OUTSTANDING FEATURES
A Focus on Doing SAD
The goal of this book is to enable students to do SAD—not just read about it, but understand the issues so that they can actually analyze and design systems. The book introduces each major technique, explains what it is, explains how to do it, presents an example, and provides Your Turn opportunities with each chapter for students to practice each new technique before they do it for real in a project. The Your Turn boxes are posted online at www. wiley.com/college/dennis. After reading each chapter, the student will be able to perform that step in the system development process.
Rich Examples of Success and Failure
This book has a running online case study (accessible from www.wiley.com/go/dennis/ casestudy) about a fictitious health care company called Patterson Superstore. Each chapter of the case study shows how the concepts are applied in situations at Patterson Superstore. In this way, the running case serves as a template that students can apply to their own work. Each chapter also includes numerous Concepts in Action boxes, which are posted online at www.wiley.com/college/dennis. These boxes describe how real companies succeeded—and failed—in performing the activities in the chapter. Many of these examples are drawn from our own experiences as systems analysts.
Real World Focus
The skills that students learn in a systems analysis and design course should mirror the work that they ultimately will do in real organizations. We have tried to make this book as “real” as possible by building extensively on our experience as professional systems analysts for organizations, such as Arthur Andersen, IBM, the U.S. Department of Defense, and the Australian Army. We have also worked with a diverse industry advisory board of IS professionals and consultants in developing the book and have incorporated their stories, feedback, and advice throughout. Many students who use this book will eventually use the skills on the job in a business environment, and we believe they will have a competitive edge in understanding what successful practitioners feel is relevant in the real world.
Project Approach
We have presented the topics in this book in the order in which an analyst encounters them in a typical project. Although the presentation is necessarily linear (because students have to learn concepts in the way in which they build on each other), we emphasize the iterative, complex nature of SAD as the book unfolds. The presentation of the material should align well with courses that encourage students to work on projects because it presents topics as students need to apply them.
WHAT’S NEW IN THIS EDITION
■ A completely new, expanded case study on an integrated health clinic delivery system has been written to accompany the fifth edition. The entire case study is posted online. At the end of each chapter in the text, a short synopsis of the case is provided.
■ The text has been streamlined to focus on the essentials and therefore, to enhance student understanding. Selected materials like the “Your Turn” and “Concepts in Action” boxes have been moved online and can be accessed at www.wiley.com/ college/dennis.
■ Throughout the book, there is a greater emphasis on verifying, validating, and testing, as well as the incremental and iterative development of systems.
■ In Chapter 2, there is more content on Agile techniques, including scrum meetings, product backlog, and sprints.
■ In Chapter 3, we have increased focus on software quality and user stories.
■ We have added new examples throughout the book and clarified explanations to help students learn some of the more difficult concepts.
■ Chapter 10 includes more coverage of mobile computing, including specifics on navigation, input, and output. This chapter also has a new section on games, multidimensional information visualization, augmented reality, and virtual reality.
■ Chapter 11 includes new material on ubiquitous computing and the Internet of Things.
■ Testing has been expanded in Chapter 12.
ORGANIZATION OF THIS BOOK
This book is loosely organized around the phases and workflows of the enhanced Unified Process. Each chapter has been written to teach students specific tasks that analysts need to accomplish over the course of a project, and the deliverables that will be produced from the tasks. As students complete the chapters, they will realize the iterative and incremental nature of the tasks in object-oriented systems development.
Chapter 1 introduces the SDLC, systems development methodologies, roles and skills needed for a systems analyst, the basic characteristics of object-oriented systems, object-oriented systems analysis, the Unified Process, and the UML. Chapter 2 presents topics related to the project management workflow of the Unified Process, including project identification, system request, feasibility analysis, project selection, traditional project management tools (including work breakdown structures, network diagrams, and PERT analysis), project effort estimation using use-case points, evolutionary work breakdown structures, iterative workplans, scope management, timeboxing, risk management, and staffing the project. Chapter 2 also addresses issues related to the Environment and Infrastructure management workflows of the Unified Process.
Part One focuses on creating analysis models. Chapter 3 introduces students to an assortment of requirements analysis strategies a variety of requirements-gathering techniques that are used to determine the functional and nonfunctional requirements of the system, and to a system proposal. Chapter 4 focuses on constructing business process and functional models using use-case diagrams, activity diagrams, and use-case descriptions. Chapter 5 addresses producing structural models using CRC cards, class diagrams, and object diagrams. Chapter 6 tackles creating behavioral models using sequence diagrams, communication diagrams, behavioral state machines, and CRUDE analysis and matrices. Chapters 4 through 6 also cover the verification and validation of the models described in each chapter.
Part Two addresses design modeling. In Chapter 7, students learn how to verify and validate the analysis models created during analysis modeling and to evolve the analysis models into design models via the use of factoring, partitions, and layers. The students also learn to create an alternative matrix that can be used to compare custom, packaged, and outsourcing alternatives. Chapter 8 concentrates on designing the individual classes and their respective methods through the use of contracts and method specifications. Chapter 9 presents the issues involved in designing persistence for objects. These issues include the different storage formats that can be used for object persistence, how to map an objectoriented design into the chosen storage format, and how to design a set of data access and manipulation classes that act as a translator between the classes in the application and the object persistence. This chapter also focuses on the nonfunctional requirements that impact the data management layer. Chapter 10 presents the design of the human–computer interaction layer, where students learn how to design user interfaces using use scenarios, windows navigation diagrams, storyboards, windows layout diagrams, user interface prototypes, real use cases, interface standards, and user interface templates; to perform user interface evaluations using heuristic evaluation, walkthrough evaluation, interactive evaluation, and formal usability testing; and to address nonfunctional requirements such
as user interface layout, content awareness, aesthetics, user experience, and consistency. This chapter also addresses issues related to mobile computing, social media, games, multidimensional information visualizations, immersive environments, and international and cultural issues with regard to user interface design. Chapter 11 focuses on the physical architecture and infrastructure design, which includes deployment diagrams and hardware/software specification. In today’s world, this also includes issues related to cloud computing, ubiquitous computing, the Internet of things, and green IT. This chapter, like the previous design chapters, covers the impact that nonfunctional requirements can have on the physical architecture layer.
Part Three provides material that is related to the construction, installation, and operations of the system. Chapter 12 focuses on system construction, where students learn how to build, test, and document the system. Installation and operations are covered in Chapter 13, where students learn about the conversion plan, change management plan, support plan, and project assessment. Additionally, these chapters address the issues related to developing systems in a flat world, where developers and users are distributed throughout the world.
Instructor Book Companion Website
■ PowerPoint slides: Instructors can tailor the slides to their classroom needs. Students can use them to guide their reading and studying activities.
■ Test Bank: Includes a variety of questions ranging from multiple-choice, true/ false, and short answer questions. A computerized, Respondus version of the Test Bank is also available.
■ Instructor’s Manual: Provides resources to support the instructor both inside and out of the classroom. The manual includes short experiential exercises that instructors can use to help students experience and understand key topics in each chapter. Short stories have been provided by people working in both corporate and consulting environments for instructors to insert into lectures to make concepts more colorful and real. Additional minicases for every chapter allow students to perform some of the key concepts that were learned in the chapter. Solutions to end of chapter questions and exercises are provided.
Student Book Companion Website
■ A collection of templates and worksheets consisting of electronic versions of selected figures from the book.
■ A completely new, expanded case study on an integrated health clinic delivery system has been written to accompany the fifth edition. This case study is online only. It can be accessed at www.wiley.com/go/dennis/casestudy.
■ “Your Turn” and “Concepts in Action” boxes from the fourth edition have been moved online and can be accessed from the student companion site.
Wiley E-Text: Powered by VitalSource
This Wiley e-text offers students continuing access to materials for their course. Your students can access content on a mobile device, online from any Internet-connected computer, or by a computer via download. With dynamic features built into this e-text, students can search across content, highlight, and take notes that they can share with teachers and classmates.
Visible Analyst
Wiley has partnered with Visible Analyst to give students a discounted price for Visible Analyst software, an intuitive modeling tool for all aspects of traditional or object-oriented systems analysis and design. All new copies of the text will have a Key Code (printed on a page near the front of this text) that will provide a discount on Visible Analyst software. To obtain the software, students should visit http://store.visible.com/Wiley.aspx and enter their Key Code. Students who buy a new print text or digital e-book will receive one-third off the price of a downloadable edition of the software with a 6-month license. With the software, they will also receive tutorials, how-to videos, and a sample project. Students who buy used copies of this text may buy Visible Analyst at full price using the URL provided.
Project Management Software
You can download a 60-day trial of Microsoft Project Professional 2013 from the following Website: www.microsoft.com/en-us/evalcenter/evaluate-project-professional-2013. Note that Microsoft has changed its policy and no longer offers the 120-day trial previously available.
Another option now available to education institutions adopting this Wiley title is a free introductory 3-year membership for DreamSpark Premium. DreamSpark Premium is designed to provide the easiest and most inexpensive way for academic departments to make the latest Microsoft software available in labs, classrooms, and on student and instructor PCs. Microsoft Project software is available through this Wiley and Microsoft publishing partnership, free of charge with the adoption of any qualified Wiley title. Each copy of Microsoft Project is the full version of the software, with no time limitation, and can be used indefinitely for educational purposes. Contact your Wiley sales representative for details. For more information about the DreamSpark Premium program, contact drmspkna@Microsoft.com.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks to Elaine Seeman for her feedback on every chapter in this book as well as for her work writing the new online case study. We would like to thank the following reviewers for their helpful and insightful comments on the fifth edition: Mohammad Dadashzadeh, Oakland University; Xiaodong Deng, Oakland University ; Thomas W. Dillon, James Madison University; Bryan Goda, University of Washington, Tacoma; Kathleen S. Hartzel, Duquesne University; Rajkumar Kempaiah, Stevens Institute of Technology; Sung-kwan Kim, University of Arkansas at Little Rock; Richard McCarthy, Quinnipiac University; Donald McCracken, Grantham University; Osama A. Morad, Southern New Hampshire University; Fred Niederman, Saint Louis University; Linda Plotnick, Jacksonville State University; Vladimir V. Riabov, Rivier University ; Richard Schilhavy, Guilford College; Tod Sedbrook, University of Northern Colorado; Steven C. Shaffer, Penn State University; Michael Smith, Georgia Institute of Technology; and John Wetsch, Southern New Hampshire University.
We would also like to thank the following reviewers for their helpful and insightful comments on the first, second, third, and fourth editions: Evans Adams, Fort Lewis College; Murugan Anandarajon, Drexel University; Ron Anson, Boise State University; Noushin Ashrafi, University of Massachusetts, Boston; Dirk Baldwin, University of Wisconsin-Parkside; Robert Barker, University of Louisville; Qing Cao, University of Missouri–Kansas City; David Champion, DeVry University, Columbus, OH campus; Jeff Cummings, Indiana University; Junhua Ding, East Carolina University; Robert Dollinger,
University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point; Abhijit Dutt, Carnegie Mellon University; Terry Fox, Baylor University; Ahmad Ghafarian, North Georgia College & State University; Donald Golden, Cleveland State University; Cleotilde Gonzalez, Carnegie Melon University; Daniel V. Goulet, University of Wisconsin–Stevens Point; Harvey Hayashi, Loyalist College of Applied Arts and Technology; Yujong Hwang, DePaul University; Scott James, Saginaw Valley State University; Zongliang Jiang, North Carolina A&T State University; Raymond Kirsch, La Salle University; Rajiv Kishore, State University of New York–Buffalo; Ravindra Krovi, University of Akron; Jean-Piere Kuilboer, University of Massachusetts, Boston; Gilliean Lee, Lander University; LeoLegorreta, California State University Sacramento; Diane Lending, James Madison University; Steve Machon, DeVry University; Fernando Maymí, West Point University; Daniel Mittleman, DePaulUniversity; Makoto Nakayama, DePaul University; Fred Niederman, Saint Louis University; Parasuraman Nurani, DeVry University; H. Robert Pajkowski, DeVry Institute of Technology, Scarborough, Ontario; June S. Park, University of Iowa; Graham Peace, West Virginia University; Tom Pettay, DeVry Institute of Technology, Columbus,Ohio; Selwyn Piramuthu, University of Florida; J. Drew Procaccino, Rider University; Neil Ramiller, Portland State University; Eliot Rich, University at Albany, State University of New York; Marcus Rothenberger, University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee; Carl Scott, University of Houston; Keng Siau,University of Nebraska–Lincoln; Iftikhar Sikder, Cleveland State University; Jonathan Trower, Baylor University; June Verner, Drexel University; Anna Wachholz, Sheridan College; Bill Watson, Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis; Randy S.Weinberg, Carnegie Mellon University; Eli J.Weissman, DeVry Institute of Technology, Long Island City, NY; Heinz Roland Weistroffer, Virginia Commonwealth University; Amy Wilson, DeVry Institute of Technology, Decatur, GA; Amy Woszczynski, Kennesaw State University; Vincent C. Yen, Wright State University ; Fan Zhao, Florida Gulf Coast University; and Dan Zhu, Iowa State University.
Preface v
Chapter 1
Introduction to Systems Analysis and Design 1
Introduction 1
The Systems Development Life Cycle 2
Planning 3
Analysis 3
Design 4
Implementation 4
Systems Development Methodologies 5
Structured Design 6
Rapid Application Development (RAD) 8
Agile Development 12
Selecting the Appropriate Development Methodology 15
Typical Systems Analyst Roles and Skills 17
Business Analyst 18
Systems Analyst 18
Infrastructure Analyst 18
Change Management Analyst 19
Project Manager 19
Basic Characteristics of Object-Oriented
Systems 19
Classes and Objects 19
Methods and Messages 20
Encapsulation and Information Hiding 20
Inheritance 21
Polymorphism and Dynamic Binding 22
Object-Oriented Systems Analysis and Design (OOSAD) 23
Use-Case Driven 24
Architecture-Centric 24
Iterative and Incremental 24
Benefits of Object-Oriented Systems Analysis and Design 25
The Unified Process 25
Phases 26
Workflows 28
Extensions to the Unified Process 30
The Unified Modeling Language 34
applying the concepts at patterson
superstore 36
Chapter Review 36
Chapter 2
Project Management 41
Introduction 41
Project Identification 43
System Request 44
Feasibility Analysis 45
Technical Feasibility 45
Economic Feasibility 46
Organizational Feasibility 51
Project Selection 53
Traditional Project Management Tools 54
Work Breakdown Structures 55
Gantt Chart 56
Network Diagram 57
Project Effort Estimation 58
Creating and Managing the Workplan 63
Evolutionary Work Breakdown
Structures and Iterative Workplans 63
Managing Scope 67
Timeboxing 68
Refining Estimates 69
Managing Risk 70
Staffing the Project 71
Characteristics of a Jelled Team 71
Staffing Plan 73
Motivation 75
Handling Conflict 76
Environment and Infrastructure Management 76
CASE Tools 77
Standards 77
Documentation 78
Applying the Concepts at Patterson Superstore 80
Chapter Review 80
Chapter 3 Requirements Determination 86
Introduction 86
Requirements Determination 87
Defining a Requirement 87
Requirements Definition 89
Determining Requirements 89
Creating a Requirements Definition 91
Real-World Problems with Requirements
Determination 91
Requirements Analysis Strategies 92
Problem Analysis 92
Root Cause Analysis 92
Duration Analysis 93
Activity-Based Costing 94
Informal Benchmarking 94
Outcome Analysis 95
Technology Analysis 95
Activity Elimination 95
Requirements-Gathering Techniques 95
Interviews 96
Joint Application Development (JAD) 100
Questionnaires 104
Document Analysis 106
Observation 108
Selecting the Appropriate Techniques 108
Alternative Requirements Documentation Techniques 110
Concept Maps 110
User Stories 112
The System Proposal 113
Applying the Concepts at Patterson
Superstore 114
Chapter review 114
Chapter 4
Business Process and Functional Modeling 119
Introduction 119
Business Process Identification with Use
Cases and Use-Case Diagrams 121
Elements of Use-Case Diagrams 121
Identifying the Major Use Cases 126
Creating a Use-Case Diagram 127
Business Process Modeling with Activity Diagrams 129
Elements of an Activity Diagram 131
Guidelines for Creating Activity Diagrams 136
Creating Activity Diagrams 137
Business Process Documentation with Use Cases and Use-Case Descriptions 140
Types of Use Cases 141
Elements of a Use-Case Description 141
Guidelines for Creating Use-Case Descriptions 145
Creating Use Case Descriptions 146
Verifying and Validating the Business Processes and Functional Models 153
Verification and Validation through Walkthroughs 153
Functional Model Verification and Validation 154
Applying the Concepts at Patterson Superstore 157
Chapter Review 157
Chapter 5 Structural Modeling 163
Introduction 163
Structural Models 164
Classes, Attributes, and Operations 164
Relationships 165
Object Identification 166
Textual Analysis 166
Brainstorming 167
Common Object Lists 169
Patterns 169
Crc Cards 172
Responsibilities and Collaborations 172
Elements of a CRC Card 173
Role-Playing CRC Cards with Use Cases 174
Class Diagrams 176
Elements of a Class Diagram 176
Simplifying Class Diagrams 184
Object Diagrams 184
Creating Structural Models Using CRC Cards and Class Diagrams 185
Campus Housing Example 187
Library Example 187
Verifying and Validating the Structural Model 194
Applying the Concepts at Patterson
Superstore 197
Chapter Review 198
Chapter 6
Behavioral Modeling 202
Introduction 202
Behavioral Models 203
Interaction Diagrams 204
Objects, Operations, and Messages 204
Sequence Diagrams 204
Communication Diagrams 216
Behavioral State Machines 221 States, Events, Transitions, Actions, and Activities 221
Elements of a Behavioral State Machine 222
Creating a Behavioral State Machine 226
Crude Analysis 229
Verifying and Validating the Behavioral Model 233
Applying the Concepts at Patterson
Superstore 235
Chapter Review 235
■ PART TWO DESIGN MODELING
Chapter 7
Moving on to Design 240
Introduction 240
Verifying and Validating the Analysis Models 242
Balancing Functional and Structural Models 242
Balancing Functional and Behavioral Models 243
Balancing Structural and Behavioral Models 251
Summary 254
Evolving the Analysis Models into Design Models 257
Factoring 257
Partitions and Collaborations 258
Layers 259
Packages and Package Diagrams 262
Guidelines for Creating Package Diagrams 264
Creating Package Diagrams 266
Verifying and Validating Package Diagrams 266
Design Strategies 268
Custom Development 268
Packaged Software 269
Outsourcing 270
Selecting a Design Strategy 272
Selecting an Acquisition Strategy 273
Alternative Matrix 274
Applying the Concepts at Patterson
Superstore 276
Chapter Review 276
Chapter 8 Class and Method Design 280
Introduction 280
Review of the Basic Characteristics of Object Orientation 282
Classes, Objects, Methods, and Messages 282
Encapsulation and Information Hiding 282
Polymorphism and Dynamic Binding 282
Inheritance 284
Design Criteria 286
Coupling 286
Cohesion 289
Connascence 292
Object Design Activities 293
Adding Specifications 293
Identifying Opportunities for Reuse 294
Restructuring the Design 297
Optimizing the Design 298
Mapping Problem-Domain Classes to Implementation Languages 300 Constraints and Contracts 304
Types of Constraints 306
Elements of a Contract 306
Method Specification 314
General Information 314
Events 314
Message Passing 315
Algorithm Specifications 316
Example 318
Verifying and Validating Class and Method Design 319
Applying the Concepts at Patterson
Superstore 322
Chapter review 322
Chapter 9
Data Management Layer Design 326
Introduction 326
Object Persistence Formats 327
Sequential and Random Access Files 327
Relational Databases 330
Object-Relational Databases 332
Object-Oriented Databases 332
NoSQL Data Stores 333
Selecting an Object Persistence Format 335
Mapping Problem Domain Objects to Object Persistence Formats 337
Mapping Problem Domain Objects to an OODBMS Format 338
Mapping Problem Domain Objects to an ORDBMS Format 341
Mapping Problem Domain Objects to a RDBMS Format 344
Optimizing Rdbms-Based Object Storage 346
Optimizing Storage Efficiency 347
Optimizing Data Access Speed 351
Estimating Data Storage Size 356
Designing Data Access and Manipulation Classes 357
Nonfunctional Requirements and Data Management Layer Design 360
Verifying and Validating the Data Management Layer 361
Applying the Concepts at Patterson
Superstore 362
Chapter Review 362
Chapter 10
CHAPTER 1 Introduction to Systems Analysis and Design
Chapter 1 introduces the systems development life cycle (SDLC), the fundamental fourphase model (planning, analysis, design, and implementation) common to all information systems development projects. It describes the evolution of system development methodologies and discusses the roles and skills required of a systems analyst. The chapter then overviews the basic characteristics of object-oriented systems and the fundamentals of object-oriented systems analysis and design and closes with a description of the Unified Process and its extensions and the Unified Modeling Language.
OBJECTIVES
■ Understand the fundamental systems development life cycle and its four phases
■ Understand the evolution of systems development methodologies
■ Be familiar with the different roles played by and the skills of a systems analyst
■ Be familiar with the basic characteristics of object-oriented systems
■ Be familiar with the fundamental principles of object-oriented systems analysis and design
■ Be familiar with the Unified Process, its extensions, and the Unified Modeling Language
INTRODUCTION
The systems development life cycle (SDLC) is the process of understanding how an information system (IS) can support business needs by designing a system, building it, and delivering it to users. If you have taken a programming class or have programmed on your own, this probably sounds pretty simple. Unfortunately, it is not. A 1996 survey by the Standish Group found that 42 percent of all corporate IS projects were abandoned before completion. A similar study conducted in 1996 by the General Accounting Office found 53 percent of all U.S. government IS projects were abandoned. Unfortunately, many of the systems that are not abandoned are delivered to the users significantly late, cost far more than planned, and have fewer features than originally planned. For example, IAG Consulting reports that 80 percent of the projects were over time, 72 percent were over budget, and 55 percent contained less than the full functionality; Panorama Consulting Solutions reports that 54 percent of the ERP projects were over time, 56 percent were over budget, and 48 percent delivered less than 50 percent of the initial benefits; and an IBM study reports that 59 percent of the projects missed one or more of on time, within budget, and quality constraints. 1 Although we would like to promote this book as a silver bullet that will keep you from IS failures, we readily admit that a silver bullet that guarantees IS development success simply does not exist. Instead, this book provides you
with several fundamental concepts and many practical techniques that you can use to improve the probability of success.
The key person in the SDLC is the systems analyst, who analyzes the business situation, identifies opportunities for improvements, and designs an information system to implement them. Being a systems analyst is one of the most interesting, exciting, and challenging jobs around. Systems analysts work with a variety of people and learn how they conduct business. Specifically, they work with a team of systems analysts, programmers, and others on a common mission. Systems analysts feel the satisfaction of seeing systems that they designed and developed make a significant business impact, knowing that they contributed unique skills to make that happen.
However, the primary objective of a systems analyst is not to create a wonderful system; instead, it is to create value for the organization, which for most companies means increasing profits (government agencies and not-for-profit organizations measure value differently). Many failed systems have been abandoned because the analysts tried to build a wonderful system without clearly understanding how the system would fit with an organization’s goals, current business processes, and other information systems to provide value. An investment in an information system is like any other investment. The goal is not to acquire the tool, because the tool is simply a means to an end; the goal is to enable the organization to perform work better so that it can earn greater profits or serve its constituents more effectively.
This book introduces the fundamental skills a systems analyst needs. This pragmatic book discusses best practices in systems development; it does not present a general survey of systems development that covers everything about the topic. By definition, systems analysts do things and challenge the current way that organizations work. To get the most out of this book, you will need to actively apply to your own systems development project the ideas and concepts in the examples. This book guides you through all the steps for delivering a successful information system. By the time you finish the book, you won’t be an expert analyst, but you will be ready to start building systems for real.
THE SYSTEMS DEVELOPMENT LIFE CYCLE
In many ways, building an information system is similar to building a house. First, the house (or the information system) starts with a basic idea. Second, this idea is transformed into a simple drawing that is shown to the customer and refined (often through several drawings, each improving on the last) until the customer agrees that the picture depicts what he or she wants. Third, a set of blueprints is designed that presents much more detailed information about the house (e.g., the type of water faucets or where the telephone jacks will be placed). Finally, the house is built following the blueprints, often with some changes directed by the customer as the house is erected.
The SDLC has a similar set of four fundamental phases: planning, analysis, design, and implementation. Different projects might emphasize different parts of the SDLC or approach the SDLC phases in different ways, but all projects have elements of these four phases. Each phase is itself composed of a series of steps, which rely upon techniques that produce deliverables (specific documents and files that provide understanding about the project).
1 For more information on the problem, see Capers Jones, Patterns of Software System Failure and Success (London: International Thompson Computer Press, 1996); KeithEllis, Business Analysis Benchmark: The Impact of Business Requirements on the Success of Technology Projects (2008). Retrieved May 2014 from IAG Consulting, www.iag.biz; H. H. Jorgensen, L. Owen, and A. Neus, Making Change Work (2008). Retrieved May 2014 from IBM, www.ibm. com; Panorama Consulting Solutions, 2012 ERP Report (2012). Retrieved May 2014 from Panorama-Consulting.com.
For example, in applying for admission to a university, all students go through the same phases: information gathering, applying, and accepting. Each of these phases has steps; for example, information gathering includes steps such as searching for schools, requesting information, and reading brochures. Students then use techniques (e.g., Internet searching) that can be applied to steps (e.g., requesting information) to create deliverables (e.g., evaluations of different aspects of universities).
In many projects, the SDLC phases and steps proceed in a logical path from start to finish. In other projects, the project teams move through the steps consecutively, incrementally, iteratively, or in other patterns. In this section, we describe the phases, the actions, and some of the techniques that are used to accomplish the steps at a very high level.
For now, there are two important points to understand about the SDLC. First, you should get a general sense of the phases and steps through which IS projects move and some of the techniques that produce certain deliverables. Second, it is important to understand that the SDLC is a process of gradual refinement. The deliverables produced in the analysis phase provide a general idea of the shape of the new system. These deliverables are used as input to the design phase, which then refines them to produce a set of deliverables that describes in much more detailed terms exactly how the system will be built. These deliverables, in turn, are used in the implementation phase to produce the actual system. Each phase refines and elaborates on the work done previously.
Planning
The planning phase is the fundamental process of understanding why an information system should be built and determining how the project team will go about building it. It has two steps:
1. During project initiation, the system’s business value to the organization is identified: How will it lower costs or increase revenues? Most ideas for new systems come from outside the IS area (e.g., from the marketing department, accounting department) in the form of a system request. A system request presents a brief summary of a business need, and it explains how a system that supports the need will create business value. The IS department works together with the person or department that generated the request (called the project sponsor) to conduct a feasibility analysis.
The system request and feasibility analysis are presented to an information systems approval committee (sometimes called a steering committee), which decides whether the project should be undertaken.
2. Once the project is approved, it enters project management. During project management, the project manager creates a workplan, staffs the project, and puts techniques in place to help the project team control and direct the project through the entire SDLC. The deliverable for project management is a project plan, which describes how the project team will go about developing the system.
Analysis
The analysis phase answers the questions of who will use the system, what the system will do, and where and when it will be used. During this phase, the project team investigates any current system(s), identifies opportunities for improvement, and develops a concept for the new system.
This phase has three steps:
1. An analysis strategy is developed to guide the project team’s efforts. Such a strategy usually includes an analysis of the current system (called the as-is system) and its problems and then ways to design a new system (called the to-be system).
2. The next step is requirements gathering (e.g., through interviews or questionnaires). The analysis of this information—in conjunction with input from the project sponsor and many other people—leads to the development of a concept for a new system. The system concept is then used as a basis to develop a set of business analysis models, which describe how the business will operate if the new system is developed.
3. The analyses, system concept, and models are combined into a document called the system proposal, which is presented to the project sponsor and other key decision makers (e.g., members of the approval committee) who decide whether the project should continue to move forward.
The system proposal is the initial deliverable that describes what business requirements the new system should meet. Because it is really the first step in the design of the new system, some experts argue that it is inappropriate to use the term “analysis” as the name for this phase; some argue a better name would be “analysis and initial design.” Most organizations continue to use the name analysis for this phase, however, so we use it in this book as well. Just keep in mind that the deliverable from the analysis phase is both an analysis and a high-level initial design for the new system.
Design
The design phase decides how the system will operate, in terms of the hardware, software, and network infrastructure; the user interface, forms, and reports; and the specific programs, databases, and files that will be needed. Although most of the strategic decisions about the system were made in the development of the system concept during the analysis phase, the steps in the design phase determine exactly how the system will operate. The design phase has four steps:
1. The design strategy is first developed. It clarifies whether the system will be developed by the company’s own programmers, whether the system will be outsourced to another firm (usually a consulting firm), or whether the company will buy an existing software package.
2. This leads to the development of the basic architecture design for the system, which describes the hardware, software, and network infrastructure to be used. In most cases, the system will add or change the infrastructure that already exists in the organization. The interface design specifies how the users will move through the system (e.g., navigation methods such as menus and on-screen buttons) and the forms and reports that the system will use.
3. The database and file specifications are developed. These define exactly what data will be stored and where they will be stored.
4. The analyst team develops the program design, which defines the programs that need to be written and exactly what each program will do.
This collection of deliverables (architecture design, interface design, database and file specifications, and program design) is the system specification that is handed to the programming team for implementation. At the end of the design phase, the feasibility analysis and project plan are reexamined and revised, and another decision is made by the project sponsor and approval committee about whether to terminate the project or continue.
Implementation
The final phase in the SDLC is the implementation phase, during which the system is actually built (or purchased, in the case of a packaged software design). This is the phase that usually
gets the most attention, because for most systems it is the longest and most expensive single part of the development process. This phase has three steps:
1. System construction is the first step. The system is built and tested to ensure that it performs as designed. Because the cost of bugs can be immense, testing is one of the most critical steps in implementation. Most organizations give more time and attention to testing than to writing the programs in the first place.
2. The system is installed. Installation is the process by which the old system is turned off and the new one is turned on. One of the most important aspects of conversion is the development of a training plan to teach users how to use the new system and help manage the changes caused by the new system.
3. The analyst team establishes a support plan for the system. This plan usually includes a formal or informal post-implementation review as well as a systematic way for identifying major and minor changes needed for the system.
SYSTEMS DEVELOPMENT METHODOLOGIES
A methodology is a formalized approach to implementing the SDLC (i.e., it is a list of steps and deliverables). There are many different systems development methodologies, and each one is unique, based on the order and focus it places on each SDLC phase. Some methodologies are formal standards used by government agencies, whereas others have been developed by consulting firms to sell to clients. Many organizations have internal methodologies that have been honed over the years, and they explain exactly how each phase of the SDLC is to be performed in that company.
There are many ways to categorize methodologies. One way is by looking at whether they focus on business processes or the data that support the business. A process-centered methodology emphasizes process models as the core of the system concept. In Figure 1-1, for example, process-centered methodologies would focus first on defining the processes (e.g., assemble sandwich ingredients). Data-centered methodologies emphasize data models as the core of the system concept. In Figure 1-1, data-centered methodologies would focus first on defining the contents of the storage areas (e.g., refrigerator) and how the contents were organized.2 By contrast, object-oriented methodologies attempt to balance the focus between process and data by incorporating both into one model. In Figure 1-1, these methodologies would focus first on defining the major elements of the system (e.g., sandwiches, lunches) and look at the processes and data involved with each element.
Another important factor in categorizing methodologies is the sequencing of the SDLC phases and the amount of time and effort devoted to each.3 In the early days of computing, programmers did not understand the need for formal and well-planned life-cycle methodologies. They tended to move directly from a very simple planning phase right into the construction step of the implementation phase—in other words, from a very fuzzy, not-wellthought-out system request into writing code. This is the same approach that you sometimes use when writing programs for a programming class. It can work for small programs that
2 The classic modern process-centered methodology is that by Edward Yourdon, Modern Structured Analysis (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Yourdon Press, 1989). An example of a data-centered methodology is information engineering; see James Martin, Information Engineering, vols. 1–3 (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1989). A widely accepted standardized non–object-oriented methodology that balances processes and data is IDEF; see FIPS 183, Integration Definition for Function Modeling, Federal Information Processing Standards Publications, U.S. Department of Commerce, 1993.
3 A good reference for comparing systems development methodologies is Steve McConnell, Rapid Development (Redmond, WA: Microsoft Press, 1996).
require only one programmer, but if the requirements are complex or unclear, you might miss important aspects of the problem and have to start all over again, throwing away part of the program (and the time and effort spent writing it). This approach also makes teamwork difficult because members have little idea about what needs to be accomplished and how to work together to produce a final product. In this section, we describe three different classes of system development methodologies: structured design, rapid application development, and agile development.
Structured Design
The first category of systems development methodologies is called structured design. These methodologies became dominant in the 1980s, replacing the previous ad hoc and
FIGURE 1-1 A Simple Behavioral Model for Making a Simple Lunch
FIGURE 1-2
undisciplined approach. Structured design methodologies adopt a formal step-by-step approach to the SDLC that moves logically from one phase to the next. Numerous process-centered and data-centered methodologies follow the basic approach of the two structured design categories outlined next.
Waterfall Development The original structured design methodology (still used today) is waterfall development. With waterfall development-based methodologies, the analysts and users proceed in sequence from one phase to the next (see Figure 1-2). The key deliverables for each phase are typically very long (often hundreds of pages in length) and are presented to the project sponsor for approval as the project moves from phase to phase. Once the sponsor approves the work that was conducted for a phase, the phase ends and the next one begins. This methodology is referred to as waterfall development because it moves forward from phase to phase in the same manner as a waterfall. Although it is possible to go backward in the SDLC (e.g., from design back to analysis), it is extremely difficult (imagine yourself as a salmon trying to swim upstream against a waterfall, as shown in Figure 1-2).
Structured design also introduced the use of formal modeling or diagramming techniques to describe the basic business processes and the data that support them. Traditional structured design uses one set of diagrams to represent the processes and a separate set of diagrams to represent data. Because two sets of diagrams are used, the systems analyst must decide which set to develop first and use as the core of the system: process-model diagrams or data-model diagrams.
The two key advantages of the structured design waterfall approach are that it identifies system requirements long before programming begins and it minimizes changes to the requirements as the project proceeds. The two key disadvantages are that the design must be completely specified before programming begins and that a long time elapses between the completion of the system proposal in the analysis phase and the delivery of the system (usually many months or years). If the project team misses important requirements, expensive post-implementation programming may be needed (imagine yourself trying to design a car on paper; how likely would you be to remember interior lights that come on when the doors open or to specify the right number of valves on the engine?). A system can also require significant rework because the business environment has changed from the time when the analysis phase occurred.
Parallel Development Parallel development methodology attempts to address the problem of long delays between the analysis phase and the delivery of the system. Instead of doing design and implementation in sequence, it performs a general design for the whole system and then divides the project into a series of distinct subprojects that can be designed and implemented in parallel. Once all subprojects are complete, the separate pieces are integrated and the system is delivered (see Figure 1-3).
The primary advantage of this methodology is that it can reduce the time to deliver a system; thus, there is less chance of changes in the business environment causing rework. However, sometimes the subprojects are not completely independent; design decisions made in one subproject can affect another, and the end of the project can require significant integration efforts.
Rapid Application Development (RAD)
A second category of methodologies includes rapid application development (RAD)-based methodologies. These are a newer class of systems development methodologies that emerged in the 1990s. RAD-based methodologies attempt to address both weaknesses of structured design methodologies by adjusting the SDLC phases to get some part of the system developed quickly and into the hands of the users. In this way, the users can better understand the system and suggest revisions that bring the system closer to what is needed.4
FIGURE 1-3 A Parallel Development-Based Methodology System
4 One of the best RAD books is Steve McConnell, Rapid Development (Redmond, WA: Microsoft Press, 1996).
Most RAD-based methodologies recommend that analysts use special techniques and computer tools to speed up the analysis, design, and implementation phases, such as computer-aided software engineering (CASE) tools, joint application design (JAD) sessions, fourth-generation or visual programming languages that simplify and speed up programming, and code generators that automatically produce programs from design specifications. The combination of the changed SDLC phases and the use of these tools and techniques improves the speed and quality of systems development. However, there is one possible subtle problem with RAD-based methodologies: managing user expectations. Owing to the use of the tools and techniques that can improve the speed and quality of systems development, user expectations of what is possible can change dramatically. As a user better understands the information technology (IT), the systems requirements tend to expand. This was less of a problem when using methodologies that spent a lot of time thoroughly documenting requirements.
Phased Development A phased development-based methodology breaks an overall system into a series of versions that are developed sequentially. The analysis phase identifies the overall system concept, and the project team, users, and system sponsor then categorize the requirements into a series of versions. The most important and fundamental requirements are bundled into the first version of the system. The analysis phase then leads into design and implementation—but only with the set of requirements identified for version 1 (see Figure 1-4).
Once version 1 is implemented, work begins on version 2. Additional analysis is performed based on the previously identified requirements and combined with new ideas and issues that arose from the users’ experience with version 1. Version 2 then is designed and implemented, and work immediately begins on the next version. This process continues until the system is complete or is no longer in use.
Phased development-based methodologies have the advantage of quickly getting a useful system into the hands of the users. Although the system does not perform all the functions the users need at first, it does begin to provide business value sooner than if the system were delivered after completion, as is the case with the waterfall and parallel methodologies. Likewise, because users begin to work with the system sooner, they are more likely to identify important additional requirements sooner than with structured design situations.
The major drawback to phased development is that users begin to work with systems that are intentionally incomplete. It is critical to identify the most important and useful features and include them in the first version and to manage users’ expectations along the way.
Prototyping A prototyping-based methodology performs the analysis, design, and implementation phases concurrently, and all three phases are performed repeatedly in a cycle until the system is completed. With these methodologies, the basics of analysis and design are performed, and work immediately begins on a system prototype, a quick-and-dirty program that provides a minimal amount of features. The first prototype is usually the first part of the system that is used. This is shown to the users and the project sponsor, who provide comments. These comments are used to reanalyze, redesign, and reimplement a second prototype, which provides a few more features. This process continues in a cycle until the analysts, users, and sponsor agree that the prototype provides enough functionality to be installed and used in the organization. After the prototype (now called the “system”) is installed, refinement occurs until it is accepted as the new system (see Figure 1-5).
The key advantage of a prototyping-based methodology is that it very quickly provides a system with which the users can interact, even if it is not ready for widespread organizational use at first. Prototyping reassures the users that the project team is working on the system (there are no long delays in which the users see little progress), and prototyping helps to more quickly refine real requirements.
1-4 A Phased Development-Based Methodology
FIGURE 1-5 A Prototyping-Based Methodology
FIGURE
The major problem with prototyping is that its fast-paced system releases challenge attempts to conduct careful, methodical analysis. Often the prototype undergoes such significant changes that many initial design decisions become poor ones. This can cause problems in the development of complex systems because fundamental issues and problems are not recognized until well into the development process. Imagine building a car and discovering late in the prototyping process that you have to take the whole engine out to change the oil (because no one thought about the need to change the oil until after it had been driven 10,000 miles).
Throwaway Prototyping Throwaway prototyping-based methodologies are similar to prototyping-based methodologies in that they include the development of prototypes; however, throwaway prototypes are done at a different point in the SDLC. These prototypes are used for a very different purpose than those previously discussed, and they have a very different appearance (see Figure 1-6).
The throwaway prototyping-based methodologies have a relatively thorough analysis phase that is used to gather information and to develop ideas for the system concept. However, users might not completely understand many of the features they suggest, and there may be challenging technical issues to be solved. Each of these issues is examined by analyzing, designing, and building a design prototype. A design prototype is not a working system; it is a product that represents a part of the system that needs additional refinement, and it contains only enough detail to enable users to understand the issues under consideration. For example, suppose users are not completely clear on how an order-entry system should work. In this case, a series of mock-up screens appear to be a system, but they really do nothing. Or suppose that the project team needs to develop a sophisticated graphics program in Java. The team could write a portion of the program with pretend data to ensure that they could do a full-blown program successfully.
A system developed using this type of methodology relies on several design prototypes during the analysis and design phases. Each of the prototypes is used to minimize the risk associated with the system by confirming that important issues are understood before the real system is built. Once the issues are resolved, the project moves into design and implementation. At this point, the design prototypes are thrown away, which is an important difference between these methodologies and prototyping methodologies, in which the prototypes evolve into the final system. FIGURE 1-6 A Throwaway
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(Be it understood I am alluding to a caravan at rest: when in motion you may shout your secrets, for the noise of crockery leaping and breaking in what we learned—with difficulty—to allude to as the pantry will effectually drown them.)
The two ladies took no heed of my question, but coming up after us— they never could have got in had they been less spare—filled the van to overflowing while they explained the various arrangements by which our miseries on the road were to be mitigated. It was chiefly the gaunt sister who talked, she being very nimble of tongue, but I must say that on this occasion Frau von Eckthum did not confine herself to the attitude I so much admired in her, the ideal feminine one of smiling and keeping quiet. I, meanwhile, tried to make myself as small as possible, which is what persons in caravans try to do all the time. I sat on a shiny yellow wooden box that ran down one side of our “room” with holes in its lid and a flap at the end by means of which it could, if needed, be lengthened and turned into a bed for a third sufferer. (On reading this aloud I shall probably substitute traveller for sufferer, and some milder word such as discomfort for the word miseries in the first sentence of the paragraph.) Inside the box was a mattress, also extra sheets, towels, etc., so that, the gaunt sister said there was nothing to prevent our having house-parties for week-ends. As I do not like such remarks even in jest I took care to show by my expression that I did not, but Edelgard, to my surprise, who used always to be the first to scent the vicinity of thin ice, laughed heartily as she continued her frantically pleased examination of the van’s contents.
It is not to be expected of any man that he shall sit in a cramped position on a yellow box at an hour long past his dinner time and take an interest in puerilities. To Edelgard it seemed to be a kind of a doll’s house, and she, entirely forgetting the fact of which I so often reminded her that she will be thirty next birthday, behaved in much the same way as a child who has just been presented with this expensive form of toy by some foolish and spendthrift relation. Frau von Eckthum, too, appeared to me to be less intelligent than I was accustomed to suppose her. She smiled at Edelgard’s delight as though it pleased her, chatting in a way I hardly recognized as she drew my wife’s attention to the objects she had not had time to notice. Edelgard’s animation amazed me. She questioned and investigated and admired without once noticing that as I sat on the lid of the wooden box I was obviously filled with sober thoughts. Why, she was so much infatuated
that she actually demanded at intervals that I too should join in this exhibition of childishness; and it was not until I said very pointedly that I, at least, was not a little girl, that she was recalled to a proper sense of her behaviour.
“Poor Otto is hungry,” she said, pausing suddenly in her wild career round the caravan and glancing at my face.
“Is he? Then he must be fed,” said the gaunt sister, as carelessly and with as little real interest as if there were no particular hurry. “Look—aren’t these too sweet?—each on its own little hook—six of them, and their saucers in a row underneath.”
And so it would have gone on indefinitely if an extremely pretty, nice, kind little lady had not put her head in at the door and asked with a smile that fell like oil on the troubled water of my brain whether we were not dying for something to eat.
Never did the British absence of ceremony and introductions and preliminary phrases seem to me excellent before. I sprang up, and immediately knocked my elbow so hard against a brass bracket holding a candle and hanging on a hook in the wall that I was unable altogether to suppress an exclamation of pain. Remembering, however, what is due to society I very skilfully converted it into a rather precipitate and agonized answer to the little lady’s question, and she, with a charming hospitality, pressing me to come into her adjoining garden and have some food, I accepted with alacrity, only regretting that I was unable, from the circumstance of her going first, to help her down the ladder. (As a matter of fact she had in the end to help me, because the door slammed behind me and again imprisoned the skirts of my mackintosh.)
Edelgard, absorbed in delighted contemplation of a corner beneath the socalled pantry full of brooms and dusters also hanging in rows on hooks, only shook her head when I inquired if she would not come too; so leaving her to her ecstasies I went off with my new protector, who asked me why I wore a mackintosh when there was not a cloud in the sky. I avoided giving a direct answer by retorting playfully (though wholly politely), “Why not?”—and indeed my reasons, connected with creases and other ruin attendant on confinement in a hold-all, were of too domestic and private a nature to be explained to a stranger so charming. But my counter-question luckily amused her, and she laughed as she opened a small gate in the wall and led me into her garden.
Here I was entertained with the greatest hospitality by herself and her husband. The fleet of caravans which yearly pervades that part of England is stationed when not in action on their premises. Hence departs the joyful caravaner, accompanied by kind wishes; hither he returns sobered, and is received with balm and bandages—at least, I am sure he would find them and every other kind form of solace in the little garden on the hill. I spent a very pleasant and reviving half-hour in a sheltered corner of it, enjoying my al fresco meal and acquiring much information. To my question as to whether my entertainers were to be of our party they replied, to my disappointment, that they were not. Their functions were restricted to this seeing that we started happy, and being prompt and helpful when we came back. From them I learned that our party was to consist, besides ourselves and Frau von Eckthum and that sister whom I have hitherto distinguished by the adjective gaunt, putting off the necessity as long as possible of alluding to her by name, she having, as my hearers perhaps remember, married a person with the unpronounceable one if you see it written and the unspellable one if you hear it said of Menzies-Legh—the party was to consist, I say, besides these four, of Menzies-Legh’s niece and one of her friends; of Menzies-Legh himself; and of two young men about whom no precise information was obtainable.
“But how? But where?” said I, remembering the limited accommodations of the three caravans.
My host reassured me by explaining that the two young men would inhabit a tent by night which, by day, would be carried in one of the caravans.
“In which one?” I asked anxiously.
“You must settle that among yourselves,” said he smiling.
“That’s what one does all day long caravaning,” said my hostess, handing me a cup of coffee.
“What does one do?” I asked, eager for information.
“Settle things among oneselves,” said she. “Only generally one doesn’t.”
I put it down to my want of practice in the more idiomatic involutions of the language that I did not quite follow her meaning; but as one of my principles is never to let people know that I have not understood them I merely bowed slightly and, taking out my note-book, remarked that if that
were so I would permit myself to make a list of our party in order to keep its various members more distinct in my mind.
The following is the way in which we were to be divided:
1. A caravan (the Elsa), containing the Baron and Baroness von Ottringel, of Storchwerder in Prussia.
2. Another caravan (the Ailsa), containing Mr. and Mrs. Menzies-Legh, of various addresses, they being ridiculously and superfluously rich.
3. Another caravan (the Ilsa), containing Frau von Eckthum, the MenziesLegh niece, and her (as I gathered, school) friend. In this caravan the yellow box was to be used.
4. One tent, containing two young men, name and status unknown.
The ill-dressed person, old James, was coming too, but would sleep each night with the horses, they being under his special care; and all of the party (except ourselves and Frau von Eckthum and her sister who had already, as I need not say, done so) were yet to assemble. They were expected every moment, and had been expected all day. If they did not come soon our first day’s march, opined my host, would not see us camping further away than the end of the road, for it was already past four o’clock. This reminded me that my luggage ought to be unpacked and stowed away, and I accordingly begged to be excused that I might go and superintend the operation, for I have long ago observed that when the controlling eye of the chief is somewhere else things are very apt to go irremediably wrong.
“Against stupidity,” says some great German—it must have been Goethe, and if it was not, then no doubt it was Schiller, they having, I imagine, between them said everything there is to be said—“against stupidity the very gods struggle in vain.” And I beg that this may not be taken as a reflection on my dear wife, but rather as an inference of general applicability. In any case the recollection of it sent me off with a swinging stride to the caravans.
CHAPTER IV
DARKNESS had, if not actually gathered, certainly approached within measurable distance, substantially aided by lowering storm-clouds, by the time we were ready to start. Not that we were, as a fact, ever ready to start, because the two young girls of the party, with truly British inconsideration for others, had chosen to do that which Menzies-Legh in fantastic idiom described as not turning up. I heard him say it several times before I was able, by carefully comparing it with the context, to discover his meaning. The moment I discovered it I of course saw its truth: turned up they certainly had not, and though too well-bred to say it aloud I privately applauded him every time he remarked, with an accumulating emphasis, “Bother those girls.”
For the first two hours nobody had time to bother them, and to get some notion of the busy scene the yard presented my hearers must imagine a bivouac during our manoeuvres in which the soldiers shall all be recruits just joined and where there shall be no superior to direct them. I know to imagine this requires imagination, but only he who does it will be able to form an approximately correct notion of what the yard looked like and sounded like while the whole party (except the two girls who were not there) did their unpacking.
It will be obvious on a moment’s reflection that portmanteaus, etc., had to be opened on the bare earth in the midst, so to speak, of untamed nature, with threatening clouds driving over them, and rude winds seizing what they could of their contents and wantoning with them about the yard. It will be equally obvious that these contents had to be handed up one by one by the person below to the person in the caravan who was putting them away and the person below having less to do would be quicker in his movements, while the person above having more to do would be—I suppose naturally but I think with a little self-control it ought not to be so—quicker in her temper; and so she was, and quite unjustifiably, because though she might have the double work of sorting and putting away I, on the other hand, had to stoop so continuously that I was very shortly in a condition of actual physical distress. The young men, who might have helped and at first did help Frau von Eckthum (though I consider they were on more than delicate ground while they did it) were prevented being of use because one had brought a
bull terrier, a most dangerous looking beast, and the other—probably out of compliment to us—a white Pomeranian; and the bull terrier, without the least warning or preliminary growl such as our decent German dogs emit before proceeding to action, suddenly fixed his teeth into the Pomeranian and left them there. The howls of the Pomeranian may be imagined. The bull terrier, on the other hand, said nothing at all. At once the hubbub in the yard was increased tenfold. No efforts of its master could make the bull terrier let go. Menzies-Legh called for pepper, and the women-folk ransacked the larders in the rear of the vans, but though there were cruets there was no pepper. At length the little lady of the garden, whose special gift it seemed to appear at the right moment, judging no doubt that the sounds in the yard could not altogether be explained by caravaners unpacking, came out with a pot full, and throwing it into the bull terrier’s face he was obliged to let go in order to sneeze.
During the rest of the afternoon the young men could help no one because they were engaged in the care of their dogs, the owner of the Pomeranian attending to its wounds and the owner of the bull terrier preventing a repetition of its conduct. And Menzies-Legh came up to me and said in his singularly trailing melancholy voice, did I not think they were jolly dogs and going to be a great comfort to us.
“Oh, quite,” said I, unable exactly to understand what he meant.
Still less was I able to understand the attitude of the dogs’ masters toward each other. Not thus would our fiery German youth have behaved. Undoubtedly in a similar situation they would have come to blows, or in any case to the class of words that can only be honourably wiped out in the blood of a duel. But these lymphatic Englishmen, both of them straggly, pale persons in clothes so shabby and so much too big that I was at a loss to conceive how they could appear in them before ladies, hung on each to his dog in perfect silence, and when it was over and the aggressor’s owner, said he was sorry, the Pomeranian’s owner, instead of confronting him with the fury of a man who has been wronged and owes it to his virility not to endure it, actually tried to pretend that somehow, by some means, it was all his dog’s fault or his own in allowing him to be near the other, and therefore it was he who, in their jargon, was “frightfully sorry.” Such is the softness of this much too rich and far too comfortable nation. Merely to see it made me blush to be a man; but I became calm again on recollecting that the variety of man I happened to be was, under God, a German. And I discovered later
that neither of them ever touch an honest mug of beer, but drink instead— will it be believed?—water.
Now it must not be supposed that at this point of my holiday I had already ceased to enjoy it. On the contrary, I was enjoying myself in my quiet way very much. Not only does the study of character greatly interest me, but I am blest with a sense of humour united to that toughness of disposition which stops a man from saying, however much he may want to, die. Therefore I bore the unpacking and the arranging and the advice I got from everybody and the questions I was asked by everybody and the calls here and the calls there and the wind that did not cease a moment and the rain that pelted down at intervals, without a murmur. I had paid for my holiday, and I meant to enjoy it. But it did seem to me a strange way of taking pleasure for wealthy people like the Menzies-Leghs, who could have gone to the best hotel in the gayest resort, and who instead were bent into their portmanteaus as double as I was, doing work that their footmen would have scorned; and when during an extra sharp squall we had hastily shut our portmanteaus and all scrambled into our respective—I was going to say kennels, but I will be just and say caravans, I expressed this surprise to Edelgard, she said Mrs. Menzies-Legh had told her while I was at luncheon that both she and her sister desired for a time to remove themselves as far as possible from what she called the ministrations of menials. They wished, said Edelgard, quoting Mrs. Menzies-Legh’s words, to endeavour to fulfil the Scriptures and work with their hands the things which are good; and Edelgard, who was much amused by the reference to the Scriptures, agreed with me, who was also greatly diverted, that it is a game, this working with one’s hands, that only seems desirable to those so much surfeited with all that is worth having that they cease to be able to distinguish its value, and that it would be interesting to watch how long the two pampered ladies enjoyed playing it. Edelgard of course had no fears for herself, for she is a most admirably trained hausfrau, and the keeping of our tiny wheeled house in order would be easy enough after the keeping in order of our flat at home and the constant supervision, amounting on washing days to goading, of Clothilde. But the two sisters had not had the advantage of a husband who kept them to their work from the beginning, and Mrs. Menzies-Legh was a ne’er-do-well, spoiled, and encouraged to do nothing whatever except, so far as I could see, practise how best to pretend she was clever.
By six we were ready to start. From six to seven we bothered the girls. At seven serious consultations commenced as to what had better be done. Start we must, for kind though our host and hostess were I do not think they wanted us to camp in their front yard; if they did they did not say so, and it became every moment more apparent that a stormy night was drawing nearer across the hills. Menzies-Legh, with growing uneasiness, asked his wife I suppose a dozen times what on earth, as he put it, had become of the girls; whether she thought he had better go and look for them; whether she thought they had had an accident; whether she thought they had lost the address or themselves; to all of which she answered that she thought nothing except that they were naughty girls who would be suitably scolded when they did come.
The little lady of the garden came on the scene at this juncture with her usual happy tact, and suggested that it being late and we being new at it and therefore no doubt going to take longer arranging our camp this first night than we afterward would, we should start along the road to a bit of common about half a mile further on and there, with no attempt at anything like a march, settle for the night. We would then, she pointed out, either meet the girls or, if they came another way, she would send them round to us.
Such sensible suggestions could only, as the English say, be jumped at. In a moment all was bustle. We had been sitting disconsolately each on his ladder arguing (not without touches of what threatened to become recrimination), and we now briskly put them away and prepared to be off. With some difficulty the horses, who did not wish to go, were put in, the dogs were chained behind separate vans, the ladders slung underneath (this was no easy job, but one of the straggly young men came to our assistance just as Edelgard was about to get under our caravan and find out how to do it, and showed such unexpected skill that I put him down as being probably in the bolt and screw trade), adieux and appropriate speeches were made to our kind entertainer, and off we went.
First marched old James, leading the Ilsa’s horse, with Menzies-Legh beside him, and Mrs. Menzies-Legh, her head wrapped up very curiously in yards and yards of some transparent fluttering stuff of a most unpractically feminine nature and her hand grasping a walking stick of a most aggressively masculine one, marched behind, giving me who followed (to my surprise I found it was expected of me that far from sitting as I had intended to do inside our caravan I should trudge along leading our horse)
much unneeded and unasked-for advice. Her absurd head arrangement, which I afterward learned was called a motor veil, prevented my seeing anything except egregiously long eyelashes and the tip of an inquiring and strange to say not over aristocratic nose—Edelgard’s, true to its many ancestors, is purest hook. Taller and gaunter than ever in her straight up and down sort of costume, she stalked beside me her head on a level with mine (and I am by no means a short man), telling me what I ought to do and what I ought not to do in the matter of leading a horse; and when she had done that ad nauseam, ad libitum, and ad infinitum (I believe I have forgotten nothing at all of my classics) she turned to my peaceful wife sitting on the Elsa’s platform and announced that if she stayed up there she would probably soon be sorry.
In another moment Edelgard was sorry, for unfortunately my horse had had either too many oats or not enough exercise, and the instant the first van had lumbered through the gate and out of sight round the corner to the left he made a sudden and terrifying attempt to follow it at a gallop.
Those who know caravans know that they must never gallop: not, that is, if the contents are to remain unbroken and the occupants unbruised. They also know that no gate is more than exactly wide enough to admit of their passing through it, and that unless the passing through is calculated and carried out to a nicety the caravan that emerges will not be the caravan that went in. Providence that first evening was on my side, for I never got through any subsequent gate with an equal neatness. My heart had barely time to leap into my mouth before we were through and out in the road, and Mrs. Menzies-Legh, catching hold of the bridle, was able to prevent the beast’s doing what was clearly in his eye, turn round to the left after his mate with a sharpness that would have snapped the Elsa in two.
Edelgard, rather pale, scrambled down. The sight of our caravan heaving over inequalities or lurching as it was turned round was a sight I never learned to look at without a tightened feeling about the throat. Anxiously I asked Mrs. Menzies-Legh, when the horse, having reached the rear of the Ilsa, had settled down again, what would happen if I did not get through the next gate with an equal skill.
“Everything may happen,” said she, “from the scraping off of the varnish to the scraping off of a wheel.
“But this is terrible,” I cried. “What would we do with one wheel too few?”
“We couldn’t do anything till there was a new one.”
“And who would pay——”
I stopped. Aspects of the tour were revealed to me which had not till then been illuminated. “It depends,” said she, answering my unfinished question, “whose wheel it was.”
“And suppose my dear wife,” I inquired after a pause during which many thoughts surged within me, “should have the misfortune to break, say, a cup?”
“A new cup would have to be provided.”
“And would I—but suppose cups are broken by circumstances over which I have no control?”
She snatched quickly at the bridle. “Is that the horse?” she asked.
“Is what the horse?”
“The circumstances. If I hadn’t caught him then he’d have had your caravan in the ditch.”
“My dear lady,” I cried, nettled, “he would have done nothing of the sort. I was paying attention. As an officer you must admit that my ignorance of horses cannot be really as extensive as you are pleased to pretend you think.”
“Dear Baron, when does a woman ever admit?”
A shout from behind drowned the answer that would, I was sure, have silenced her, for I had not then discovered that no answer ever did. It was from one of the pale young men, who was making signs to us from the rear.
“Run back and see what he wants,” commanded Mrs. Menzies-Legh, marching on at my horse’s head with Edelgard, slightly out of breath, beside her.
I found that our larder had come undone and was shedding our ox-tongue, which we had hoped to keep private, on to the road in front of the eyes of Frau von Eckthum and the two young men. This was owing to Edelgard’s carelessness, and I was extremely displeased with her. At the back of each van were two lockers, one containing an oil stove and saucepans and the other, provided with air-holes, was the larder in which our provisions were to be kept. Both had doors consisting of flaps that opened outward and downward and were fastened by a padlock. With gross carelessness
Edelgard, after putting in the tongue, had merely shut the larder door without padlocking it, and when a sufficient number of jolts had occurred the flap fell open and the tongue fell out. It was being followed by some private biscuits we had brought.
Naturally I was upset. Every time Edelgard is neglectful or forgetful she recedes about a year in my esteem. It takes her a year of attentiveness and diligence to regain that point in my affection on which she previously stood. She knew this, and used to be careful to try to keep proper pace, if I may so express it, with my love, and at the date at which I have arrived in the narrative had not yet given up trying, so that when by shouting I had made Mrs. Menzies-Legh understand that the Elsa was to be stopped Edelgard hurried back to inquire what was wrong, and was properly distressed when she saw the result of her negligence. Well, repentance may be a good thing, but our ox-tongue was gone forever; before he could be stopped the Ailsa’s horse, following close behind, had placed his huge hoof on it and it became pulp.
“How sad,” said Frau von Eckthum gazing upon this ruin. “But so nice of you, dear Baroness, to think of it. It might just have saved us all from starvation.”
“Well, it can’t now,” said one of the young men; and he took it on the point of his stick and cast it into the ditch.
Edelgard began silently to pick up the scattered biscuits. Immediately both the young men darted forward to do it for her with a sudden awakening to energy that seemed very odd in persons who slouched along with their hands in their pockets. It made me wonder whether perhaps they thought her younger than she was. As we resumed our march, I came to the conclusion that this must be so, for such activity of assistance would otherwise be unnatural, and I resolved to take the earliest opportunity of bringing the conversation round to birthdays and then carelessly mentioning that my wife’s next one would be her thirtieth. In this department of all others I am not the man to allow buds to go unnipped.
We had not been travelling ten minutes before we came to a stony turning up to the right which old James, who was a native of those parts, said was the entrance to the common. It seemed strange to camp almost within a stone’s throw of our starting-place, but the rain was at that moment pelting down on our defenceless heads, and people hurrying to their snug homes stopped in spite of it to look at us with a wondering pity, so that we all
wished to get off the road as soon as possible and into the privacy of furze bushes. The lane was in no sense a hill: it was a gentle incline, almost immediately reaching flat ground; but it was soft and stony, and the Ilsa’s horse, after dragging his caravan for a few yards up it, could get no farther, and when Menzies-Legh put the roller behind the back wheel to prevent the Ilsa’s returning thither from whence it had just come the chain of the roller snapped, the roller, released, rolled away, and the Ilsa began to move backward on top of the Elsa, which in its turn began to move backward on top of the Ailsa, which in its turn began to move backward across the road in the direction of the ditch.
It was an unnerving spectacle; for it must be borne in mind that however small the caravans seemed when you were inside them when you were outside they looked like mighty monsters, towering above hedges, filling up all but wide roads, and striking awe into the hearts even of motorists, who got out of their way with the eager politeness otherwise rude persons display when confronted by yet greater powers of being disagreeable.
Menzies-Legh and the two young men, acting on some shouted directions from old James, rushed at the stones lying about and selecting the biggest placed them, I must say with commendable promptness, behind the Ilsa’s wheels, and what promised to be an appalling catastrophe was averted. I, who was reassuring Edelgard, was not able to help. She had asked me with ill-concealed anxiety whether I thought the caravans would begin to go backward in the night when we were inside them, and I was doing my best to calm her, only of course I had to point out that it was extremely windy; and quite a dirty and undesirable workman trudging by at that moment with his bag of tools on his back and his face set homeward, she stared after him and said: “Otto, how nice to be going to a house.”
“Come, come,” said I rallying her—but undoubtedly the weather was depressing.
We had to trace up the lane to the common. This was the first time that ominous verb fell upon my ear; how often it was destined to do so will be readily imagined by those of my countrymen who have ever visited the English county of Sussex supposing, which I doubt, that such there are. Its meaning is that you are delayed for any length of time from an hour upward at the bottom of each hill while the united horses drag one caravan after another to the top. On this first occasion the tracing chains we had brought with us behaved in the same way the roller chain had and immediately
snapped, and Menzies-Legh, moved to anger, inquired severely of old James how it was that everything we touched broke; but he, being innocent, was not very voluble, and Menzies-Legh soon left him alone. Happily we had another pair of chains with us. All this, however, meant great delays, and the rain had almost left off, and the sun was setting in a gloomy bank of leaden clouds across a comfortless distance and sending forth its last pale beams through thinning raindrops, by the time the first caravan safely reached the common.
If any of you should by any chance, however remote, visit Panthers, pray go to Grib’s (or Grip’s—in spite of repeated inquiries I at no time discovered which it was) Common, and picture to yourselves our first night in that bleak
It was an unnerving spectacle refuge. For it was a refuge—the alternative being to march along blindly till the next morning, which was, of course, equivalent to not being an alternative at all—but how bleak a one! Gray shadows were descending on it, cold winds were whirling round it, the grass was, naturally, dripping, and scattered in and out among the furze bushes were the empty sardine and other tins of happier sojourners. These last objects were explained by the presence of a hop-field skirting one side of the common, a hop-field luckily not yet in that state which attracts hop-pickers, or the common would hardly
have been a place to which gentlemen care to take their wives. On the opposite side to the hop-field the ground fell away, and the tips of two hopkilns peered at us over the edge. In front of us, concealed by the furze and other bushes of a prickly, clinging nature, lay the road, along which people going home to houses, as Edelgard put it, were constantly hurrying. All round, except on the hop-field side, we could see much farther than we wanted to across a cheerless stretch of country. The three caravans were drawn up in a row facing the watery sunset, because the wind chiefly came from the east (though it also came from all round) and the backs of the vans offered more resistance to its fury than any other side of them, there being only one small wooden window in that portion of them which, being kept carefully shut by us during the whole tour, would have been infinitely better away.
I hope my hearers see the caravans: if not it seems to me I read in vain. Square—or almost square—brown boxes on wheels, the door in front, with a big aperture at the side of it shut at night by a wooden shutter and affording a pleasant prospect (when there was one) by day, a much too good-sized window on each side, the bald back with no relief of any sort unless the larders can be regarded as such, for the little shutter window I have mentioned became invisible when shut, and inside an impression (I never use a word other than deliberately), an impression, then, I say, of snugness, produced by the green carpet, the green arras lining to the walls, the green eider-down quilts on the beds, the green portière dividing the main room from the small portion in front which we used as a dressing room, the flowered curtains, the row of gaily bound books on a shelf, and the polish of the brass candle brackets that seemed to hit me every time I moved. What became of this impression in the case of one reasonable man, too steady to be blown hither and thither by passing gusts of enthusiasm, perhaps the narrative will disclose.
Meanwhile the confusion on the common was indescribable. I can even now on calling it to mind only lift up hands of amazement. To get the three horses out was in itself no easy task for persons unaccustomed to such work, but to get the three tables out and try to unfold them and make them stand straight on the uneven turf was much worse. All things in a caravan have hinges and flaps, the idea being that they shall take up little room; but if they take up little room they take up a great deal of time, and that first night when there was not much of it these patent arrangements which made each chair
and table a separate problem added considerably to the prevailing chaos. Having at length set them out on wet grass, table-cloths had to be extracted from the depths of the yellow boxes in each caravan and spread upon them, and immediately they blew away on to the furze bushes. Recaptured and respread they immediately did it again. Mrs. Menzies-Legh, when I ventured to say that I would not go and fetch them next time they did it, told me to weigh them down with the knives and forks, but nobody knew where they were, and their discovery having defied our united intelligences for an immense amount of precious time was at last the result of the merest chance, for who could have dreamed they were concealed among the bedding? As for Edelgard, I completely lost control over her. She seemed to slip through my fingers like water. She was everywhere, and yet nowhere. I do not know what she did, but I know that she left me quite unaided, and I found myself performing the most menial tasks, utterly unfit for an officer, such as fetching cups and saucers and arranging spoons in rows. Nor, if I had not witnessed it, would I ever have believed that the preparation of eggs and coffee was so difficult. What could be more frugal than such a supper? Yet it took the united efforts for nearly two hours of seven highly civilized and intelligent beings to produce it. Edelgard said that that was why it did, but I at once told her that to reason that the crude and the few are more capable than the clever and the many was childish.
When, with immense labour and infinite conversation, this meagre fare was at last placed upon the tables it was so late that we had to light our lanterns in order to be able to see it; and my hearers who have never been outside the sheltered homes of Storchwerder and know nothing about what can happen to them when they do will have difficulty in picturing us gathered round the tables in that gusty place, vainly endeavouring to hold our wraps about us, our feet in wet grass and our heads in a stormy darkness. The fitful flicker of the lanterns played over rapidly cooling eggs and grave faces. It was indeed a bad beginning, enough to discourage the stoutest holiday-maker. This was not a holiday: this was privation combined with exposure. Frau von Eckthum was wholly silent. Even Mrs. Menzies-Legh, although she tried to laugh, produced nothing but hollow sounds. Edelgard only spoke once, and that was to say that the coffee was very bad and might she make it unaided another time, a remark and a question received with a gloomy assent. Menzies-Legh was by this time extremely anxious about the girls, and though his wife still said they were naughty and would be scolded
it was with an ever-fainter conviction. The two young men sat with their shoulders hunched up to their ears in total silence. No one, however, was half so much deserving of sympathy as myself and Edelgard, who had been travelling since the previous morning and more than anybody needed good food and complete rest. But there were hardly enough scrambled eggs to go round, most of them having been broken in the jolting up the lane on to the common, and after the meal, instead of smoking a cigar in the comparative quiet and actual dryness of one’s caravan, I found that everybody had to turn to and—will it be believed?—wash up.
“No servants, you know—so free, isn’t it?” said Mrs. Menzies-Legh, pressing a cloth into one of my hands and a fork into the other, and indicating a saucepan of hot water with a meaning motion of her forefinger.
Well, I had to. My hearers must not judge me harshly. I am aware that it was conduct unbecoming in an officer, but the circumstances were unusual. Menzies-Legh and the young men were doing it too, and I was taken by surprise. Edelgard, when she saw me thus employed, first started in astonishment and then said she would do it for me.
“No, no, let him do it,” quickly interposed Mrs. Menzies-Legh, almost as though she liked me to wash up in the same saucepan as herself.
But I will not dwell on the forks. We were still engaged in the amazingly difficult and distasteful work of cleaning them when the rain suddenly descended with renewed fury. This was too much. I slipped away from Mrs. Menzies-Legh’s side into the darkness, whispered to Edelgard to follow, and having found my caravan bade her climb in after me and bolt the door. What became of the remaining forks I do not know—there are limits to that which a man will do in order to have a clean one. Stealthily we undressed in the dark so that our lighted windows might not betray us—“Let them each,” I said to myself with grim humour, “suppose that we are engaged helping one of the others”—and then, Edelgard having ascended into the upper berth and I having crawled into the lower, we lay listening to the loud patter of the rain on the roof so near our faces (especially Edelgard’s), and marvelled that it should make a noise that could drown not only every sound outside but also our voices when we, by shouting, endeavoured to speak.
CHAPTER V
UNDER the impression that I had not closed my eyes all night I was surprised to find when I opened them in the morning that I had. I must have slept, and with some soundness; for there stood Edelgard, holding back the curtain that concealed me when in bed from the gaze of any curious should the caravan door happen to burst open, already fully dressed and urging me to get up. It is true that I had been dreaming I was still between Flushing and Queenboro’, so that in my sleep I was no doubt aware of the heavings of the caravan while she dressed; for a caravan gives, so to speak, to every movement of the body, and I can only hope that if any of you ever go in one the other person in the bed above you may be a motionless sleeper. Indeed, I discovered that after all it was not an advantage to occupy the lower bed. While the rain was striking the roof with the deafening noise of unlimited and large stones I heard nothing of Edelgard, though I felt every time she moved. When, however, it left off, the creakings and crunchings of her bed and bedding (removed only a few inches from my face) every time she turned round were so alarming that disagreeable visions crossed my mind of the bed, unable longer to sustain a weight greater perhaps than what it was meant to carry, descending in toto in one of these paroxysms upon the helpless form (my own) stretched beneath. Clearly if it did I should be very much hurt, and would quite likely suffocate before assistance could be procured. These visions, however, in spite of my strong impression of unclosed eyes, must ultimately and mercifully have been drowned in sleep, and my bed being very comfortable and I at the end of my forces after the previous day when I did sleep I did it soundly and I also apparently did it long; for the sun was coming through the open window accompanied by appetizing smells of hot coffee when Edelgard roused me by the information that breakfast was ready, and that as everybody seemed hungry if I did not come soon I might as well not come at all.
She had put my clothes out, but had brought me no hot water because she said the two sisters had told her it was too precious, what there was being wanted for washing up. I inquired with some displeasure whether I, then, were less important than forks, and to my surprise Edelgard replied that it depended on whether they were silver; which was, of course, perilously near repartee. She immediately on delivering this left the caravan, and as I could
not go to the door to call her back—as she no doubt recollected—I was left to my cold water and to my surprise. For though I had often noticed a certain talent she has in this direction (my hearers will remember instances) it had not yet been brought to bear personally on me. Repartee is not amiss in the right place, but the right place is never one’s husband. Indeed, on the whole I think it is a dangerous addition to a woman, and best left alone. For is not that which we admire in woman womanliness? And womanliness, as the very sound of the word suggests, means nothing that is not round, and soft, and pliable; the word as one turns it on one’s tongue has a smoothly liquid sound as of sweet oil, or precious ointment, or balm, that very well expresses our ideal. Sharp tongues, sharp wits—what are these but drawbacks and blots on the picture?
Such (roughly) were my thoughts while I washed in very little and very cold water, and putting on my clothes was glad to see that Edelgard had at least brushed them. I had to pin the curtains carefully across the windows because breakfast was going on just outside, and hurried heads kept passing to and fro in search, no doubt, of important parts of the meal that had either been forgotten or were nowhere to be found.
I confess I thought they might have waited with breakfast till I came. It is possible that Frau von Eckthum was thinking so too; but as far as the others were concerned I was dealing, I remembered, with members of the most inconsiderate nation in Europe. And besides, I reflected, it was useless to look for the courtesy we in Germany delight to pay to rank and standing among people who had neither of these things themselves. For what was Menzies-Legh? A man with much money (which is vulgar) and no title at all. Neither in the army, nor in the navy, nor in the diplomatic service, not even the younger son of a titled family, which in England, as perhaps my hearers have heard with surprise, is a circumstance sometimes sufficient to tear the title a man would have had in any other country from him and send him forth a naked Mr. into the world—Menzies-Legh, I suppose, after the fashion of our friend the fabled fox in a similar situation, saw no dignity in, nor any reason why he should be polite to, noble foreign grapes. And his wife’s original good German blood had become so thoroughly undermined by the action of British microbes that I could no longer regard her as a daughter of one of our oldest families; while as for the two young men, on asking Menzies-Legh the previous evening over that damp and dreary supper of insufficient eggs who they were, being forced to do so by his not having
as a German gentleman would have done given me every information at the earliest opportunity of his own accord, with details as to income, connections, etc., so that I would know the exact shade of cordiality my behaviour toward them was to be tinged with—on asking Menzies-Legh, I repeat, he merely told me that the one with the spectacles and the hollow cheeks and the bull terrier was Browne, who was going into the Church, and the other with the Pomeranian and the round, hairless face was Jellaby.
Concerning Jellaby he said no more. Who and what he was except pure Jellaby I would have been left to find out by degrees as best I could if I had not pressed him further, and inquired whether Jellaby also were going into the Church, and if not what was he going into?
Menzies-Legh replied—not with the lively and detailed interest a German gentleman would have displayed talking about the personal affairs of a friend, but with an appearance of being bored that very extraordinarily came over him whenever I endeavoured to talk to him on topics of real interest, and disappeared whenever he was either doing dull things such as marching, or cleaning his caravan, or discussing tiresome trivialities with the others such as some foolish poem lately appeared, or the best kind of kitchen ranges to put into the cottages he was building for old women on his estates —that Jellaby was not going into anything, being in already; and that what he was in was the House of Commons, where he was not only a member of the Labour Party but also a Socialist.
I need not say that I was considerably upset. Here I was going to live, as the English say, cheek by jowl for a substantial period with a Socialist member of Parliament, and it was even then plain to me that the caravan mode of life encourages, if I may so express it, a degree of cheek by jowlishness unsurpassed, nay, unattained, by any other with which I am acquainted. To descend to allegory, and taking a Prussian officer of noble family as the cheek, how terrible to him of all persons on God’s earth must be a radical jowl. Since I am an officer and a gentleman it goes without saying that I am also a Conservative. You cannot be one without the others, at least not comfortably, in Germany. Like the three Graces, these other three go also hand in hand. The King of Prussia is, I am certain, in his heart passionately Conservative. So also I have every reason to believe is God Almighty. And from the Conservative point of view (which is the only right one) all Liberals are bad—bad, unworthy, and unfit; persons with whom one would never dream of either dining or talking; persons dwelling in so low a
mental and moral depth that to dwell in one still lower seems almost extravagantly impossible. Yet in that lower depth, moving about like those blind monsters science tells us inhabit the everlasting darkness of the bottom of the seas, beyond the reach of light, of air, and of every Christian decency, dwells the Socialist. And who can be a more impartial critic than myself? Excluded by my profession from any opinion or share in politics I am able to look on with the undisturbed impartiality of the disinterested, and I see these persons as a danger to my country, a danger to my King, and a danger (if I had any) to my posterity. In consequence I was very cold to Jellaby when he asked me to pass him something at supper—I think it was the salt. It is true he is prevented by his nationality from riddling our Reichstag with his poisonous theories (not a day would I have endured his company if he had been a German) but the broad principle remained, and as I dressed I reflected with much ruefulness that even as it was his presence was almost compromising, and I could not but blame Frau von Eckthum for not having informed me of its imminence beforehand.
And the other—the future pastor, Browne. A pastor is necessary and even very well at a christening, a marriage, or an interment; but for mingling purposes on common social ground—no. Sometimes at public dinners in Storchwerder there has been one in the background, but he very properly remained in it; and once or twice dining with our country neighbours their pastor and his wife were present, and the pastor said grace and his wife said nothing, and they felt they were not of our class, and if they had not felt it of themselves they would very quickly have been made to feel it by others. This is all as it should be: perfectly natural and proper; and it was equally natural and proper that on finding I was required to do what the English call hobnob with a future pastor I should object. I did object strongly. And decided, while I dressed, that my attitude toward both Jellaby and Browne should be of the chilliest coolness.
Now in this narrative nothing is to be hidden, for I desire it to be a real and sincere human document, and I am the last man, having made a mistake, to pass it over in silence. My friends shall see me as I am, with all my human weaknesses and, I hope, some at least of my human strengths. Not that there is anything to be ashamed of in the matter of him Menzies-Legh spoke baldly of as Browne—rather should Menzies-Legh have been ashamed of leading me through his uncommunicativeness into a natural error; for how could I be supposed to realize that the singular nation places the Church as a
