NFamily Magazine May/June 2013 by NFAMILY Magazine

San Antonio Parenting Magazine

By St. Peter – St. Joseph Children’s Home

tips for swim safety

HANDLING PICKY EATERS

HOOKED ON FITNESS

FitnessFUNatics

MONKEY BARS

3 STEPS

to neutralizing resistance

for the mind

PAYING IT FORWARD may.june 2013

The Cox Family nfamily magazine 1

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SAVE THE DATE: JUNE 28, 2013 THE DOMINION COUNTRY CLUB

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4 nfamily magazine

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may2013june

contents 12

feature

parenting

child development

- A family of service

- Raising glass children - The ties that bind - Commitment: The high C - An alternative approach - Monkey bars for the mind - Summertime for students

- Take a detour - Learning curve

special issues

therapy

faith

fitness

nonprofit

arts

- Swim safety 101

- Go from fear to freedom - Celebrating family first

- How much is enough? - The imperishable wreath - Distracted parenting

- Family fitness starts with you - Hooked on fitness

- The dream lives on - Following footprints - Creating lifelong learners - Advocating for the arts - Family fun for all

- Creativity redefined - Gearing up for a grand finale

Blessed with three exceptional children and a desire to pay it forward, Joe and Eydee Cox share their inspirational story of love, laughter and never giving up. nfamily magazine 5

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may/june 2013

Eliot Garza

CEO / NSIDE Media Productions

Tina Rabe Publisher

Editorial Director Kelly Hamilton

Executive Editor Erin O’Brien

Creative Director Elisa Giordano

Graphic Designers Damaris Fike Cristina Villa Hazar

Executive Assistant Ashley Gray

Account Executive Marissa Tejeda

Contributing Writers Chris Cannon, Danyelle Daniel, Bre’anna Emmitt, Jesse Guerra, Maurice Harris, Terry Hyland, Cedar Joiner, Erica Jones, Lenore Kaiser, Charles J. Karulak, Ed.D., Katherine Lozano, Jody Joseph Marmel, Manny Martinez, Bob McCullough, Rachel Mickelsen, Anna Migeon, Susie Monday, Ron Nirenberg, Suzanne Parker, Aaron Seaman, Lori Tips, Casey Weed, Laura Michelle Wolfe

Photography Jonathan Alonzo Photography, Michael Giordano, Dwayne Green

Editorial Intern Katrina Torres

With your family of the way.

every step

Tina Rabe 210.667.0037 tina@getnside.com ● ● ● ●

6 nfamily magazine

For advertising information, please call 210.667.0037 or email tina@getnside.com. For editorial comments and suggestions, please email kelly@getnside.com.

www.getnside.com 18402 U.S. Highway 281 N, Ste. 201 San Antonio, Texas 78259 Phone: 210.298.1761 Copyright © NSIDE Media Productions. All rights reserved. Reproduction without the expressed written permission of the publisher is prohibited.

nfamily staff

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Erin O’Brien Executive Editor

Elisa Giordano Creative Director

erin@getnside.com

elisa@getnside.com

Damaris Fike Graphic Designer

Cristina Villa Hazar Graphic Designer

damaris@getnside.com

cristina@getnside.com

Marissa Tejeda Account Executive

Ashley Gray Executive Assistant

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Medical Center: 2414 Babcock Rd., Ste. 109 San Antonio, Texas 78229 nfamily magazine 7

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from the editor The universe works in strange ways. It’s quite fascinating when you stop to consider it all: divine intervention, the creation and destruction of all things on our planet, the chemistry between people or just the wonder of human life in and of itself. It seems the wheel keeps turning whether we are having fun or not. Resembling the circle of life, families experience the birth and death cycle together as a unit. The bonds forged within the family are created to temper the growing pains of change in good times and bad. In this issue of NFamily, we have the honor of featuring the Cox family. With an undying love that spans the test of time, the Coxes have flourished throughout their 22 years together. The family of five exudes the chemistry of commitment and mutual adoration we should all be so fortunate to experience. Rooted in the stability of an unwavering promise to each other and their three children, Joe and Eydee Cox ride the waves of change, growing stronger with each challenge and accomplishment. Historic times are upon us as the definition of family is challenged. Regardless of your persuasion and definition of what defines the concept of family, I challenge you to see the beauty in commitment and the chemistry that keeps that commitment alive and flourishing. It is that promise to one another as guardians of our homes that creates the foundation from which our children learn to trust and love both themselves and others. It is from that promise that our children acquire the impermeable skill of respect for themselves and others. It is from that promise that our children learn the withering concept of commitment and the daily devotion to those who matter that is required to keep the bonds firmly in place.

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kelly hamilton Editorial Director kelly@getnside.com

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One of the themes I noticed in these movies was the strong relationships associated with family. The intensity of the relationships leads to some amazing heroic deeds. It made me wonder: What is it that makes the relationships within a family structure different from other relationships? The answer is the mother and the father! Nowhere else but in the family do these roles have such significant meaning and responsibility. All of us have experienced the necessity of both at some time in our existence, even if it was only at conception. We recognize instinctively, if not rationally, how impactful a mother or a father is in influencing who we become. This issue of NFamily magazine comes during a time we celebrate both mothers (May 12 is Mother’s Day) and fathers (June 16 is Father’s Day). No matter what you think of the secular materialism associated with these days, please indulge me as I turn your attention briefly to the specialness of the role(s). Here’s my Hallmark moment … Mothers = an unwavering love, each one giving at her own capacity. This is different and unique for all mothers, depending upon their own life journey. Suffice it to say, your mother loves you the best she can and would give you a thousand times more if she could. Fathers = a sacrificial love, each contributing at his own capacity. This is shaped by what he’s come to believe is right and wrong as the world pounds against his endurance like waves against the shore. Suffice it to say, your father loves you the best he can as he withstands the forces the world pushes on him. I pray all mothers and fathers grow in their capacity to love their children just a little more this year, and that NFamily magazine helps you achieve this end.

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feature

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A Family of Service

Inside my run for City Council District 8 and my role as a husband and a father by Ron Nirenberg | photography by Jonathan Alonzo Photography

“M

y name is Ron Nirenberg, and I’m running for City Council District 8.” That’s the first thing I say these days when speaking before any group. What comes afterward is more important: “I am a husband, and I am a father.” My day usually begins before 6 a.m., starting with checking the news, answer-

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12 nfamily magazine

ing emails and letting the dog out. Over the course of the next hour, my wife, Erika Prosper, and I negotiate our 4-year-old, Jonah, out of bed, eat breakfast, discuss the day’s events and let the dog out again, and then off we go to our days’ work. For both of us, that day has always included jobs and community service, but over the past year, it has also included a political campaign.

I’ve learned that things aren’t all that different for many families in public office. Through the years, San Antonio’s council-manager form of government has changed, but the spirit of volunteerism is much the same. The men and women who have served on the council often manage families and careers while dedicating themselves to their communities. Having worked with municipalities

across the country developing civics programs for the Annenberg Public Policy Center, I found that this work-life-service balance exists most everywhere. Whether it was Los Angeles, Denver, Tulsa, New York City or San Antonio, elected officials did their best to manage the demands of their community, while living up to the expectations of being a mother, father, husband or wife. Some, clearly, were more successful than others at that, and when I set out on this journey, I promised my wife and son I would do my best at balancing it all. It’s not always been easy. But it’s always been worth it. Many days, I find my Jonah fast asleep when I get home. I kiss him on his cheek and wait to talk to him in the morning. Other days, I’m in time for a bedside prayer and even an entry from the Baseball Hall of Fame encyclopedia. Sometimes, we get to run around the park, watch a movie or just be silly for a little while – although my wife says the campaign trail has made me much more “serious.” I’ve overheard them talking about me. “Mommy, where is daddy going?” Jonah asked Erika one Saturday morning early on in the campaign. “To go ask people to vote for him.” “Why?” “So he can make the city better.” “Oh.” Jonah’s been learning to read and write throughout this campaign. Recently, when he got an excellent report from

a teacher on his prepenmanship, I told him how proud I am of him. Then I asked him the same question: “Are you proud of daddy?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because you are making the world better.” I nearly broke down, not because I heard it from my son, but because I knew where it came from. My wife is an executive who is equally involved in the community. She always manages to find the time and energy to keep our household running smoothly. I often come home to find the next day’s lunches made, the kid bathed and ready for bed, dinner served and the wine open. She fits in directing a strategic planning session for one of her volunteer boards, a trip to buy Jonah new shoes, a visit to a friend and who knows what in between. To her, stuff like that has always been in a day’s work. Now I’m learning it firsthand. Family is about acceptance, and in the path I’ve chosen, sometimes, it’s about accepting time away and inviting criticism – even ridicule – in order to do the right thing. That’s probably the toughest thing to accept: the ugliness that comes with politics. Negative and underhanded advertising is alive and well everywhere. Maybe I was a bit naïve because in this race, my opponent said he was going to keep it clean. I assumed he had the integrity to keep the campaign focused on the issues and on the facts, just as I did. Then, out of nowhere, a barrage of misleading attacks appeared in the mail and on the Internet. Though we had seen such tactics from afar, it was new to Erika and me, and it felt ugly. There I was, depicted in full-color caricature, just like my son’s Star Wars stickers. My wife took it personally and felt somehow that the family had also been targeted. I turned to one of Aesop’s fables, which Jonah and I

had been reading together. In the story of the apes and the two travelers, two men – one who spoke the truth and another who often lied – were traveling together. They got lost and were captured by apes. The king of those apes asked the lying traveler, “What sort of a king am I?” The liar replied, “You are the most mighty king that ever lived.” The ape commanded that he be showered with gifts. Then the ape asked the truthful man the same question. He replied, “I see you not as a king, but as the biggest ape.” The ape, angered at hearing the truth, gave him over to be attacked by the claws of the other apes. Just after I saw the deceptive attack ads, I felt as if I had been given over to the claws of a legion of apes. But the feeling didn’t last long. Erika and I quickly realized that tactics like these serve best to reveal the character of the attacker. Such is politics, I guess. So I say, Mr. Briones, do what you think you must. Just know that in this campaign, I’ll continue to stick to the issues, I’ll compare our records and I’ll defend myself from any false attacks you may conjure up in the future. I’ll just do it my way: with the truth, with verified facts and with personal integrity. That’s what the people of District 8 expect from their representative. That’s what they deserve from me. And that’s what I’ve always done as a father and a husband. ✪

Ron Nirenberg is running for City Council District 8. Early voting begins on April 29, and Election Day is May 11. To learn more about Nirenberg’s run, visit www.voteron8. com or his Facebook page (VoteRon8). nfamily magazine 13

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parenting

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Raising Glass Children

Parents with more than one child face a unique set of challenges when one of their children has special needs. Here are three things parents can do to provide support for their “glass children.” by Rachel Mickelsen

aising multiple children is tough, but it is even more challenging when one of them has special needs. Taking care of each child in these difficult circumstances takes an exceptional effort, but it is well worth the time and energy for the overall health of the family. Parents with more than one child in the home face a unique set of challenges when one of those children has special needs ● ● ● ●

14 nfamily magazine

– it often turns the entire family upside down. Special needs can be defined as anything that requires attention and care from the parent above and beyond what might be expected in normal parenting. The special-needs child might have a mental or physical disability, an addiction, criminal activity, a short-term severe illness or a chronic long-term illness. No one in the family is aware of this more than the siblings of the special-needs child.

The phrase “glass child” explains the phenomenon of how it feels to be the “non sick” sibling in the home. They are termed “glass” not because they are fragile, but because parents and society look right through them to the more obvious needs of their sibling. The emotional, social and financial resources required for the special-needs child can disrupt simple things like family meals and structure. Frequent treatments, stress on the home environment and

financial pressures produce hidden anxiety in these glass children. If the special-needs child’s life is in danger, the glass child can also become terrorized by feelings of mortality for themselves and their ill brother or sister. Alicia Arenas was a glass child. She spoke out about her experience as a glass child at the 2010 TEDxSanAntonio conference. As the oldest of three, she silently struggled through childhood because both of her brothers had special needs – one was severely autistic and the other was terminally ill. She was expected to always put on a brave face and be the good girl. Outwardly, she took on the role of a quiet caretaker, but she was dying on the inside. Now as an adult, she is an advocate for these glass children. She recommends three things parents can do to provide support for these children.

A place for help

Parents can find a place for their child to get the help they need. Tristan was in second grade when his older sister received a lifesaving kidney transplant. During that hectic year, he became withdrawn at school. Unfortunately, his teachers were not aware of what was going on at home until the holidays when the students were asked to create stockings with their holiday wish written on the outside. Tristan’s wish was: “I wish that my sister gets a new kidney because I’m afraid she is going to die.” Stunned by his declaration, the school counselor called his parents, and a series of appointments were made with the school psychologist to help him deal with his fears. Tristan, now 11 years old, is coping much better. He has become involved with Transplants for Children, which offers family support groups, as well as the nationally recognized SibShop Sibling Support Group Program. It helps all members of the family cope with the diagnosis, treatment and preservation of the family before, during and after the transplant. Support groups, therapists, counselors, clergy, family and friends can all be part of keeping the entire family supported and functioning in healthy ways.

Unconditional love

Every child deserves to know that he or she is loved unconditionally. Take the time to recognize how each child best receives tokens of love, and then do those things. Many expressions of love are not time consuming. A quick note in a lunchbox, an unexpected treat or an impromptu game of catch makes all the difference to a child. Dr. Gary Chapman has a book called “The 5 Love Languages of Children” that can be an excellent resource for parents to discover how they can best communicate love to their children.

Special time together

Because of her brothers’ particular needs, Arenas never spent time alone with her parents until she was 13 years old. Her parents missed the opportunity to let

Glass children may say they’re “fine,” but more often than not, they’re suffering inside. her know that she was important and valuable to them. Alice, a mother of four daughters, makes a checklist each day with her daughters’ names on it. She checks the box only after having spent time with each girl, interacting in a positive and uplifting way. Rashonda, a mother of five children, has two sons with ADHD who often require the majority of her time. She and her husband know the other children could easily slip through the cracks because they are generally well-behaved and seem “fine.” Arenas reinforced that the glass siblings may say they are “fine,” but more often than not, they are suffering inside. Rashonda’s solution to this is to assign each of her five children a weeknight to stay up a little later than the other children – talking, playing a game, having a treat together and reconnecting. All of her children look forward to the special time each week reserved especially for them. Serving your children by getting them the help they need, showing them unconditional love and spending time with each child will empower them with security and a strong self-concept. These patterns established in childhood are priceless gifts they will carry with them into adulthood. ✪

Transplants for Children is a San Antonio nonprofit with the mission to empower families to master the lifelong challenges of pediatric transplantation. To learn more, visit www.transplantsforchildren.org or call 210-949-1212. nfamily magazine 15

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parenting

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The Ties that Bind Family, faith and foundation by Katherine Lozano

he ties that bind us for life are woven into that amazing crochet called our DNA. God, the Master Designer, has a plan for each and every one of us. The scripture says He knit us in our mother’s womb. The double helix of our science classes does look like a chain as one link leads to another and another. Our ancestors live on in the mixture of who we become through the not so random combining of cells, each one with the blueprint of life. Look around your family and you will see a unique combination of traits, outlooks and personalities. Some traits move along the chain without making it to view for a while like the unexpected redheaded child who popped up in our family. Both my parents and most of their family members are brunettes, and along came my brother, Don, with a surprise of bright red hair. The family teasing lore says they had to bring him home from the hospital since he was the only baby born that day and they had to keep him. He was also a 10-pounder – a bit unusual for a 1960 model baby. His red hair and his size made him quite a bit different from the first three siblings, yet there he was, a testament to some long-ago ancestor with red hair. My first three brothers brought a rainbow of hair colors: first a brunette, then the redhead, followed by a blonde. The amazing mixing cup of DNA was at work in each one. My mother’s honor was further vindicated when son No. 4 came along with the same red hair. This time, they brought him home without question. We are all an amazing recipe, drawn from the best ingredients God has to offer. Each one is a gift and a joy to behold. Learning to accept and embrace the combination we are can be a challenge. We fuss over size, height, hair texture, athletic ability and more. From the moment of birth, we are compared to our parents, grandparents and siblings with a barrage of “he has your eyes,” “she looks just like you” and such projections. We yearn to see the physical connection with our ● ● ● ●

16 nfamily magazine

offspring and sometimes lament when they do not seem to resemble us. Yet physical characteristics are just the surface and the shell of who we are. The connection runs much deeper than hair color or the shape of the eye. We look for the outward manifestation of the DNA miracle, not realizing the most important chain is the one inside. The ties that bind us begin at conception and last for eternity. When I was surprised with my own redheaded child, I saw her as a gift of wonder and a connection to the past. Who knows if she will share her auburn hair in the next generation? I know that what counts – the deep love for family – will be shared. What matters most is that we build a foundation of trust with each baby, each child and each adult in our family. To truly learn to love and accept ourselves, we learn first about our value from the way our family members relate to us. Each child is born with an empty bank, waiting to be filled. At first, family members are the ones to contribute to the child’s self-esteem with love and affirmations. Our love and attention let children know they are worthy, valuable and deserving of love. Building a

Our love and attention let children know they are worthy, valuable and deserving of love. strong attachment in the early years of life sets a foundation that must be constructed for future success. Unconditional love provides this foundation. At some point, the growing child takes over the bank and must begin to make deposits into their own value. When we treat children with respect and love, their value grows. Part of that process is teaching them to love and accept themselves as unique children of God. The Master Designer entrusts them to us at the moment of conception. We become partners in nurturing a new person created in God’s

image. I pray that we are all up to the task. ✪

Katherine Lozano is the director of Parents’ Academy, a program that provides free parenting classes that empower parents with nurturing skills and positive discipline techniques. Call 210-5320894 for information on upcoming classes.

Shine

She’S achieved So much already, but that doeSn’t SurpriSe you.

becauSe

you’ve

alwayS

known

She

would

excel.

becauSe you believed in her. you have

Faith in her and her ability to go Far. and when She arriveS here, we Further her potential. becauSe we believe in her. we alSo See all that She can become and work to nurture her through Faith-baSed learning and Shared belieFS rooted in SiSterhood, enSuring She not only SucceedS at college, but leaveS with the Faith to move mountainS.

incarnate word high School Office Of AdmissiOns 210.829.3123 www.incarnatewordhs.org

Member of the UIW Brainpower Connection

nfamily magazine 17

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parenting

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Commitment: The High C Teaching children the value of commitment helps families weather the storms of life. by Rachel Mickelsen

s an adult, I now realize that life is more than just smooth sailing, but as a child, I dreamed of gliding off into the sunset, living out my “happily ever after.” At some point, and often unexpectedly, each of us face storms that rock our boat and send us ● ● ● ●

18 nfamily magazine

reeling. Just like we can prepare a vessel for an ocean voyage, we can prepare our children for the challenges they will face in life by teaching them about the powerful value of commitment, as well as embracing it ourselves. Commitment is stronger than love. Commitment is what keeps a family afloat

when they are being slammed by the waves of life. Brent A. Barlow, a leader in the science of families, once told me, “people can fall in and out of love, but they don’t fall in and out of commitment.” Children have a strong desire to feel security, and they feel that security when they understand we are committed to

graphite. They are both made of the same material, but a diamond is the hardest of all substances while graphite can be split apart. The difference lies in the depth of bonding in the atoms.” At www.franklincovey.com/msb, the wonderful Mission Statement Builder helps families take the first step toward developing their own mission statement. Another way we can teach this value is using words that imply our loyalty when

“People can fall in and out of love, but they don’t fall in and out of commitment.”

them. Teaching a child that commitment is an important element to the family can be accomplished in several ways. Developing a family mission statement powerfully illustrates commitment. A sign hanging in my neighbor’s home reads, “we can do hard things.” It acknowledges that life isn’t always easy, and it motivates this family to navigate through difficult times together. In Steven R. Covey’s book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families,” he says, “a mission statement will create a powerful bonding between parents and children, between husbands and wives, that simply does not exist when there’s no sense of shared vision and values. It is like the difference between a diamond and a piece of

we speak to each other. Meaning what we say solidifies a child’s sense of security. A wonderful illustration of this can be found in Dr. Seuss’ book, “Horton Hatches the Egg.” Horton the elephant commits to sitting on an egg and experiences many opportunities to back out of his promise. He repeatedly says, “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful 100 percent!” He follows through with his promise, and it pays off for him in the end. Adopting language that fosters commitment helps breathe vitality and hope for the future. “Never give up” and “you can do it” are encouraging phrases that express this idea. Families who can stand together and support each other in this way during tranquil times are far more likely to stay afloat when the waters of life become a bit more choppy. When those storms roll in (whether it is a chronic illness, an emotional disorder, the death of a loved one or any significant change in circumstances), a family’s commitment is often put to the test. Dr. Dennis Harper, a professor of pediatrics and rehabilitation at the University of Iowa College of Medicine, has been studying the impact of chronically ill children on families for 30 years. According to him, “it’s common to feel angry and then guilty for feeling that way. I think one of the biggest issues is the ambivalence around the

future and not being able to predict very well.” Strong families recognize that at times like these, support from outside the family helps them stay committed to each other and their values. No one would criticize a listing ship for relying on a tugboat to return it safely to the harbor. There is no shame in looking beyond the familial unit to help us through difficult times. For example, when a child is diagnosed in need of a bone marrow or organ transplant, there is a period of grieving that a family goes through. The child may feel angry, the parents may feel pained and brothers and sisters may feel neglected. Fortunately, there are organizations like Transplants for Children that have been providing peer support networks for transplant families in San Antonio for more than 27 years. Networks like this help the family overcome some of the common barriers to healthy family life by drawing upon what has worked for other families in similar situations. Transplants for Children’s sharing of the best practices of other families helps the family going through this new challenge better understand what to expect, how to cope and where individual support can be found to guide their vessel peacefully to still waters. One does not usually have to look far to find those willing to support the family. Therapists, support groups, clergy, family and friends are some of the “tugboats” that will pull us through the emotions and chaos that surround the trials of life. Utilizing these sources communicates and reinforces how committed we are to riding out the storm together. Teaching commitment to our children by creating a family mission statement, adopting the language of loyalty and seeking outside support in troubled times will anchor our families down. Life’s stormy weather may batter us around a bit, but families who internalize commitment will always stay afloat and sail off into that sunset, happily together. ✪

Transplants for Children is a San Antonio nonprofit with the mission to empower families to master the lifelong challenges of pediatric transplantation. For more information, visit www.transplantsforchildren. org or call 210-949-1212. nfamily magazine 19

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parenting

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An Alternative Approach

Prepare for the 2014 health insurance coverage reform by knowing your options for family health insurance coverage. by Lenore Kaiser

ith all of the changes going on with health insurance coverage, most Americans need to start thinking outside the box. Most of us depend on our employer to provide health insurance coverage, but with many Americans unemployed, between jobs or with outrageously high deductibles, it is easy to understand why some would feel compelled to search for alternatives for themselves and their family. In addition, many employers are now denying coverage to spouses to save on annual premiums due to the new fees that went into effect as part of the Affordable Care Act. In 2014, companies will have to pay $65 on average per life covered on its plan compared to this year’s $1 to $2 per life. That is a huge difference! Health law guidelines proposed

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recently mandate coverage of employees’ dependent children up to the age 26, but spouses are optional. The percentage trend in dropping spouse-covered insurance coverage plans has increased each year since 2010. Purchasing non-employer-based health insurance coverage can be expensive, especially independent policies. Insurance companies give greater savings to group type packages with companies because their potential profits are much smaller with individual insurance plans. This is true (more so) if an individual or someone in their im-

There are tax programs in place to offset some of the costs of individual health insurance. mediate family has a history of preexisting conditions, which makes them a higher liability of future major health insurance claims. The good news is that there are tax programs in place to offset some of the costs of individual health insurance, so make sure to look into these programs if you are considering that path. If choosing non-employer-based health insurance coverage, individuals should examine the scope of the coverage: n Benefit coverage and limitations n Visit limits and dollar limits n Premiums and cost sharing (including co-payments and deductibles) n Waiting periods for coverage Consider talking to a private health insurance agent, as this can be a great way to cut down on the cost of your policy while ensuring that you’re paying for a quality plan. Many physicians throughout the United States are looking

into alternative health care options for their patients. You will start seeing more of a trend of “cash-based” or “VIP” doctor care. Doctors doing such a practice only accept so many patients on an annual basis to provide better one-on-one care to those who sign up with them. Those patients pay monthly dues directly to the physician for such VIP care, removing health insurance from the equation. Other alternatives to consider for basic health care needs are telehealth providers such as Healthcare On Call, CallMD and RingADoc, which provide physician and nurse consultations and basic health care. This is ideal for families who are relatively healthy with no major health concerns. The cost varies, but overall, it is extremely affordable to give you peace of mind. ✪

Lenore Kaiser is the wellness director and owner of Kaiser Medical Management. For more information, call 1-800-764-0418 or visit www.kaisermedicalmanagement.com.

A HEALTHY, ATTRACTIVE SMILE gives you a look that exudes confidence and success, no matter how old you are. BRAD D. BRUCHMILLER, DDS DEVIN S. COCHRAN, DDS, MS AMY JACKSON, DDS, MS • 14855 Blanco Road, Suite 109, San Antonio • 7629 Tezel Road, San Antonio • 15900 La Cantera Pkwy, Suite 20260, San Antonio • 3820 FM 3009, Suite 180, Schertz • 3421 W William Cannon, Ste 143, Austin

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www.SouthTexasOrthodontics.com Most insurance accepted and filed nfamily magazine 21

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parenting

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Monkey Bars for the Mind Play is the touchstone of imagination. This summer, follow a few tips for arranging fun creative activities for the whole family to enjoy. by Susie Monday

his summer, take time as a family to honor your child’s imagination and make the “time off” from more structured learning more meaningful and valuable. So what are the essentials?

 Work from your child’s strengths P rovide activities, experiences, tools and toys that are openended – that have more than one “right answer” M ake time for creative work and play with “scratch” materials

Your child’s strengths While each person – no matter his or her age – has a constellation of sensory alphabet strengths (line, shape, color, movement, rhythm, space, light, sound and texture), your child probably has one or two that really stand out. These are things you notice in your child’s artwork, in what your child pays attention to or likes to play around with and in the particulars of your child’s collections and activities. When you use these proclivities to help you plan summer fun, you’re

more likely to find that your child has more fun, feels successful and retains more from the experiences. You don’t need to set up a fullfledged summer camp in your backyard (though that might be fun for a week). Many activities can be integrated into everyday routines, ordinary chores, your already-planned vacation and other ongoing activities. Our book, “The Missing Alphabet: A Parent’s Guide to Developing Creative Thinking in Kids,” has more than 65 pages of activities matched to the sensory alphabet. Consider making one of the nine the focus for a week during

your summer of fun. Here’s a sample of a few ideas from the book and its authors with summertime written all over them: Explore lines at the zoo. Collect the lines you see with a sketchbook or digital camera. Make your own map of the zoo and the path you take. At home, use the ideas and images you collected to make giant animal line drawings with chalk on the sidewalk, or paint on brown builder’s paper from the home improvement store. Explore movement. Build an obstacle course with simple materials in your backyard. Use boxes, ropes, boards, hula-hoops, balls and trikes. You can also build a set of ramps, roads and pathways for wheeled cars and other toys. Explore color in the kitchen. Layer three different colors of gelatin to make rainbow parfaits. Dye eggs, even though Easter is past! Purchase a selection of colorful vegetables and build edible sculptures for supper. Get some light picture books to read (4- to 6-year-olds). For more fun, read these with a flashlight in a backyard tent or tree house: ➊ “Shadow” by Suzy Lee ➋ “Moon Dance” by Frank Asch ➌ “ Moonbear’s Shadow” by Frank Asch ➍ “ Papa, Please Get the Moon for Me” by Eric Carle ➎ “ Shadows and Reflections” by Tana Hoban ➏ “Goodnight Moon” by Margaret Wise Brown

make a study Another approach for working with your child’s strengths is to plan at-home and excursion summer projects that can be structured – informally or formally – as creative “studies.” Not as school does, based on a curriculum of information from the outside, but as an inside job – a course of creative study based on an interest, an individual passion or a dream. A study is an investigation of a single thing, theme or idea. In a study, a child explores many different viewpoints, contexts and materials. For example, if you have a child who loves dinosaurs, take the dino theme big through the summer. Start with an excursion out to a dinosaur footprint site (several sites are close to San Antonio in the Hill Country); then take a trip to the Witte Museum to see the current dinosaur exhibit. Challenge your child to draw, paint and make collaged dinosaur art (how about a giant box sculpture of a Triceratops?), tell dinosaur stories and of course, make a weekly stop at the library to pick up a collection of stories, picture books, science stories and more. Explore the world of dinosaurs online via Berkeley University (http://www. ucmp.berkeley.edu/diapsids/dinosaur. html) and the Smithsonian (http://paleobiology.si.edu/dinosaurs/). Check out the app store for your phone or tablet for games and dinosaur education options. Collect fossils if you have access to a Hill

Country ranch; make rubbings of fossil stones you find in buildings and homes around San Antonio. Work jigsaw puzzles, build dinosaur sculptures and write a dino poem (here’s a how-to: http://www.enchantedlearning.com/subjects/dinosaurs/).

open-ended experiences Structure is good. Flash cards have their place. But “one right answer” isn’t what summer is about. Plan activities that have room for individual thinking and invention, while still providing enough in-

High-touch experiences are both important for cognitive development and essential for play.

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formation, boundaries and borders that your child gets and stays on the point. Depending on the age (and experiences) of your child, you may need to provide more or less structure to make an activity successful and fun for both of you. For example, turning a 4-year-old loose with four gallons of paint might not provide the right amount of structure – but giving him four gallons of lightly tinted water and a giant house paint brush, a few paint rollers of different sizes and a big sidewalk to “paint” can be a pretty fun thing to do – and amazingly engaging. For 5-year-olds, provide smaller paint containers, good quality brushes and paper cut into interesting shapes. Older kids, say 7 or 8, are able to handle real paint and big paint brushes for mural projects – but even with them, start with body shape outlines, big animal shapes or a project like painting a piece of furniture.

scratch materials In this era of tablets and smart phones and an app for every appetite, it’s easy to forget that high-touch experiences are both important for cognitive development and essential for play, which is the touchstone of imagination. Be sure to include things like mud, clay, water, flour paste, cookie dough, objects to take apart and put back together, blocks, costumes and masks, movement toys and sound instruments in your summer “things to do.” Experiences in nature, even if they’re just of the city’s wild-space parks or walking trails, are also essential to a child’s development, and current research shows they are important for us adults, too. As schools use more and more digital technology, parents are increasingly the source for scratch material experiences. If a child doesn’t have the chance to go hands-on at home, he or she may miss out on that important part of creative thinking, so be sure your summer has its share of messy fun! ✪

With Susan Marcus and Dr. Cynthia Herbert, Susie Monday is a co-author of “The Missing Alphabet: A Parent’s Guide to Developing Creative Thinking in Kids.” The authors share decades of experience designing summer and out-of-school programs for children, training teachers in creative learning programs and developing books and other learning materials. For more information, see www. themissingalphabet.com or purchase the book at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or another bookseller.

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24 nfamily magazine

Keeping your family active with

a Fitness guide for the whole family

Liz Whittaker // liz@nfitsa.com // 210.621.7301 nfamily magazine 25

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parenting

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Summertime for Students

Plan the perfect summer activities for students so they enjoy both a fun summer break and a positive learning experience. by Charles J. Karulak, Ed.D.

t’s hard to believe that the school year is moving along so quickly – this becomes even more evident after spring break. Other signs that signal our last few months of school are seniors’ excitement about their upcoming graduation, and as the weather begins to warm up and spring is upon us, students become a little more restless with anticipation of summer vacation. ● ● ● ●

26 nfamily magazine

At this time of year, parents often ask what type of activities they should plan for their students in the summer. This article will present several suggestions that may help guide you. Initially, state your goals for the summer, along with their expected outcomes. I suggest these thoughts be written down as you begin to assemble your list of events and fun activities. Next, a blank calendar with the summer months is a great tool for planning events.

List proposed dates. This can be written on paper or entered into a computer and eventually transferred to any useful electronic medium. A good starting point to set the parameters for this time frame is the first day of school for the coming year; then work backwards to the end of this school year or when summer begins for your family. There are several factors to consider when planning the summer for your child – for example, the age of your student,

24-Hour Daycare pending upon the interests of your student, try to select one that offers enrichment or skill development like drama, art, music, a particular sport or even a special academic program. Before making any final decision about enrolling your student in an academic program or camp, make sure you have gathered all relevant information and set time aside to meet all deadlines for registrations and requested forms. Another suggestion that is geared toward middle- and high-school students includes a visit to a college while on vacation. For example, plan a trip that is near a college or an institution that provides a postsecondary program like a vocational school. This will begin to plant the seeds for life after high school graduation. This may take

Research suggests that math and spelling are the skills most often lost over the summer.

the cost of the activity, the number of days involved, family vacation time, day or sleep-away camps, summer school, special interest camps like drama, downtime and athletic camps. When selecting activities designed for your student, it is important to solicit their feedback if you want your student to enjoy the activities and gain a positive learning experience. If summer school is necessary, knowing your student’s needs and matching them with the appropriate program will help address weaknesses while enriching areas of strength. Research suggests that math and spelling are the skills most often lost over the summer. When considering a camp (day or sleepaway), be certain that your student is emotionally ready for that experience. De-

some extra preparation on the part of both parents and students to fully benefit from the experience. Summer is also a good time to plan for all medical visits and the impending immunizations that are needed from time to time as students begin a new school year. Do not wait for the end of summer to take care of these tasks. Plan them with your summer schedule to make summer more enjoyable for everyone. Remember, too, that if your student plans to attend a camp that requires a physical, this may be the perfect time to get caught up on the immunizations. After making a draft of your summer calendar, sit down with all family members and discuss your ideas. Make any essential adjustments. I bet this becomes an opportunity for excitement that the students will look forward to in anticipation of the summer. ✪

GET NSIDE WITH US!

LET US SHOW YOU THE

EFFECTIVE WAY TO PROMOTE

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Charles J. Karulak, Ed.D., is the headmaster at the Winston School San Antonio. For more information, visit the Winston School online at www.winston-sa.org.

Scan QR Code to GETNSIDE nfamily magazine 27

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cover story

The

Chemistry of Commitment ● ● ● ●

28 nfamily magazine

by Jody joseph marmel | photography by michael giordano nfamily magazine 29

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With love, laughter and perseverance,

the Cox family has formed excellent core values, a close familial bond and a desire to help others. Read on to learn why Joe, Eydee and their three exceptional children serve as an inspiration. There are unexplained forces in nature that we try to define. Most often in our quest, there are more questions as a result. Yet somehow, there are people we meet who have the answers we are searching for. This is where Joe and Eydee Cox enter, and by sharing their story with unadulterated honesty, they unlock the mysteries of the dynamics that create the family unit. Entering their home with warm embraces, you know there are lessons to be learned from this family that you will never forget. Joe and Eydee have a strong bond; the love and friendship are both solid and familiar to them. Having known each other since they were sophomores in high school, they share a history of growing up together as individuals and as a couple. “We met at a volleyball game,” Eydee says. “Joey was there, watching another girl play volleyball, and as fate would have it, we sat next to each other in the bleachers and talked throughout the entire game. It was obvious that we both liked each other immediately.” Born and raised in San Antonio, Joe went to Central Catholic High School (CCHS), and Eydee attended Incarnate Word and ultimately graduated from Ursuline Academy. The distance between the schools did not matter. They found a way to continue seeing each other over the years. “We became parents first and were married a month later when we were 19,” Eydee says. “We grew up really fast. It was hard, but we held it together pretty well and as much as possible tried very hard to do it on our own.” “We did not want to burden anyone,”

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Joe adds. “Both of us were driven to be independent and responsible.” Knowing they were constantly being scrutinized as young parents, they were acutely aware of the judgment they were subjected to. “Despite all of the whispers and looks, we did our best to make Chris fit in and raise him in a good home.” Christopher was born in June 1991, and together, Joe and Eydee nurtured their baby boy with love and fostered only the highest of morals for their firstborn child. Brandon entered the world in 1997. Joe and Eydee were now experienced parents, and he was an additional joy to the Cox family. As they always wanted to have five children, Ariana was born in 2002. Another blessing: They had a baby girl. “They are all five-and-a-half years apart,” Eydee says. “We tried to have them closer, but God spaced them in that way for a reason and we are very blessed.” They both describe the family as intensely close to each other, very open and involved in literally every aspect of each other’s lives. “Having them was the best thing we have ever done,” Joe says. “We have always been committed to doing the best we could for them. As we tried to better ourselves and grow together, we had hopes that this would circle back to the children.” And in fact, this formula was successful. Delving deeper into the family values, both Eydee and Joe explain that, “we are like any normal family with hopes, dreams, imperfections and drama. But most importantly, with an unspoken knowledge, we are committed to one another in all respects. Humility and an uncompromising desire to remain grounded and genuine to the core are the foundations of our basic value system. “We also strongly feel that we were never and are never entitled to anything

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32 nfamily magazine

and try our best not to ask for much. Instead, we draw great pleasure from the blessings of having to work very hard for the things we have and for the type of legacy we would like to leave the children.” Joe became a licensed clinical laboratory scientist through his training in the Air Force and earned a meager, but comfortable living working in several different hospital laboratories for the first 12 years of their marriage. He ultimately graduated from Vermont College of Norwich University in 1999 and has since transitioned to the industry side of the medical diagnostic business. Currently, he is a technical sales rep for Thermo Scientific’s microbiology division. He is responsible for a territory that covers Southwest Texas from the panhandle to the Valley. He is a writer for numerous publications, and he has served as a managing editor and co-publisher. Aside from fatherhood, writing is his passion, and like most writers, he dreams of publishing a bestseller someday. Eydee’s presence in the community became well established when she opened her boutique, Cariños – by Eydee, in downtown San Antonio. Selling jewelry and other alluring accessories, her personality came alive with her motto: “Remember, you are already beautiful … we just accessorize you.” Her positive, inspirational, upbeat personality has always given her customers (many of whom are now her friends) an extra boost to their day. And her sensational selections are a fashion statement. Having recently made the decision after nine years of operating the boutique to a business model to accommodate primarily an online offering of her products and services, Eydee closed the doors to her boutique. But her brand is here to stay. Her private trunk shows and public events, as well as her e-commerce website and infamous Facebook page, will continue to flourish. “I have an overwhelming desire to give more of myself to my family, especially my 10-year-old daughter, Ariana,” Eydee says. “I plan on having a very successful online extension of my boutique and promise that the personal interaction is there for my customers, as well as me.” Never giving up is perhaps the fundamental tie that has kept the Cox family strong. From the very beginning of their relationship to the present day, Joe and Eydee believe this commitment to each other, to their children, to their friends and to their customers is a key ingredient in the success of their marriage and their family. At one point, though, Joe and Eydee knew they had to leave San Antonio for a while. They needed to be away from familiar ground and wanted to work out their problems. This was in 2001, when the four of them headed out to Colorado to start a new life.

“The move was a conscious decision we made to put some extremely difficult times in our rear-view mirror. We needed a major change of scenery in order to finally gel as our own family nucleus. We were on our own and had nowhere to run. We had to rely on each other being so far away from everything familiar. It wound up being a profound shift in our marriage and family dynamics.” “That was a phase in my life when I happened to be heavily into mountain biking,” Joe adds. “Colorado seemed like the best place to go. It was a change in scenery, a change in weather and a change in our lives. While it may seem like it was a

Never giving up is perhaps the fundamental tie that has kept the Cox family strong. whimsical decision, it proved to be one of the most profound decisions Edyee and I have ever made. We had time to work on ourselves and our children. It was a great time; we fell in love all over again.” Having the foresight and courage to pick up and move is not a common path for couples. But due to the innate commitment Joe and Eydee had to each other, their actions spoke louder than words. In order to get back what they had once shared, they left their safe haven to save themselves and their children from the “other” path many couples take when they lose parts of what they once had. Joe and Edyee chose the road “the one less traveled by” and proved that there are other options. In their case, the happily ever after became a reality once again. “This was when 9-11 happened,” Joe says. “Chris was in fifth grade. He was always an early riser, and he was up ironing his shirt and watching CNN, as was his habit. Being the news fanatic that he was and still is, Chris saw what was unfolding and came into our room. I remember him saying, ‘I think you guys need to see this.’ The shock of 9-11 felt like the world was coming to an end, and that made us very homesick. To add to all of this, we were shocked shortly after by the sudden death of a favorite aunt. “We realized that we were far from home. Since we still owned our house in San Antonio but were renting it out, we waited until the lease was up and moved back. We were in Colorado for a year, and it really was the best move we have made for all of us.” Ariana was conceived in Colorado – another blessing that was bestowed upon the Cox family. Home sweet home was back in San Antonio in April 2002. With renewed visions, there were still some rough times ahead. After Ariana was born,

there were now three Cox children to attend to. Eydee began her business soon after so she could contribute to tuition and some of the extra things the family might have wanted. Chris was following in his father’s footsteps. He attended CCHS, and both parents helped pay the way. Eydee vividly recalls the day, a few years later, that she received a text from Joe. “I could not really understand the depths of what he was saying, but I knew we hit bottom. He was working as an account business manager for another major diagnostic company and got a call indicating ‘they want me to turn in my computer, car and so on.’ I was downtown, walking back to the boutique. Joey came there to look for me, and we met crossing the street. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. This was when our economy was at a low point. I asked him what had happened. He told me that he lost his job.” From that day on, Joe never sulked; instead, he got up the very next day and reported for work helping Eydee at the boutique until he could figure something out fulltime. “I never wanted the children to know,” Joe says. “I certainly did not want to scare them.” Now the pressure was on full blast. “Joey was still out of a job for one year, and Chris was graduating CCHS,” Eydee says. “It was a frightening time for us. They called us from the school and told us to get a loan. With little income, a loan was not even possible. In the meantime, CCHS called us in to talk with them. We imagined the worst. The president of CCHS talked to us. You can imagine how scared we were. Like I said, Chris was only a step away from graduating. “He told us how much we owed. It was impossible to raise at the time – we exhausted every avenue. He continued and expressed his concern, but added that he saw how much we had tried to

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34 nfamily magazine

raise the money. And then, he told us that they were going to take care of the balance. Relief, immense gratitude, blessed and grateful – that is what we felt.” Always generous by nature, this event gave Joe and Eydee a definitive desire and planted the seeds for a real plan to pay it forward. The spirit of Cariños – by Eydee transcends business in their philanthropic endeavors such as the annual Cariños – by Eydee Fiesta celebration and fundraiser. This year will be the seventh annual Fiesta party and the third year that all funds raised will go to a senior at CCHS facing a similar crisis. This is one of the ways the Cox family actively engages with their community and encourages paying it forward. It is their way of being eternally grateful for what was given to them. Last year, the Fiesta party brought in an amount that exceeded what the graduating senior needed. This year, the Fiesta party will take place in a designated area at CCHS. And so the spirit of giving back continues through their efforts, and others are blessed in return. “Whatever we have, we want to help.” Mission accomplished! “I always wanted so much for my family, and when I say ‘more,’ I mean material things that I now realize don’t mean a thing,” Eydee says. “Quality time, cherished memories, family and friends have truly become the most important factor in my life. I have a very supportive spouse, children and close-knit friends and loyal customers. I am not sure what I would do without their love, support and friendship.” “Eydee and our children have all showed me the importance of life, commitment, and I have learned how to grow as a person through them,” Joe says. “While I

always preached about humility, I later realized that there were still lessons to be learned about that and even about myself. Over time, I have learned to accept my faults and my shortcomings. We try to talk about our stuff openly – honestly. “Looking back, I always thought that generally being a good guy was good enough, and if there was ever a conflict, it must be someone else’s fault. That was not a good attitude for building a happy marriage and family. I’ve really tried to take more ownership if and when things went bad. When you boil it down, I feel the responsibility of setting a steady example is mine. “I hope the children have learned from our ever-evolving love-in-action approach to relationships. It is this openness that gives the children a very transparent view of us as parents – as people.” Humility is emphasized in the Cox household. “It is the kind of humility that one must not realize, lest it become false. It is being real. Faith is also another core value we share. I do not mean a holier-than-thou faith, but the kind of faith that acknowledges that we are all deeply flawed, have our shortcomings for sure, but we are ever hopeful that we are growing as individuals because of the trials we face under the safety of God’s wings.” It is a certainty that all of the members of this remarkable family are growing in their own ways. Chris will graduate from UTSA this year with a major in public administration and a minor in political science. He is currently a fellow with the Mexican American Legislative Caucus at the Texas Capitol in Austin, and he works for State Rep. Justin Rodriguez. Brandon is a sophomore at CCHS, and Ariana is attending the same elementary school that her brothers did. Described as a tight-knit community, it is a melting pot of sorts and provides an excellent education. While each of the children is unique, the one common trait emphasized is having a great

sense of humor. Laughter is the norm for the Cox family, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Chris is a born leader – very intelligent, focused and honest – and he can do anything he sets out to accomplish. Brandon is a talented, self-taught percussionist who is fun loving, patient, creative and gifted, and he hopes to pursue his love for music in the near future. Ariana loves to dance and is a born performer, athlete and fashionista – the type of

person you don’t forget meeting. As a matter of fact, the entire Cox crew consists of those types of people. Once you meet them, you want to be friends for life. Chris, a gentleman and a scholar, shares his thoughts on his family: “There are many different forms of love and blessings that God can place in our lives. Mine is my family. Every day, I think about the opportunities my parents have given my siblings and myself. There is an infinite amount of love and care our parents give each of us. Many families have this, but I truly cherish mine because I know where we have been, where we are and where we will go. “My parents have worked selflessly to provide for us. We are not rich in wealth, but rich in character. That is why I believe

so many people gravitate to my parents as an example of love, humility, compassion, friendship and parenthood. I see their wisdom and love in my brother and sister every time I look at them. I can only hope we grow up to be even a percentage of the individuals my parents are.” Joe and Eydee conclude: “We are not rich or famous, and we certainly are not perfect, but we are comfortable in our own skin these days, and you know … we just do the best we can.” It is obvious that their dreams have become a reality and the chemistry is not only alive and well, but definitely being passed on to their three amazing children. ✪

“

My parents have worked selflessly to provide for us. We are not rich in wealth, but rich in character.

”

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child development

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Take a Detour Three steps to neutralizing resistance in picky eaters and other people by Anna Migeon

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“B

leck! I’m not eating that!” your little darling says when she comes to the table and sees the dish of rutabagas you’ve lovingly prepared. You are determined to get some down her. So what next? Every child will refuse food at some point. But the parent’s response may mean the difference between normal eating and launching a war parents will never win. Have you noticed? Just about anybody’s natural response to pushing is resistance.

When your child refuses food, which of these is closest to your response? a) “You have to eat at least one bite.” b) “If you eat some, you can have some dessert.” c) “If you don’t eat it, no dessert!” d) “It’s good for you. You won’t grow up big and strong if you don’t eat it.”

Each of the usual responses pressures the child to put something in her mouth against her will. While you may get your child to eat this time, the cost could be even greater obstinacy next time. Pressing a child to eat against her will might also make the problem worse in other ways. According to Fraker, Fishbein, Cox and Walbert, authors of “Food Chain-ing: The Kid-Tested Solution for Stress-Free Mealtimes,” children who are problem feeders often suffer from an undiagnosed medical condition, oral motor skill nfamily magazine 37

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problem or sensory processing disorder. “If your child simply can’t eat because of a medical problem or sensory processing disorder, forcing him or her to try will only intensify the problem,” the authors caution. But what if you could get her to want to eat better on her own? What if doing less got you closer to your goal?

New response, better results

Robert Conklin Robert Conklin is the author of “How to Get People to Do Things: The Key to Persuading, Leading, Motivating, Selling, Supervising, Influencing and Guiding Others.”

Anna Migeon Anna Migeon blogs at “Sacred Appetite: Restoring Healthy & Harmonious Family Meals.” Her workshops for parents of picky eaters, “How to Shepherd Your Child’s Appetite,” help parents figure out if their child is a picky eater or problem feeder, and equip them with effective tools to raise children who happily eat healthy food and behave at the table. Her two collegeage children eat everything from tofu to cow tongue. She lives in San Antonio.

One option for breaking out of the power struggle with a picky eater comes from Robert Conklin, author of “How to Get People to Do Things: The Key to Persuading, Leading, Motivating, Selling, Supervising, Influencing and Guiding Others.” When you sense resistance, don’t challenge it, Conklin advises. Instead, take your antagonist on a detour. In his chapter, “How to Neutralize Resistance in Others,” Conklin tells about a conversation with his wife. He wants her to go somewhere with him that weekend. When she objects, instead of trying to talk her into it, he immediately drops the subject. Then he distracts her from her resistance. He starts by complimenting her on the dinner she just served, and continues by asking about the friend who gave her the recipe. After this relaxed conversation, he casually brings her back to the question. By then, she’s ready to do things his way. Conklin calls this technique “casual thought replacement.” Maybe his wife is more open to his request because he’s respected her choice. It’s not trickery or manipulation; it’s the gentlest of persuasion. The wise parent can use the same technique to interrupt the predictable pattern of pushing and resistance. Seeming to surrender the battle may get you closer to winning the war of picky eating.

The three-step detour at the table

❶ Calmly acknowledge the resistance.

The next time your child says he doesn’t want to eat something, neither take up the gauntlet nor ignore it. Instead say something like, “Oh, OK” or “I see.” It’s better not to force the child to defend his position. Let the resistance be. If unchallenged, he may well let go of it. If you try a direct assault to change your child’s mind, he may dig in and defend himself, even if he’s hungry. If eating is all up to him, you’ve got a 50 percent chance he’ll say yes. That percentage goes up correspondingly to how hungry he is. You may never get him to eat rutabagas. But by being willing to lose this battle, you may win the war.

❷ Change the subject.

Instead of reacting directly to the child’s re-

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38 nfamily magazine

sistance, bring up a subject your child is more interested in than rejecting rutabagas such as: “Did you tell dad about the fort you built this afternoon?” ● “I heard some interesting new neighbors are moving in down the street.” ● “How did dodge ball go today?” ● “The dog brought home a ‘surprise’ today.” ●

A quick exchange can be enough. An interesting discussion is a perfect replacement for conflict at the table. If this distraction continues by popular demand, all the better. Positive conversation makes for a happier mealtime for everyone. Who can digest a meal in the midst of a battle? This purposefully passive technique also hands parents something to do with themselves besides pressing the child to eat.

❸ Reintroduce the food.

When the time seems right, come back around to the rutabagas. You still don’t necessarily need to talk about it, though. Above all, be nonchalant. Act carefully like you don’t care whether he eats it or not and enjoy your own meal. Let everybody serve themselves, or not. Maybe ever so casually set the rutabagas down near him or pass the dish to him. Or while the conversation continues, try hovering a spoonful over his plate. Ask him only with your eyes if he wants some. Even if your picky eater doesn’t eat those rutabagas this time, he’ll be hungrier for the next meal, and you’ve started a new pattern. You’re one big step closer to winning the war. ✪

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child development

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Learning Curve Everything you need to know about scoliosis, a more common problem than you may think by Cedar Joiner

coliosis is a lateral (toward the side) curvature in the normally straight vertical line of the spine. When viewed from the side, the spine should show a mild roundness in the upper back and a degree of swayback (inward curvature) in the lower back. When a person with a normal spine is viewed from the front or back, the spine appears to be straight. When a person with scoliosis is viewed from the front or back, the spine appears to be curved. There are many causes and types of scoliosis, including: ● Congenital scoliosis – caused by a bone abnormality present at birth ● Neuromuscular scoliosis – a result of abnormal muscles or nerves frequently seen in people with spina bifida or cerebral palsy, or in those with various conditions that are accompanied by, or result in, paralysis ● Degenerative scoliosis – may result from traumatic (from an injury or illness) bone collapse, previous major back surgery or osteoporosis (thinning of the bones) ● Idiopathic scoliosis – the most common type of scoliosis. It has no specific identifiable cause, but there is strong evidence that idiopathic scoliosis is inherited.

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Idiopathic scoliosis is most commonly a condition of adolescence affecting those aged 10 through 16. Idiopathic scoliosis may progress during the “growth spurt” years, but usually will not progress during adulthood. Most often, scoliosis curves are detected on school screening exams, by a child’s doctor or by a parent. In children and teens, scoliosis typically does not cause symptoms and it is not obvious until the curve of the spine becomes moderate or severe. It may first become noticeable to a parent who observes that the child’s clothes do not fit right or that hems hang unevenly. The child’s spine may look crooked, or the ribs may stick out. Scoliosis usually does not cause pain in children or teens. If back pain is present with scoliosis, it may be due to

the curve in the spine causing stress and pressure on the spinal discs, nerves, muscles, ligaments or facet joints. Pain in a teen who has scoliosis may indicate another problem such as a bone or spinal tumor. If your child has pain associated with scoliosis, it is very important that he or she sees a doctor to determine the cause. The majority of adolescents with significant scoliosis with no known cause are usually observed at regular intervals. Once the diagnosis of scoliosis is made, a careful bone exam will be done and an X-ray will be taken to evaluate the magnitude of the curve.

Treatments for scoliosis include: ● Braces. Bracing is the usual treatment choice for adolescents who have a spinal curve between 25 and 40 de-

Scoliosis does not usually cause pain in children or teens. grees – particularly if their bones are still maturing and they have at least two years of growth remaining. ● Surgery. Those who have curves beyond 40 to 50 degrees are often considered for scoliosis surgery. The goal is to make sure the curve does not get worse, but surgery does not perfectly straighten the spine. Scoliosis surgery usually involves joining the vertebrae together permanently, which is called spinal fusion.

In young children, another technique that does not involve fusion may be used since fusion stops the growth of the fused part of the spine. In this case, a brace must always be worn after surgery.

Some signs to watch for: ● One shoulder may appear higher. ● One hip may appear higher than the other. ● The child’s head is not centered over his or her body. ● One shoulder blade may stick out more than the other. ● The ribs are higher on one side when the child bends forward from the waist. ● The waistline may appear flat on one side.

Facts About

Scoliosis: ● Approximately 2 to 3 percent of Americans at age 16 have scoliosis. ● Less than 0.1 percent has spinal curves measuring greater than 40 degrees, which is the point at which surgery becomes a consideration. ● Overall, girls are more likely to be affected than boys.

This article was provided by the Children’s Orthopaedic & Spine Center, located at 21 Spurs Lane, Ste. 245, San Antonio, Texas 78240.

special issues

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Swim Safety 101 Five tips for taking serious caution and ensuring a safe swim season for your family this year by Jesse Guerra

s spring break has now come and gone, this marks the start of swim season. Memorial Day officially kicks off the opening of thousands of pools across South Texas, and families and children race to the pools to beat the heat that comes with late spring and early summer. However, the pools, ponds, rivers and lakes all create an attraction for children who really can’t appreciate the danger that lurks below the water’s edge more often than not. As parents, our responsibilities go beyond just making sure our children know how to swim and that they are properly supervised around water. Drowning is the No. 1 cause of death for children under the age of 5. Proactive, safety-minded parents need to be familiar with the pool or body of water their children swim in. As guests of pools at apartment complexes, hotels, water parks and resorts, we expect that pool operators will maintain their pools in accordance with local, state and national pool safety guidelines. However, as we have seen in many sad drowning cases, diligent pool operators are very rare in the state of Texas. Many pool operators simply fail to hire proper pool techs and instead hire people who often lack the pool certifications and training necessary to maintain the pools open for public use in a safe and healthy manner. The Texas Department of State Health Services’ safety standards for pools and spas lay out numerous minimum requirements for class C or commercial pools as found in hotels, apartment complexes and resorts. Having litigated numerous pool drowning cases, I am never surprised at the testimony offered during the course of litigation where maintenance employees testify that they have no idea what the water clarity standard of a pool they maintain should be. The Texas laws make it clear that “you must be able to clearly see the drains and/or bottom in the deepest part of the pool.” If you cannot, you must close the

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42 nfamily magazine

Drowning is the No. 1 cause of death for children under the age of 5.

pool immediately. Additionally, the pool codes for Texas mandate certain equipment and safety device features be installed in certain pools essential for public safety. Here are a few tips to help ensure a safe swim season:

mers. If the depth exceeds 5 feet, some pools require a demarcation line/guard line or a float rope to separate the shallow end from the deep end. These safety devices act as secondary layers of protection in pools, should someone need help.

Swim Tip 1: Inspect the pool’s water clarity by walking to the deep section and observing whether or not the pool drains are clearly visible from the deck. If the drains are unclear and hard to see, do not allow your children to swim in that pool. Immediately alert the operators of that facility’s pool so they can close the pool until the water clarity issue is corrected. Do not judge a pool’s water clarity by whether or not you can see the steps in the shallow end of the pool or the demarcation line in the middle of the pool. You must be able to see the drains in the deep end. You must be able to see clearly so that children or swimmers who get into trouble in a pool can be seen and rescued promptly. If you cannot see a child at the bottom of the pool, you cannot rescue that child. Therefore, proper water clarity in pools is essential for the safety of swimmers. Do not allow your children to swim in pools with murky or cloudy water.

Swim Tip 4: Parents should have their own emergency action plan that outlines the rules for children on the day when and at the place where swimming will occur. Where will everyone be, and who will be watching whom? What do you do if they start to have trouble in the water, and what are the pool rules? Pool users should be mindful of pool rules at all times. Also, make sure to tell children not to play near pool drains or to put their hands or bodies on pool drains. Drains can cause serious harm and death if they are outdated or not functioning properly.

Swim Tip 2: Always keep a close eye on your children when they are in pools. Parental supervision is essential when children are swimming in pools. It’s recommended to stay within arm’s length of children if at all possible while they swim. Additionally, when supervising children in pools, parents should not use cell phones, read books or engage in activities poolside that take their attention from supervising children. Children can become distressed or submerged in seconds, and therefore, children have a better chance of survival if they are being properly supervised around the pool or body of water they are swimming in. Swim Tip 3: Make sure the pool is equipped with proper safety equipment. First and foremost, every commercial pool must have an emergency phone located within 200 feet of the pool. Secondly, pools should have ring buoys with throw ropes and a shepherd crook to help rescue swim-

Swim Tip 5: Watch the lifeguards and pool monitors if they are present to ensure they are doing their job. Lifeguards can often be found texting, flirting and messing around on the job instead of properly supervising the pool and watching their assigned pool zones. If you notice this behavior, report it to the management immediately. Lifeguards are often young, yet are trusted with life-anddeath matters around pools. Never assume the pool is safe from harm just because a lifeguard is present. The best parental supervision cannot always prevent tragedy. Pool owners must also do their job to properly hire, train and develop staff members who will make sure the pool is safe before the pool is opened. If a pool is not up to code, it is the pool operator’s responsibility to ensure that the pool is closed immediately until the non-compliant pool hazards are corrected. ✪

These are just a few tips on swimming safety. For more information regarding pools, feel free to contact swimming pool safety lawyer Jesse Guerra at jesse@jguerralawfirm.com or 210-3664529. Guerra is an aquatic litigation pioneer and a sought-after pool attorney nationwide regarding unsafe pools. He is passionate about water safety, and he believes all drownings are preventable. nfamily magazine 43

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therapy

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Go From Fear to Freedom Don’t let fear and worry rob your relationships, sabotage your success or kill your cash flow. by Chris Cannon

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44 nfamily magazine

e’ve all felt fear, worry, anxiety, frustration and loneliness at some point in our lives, if we’re honest. We felt this way based on opportunities we had and failed or opportunities we had and imagined failing. Either way, we chose those feelings because they couldn’t be accessed or experienced without our permission. However, when we choose fear or worry, we’re literally choosing the two greatest enemies of happiness, healthy living and internal healing. Why? Because these two undermine everything, including your self-esteem, your self-worth, your self-image and your selfconfidence. Our greatest assets – the thoughts in our mind – are also our biggest liabilities. We use our thoughts to build ourselves up or tear ourselves down, to heal our bodies or rapidly cause them to deteriorate and to prove that some people are great and honorable and some are downright inhumane and unredeemable. At times, we allow negative doubt to creep in by questioning truth. If 30 people told us we look nice, and then one person said something about our weight and that we look like 10 miles of bad road, who are we going to listen to? Why? The truth is, that’s their opinion – not a fact. It’s interesting how we allow our imagination to be overtaken and easily stimulated by negativity rather than being occupied by and appreciative of the 30 positive compliments we received. This natural focus on negativity actually causes us to magnify and empower fear so that it distracts or paralyzes us. If we look at situations for what they are, most of the fears we imagine never manifest, and the few that do turn out to have much less of an impact than we originally anticipated. Fear and worry are the mental poisons we consume every time we imagine

the worst, or at best, something less negative. Every day, people literally worry themselves sick and their mind produces physical evidence to further prove their beliefs. Careers and relationships are also things people kill because they imagine what hasn’t happened yet, they see conflicts that really aren’t there and/or they assume somebody like them could never do … The reality is that if there is still an opportunity, there is still time for that opportunity to be maximized. Based on past experience or programming, we’re conditioned to doubt and ask ourselves deadly “what if” questions. “What” and “if” aren’t harmful when they’re separate, but together, they have the power to destroy marriages, kill careers,

The most effective way to address fear and worry is to attack them with massive and immediate action. sabotage opportunities and haunt you for the rest of your life. A lot of people are limited by fears of humiliation, embarrassment, making mistakes and being criticized by others. These fears must be addressed because they affect daily life and have negative implications on generations that come after. Go all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Eve knew the truth, but fear caused her to lie and eat the very thing that took away the great life she once lived. Sometimes we’re like Eve: We

know we’re complete, equipped and have what it takes, but we lie to ourselves through continuous questioning that feeds our doubts and paralyzes our actions to achieve. Have you ever wanted to do something, but then talked yourself out of it? How did that make you feel? The worst thing to live with is regret because the price is too costly and you pay for it every time you think about it even years after the opportunity has passed. The most effective way to address fear and worry is to attack them with massive and immediate action. Action forces you to focus on the present task instead of the future fear. Action is the ultimate prescription to cure the disease of fear. Fear is a natural part of life, and it does possess certain benefits. However, it holds most people back from doing what they really want to do and experiencing the abundant life they deeply desire. Very few experience true freedom in life, and those who do have a self-image that’s extremely difficult to penetrate because the opinions of others are ineffective. As humans, none of us like to be criticized, but to go from fear to freedom, we must understand it’s a part of the achievement process and it’s needed to build our foundation to withstand negative pressure. To overcome negative pressure, you must anticipate it and not be surprised or discouraged by it, and you must respond to it as an obstacle to overcome rather than a defeat to be accepted. Always make your expectations greater than your temptations and remember: “The battle is not lost unless you accept defeat.” ✪

For additional information on overcoming challenges as parents and/or the latest in positive youth development, please visit www. fighting4youth.com. nfamily magazine 45

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therapy

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Celebrating Family First Local entrepreneurs balance work and family with the help of Entrepreneurs’ Organization San Antonio. by Erica Jones

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46 nfamily magazine

ntrepreneurs have a bad reputation when it comes to family life. According to an Inc. article, “Why So Many Entrepreneurs Get Divorced,” entrepreneurs’ families suffer from “financial strain, neglect, lack of communication and divergent goals.” Other professions can keep people away from their families with late nights and working weekends, but entrepreneurship adds another layer of

“

me told me that I couldn’t do it all and asking for help wasn’t a bad thing,” Schimke said. “I had a nanny to help me with the kids and a staff of great employees to help me with the business.” Phil Essex, owner of Essex Properties and father of three girls (Bailee, 17, Avery, 14, and Camryn, 12), found himself in a similar situation. “I am very fortunate that I have surrounded myself with great people in my company

other and share common experiences. “The organization is about seeing the well-rounded entrepreneur,” Essex said. “I have been able to experience and learn things to enrich my family life, as well as network with other like-minded entrepreneurs to help grow my business.” This year, EO San Antonio travels to Hyatt Lost Pines Resort in Cedar Creek, Texas, from June 14 through 16.

The organization is about seeing the well-rounded entrepreneur.”

anxiety, as the success of the business and the family both rest on the entrepreneurs’ shoulders. But some San Antonio entrepreneurs are working hard to have the best of both worlds, hoping to place the awards for world’s best dad/mom and fastest-growing company on their mantel. Iris Schimke, CEO and owner of Express Information Systems, is the mother of two boys: Luke, 23 and Sam, 13. She has been able to find a balance between mother and business owner, but it wasn’t always easy. “I remember working from home one day,” Schimke said. “I was on the phone, and my 3-year-old son wanted my attention. I told him that I was on the phone with a customer and he would have to wait a minute. He looked at me and said, ‘I want to be a customer.’ It was at that point that I knew I needed to refocus more of my attention to my family.” Since then, Schimke has made choices for her family and her business, knowing that she must say “yes” and “no” to both parties in equal proportions. “Someone much wiser than

who can handle just about anything I may have to delegate,” Essex said. “I make sure to allot time for all my kids’ activities and family time. I may work three 12-hour days in a row to be able to take off for family events or activities that are scheduled.” It’s this flexibility that puts entrepreneurs in a different category from typical 9-to-5 career parents. “I have the unique luxury of not worrying about vacation time,” Schimke said. “My kids learned from an early age about delegating time and the tightrope balance between mom and business woman. I was able to take off time to go to meet their teacher and then read proposals on a Saturday morning. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Both Essex and Schimke are members of Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO) San Antonio, a club of dedicated business owners who manage companies with at least $1 million in annual revenue. The organization spends time teaching others and learning how to grow business. One weekend a year, the organization hosts a family day where members bring their families to get to know each

Members and their families will spend time exploring the woods, canoeing and roasting marshmallows. In the past, the organization has taken private tours of SeaWorld San Antonio, even swimming with the whales, and ridden in helicopters at Don Strange Ranch over the Texas Hill Country. “My family talks about those trips to this day,” Essex said. “It’s a struggle sometimes, but I have grown to learn how to balance the two facets of my life.” ✪

Entrepreneurs’ Organization San Antonio is the local chapter of a global community that enriches members’ lives through dynamic peer-to-peer learning and once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Entrepreneurs’ Organization San Antonio is open to members of the local business community, and it enables entrepreneurs to learn and grow from each other through educational and networking events, leading to greater business success and an enriched personal life. For more information, visit www.eosanantonio.com. nfamily magazine 47

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faith

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48 nfamily magazine

How Much is Enough?

Have you been blessed with more than enough? If so, discover the joy in your purpose to serve as the solution for those with less than enough. by danyelle daniel

was visiting dear friends recently, and a speaker caught my attention when he asked this question: “How much is enough?” He went on to describe what people really need materially in order to survive and thrive, and I came to a conclusion I already knew. The truth is, I am rich. I have enough – more than enough. And you probably do, too. Specifically, if you have the education to read this magazine and spare money in your pocket to sip a frappuccino while you read it, you are richer than the majority of people on the entire planet. Let that sink in. Do you have more than one change of clothing, food in the pantry for tomorrow, clean water and the ability to lock your door at night? Then you have more than enough – more than the daily portion needed or experienced by most human beings on Earth. So what are we doing with the “more than enough” that we have? The speaker I heard shared some myths about having more than enough, and I found it uncomfortable to hear them. Try these on for size: Myth: I earned it without help. Professionally, I have worked very hard – very hard – over the last seven years, and you probably have, too. But there are people in this world who have worked just as hard or even harder, yet have not seen the same level of financial prosperity. Who gave you your intelligence and

abilities? In the book of James, it says that every good gift comes from above. What you have is a gift. If you’ve been given more than enough, ask yourself, “Why?” Myth: God only wants me to be comfortable and happy. A whole lot of folks espouse this idea today, but the formula that “God’s best equals comfort and bliss” is not backed by scripture. In fact, the central figure of all scripture provided the ultimate example by trading the riches and comforts of heaven for a life of sacrifice – even death on a cross out of love for you and me. There is a profound reason for financial prosperity, and it is not so that you can accumulate more for yourself. Myth: I can spend it however I please. “To whom much is given, much will be required.” One day, we will all give an account for how we used our resources. That’s an unsettling thought, but there is something very exciting about it, as well. You see, if you are in the top percentile of those with more than enough, you and your resources are the solution for those with less than enough. You have a purpose! You were made to make a difference, and you have been materially gifted and strategically placed to serve as the solution to so much poverty, desperation, hopelessness, illiteracy, hunger, crisis, loneliness and sorrow in our world. »

You are a millionaire

compared to those living on a few dollars a day. nfamily magazine 49

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You have the power to prevent untold suffering without significantly changing your lifestyle.

Don’t misunderstand me. I do not believe redistribution of wealth is the role of any government. Charity must come from the heart. It cannot and should not be forced upon people through taxation. The late Dr. Adrian Rogers said, “you cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.” It is the duty and privilege of those of us who love others to willingly and sacrificially give, and for the most part, we have failed. Part of the reason for our failure is that we have come to believe the aforementioned myths and many others like them, and because we are insulated by being around others who have comparatively the same or even more wealth than we do. However, today can be a new day. We can take this incredible gift of “more than enough” and ask “why?” and “what?” What can I do to meet the necessities of those with “less than enough”? ● ● ● ●

50 nfamily magazine

Facts About

World Poverty ● Almost half of the world (more than three billion people) lives on less than $2.50 a day. ● At least 80 percent of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. ● If your family income is $50,000 or more a year for a family of four, you are wealthier than 90 percent of the world. Source: http://www.globalissues.org/ article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

My doctor friend warned me, “Danyelle, giving cannot be haphazard. Throwing money at the world’s problems is not the answer.” She is right. We must be intentional and wise. For me, that means that in addition to tithing 10 percent, I must take the time to research those great organizations, ministries and groups that have a track record of measured success, efficiency and financial accountability in assisting the needy, and then I must seed into their work. This is the kind of life that is worth living! If you have been given more than enough, understand your position and take heart. You will never again have to wonder if you have purpose. You are a millionaire compared to those living on a few dollars a day, and you have the power to prevent untold suffering without significantly changing your lifestyle. ✪

For an online calculator that shows you where you fall in the world’s percentage of wealth, please visit http://www. givingwhatwecan.org/why-give/howrich-am-i.

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faith

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The Imperishable Wreath Competing for God’s glory and learning the difference between winners and champions by Manny Martinez

“C

amron, why are you so nervous?” He had just finished playing the first hole in his fourth tournament of the year. He won the first three, but now he was so nervous he could not hit a straight shot. “I don’t know, coach. I am just so scared.” Working as his caddie that day, I knew that God wanted to teach Camron to trust Him. I also knew that winning the first three tournaments was probably not in his best interest. It set him up with unrealistic expectations and wrong motivations. This made him nervous – really nervous. How was he going to feel about himself if he did not win? What would his friends, family and others think if he lost? All of these thoughts were flooding his mind. He was so stressed out he could hardly hold onto the club or concentrate. Hey, we have all been there. I knew what Camron was going through. I have been through it myself many times. Just consider the conflicting ideas we have heard all our lives: Leo Durocher, baseball manager, said, “Nice guys finish last.” But Jesus said, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all” (Mark 9:35). George Allen, pro-football coach, said, “The pursuit of victory is my religion.” But Jesus said, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33).

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52 nfamily magazine

Vince Lombardi said, “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” But God said the most important thing is to “do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). Our contemporary culture cheers us on to self-advancement and competitive victories. But Paul said, “Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility, count others better than yourself” (Philippians 2:3). Poor Camron. The harder he tried, the worse he got. On the second hole, he hit a ball in the water, and then when he got on the green, he four putted. His head was hanging

down, and he said, “Coach, I am not going to win.” He looked tense and uncomfortable. Time seemed to stand still at that moment. I asked him, “Camron, who are you playing for?” He knew what I was getting at. We had discussed the difference between a winner and a champion the week before. A winner lives by his wins. His self-esteem is based upon his winning or losing. He lives and plays for the end payoff: the win. If he wins, he feels good about himself. If he loses, well, that is another matter. A champion, on the other hand, is motivated by higher

“Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we are imperishable.” – 1 Corinthians 9:25 nfamily magazine 53

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values. He is after God’s heart. He is concerned about pleasing and honoring God. This motivation frees him from external pressures and enables him to compete with faith, not fear. “Camron, do you want to compete with faith or fear?” Camron looked at me as sincerely as any boy I have ever coached. “Coach, I want to play for God, and I want to honor him.” Right then and there, Camron made a willful choice to go in a different direction. At that very instant, and not a moment before, his nervousness left him. On his next shot, he went through his pre-shot routine the way his grandpa had taught him. Then he made a very smooth swing and powered his drive down the center of the fairway. He instantly sensed the difference. Smiling, he said, “I glorified God.” “Yes, Camron, you did.” I tell you, it sent chills down my spine. Camron went on to birdie that hole. Camron did not win the tournament – he came in second. But I believe he did win an imperishable wreath. I was proud of him, his family was proud of him and most importantly, the Lord was pleased with him. In a small town golf course in Southwest Texas, a 12-year-old boy made a hard choice in the midst of a tournament, with conflicting voices, to please God. That was an eternal moment. ✪

Manny Martinez works for Alamo City Golf Trail. For more information, contact him at 210-885-7825 or mannymartinez@pga.com.

About Manny Martinez Manny Martinez learned to play golf in Puerto Rico while caddying for military officers. He played multiple sports in high school, and was All Conference in basketball and soccer in college, but his main love is golf! After winning three club championships and competing in numerous tournaments, he entered into the PGA. Martinez remains an avid student of the game, loves to coach and compete and, as one of the few Class “A” PGA members with a master’s degree in education, he’s particularly adept at teaching. Martinez speaks at schools, associations and civic functions. He loves to use the gift the good Lord gave him, and he has a passion for seeing students get better while making life-changing discoveries.

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faith

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Distracted

Parenting Turning high-stress into full-focus by Bre’anna Emmitt

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have a little confession to make, and I hope you won’t judge me. Can you promise me that? OK, here it goes: I can be a really crummy mom. I can be snippy, demanding and mentally absent to the three little people I love most on this earth. The other day, I had one of these experiences. Afterward, I paused and reflected on exactly what triggered my bad-mom moment. The truth is, I didn’t have to think very hard for the answer to quickly appear in my mind: stress. I realized in that moment that

People cannot drive well while their mind is focused on something else. And when it comes to having kids, “distracted parenting” is no different. When our thoughts are fixed on other things while we are with our kids, it is just as impossible to be a great parent as it is to be a great driver while texting. I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not want my kids to one day think back to their childhood and remember me as being physically present, yet mentally absent. So what can we do about it? To be honest with you, I think the very solution may lie in the exact advice we often give our kids:

is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13, NLT). When I think about the legacy I want to leave for my children, that is exactly what I want them to have forever: love. I don’t want them to remember how much I accomplished, how clean my house was or how vibrant my social life was; I want them to remember how much I loved them. I want them to remember that I was willing to turn off the mental distractions and put away the physical ones and truly focus on who they are and my relationship with them. You and I have the great honor and privilege of raising the generation of tomorrow. May we challenge

“Three things will last forever – faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these is love.” my mind could not focus simultaneously on my stressor-of-the-week and being a good mom to our kids. When I tried to do both, the result was a person who did not have the patience to be a good parent and kids who were needy because … let’s face it: Their needs of parental attention, support and fun were just not being met. Have you been there? Do you find yourself going through the parenting motions while your mind is in a completely different world? It’s like we are physically with our kids, but our thoughts are back at the office, still thinking about that tense conversation or worrying about that tough circumstance. In our multitasking society of high-tech, lightning-speed and ondemand, it seems that “distracted living” is just the way things work. Think about it: How often do we see people simultaneously making a phone call, texting, eating dinner and applying mascara – all while driving down the road? It is (thankfully) becoming increasingly illegal to be a “distracted driver,” and the reason is simple:

“Focus on what you’re doing!” we say as they toss their water all over the floor. “Pay attention, honey!” we shout across the room as they knock over the vase with their backpack. “Sweetie, you have got to stop thinking about everything else and just focus,” we counsel as they struggle through today’s math homework. It’s easy to notice our kids’ halfhearted focus, but when it comes to our own ability to pay attention … well, that can be easy to ignore, especially when the “task at hand” has had an attitude all day (… or month). In all honesty, I find myself best able to be a great parent when I put in the most effort. I know it sounds obvious and ridiculous, but it’s true. When I make myself put down the phone, close the laptop, put the car in park, turn off the stove, put away the work project and simply focus on my children, I find myself remembering what being a parent is all about: raising the kids we love. You have probably heard verse from the Bible that says, “Three things will last forever – faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these

the cultural norm of distracted living and simply focus on those growing children who need us so very much. ✪

Bre’anna Emmitt is a Christian, a wife, a mother of three and a freelance writer. You can usually find her each weekend ministering alongside her husband, Chris, at Community Bible Church. To read more parenting articles like this, along with recipes, marriage topics and more, go to www.sozowomen. com. You can also contact her via Facebook, Instagram or Twitter (@ breannaemmitt).

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Family Fitness Starts With You Parents, if you walk the walk and get engaged in play with your kids, you will burn calories while creating memories. by Maurice Harris hen I was a kid, playing outside with my friends was the thing to do. Chasing my friends around the yard, climbing trees and playing hide-and-seek filled my childhood days. Today, most kids’ idea of fun is sitting in front of the television and playing video games for hours. The idea of “play” has shifted drastically over the past few decades, and unsurprisingly, so has childhood obesity. The only way to fight this

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ongoing battle of sedentary children is to start from the top: Get parents involved in play. As parents, it is our job to be healthy role models for our kids. That means you have to walk the walk, literally. Engaging in physical activity sets a positive tone toward exercise. Plus, you’ll enjoy the health benefits associated with regular exercise. I’m sure many us of often look in the mirror and say, “How did I get here?” or “Where did that come from? I didn’t have that before!” And of course, we know the

truth: We’ve enjoyed too many afternoon snacks and late-night sweets and have not consistently exercised in quite a while. Add in kids, and your time to exercise is hard to come by. Trust me: I’m a dad, so I know! What better reason is there to get started on a regular exercise routine than to benefit the health of our kids? We know children learn by example, so as parents, we must let our children know that we enjoying exercising. We can teach our kids that exercising is the key to a healthy lifestyle. Regular exercise makes

you stronger and gives you more energy to be able to do the things you most enjoy. Any mom will tell you having children changed her body permanently – I hear it all the time in the gym. Most moms want to feel good in their clothes and confident in their own skin. But sometimes, motherhood changes the dynamics of the body. Moms are always stronger on one side of their bodies; I call that side their “baby holding side.” You may not even realize you have a preferred baby-carrying side, but if you do, you are unbalanced. This matters because when you are out of balance, you are much more prone to injury. Like a car in need of an alignment, proper strength and core training will correct your balance issues. Dads, you are not in college anymore. Guys, you know how we get as men – sometimes, we try to start working out at the point where we last stopped. As a former college football player, I am giving you permission to start working out again with light weights. No one is looking at you and thinking, ‘look at that wimp.’ Overuse is the No. 1 cause of injury. If you haven’t thrown a ball in 20 years, don’t try to perfect junior’s swing in one day. Start easy and work your way up. He’ll enjoy spending the additional time with you, and your throwing arm will thank you. As parents, we never really have time to exercise the way we once did. To help make exercise a regular part of your

you get to kick it up to double time. Even better, dads, you can get that carrier (you know, the one you said you would never wear because it made you look like a kangaroo?). When packing that extra weight, you are sure to burn more calories. If your kids are old enough to walk, take them to the park and walk as a family. Remember to have water with you so everyone can stay hydrated.

The wheels on the bike go round and round …

Before your kids are old enough to ride a bike, you have to do all the work. So make it fun by investing in a pulling attachment. This will give your kids a great view of the neighborhood while you get a muchneeded workout. Plus, when they are old enough to ride a bike, they will have a unique appreciation for the sport.

life, I’ve put together some ideas to get you and your family moving together. I promise you’ll have so much fun you’ll forget you are exercising.

Family dance party

Turn on the radio and dance. What kid doesn’t go crazy when music comes on? This could be a YouTube moment, so please have a camera in hand. You can also show this footage at their graduation or wedding. See: Exercise has lasting benefits!

Kickin’ it family style

Hang out in the backyard and kick the ball around. Bring out the soccer ball and let your kids run and kick. You’ll find yourself running just as much by keeping the ball in front of them.

Walking is not just for babies

We celebrate it as a milestone, but once you learn to walk, why stop? Or put that kid in the stroller and push! You can walk and jog to mix it up. If you have more than one kid,

Children learn by example, so as parents, we must let our children know that we enjoy exercising.

Other fun activities for the family

❚ Set up an obstacle course in the backyard for the kids to enjoy. ❚ Head to the park and take turns: one parent runs around the park while the other pushes the kid on the swing, then switch. ❚ Shoot some hoops, throw the Frisbee or show them your moves in a game of flag football.

Whatever you choose, do it together and you will create memories while burning calories. Once you find something you enjoy doing as a family, you will enjoy it much more together than you ever did alone. Your children will thank you … eventually. ✪

For more information, contact Maurice Harris – aka Coach Mo – at www.coachmofitness. com, info@coachmofitness.com or 512-342-9277. nfamily magazine 59

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Alyssa and Makayla’s circuit setup: ◗ Balance disc ◗ Hula-hoop ◗ Jump rope ◗ Dribble ball between cones ◗ Ab crunches ◗ Healthy snacks (water and celery, carrots, apple slices and H-E-Buddy low-fat cheese sticks)

Hooked on

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Thanks to the efforts of two young girls in the fight against childhood obesity, Chuck the Junk has evolved into FitnessFUNatics, a program dedicated to helping kids choose healthy and get hooked on fitness. by Suzanne Parker

hat will it take to get kids hooked on fitness: a social connection, camaraderie, fun and games and a yummy snack? These two young girls not only stepped beyond their years when they came up with the idea of Chuck the Junk, but also have realized they have a knack for understanding the human spirit. Alyssa and Makayla started a movement to inspire kids to join them in a kid-sized journey of epic proportions. They are not only inspiring, but leading the way, with their family’s support, in helping kids get hooked on fitness. Here is Alyssa’s note that launched Chuck the Junk:

LP! WE NEED YOUR HE My sister and I ared 8 and 9 years old, an we are committed to fighting childhood obesity, starting witht ourselves. We do no eat as healthy as we should, and we don’t as go outside to play ld. ou sh we as often is The result of that s. kid t igh we we are over this We want to change her ot for ourselves and . kids just like us When it comes to helping kids choose healthy, there is no doubt that keeping it simple and allowing them to have hands-on participation is key: · • Make healthy choices handy. If juicy fruit, cold water and low-fat cheese are made available, kids will surprise you – and gobble these healthy snacks up! • Encourage independence in food preparation. Little chefs are born in the kitchen. Not only does food preparation allow kids to get creative, but kids also will be more intrigued to try new flavors if they are allowed to experiment in a non-threatening environment. • Include all ages in the shopping process. Fitness means action! Entice play using movement and creativity. • Include music and rhythm play.

• Introduce a few props. Try a jump rope or a hula-hoop, or build an obstacle course with household items such as a box, a spare tire and some street chalk. Chuck the Junk has evolved into a new identity: FitnessFUNatics. With the support of many local businesses and organizations, including Gold’s Gym, H-E-B, a nearby karate school and many others, 20 kids are enrolled in the program. While weight loss is not the emphasis of the program, it is one of the desired outcomes. Parents are encouraged to check their child’s weight once a month. Since the program started a few months ago, Makayla has lost about 12 pounds and Alyssa has lost about eight pounds. The children have a weekly nutrition discussion and a planned grocery store tour with the

registered dietitian from H-E-B to learn more about shopping healthy and how easy it is to cook and eat more from home. Dawn Guerrero, the girls’ grandmother, is a huge supporter of the program. “One of the most amazing things is to see these kids becoming athletes,” she says. “They can run farther, play harder and last longer than they could when we first started.” ✪

The group meets three to four times a week Monday, Wednesday and Thursday and some Saturdays. If anyone is interested in joining FitnessFUNatics or wants to start a chapter in their neighborhood, please contact Dawn Guerrero at fitnessfunatics2013@ yahoo.com or call 210-887-7858 and ask for her. nfamily magazine 61

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The Dream Lives On From humble beginnings in Nebraska to one of the nation’s largest child and family service organizations, Boys Town continues Fr. Edward J. Flanagan’s dream of changing the way America cares for children, families and communities. by Terry Hyland

n 1917, a young immigrant priest from Ireland had grown discouraged in his work with transient, homeless men in Omaha, Neb. So in December 1917, Fr. Edward J. Flanagan borrowed $90 from a friend to rent a drafty downtown boardinghouse that would become his first home

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for boys who had no one to care for them. This revolutionary haven for wayward children welcomed all boys, regardless of their race or religion. Flanagan and his boys faced hard times. World War I was raging in Europe, and food and money were in short supply. There was no shortage of

boys, however, and by spring, 100 needy, delinquent or orphaned boys were living at the home. In 1921, again using borrowed money, Flanagan purchased Overlook Farm outside Omaha, which became the permanent site of his boys’ home, soon to be known as the Village of Boys Town.

Boys Town Texas offers services no one else has, mainly because of its unique integrated continuum of care.

While the home continued to struggle financially, the lives of Flanagan’s boys were rich with success. News of Flanagan’s work spread worldwide with the success of the 1938 movie, “Boys Town,” starring Mickey Rooney and Spencer Tracy. Tracy won an Academy Award for his portrayal of Flanagan and later donated his Oscar to the priest. The movie also boosted public awareness and financial support of Boys Town, and more boys were able to begin building a foundation for life as productive adults. After World War II, President Truman called on Flanagan to take his message of love for children to the world. Flanagan’s travels took him to Asia, where he saw the destruction of the war and the children left behind. He also visited Ireland, worked in support of establishing the na-

tion of Israel and met with the leaders of our nation and other nations throughout the world. His final trip took him to Europe in 1948. By this time, the stress of extended travel had taken its toll. While in Berlin for a series of conferences on the plight of children orphaned by the war, Flanagan suffered a heart attack and died. His body was returned to the United States and entombed at his beloved Village of Boys Town, where he began his revolution in childcare. Over the years, under the guidance of Flanagan’s successors, Boys Town continued to grow and develop programs that could meet the changing needs of America’s children and families. In the 1970s, the home adapted a residential program that replaced dormitories nfamily magazine 63

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››››› TO YOURS! From our family

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The Boys Town Mission

dren who need with family-style a safe place to residences. The Changing the way America live. first girls were cares for children, families Children admitted in also receive 1979, and in and communities by foster care in the 1980s and providing and promoting five family-style 1990s, a major an integrated continuum of homes at the 26national expancare that instills Boys Town acre Boys Town sion established Texas campus in Boys Town sites values to strengthen body, San Antonio. When around the country. mind and spirit. children can’t return to Boys Town Texas was their homes, foster parents one of those sites, opening may choose to adopt them, proin 1989 to serve children and viding a permanent, loving family. families in the San Antonio area through a In May, Boys Town Texas proudly celwide variety of programs. ebrates Foster Care Appreciation Month, As part of one of the country’s largest recognizing the many caring people in the child and family service organizations, San Antonio area who have given hurting Boys Town Texas offers services no one children a fresh start in a “forever family.” else has, mainly because of its unique From its humble beginnings on the integrated continuum of care. Every year, plains of Nebraska to its modern-day sites continuum services touch the lives of in San Antonio and many other cities, Boys 81,000 people in Texas. Town has continued Flanagan’s dream of They include in-home family services, changing the way America cares for chilcommunity support services, outpatient dren, families and communities. ✪ behavioral health services and Common Sense Parenting classes. The site also offers foster family services, where foster parents who are trained For more information on becoming a foster parent, please contact Boys Town Texas at and supported by Boys Town Texas open www.boystown.org/texas or 210-271-1010. up their homes in the community to chil-

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nonprofit

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Following Footprints

How my family honors my late father by following in his footsteps through a life of giving by Lori Tips

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y father was a giving person. He was well-known in our neighborhood, and he relished helping others in need. I remember my family hosting children from St. PJ’s for weekend outings of ice cream and lunch. My father also donated his time and resources to his community and church. He never knew a stranger and waved at every passing car because he “might know them.” They were small acts of kindness, but they were noticed. My husband and I are trying to pass these traits on to our children. When my father passed away, we struggled with how best to honor his memory. We kept busy during the first year after his death by rescuing injured dogs from the local pound. We have fostered about 300 dogs since through SNIPSA. Hands-on service learning, right at home, worked for our family. Our volunteer service of helping dogs recover from injuries and find forever homes taught many valuable life lessons. Mainly, we learned to treat all of God’s creatures with respect and not to judge others. When we received an email and a phone message on March 19, 2010, from a neighbor about fostering a little girl injured in the Haitian earthquake, we consulted our children. The best answer was Rocky’s: “We can do it.” We answered the call for help and have never looked back. Four days later and after two home studies, fingerprinting, background checks and multiple interviews about why we were all willing to help, we drove to the airport to meet the plane coming from Haiti. Excitement and nervousness filled our hearts as we waited. So many people made it possible for their arrival, and every single person played an integral role in the miracle that was about to happen. On March 24, 2010, Naika and Bethlie both went in for their first surgeries and I sat in the waiting room anxious for updates. When the surgeon came out, his first question was how well I knew the girls. I replied that we had just met them and had not hurdled

the language barrier (the girls spoke Creole), but we were already attached. He then informed me he would work to save their lives from infection and then save their injured legs. I sat, numb, letting this sink in, but again, I felt the words of my kids: We can do this. I looked at the surgeon’s photos, nodded and told him we were in for the long haul. Then I sent out my first email looking for a village for support. We had not even told our friends and family that Naika was coming in, much less the news about the newly discovered seriousness of the injuries. The San Antonio community came out in support of the girls. Along with Bethlie’s fosters, Nicole and Steve Spriester, Fred and I started rotating the times of visits so the girls had almost constant visitors while at the hospital. In 2010, the Tipses were a normal family. Quatro was a senior in high school visiting Costa Rica and about to leave for Berry College in Georgia, Natalie was a junior in high school about to embark on a year of fundraising for La Reina de la Flores 2011, Rocky was in the middle of baseball season wearing a full back brace for fractures and our foster dogs were two 100-pound Labrador brothers, one of

for two months) has changed her life forever and affected everyone who has met her. The little acts of Fred’s carrying Naika upstairs, Rocky pushing her wheelchair into school, Natalie being woken up by Naika’s smiling face, Quatro coming home for holidays and driving her around and my joy of having a family working together are immeasurable. Quatro is now studying emergency medicine at UTHSC, Rocky is a highschool sophomore playing lacrosse and football, Natalie is pre-med at Vanderbilt, Naika is an eighth-grade honor student speaking fluent English who wants to be a kindergarten teacher and we most recently fostered another huge Labrador undergoing heartworm treatment. All of our lives are blessed with our newfound friends and village that arose when Naika arrived. Natalie and I just ventured to Haiti with St. Luke’s rector David Read during March. Naika’s family traveled for three hours in traffic to meet and thank us. I told Naika’s mom we were glad to have helped and that we hoped their family knew how blessed we were to have them in our lives. The Tips family will return to the HCRM orphanage in Haiti in June 2013 to

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

– Hebrews 10:24

whom was blind. To say we were burning the candle at multiple ends doesn’t even explain how busy we were for the next two years with Naika in our lives. Those two years have left us with a deep sense of giving back and thanking God for our friends and support group daily. As Hebrews 10:24 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Children and friends can more easily follow our footprints than our demands. Our family’s response to foster Naika (the original request was

complete Rocky’s Eagle project building bunk beds for the children. St. Luke’s and St. David’s churches have a large mission group going, as well, to provide support at the orphanage and nearby village. My father was always very proud of my family, but I think we have followed his wonderful example of giving to others and honored his memory. In following in his footsteps while making footprints for our children and friends, we hope to accept opportunities to give for years to come. ✪ nfamily magazine 67

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Creating Lifelong Learners Set to open in 2015, the new San Antonio Children’s Museum will offer programs and exhibits to help meet the current educational needs of Alamo City youth and prepare them for the future. by Aaron Seaman

oday, the San Antonio Children’s Museum provides learning opportunities to more than 170,000 visitors each year. Over the last four years, the museum has grown exponentially, with a 49 percent increase in admissions. Its services have grown, as well, incorporating daily and weekly educational programs, community outreach initiatives, summer camps and parent resource offerings. As the San Antonio population continues to expand and increase in diversity, existing educational challenges will be magnified and the need for educational resources will increase. The museum’s existing space will not be able to meet the demand from the community – or to serve the region’s expected growth. The current ● ● ● ●

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location limits visitor accessibility and its historic building prohibits major renovation. New demands placed on children’s museums require the museum to expand and adapt its services. To meet the needs of San Antonio’s youth today and prepare them for the challenges of tomorrow, the San Antonio Children’s Museum must evolve. Increasingly, children’s museums are asked to play a variety of roles in the life of a child, the family and the community – filling a gap in school resources, supplementing a child’s learning and taking on a new leadership role in meeting the needs of 21st-century learners. Many families in San Antonio do not possess the resources or the knowledge to guide these learning opportunities for their children. The

demand for community-based educational resources in San Antonio is greater than ever. “As resources become more and more scarce, everybody’s looking to children’s museums to fill varying kinds of needs for children and families,” said Janet Rice Elman, executive director of the Association of Children’s Museums. “These are places where families can learn through play, from science to early literacy skills to parenting, in settings that are joyful.” Through its dynamic, interactive exhibits, engaging programs and strong collaborations with cultural and educational organizations and city school districts, the new museum will be better positioned to help children apply 21st-century skills (critical thinking, problem solving and creativity) to important cultural and edu-

The New San Antonio Children’s Museum Will:

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Foster early learning, literacy and numeracy to increase kinder-readiness among San Antonio’s youth

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Support and augment schools’ efforts to educate children

✔ cational concepts. The museum’s exhibits and educational programs will provide challenging opportunities for children to practice critical thinking and solve problems in interactive, enjoyable settings. Its open-ended experiences will foster children’s creativity. The museum’s outreach to city school districts and collaborators will strengthen the existing efforts and concepts being taught outside the museum. Together, the new museum’s exhibits and programs will ignite an educational spark and transform children into lifelong learners. “The new museum is going to allow us to become an even greater resource, and one that really closely aligns with the city’s priorities – specifically those outlined in SA2020,” said Vanessa Hurd, executive director of the San Antonio Children’s Museum. “We know that early-childhood education and literacy are critical for our children. SA2020 also talked about the importance of healthy families and the importance of arts and culture – three

areas in which the children’s museum is especially well aligned.” The new museum will be a gathering place for the families of San Antonio, connecting children from diverse communities and neighborhoods. Educators will look to the museum for professional development, and parents will seek its programming to help their children thrive as learners. It will be a place where new exhibits and programs ignite innovation and encourage creative thinking. The new museum will support focused research on early learning, literacy and numeracy. It will facilitate collaboration with community stakeholders and other educational resources, working in tandem with its partners to improve the educational future of San Antonio’s youth. ✪

The exhibits and programs at the museum will ignite innovation and encourage creative thinking.

For more information on the San Antonio Children’s Museum, visit www.sakids.org or call 210-212-4453.

Ensure broad participation from a wider range of San Antonio’s residents and provide a safe, secure and all-inclusive experience for parents

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Provide opportunities for children to demonstrate and develop their skills in critical thinking, problem solving and creativity

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Increase attendance of families limited by lack of financial resources

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Provide a place for educators to learn, experiment and develop professionally

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Serve as a cultural and educational resource for the San Antonio community to continue tradition and look ahead to the new century Scheduled to open in summer 2015, the new museum will be on Broadway in a corridor that already houses the San Antonio Museum of Art, the San Antonio Zoo, the San Antonio Botanical Garden and the Witte Museum.

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Advocating for the Arts Celebrating its 25th anniversary, the Las Casas Foundation continues to further its mission to preserve some of the Alamo City’s finest historic theatres. Special to NFamily

ong before the downtown San Antonio skyline looked the way it does now, a theatre house rose that unknowingly was destined to span the decades of time. A staggering $3 million and 11 months in 1928-29 rendered architect John Eberson’s Majestic Theatre – an anchor of San Antonio’s downtown establishments. ● ● ● ●

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The Spanish Baroque-influenced architecture accented by Greek and Roman motifs represents a village courtyard. Statuary and angels look down on the theatre from their perches high above. A rare white peacock perches on a balcony railing and doves are caught in mid-flight. Stars twinkle from above amid drifting clouds. Truly a masterpiece, the Majestic Theatre has rightfully earned its title as one of the finest atmospheric theatres ever constructed.

Since opening its doors, innumerable productions have graced the stage of the Majestic and left their indelible mark upon the walls of the hallowed halls beneath the theatre’s stage. With each playbill passed, the ghosts of creativity linger in anticipation of the next performance. Lithe bodies float across the stage as souls are stirred by mesmerizing notes that rise from gifted hands below. Each adulation and season that passes chips away at a once majestic splendor.

Established in 1988, the Foundation for Cultural Arts in San Antonio, also known as Las Casas, is dedicated to the preservation and restoration of the Majestic Theatre and the Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, and the development of the San Antonio Performing Arts Center. The San Antonio Performing Arts Center was officially dedicated on Sept. 11, 1989. Las Casas’ first commitment was to restore the Majestic Theatre as the cornerstone of the San Antonio Performing Arts Center. Through the tireless fundraising efforts of the founding chairperson and purveyor of the arts, Jocelyn L. Straus, the $4.5 million necessary to restore the theatre was raised, and in 11 short months, the restoration was complete. Under the watchful eye of Arts Center Enterprises, Inc. (ACE), the entire theatre, with the exception of the upper balcony and non-essential decorative plasterwork, was restored to its original appearance as accurately as possible, while making the theatre more technically up-to-date and more comfortable for audiences and performers. Architectural ornamentation was cleaned, repaired and repainted in the original vibrant colors; replicas were created as necessary. A new orchestra-level concession area with expanded restroom facilities was constructed adjoining the main lobby. A Broadway-quality production sound system, an acoustical shell and an electronic sound-enhancement system were installed. The basement area under the combined theatre complex was redesigned to create functional support facilities for both theatres; redesigning the basement created more than 20,000

2012

Las Casas Foundation Officers and Board of Directors • Jocelyn L. Straus, Founding Chairperson

Madison Tinder

1st Place Vocal Winner 2011

• Frank Z. Ruttenberg, Chairman • Kathryn L. Rhoads, President • Kevin Parman, Vice President • Jay Higginson, Treasurer • Valerie Samaniego Finch, Assistant Treasurer • Laura G. Richmond, Secretary • Mary Margaret Amberson • Nancy Avellar • Sunny Blumenthal • Clifton J. Bolner • Aliza Cantu • Bob W. Coleman • Eric Dupré • Melissa S. Fleming • Elaine Honigblum Kaufman • Lisa Koenig • John D. Likovich • Charline McCombs • David Nicolson • Peggy Penshorn • Judge Bonnie Reed • Barbara Richmond • Rollette Schreckenghost • Jill Harrison Souter • Don Thomas • Linda G. Tillery • Chris Turner • Pat Wheeler • V. T. “Skip” Wood

Nick Fearon

1st Place Dance & Overall Winner 2011

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square feet of usable space. ACE has an impressive record of restoring entertainment venues and rejuvenating theatres throughout the United States, and it is currently the management company under which the Majestic and Charline McCombs Empire Theatres operate. For the fifth consecutive year, the Las Casas Foundation has held the annual High School Scholarship for Excellence in the Performing Arts competition. The foundation’s performing arts scholarship program is designed to award financial assistance to college-bound highschool seniors based on their interests and abilities in the performing arts. The scholarship program is open to citizens and naturalized citizens of the United States and resident Texas public, private high schools and home schools, to include San Antonio and the surrounding and expanded Texas regions. Consisting of four scholarship categories (acting monologue, vocal solo, acting duet and dance solo), all categories are theatre- and musical theatre-based, including dance. Affording gifted students the opportunity to shine is something the directors of Las Casas are passionate about, and with more than $70,000 in scholarship monies available, the competition’s caliber of talent promises not to disappoint. ● ● ● ●

Las Casas’ first commitment was to restore the Majestic Theatre as the cornerstone of the San Antonio Performing Arts Center.

Edwin Bates

1st Place Vocal Winner 2012

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Nick Fearon

1st Place Dance & Overall Winner 2011

In celebration of the 25th anniversary of the Las Casas Foundation in San Antonio, Straus will receive a lifetime achievement award in recognition of her relentless fostering of the arts in our community and nationally. The award will be given on May 14 at the foundation’s gala featuring Il Divo in their first-ever appearance at the Majestic. Through continued fundraising and advocacy of the arts, Las Casas strives to continue its promotion of hidden talent waiting to be discovered, as well as to further the preservation of San Antonio’s finest historic theatres. ✪

For more information on the Las Casas Foundation, visit www.lascasasfoundation.org/ index.html or call 210-2234343. Note: Partial content for this article was provided by the Las Casas Foundation website.

Left side:

Kevin Parman, Lauren Lane Right side:

Joci Straus, Seth Fisher, Janice Goldberg, Phill George, Frank Ruttneberg Center:

Las Casas 2012 Scholarship Winners

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Family Fun for All Ultra-accessible theme park Morgan’s Wonderland switches to almost-daily seasonal operation this summer, providing more opportunities than ever for all-inclusive family fun. by Bob McCullough

organ’s Wonderland – the world’s first ultra-accessible theme park specifically designed with special-needs individuals of all ages in mind, but built for everyone to enjoy – welcomes the summer months on June 4 with almost-daily operation through Aug. 18. The unique and colorful park will be open daily except for Mondays in June, July and August, as well as Friday, June 14, for a special event. “Morgan’s Wonderland continues to generate incredibly positive feedback from those with and without

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physical or cognitive challenges,” said philanthropist Gordon Hartman, CEO of the Gordon Hartman Family Foundation. “It’s been truly gratifying to welcome more than 300,000 guests from all 50 states and 36 other countries in just three years of operation.” Encompassing 25 acres in North East San Antonio, nonprofit Morgan’s Wonderland is completely wheelchair accessible. It offers a variety of attractions, including rides and playgrounds. Admission for those with special needs is free, and admission fees for accompanying family members, friends, caregivers and

the general public are nominal. “Morgan’s Wonderland is a special place where anyone can have fun,” Hartman said, “but it was created with specialneeds individuals in mind. We’ve taken an abandoned rock quarry and transformed it into an outdoor recreation oasis. Unfortunately, countless children and adults with special needs do not have access to facilities that can help them fully enjoy outdoor recreation. We sincerely believe Morgan’s Wonderland is changing that.” To provide Morgan’s Wonderland with a steady revenue stream for expansion of programs and services, Hartman secured a North American Soccer League team – the San Antonio Scorpions FC – that has an 8,000-seat new home: Toyota Field. All Scorpions and Toyota Field net profits have been earmarked for Morgan’s Wonderland. This is the first time a professional sports team has been organized to benefit the special-needs community, Hartman noted. More information is available at www. sascorpions.com. The inspiration for Morgan’s Wonderland came from Hartman’s 19-year-old daughter, Morgan. Her soaring spirit despite personal challenges sparked within Hartman a deep desire to create a haven not only for those with special needs, but also for their families, caregivers and invited friends. “Inclusion is the overarching objective for Morgan’s Wonderland,” he explained. “Our vision is to play a key role in helping establish more ultraaccessible family fun parks throughout the nation and the world. Already we’ve received expressions of interests from more than 20 cities globally.” Morgan’s Wonderland opened March 3, 2010, and celebrated its grand opening April 10, 2010, with NBA legend David Robinson and

actress Eva Longoria as special guests. It features more than 25 elements and attractions, including rides, playgrounds, gardens, an eight-acre catchand-release fishing lake, an 18,000-square-foot specialevent center, a 575-seat amphitheater, a picnic area and rest areas throughout the park. Signature elements include rides that can accommodate guests in wheelchairs; the Sensory Village, a cluster of themed spaces such as an auto fix-it shop, grocery store and TV station that offer sensory stimulation through colors, lights, sounds and textures; and the Sand Circle play area, where even kids and adults in wheelchairs can scoop up sand and be part of the fun. In contrast, the nearby Garden Sanctuary offers a quiet retreat in the heart of the park, and its semicircular Memorial Wall is engraved with the names of loved ones with special needs who have passed away. Other park features include Braille signage, a 3-D park model, 18 restrooms to accommodate special-needs individuals, a first-aid station, snack outlets, vending machines and seven acres of free parking. The Picnic Place is available for those who wish to bring their own food to the park, and the special-event center and the pavilions can be reserved for birthday parties, family gatherings, fundraisers and other special events. Morgan’s Wonderland is part of a larger 106-acre area now known as “Wonderland, Texas.” In addition to Morgan’s Wonderland, Toyota Field and the San Antonio Scorpions, this destination for family fun features the STAR (South Texas Area Regional) Soccer Complex, which offers 13 lighted soccer fields for tournaments, league play and clinics, and the Monarch Academy, a school for students with special needs

“Morgan’s Wonderland is a special place where anyone can have fun.” that opened next to Morgan’s Wonderland in August 2011. Morgan’s Wonderland will shift back to primarily weekend operations in the fall months, and it will conclude 2013 with “A Wonderland Christmas” special entertainment on Friday and Saturday evenings in December. ✪

The theme park is located just west of IH-35 at the intersection of Wurzbach Parkway and Thousand Oaks Drive. For the latest information, visit www.morganswonderland. com. You may also contact Bob McCullough, APR, at 210-6373418 or bmccullough@morganswonderland.com. nfamily magazine 75

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Creativity Redefined

The San Antonio Museum of Art presents awardwinning masterpieces of contemporary art inspired by Islamic tradition. by Jody Joseph Marmel

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n loan from the Victoria & Albert Museum in London, the Jameel Prize Exhibition will be on display at the San Antonio Museum of Art (SAMA) from May 24 through Aug. 11, 2013. Known as “Art Inspired by the Islamic Tradition,” including art, craft and design, this dynamic exhibit features the 10 finalists from the 2011 competition. Opening in the newly renovated third-floor Focus Gallery of SAMA, they are delighted to have the opportunity to showcase these masterpieces of contemporary art. The methods and themes used by all 10 artists bring a new definition to creativity. A glimpse of some of the artists and their work follows. But words do not suffice; as we all know, art has its own language and speaks to each of us in a very personal and passionate way. Monir Shahroudy Farmanfarmaian is one of Iran’s most well-known artists (her work spans more than five decades) with a distinctive style of combining Iranian traditions of mirror mosaic and reverse glass painting techniques with modern beauty. She was born in Iran and she spent many years in America, but she currently lives in Tehran. Babak Golkar is showing a new work of art that is part of a series. Having lived in both the Middle East and Canada, Golkar often examines socio-cultural issues in his work. The worlds of modern and postmodern architecture meet with the traditions of nomadic society. Aisha Khalid, People’s Choice winner, is showing “Name, Class, Subject,” an artist book. The book draws on her experience as a child growing up in a society shaped by a bilingual culture. As she painted each of the 280 pages of the book, this is a must-see. She was born and lives and works in Pakistan. Rachid Koraïchi, winner, is showing a selection of embroidered cloth banners from a series entitled Les Maitres Invisibles (The Invisible Masters). Embroidered with symbols based on numerology and Sufi mysticism, “the work aims to show that the world of Islam, in contrast to contemporary perceptions of crisis and violence, has another side entirely, evident in the tolerant and sophisticated writings of great Muslim thinkers and poets such as Rumi and El Arabi.” Born in Algeria, Koraïchi lives and works between Tunisia and France. Houston-based artist Soody Sharifi is

3 exhibiting two digital collages that explore “the accommodation of modernity within a traditional society, particularly referencing Muslim youth culture in Iran and the United States.” She was born in Iran and lives in the Lone Star State. She will be visiting SAMA on July 9 to engage in an artist conversation with David S. Rubin, curator of contemporary art for the Brown Foundation. “This wonderful exhibition reveals the diversity and complexity of contemporary Islamic art,” Rubin says. “Although steeped in Islamic tradition, the art on view is cutting-edge and covers a broad range of social and political topics. We feel it is important to bring this exhibition to San Antonio, since we rarely, if ever, have had an opportunity to learn about contemporary art from the Islamic World. I truly believe this exhibition will be an eyeopener for everyone who sees it.”

1. Fashion Week, 2010 Soody Sharifi Digital Collage 101.6 x 152.4 cm Photo courtesy of LTMH Gallery

2. Les Maitres Invisibles (The Invisible Masters), 2008 Rachid Koraichi Cotton Applique, 348 x 200 cm Photo by Jonathan Greet Photo courtesy of October Gallery

3. Kashmiri Shawl, 2011 Aisha Khalid Pashmina Scarf and GoldPlated Steel Pins, Com-

Inaugurated in 2009, the Jameel Prize is an international art prize for contemporary artists and designers inspired by Islamic traditions. Launched by the Victoria & Albert Museum, the purpose is to explore the cultural dialogue between the Islamic artistic tradition and contemporary practice, and to contribute to a broader debate about Islamic culture. The prize is awarded every two years and is currently at Stanford University in California, having been in Paris and Madrid. Our city has the honor of showcasing wondrous art that deserves detailed exploration before it makes its journey back to London. ✪

For more information, contact the San Antonio Museum of Art at 210-978-8100 or www.samuseum.org.

missioned by Sharjah Art Foundation Photograph by Alfredo Rubio

4. Negotiating the Space for Possible Coexistences No. 5, 2011 Babak Golkar Persian Carpet, Wood, Paint and Plexiglas Photo courtesy of V&A Images

5. Birds of Paradise, 2008 Monir Shahroudy Farmanfarmaian Mirror Mosaic and Reverse Glass Painting, 180 x 129 cm (each) Photo courtesy of Rose Issa Projects

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Rodman Bolek and Kari Anne Randol fill the characters of Hal Carter and Madge Owens with tentative sensuality in William Inge’s Picnic, showing May 3 to 26, 2013. Photography by Dwayne Green.

Gearing Up for a Grand Finale Spring is in the air at the Playhouse and summer’s not far behind, with an exciting lineup of excellent works and educational camps brought to you by San Antonio’s oldest producing theater. by Casey Weed and Laura Michelle Wolfe

chool may be winding down, but the Playhouse is gearing up for a grand finale to its 100th season, riding hot on the heels of such frenetic works as John Logan’s Red and the world premier of the musical, Roads Courageous, by locals Thomas Nyman and Kevin Parman. Both shows received stellar reviews and great word-of-mouth, bringing new patrons through the Playhouse’s doors and introducing many San Antonio residents to the power of theater. May brings Picnic to the Cellar Theater and Spring Awakening to the Russell Hill ● ● ● ●

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Rogers Theater. Although the shows are wildly different in scope and structure, both will stir audiences with their stories of burgeoning desire for life and love, which are perfect themes for spring – a season of renewal and growth. Picnic is William Inge’s 1953 play that centers on the effect of a drifter’s presence on neighboring houses and each of the individuals residing within. The piece touches on several classic themes, including gender roles, beauty, youth and love. Although the show was written 60 years ago, it remains as touching and timeless as ever as it unfolds the tale of Hal, a free young spirit with a past that is sketchy at

best, who is hired on as a laborer for Mrs. Potts. While the neighborhood schoolmarms find Hal abrasive and offensive, the daughters of Mrs. Potts’ neighbor are drawn to his buoyant virility. They unearth a sensitivity and a lust for life that ultimately inspire them to take a chance on their own dreams, turning away from the paths that have already been plotted on their behalf. Directed by Tony Ciaravino and starring Rodman Bolek and Kari Anne Randol, Picnic opens May 3 and promises hunger, regret and a simple sensuality. Spring Awakening, a more progressive piece, utilizes rock music to express dizzy-

ing levels of joy and turmoil as a group of teens finds themselves ill prepared for the personal revolutions occurring in their bodies, minds and hearts in the repressive society of 1891 Germany. The show tackles subjects our society remains wary of such as curiosity, desire and the fine line between education and encouragement. Much like Picnic, the show’s original setting has come and gone, but the characters’ stories remain poignant and touching for today’s audiences. Director Shannon Ivey of Texas Lutheran University approaches Spring Awakening with a clear goal in mind: to tell the stories of each character with honesty, passion and love. Her vision fuses theater with technology – a classic story told in ultramodern fashion to speak to every generation of theatergoers. The cast endured the most rigorous audition process the Playhouse has seen and are guaranteed to bring each story to life with truth and ardor beginning on May 17. After all spring is promising, it’s hard to believe that summer is going to be just as exciting, but the Playhouse has the perfect cure for those summer slumps: a stellar lineup of youth and adult camps for all interests and experience levels. From weeklong production camps to single days of in-depth study, summer at the Playhouse is all about trying

new things. Students will have the opportunity to explore all aspects of theater, from acting and singing to costume design and carpentry. Some of the subjects to be covered in the one-day camps include improvisational acting and Shakespeare. Camps will run throughout most of summer break, giving students flexibility in choosing which camps to attend and allowing ample time for those fun family vacations. With several camps to choose from, the Playhouse has something for everyone. Closing out the 100th season at the Playhouse is Ragtime, a 1996 musical set in early 20th-century America. The show focuses on three families in New York, each from a different background and with separate visions of the American Dream. As the families’ lives intertwine throughout the years, the result is both conflict and change. Directed by Molly Cox, Ragtime centers on the tension stemming from fear of change and the struggle for a better life. Like Picnic and Spring Awakening, Ragtime presents timeless themes and the hope for a better tomorrow. ✪

For more information and to check out all that San Antonio’s oldest producing theater has to offer, visit www.theplayhousesa. org.

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“Is WordPress Right for Your Business?” WordPress is used to power nearly 58 million websites around the globe. Conventional wisdom has it that it is an easy-to-use, SEO friendly, all-in-one content management solution. But Boss Creative—a San Antonio web design and online marketing firm that has thrived since 2005—contests the popular “wisdom.”

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San Antonio Web Design Firm

Boss Creative Bucks Conventional SEO Wisdom boss Creative, a san antonio Web design and online marketing firm, shook up the marketing blogosphere with a blog post titled “is WordPress right for Your business?” the popular online marketing firm bucked the conventional wisdom that WordPress is a good fit for almost any business. WordPress is a popular web development platform that was released as blogging software in the spring of 2003. since that time, it has become the go-to content management system for both amateur web hobbyists and professional web development companies alike. both clients and developers like the software because of its almost infinite design templates, flexible functionality, robust support communities, and ease of use. the platform is so popular, in fact, that the official WordPress statistics site claims there are nearly 58 million websites being run on WordPress! but boss Creative says that the easiest route is not always the best. in fact, they say, the easiest route may not be as easy as many people think. “Unless you happen to be gifted in the areas of HtML code, Css, or PHP, (that’s development speak for “knowing how to program”), then using WordPress to create your business website will likely be more headache than help,” they state in their post.

in fact, they think that using WordPress can hinder a business’s lead generation and branding capabilities, saying that its one-size-fits-all nature leaves little to no branding flexibility when it comes to professional websites.

By: Boss Creative

it’s not that the firm hates WordPress. in fact, they claim to even use it for some of the sites that they develop for clients. the company’s main objection is simply that it is not a “magic bullet” when it comes to online marketing, branding, and search engine optimization. “We here at boss utilize WordPress for a number of websites, but we do so in conjunction with a multitude of other solutions, such as online marketing and search engine optimization,” says the firm on its official blog. they implement these solutions “in addition to applying [their] expertise in business web development and other graphic design capabilities.” in other words, the san antonio web design firm doesn’t believe that WordPress is an adequate online marketing solution straight out of the box. What they advise business owners is to avoid looking at the platform as a quick-and-easy solution.

A bout Boss Creative Boss Creative has no small amount of knowledge about the field. Established in 2005, the firm has carried on a strong presence in the San Antonio market. It has successfully weathered the recession— even thriving—by way of advanced marketing techniques and frequent referrals. They have even won three advertising awards from the American Advertising Federation. To learn more about the San Antonio web design & online marketing firm, or simply get online marketing tips for your business contact them at: Contact Name & Title: Charles Pilkilton (Managing Partner) Contact Agency/Company: Boss Creative Address: 18402 U.S. HWY 281 N Suite 201 San Antonio, TX 78259 Contact Telephone: (210) 568-9677 Contact Email: hello@thisisboss.com Website: www.thisisboss.com

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Today the children of San Antonio just got better.

The new Children’s Hospital of San Antonio, Baylor College of Medicine and Texas Children’s Hospital have joined together. So our best and brightest can put our children first. Texas Children’s Hospital and its academic partner, Baylor College of Medicine, are recognized nationally and internationally for excellence in pediatric care, education and research and have been serving the children and families of Texas, including many from this community, for more than 55 years. These Texas-based, not-for-profit health care organizations will work together to provide world-class care in San Antonio, South Texas, and beyond. See how putting children first lasts a lifetime at ourchildrenwillbefirst.com.

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