N.02 / V.48
CONTENTS
CONTRIBUTORS
01.
EDITOR
EDITORIAL
Brittany Rose 02. LETTUCE
editor@nexusmag.co.nz
03.
UNI NEWS
DESIGN
04.
NEXUS NEWS
Olivia Paris
07. SPORTS
design@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITOR Lyam Buchanan
08. CARE
lyam@nexusmag.co.nz
09. ENTERTAINMENT
MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan
10. REVIEWS
james@wsu.co.nz
12. ARTS
CONTRIBUTORS Hana Te Kowhai Ohia
12. AUTEUR
Sean Hurley Dr. Richard Swainson
13. COVERED
Jared Wooldridge Georgia Pullock
16.
FRINGE FESTIVAL
18.
PAIN IN THE ARTS
20.
WIZZ KIDS
22.
YOUR SPACE
Peter Dornauf Emma Nygard Megan Cullen Onyx Lily Indula Jayasundara Ingoamuna Bronwyn Laundry Vitamin D
24. COLUMNS COVER 30. SNAPPED
Tim Inlge
31.
PHOTOGRAPHY
BLIND DATE
Dallas Houghton 32. PUZZLES ADVERTISING advertising@nexusmag.co.nz OFFICES Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine
ISSUE 02 07 MARCH 2016 CREATIVITY
Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE
EDITORIAL INSERT CREATIVE TITLE HERE BRITTANY ROSE
I have a confession. I am a failed Fashion Design student. Well. I didn’t actually fail... aside from the practical assessment on tailored garment construction which I had to re-sit, but that doesn’t count. I did complete my Diploma in Design, however, given that I am now a student at Waikato, it should be obvious that I’m not the next Kate Sylvester. The reason I wanted to study fashion is two fold and only one of these reasons has to do with the theme of this issue. Firstly, I had internalised the rags-toriches narratives that populated designer autobiographies; secondly (and more relevantly), I really enjoyed creativity and expression. Now I realise the fashion industry is overly superficial and built on capitalist ideals of trend-driven conspicuous consumption and the exploitation of third world factory workers (generally women). But I digress. Creativity is this week’s theme, but what is creativity anyway? Is it the kinaesthetic experience of creating something with your hands? Is it the lightbulb moment when a flash of colour and an interesting word merge into an idea? Is it the act of expressing beauty to a viewer/reader/audience? In my mind creativity is all of the above, it’s about divergent thinking and innovation; it’s a process of creating (in the most literal sense of the word); it’s all of the steps leading up to the moment an audience takes in a creative expression, and it’s the following interpretive meaning making that happens in the mind of the viewer. Creativity can be a positive, uplifting experience, it can be a cathartic release, and it can by the by-product of boredom or the result of endless scribbling before actually fucking starting an assignment. Creativity, it’s the perfect justification for the brightly coloured doodles in the place of lecture notes and essay plans. This week’s Nexus is one of the issues that I am most excited about. I got to speak to the dedicated and interesting people behind the Fringe Festival, while Sean Hurley had a chat with Hamtown Smakdown band Wizz Kids. I also got to check out the Fringe show Swimming With Whales in Tonga with our reviewer Joshua Morris, and even posted a review to our Facebook page (Nexus Magazine — like us if you haven’t already). Onyx Lily argues in defence of BAs — which are always bagged on by arrogant law idiots. No, not ALL law idiots are arrogant, and creativity isn’t truly confined to the Faculty of Arts — there are students campuswide brimming with creativity, innovation and brilliance. What does creativity mean to you? Let us know, lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz
Britt
1
NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce
As the old adage goes: “If you have nothing nice to say, send it to Nexus Lettuce.” Sometimes we all just need to have an anonymous rant, and because no one wants to listen to your negativity you should send your
RAPE AND MENTAL ILLNESS ISN’T A STYLE MCNABB'S HATE CLUB
complaint to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz Alternatively you could be nice. Compliment our cover artist on their sick work, compliment our reviewers for a spot-on critique, or compliment our editor because she really is a celestial being sent to Earth to bring peace and joy (and write Lettuce intros).
The dude who did the cover art for the first issue needs a reality check. Using “eye-rape” and “clinically-insane” as words to describe your overdone vector/collage shit (Rookie Mag called btw) is messsseeeedddd up. We have such high sexual assault rates... I mean, rape jokes can be done, sometimes. Okay, maybe never. I’m not sure, I sometimes laugh at them. But to describe your art unironically... Damn. Now, clinically insane? Our suicide rate is at the highest rate since EVER. 569 PEOPLE BOY. You’re not
NEXUS MANIFESTO DANIEL FARRELL
helping!!!!!!!! The cover looked sick though. – Editor
So, apparently Nexus has become the Labour Party’s newest propaganda rag?
PAID PARKING SUCKS
When your “news” is written by a member of the Labour Party and former President
ANON
of Young Labour Waikato, and the entire thing is about how great Labour’s policy on tertiary education is, with the one exception of referring to a Government Minister as “the man from the Waitangi Day dildo escapade”.
Question: Why the fuck aren't the shitty payed parking terminals sheltered? It was such a horrible day on Monday and I was running late. I got to the
And seriously? “Labour’s suggested policy has dominated the news cycle
carpark and had to walk in the rain and then stand in the rain in a huge long
throughout the summer”? Ah, no. I get that Labour propagandists might have only
line waiting for people to pay for parking. I ended up buying a semester
been reading the digital toilet paper written by Bomber Bradbury, but really, it
pass because I don't want to have to stand in the rain waiting for other
barely hit the headlines for more than two or three days.
people to pay every Monday.
I remember when Nexus used to at least pretend to be unbiased. It was Left vs
I was going to start walking to uni this year but I guess I'll just keep driving
Right, not Left and Left Alone.
and killing the environment and become even more unfit because I've sunk
And frankly, Steven Joyce is right. That policy will achieve absolutely nothing. But hey, Andrew Little doesn’t care about logic.
SIXTY DOLLARS into a parking pass purely so I don't get rained on erry week. Great question. – Editor
You're right, it's absurd for a student magazine to run a story on a student education! – Editor
I <3 SANDWHICHES
MORE KEY HATE
To those WSU master chefs,
STOP TALKING ABOUT MAX KEY
I’m not even kidding, the food you guys have given us this week for free is the
focused policy. Also turn the page...*Spoilers* We keep talking about free
NO LONGER HANGRY
absolute tits. On Tuesday there you were with cocoa puffs (budget brand, How to beat Max Key (metaphorically not physically).
but I shouldn’t complain because free). I ate like 5 of your free pancakes, because they were mean as, even had chocolate chips, and because they
If you're not a first year, you probably hate Max Key. I definitely hate him. His music
were free. The real mvp though, is the yellow-shirted wizard who made
is pretty rubbish, he failed at his law degree, and a friend said he's rubbish in bed.
those ham and cheese buns, basically the only reason I keep going to town.
Despite The Herald's constant effort to make Max cool and relevant, I still can't
Thanks for making them, and for making them free.
get on his buzz.
Your compliments are the absolute tits. – Editor
And I'm sick of all of the bullshit articles about his latest instagram post or latest love interest. I'm his age and I honestly don't find him interesting or accomplished at all. He's pretty shit compared to other twenty year olds I know. There's only one way to get Max Key off our radar. We legitimately need t o stop caring about him. We need to stop reading the articles, following him on Facebook (even ironically to laugh at him) and we need to stop streaming his music on spotify.
Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public
We need to stop commenting on The Herald's Facebook posts, telling them that
scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit
this isn't news and that the quality of journalism in this country is terrible etc. You're
to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves
making them money, they'll keep publishing the bullshit. Universities will keep
the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any
inviting Max Key to play during O-Week! ust stop now. Stop Talking About Max Key.
law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or
You stop talking about Max Key. – Editor
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N.02 / V.48
CREATIVITY
hate speech. Email your lettuce to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz
News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE
Seasoned rugby player Adam Burn and soprano Blaire White (left) have been
ONYA
HILLARY MEDALISTS
awarded one of Waikato University’s most prestigious awards — the Sir Edmund Hillary Medal.
ROWING FOR GOLD Hillary scholars Shaun Kirkham (front left) and Caleb Shepherd (front right) won gold in the premier men’s eight at the national
MASSIVE RESEARCH SCHOLARSHIP
rowing championships last month.
PhD student Ngahuia Murphy has been awarded a $109,700 PhD scholarship from the Health Research Council of New Zealand, to fund her Māori health research.
ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET A short film created by screen and media student and Hillary scholar SCHOLARSHIPS FOR NEW AGRI STUDENTS
Ashton Ledger was chosen for
First year agribusiness students Steven Upton and Beth Hampton
showcasing at this year’s Tropfest New
were two of 55 students from around New Zealand awarded
Zealand — the world’s largest short-film
DairyNZ scholarships, worth up to $6,325 per year of study.
festival.
Full stories available on the University website. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.
PARKING ON CAMPUS
STUDENT INFORMATION CENTRE
The deadline to submit a Semester A
Friendly reminder that parking on campus
If you have any questions or need help,
Change of Enrolment and get a refund
Monday-Friday, 8.30am-4.30pm, costs $2
visit the Student Admin team on Level 2
of fees, is 5pm Friday 11 March 2016. You
a day, $6 a week or $60 a semester. The
of the Student Centre. They can help you
can do this on iWaikato. If you need help
rest of the time it’s free, just be sure not
with enrolment, Student IDs, fee enquiries
or advice call 0800 WAIKATO or drop in
to park in a reserved/numbered spot —
and parking. Call 0800 WAIKATO for
to the information desk on level 2 of the
these are reserved for paid permits. Visit
more info.
Student Centre.
waikato.ac.nz/go/parking for more info.
NEED A DOCTOR?
SORT YOUR GYM MEMBERSHIP
SMOKE-FREE CAMPUS
Student Health offers all enrolled students
UniRec is offering a range of great value
Our Hamilton and Tauranga campuses are
confidential and professional medical
student memberships, including the brand
totally Smoke-free. If you do smoke and
services on campus. Most services are free
new A+B Semester membership, available
are thinking about quitting, call Quitline on
once you register. Find out more at the
to purchase until 31 March. Visit them on
0800 778 778 or visit quit.org.nz for free
Student Health building next to the Gate
campus or go to unirec.co.nz
advice and support or call into Student
1 carpark.
Health on campus, next to the Gate 1 carpark.
Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.
NEED TO KNOW
CHANGING PAPERS?
NEXUS MAGAZINE News
Did your experiences as a student inform your interest in Tertiary Education? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I came out of university with $30,000 worth of student debt. My parents didn’t earn a great deal so I got accommodation supplement but that didn’t even cover the cost of my hostel in first year, so I was constantly in negative. Course related costs always went on just tryna pay down the overdraft, so yeah I really feel for students because I’ve been in that situation, it’s hard. At one point in your February 11th speech you referred to “crippling student loans and a generation locked out of home ownership” as “intergenerational theft” — could you elaborate on what you meant by intergenerational theft? There is a huge intergenerational gap in New Zealand — the Prime Minister’s generation, they benefitted from free tertiary education, yet we’ve got a generation saddled with $15 billion of debt. They were a generation that were given considerable support to get into their first home, yet for many of the current young generation it simply is a distant dream. What we’re seeing is a country facing significant economic problems, we’ve got close to 120 billion dollars national debt. This is debt which is going to have to be repaid by people currently studying at university and their kids. I’m fortunate because of my current job, and that’s the only reason I was able to pay off my debt. My wife currently has 20,000 dollars of student loan, and she’s experiencing what many women do — which is after university and work, they want to start a family but it’s impossible to pay down that loan. For so many of my friends, home ownership is just out of the question and they’re stuck in the rent trap — it’s been called Generation Rent. Do you believe that there is currently enough support for young adults to gain further education in a bid to improve their quality of life? No, and the huge cost of studying is a huge barrier. We absolutely supported
NEWS THE COST OF STUDYING BRITTANY ROSE
the call for direct scholarships for people who are the first in their families to be able to attend university. We have seen a real funding cut to tertiary education in New Zealand over the last 8 years and that burden is being placed on student shoulders instead — the cost of fees have gone up between 20-40% over that time. That burden has well and truly been passed from the Government — where they should be investing in tertiary education because it benefits the entire
Green Party Spokesperson for Tertiary Education Gareth Hughes came to
country — onto students.
campus to talk to Brittany about Tertiary Education and the cost of living life
It’s affecting their families around them and there’s actually a massive gender
as a student. Not only did Brittany resist the opportunity to ask him about how
imbalance. What we’re seeing is females take considerably longer to pay off
he still looks like a 14 year-old boy, she also managed to discuss free education.
their loans, we’re seeing demographic changes that people are putting off
A second week where Nexus is talking about free education. Get out your little
having kids because of the debt burden, it’s having a huge societal wide impact.
red book of Mao and let the socialist propaganda run wild... Why do you believe education is important for an individual? And secondly, why is it important to a society as a whole? For an individual it broadens your horizons and allows you to contribute to society and the economy in richer ways. In terms of the economy, NZ has dropped down the economic rankings over the last few decades. People are doing it hard, we’re more dependant on tourism and dairy than we were ten years ago. If we want to have a higher wage economy we’ve gotta do things smarter, we’ve gotta focus on areas like research in science and innovation, the new economy - which is areas like ICT — and that’s not gonna happen if we’re not having a highly skilled, educated workforce. So, when you look at the post-grad changes it’s incredibly detrimental because, surely in a modern economy we need to be encouraging students to study at more advanced levels, yet the government has sent exactly the opposite message. It’s an incredibly regressive retrograde policy that isn’t in the national interest and what you’re seeing is short-term penny pinching by Steven Joyce that’s costing us in the long term.
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CREATIVITY
We’ve got more than half a million kiwis with student loans, unlike say Australia where the compulsory repayment rates are set at a realistic level, they’re set at $19,000 a year on top of the tax rates, it’s a real struggle to live once you graduate if you’re paying back your student load at 12% of your income in compulsory repayments. Currently, eligibility for a student allowance is means tested — both on your income as a student, and for those under 24, your parents’/parent’s income. Is this a practise that the Green Party is inclined to agree with? Absolutely not, we think it’s incredibly inequitable. What we’ve also seen is those parental income testing levels frozen which means every year fewer and fewer students can access Government support so they have to borrow to live. I think the reality on the ground, and any student will tell you, that parental support when you’re 22, 23, is pretty limited. I think it’s ridiculous. And I think look, if we’re gonna value tertiary education and a more skilled economy we’ve got to address these issues.
News NEXUS MAGAZINE
There’s always a handful of cases where students with wealthier parents invest the
So Labour’s January election promise was that it would offer students 3
money in a bank account or the stock market. That isn’t the reality on the ground
years of free tertiary education, where does the Green Party stand on this?
for the vast majority of students, but sadly that’s been colouring the Government’s
We absolutely welcome it, it’s something we’ve been calling for in parliament,
decisions and much of the public media conversation. I think it’s time we get real,
we think it’s a great first step. We’ll be looking at working with Labour to try and
according to an NZUSA survey half of students are suffering in financial hardship.
improve it. Obviously I think that while you’re addressing the fees you still see a
A previous decision was that accommodation supplement was capped at a
huge chunk of students have to borrow just to live each week, so what we want
maximum of $40 — in Waikato rents have risen 51% in the lowest quartile, even the
to be doing is progressively moving towards a universal student allowance. We
cheapest flats have risen 50% since 2004 when that change was bought in. What
think every student who’s studying should be supported so that they can get the
you see is that support hasn’t kept pace with reality on the ground.
most out of their education.
It’s having a minimal impact because $40 doesn’t really go that far when your rent’s over $100 a week. There’s a real unfairness because a beneficiary in a similar region paying a similar amount of rent gets considerably more than students. So receiving full student allowance of $210.13, and earning the full entitlement — $211.96, it essentially caps you at earning ($422.09) significantly under the equivalent of a full time worker on minimum wage ($590). That’s a really hard amount of money to live on when you’ve got power bills going up, internet costs, books, which are expensive. So no, I don’t think it’s enough we need to find that right balance. We know the minimum wage isn’t what’s considered
So, after all of that, how are Green going to actually get this stuff implemented? How is the Green Party going to get this stuff realised? We’re gonna do it by changing the government next year. We’re the third largest party and we’re at our highest and strongest level ever currently. We’re proud of our achievements in the past, pushing for interest free student loans which happened under the previous government. We’ve constantly championed students and a more affordable accessible and higher quality tertiary education system. And when we’re in government, this is a key part of our priority to building a smarter, richer economy.
a living wage, I don’t think students should be living on packets of noodles.
New Orbiter timetable starts Monday 29 February • • •
Buses will run every 15 minutes in the weekday morning peaks Extra buses have been added to the timetable in the afternoon to increase capacity and improve service reliability Times have changed – visit www.busit.co.nz
Continually improving your bus network Visit www.busit.co.nz or call BUSLINE for more information
– 24 hours
5
NEXUS MAGAZINE News
NEWS WSU FILLS BOARD VACANCIES JAMES RAFFAN
The Waikato Students’ Union have moved quickly to fill three vacancies created
Troy was the only appointed candidate who unsuccessfully ran in last year’s election
at the start of the year. The WSU announced three weeks ago that they had
and is well aware of the organisation having spent the majority of last year as a WSU
received the resignations of Brad Fulcher, Patience Ngara and Winara Levi.
volunteer at events. He is currently in the third year of a Bachelor of Engineering.
“Brad had a serious look at his time commitments and realised that he didn’t have
Zack is a founding Member of the WSU Students Abroad Network club and a
the time to give 100% to the role. I really respect that” said WSU President Indula
third year Management Student with a background and passion for sustainability.
Jayasundara. “Patience and Winara were both offered amazing opportunities at other Universities and that has to come first.”
Nexus had the chance to chat with all three of them on picture day and asked them one important question and two potentially #relatable questions.
Indula was also quick to dismiss the suggestion that the vacancies were an issue for the WSU.
Tell us like we’re five years old — what do you want do as a part of the WSU?
“If you look back over the last three or four years you will see that this has been
Zack: I want to make sure all students have a great time, all the time.
a pretty regular occurrence for students. The commitments they make in August and September change because their lives change. All three of the people that resigned have my absolute best wishes and my respect.” To fill the position the WSU put out an official expression of interest around
Jolene: As part of the WSU I will be working alongside an amazing team that helps make every student’s experience at Waikato University unforgettable (in a good way)! Troy: We help the big kids solve grown up problems and do a bit of cool stuff here and there.
campus and notified students via Facebook. “We didn’t want to drag this process out. I was on a board last year with by-
What has been the highlight of ORI2016 for you?
elections and appointments and SGM’s and we just wanted to simplify the
Jolene: My highlight of ORI2016 has been seeing all of the hard work of
process and make sure people were excited to get started in ORI and that they
everyone involved payoff, plus the interesting conversations in the ‘Safe Zone’.
were going to be the right fit.”
Troy: Rocking out to Tiki’s questionable “acoustic” set, it was pretty fucking sick
To make the three appointments the WSU asked for CV’s of prospective candidates and conducted an interview process with the President, VicePresident, Vice-President Māori and Kale Isaac who acted as a representative for the other directors. Five candidates were shortlisted and interviewed and of those Jolene Skeen, Zack Pentecost and Troy Anderson were appointed.
aye. Zack: The WSU bread rolls. Straight up. Actually love the lettuce in it. What was your favourite thing to do as a five year old? Troy: Listening to my dad’s band jamming, back when he was a hard core cunt. Zack: Eat heaps of nachos, and play in the dirt at school. Still kinda do both of
Jolene is currently completing her final year of a Bachelor of Law with a second
those now, but was a bit more acceptable back then.
major in Political Sciences while also studying a graduate diploma in Japanese
Jolene: My favourite thing to do as a five year old was probably to eat play
and Chinese.
dough and run around in a Batman cape.
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CREATIVITY
News NEXUS MAGAZINE
HIGH FIVE LAST DITCH WINS JAMES RAFFAN
In honour of Steph Curry’s last second impossible 3 against OKC we present the top last ditch wins. FIVE JONNY WILKINSON
SPORTS OPINION GETTING A BLOW JOB FROM A DOG IS SACKABLE.. MAYBE JAMES RAFFAN
With one kick Wilkinson secured England a world cup victory 20-17 in the only acceptable time to cheer for England in sports... against Australia. FOUR MICHAEL SCHUMACHER Leading closest rival Damon Hill by a single point in the last race of the 1994 formula one season Schumacher did what any of us
We love sport, in large part because it lets us release our inner sociopath. There is a feeling of acceptance that comes with saying “That’s my team.” The avid sports fan is one that speaks almost solely in inclusive pronouns. It ceases to be
would do. He orchestrated a crash that put both he and Damon Hill into a wall making it impossible for either driver to gain any points.
“Manchester United needs to win” and instead becomes “We need the points” or
THREE MARK COYNE
“Our biggest problem,” and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It makes
The 1994 try in State of Origin I will always be referred to as “The
us feel like we are part of something bigger, that Steph Curry’s success is “our
Miracle” The 79th minute winner didn’t just set up game 2 but
success” or the Boston Celtics failure has less to do with their outside shooting
defined a generation of supporters.
than it does my decision to cancel MySky and get Netflix. The problem is when we make the sport a part of our lives we also make the
TWO CARLTON “PUDGE” FISK
athletes part of our lives and we forgive just about anything in the service of
In baseball it doesn’t get better than a walk off homer in extra
winning a championship. Two years ago football God, Ryan Giggs, was exposed
innings of the world series. For the cursed red sox team the
as having cheated on his wife with his brother's wife over an eight year period as
game six comeback in Boston was the moment they truly
well as nailing literally every woman he wanted and my response was “as long as
started to believe they could put Babe Ruth to rest. They would
he stayed faithful to my team I don’t care.”
lose game 7 and have to wait 25 more years to break the curse
That consistency doesn’t seem to apply to governing bodies. When NFL star Ray Rice knocked out his then-girlfriend and dragged her from an elevator he was
but still... nice hit.
initially suspended for 2 games. Apparently that was punishment enough till the
ONE MANCHESTER UNITED
video leaked. Conversely Jesse Ryder got drunk, missed a flight, and was virtually
Solskjaer, the treble, 1999, I cried watching it.
banished from cricket forever.
2016, I cry watching replays.
These double standards are no more obvious than in the NRL. Over the past ten years it has been plagued with incidents of alcoholism, domestic abuse, and whatever it was Hopoate was doing and it has yet to draw an absolute line in the concrete. In 2009 Brett Stewart got suspended for four games for being drunk and allegedly assaulting a young woman but the NRL refused to consider suspending Shaun Kenny-Dowall while he faced 17 counts of a similar allegation. It should be noted the SKD was acquitted last week on all counts. The real test case will come from Mitchell Pearce after video surfaced of him simulating sex with a dog on Australia Day. Which sounds like a one off incident that should never happen in sports but 4 years ago the Raiders star Joel Monaghan was released from his contract for exactly the same thing. So far the Roosters only action has been to remove him as co-captain but unless they release him they are setting a dangerous precedent. Do we really want the NRL to be the sport that says “If you’re going to fuck your dog make sure you do it in Sydney because they are more sympathetic to that sort of thing.” Surely in today’s mixed up world we can all agree that if you hit a woman in an elevator and drag her body out, or you get a gobbie from a dog you no longer deserve the right to be on “Our team” 7
NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts
HOW INDULA SPENDS HIS CASH
Every year the Waikato Students’ Union gives an Honoraria to its directors. It’s a way of recognising their contribution but not a full wage or salary. The amount is approved each year at an AGM and last year it was decided that amount would stay at $30,000 for the President. Now normally that money, payable in installments, is the President’s to do whatever they want with. For pretty much every President it’s money that helps them survive so they don’t need to get a job and can spend more time working for you. Indula is doing something a little different and asked if we could walk you through it so it’s as transparent as possible. TAXES $10,000 (APPROX) Being young and a guest in this country Indula actually pays his taxes. Technically he pays at a truly depressing rate so you can take around a third away but that’s fine. It’s not like that money will go to waste on a stupid flag referendum nobody actually wanted in the first place. GUITARS AND A PRACTICE AMP $1,000 Some of you may not know this but Indula was the founder of
MEET THE DIRECTORS HANA TE KOWHAI OHIA VICE-PRESIDENT MĀORI
the Waikato Musician’s Club on Campus. His first act as President was to arrange the purchase of 10 guitars and an AMP to enhance arts and culture on campus.
Ki a ora whānau. I thought I better introduce myself on the off chance that you actually read this
DIRECTORS GRANTS $4,000 Each WSU Director will be allocated $500 of Indula’s honoraria provided they can put together a proposal that will benefit students. Note that so far these proposals are not allowed to include letting the Nexus staff get on the piss but we are working on that.
part of the magazine and you’re actually interested in what I have to say. Either way, I’m stoked that you’re here. Those shirtless Ryan Gosling campaign posters in the girls' bathroom must have worked. Ko Hana-Te Kowhai Ohia ahau. He uri whakaheke ahau o ngā kāwai rangatira o Ngai te Rangi, Ngāti Pūkenga, Te Atiawa, Ngāti Kahungunu, Rongomaiwāhine anō hoki. Ahakoa nō wāhi kē atu taku whakapapa, i tipu ake ai au ki te kōpū mānia o
VOLUNTEERS $1,000 A thousand dollars will go solely to giving our volunteers more rewards, and things to do at social functions.
Kirikiriroa. This is my fifth year at Te Whare Wānanga o Waikato studying Strategic Management and Te Reo Māori. I’m excited for what this year has in store for us. As a result of a few long conversation I’ve decided that two of my main focuses are increasing
INDULA’S GOT YOU COVERED $2,400 Actually spending money to give you a discount off stuff at UniMart. That’s going too far.
engagement with the Tauranga campus and increasing Faculty representation in Māori student forums. I will continue to represent and engage with our Māori community and I aim to strengthen the relationship between Māori and nonMāori students. I’m up for anything. So guys it’s published now and you can all
LIVING EXPENSES $11,000
hold me accountable.
He isn’t the first President to sneak into the VC’s office and sleep on his couch at night and he won’t be the last. Now if he would only stop using the VC’s spare toothbrush...
He piiki wero kei mua i te aro. I can’t do it alone so I’m going to need as much help as I can get. Always keen to have a chat with anybody and open to hearing your thoughts on what we could be doing for students. So you can stop me if you see me walking around campus, most probably puffing and running out of breath so
CHARITY PROJECTS $600
please stop me. You can flick me an email at vpmaori@wsu.org.nz or you can pop
Last year Indula founded the #P.OneZero appeal that helped
in to the Student Union Building (across the path from Unimart) for a visit. Best
give out fresh food and water in Sri Lanka. He also raised
days are Wednesdays!
money to buy heaters for kids as part of a Children’s health trust initiative. This year he is starting with $600 in the bank we are a little intrigued to see what he will do with it. 8
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CREATIVITY
Entertainment NEXUS MAGAZINE
BEST OF THE WEB BEAUTY YOUTUBERS MANNY MUA YOUTUBE.COM/USER/MANNYMUA733 Manny is the perfect combo of hilarious, likable and knowledgeable. He has a background in freelancing for MAC so he has great advice for different skin tones and types and does a massive range of looks, different to your run of the mill “Smokey Clubbing Eye” videos that are a dime a dozen. GLAM&GORE YOUTUBE.COM/USER/GLAMANDGOREMAKEUP This girl is insanely good at what she does, a self-taught
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special effects artist, she isn’t afraid to make herself look ugly asf for her craft, which in one of her videos includes includes turning herself into a zombie sloth. I know. Weird. You’ll never have another half-assed Halloween
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costume again. SHONAGH SCOTT YOUTUBE.COM/USER/SMILES2310 Let’s face it, every pretty girl with a YouTube channel who
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knows how to contour is a “makeup artist” these days, but this British girl genuinely knows her shit when it comes to beauty makeup. Even if you can’t get that eyeshadow blend as perf as she does, you can listen to her soothing voice and feel like you’re learning something. NIKKIETUTORIALS YOUTUBE.COM/USER/NIKKIETUTORIALS If you have any interest in makeup and you don’t live under a rock, you’ve probably seen Nikkie pop up on your Facebook or elsewhere. Girl is hilarious and does makeup on clients as well as herself, so you can see how her makeup looks on different people. Her full glam looks are to die for and her highlight makes angels sing.
WHAT’S HOT 1. The new serenity on the Green 2. Lecture-free Fridays
PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME NZ ON-AIR PERSONALITIES
“Happy wi-fi happy life” JESSE MULLIGAN CAN FINALLY STREAM PORN AGAIN
3. Being in a tutorial with that babe you’ve been checking out
WHAT’S NOT 1. Frizzy hair on muggy days 2. Sweating like a slimey lake creature
“Can I just start calling myself an academic?”
3. That loud breathing weirdo who’s tryna be your friend
GUY WILLIAMS HAD TO GOOGLE HOW TO SPELL 'ACADEMIC’
“Until I realise they’re talking about Hillary” HILARY BARRY STRUGGLES WITH NEWSROOM CLINTON TALK
9
NEXUS MAGAZINE
MUSIC THE NAENAE EXPRESS EP SEAN HURLEY
The Naenae express are a group of dudes from Auckland. They self-describe their sound as Jansen-rock (Jansen being a former NZ made brand of guitar amps). I first heard them when they opened for The Chills (for those who aren’t familiar probably the best NZ band ever.) They looked like they had just finished soccer practice and hadn’t had enough time to take a shower. I think one of them was wearing a Melbourne Storm jersey onstage, and there was at least one pair of Nike scuffs there in the mix. Not that it really matters. In my opinion they stole the show. They managed to pull off the Dunedin sound The Chills are so well respected for. Their laid back mix of surfy oldskool janglepop makes you feel like you are literally “hitching a ride on a hermit crab.” This mixed with some intense shoegazey guitar solos, fuzz pedals and crazy lyrics about being chased by monsters, sea anenomes and saving the bees will make any wannabe hipster feel like they are drinking their favourite pumpkin spiced latte.
FOOD MAVIS & CO
If you like the EP you should also check out The Chills, The Clean, Superette and pretty all of the 80s Dunedin bands on Flying Nun.
EMMA NYGARD
You can download the Naenae Express 9.3 EP for free on bandcamp here: https://thenaenaeexpress.bandcamp.com/releases.
Mavis & Co is a Hamilton landmark, situated snugly between that gym you pass on your drunken walk home from town and every finance major’s dream employer. It’s conveniently close to Hamilton East and therefore remains most student’s stepping stone into the world of being a full-time brunching bitch. The food isn’t necessarily out of this world, offering a pretty standard selection — however the presentation is what sets this place apart. A visit to Mavis & Co guarantees the inevitable ‘Gram will pull in the coveted 11 likes.
FILM DAD’S ARMY JARED WOOLDRIDGE
Whether it’s the meticulously put together cabinet selection that boasts delicately hand crafted macarons and citrus cakes, or the
Don’t panic, there is a new Dad’s Army movie here, and rest assured, it does not
rough and rustic interior that feels vaguely as if you’ve drifted far
ruin the memory of the original. That does not mean that it is good, just that it is
from Hamilton into some foreign bakery in the south of France.
not bad enough to insult its own existence. Instead it is just boring. I mean, a whole
The overall vibe is what makes Mavis a staple destination, with
lot more boring than it really should have been. I seriously wonder whether or not
friendly service and some gentle James Bay playing in the
the writers and director realised what they were actually making. Everyone looks
background — it’s perfect for soothing that hangover or getting
right, and sounds right, and it definitely feels like England in war-time, it just does
in some much needed study.
not feel like Dad’s Army. Hardly a laugh in it.
There are a few tips I have for visiting Mavis:
The story feels just like something out of an episode of the old series, which is
• ALWAYS order from the cabinet because the food, generally, is as good as it looks and is a lot nicer than the food on the menu.
a problem. It just feels like a 45 minute story stretched out for a movie. The cast are on point though, and fill in for the originals ably. Toby Jones, Bill Nighy, Tom Courtenay, and especially Michael Gambon all do great work, and become the characters rather than mimic them. The problem is they just sort of stand around
• Get the hot chocolate! It’s the kind of HC that the lactose intolerant would make an exception for — and they give you a free Whittaker’s chocolate bar!
as a basic story unfolds before them, as their Home Guard platoon has to hunt down a Nazi spy in the town of Walmington-on-Sea. I loved the original series, but while the cast are game, the rest of the movie is not.
Mavis is the perfect place for cake and coffee — a place I imagine
There are none of the gags, or witty banter, or sneakily dirty jokes that I am used
sitting at while I start that novel I’ve been trying to start for five
to with these characters. The only time the movie throws some half-decent humor
years, not necessarily a place I’d recommend for a hearty meal.
is when they are actually hunting down the spy, and that comes too late in the film
But well worth the visit!
to make any mark. As for the rest of it? A boring waste of time.
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CREATIVITY
Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE
THEATRE KNITTING GEORGIA POLLOCK
Where: Meteor Theatre, 1 Victoria Street When: March 10th-12th, 6.00pm
Tickets a turn up wearre $5 if you to raise awaring orange domestic abeuness of se.
Tickets: $5 (door sales only) The Hamilton Fringe Festival is bringing us yet another fantastic one act play… but this one is not for the faint hearted. Knitting is an “absurdist” play, or a play written in the style of “theatre of the absurd.” Absurdist theatre is written in the belief that there is no meaning to human life. Therefore, it can be rather “unstructured”, irrational, illogical, and often darn right confusing. For this reason, Knitting is the perfect play to go to if you’re looking to expand your knowledge of different theatre styles, or if you’re a seasoned theatregoer. Knitting was written by New Zealand playwright Brian Turner, and is a play not unfamiliar to director, Lorna Ashton. Lorna directed and played Bertha in Knitting nine years ago, as well as having been in and directed several other Brian Turner plays. This play is set in the faded old lounge of Bertha, and focuses on three women: Bertha, her caregiver (Rose), and their crazy next-door neighbour (Mrs. Pottz).
BOOK MAYHEM ANTHOLOGY MEGAN CULLEN
It is a bizarre, macabre, assertive piece of theatre, which is bound to implement many visceral reactions from its audience. Despite what the title might suggest, the director has assured us that, “this play is not about knitting. It is a grotesque one act play with a variety of interpretations.”
Collecting the best of the best of Waikato student’s creative writing, and packaging it together in one volume is a tall order, but a little something for everyone hides inside the first the online journal has finally made the leap to print, and
SHOW MASTER OF NONE
the medium definitely suits it. Tracey Slaughter notes in
SEAN HURLEY
Mayhem Anthology. Having just launched its third instalment,
her editorial that Mayhem founders “wanted to give you a hardcopy experience, a form that reflected the body of the work, its hot blood, vulnerability, muscle, tenderness.” If it was
Parks and Recreation alumnus and stand up comic, Aziz Ansari, debuts in a lead
connection they were after, they’ve achieved just that. The
role with his new project Master Of None. With a title based on the common cliche,
Mayhem Anthology often sticks you where it hurts, and, by
and Beach House song, the show follows a 30 year old single guy in New York City.
speaking the unspeakable, bridges the gaps that are created
This is not the first, nor last sitcom about living in New York, however this show
when the hard stuff happens. It’s a volume to read if you feel
differs a lot from other depictions and isn’t your run of the mill sitcom.
alone. While Mayhem has previously been critiqued for being too angry, the diversity of voices displayed in the anthology are so much more than just angry. The Mayhem Anthology is a great choice if you’re trying to snatch some downtime in between classes or course requirements. These bite sized snapshots will pull you all the way in, but not take up too much of your time. The book is listed as a course text for a couple of the writing papers, and there’s a nice symmetry that student’s writing is now being used to help teach other students. The idea that everyone has
The show feels like classic Aziz. The humour is dry and very awkward, Aziz and his group of friends are anything but your stereotypical New York demographic, if you have seen Parks and Recreation you will notice similarities between the character Tommy and Aziz’s portrayal of himself as Dev. I liked the script for this show, however some of the dialogue just seems too unbelievable and awkward. Some of the minor characters are pretty terrible, and the acting for Dev’s parents is so hilariously bad that it’s almost good. Although the show addresses some pretty relevant issues, mostly race and gender, it can seem a little preachy at times, particularly as the series starts to progress.
a story to tell built the Mayhem community, and now that it’s
This show is similar in style to Louis C.K. and Curb Your Enthusiasm, both in my
in print it can reach out and make even more connections.
opinion in another league, however as this is only in Season One I feel there is potential for this to be a great show. Would recommend for Netflix and chill, the perfect balance between a soap opera and a sitcom. 11
NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts
ARTS MAKE ROOM FOR SKINROOM
What is it with the visual arts? Superfluous add-on or
Mason Holloway’s large canvas, In Peace Time, All
essential ingredient in the matrix of human evolution?
Propaganda Is Art, is an urban collage that recalls the
PETER DORNAUF
across institutions, cities and planets. One can be illiterate on
The visual arts are in reality the gates shut against the barbarians, against the arrested aesthetic development many different levels. Fortunately there are little artistic flames flickering outside the ordinary perimeters of institutional frameworks here in the city.
Kearvel. These were small and simple figures — heads of people and animals but the kicker was they were done in cross-stich on canvas. The fact that such an unorthodox style and medium also displayed an expressionist flavour added
If you’ve passed by the Claudelands overbridge recently
Skinroom. No, this is not Brenda’s hair removal service but
you will have seen the huge striking mural painted by Eliza
a new art gallery recently opened with an exhibition called,
Webster. This was part of a larger project that involved many
High Gloss, showing the works of twenty local artists who
artists who last year painted murals around the inner city
are at the cutting edge of their practice.
precincts. Webster’s work involved colourful silhouettes of nude figures bent over in various gymnastic formations. Her works in the gallery are maquettes of that piece, finely rendered on canvas.
sees the two combined in various ironic ways. His “Skull
Ben Clancy produced some sharp-edged lino cuts of flies
Print” is an image of just that, but surrounded by what can
and slugs, reminiscent of early Killeen, while Rachel Perry
only be described as a William Morris-like wallpaper imagery
created a digital print, called Suits that depicts a human
complete with flowers and birds. Life and death play-off
(male) with the head of a Raptor, mouth open and teeth
against each other here in unexpected ways.
bared. Significant, in the context.
I write this before this year’s Oscars. The 2016 awards —
Take for example the career of Leonardo DiCaprio, this year’s
the 88th, covering films released in 2015 — have attracted
likely Best Actor winner [Editor’s note: apt prediction, Dr
criticism for their “lack of diversity”. That’s code for old
Swainson]. He’s good in The Revenant but the part doesn’t
fashioned racism. Because no people of colour have been
actually require much acting. There are remarkably few lines
nominated the suggestion is that the Academy is racist.
and all he has to do is suffer, something that would come
I don’t have much time for this argument. The Academy is a
quite naturally given the arduous location shooting.
flawed institution just as the industry it’s drawn from is a flawed
DiCaprio should have won two years ago for The Wolf of
industry, with imbalances of power, favouring a mainstream,
Wall Street. It was towering performance, the culmination
white majority. To suggest though that this expresses itself
of years of work with director Martin Scorsese. So what
in some grand conspiracy against blacks in particular is
happened? Matthew McConaughey won for Dallas Buyers
ridiculous. Yes, Straight Outta Compton didn’t get a picture
Club. McConaughey was enjoying a career renaissance at the
nomination. Arguably, it wasn’t good enough to warrant one.
time and the part was classic Oscar fodder: a nominally true
Will Smith missed out on a Best Actor nomination, too. So did
story about an AIDS victim. The performance was big and
the best performers of the year. Why wasn’t Ian McKellen in
broad and obvious and nowhere near as good as the actor’s
Mr Holmes recognised? What about Michael Caine in Youth
work in Mud two years earlier or True Detective, that same
or Tom Courtney in 45 Years? Is the Academy prejudiced
year on television.
against elderly British thespians? McKellen is also gay. Is the Academy homophobic because it failed to nominate him?
The Academy tends to reward those who have obviously paid their dues and those who if there was any justice in
The truth of the matter is that the Academy plays by its own
the process should have won on earlier occasions. If films
rules and politics and almost invariably gets things wrong.
or actors are genuinely edgy or out of step with the cultural
It is forever making decision based on sentiment, creating
zeitgeist they tend to have little chance.
injustices in the process.
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A favourite in the show for me were the works of Annelise
to the delight.
combined with a preoccupation with mortality and skulls,
12
associated with the nature of art itself.
at 123 Commerce Street, (Level 1). The gallery is called
has had a long love affair with glitter as his medium. That,
RICHARD SWAINSON
subject matter. Heavily political, it exposes the conundrums
One such venture has just been inaugurated in Frankton,
One of those exhibitors, Mark Curtis, formerly at Wintec,
AUTEUR 2016 OSCARS
work of German artist, Jorg Immendorff, both in style and
CREATIVITY
Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE
COVERED TIM INGLE
Age: 31 (I know, I’m old) Occupation: Graphic Designer What was the process for your cover art piece? I started just penciling in some circles, figure-eights and s-curves to flesh out the basic composition. Then I looked for shapes that formed objects and made them more explicit by outlining them in ink, leaving plenty of room for improvisation. Shading from dark to light was the last part of the process, which is where focal areas are brought out. I like to take my time, with many cups of coffee and good music fueling the mind. What medium/s do you tend to work in and why? I like to use extra-fine-tipped ballpoint pens — they allow you to shade almost like a pencil, yet provide awesome contrast with the black ink. I am a complete pen fiend, and buy most of my pens on ebay or while overseas. Describe your style in 3 words Psychedelic, playful, spontaneous Where can people find you online? The best place to follow my work is on Instagram — @crankillustration. I also have a Facebook page @crankdesign and a website www.crankgraphicdesign.com How many mugs do you own? Apart from pens, I can’t stop buying mugs! I think because coffee and drawing are such a nice combination. I think I own about 17, the most recent were two chocolate brown ACF mugs from a hippy store in Thames. 13
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
FEATURE FRINGE FESTIVAL BRITTANY ROSE
Brittany met with Jo Williams and Alec Forbes from Hamilton Fringe Festival to talk about the festival itself (running March 3rd–13th), the origins of the creative community in Hamilton and tried to find a definition for the noun driving this whole magazine — creativity. What is Hamilton Fringe Festival and what’s it all about? Jo: It’s about original artwork, that’s the focus — it’s original accessible art, it's open access, it’s open to anybody to participate. Alec: Fringe Festivals used to be around a bigger festival but now they’ve become a thing in their own right, it is about alternative and experimental and that generally means it’ll be new and self-written work. This incarnation to Hamilton Fringe Festival happened around Fuel festival which was running out of the Academy and the Meteor. Fuel was New Zealand work, but expensive to make and attend, people were coming in from overseas and around the country so we became the ‘fringe’ of that. In a way that was the start, and then Fuel fell over and we’ve carried on. Other Fringes around the country and around the world now exist in their own right, they don’t need to be associated with anything anymore because it’s become a thing by itself. So in the sense that it has been attached to more established and more expensive festivals, is there a tension of ‘High-brow’ vs ‘Low-brow? Or do you dislike that term? Alec: Um, no. I dislike that we would be ‘Low-brow’, yes there is popularist element to some of the things that we do, but then — it’s the same thing at the big Fringes — it’s more about cost. Fringe Festivals are generally much cheaper, they can also include things that are very fine line in terms of art and performance and edgy, while bigger Fringes — traditional, more high-end Fringes — are more conservative generally, they’re more established and expensive than what we are. Fringe has to be accessible cost-wise otherwise it’s a low-grade version of a highend festival. Affordability is very important for the audience, for the viewers, to be able to attend lots of things. What’s the driving philosophy behind that? That everyone should have access to art or creativity? Or? Jo: Yeah, yeah. You don’t need to have a degree, you can be self-taught, you can never have done a thing in your life. That’s where you find the best kind of work, where things just sort of spontaneously happen. You just want to be there when it happens. Who is involved in the behind the scenes? Which individuals and groups make this happen? Jo: We have a committee which has got seven people on it — three of us have been here for a quite a long time, Alec (since the beginning), Katie, and myself six or seven of interns and our video makers Jono & Kitty. We meet once a week, and we don’t really have an official structure or anything, it’s kind of all pretty loose and all pretty random and spontaneous like you just sort of text somebody ‘Can you do this?’
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CREATIVITY
ARTWORK: POETRY AND PAINT
years, Chelsee for two years, Ross on and off, Archer Miller and Joseph Scott are sort
Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
Alec: It’s not completely random, things do get decided and do get done.
Alec: It’s about thinking in a way rather than just doing what other
Everybody on the committee has their own area that they’re more concerned with,
people have done, or in the prescribed many of the way things follow,
and Jo has to keep an eye on all of those things. I don’t know too much about the
when you just sort of almost turn off your brain and follow the line. This
visual art — they come and talk at the meeting and I go “oh yes”, and then I talk
is about thinking “this could be done in a different way” and then doing
and they look at me and agree. Jo keeps an eye on, and has to think about, the
it in a different way. Everything is creative — putting a pencil on a table
whole sphere, the whole world at the same time.
is creative in a way because you’ve done something, and it’s the way the pencil lines up with the shadow — creativity is constantly around us and
Who does the festival thank for its funding, and how important is it to
it’s how you choose to acknowledge it. If you believe in the value of it, then
receive support from local sponsors?
everything becomes a creative expression in itself. Also, at the same time,
Jo: We actually formed a trust in 2014 to be the official body for administering the festival. We used to be connected to the Hamilton Community Arts Council, and Creative Hamilton, but Fringe had been going long enough that it needed to just become its own independent body — we’re pretty independent..
it exists without anything else, if you then put a frame around it or then put it somewhere else or tell somebody about it, then it becomes art because you’ve got a third person coming into it. But everything we do — you could say — is creative in itself if you choose to think about it in that way.
There’s lots of people in the community that help us and we worked with and if we ever got really stuck on something then we could go to Creative Waikato and ask them for advice. We get grants from charitable trusts like Well Energy Trust, and Creative New Zealand’s Creative Communities fund which exists to fund more grassroots type of art. Our artists can apply to that themselves as well. Groups of talented creators from the University of Waikato are making
EVENT FRINGE FESTIVAL
appearances in your programme — most significantly in the spoken word section — is this typical? Is there an increase in UoW creators? Alec: I would say no. But there are a lot of people who are at university who do get involved, maybe not in university based groups but as a part of other collections of individuals. A lot of the groups come together for a Fringe Festival show and then disappear — there’s not many groups that survive — they’re sort of like congregations for that one particular event, which is fair enough.
WHAT An all ages festival of creative arts showcasing the best visual arts, theatre, music and spoken word that Hamilton has to offer AND MORE!
It does happen, but a lot of the time someone’s got an idea and they build the
WHEN
show or the performance around that idea, they do it have a nice time, they
Thursday 3rd March – Sunday 13th March 2016
dissipate. You don’t end up working with just one person; in a way that is quite
12.00pm onwards each day
healthy because it keeps that dynamism and you don’t get tunnel vision. Jo: The uni events are pretty much down to Naomi Roche up at the Art Fusion Gallery, creating a meeting place for people and being a catalyst for these events. She has her gallery there and they’re having an exhibition. She’s basically got all of the activity that’s happening at the university and made it be a part of the Fringe. Final Q: What does creativity mean to you? Jo: Well, I think it’s one of the ultimate ways to express individuality, like if you have 12 people in a room all drawing the same object, each drawing is going to be different and it’s just a precious thing for people to be able to use all these different, particular pathways in their brain. You can make your own artistic decisions and not care what anybody else thinks. But then putting it out there and showing other people is a whole other kettle of fish and that’s really brave.
WHERE The Meteor 1 Victoria Street, Hamilton PRICING (Door sales only) Full: Gainfully employed Concession: Students, beneficiaries, pensioners, under 16 Koha: Entry by donation Free: Free! MORE INFORMATION hamiltonfringe.co.nz
It’s really important for yourself. If creating is what you have urges to do then you need to do it.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
FEATURE PAIN IN THE ARTS ONYX LILY
Arts students are no strangers to being mocked. The BA, commonly referred
IN THE NEWS
to as the Bugger All degree or the Bachelor of Alcohol, is considered by many
The much-maligned arts degree has been in the news recently, with a report
(mostly management students) as an easy ride with no discernible job prospects.
from Universities New Zealand on the value of a university degree stating that
And our old friend Steven Joyce would have you believe that an arts degree is
ninety percent of arts graduates are employed in degree-relevant roles and that
about as much use as a dildo in the face (but then, he is a dickhead).
the average arts graduate is earning above the national median for salary and
But contrary to what the National Goons would have you believe, rather than
wage earners.
being a ticket to a career asking “would you like fries with that?”, an arts degree
The New Zealand Herald even took a break from licking Jonkey’s arse and
opens up a whole world of opportunity. While teaching grads are prepared to be
rehashing BuzzFeed articles, and wrote one of their own about the value of a
teachers, and engineering grads are prepared to be engineers, arts graduates
degree. Writer Danielle Wright notes that training for specific jobs can even be
are prepared not just for one career but for any career. And the huge benefit of
counter-productive, as many of the jobs that will exist in 10 years’ time, don’t
that is, when teaching jobs are impossible to find, arts graduates will be laughing
exist now. She also notes that “A British Council survey showed that more than
their versatile little buns off all the way to their interesting and hugely varied jobs.
50 per cent of 1700 leaders in both private and public organisations across 30 countries had degrees in the social sciences and humanities, testament to the
In my first ten years post-uni, I worked as a freelance stage manager, theatre
transferrable skills acquired in the more general degree programmes.”
manager, retail assistant, children’s party entertainer, learning support assistant in a hospital school, outdoor education instructor and as an administrative temp in the private, public and not-for profit sectors. In all of my employment, what has helped me to succeed has been the intrinsic skills of an arts education.
Independent researcher Hannah August, currently undertaking a summer residency at the Michael King Writers’ Centre also thinks that arts grads have an unfair public perception. She is carrying out research on the way New Zealanders value the arts and humanities, and why we have a perception of the BA as
An arts graduate, no matter which subject area they majored in, will have skills
“bugger all” use. The data, she says, doesn’t match this perception. Hannah’s
in critical thought and analysis, written and oral (shush) communication, curiosity,
research points to arts degrees providing both economic return to the individual
creativity, and the ability to think on their feet, and those skills match pretty closely
graduate, but also wider returns in terms of personal development, heightened
with the top attributes required by employers. All jobs will have specific skills and
self-awareness, and a shift in the way they engage with society. One survey
knowledge you need to gain and employers won’t expect you to know how to do
respondent said simply that “it made me a better person”. The majority of the
everything. But the skills they need you to already have include the capacity to pick
respondents also said that although they thought their tertiary education was
up new skills fast, learn and understand processes, and come up with improvements.
too expensive, and their student loan took a long time to repay, they had no
And “excellent communication” is cited as a must-have in most job ads.
regrets about going to university or taking an arts degree.
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CREATIVITY
Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
GLOBAL CULCHA Unlike Marmageddon, this is not a uniquely Kiwi problem. Spiralling student fees the world over, and increasing pressure from governments to ensure universities can demonstrate the value of their degrees by producing high tax-paying citizens, have led to more students (and parents) questioning “what job will I get?” rather than “what will I learn and will I enjoy the experience?” Julie Farrell of Trinity News (Ireland’s oldest student newspaper) writes that worldwide there is a growing perception that STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering & Maths) and Business qualifications are the sensible option; opting for a degree in ancient history or sociology is perceived as self-indulgent and meaningless. This appears to be linked with a global decline in the public’s willingness to pay for “culture” when there is so much freely available (or pirateable) online. In any case, the research suggests that a degree is worth the money and time
“Training for specific jobs can even be counter-productive,haats many of the jobs t s’ will exist in 10 year .” time, don’t exist now
you spend to get it, regardless of the discipline area. What seems to be most important is that students choose to study something they enjoy and for the experience of learning, not solely the size of the pay check at the end. As the great philosopher Macklemore said “Don’t try to change the world, find something that you love/And do it every day/Do that for the rest of your life/And eventually, the world will change.” So arts students: hold your heads high and cast off the mockings of your less enlightened peers. And at graduation, when you are proudly clutching your mortar board and degree certificate, and Uncle Bruce says, sneeringly, “So, what are you going to do with that?” you have permission to smack him in the face. Preferably with a dildo.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
FEATURE WIZZ KIDS SEAN HURLEY
Hamtown Smakdown is an annual hardcore punk festival (running 18th & 19th March) held here in Hamilton. With a ‘No drugs, no violence, no alcohol’ policy plastered across their event poster it’s clear that the focus isn’t on getting fucked up, it’s about the music. But is being really loud with a mic and a drum kit creative? Sean Hurley spoke to the vocalist from Wizz Kids — we’d tell you his full name but there were about 4 pseudonymous surnames floating around in his emails. He’s definitely a Chris though. How did you guys all get together? Well the band was originally a two piece consisting of our guitarist Alex and our drummer Ben. Sam plays bass and I do vocals. What’s with the name? I guess it was just kind of a simple catchy sounding name, Ben and Alex would have thought it up at some point. It could possibly be a reference to amphetamines as well, but I’m not really sure whether they were thinking that at the time. Later, when I joined I had a few lyrics about technocrats and wunderkinder which kind of ties to the whole “Wizz Kids” thing. What does creativity mean to you? Something to do with the desire for novelty. A reaction against boredom. Who would you say are the band’s influences? Our biggest influences would probably be stuff like Buzzcocks, The Damned, Wire, The Fall, X and 80s American hardcore, the Hamilton state of mind. We’ve never really consciously set out to emulate anything. It just comes together out of whatever is in our heads when we get together. Lyrically, there is a lot of stuff to do with technology, black comedy, dysfunction, sci-fi and other weird fiction. How do you guys go about writing songs? It usually starts when Alex comes up with a riff or a few riffs that can be put into some kind of structure and then he’ll bring it to us. Ben will put some drums down on it, he can usually just kind of come up with something. Then chums (Sam) will develop the bass line, just start off playing along to the guitar and then add to it. Then we’ll all make comments about the structure and maybe things that we think would sound cool and slowly kind of polish it out. Usually we’ll record before we forget anything, I’ll listen to it a few times and start writing lyrics. Who would you say are your favourite bands to check out in Hamilton? I would say as far as punk, The Contenders are back after a brief hiatus and should be doing a lot of shows in the near future, also Spiteful Urinator, there’s another down the line a lot more coming from our side projects. There’s a guy who moved up here recently called Cam who drummed in a really awesome band called Phone Sex Robots, most of them are based in Wellington but cause he’s up here now you can expect to see them around.
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PHOTOGRAPHY: DALLAS HOUGHTON
band called Crows which used to play quite a few shows. There’s probably further
Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
Can you talk a bit more about the side projects? What’s going on there? Alex does the Contenders, they will have some recordings out soon. Sam is in another band called Love Mess, with the guy Cam I mentioned. The other two guys are based in Auckland. They’re just like a really crazy, fast, cool hardcore band, they’ll be up here a lot. I’m doing another band, again with Sam, called Blue Cross, we’ve kind of stopped and started a few times, we’re going to try and get an
EVENT HAMTOWN SMAKDOWN
album’s worth of stuff down in the next few months, it’s a noise rock kind of band. Do you think enough people are aware of the music scene, there is a
WHAT
Hamilton music scene right?
All ages hardcore punk festival.
Yeah, there is, yeah. I think it’s kind of picking up a little bit more too. Sam and
Food available from 6:00pm.
Cam have been putting on shows pretty much every week at Nivara Lounge. There was a really good one at Biddy’s recently. Hamtown Smakdown is coming up soon
WHEN
as well and that’s a really good chance for anyone in Hamilton to see a lot of the
Friday 18th March, 7:00pm to 11:30pm
hardcore and punk bands in the country.
Saturday 19th March, 7:00pm to 11:30pm Doors open at 6.00pm
Where and when is Hamtown Smakdown? Hamtown Smakdown will be at the Meteor from the 18th of March. Anybody
WHERE
curious about punk and the whole subculture should check it out. There will be
The Meteor
food, zines and merch/records available at the venue. See the Facebook event
1 Victoria Street, Hamilton
for more info. Do you think the underground scene in Hamilton will ever be as big as cities like Wellington and Auckland? I think it must just be a cyclical thing because there’s still some really awesome bands around here and if any more get formed then like, I’m sure there must be enough people. Hopefully things like Smakdown and other showcase shows are enough to get more people aware of things, and then from there you can springboard and promote shows. There are people that put a lot of effort into the Hamilton scene. There’s still venues, there’s still the human infrastructure, and there’s still bands so I think it’s only a matter of time.
PRICING $20 Festival Pass MORE INFORMATION facebook.com/hamtownsmakdown FESTIVAL HEADLINER Outright (Melbourne, Australia) https://www.facebook.com/outrightmelbourne FROM NEW ZEALAND
How would you sum up WIzz Kids in one sentence?
Too Late
It’s fun when it works.
Bonecruncher One Outs Markdown
“Usually we’ll recordhing, before we forget awnyttimes I’ll listen to it a fe rics.” and start writing ly
Salvage B.C.B The Contenders Love Mess Bridge Burner Superior Vision Master Blaster HFD Blind Threats Slughugger
21
NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space
YOUR SPACE THE GALLERY AT 15F The most striking aspect of this space is the artistic aptitude of the residents and guests which is exhibited in the living area. An entire wall is dedicated to the creative expression of those who walk through the front door â&#x20AC;&#x201D; some art pieces are pretty fucking cool, others look more like the scribblings of a child. This cute lil home has a lot of personality and charm and it's definitely a student flat â&#x20AC;&#x201D; highlighters and stacks of books scattered around the place. Keen to have your space featured in Nexus mag? Email lyam@nexusmag.co.nz
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Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE
23
NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
PREZ SEZ
hari kOrero
PREZ SEZ BIG IN OUR BACKYARD
HARI KŌRERO INFO OVERLOAD
INDULA JAYASUNDARA
INGOAMUNA
ORI2016 has been big, especially for my team who I’d like to thank. The WSU
Nau mai e te whānau ki te paepae kōrero. Pretty dangerous giving us the
staff, volunteers and the Directors have pulled off a huge two week orientation
mana to say whatever we want so I won’t be THAT person, I’ll just ease us
with long days and late nights that were mentally and physically challenging
into it. You’re probably sitting in the back section of PWC trying to kill some
for every single one of us. However, the end result makes all our sleepless
time and you’re on ‘Intro to uni’ overload. After five years at uni, I know I’m at
nights worth it. The reception from students was nothing short of amazing it’s
kaumātua level but I feel like I have one or two things on lock. I’m not gonna
great to see you all had an unforgettable time during ORI2016.
sit here, blow my pūtātara and talk about how my kūmara are the prettiest but
Our focus has been keeping you safe and helping you enjoy the university
these are some things I wish I knew before coming to whare wānanga.
experience. A few of the main precautionary steps taken by the WSU and
I’ve only learnt this now, but my biggest piece of advice would definitely be
the University of Waikato were the five buses running in and out of campus
to look after your health. I thought it was the fresher five but I kid you not,
transporting students to town, and the Safe Zone in Hamilton CBD. Despite
I’ve put on 20kgs since starting uni and that sucks ass. I’m not saying you
all the hard work, we had a complaint from a resident pointing to outrageous
can only eat kale, just order a snack box instead of a lunch box next time
behaviour by students. It is extremely disappointing to know that a few
you go to Cameron.
students managed to ruin the party for a good majority. The WSU and the University wants you to have fun, but if you want to see exponential growth in your orientation experience the recklessness and destruction needs to stop; stay classy. I had another experience during the van shifts where one student tried to impress his friends and started abusing my mate who was driving at the time. Just letting you know, Sir, that we have better things to do than to voluntarily drive your drunken ass home at four in the morning. As much as we love
If you have to do group work and you’re one of the only three brown brothers or sisters in the class, don’t go in their group. It’s choice as being the different one in your group and you all of a sudden become the expert on all things Māori. Always read the chapter summaries. I went through years googling the chapters looking for a summary cause I hate reading. You still wanna know what the lecturer is on about, it sucks when the lecturer asks you a question and you’re just blank.
taking care of you and your safety we expect gratitude and some mutual
Always take sugar into a long ass class. Go and hit the Unimart pick and mix
respect. All you achieved that night was to embarrass your mates and make a
because those 3pm classes are the worst and you wanna be awake.
fool out of yourself. If you want to embarrass yourself further come see me in the SUB Building – G.27.
To avoid all stairs on the way to Management School walk to the lift in S block, out the door and up the lift in A block and voila, that’s where the 20kgs came from but yolo I pay 6K. I just thought I’ll keep it at 5 since heaps of things come in fives e.g. fingers and the OG One Direction. Ok so not heaps. Anyways, slay this year and if you guys have anything to say in this column then contact vpmaori@wsu.org.nz and we can make it happen. Churr.
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Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE
Nerd
NERD YORK TIMES MA-REY SUE
EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY ASSIGNMENTS
JARED WOOLDRIDGE
BRONWYN LAUNDRY
Hello again. Last week eased you met friendly Jared, but now it’s time to really
EXPECTATIONS
get down and start nitpicking and engaging in pointless arguments. But first,
The minute you get the course outline, you circle the date of your first
a fun fact! Did you know that a Mary-Sue (or Gary-Stu) is a character used
assignment in your diary, and after your first lecture you start to draft up
in fiction as a sort-of wish-fulfillment of the author? They’re basically able to
ideas. They fly to you like students do when you advertise free stuff in the
do anything at all that the plot asks of them, however miraculous, and they
Village Green. You spend every free moment in the library, researching,
originated within fan fiction. Wasn’t this fun? On a related note, what I want
reading books and constructing the most well planned essay in the history
to do today is to dispel the notion that some people have that Rey, from the
of ever. The hot Momento barista even starts to bring you free coffees and
latest Star Wars film, is in fact a Mary-Sue type character. Let’s examine this.
have witty banter with you, because they admire your thirst for knowledge
So, we have Rey; she is revealed to be “strong with the force” (it’s actually quite ridiculous writing those words), but has never known this before in her life, and therefore shouldn’t know what to do with it. She’s been trapped on a desert planet nearly her whole life, scavenging spaceships for parts to sell, in quite a dangerous joint. Then somehow she can jump in the Millennium Falcon, fly away, resist Force-trained Kylo Ren, and hold her own in a lightsaber fight against him. Okay, strong argument. Allow me to counter.
so much. Your essay is practically glowing when you hand it in a full 24 hours early, and your lecturer smiles knowingly at you, because he can just feel the A+ pulsating from it. If this were Wintec, it’d be the first recorded A+++. You leave with the overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and the hot barista’s number in your phone. REALITY You know you should have started this essay earlier than the day before. You
Mary-Sues do exist, and they don’t make for a very good story at all. There’s
know you should have started this essay weeks ago. But somehow, when your
no fun in some insanely-talented person swooping in and saving the day
lecturer said “You can’t complete this in one day,” you took it as a challenge.
whilst being oh-so-perfect. Rey is not such a character. For any out there who
It’s been 2 hours. You’ve written 1 sentence. You open YouTube and spend
hold this view, a few points: she can fly a spaceship, correct. But she explains
the next 2 hours watching people play Minecraft. You open Word again. The
in the movie that she has pilot experience and can at least fly a ship. Plus,
cursor curses you. You curse yourself. You walk to the dairy and buy 2 cans
she has been taking apart and studying spaceships most of her life, and is
of Mother. The warning label says you shouldn’t exceed more than 1 a day,
shown to have a clear interest in pilots. Okay, but she resists a fully-trained
but clearly you like to live life dangerously. You open Word again. By 3am
Sith lord whilst never having used the Force before? Well no, Kylo Ren’s not
you’ve hit the halfway mark, and at this point you feel as though your essay
fully-trained, and are we forgetting that Luke Skywalker blew-up the Death
may either be single handedly the most philosophical and thought provoking
Star using the Force, having only learnt about it the day before? Rey at least
essay ever written, or complete and utter horseshit. You’re leaning towards
has heard of it, which is made clear during the movie. Okay, but surely she
horseshit. The hours between 3am and 4.30am are a blur, and it won’t be until
can’t beat Kylo Ren, a trained knight, in a duel? Wrong! Sure she can, she
tomorrow that you’ll find out you sent several Sushi cat pictures to your ex. Is
spent her life defending herself with a stick from thieves and smuggler. Plus,
the last paragraph too early to introduce a brand new concept? Definitely. But
her opponent has WAS SHOT BY A WOOKIE.
it’s 6am and you’re getting desperate, so you do it anyway.
If you believe Rey to be a MaRey-Sue (patent pending), then you are wrong. She’s just awesome, and perfectly in keeping with the past heroes the saga has enjoyed.
When you finally hand it in, 10 minutes before the deadline, you truly and completely understand the meaning of “Cs get degrees”. Word of advice — no one ever actually died from starting their essays a few days earlier than the deadline. You might like to try it sometime.
25
NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
MODERN DAY MIXTAPE V2 LYAM BUCHANAN
HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D SALTED ROSEMARY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES VITAMIN D
From Big in our Backyard to the cesspit known as Hamilton Town the last few weeks have definitely been frothing. Now that another O-Week is done and
Time to get your gourmet on with these sweet-and-salty bastards, guaranteed
dusted it’s time for a breather, let this froth come down to a simmer.
to have your significant other weak at the knees. Oh student, they’ll breathe as
V2 is my second gift to you. Creating this is what got me through last year’s B semester exams; I’d force myself to do at least one more section before losing another hour into some new tracks. Countless afternoons have been spent sifting through Spotify’s discover, listening through far too many EP’s and albums to pick out the most mellow and semi-depressing tracks possible. Whenever I feel as if a piece has the right vibe it’s sent straight to the big ol’ cesspit known as ‘my music taste’, from there it gets filtered into one of many awfully named playlists, before being transferred to the
they nibble your earlobe, I had no idea you could do such things with flour and sugar and those shrubs that grow on traffic islands. Who taught you these ways? Thank me later, preferably at climax. You’ll need about eight hours to get these ones right — ten minutes of prep, overnight to chill the mix, fifteen minutes to bake a tray, and half a second to burn the roof of your mouth because you don’t let them cool before eating you greedy fuck.
minimalistic glory known as the Nexus Spotify. This collection is the love child
Sling 280g butter, 1C brown sugar and 1C white sugar in a bowl and whip
of a predisposition for the need to have a different music taste to others and
that with your electric beaters until it’s creamier than your mum after a night
an addiction to day dreaming.
with the Navy.
V2 can be shuffled or played standard to the same effect, I’ve designed
Add 3 tablespoons of vanilla essence (get the good stuff you cheapskate) and
it so that each song flows into another and carries a similar almost lo-fi
two eggs and beat it as hard and fast as you did your junk in Year 11.
electronic/alternative theme. One of the more notable pieces would be Karl Williams’ ‘Rammer Perfekt’. This gingernut is Denmark’s gift to the genre, none of us can understand anything he’s saying but that’s the whole beauty of it. I generally like to imagine he’s singing about how much we’ve missed the uni sword fighting club over summer. ‘Tattoo’ is another classic, molded by the glorious Tuka, this song is the audible evidence that bogans aren’t
Ease in 480g (about 2 ¼C) of plain flour, 1 ¼ teaspoons baking soda, 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder, 300g or so of dark chocolate chips (not Nestlé’s; they’re arseholes), a teaspoon of fresh and finely chopped rosemary and a teaspoon of coarse salt and mix that shit up so it’s nice and sticky. Smother the mix with glad wrap, find a place for the bowl in the fridge and leave it overnight. Oven up to 175°C and line a tray with baking paper. Get the dough out — it
artistically challenged. Not only does this playlist have one of the laxest vibes ever produced, but 90% of the artists hail from just across the ditch; take a moment to appreciate that some of the chillest tunes to ever caress your eardrums have actually been created by beautiful mullet grooming, eccy shelving bogans. Think of this playlist as a weird form of motivation; if a bunch of Australians can create
should be firm and sticky, like your sister after a night with the Navy. Roll it into beer-pong sized balls and space them onto the tray. They’re going to spread so give them some room. Sprinkle them with a little more sea salt and slide that tray deep into the oven for 15 minutes or so. You’re looking for soft but golden brown.
the modern equivalent of Bach’s concertos while monged off their chops you
Take them out and slip them onto a baking tray to cool. Repeat with the rest of
can definitely finish at least a box before waddling to a taxi.
the mix or just sit there in your pants eating straight from the bowl. In any case,
If you find yourself looking for a much-needed breather you can find this playlist on our Spotify: nexusmagazine
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sink your teeth into the fragrant sweet-and-savoury combo of chocolate and salted rosemary and pretend that you know what you’re doing with your life.
PAK’NSAVE HEAD CHEF NEXUS BURGERS Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE INGREDIENTS 800gm Mince 1/4 cup (ish) of Breadcrumbs One egg Mixed herbs Chopped onion METHOD 1. Chop onion for patties. Place cut buns under a low heat grill to toast — make sure you monitor them throughout. 2. Chuck mince in a large bowl, and add breadcrumbs slowly. Use your hands to mix the breadcrumbs throughout the mince. The crumbs hold it all together and soak up any excess meat juice. It shouldn’t be too coarse, nor too meaty, so use your judgement. 3. Crack an egg into the mix and squish it through with your hands. 4. Rinse & repeat — literally, your hands will be messy — this time mixing through chopped onion and mixed herbs. 5. Roll the patties into approx 8 even sized balls, squash into a pattie shape. 6. On a med-high heat element place a pan and cook your patty — pay attention and only flip them once. 7. Fry some bacon in a pan alongside your patties if you’d like extra yum. 8. Add a slice of cheese to the browned side of the nearly cooked patty and let it melt on the meat in the pan for around 30 seconds before popping it on a toasted bun and adding your choice of fillings. 9. Build your burger on your toasted buns, adding mayo or relish as desired. Enjoy. FILLING IDEAS Lettuce
Bacon
Tomato
Avocado
Cucumber
Onions
Cheese
Gherkins
Mushroom
Pineapple
Fried Egg
Beetroot
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Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE
Brought to you by The Bank Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection. If you’re keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz
He’s into girls, and she’s into boys — based on this compatibility we felt as though we’d hit the nail on the head with this match. Though the most important question is did they get nailed or give head?
XX SHE SAID
XY HE SAID
I was very excited to get picked to go on the Nexus
After downing a coupley homebrews I arrived a little
Blind Date. Mainly for the free cocktails, and secondly
late, she didn’t seem to mind though. I was nervous
for the free food. I arrived early for once and chugged
at first thinking with my luck I’d be paired up with a 3,
back a feijoa cocktail hoping that my date wasn’t going
but she was looking great. Better than great! She was
to be a typical fuckboy like the last person I dated.
looking good. Keen to get stuck in, I ordered the most
It was a relief when your average “nice guy” strolled in. He joined me at my table and proceeded to boast about how much homebrew he bombed before getting dropped off at The Bank. More average banter and jokes followed with 4 shots and a double Jäger and Coke to hopefully make the time fly.
flamboyant drink on the menu, some sort of passionfruit assault on the senses. As the night progressed, Q Lazzarus started playing over and over in my head while the passionfruit cocktail took control. We ordered food and shots, talking shits and perving at the waiter, the food was good and the shots were better. The date went ok, she’s a business woman and I’m an artist so I guess it
To be honest I think we were both more interested in
wasn’t the strongest flame but we bonded over her cool
Chris the attractive barman. I don’t think either of us
dad, bad groupchat nicknames, DJ Max Key then later
could take our eyes off his luscious beard and sensual
we face swapped on Snapchat... what a nightmare that
man bun. I had to suppress the John Key in me and
was. Anyway we finished the bar tab with some more
refrain from grabbing it. When the night finally came
cock sucking cowboys, my legendary flatmate gave us
to an end, my date for the night managed to get a ride
a ride back from town, then we parted ways. The date
for us towards uni and I got dropped off at my old
went off to some house party and I went home, had
FWB’s house for the night.
some cones then hit the sack, and then I went to bed.
Overall 5/10 experience. But at least one of us got laid. P.S. Don’t decide for someone if they want dessert or not. Dessert is my favourite meal of the day.
She’s a cool chick but I don’t know if she’d be keen on round 2 with this cock sucking cowboy. Thanks anyway Nexus, you’ve taught me so much about myself and for that you have my sincerest gratitude.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles
SUDOKU
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CREATIVITY
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character to be real?
Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE
CROSSWORD Solve the clues and fill in the words. 1
Across
2
1. Pretetious applause for poetry (8) 4. In style — French (7) 3
6. Theatrical person (8)
4
7. Inventiveness (10) 5
9. South Victoria Street theatre (5) 10. Adjective to describe an art snob (11)
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12. Writer (4) 13. Concerned with beauty (9) 7
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15. Paint (7) 16. Personalised creation (7)
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11 12
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3. Over the fucking top, crazy Gaga shit (2,2) 5. Articulation (10) 8. Express (6) 11. Pollock paint method (8)
14
13. Andy Warhol style (6) 14. Employs 'sandwich artists' (6) 15
16
HOROSCOPES Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)
Cancer (June 21 — July 22)
They say no man is an island but if you keep eating Wongs
UniRec says treat your body like a temple but the zodiac says
chicken every night you are going to prove them wrong.
treat it like a playground. Fill it full of “candy”, go on as many rides as you like but make sure to institute a strict height policy.
Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)
Leo (July 23 — August 22)
Mars is in retrograde so don’t sacrifice any virgins this week
After the intensity of the last two weeks you will find comfort in
#DebSocLivesMatter.
trying something new, unless that new thing is finally attending a lecture.
Pisces (February 19 — March 20)
Virgo (August 23 — September 22)
This week if someone says cheaters never prosper test that
If you’re asking yourself “What Would Jesus Do?” should you
theory, fuck their boyfriend.
really be reading your horoscope? Those two things seem directly contradictory.
Aries (March 21 — April 19)
Libra (September 23 — October 22)
Talk to the girl in your tutorial it’s been two weeks now and
Free yourself from inhibitions, make love like no one’s watching and
people are starting to think you get an erection for learning.
maybe the RA’s will turn off the mirror camera in your room.
Taurus (April 20 — May 20)
Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)
Creativity touches even the loneliest soul. But the woman
People who say don’t be a quitter don’t know shit. Einstein quit
named Creativity who works at Hush Hush has a strict no
being a patent clerk to establish the laws of the natural world. I’m
touching policy.
quitting this horosc...
Gemini (May 21 — June 20)
Sagittatrius (November 22 — December 21)
Robert Frost said “Good fences make good neighbours” but
Karma is a bitch but she’s a friend of Creativity’s and how they
he clearly never had to walk from FASS to Bongo Sushi during
choose to make a living isn’t for you or I to judge.
O-week. 33
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