FATHERS KNOW BEST

Fathers Know Best by Neal Allen D ads, lighten up. Yes, all dads project rejecting teenager, that the vexing notion their own fears and hopes on arises that another life could have been their children. If Dad dreamed of lived. This form of nostalgia—for what becoming a first baseman for the Yankees, never came—is bitter. The word “nostalhe’ll push Johnny into baseball, ignoring his gia”, after all, comes from the Greek for son’s preference for woodworking. If Dad “the pain of going home”. harbored hopes of being the next HemingBut by seeing himself project his way, he’ll praise Mary’s poetry, and maybe dreams on his children, a father can also skip a few of her tedious soccer games. see how he’s holding onto a suspect belief

Those are the facts, ma’am. Dads that another life would have been bethave a habit of imposing their own sucter. With maturity, a dad can revisit his cess goals on their kids. It’s not built into adolescent dreams; not nostalgically, but fatherhood to let kids willy-nilly develop with the wisdom that comes with age. Did their own talents and dreams. Does that I really have a chance at the Yankees? Be ruin the kids? Who knows? It happens in real. Weren’t there two guys in high school just about every family, so good luck findalone who had more talent? ing a control group for the experiment. Asking these questions, a father might

There may be no hope for the kids, even notice that no one in the family meabut how about the dads? What might hapsures his worth in worldly achievements. pen if they notice this odd behavior and A dad is best remembered in his capacity how might that lighten their own loads? for love, kindness, forgiveness, everyday

Most of us dads, most of the time, strength and friendliness. Your child may initially take on the responsibility of fatherknow you’re a master carpenter. But what hood—income, protection, education—with she remembers is that day when you gently drive and purpose. We make compromises showed her the right way to hold a hammer. with our pre-dad selves. The sports car gets traded in for a minivan. Playing guitar beNeal Allen is a spiritual coach and author comes a hobby, not a professional goal. We who shares seven children, step-children sign on at the warehouse. New dads around and grandchildren with his wife, writer the country are making these changes every Anne Lamott. His book on a new path to day, and mostly with alacrity. personal freedom will be released by Hiero

It’s later, when the perfect infant phant Publishers in spring 2021. For more becomes the complaining toddler or information, visit ShapesOfTruth.com.