my female friend was sitting next to me. We were all chatting about

course. Take that Hollywood!

various ideas we had for the upcoming assignment when suddenly a lost hand started creeping down my pants (I should point out that there was a blanket on top of us). To say that virgin me was surprised would be an understatement and unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) there was no case of stage fright this time round. So there I was, discussing the work of Aristotle whilst getting wanked off in front of three people I hardly knew. The fact that I got a hand job with an impressively neutral face whilst maintaining a conversation with the rest of my group continues to amaze me. Yet despite the awkwardness I can honestly say that I have never had more fun whilst doing a group assignment.

Fatigue is still setting in though, evident from the sheer fact that we keep talking about how these films are failing. And while many have succeeded at the box office, a lot of others (Ninja Turtles, Star Trek) have tanked and underperformed, whilst many others were eviscerated by critics. So while our expectations were ungainly high with films this year, nerds have won elsewhere. Video games, comics, TV, anime (I assume, still not a fan) have had stellar years. Just look at all those trainers wandering the outdoors collecting Pokemon. I might have been hasty and overzealous, but the industry is not imploding; cinema may be down a bit, but the gap was more than filled by other mediums and crazes. Still, I’m cautiously looking forward to 2017: the Year Which May Be Even Better Than 2016 Maybe.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

THE I.T. GUY WHO’S SLIM SHADY?

TRAVELLING: JUST THE TIP THE FINAL GUIDE

MATTHEW RAE

NINA FOX

What is clockwise, why do we hang up a phone and why is it called a film? My

Travelling is literally everything you make of it. If you take it on with an open

niece recently turned 14 and asked my sister why we hang up our cell phones

and positive attitude, and are willing to meet new people and try new things,

when we end a call. To her astonishment and my own we had never given it

you are almost guaranteed to have a life changing experience. You are young

a single thought, my niece has never seen a wall phone. Similarly my brother

and let’s face it, don’t really have any limitations (except for maybe that

turned 20 last month and to celebrate the milestone I gave him the watch I

student loan), so why the fuck would you not give everything a go? So don’t

received for my 20th. He admitted that he never learned to read time. I took

be that weirdo in the hostel that is in bed by 7pm and moisturising the soles

them both to the movies to see Kubo and the Two Strings. I said it was a great

of your feet (people do this) — go out to the bar and strike up a conversation

film only to be asked what I meant by that.

with someone.

My niece has grown up in a world where Harry Potter has always been a thing,

Of course you’re gonna need to save in order to travel while you’re not

everyone already had Facebook and Wi-fi was a household item. We lived in

working, but I don’t think it’s necessary to have a huge amount of money to

the country without these so I wonder what kind of backwards savages she

have a good time. I, for one, used A LOT of my overdraft to fund my travelling,

thought we were. There are only seven years difference between us and there

and was un-phased by the less than glamorous backpackers I would find

is already such a huge difference in our histories. She will never experience

myself at. My motto was along the lines of: never settle when it comes to

what it's like to do homework without googling the answer, she'll never know

activities or nights out, but make sacrifices when it comes to sleeping. So

what a world without Google is like. She’s as old as 8 Mile and has no idea

much of the young travelling experience comes from really roughing it and in

who Slim Shady is.

the process learning a lot about yourself.

My brother never learnt how to read time because he never needed to. He

Tourist sites and attractions can be amazing, I mean that’s how they’ve drawn

had a digital alarm clock, and now he has his phone to tell him the time. Even

in tourists to begin with, but try to remember that they aren’t everything.

though the thought behind the gift was nice, it has become an artifact that

Sometimes just walking around the streets of a city or having an authentic

sits on his shelf next to his high school trophies. What a difference two years

meal can be more poignant than a selfie with the Eiffel tower. Tourist

makes. His first cellphone was a Motorola flip phone unlike my Nokia Brick (I

attractions do indeed come with a side of tourists, and beware, they are often

still have it). His first computer ran Windows XP, mine had Windows 3.1. That's

slow and pushy so try not to lose your patience.

not as comparable though.

Some of you may already have the bug, and some of you are yet to be infected,

I guess film is an odd one. I remember taking photos on a disposable camera

but once you get the travel bug there is no going back to a life lived solely in

and then taking the film to get developed so it was a little puzzling to explain.

Hamilton East. Good luck out there, kids.

For them, a photo is taken and then displayed moments later. If one is blurry then they can always delete it and take another. Technology is advancing at an unmatched speed. It’s nearing the end of 2016 and I can't even imagine what the future has in store. When it comes to technology only time can tell.

N.24 / V.48

FREEDOM

Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

COOKING WITH UNCLE YAM BREAKFAST BLUES Editor’s Note: Smoking is bad for you. The old adage, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” isn’t relevant here. What doesn’t kill you gives you foul breath and a manky cough. Call Quitline, if ya want — 0800 778 778. INGREDIENTS Good ol’ Marlboro Reds Fond memories of a lost love Classic edgy white lighter A crippling addiction you refuse to accept Personal automobile ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’– John Denver DIRECTIONS 1. Experience something mildly unpleasant 2. Have no real coping mechanism other than selfdepreciative humour and the sweet embrace of nicotine 3. Enter your vehicle 4. Watch civilians walk past and wonder if they feel the same pain as you 5. Chuck your seatbelt on 6. Make sure you heard that ‘click’ 7. Light up a dart as you roll down the driver seat window 8. Allow that first puff to cloud the thought of her 9. Pump the cult classic ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’ on repeat and allow the emotions to flow free 10. Drive down Wairere drive 11. Wipe away your tears just before being stopped at traffic lights so you continue to portray the image of a strong, dependable and exemplary member of society 12. Continue puffing 13. Stare into the countryside as you reminisce about the summer nights you spent in each other’s arms 14. Realise life is meaningless and the only reason you haven’t slammed your car with speed into a power pole is the fear of entering a vegetative state in which your family would be more disappointed in you than they already are 15. Light up another dart because your tolerance has surpassed the point where one is enough to repress the memory of your lost love 16. Continue to let John Denver wash away your problems and fill you with a reason to carry on 17. Notice the girl across the road by the kebab store 18. Smile at her as you realise you don’t hate your life. 19. Wonder if even for a moment she will be the one to heal the shattered void where your heart used to be… 20. Arrive back at your flat feeling ready to be productive and proactive 21. Go grocery shopping.

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

THE BEST OF SNAPPED 2016

JASE & PJ

WEEKDAYS 3 -7PM ZMONLINE.COM

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

She is a 21 year old baking and pun fiend finishing her bachelor’s in teaching, who is “planning on travelling next year”. How original. She probably has several cats too. He’s never been on a date and spent most of 2014 sulking in his room smoking weed and playing video games. Will it be love at first sight? Will they venture off into the sunset and travel the globe? Probably not, but you’d at least hope the final Blind Date of the year came to a happy ending...

HE SAID

SHE SAID

The night started with my extreme nervousness at meeting new

Not knowing what to expect all day, I must admit I got fairly wound

people and my friend refusing to drive me back home as he dropped

up and freaked out at the same time. I got my crew of flatmates

me off to the restaurant, getting there a little early I get taken to the

to drop me in town and be there as a backup just in case all hit

bar and find an old mate whom I hadn’t seen in five years or so and

the fan. All I worried was whether I would meet someone I would

proceeded to have some shots and beer while chatting my anxiety

completely clash with, or get along like a house on fire? Well neither,

away. By the time the blind date arrived I was relatively tipsy and

he was a lovely guy and with time and a few drinks the conversation

ready to drink more, before I had even got the chance to sit down

definitely flowed, but I wouldn't say a match made in heaven.

the interrogation begun. We both started out relatively slow with our drinks ordering beers and strong gin and tonics and managed to spend $10 on pizza between the two of us and continued on drinking, the pizza was half eaten and forgettable but the drinks got stronger as the night went on. She had a great sense of humor and was very pretty and I mistakenly somehow got into a cake off with her via phone pictures, unfortunately most of the night is lost

He'd arrived early so by the time I arrived he was already a drink or two in so more relaxed than I was. Conversations ranged from our pasts to our futures with the sharing of some shocking puns and jokes. They definitely flowed quite well with the odd disagreement especially around whether pineapple has a place on pizza or not. Plus do we use cutlery to eat pizza when dining out or not? Haha.

on me and all I can really remember is my beyond movielike urinal

All in all it was a really nice outing and cool to meet someone new

conversation with my staff member friend where we caught up and

who is quite different to the other guys I have talked to in the past.

reminisced while pretending we weren’t attempting to look at each other’s Johnsons in the process. The night ended awkwardly as it seemed like we were both ready to go home for a while with neither of us knowing how to just end the night and leave, much like how I

Sorry to be the one to disappoint, but long story short, the night wasn't long and it was over once the tab was gone. Such a nice guy but in all honesty, not the guy for me.

don’t know how to end this. 10/10 night would share a urinal again.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

HOROSCOPES

WORDFIND S

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)

W N

The end of the semester is close enough to taste, so

Feeling stressed about the looming exams? Take a day off

from study, and cry yourself to sleep watching The Lion

G W

issue of Nexus for 2016. With no puzzle page to entertain you

throughout summer school, you might even start to miss us.

N W

W A

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)

Mercury is hard to see this week, and so is your horoscope.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19) You’ll likely find yourself feeling creative this week. How do you act upon this? Do something colourful, or pretty, or weird. Just remember that green is not a creative colour.

consider yourself lucky, tasting something so abstract usually requires lots of drugs, which are expensive. PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)

King, you’ve earned it! ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) Neptune is in the sky, which means that you shouldn’t be wrong about anything this week. We know that sometimes it’s unavoidable, but please try your best. Don’t be a loser. TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) The stars have aligned this week, to tell you that this is the last

We’ve hidden it inside Pisces: rearrange the letters of every second word, and see what your future holds. CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) Take heed of Wu-Tang Clan’s advice this week and bring the mother fucking ruckus, just make sure you maintain said ruckus at appropriate levels around pregnant or lactating women.

Free

Bach

DayDrinking

Emancipation

TSemester

NewYears

Bonfires

Liberation

Celebrations

Summer

Cliches

Empowerment

Graduation

Wildcats

SkinnyDipping

Autonomy

ExamFree

Swimming

Adventure

Exploring

Party

Sun

Camping

Travel

LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22)

Beach

Sand

Hiking

Escape

So a handsome stranger liked your Instagram? Take it easy,

Holidays

Roadtrips

Waterfalls

Tits

this doesn’t mean they want to date you. Unless that picture was from 2012, in which case they totally want to date you. VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22) You may feel like the grass is greener on the other side this week, but always remember that the key to true happiness is smoking it either way. Good shit is good shit. LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22) It’s crunch time for big group assignments. If you’re struggling to get the work done, remember that there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’, but there is an ‘I’ in ‘meat pie’ and ‘meat’ is an anagram for ‘team’. SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21) Pluto is still in retrograde, which means a romantic evening with your special person is likely. Key word being romantic. And no, a turkey slap is not romantic. SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21) Work hard, believe in yourself and try not to have sex with other people’s wives. Also don’t eat cheese before bed. And learn to sew. It doesn’t hurt to own three suits per season either. 32

N.24 / V.48

FREEDOM

SIMPLE PUZZLES 4 SIMPLE PEOPLE

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUDOKU 5 4

4 4 8

7 2

6 8 3

2 7

3 8

1 6

c) What is a Muller Thurgau?

e) Who invented the programming language C++?

WORD TWIST

16 3

20 20

8 21

horizontally, vertically or 20

6 16

20 19

20 4

9 4

4 16

16 16

5 6

3 20

1. J

Code Cracker

Trivial

10. S

4. A 5. F

ANSWERS

9. L

3. R

8. E

2. B

a) Dutch

a word.

13. D 14. H 15. T

used more than once in

12. X

diagonally and cannot be

6. M 7. Y

11. C

b) 1970

c) A Grape

The letters must touch

make from these letters?

26.Z

T W Y

23.G 24.W 25.P

How many words can you

22.K

16. O 17. Q 18. U 19. V 20.N

21. I

d) What is at the centre of the flag of Swaziland?

CODE CRACKER

b) What year did the boeing 747 first enter commerical service?

HARD

a) What nationality was Abel Tasman ?

MEDIUM

TRIVIAL

6 5

EASY

2 8

d) Black and white shield

e) Bjarne Stroustrup

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