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AGE OF VAMPIRES #4
CAROLINE PECKHAM
SUSANNE VALENTI
Wrathful Mortals
AgeofVampires#4
Copyright©2024CarolinePeckham&SusanneValenti
Themoralrightoftheauthorshavebeenasserted Withoutinanywaylimitingtheauthors',CarolinePeckhamandSusanneValenti's,andthepublisher'sexclusiverightsundercopyright,anyuseofthispublicationto“train” generativeartificialintelligence(AI)technologiestogenerateanyworks/images/text/videosisexpresslyprohibited TheauthorsreserveallrightstolicenseusesofthisworkforgenerativeAItraininganddevelopmentofmachinelearninglanguagemodels
InteriorFormatting&DesignbyWildEleganceFormatting MapDesignbyFredKroner ArtworkbyStellaColorado Allrightsreserved.
Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedortransmittedbyanymeans,electronic,mechanical,photocopyingorotherwise,withoutthepriorpermissionofthecopyright owner
WrathfulMortals/CarolinePeckham&SusanneValenti–2nded
This book is dedicated to all those who find themselves fighting a war within their own hearts. Torn in two directions, unsure of where their feet belong You will find your way between the balance of night and day, moon and sun Between the shadows and the light is where you belong
Awarriorbornbutmonstermade, Changesfatesofsoulsenslaved. Twinsofsunandmoonwillrise, Whenonehaslivedathousandlives. Acircleofgoldshalljointwosouls, Andadebtpaidrightswrongsofold. Inaholymountaintheearthwillheal, Thenthedeadshalllive,andthecursewillkeel.
1000YEARSAGO
MyfamilyandImadecampinthewoodsclosetothebattlegrounds.ThelandsofAtbringerwouldbenourishedbyblood fordecadestocome Bloodspilledbymyhand Myteeth
Miles satbeside Fabianona logas theyspoke inlow murmurs, butIkeptawayfromthem, mybackto the circle we'd formedunderthewaningmoon
Claricemovedtomyside,takingmyhandinhers.“Wehadtokillthemortheywouldhavekilledus.”
“Every war is the same,” I said darkly. “Who is it we're fighting for? I don't see worthy creatures sitting here. I see monstersmadebyawrathfulgod.”
“We are your family,” she urged,squeezingmyfingers.“Ilove youandour brothers more thananything.We can'tletthe slayerswin”
“Maybetheyshouldwin,”Imuttered.“DidyouseewhatIbecametoday?”
Claricerestedherheadonmyshoulderandhergoldenlockscascadeddownmyarm,herclosenessbringingsomemeasure ofpeacetomysoul.Ihadgonesolongwithoutcontact,andhertouchwasabalmagainstmyskin,evenifthetwoofuswereas cold as ice. We were cleanat least after we'd washed the blood fromour bodies inanicyriver. We were immune to the freezingwater,andithauntedmethatIwouldneverfeelthewarmthofsummer,northebiteoffrostagain.
“You'reagoodman,Erik,”Claricepromised,andIreleasedadrylaugh.
“Good?Howcanyouthinkthat?IamavesselforAndvaritofillwithblood”
“Ifwe'rehispawns,perhapsit'snotourfault,”shemurmured,anoteofhopegildinghervoice.
“Manymenbeforeushaveblamedthegodsfortheirmisgivings Thatdoesnotmakethemright Westillhavefreewill”I toyedwiththebladeinmyhand.Onestrike,deepandtrue,wouldendmyplagueonthisworld.Buttheafterlifewouldbring me no peace. What I had done would leave a permanent stainonmyruinous soul and I would payfor it if I ever stepped beyonddeath Remaininghere inthis bodydidn'tseemlike a better alternative though AndatleastifIwas inthe depths of Náströndbeingpunishedformycrimes,Icouldnolongerkillinnocentpeople.
Clarice gripped the hiltofmyblade, prisingitfrommyfingers “Do notdo somethingfoolish Ilove you, brother You mustn’tgiveup.”
Anachegrewinmyheart “Icannotremainlikethis,Clarice Ithoughtperhapschangingtheslayerwarriorintooneofus wastheanswer.Buthereweare,stillinourcursedforms.Ithaschangednothing,andIhavecursedanothersoul.”
“Thatslayer mayhave destroyed the lastofthe clans bynow,” Fabiancalled. “Itcould have changed everything. Ifthe slayersarealldead,therewillbenoonelefttohuntorpersecuteus”
Ididn'tturntohim,growingirritatedbyhislackofguilt.
“Yourprioritiesareallwrong,Fabian,”Isnarled,gazingatthedirtbymyfeet
“Mypriorityiskeepingusalive.Theslayersweremadetokillus.Iftheyaregone,wearefree.” Irosesharply,turningtohim,andMilescaughtFabian'sarm,tryingtokeephimbackasafiercetensioncrackledbetween us
“And how longdo youthinkthe gods will keep things that way? Theycanmake slayers at their whim. If theywant us challenged,we will bechallenged”MyshoulderstensedasFabianbaredhisfangs “Thenwewillkillthemtoo,”Fabiangrowled,steppingcloser.
“Stopfighting,”Milesgroaned,givinguponholdingFabianback “Ijustwanttogohome” “Toyourbandoffuckingmindlessfollowers?”Ispatathim.“You'reallgivingintothecurse,everyoneofyou.”Irounded onClarice and she gave me a guiltylookas Ipointed ather. “Youdraw mento youlike moths to a flame, promisingthem eternity in your arms if only they can entertain you long enough And Miles, you offer out the curse like it's a gift to be bestoweduponthoseyoudeemworthy.Youareallbuildinganarmyofcreaturesjustlikeus,andforwhat?Foreveryoneofus youmake,anotherslayerwillbeborn Thegodswillnotletuswin Theydonotwantustoprevail” “Idisagree.” Fabianfolded his arms, his furyseemingto have dissipated a fraction. “Perhaps this is a giftmore thana curse Perhapstheydowantustoprosper”
“Youweretherewhentheykilledourfamilies!”Iroared,losingcontrolofmyemotions.“Youweptatyoursisters’deaths. Yousawwhattheydidtoourmothersandfathers.Thiswasnogift;itisourpunishmentfortheircrime.Anditiseternal.” Fabianstalkedaroundtheedgeofthesmall clearing,infuriatedbymytone “Perhapsthegodshavechangedtheir minds Perhapstheyaretakingpityonusnow.Wewonthatbattle.Theycouldhaveintervenediftheydidn'twantustosucceed.” IthoughtofAndvariandhowhe'dgivenmethestrengthtowin,urgingmeonwitheverydeathIclaimed Fabianwasright inonesense;Andvariwasn'tdonewithusyet.Butpity?Iwasn'tenoughofafooltobelievethat.
“Andvaridoesn'twantusdead,hewantsustormented,”Igrowled.
“Andvari?”Fabianhissed.“DoesthegreatAndvarispeaktoyou,brother,becausehehasneveronceansweredme.” Miles'sbrowsrose.“Doeshe?”heaskedmehopefully.
“Yes,”Isighed “Hehasspokentomemanytimes”
“And?”Clariceasked,takingmyhandagainandgivingmeadesperatelook.
“He'slying!”Fabianbellowed,liftingalogfromthegroundandthrowingitintothetrees Withatremendouscrash,another treewasuprootedbythecollisionandsmashedtotheforestfloor.
“Iamnotlying,”Isnarled,mymusclesflexing.
IfFabianwantedafight,I'dhappilygivehimone.IhadtoomuchenergytoexpendandI'drevelintakingitoutonhim. “Youwentinsane inthatcave.Itoldyounottogo.” Fabianroundedonme once more,his eyes narrowingsharply.“My brotherwentinthere,butamadmanhaswalkedout”
“You'rejustenviousbecauseAndvarichosehimandnotyou,”Milesbitathimthenturnedhisgazetome.“Ibelieveyou, Erik WhatdidAndvarisaytoyou?”
Ishookmyhead,pullingawayfromClarice'shold.“Justmoreriddlesandlaughter.Hewishestotauntus,that'sall.”
Silence reigned and Miles fell into a darkreverie, gazinginto the trees withtotal dejection. Fabianstalked around the camp,evidentlystillhankeringforafight,butifwewentthere,Iwouldonlyregretitintheend
Ipickedupmybladeandheadedintotheforest,needingtogetaway.ClaricecalledaftermebutIignoredher,movinginto theshadowswheremysoulbelonged
WhenI'dmovedfarenoughfromtheothers,usingmyenhancedspeedtoraceawayintotheheartoftheancientwoodland,I tookaseatbeneathabirchtreeandweighedthebladeinmypalm
Iwas no coward, butfacinganeternityinNáströnd still frightened me. I’d be tornapartbythe beasts thatlurked inthe underworld,feastingonmyfleshforalloftime.ItwasnolessthanIdeserved,anddeathwassoveryeasytoseize…
Irestedthetipofmyweaponagainstmychest,andmyheartgrewheavyasifitlongedforthepierceofthebladetoendits suffering.Onedeepstabanditwouldbedone.EitherIwouldbecomenothing,orthegodswouldstealawaymysoul,weighit intheirpalmsanddecidemyfateintheafterlife Consideringwhattheyhadofferedmeinlife,IhadnodoubtIwouldfacefar worseindeath.
Igazedupatthecanopy,glimpsingthecanvasofstarsabove “I'vetriedtorightyourwrongs,Mother Father SometimesI despise you. Butmostofall Iwishto forgive you. To putthe paininmyheartto restfor whatyouhave caused.” The starspangledskyseemedtowatchwithbatedbreath,whisperingaboutwhetherIwouldgothroughwithkillingmyself.
“I'mdone,”Iwhispered Tome ToAndvari Tomyfamily “Iwillnotbeabaneuponthisworldanylonger” Ipushedthebladehard,butnopaincame.SoItookthehiltinbothhandsanddroveitinward,thoughstillnocrackofribs followed Myskinwasirontomostmen,butthatshouldn'thavestopped me
Andvari'schucklinglaughterfilledtheair.“Iwouldneverletyoutakethispath,ErikLarsen.”
Igroundmyteeth,furysproutinginmychestandgrowingdeeproots.
“Letmedie,”Isnarled.
“Deathis easy,”Andvari purredfrombetweenthetrees.“Iwill seeyousuffer ineverywaythis worldhas togive.And
thenperhapsIwillletyoudieandtastethepainofthenetherworld-ifyoudonotbreakthecursefirst,thatis.”
“ThenIshallwalkintoacampofslayersandtheywillendmeinstead.”
Andvari'spresenceshiftedaroundme,andtheleavesstirredatmyfeet Icouldalmostsensehimkneelingbeforeme,thena warmhandrestedonmyknee.“Idisliketheslayers,Draugr.TheyareIdun’screation,madetothwartme.Iwillgiftyouwhat youneedtofightthem”
“ThenIamjustyour puppet,” Isaid, the words more for me thanhim. Iwas trapped here livingthis life until Andvari decidedotherwise Andthattruthtastedbitteronmytongue
Droppingthebladeintomylap,Irestedmyheadbackagainstthetree.“Whatdoyouwantfrommeandmyfamily?”
Andvariseemedtosigh.Icouldfeelitinthewaythetreesbowedtothewindandtheleavesswirledinthegust.“Itistime thevampiresrosetopower Tellyourbrothersandsistertosireasmanyhumansastheycan Buildanarmy,Erik Achallenge iscomingtoyoulikenoneyouhaveeverfacedbefore.Yourfamilycanonlybesavedifyourisetomeetit.”
Ifelthispresencewaningandlurchedforward,certainhewasabouttoleave “Theywillnotbelieveme Youmustspeak tothemyourself.”
Andvarilaughed “Iwillspeaktotheminsongsandpoemsandsonnets Iwillspeaktotheminthearcoftherisingsunand theshadowofthecrescentmoon.”
“Youmakenosense,”Igrowled.
“Imakeperfectsense ThemeaningisthatIamalwayshere Iamalwayswatching” “Thenspeakwiththem!”Ibarked.
Theairshudderedbeforemyeyesandasmallstreambubbledandsteamedjustafewfeetfromme Irose,movingtoward itatacautiouspace.ThewaterstilledandIgazedintoitasamanseemedtoswimupfromitsshallowdepths.Andvarirose fromthewaterlikeareflectionsteppingfrompolishedglass.Hewasinhisownform,justashe'dbeenthedayhe'dcursedus. Hiseyeswereasblackastarandhisskinnear-translucent.Hishairwasacoarsetangleofbrownlocksakintoweeds,andhis darkrobeswereperfectlydry,movingabouthimlikethelappingofawave.
“Leadtheway,”hewhisperedwithacruelsmile
Turningmybackonhimfeltdangerous,butIwasalreadysnaredinhisclaws.Hecouldendmeaseasilyashecouldsave me
I guided himback to my family, finding themall gathered on the fallen log with sullen expressions. Stepping aside, I allowed Andvari to move pastme, myskinpricklingwithtension. His feetwere bare and hardlytouched the ground as he movedtowardthem,andeventhegrassseemedtoturnhisway,enrapturedbyhispower. Mybrothersandsistershrankbeforehim,theirstrengthnothingincomparisontothisdeity. Whenhespoke,hiswordswerefluidandsoft “Satonbyaruler,polishedbyamaid WhatamI?”
ClariceglancedatMiles,andhetentativelyslidanarmaroundhershoulders.
“Athrone?”Fabianguessed,gettingtohisfeet,hiseyeswidewithawe Andvarilaughed,openinghisarms.“Yes.Anditistimeyoutakeit,friends.” Myhandscurledupintofistsasmyfamilyfellunderhisspell,noddingtheiragreement. “How?”Milesasked,hisgazeglitteringwithhope
“Thereisalandfarfromhere,notyetclaimedbykingsorqueens.Itistimeyougothere.Thenyoumustwaituntiltheday ofreckoningarrives Andwhenitdoes youmayseize power Butdonotsquander the time youhave Make your monsters Breatheimmortallifeintoeverydeservingsoulyoucanfind.”
“Isthattheanswertoyourprophecy?”Ihissed,steppingforwardsoAndvarihadtoacknowledgeme “Doyouthinkitis?”Andvari'spitchblackirisesdraggedoverme. Ishookmyhead,havingnoanswer.
“WhatisitItoldyouofthesunandmoon?”hewhispered,driftingcloser Iswallowedthe hardlumpgrowinginmythroat.Ididn'twanttovoice thatanswer.Ifearedhow mybrothers andsister wouldtakeit ButAndvari'ssmilingfaceturnedintoagrimace,andIknewIhadnochoice Idrewupthememoriesofmytime inthedarkcaveandrepeatedwhatI'dlearned.
“Wecanbirthchildrenwithhumans Twinsperhaps ”Iglancedupattheskyandthestarsdimmed,liketheydidnotdare toshinetoobrightinAndvari’spresence.
“Isthattheanswer?”Clariceaskedexcitedly,hereyesbrighterthantheyhadbeeninyears.
Andvarismiledaroundatusall “Youhavemuchtodo Beginwiththenearesttown Sireasmanyasyoucanandheadto thelastoftheslayerclans.FinishthebattlebeforeIduncancreateanotherarmy.Buyyourselvestimestorise.”
Hopereareditsheadinmychest
“They'restillalive?”FabianaskedandAndvarinodded.
Withthat,leavescoileduparoundthegod,swirlinginavortexuntil hewascompletelyconcealed.Whenthewinddied, theyfelllimponthegroundandAndvariwasgone.
Uncertaintyburnedthroughmeasmyfamilybeganspeakingexcitedly.IfearedwithallmyheartwhatAndvarihadsaid.He
hadtrickedmeonthebattlefield,andIwassurethiswasanotherofhisgames.Thelookinmyfamily'seyestoldmeI'dnever convincethemofthat.
Siringhumanswasadangerousthing Ididn'twanttobestowthiscurseonanyone,butperhapsIneededalliesbeyondmy familynow.Peoplewhocouldhelpusfigureoutthisriddle.Menandwomenwithknowledgeofthegods.Andatleastwhen thecursewasbroken,theywouldbefreeofittoo
TherewasonethingI'dneverdo,however.AndImadeasteelypromisetomyselfthatI'dneverbearachildwithahuman. IwouldnotbefooledbyAndvariagain,butfromthewaymybrothersandsisterwerespeakingexcitedly,Isensedtheywould notbesoeasilyswayedfromthispath.
Thestormcontinuedtopummelusaswefledfromthecathedral,leavingErikandtheotherroyalsfarbehindalongwiththe shatteredpiecesofmyheart.
Juliustookthelead,headingdownadarkenedalleyandhurriedlyliftingupacircularmanholecoveratthecentreofit MagnargrabbedCallie'sarm.“Yougofirst,”hecommandedasifhewasafraidshemightturnbackandsomethingabout hishardtonesetthehairsrisingalongmyarms.
IexpectedCallietobitebackathim,butshedidn’thesitate,quicklydescendingtheladderintothedark MypulsetickedfasterasIhalted,watchingasMagnarfollowedher,thenJuliusturnedtomeexpectantly.
Iglancedover myshoulder,gazingbackatthe rain-sweptstreet,shiveringas the coldcreptintomybones Mywedding dresswasheavy,soddenandfilthy,atrainofwhiteturningblackatmyfeet.Bloodtainteditspurecolourwitharedtingefrom thosevampireswhohadnotmetapermanentend
Thebitemarksonmyskinweresore,butthevenomhadbeenwashedoutbytherain,leavingatrailofsilvermarringmy flesh.Butnothingstungdeeperthanleavingmyprisonbehind,theshameofthatsomethingIcouldneverputwordsto.
Erikinvadedmymindandthecrossonmyleftpalmburnedwithanintensitythatbeggedmetogobacktohim Torunand neverstoprunninguntilIwasbackinhisarms.
“Comeon,”Juliusurged,movingtowardmewithathreatinhisstance
Iswallowedthelumpinmythroat,forcingmylegstomovemeinthedirectionofthedrain.Therewasnogoingback.
“Youbelongwithus,”Juliusmurmured,reachingouttosqueezemyhand,hisskinburninghotincomparisontomine Ididn'tanswer,unsureifthatwastrue.MyheartcravedErikinawaythatmademybodyache.ButI'dmademychoice. AndI'dchosenfamily.Iwouldalwayschoosefamily.
Withasharpbreath,Iloweredmyselfontotheladder withintheholeandJulius's hugeformcastashadow over meas I descendedintothethickdarkness.
AsIprisedmynumbfingersfromtherungs,Callie'sarmswrappedaroundme Ileanedintoherembrace,utterlyrelieved tobeproperlyreunitedatlast.Withmysister’sheartbeatingsolidlyintimewithmine,IknewI'dmadetherightdecision.She neededme,andIneededherjustasmuch.Weweren’tmeanttowalkinthisworldwithoutoneanother.
Theheavythunkofthemanholecoverslidingintoplacesounded,thenJulius'sbootsthumpedagainsttheladder. “Areyouokay?”Calliewhispered.
“Yes,”Ireplied,eventhoughitwasn'ttrue “Areyou?”
“No,”sheanswered,releasingme.
ThebrightlightonJulius'scellphonesuddenlyblindedmeandIliftedahandtoshieldmyeyes
Callie floated toward the ladder, anxious lines formingonher brow. Witha burstofenergy, she started climbingit, her movementsdesperateassheracedforthesurface.
“Whatthe fuckare youdoing?” Julius snatched her waist, rippingher offofitas she tried to claw his fingers fromher
dress.
“Callie,”Ireachedforher,anxietytearingthroughmychest.
“Ihavetogoback,”shegroaned,thenthumpedherforeheadwiththeheelofherpalm “No,shit Idon't Elder,helpme,” shepleaded,reachingforMagnarwithadesperatelookinhereyes.
“Youwillfollowus,”Magnarrepliedinthatforbiddingtoneagain,hiseyesasdarkasthetunnelsurroundingus CallieimmediatelyfellstillinJulius'sarms,noddingfirmly,andIfrowned,lookingbetweenthem.
“What’sgoingon?Whydidyoucallhimthat?”Iaskedmysister
“I’llexplaineverythingsoon,”Calliesaid,herexpressiontaut.“Wejustneedtogetoutofhere.”
Inodded,butmyownfeetstartedguidingmebacktotheladderandasIgazeddownatthecrossonmypalm,Iwassureit wasmybondtoErikdrivingmymovements Iforciblyshookoffthefeelingandre-joinedmysister,takingherhandandeyeing theXonherpalm.
“It'sthis Thisiswhat'stryingtodriveyoubacktoFabian,”Isaiddarkly
Thisstrangebondmusthavebeenthereasonshe'dthrownherselfinfrontoftheroyalbrothertosavehimfromdeathtoo. Hereyesshimmeredasshenodded “IsthishowErik'sbeencontrollingyou?”sheaskedinhorror AlumplodgedinmythroatandJuliusraisedaneyebrowatme,theirscrutinymakingmychesttighten. Ihesitated,notwantingtoliebutnotwantingtoadmitthetrutheither.Becausethetruthwasaterriblething. “It'smakingyouwanttogobacktohim,isn'tit?”Callieasked “Yeah...itis,”Iadmitted,stayingwithinthelinesofthetruth. But that's not the only thing making me want to go back. “Ihatethemevenmorenowforthis They'reinourheads,”Calliegrowledandrageglowedinhereyes Idropped mygaze, knowingIcouldn'tbe honestbecause itmightjustcostme everythingwithCallie. She despised the vampires,andshehadeveryrightto.Hell,Idespisedmostofthemtoo.Butnotallofthem.AndIwassurroundedbythelast peopleintheworldwhocouldeverbeswayedtoseeanygoodinthem.
Partofmewanteditalltohavebeensometwistedmanipulation,somespellErikhadcastonme,becausethenIknewI’d have a hope ofbeingfree ofitintime Buta deeper partofme didn’twantthatatall,because itmeantthatall those secret momentsErikandIhadshared,theoneswhichhadlitafireinmeandmademefeel thingsI’dneverthoughtpossible,were liesmadetoshatter
“Yeah,”Imuttered,hatingmyselfforkeepingthetruthfrommytwin,buthowcouldIexplaintoCalliethatthismarkonly solidified mylove for Erik? That I'd cared for himlongbefore the wedding, that I liked the wildness that came out inme aroundhim.
Calliesighed,seemingtotakecomfortinoursharedpredicament.“Oncewe’refarawayfromthem,we’llfigureouthow tobreakthesebonds Thenwe’llneverhavetothinkofthemagainuntilwe’redrivingabladeintotheirhearts”
Inoddedvaguely. I’m so fucked.
JuliusstrodeafterMagnardownthetunnelandIfollowedalongwithCallie,grapplingwiththeconflictinsideme “Howdidyougettothecity?”Iasked,wantingtodistractmyselffrommythoughts.Wehadsomuchtosaytoeachother, butIcouldn'tbringmyselftomentiondadjustyet.ThemomentIdid,myheartwasgoingtofractureandthepainwouldspill outuntilitwasallIcouldfeel
Calliestartedrecountingherstoryfromthemomentshe'dlefttheRealmtowhenshe'dtakenthetraintoNewYorkCityand poisonedthebloodsupply,enrapturingmewitheverypieceofthejourney
Whenshe told me abouttakingthe slayers' vow, myheartthundered violentlyinmychest. She was bound byMagnar’s commands Butworsethanthat,shehadsworntokilltheBelvederes TokillErik
WhenCallieaskedaboutmytimeinthecity,Itriedtokeepitbrief.Ididn'tmentionhalfofwhatIshouldhaveaboutmy timewiththeroyals.Ijustcouldn'tbeartoseeherexpressionwhenItoldherhow Ireallyfelt.ThatIdidn'twantthemdead likeIusedto Thatsomeofthemweren'tallbad ShewouldthinkIwasbrainwashed,orworse,loseherfaithinmeentirely AndshewasallIhad.Icouldn’trisklosingheraftereverythingwe’dbeenthroughtoreunite.
Wewalkedonuntil thesubjectofDadhungtooheavilybetweenus toavoid ItookCallie's handandarippleofenergy flowedbetweenus.
“Youwerewithhim whenhedied,”Iwhispered,painlacingmytone Ididn'tneedtomentionwhoIwastalkingabout Sheknew.
“Yes,”shesaidonaraggedbreath.“AndIknowitsoundsinsane,butlikeIsaid,IcanDreamWalk.Ididitwithhimjust before ”
Inodded,myeyespricklingasIwaitedforhertocontinue.
“IsawMomtoo Theylookedhappy Ithinkmaybeitwasrealinsomeway Ithinkthey'reouttheresomewhere,together” Asolidlumpformedinmythroat,butItookaninchofcomfortfromherwords.PerhapsMomandDadweretogetherinan afterlife,waitingforustojointhemsomeday.“Ireallyhopeso.”
JuliusledustotheruinsandIwasrelievedtoleavethedanktunnelsbehindasweresurfacedaboveground.Itwasthethickof night,themoonpeeringthroughthecloudsabovelikeawatchfulcreaturelurkinginthesky.
Wecameupnearacrumbledoldplaygroundwhereachild'sswingwasmovingbackandforthinthebreeze Ishudderedat theeeriesight,followingJulius'sbroadformashedrewMenacefromitssheath.
“Everyone use your blades to feel for Familiars,” he commanded as Magnar released one ofthe large swords fromhis back.
Iraised Nightmare, tryingto do as he said and Callie eyed it withlonging The blade remained quiet, and Ihoped that meantweweresafe.
“Here.”MagnarturnedtoCallie,passingherhisotherglitteringsword.He'dtakenitbackaftertheirconflictoverFabian, andI’dwonderedifhedidn'ttrustherafterwhatshe'ddone
“Stayclose,”hemurmuredtoher,apitoflonginginhisgaze.Iglancedbetweenthetwoofthem,sensingsomethingmuch stronger betweenthemthanjust friendship Their eyes were constantlydrawnto one another, gazes lingeringtoo long, and unspokenwordsthickeningtheairinthespacethatpartedthem.
AsMagnarwalkedonwithJulius,IraisedaneyebrowatCallie
Sherolledhereyes,knowingexactlywhatIwassuggesting.We'dalwaysbeenabletocommunicatethroughlooksalone. Clearlyshe andMagnar were a thing.Andthatmade her situationa whole lotworse dependingonhow importantthatthing wastoher ShewastiedtoFabian;avampirewhoIhadnotrustforwhatsoever Anyonewouldhavebeenbetterthanhim
Raindropsspeckledmycheeksaswewalked,buttheragingstormhaddieddownenoughthatitdidn'tobscureour view anymore
Julius wavedus intoanalleybetweentwocrumblingrows ofbuildings andwehadtojogtokeepupwithhis ferocious pace.
Hedidn'tslowforafewhours,andIwassurewe'dlong-sincepassedouroldhideoutatthebelltower.
Whenhefinallydroppedhisspeedalittle,Ihurrieduptohim,runningmythumbover Nightmare'shilt.Iwonderedhow longwe’dbesafefor Erikmayhaveletmego,butsurelytheotherroyalswouldsendFamiliarsafterussoon “Wherearewegoing?”Iasked.
“Asfaraspossible,”Juliussaid “I'mnottakinganychances Therainwillkeepourscentdampened,sowe'lluseittoour advantagewhilewecan.”
MagnarglancedbackatCallieandIfollowedhisgaze.Shelookedsosmallallofasudden,likesomethinghadbrokenthe strengthwhichI'dseeninherjusthoursago.Shehuggedherarmsaroundherself,hergoldenhairdulledbytherainandsome ofthecoal-blackmakeuparoundhereyessmudgeddownhercheeks.
Ourdressesweresoddenanditwastakingeverythingwehadtokeepthecoldout Walkingatthispacewastheonlything stoppingmefromsuccumbingtoit.Iwonderedifshefeltthesamebecauseshedidn’tseemtobeshiveringasbadlyasIwas.
IturnedtojoinherbutMagnarbeatmetoit,droppinghisvoiceashespoketoher HereyeswarmedasshelookedupathimandIleftthemtoit,sensingtheywantedamomentalone.Thoughperhapsithurt justalittlethatshehadlookedtohiminsteadofme.
Juliusthrewmeadarksmile “So,thatmarkonyourpalmmustbecausingyoualotoftrouble” Iscowledathisjibing.“Yep.”
“IwillcutoutErikBelvedere'sheartsoyoucanberidofthiscruelbondthen”Julius'seyesglitteredwithmirth Ifrowneddarklyandwhispered,“Don'tsayanythingtoCallie.”
“Onyourheadbeit,”hemurmuredthenpickeduphispaceagain “Idonotwanttobearoundwhenthetruthcomesout” Ihurriedtokeeppace.“Itwon't.”
“Sure,”hesaidairily,haltingatanintersectionbeforetakingaleftturn. IgrittedmyteethasNightmarepouredheatintomyveins “Don’tbeanasshole”
“Don’tgoaskingtheimpossibleofme,”hewarnedandIblewoutabreathofamusement.
“SeriouslyJulius WhatIsaidtoyouaboutthevampires,let’skeepitbetweenusokay?”
“I’mnotone to stir the pot. And I’mdefinitelynotone to stir thatparticular pot. Your sister won’tforgive youfor your newfoundsympathywiththebloodsuckers,asIwouldnotforgiveMagnar ButIamstillbankingonmeun-brainwashingyou beforeitevencomesclosetocomingoutanyway.Sodon’tworry,damsel,I’llsaveyouonceagain.”
“I’mnotbrainwashed,Julius.Trustme,IwishIwas,”Isaidheavily.
“A brainwashed person wouldn’t know they were brainwashed,” he pointed out and I scowled up at him “Fine,” he conceded.“SayIbelieveyou,thenyoureallyareindeepershitthanIthought.”
“Thanksforthepeptalk,”Imuttered He frowned, his armbrushingmine as he moved closer, and the heatradiatingfromhis skinmade me wantto wrap the wholethingaroundmelikeadamnscarf.“Iwillprotectyouinanywayyouneedprotecting.It’swhatwedoforourkind.” “Idon’tneedprotecting,”Iinsisted.
“Iknow youcanlookafter yourself, IsimplymeanIwill also watchover you. Ihave your back– so longas youdon’t
betrayuslikeaskeevylittlestormwitch.”
Ismiledatthatassessment.“I’mfullyanti-stormwitchandwillgladlyhelpyouturnhertodust.”
“Good”Heshotmeagrin
Isighed,glancingbackattheotherstomakesuretheystillweren'tlistening.“Weneedtotalkabouttheprophecy-” He held up a hand to haltme thenwaved his armina sharp signal to Magnar Takingmywrist, he dragged me into the nearestdilapidatedbuilding.
“Don'tyoulistentoyourblade?”JuliushissedasMagnarandCalliespedintotheruinedbuildingoppositeus IglanceddownatNightmare,realisingitwashummingfranticallyagainstmypalm.
Juliuspressedhisfingertohislips,forcingmeagainstadampwall.Therushoflargewingssoundedoverhead,followed byasoftcry,settingmyheartpounding
Familiar, Nightmarewhispered.
Juliustookhisbowfromhisshoulder,edgingbeneathaholeinthehalf-collapsedceiling Heplacedanarrowagainstthe string,gazingupatitintentlyandreleasingameasuredbreath.Heletthearrowfly,thedeadlyweaponshootingskywardata ferociousspeedandIcaughtsightoftheeaglejustbeforeitburstintodust
IletoutabreathasNightmarefellquietagain,andJuliusgavemeanintenselook.“WhenNightmareconnectswithyou,it istryingtotellyousomething.Payattention.”
Ibitintomylip,feelingberated “Okay,”Imuttered Myshoulders started shudderingfromthe cold. Since we’d stopped moving, the tinypiece ofwarmthI'd held onto from walkinghadabandonedme
Juliusstrodetowardmewithafrown,shruggingoutofhisdarkjacketandhandingittome.“Takeit,noquestions.Idon’t feelthecoldlikeyoudo.”
Ipulleditonandtheheatedsleeveswereablessingagainstmyfrozenskin.“That'sthesecondtimeyou'vegivenmeyour clothes,”Isaid,recallingthecloakhe’dgivenmeonce.
Hismouthpulledupatthecorner “Yes,ifIcontinuetodoso,perhapsyou'llhavemenakedoneday” “Julius,”Magnargrowledasheduckedhisheadthroughthedoorway.“Stopflirtingandstartwalking.”
IshotJuliusatauntingsmileatbeingtoldoffbeforesteppingoutontothequietstreet Callieeyedmyjacketwithaglimmer ofinterestandmygazefelltoherbareshoulders.Nogoosebumpslinedherskin.Ithitmethatshewasaslayernow andthe coldobviouslydidn'tbotherherinthewayitdidme.
As Iwalked amongthe group, Ifelt suddenlyadrift, like Ino longer reallyfit in. Theywere united bytheir vow, their blood,theircause.AndIheldasecretinmyheartwhichwentagainstallofthat.OnewhichIwouldmore-than-likelyhaveto taketothegrave AssumingJuliusdidn'tspillitfirst
ThreemorehourspassedandIcouldsensedawnwasclosebythepalingofthesky MyfeetachedasJuliusfinallyguidedus towardatallbuildingwithabalconyjuttingfromthesideofit.Onehalfofthestructurehadfallendown,buttherestseemed fairlyintact,anditwouldcertainlygiveussomeshelter
“We'llstophere.It'sthehighestbuildingaround,sowe'llbeabletokeepalookout,”Juliusannounced.
My hair was plastered to my cheeks, and I was exhausted right through to my bones. None of the others looked as bedraggledas Ifelt,andIguessedthatwas another slayer gift.Iwas sotired,Ialmostwantedtotakemyvow justsothatI couldfeelalittlelesslikethewalkingdead.
WemovedinsideandItookinthefrostybutfairlydryspacebeforeus Acoldwinddrilledthroughaholeinonewalland Juliusmovedpastit,headingupastonestairway.
Wefollowed,risingfourlevelsandfindingourselvesinamuchmoreappealingroomwithfloorboardsandevensomeold furnituredottedaroundthespace.Magnarstrodetotheoppositewall,pushingadooropenandrevealingthebalconybeyondit. “Good.Thiswilldo.Twoofuscankeepwatchandtwoofuscanfetchsupplies.”
Ididn'tliketheideaofremaininghereinthecold.ThesoonerIfoundsomedryclothes,thebetter.Juliusseemedtobeon thesamelineofthoughtashescrutinisedme.“MeandMontanawill go.Sheneedstogetoutofthoseclothes.AndI’mvery experiencedinhelpingwomenoutoftheirattire”
“HoweverwouldIcopewithoutyou,Julius?”Iaskeddryly.
“Youwouldn’t,damsel”Hesmirked
“I’mprettysureyoupromisedtostopcallingmethat,”Iaccused.
“PrettysureIdon’trecallthat.”Heshruggedandtheassholewonasmileoutofme.Damnhim.
Magnar pursed his lips, lookingto Callie who had stepped out onto the balcony, not seemingbothered bythe gust that whippedherdressaroundherlegs.Henoddedtous,grabbingawoodenchairandbreakingitashestartedtobuildafire.His expressionwasachinglysad,andIwonderedifthisburdenonCallieweighedheavilyonhimtoo
“I’llbebacksoon,”Icalledtoher.“I’llbringyousomewarmclothes.” Shedidn'tseemtohear,losttoher ownthoughtsasshestaredoutacrosstheruins.Myheartbrokefor her asIfollowed Julius back into the stairway, fearing how deeply this bond with Fabian was affecting her It felt like things had changed betweenusinwaysIcouldn’tevenfathomtoo.We’dbothgoneonourownjourneysandnow wewerestandingonopposite sidesofariftthatIdidn’tknowhowtocross ButIwasdeterminedtofindawaytodoso We'll be alright, Callie. We'll figure out a way to fix everything. Then it will be us against the world again.
Theremainsofthecrumbling,concretebalconyjuttedoutbeforeme ItsleftsidehadbeenblastedawayintheFinalWar,but therightsideremainedintact,thoughtherailingthathadonceringedithadbrokenawayalmostentirely.
Therainhadfinallystopped,andacoolbreezeblewinwiththedawn Thesunwasjustabouttoriseandthoughithadn’t crestedthehorizonyet,theskywasbeginningtolightentoapaleblueinthedistance.Abovemyhead,Icouldstillseethelast stars glimmering. Iwondered ifValentina planned onlettingthe sunshine over the citytodayor ifshe’d draw inthe clouds againonceitcameup
Themere thoughtofher senta spike offurious anger throughme.She’dbetrayedher people,soldme outtoFabian,and now itseemedas thoughshe’dbetrayedtheroyals too Whatwas sheplanning?Whatwas her motivation?Surelyitwas all drivinghertowardssomething,butforthelifeofme,Icouldn’tfigureoutwhat.
Inthedistance,beyondthesprawlingruins,Icouldjustmakeouttheriverwhichledontothesea Mylipspartedasyet anotherofmydad’sstoriesfinallycametolifebeforemyeyes.Iwishedhecouldseemenow,lookingoutatthewaterhe’d always promised to show me. Ihoped thatwherever he was, he knew thatI’d finallybegunto see the world, justlike he’d wantedmeto ThoughIdoubtedthistangledmessIfoundmyselfinwasthedreamhe’dhadinmind
Iloweredmyselftositonthecoldfloorandhungmylegsbetweenthelastoftherustedrailings,lookingdownatthedrop belowmyhighheels Myrightshoewascoveredinbloodandmud,thewhitelaceruinedbeyondallchanceofrecovery But strangely,myleftshoewasstillfairlyclean.Afewspotsofbloodstoodoutacrossthetoe,butthatwasit.Itremindedmeof oneofDad’sstoriesaboutthegirlwho’dlosthershoeandfoundaprince
Ihadaroyallookingformetoo,promisingmetheworldandhappilyeverafter.Literally.Seeingasheplannedonkilling meandbringingmebackfromthedeadsoIcouldstaybyhissidefortherestoftime.Inreality,itwaslessofafairytaleand moreofanightmare
ItouchedthecrownwhichstillsatuponmyheadandwonderedifCinderellahadeverfeltthatitsweightwastoomuch.I pulleditoffandtwisteditbetweenmyfingers,frowningatthediamondswhichshonedimlyinthelight Whatastrangethingto giveme.I’dbeennothingmorethanabugbeneaththeirshoemywholelife,butnow theywantedtopretendIwassomething special.Placeacrownonmyheadandcallmeaprincessjusttodisguisetheuglinessoftheirtrueintentions.
Idroppedthecrownbesideme,turningawayfromitsoIdidn’thavetokeepthinkingaboutit.
Leaningforward,Igazeddownatthedropbelowmyfeet.WewerefourfloorsupbutIwasn’tafraid;mygiftswouldallow metosurvivethatfall Itwasstrangetothinkthatmakingasinglepromisehadgrantedmesuchpower I’dgonefromahelpless girl,destinedtolivemylifeunderthevampires’rule,toawarriorcapableofendingthem.Ifonlyitreallyweresosimple.
The breeze swept around me again, pulling at my hair and raising goosebumps along my bare arms Despite my gifts helpingmeresistthecold,thesoddendressandlowtemperaturewerebeginningtotaketheirtollonmeandIshiveredalittle. ThedresswasruinedbutIhadnothingtoreplaceit.Itwastornandfilthy.Abeautifulthingdestroyed.
Iheldmylefthandinfrontofmeandtracedthestaronthebackofitwithmyfingertips.Onehalfofmysoulwasboundto
Magnar.Iturnedmyhandoverandtracedthecrossonmypalm.TheotherhalfwasboundtoFabian.Sowheredidthatleave me?
Stuck between two mortal enemies while waiting for them to destroy me
I was tied to so many rules and commands that I could barely count themanymore. This formof freedomwasn’t very liberatingandIwasstartingtothinkthatmyescapefromtheRealmhadonlylockedmeinadifferentkindofcage Werewe destinedtodancetothetuneofthegodsforever?Wereoursoulsourstoown,orourlivesourstolive?
IwasunabletobewiththemanIknewIwantedinthedepthsofmysoul,unabletosomuchasspeakhisnamealoud And evenifwecouldhavebeentogether,hecouldcontrolmewithasinglecommand.Iwaspowerlesswithhim.Evertheunderdog inagamewhichshouldhavebeenplayedfromequalpositions.
MythoughtsdriftedtoFabianandasurgeoflongingracedthroughmewhichIknewwasn’ttrulymyown Butthatdidn’t stoptheacheIfelt,thedesirewhichstirredmyblood,thememoryofhismouthagainstmine.IgrittedmyteethasIrejectedit.I hatedhisdarkeyeswhichweresodeepthatIcouldgetlostinthem rightbeforeIcutthemoutofhisface Thethoughtofhis stupid,perfectsmilemademeacheforFurywithadesperateneed.IhadnoideawheremybladewasnowandImisseditlike alostlimb,certainitwouldhavehelpedremindmeofmyownmind Withoutit,IwascaughtbetweenwantingtokissFabian andkillhimwhileunsureifIreallywantedeither.
ThiswasallIdun’sfault.WhathadIdonetodeservesuchacursefromher?
Malicious bitch
Iftherewasawaytokillagoddess,thenI’dbesorelytemptedtofindouthow.
Iwantedtoscreammyrageattheruinsbeforeme,butaswewereontherunandtryingtoevadethenoticeoftheFamiliars thathuntedus,Iguessedthatwasn’tthebestidea.Isettledforgrabbingalumpofbrokenmasonryfromthewallbesidemeand hurlingitoutintotheruinsinstead.Ithrewitwithallmystrengthandwatchedasitsoaredawayfromme,muchfurtherthanI wouldhavebeenabletosenditbeforetakingmyvow.ItclatteredintotherubbleandIreachedforanother,launchingitafter thefirsttoseeifitwouldgoanyfurther.
ThethirdbrickIgrabbedhadasharpedgewhichjabbedintomyfinger IhissedinpainasbloodbloomedandIdroppedit besideme,quicklysuckingonmyfinger,scowlingatthejaggedrockbeforewonderingifitcouldbeexactlywhatIneeded.
IpickeditupagainandhelditabovemyleftpalmasIglaredatthecrosswhichboundmetoFabian IfIcouldn’tfightoff thedesiretobewithhimwhileitmarkedmyflesh,thenmaybeIcouldcutitcleanoutofmeinstead.
ItookadeepbreathasItouchedthesharpedgetomyskinandpsychedmyselfupforwhatIwasabouttodo.Itwasgoing tohurtlikehell,butifIwaslucky,it’dpayoff.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it. Maybe I should just go back and find Fabian? If I hurry I could be kissing him within a matter of - just fucking do it!
Ipressed downand painflared throughmypalmjustas a hand landed over mine, draggingthe brickoutofmygrasp. I blinkedupatMagnarinsurpriseashesatbesideme,turningthepieceofjaggedmasonryoverinhishands
“Thatwon’twork,”hesaidquietly,hisdarkpresencesettlingaroundmelikeawaveofshadowshadfollowedhimtomy side.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, that could make this better but I was at a loss for words I knew the sacrificeshe’dmadetoendtheBelvederesandI’dthrownmyselfinthewayofhimfulfillingthatdestiny,ruiningthechance he’dbeenwaitingonforathousandyears Howcouldheevenlookatmeafterthat?Howcouldhebeartositdownbesideme afterI’dsabotagedhisshotatvengeanceafterhe’dgivensomuchinpursuitofit?
The inchof space betweenus was like anuncrossable abyss It was filled withpain, and loss, and so manyunspoken wordsthatIhadnoideahowtobridgeit.
“I’msorry,”IbreathedbecauseitwastheonlythingIcouldsaythatwasentirelythetruth.ItwastheonethingIcouldstand behindandknowIwasfeelingformyselfwithoutanyinputfromdeities,orvowsorcurses
“For whichpartofit?” Magnar rotated his armbackand launched the rockoutinto the ruins. Itlanded so muchfurther awaythanminehadthatIcouldbarelyevenheartheclatterasithittheground
Ichancedalookatthestrongslopeofhisbrowandthebreath-takingruggednessofhisfeatures,nowcastinevenharsher linesthanbefore,liketheworldjustkeptheapingweightuponhisshouldersanditwasallhecoulddotocarrythatburden
“Allofit.Everythingthat’shappenedsincemydaddied.Probablymostofwhathappenedbeforethentoo.Ican’thelpbut feellikeallI’vedonesincewemetismakeyourlifemoredifficult,”Isaid,myguttwistingwiththosewordsasIthoughtover allhe’dlostandhowmuchofitcamebacktome
“That’snottrue,”hereplied,hisvoicelacedwithgritwhichchafedagainstmysoul.
Ididn’tbothertocontradicthim,butIdidn’tknowwhatelsehewantedmetosay Icrossedmyankles,lookingdownatthe dropagainasIreleasedaheavybreath.
“Ineed to understand whattheydid to you.” Magnar reached over and tookmyhand, turningitso he could inspect the silvercrossonmyskin.Myheartstutteredatthefeelofhisroughpalmagainstmine,thememoryofthosehandsandwhatthey werecapableofsilencinganyprotestImighthavehad.Therewasnocaressinhistouchashetiltedmywristtoseethemark
moreclearly,soIdunallowedit,butthefeelingofhishandonminestillsentshiversracingacrossmyskin,theacheoflonging sinkingdeepinsidemychestwhereIwrappedituptightandrefusedtoletitgo.
“I’veneverseenthisbefore,”hemurmured,hisholdtight,theangerhefeltclearineverypieceofhismuscularbody “Itoldyou;itwasIdun.Sheboundmetoyourenemybecauseshe’scruel anditamusedhertodoit.Sheknew youwere there,sheknewwhatwe whatwemighthave ”Iswallowedthicklyandforcedmyselftogoonbecausewehadn’tvoiced whatwemighthavebeenbecomingtooneanotherandthisdidn’tfeellikethemomenttotryanddefineit.“Shemademelook rightatyoubeforeI ”ThememoryofFabian’slipsagainstminemademeshudder indisgustandachewithdesireinequal measures.Itwasn’tfair.Whyplantthosefeelingsintome?Itwaslikeshewantedmetogotohimnow,toabandonMagnarand takeupwiththosehehunted.Itdidn’tmakeanysense.I’dsworntohelpher endthevampires andMagnar was her devoted warrior,sowhydothistome?Tous?
“SoshelaidclaimtoyourbodyinthesamewaysheheldmewhenValentinabetrayedus?”heaskedandIcouldhearthe reliefinhistoneashemadethatassessment
Inodded,wantingtoleaveitatthat.Topretendthatshe’dtakenmylimbshostageandusedthemwithoutmypermission. Butitwassomuchworsethanthatandhedeservedtoknow
“Atfirst,thatwasallitwas.Butonceweweremarried,oncethismarkappeared,itwaslikeI...”Mybraverystutteredout andIbitmylip,afraidtotellhimthewholetruth,afraidtoadmitthewholetruthtomyselftoo.
“Likeyouwhat?”heprompted,hiseyesliftingfrommyhandtomyface,hisexpressionguardedlikehecouldalreadytellit wasworsethanhewantedtobelieve.
Itookadeepbreath,forcingmyselftotellhimthewholetruth OratleastasmuchofitasIunderstood
“LikeIwant tobewithhim.Tobeinhisarmsandgiveeverypartofmyselftohim.Iwanttofeelhismouthonmine,Iwant himtopinmedownand-”Islappedahandovermymouthtostopthefoulwordsfrompouringout.“Shit,”Icursed,recoiling fromthose words, and tighteningmyhold onhis hand. Icould see himwithdrawing, see the walls goingup withinhis dark gaze.
“ButIknow thatIdon’treally,” Iadded quicklyas Ifeltthe tensionbuildinginMagnar’s posture Idropped myeyes I couldn’tbeartolookathimandseewhatmyconfessionwasdoingtohim.“All Itrulywantistohunthimdownandcuthis fuckingheartout Iwanthimtoburnforalltheterriblethingshe’sdone butwhenIsawyoustandingoverhim,abouttofinish him...”Ishookmyhead,unabletorationalisewhatI’ddone.
“Ishouldhavekilledhim.Perhapshisdeathistheonlywayyou’llbefreeofhim,”Magnarspat.
“Maybe,” I agreed, althoughthe idea of a world without Fabianinit still filled me withdread. “But inthat moment, I feared for his life like itwas worthmore thanmyown. Ifeltcertainthathis deathwould breaksomethinginme whichI’d nevergetback”
ThesilencestretchedbetweenusandIfinallydaredtoturnandlookathimagain.
Hisbrowwasfurrowedwithconcernandheseemedlostinthoughtashegazedoutovertheruins Asthesuncontinuedto rise,therichbronzecolourofhisskinappearedtodrinkinthelight,likehewasbornofitandmadeforitalone.Thesightof himlikethatmademyheartratefinallysettle.
Withhimclosetome,Ididn’tfeellikeIwassecondguessingmyselfanymore Fabianpaledintoinsignificance This was real. He wasreal.
ButterfliesdancedinmystomachasIcontinuedtostareathimandhisgazeslowlyslidtomeetmine Aninfernoragedin hisgoldeneyes,blazinghungrilyashedrankmeinjustasIdidhim.
“Anddidyoumeanwhatyousaidtomebeforeweleft?”heaskedcarefully,likehewasn’treallysureifhewantedtohear myresponse.
“Yes,” Ibreathed. The answer was easyas Ilooked into his eyes and the fractured parts ofmysoul knitted themselves togetherjustforthechancetobewithhim
Thewindblusteredaroundusandmyhairsweptacrossmyface.Magnarcaughtitandpusheditbehindmyear,hishand cuppingmycheek Ileanedintohistouch,wishingIcoulddomoreasIfeltIdun’swillurgingmetomoveaway
IfoughtagainstherasIlookedintohiseyesandhisthumbbrushedacrossmylips.Myskinburnedbeneathhistouchand desirebuiltinme,sweepingfromthepitofmystomachrightdowntothetipsofmytoes IwantedhimunlikeI’deverwanted anything. He was the mostdesperate desire ofmyheartand the greatestlongingofmyflesh, butitwas as thoughthe whole worldwasworkingagainstus.
His armgrew tense as Idunpushed againsthimtoo and his hand slid frommyface as he was forced to pull away His fingertipsskimmedapatterndownmyneckandmythroatbobbedasIfoughttostaystill.Hemanagedtotracealineovermy collarbone,finallytouchingtheskinabovemypoundingheartforhalfasecondbeforehedroppedhishand
“You’reeverythingI’veeverwanted,Callie,”hesaid,hisvoiceroughwithlonging.“I’lldowhateverittakestofreeyou ofthiscurseandthenI’mgoingtoclaimyouformyown.Novampirebastardwilltakeyoufrommeandnogoddesswillstand inthewayofthat.”
Iopenedmylefthandinmylapandfrownedatthe silver markonmyskin.Ihatedit.Itfeltlike the touchofa monster,
branded onto me like Iwas his belonging. Itkilled me thatMontana had the same bind to ErikBelvedere. Thatshe was as trapped by himas I was by Fabian. What right did those monsters have to try and claimus for their own? Like we were possessionsinsteadofpeople Asifourownwantsandfeelingswereirrelevant
My hate for the vampires burned hot in my blood. What was it with immortal beings believing themselves to be so superior?Ourlivesmayhavebeenshorterbuttheyheldsomuchmoremeaningbecauseofthat Eachbreathcouldbeourlast Eachmomentcouldchangeourfates.AndI’dbedamnedifIwasgoingtoletthemtakewhatlittletimeIhadonthisEarthand mouldittotheirdesires Mylifewouldbemyownagain,nomatterwhatIhadtosacrificetoclaimit
Magnarranhisfingeroverthecrossonmypalmanditburnedangrilyinresponse.Isnatchedmyhandaway,formingafist aspainflaredinmyblood.IsqueezedsotightlythatIcouldfeelmynailscuttingintomyskinandatrickleofblooddripped ontothewhitedress
“Ijustdon’tunderstandwhyIdunwantstofuckwithuslikethis,”Imuttered.“Whyshe’sdoingthistous...we’vedevoted ourlivestohercause Whywouldshebesocrueltothosewhoaretryingtohelpher?”
“IhavebeenaskingthatquestioneversinceshetiedmetoValentina.Idon’tunderstandwhyshechoosestopunishhermost loyal followers She claims to be testing my devotion, but I have never wavered frommy path Allowing me some small measureofhappinesswouldnotmeanthatI’dabandonmyhuntfortheBelvederes.Ifshecanseeintomysoulassheclaimsto, thenshewouldknowthatthatisthetruth.SoIhavenoanswerforyou.”
IturnedoverhisresponseinmymindasIlookedbacktowardsthehorizonandthesunspilledovertheedgeoftheriverin thedistance.Iwatcheditforseveralachinglybeautifulmomentsbeforethecloudsbegantobuildintheskyanditwashidden fromview
Valentina.IgroundmyjawasIthoughtofthatbitchandallshe’ddone.
She’dgonebeyondturningherbackontheslayersandbecomingtheirmortal enemy;shewasleadingtheBiters.Atleast the Belvederes were making some attemptto protecthumans fromtheir kind. The Realms mighthave stolenour freedomso theycouldtakeourblood,butatleastourliveswerefairlysafeunderthatsystem.IfValentinaandherfollowersgottheirway, humanswouldbehunted Preytomonsterswhofaroutmatchedthem
“WouldyouhatemeifIkilledyourfiancée?”Iasked,givingMagnarhalfasmile. Helaughedasheleanedback,restinghisweightontohiselbows “Areyoujealous,Callie?” Iscoffed.“Ofthatbitch?ThoughIguesssheisverybeautiful,ifyou’reintothatkindofthing.”
“She’savampire,”hereplied,hisfeatureswrittenwithdisgustandIcouldn’thelpbutsmirkatthat.
“Shewasbeautifulbeforeshewasavampire,”Ireplied,rememberingthegirlhe’dshownmeinhisdreamandwondering ifthere had ever beena pointwhenhe’d desired his unionwithher atall. Had theybeentogether? Should their storyhave endedathousandyearsagowithadozenslayerbabiesandahappilyeverafter?
“Shepales toinsignificancebesideyou.Andinanycase,Imanagedtoavoidmarryingmybetrothedfor over athousand years,”hereplied “Youmarriedyourswithintheday PerhapsIhavemorereasonforconcernthanyoudo”
Isnorted withamusement. “Ihad no choice aboutthat. And Idid tryto fightituntil Idunforced myhand. Istabbed him prettygood–fuckeduphiswholefaceandruinedhiseye.ThoughI’lladmitmyattempttostranglehimwasapoorchoice.”
Magnarreleasedalowgroan “Youattemptedtostrangleacreaturewhoiswithoutneedtodrawbreath?”
“WellIhadveryfewweaponsavailabletomesoitseemedlikeadecentenoughplanatthetime.Sufficetosay,itdidn’t work”
“Andyetaftertryingsohardtodosoyourself,youwouldn’tlet me killyourhusband.”Thewayhesaidthefinalwordsent ashiveroffearalongmyspine Iglanceddownatmyhandandpulledtheweddingringfrommyfinger,glaringatitasItriedto denythepartofmethatwishedtokeepiton.
“No,”Iagreed.Iwasn’treallysurewhatelseIcouldsaytothat.Ididn’tunderstanditmyself,sohowcouldIexpecthim to?
“Did he hurt youwhile he held you?” Magnar asked, his voice droppingto a low growl whichreminded me just how deadlyhecouldbewhenhewantedtobe
“No,”Irepliedonabreath.“Iprobablydidmoreharmtothem;theywerejusttryingtoconvincemetogoalongwiththe wedding Theyseemed to reallybelieve itcould have helped thembreaktheir curse And Ican’thelp butwonder ifthey wererightaboutit,shouldn’tIbewillingtomakethatsacrifice?Forthegoodofallthehumans?”Iaskedbitterly.
Thatquestionhadbeengnawingatmeeventhougheverypartofmybeingrebelledagainstthethoughtofit.Ihatedtheidea rightdownto the marrow ofmybones, butwouldn’ta better personagree to it? Wouldn’ta better persondo anythingthey couldtoendthisandsavetherestofmykind?
Iheldtheweddingringoutinfrontofme,intendingtodropitintotheruinsbutIcouldn’tforcemyselftoreleaseit,Idun’s twistedmagickeepingitlockedbetweenmyfingers.
“I cannot believe the answer to the curse lies in whoring yourself out to a monster and carrying his demon children,” Magnargrowled.
IturnedtolookathimagainasIreturnedtheringtomyfinger.
“Fabianisn’tamonster,”IsnappedbeforeIcouldslammymouthshut.
Magnar’sgazedroppedtomyweddingringandsomethingdarkandterrifyingflaredinhiseyes.Hepushedhimselftohis feetandstrodeawayfrommewithoutanotherword
“Elder?”Icalled,mythroatthickeningasthatdamntitleleftmylipsinsteadofhisname.Ishovedmyselftomyfeetand tookastepafterhim,needinghimtohelpmewiththis,hatingthatIcouldn’tsimplyswitchoffthislinktoFabianandbedone withit.
“Don’tfollowme,”Magnargrowledwithoutturningbackandhiscommandhitmelikeapunchtothegut,myfeetstumbling toahaltagainstmywishes.
Itriedtofightagainstthecommandandmanagedtotakethreestepsafterhim,myfeetfeelingliketheywereweigheddown withleadwhileIcursedhimoutforusingthatbullshitpoweragainstmeagain Iattemptedtoliftmyfootforthefourthtimebut itwasimpossible.
Mylungs feltlike theymightburstfromthe pressure ofthe force whichworked againstme Istaggered backand a sob escapedmylipsasIdroppeddowntotheflooroncemore.
TearsfellfrommyeyesandIhuggedmykneestomychestasthecoldwindwhippedaroundme Ishiveredasitbattered againstme,easilypushingthroughthethinmaterialofmydressandchillingmetomycore.
The sunclimbed higher inthe skybeyond the clouds butIwas trapped where Iwas, unable to move backinside while Magnar’scommandimmobilisedme He’dgoneinthereandIcouldn’tfollow Rainbeganto fall ina persistent drizzle, slowlysoakingme and mixingwiththe tears onmycheeks. I was so fucking stupid Inever shouldhavegivenmyselftothevow,never shouldhavegottenmyselfmixedupwiththedeals betweengods andmortals.NowIwastrappedinthemidstoftheirgames,apawntobeusedandmanipulated.AndtherewasnothingIcould dotoescapethem.
Igrew colder butIstill didn’tmove.Icouldn’t.Andtheknowledgethatmybodyhadonceagainbeensnatchedfrommy controlsentanice-coldfearpoundingthroughme.ButtherewasnothingIcoulddoaboutit.AllIcoulddowaswait.
1000YEARSAGO
Thestormragedonaroundusandstill noneofusmovedasthegoddess'snew powerssurgedthroughour veins.Itwasas thougheveryremainingmemberoftheclanswasfrozenbythegriefofmyfather’sdeath Eachman,womanandchilddown tothestableboyI’dbroughtbackfrommytravelswereutterlystillaswemournedandIdunpouredherstrengthintous.
Icouldfeeleverythinglikeitwasthefirsttimemybodyhadexperiencedit
Everyinchofmyskinwasmoresensitive,everysoundmoredefined.Evenmyeyesightgrewsharper.
MygazefellonVenomwhichwasstillgraspedinmyhandandInoticedmyringfingerstraighteningbeforemyeyes.I’d brokenitasachildandithadn’tsetright,butnowthedullacheIalwaysfeltfromitinthecoldwasgone.
Strengthsurgedthroughmymuscles likeatideuntil IfeltcertainthatIcouldripamanintwowithmybarehands ifthe notiontookme
Thelandgrewdarkerasthestormbuiltandmymother’ssobsfinallycametoanend.Itseemedtheskywasmourningour father’spassageasmuchaswewereandwhateverstrangegiftswehadbeengiveninthefaceofhisdeathpaledattheweight ofhisloss.
Iforcedmyselftoriseasahugeflashoflightninglituptheheavens,strengthsaturatingmylimbslikeneverbefore.
Inthedistance,beyondtherowoftentsacrosstheplain,farfurtherthanIshouldhavebeenabletosee,Inoticedafigure approaching.
Ihadnever seentheGoldenWhorefor myself,butIknew her assoonasmygazelandedonher Nobeautysuchashers couldbenaturalamongtheworldofmortals.Shestolethebreathfrommylungsatasingleglance,herunnervinglybrightgaze pinningmeinplacewiththepower ofher stolenimmortality Shewasamonster dressedasanenchantress;atrappoisedto stealtheheartsofallwholookeduponhersothatshemightsinkherteethintothemwhiletheystillbeatwithwantforher.
Venomhissedhernamelikeacurseinmyear. Clarice Iheldthebladelooselyinmyrighthandassheadvancedacrossthe plain,mybloodpumpingwithadeepandviolenthatredwhichbeggedtoseeherend
Juliussteppedtomyside,holdinghisownbladeatthereadyandImovedtoretrieveTempestfromwhereI’dleftitthrust intheground ThoughIhadusedallofmystrengthtodrivethebladeintothedirtonlyhoursbefore,removingitwasaseasyas breathingwithmynewlygiftedmuscles.ThepowerofthegoddessroamedrampantlythroughmylimbsandasIlookedatthe monster who stole towards us across the openplain, Iknew whatpurpose this power was meantfor Idunhad gifted us the strengthweneededtomatcheventheworstoftheirkindinbattle.Tobestthem.
Ibegantomovebetweenthetents,makingabeelinefortheplacewhereI’dspottedtheimmortalharlot.I’dlostsightofher without the lightningto illuminate the plainbut I could feel her movingcloser throughthe shadows, a creature of darkness huntinginhernaturalhabitat.
Iswungthe two blades inlazycircles as Iadvanced, gettinga feel for the waytheymoved as Iwielded thematonce,
feelingarightnessinthatwhichsangwithinmybones.Myfather’sswordwouldbeminenow tooandeverydropoftainted bloodIspilledwithitwouldbeinhomagetohismemory.
“Doyouthinkthey’veallcome?”Juliusaskeddarklyashemovedatmyside Icouldtellhisthirstforvengeancewasas powerfulasmyownandIcouldn’thelpbutdrawfurtherstrengthfromhiscompany.
“Ihopeso,”Igrowled,theneedfordeathlikeanacheinmysoul
Thepowerofthegoddessflowedthroughmyveinslikelava,heatingmetomycoredespitethefactthatIstrodeshirtless throughthepoundingrain SomethingtoldmeIwouldneversufferthefullbiteofwinteragain Wemadeitbeyondthetentsandstoodattheedgeoftheplain,waitingforthemonsterstostrike,knowingtheyskulkedout thereintheshadows.
“Showyourselves!”Ibellowed “Youfourbeastsofthenightwhoplaywithlivesandsoulslikethey’reworthless Come andletusseeyourunnaturalfaces!”
The night grew deeper as I felt the gods pressingclose, their eyes glued to our actions as theywaited for the battle to commence.Wewerejustpiecesontheirgameboardsasalways,butthistime,Iwasmorethanwillingtoplay.
SomeonemovedbehindmeandIturnedmyheadas Valentinasteppedforwardtotakeapositiononmyleft As Icaught sightofher eyes, Icould see the power ofthe stormswirlingwithinthem, lightningflickeringinher pupils, a static charge liftingherdarkhair.Itseemedthegodshadincludedherwhenthey’dbestowedtheseenhancementstoourgifts.Thepowerof theClanofStormsragedwithinherunlikeeverbefore,andIcouldalmosttastetheoncomingstormasIinhaled
Sheraisedherarmsandelectricityhummedintheairassheharnessedthefuryofthestorm.Lightningflashedblindingly acrossthecloudsandfourfigureswereilluminatedonthefarsideoftheplain,theirporcelainfeaturesetchedwithuncertainty astheyassessedus.
Theycouldsee ittoo,this new power inus,andtheyhesitatedtomeetitlike the cowards Ihadlongknownthemtobe. Theyhidfromdeathafter all,fromthepromiseofendless days inthehalls ofValhalla.Onlyacowardwouldacceptsucha fate.
MygazefellonErikattheleftofthegroupandmylipcurledbackinaferalsnarl,thedesireforhisdeathabrutalachein mychest.IslowlyliftedVenom,pointingthebladeathisheartandsendinghimasilentpromise.Iwouldbehisend.Nomatter thecost
“Isthisallthatremainsofthegreatraceofslayers?”Fabiancalled,hisvoicelacedwithamusementashebegantodraw closer,hisstepsfullofswaggeranddrippingbravado.
OurmothermovedtostandonJulius’sotherside,fourslayerstofacefourvampires.
Behindus,thoseremainingmembersoftheclansgatheredtoo.Eventhosewhohadnobusinessfightingstoodwithus;old warriorswhosewarringdayswerelongpassedwaitedshouldertoshoulderwithchildrenwhowerebarelystrongenoughto wieldablade.Mothersstoodwiththeirbabesinonearmandaweaponintheother.EvenElissaandAelfricjoinedourranks, clutchingbladestheyhadnoideahowtousewhileglaringatthevampireswithalltherageofseasonedwarriors
Thetotalwaslikelylessthantwohundred,afractionofournumbersfromjustdaysago.Butthegoddesshadblessedthem allandwestoodagainstourenemies,strongerthaneverbefore.Ididn’tliketheirchancesatvictory.
BeyondtheRevenants,Icouldmakeoutamovingshadowfilledwiththeirfoulcreations AsI’dexpected,they’dwasted notimeinsiringmorevampiresandIfeltapangofpityforwhatevertownhadfallenpreytotheircurse.
Iturnedtomeetmybrother’sgazeandfoundrawpowerbrimmingthroughhimtoo Thegodshadbeengenerouswiththeir gifts,spreadingthemamongstmypeopleandgivingusthechancetomeetthevampiresonequalfooting.Iwouldbecertainnot tosquanderthem
“Iwillfollowyoutotheend,brother,”Juliusgrowled,liftinghisswordhigherinanticipationofmycommand.Thesewere mypeoplenow.Myfather’sdeathhadmademetheir Earl.Andtheywaitedonmycommandtoslaythesebeasts.ThefirstI wouldmake,butnotthelastifIhadanysayinthematter
“Forourfather,”IsaidfiercelyandMother’sgazehardenedasshenodded.“ForEarlMallion!”Ibellowedforallofour peopletohear
AresoundingbattlecrymetmyownandItookoffacrosstheplain,sprintingfasterthanI’deverrunbefore,thepowerof mymusclesastrangeandwonderousthing AgiftIwouldusewell
Thestormragedandtherainpoureduponusinanunyieldingcascadeoffreezingdroplets,butIdidn’tfeelthebitingcold the wayIshould have. Myveryskinseemed to be alive withenergy, creatingheatwhere there should have beennone and savingmefromsufferingbeneaththetorrentwhichValentinaencouragedtofallfromtheskies
The Revenants knew there was somethingdifferentaboutus andall four sets ofeyes were drawntome as Iledthe line againstthem
Fabianwasclosesttomeandhewasthefirsttobreakranksandruntoopposeus.
IsmiledbitterlyasIracedtomeethim,duckingbeneathhimasheleaptformythroat,themovementfareasierthanshould havebeenpossible.HespuntostareatmeinsurprisebutIwastednotimeandswungTempeststraightforhisneck.Hetwisted awayfrommebutIalreadyhadVenomwaitingtoblockhisretreat,aferalgrinpartingmylipsasIfoundmyselfmorethana
matchforthisheathen.
Fabianleaptasidebutnotbeforethebladecarvedalinealonghisforearm,spillinghisbrightredbloodandstainingthe dirtbetweenus Hehissedinpainasthewoundsizzledfromthemagicintheswordandtheairwastaintedbythestenchof burningflesh.
Ididn’tmissthelookofhorrifiedwonderthatfilledhiseyes Iguessednoonehadgottenthatclosetokillinghiminalong time.
IroaredasIpushedmyadvantageandhetriedtolungeatmeagain Hecaughtmyrightarminhisirongrip,hisinhuman fingerstighteninginanattempttobreakmybones.Beforehecoulddomorethanbruiseme,Iswungmyotherarmathisface, Venom’shiltstillgraspedinmyfist.
Myknucklesconnectedwithhisjawandhewasthrownoffofme,crashingintothemudsixfeetawayandskiddingthrough it. Whenhe regained his feet, he was covered fromhead to toe infilth, and brightred blood still dripped steadilyfromthe woundonhisarm
FabianbaredhisteethatmeandIbaredminerightbackasIbegantoadvance. “Whatareyou?”hehissedasheretreatedastep “Iamyourdeath,”Ireplied.
Ileaptforward,swingingbothofmybladesinaviciousarcdesignedtocleavehisheadfromhisneck.
Fabianthrewhimselfaside,barelyabreathpartinghimfromdeathbeforehespunawayfrommeandfledbacktowardshis kin.
Ibellowedachallengeandtookchase Mymotherandbrotherranbehindme,bladesreadyandwarriorcriesontheirlips asweracedafterthemonsterswhohadtakeneverythingfromus.
ThefourRevenantsgroupedtogetheracrosstheplain,staringatusinconfusionandwithmorethanahintoffear,seeming toacceptthatwewerenotwhatwehadbeen,thatwewerenowmorethanamatchforthem.
“Do youfeel the thirstdrivingyouon?” Clarice cried, turningher gaze onthe newlysired vampires behind themas she huntedforawaytosaveherownneck “Goforwardandfeast!”
Thevampiresshriekedinexcitementandfloodedpasttheircreatorslikeatideofruination,thethirstturningthemintolittle morethanferalbeastsblindedbytheirneedforblood Theyracedtointerceptusandtheremainingmembersofthesevenclans thunderedtomeetthematmyback.
“These creatures need remindingthatthey’re alreadydead!” Iyelled and the replyingroar ofmykinjoined witha great crashofthunderasValentinacontinuedtowieldthestormwithhernewlyenhancedgifts.
TheRevenantsstoodbehindtheirarmyandwatchedasourforcescollided.Ididnosuchthing;nowarriorofminewould beaskedtosacrificethemselveswithoutmebytheirside Iledthechargefromthefront,carvingapaththroughthevampires withJuliusandourmotherbesideme.
We cut down more vampires than I could count and the dust from their demise mixed with the thick mud at our feet, cloggingtheairwiththestenchoftheirdeaths.
Again and again, I swung my blades but the fatigue I expected with such use of my energy never came. My muscles thrummedwithstrengthandthepromiseofdeathforallthosewhocameagainstme,thegiftsofthegoddesspumpingthrough mylimbspowerfully.
Astherestofmypeoplebattledagainstthenewvampires,myfamilyslicedapaththroughthemayhemtowardsthedemons whohadcausedit.
Iplunged Tempestinto the heartofa beautiful vampire clad inthe dress ofa noble and as she dissolved before me, the Revenantswererevealedbeyondhercascadingremains.
“This isn’tpossible,” Miles hissed as he glared atmyfamily, tryingto denywhatwe were now. Atrue matchfor their monstrosity
“Thegodshavelevelledthefield,”Juliusgrowled.“Areyouafraidtofindoutifyoucanmatchusnow?” “Why?” Erik breathed and I got the feeling his question was meant for one of the powerful deities who watched our exchange,butIansweredallthesame.
“Forthecurseyoubestowedonourfather NoEarloftheslayersshouldeverhavemetthefateyoudealthim Iwillrepay thatdebtinblood.”Iadvancedonthem,mygazefixedonErikashiseyesnarrowedinconfusion.
“YourfatherwastheslayerIturned?”heaskedasrealisationhithim.“Isavedhim;Isenthimbacktoyou-”
“YousentbackademonwearingtheskinofthemanIloved!”mymotheryelled,herbrokenheartmakinghervoicecrack withemotion,butheraxewassteadyinherhand.
“Youforced me to plunge a blade throughmyownfather’s heart,” Igrowled as Itookanother step Venomand Tempest hummedinanticipationasIclosedinonthemonsterswhohadstarteditall,theirdemandsfortheirdeathsthickinmymind.
“Youkilledhim?”ErikaskedandIdidn’tmissthehorrorthatflashedthroughhiseyes.Didhedaremournthelossofthe foulcreationhehadplacedinmyfather’sskin?
“You killedhim,”Icorrectedangrily.
ThethundercrackedaboveourheadsagainandIranathim,nolongerwillingtohearhisabhorrentvoice.Iwouldtakehis headfromhisbodyandpaytheblooddebtIwasowed.
Itookthreelongstridesandleaptforward,spinningintheairasIswungbothofmybladesforhishead
Erik’seyeswidenedashesawdeathcomingforhimandhissisterleaptforwardtoknockhimasidebeforeIcouldlandmy blow Venomslicedacrosshershoulderandshehowledinpainasbrightbloodspilledfromthewound EriksnappedoutofhismomentaryinactionandwrappedhisarmsaroundClarice,leapingawayfrommeandhaulingherto safety
MilesandFabiansteppedinfrontofhertoo,thethreefoulbrothersprotectingtheirmonstroussister.Ialmostlaughedatthe falsedisplayoflove.Acreaturesustainedbydeathcouldneverbecapableofsuchanemotion.
JuliusyelledashechargedatthemandIrantojoinhimwithVenomscreamingforvengeanceinmypalm
TheRevenantsbaredtheirteethlikebeastsastheysprintedtomeetus.
Julius tuckedhis headlow andbarrelledtowards themlike a humanbattering-ram His shoulder connectedwithMiles’s chestandasoundlikefallingrocksfilledtheair.Mileswasthrownbackwards,slammingintohissisterandsendingthemboth crashingintothemud
Fabianleaptonto Julius’s back, sinkinghis teethinto his shoulder witha feral viciousness. Mymother screamed as she aimedakickatFabian,dislodginghimbeforehecoulddrinkmybrother’sblood.
IonlyhadeyesforErikasIadvancedonhimsteadily,swingingmybladesinaclearchallenge Vengeancecalledmyname, drawingmecloser.
Heleaptatmebutbeforewecouldmeetinbattle,lightningstruckthegroundbetweenus
Thevampirefellbackandmyheartleaptwithsurprise.
Again,lightningforkedfromthesky,slammingintothegroundbetweenusanddrivingthedemonback.Thethirdforkarced towardstheotherRevenants,carvingaspacebetweenthemandmyfamily.
IlookedaroundandfoundValentinastridingtowardsus.Windbillowedaroundherandpulledherusuallyperfecthairinto amaelstromofherowncreation
Thevampireslookedbetweenthefourofusinundisguisedhorror,theireyesdriftingtotheslayerswhodrewclosebehind us AsIfollowedtheirgaze,Ifoundmykinclosingrankatmyback,thenewly-siredvampiresreducedtonothingbutpilesof clothesandashonthebattlefield.
OnlytheRevenantsremainedtofaceourhostofoverahundredslayersgiftedwiththenewstrengthofthegoddess. “IsthatfearIseeinyoureyes?”Icried.
Theslayersatmybackyelledtheirownchallenges,theairrumblingwithourcombinedrage.
TheRevenantsmovedtowardseachother,takingastepback,thenanother “Standandfaceus,cowards!”IroaredasIsawtheurgetofleeintheirexpression.
“Thisfightwillkeep,slayer,”FabianspatashishandclosedonClarice’swristandhepulledherfurtherback Thefourofthemexchangedabriefglancewhichheldtheweightofdestinyinit,thentheyturnedandfled.
IreleasedabattlecryasItookchase,mypeoplejoiningmeasweracedtohuntdownthemonsters,refusingtoletthem fleethisfate
Butdespitethenewpowerinmymuscles,theirpaceoutmatchedmyownandtheybegantoincreasethedistancebetween usintheirdesperatebidforfreedom
Ididn’trelent,myfeettearingapathacrossthesoddengroundasIbegantoputdistancebetweenmyselfandmypeople. OnlyJuliuskeptpacewithme,hishatredandthirstforrevengematchingmyown,butdespiteourefforts,wecouldn’tkeepup Thesealoomedahead,andweskiddedtoahaltaswefoundourselvesonthetopofacliffwhichlookeddownontothe roilingwaves.
IcursedasIrealisedwhattheyhaddone Thevampireshadtakenrefugebeneaththewaterwheretheyknewwecouldn’t follow.Fuckingcowards.
“We are the sons ofMallionElioson!” Iroaredintothe night,knowingtheywouldhear me where theyhidlike rats ina hole. “Your deaths await youat our hands!We will have vengeance for our father and we will hunt youto the ends ofthe Earth!”
“Youmayrunbutwewillfindyou!”Juliusbellowedinagreement.“Youareonlydelayingyourfate!”
J
uliusandIheadeddeeperintotheruinedcity,passingrowsofoldstoreswithfadednamesabovethedoorways Ahardware store,agasstation,evenanoldbridal shopwhichIscurriedpastataferociouspace.Ihadnointentionofexchangingmy currentweddingdressforanotherone IfIneversawoneofthoseflouncywhitegownsagain,I’ddiegoddamnhappy
Alarge buildingloomed up ahead witha shattered glass doorway. Several ofthe letters onthe wall above ithad fallen away,leavingB-yPlaz-Mall.
Ivaguelyrecalled the termmall frommydad's recounts ofthe pastand started sprintingtoward itwithhope liftingmy heart.
“Hey-waitup!”Juliuscalled,dragginghisattentionawayfromalingeriestorewindowandchasingafterme IslowedasIsteppedthroughthebrokendoorway,mydresstrailingovertheshardsofglass,makingaplinkingsoundas theyshifted Inside,wasanimpossiblypristinecorridorlinedwithrowsuponrowsofclothesstores Reliefebbedthroughme atescapingthepouringrain.AndnowIfinallyhadachancetogetoutofthisdamndresswhichwassowet,itweighedatonne, andtheskirtwascoatedingrime.
“Julius-look,”Igaspedashejoinedme Hismouthparted,hiseyestrailingfromstoretostore.“Bythegods,whatisthisplace?”
“It's a mall, a place people used to shop for stuff” Ijogged towards the nearest store withNightmare tight inmygrip, wrenchingthedooropenandfindinganexpanseofuntouchedclotheshangingonrailsallovertheplace.
MyheartliftedasItookitallin,thecoldsodeepinmyveinsthatIpracticallygroanedatthesightofendlesssweatersand cosyleggings.
“Shit,”Juliuscursed.“I’veneverseenamarketwithsomanyfinethings.”
He raced pastme into the menswear, tuggingoffhis shirtand tossingitto the floor before unbucklinghis pants He was downtohisunderwearinnotime,revealinghisdeepbronzeskinandthethickmusclesthatcladhisbodylikearmour.Thenhe droppedhisboxers,andIturnedawayfastbeforeIgotanunwantedeyeful ofhiscock,hisgleeful laughter reachingmeasI startedsearchingthroughthewomen’sclothes.
Severaloftheitemswerethinandsparkly,andtherewereabunchofdressesthatIsweptrightpast.Theywouldn'tbeany use againstthe cold so Iforged a pathto the backofthe roomwhere the sweaters were waitingfor me alongwitha whole rangeofmorepracticalitems.Igrabbedadark,long-sleevedshirtoffahangerandsmiledatitinrelief,certainitwouldkeep mewarm
IplaceditdownalongwithNightmarethenreachedbehindmybacktoundomydress,desperatetogetoutofthisthingand abandonitforever Myfingersfumbledagainstthetinybuttons,failingtofreemyselfandcausingmyhearttoriotinfrustration Thereweresomanyofthem.HowthehellwasIsupposedtogetoutofit?
Your husband was supposed to get you out of it, Montana
Myteethclenchedasthatthoughtpassedthroughmyheadandthemarkonmypalmsuddenlyblazedwithenergy,making
meyearnforEriksomuchitleftmebreathless.Ishutmyeyes,workingtoforceawaythesensation.
“Needahand?”Julius’svoicemademejump,andIopenedmyeyes,findinghimstridingtowardmeinapairofjeanswith anavyt-shirtgrippedinhishand Mygazeshiftedtohishugechestandthepackedmusclesofhistorso,heatcrawlingintomy cheeks.
“No,”Iblurted,andhecockedhisheadinamusement
“Howareyougoingtoescapefromyourfinalcagethen,damsel?”
“I’mnotadamsel,”Igrowled,sickofhimcallingmethat
“It’snotaweaknesstoaskforhelpwhenyouneedit,youknow,”hesaid.
IchewedtheinsideofmycheekandJuliuswenttoturnaway,butIswallowedmyprideandcalled,“Wait.”
Heglancedbackatme,tuckingthet-shirtintohiswaistbandasifhehadnointentionofputtingitonanytimesoon ThoughI wishedhewouldbecausehisabswereadistractionIdidn’tneedrightnow.
Hesaunteredovertome,allcockinessandIpursedmylipsathimbeforehemovedbehindmeandstartedonthebuttons “Comeonyoulittlebastards,”hehissed,failingtogetpurchaseonthem.
“What’stheproblem?Yourbigmanhands?”Itaunted
“They’veneverbeenaproblemforanythingbeforenow,”hesaidwithasmirkinhisvoice.
“Wereyoubornthisarrogantorisitanothercurseofthegods?”
Helaughed “Fuckit”Hegrippedthedressandrippeditcleandowntheback,sendingbuttonsscatteringeverywhere Icould breathe againas the tightbodice finallyreleased me and Iwas so relieved thatas Istepped outofthe rumpled materialandturnedtofaceJulius,IcompletelyforgotthatIwasn’twearingabraandIhadasee-throughpairoflacepanties on.
His gaze dropped to take in my nipples which were pointing right at himthanks to the cold. His throat bobbed and I snatchedasweateroffthenearesthanger,clutchingitagainstmybody.
“Turnaway,”Isnapped.
But instead of doingas I asked, he frowned, reachingout to toucha bite markabove myleft breast, scoringhis thumb arounditbeforehishandtrailedtomorebitemarksalongmyneck.“Therainhaswashedafairbitofthevenomout,butwe needtomakesureit’sallgoneortheywon’theal”
Theheatofhisfingersagainstmyice-coldskinmademepullaway,myheartthunderingasmymindturnedtoErik.
“I’llgofindsomewater,”hesaid,thenturned,thebroadmusclesofhisbackflexingasheheadedoutofthestore.
IpickedupNightmareandmovedtotheunderwearsectionwhereIpulledonapairofblackpantieswithasportsbra.I tuggedonapairofwarmleggingstoo,alongwithsocksandsomenew,thickbootsasIwaitedforJuliustogetback.
Itwasn’tlongbefore he returnedwitha few bottles ofwater,walkingover tome andgesturingfor me tolie downona benchintheshoearea.Ididsoandhekneltbesideme,twistingoffthecapofthewaterbottleandshiftingmyhairawaybefore tippingitover the bite marks The painwas sharp, butiteased dramaticallyas the lastofthe venomwas washed outand I releasedabreathofrelief,onlynowrealisinghowmuchthebiteshadbeenstinging.
Hegrabbedthe shirtoutofhis waistband,usingittodabatthe bites anddrythem,andIlookedupathis darkeyes,his browdrawnlowasheconcentrated
“Whyareyoutakingcareofme?”Iasked.“Webarelyknoweachother.”
Hekneltback,pushingahandthroughhisdamphairandmussingitupashedidso “I'mnothingliketheparasitecompany you'vebeenkeepinglately.Ilookaftermyown.”Hestoodup,movingtofetchhimselfanothershirtandpullingitonatlast.
“They'rereallynotthatbad,”Imuttered,notintendingforhimtohear,butheimmediatelyresponded “Yestheyare.”
“Notallofthem.”
“Wrong,”hegrowled,fixingmeinhis gazeas hewalkedbacktome “Theyareall undead,blood-thirstycreeps Andif youthinkErikBelvederewouldn'tsuckyoudrythesecondhegotthechancethen-”
“Stopit,”Isnarled,grabbingthelong-sleeveblackshirt,andpullingiton AngerflowedthroughmeandtheXonmypalm prickled.“Hewouldneverhurtme.”
“Hewantstothough Hehadtofighttheurgetobiteyoueverymomenthewasaroundyou Howcouldyoustandit?” Iglaredathim,stridingcloser.“Justdropit,okay?Iknow Erik.He'snotlikethosetwistedbiters whoattackedus.Who leftthesemarksonme.”
Hepushedahandintohisdamplocksagainastheyfell intohiseyes “Look,I'mnottryingtoupsetyou,Montana Icare aboutyou.”
Ifrownedashereachedoutandbrushedhisfingersovermyarm “It'saslayerthing,Isuppose I'mlostwithoutmykind SoIfeelprotectiveoveryou.It'shardformetoacceptthatoneofmyownactuallyfeelssomethingforoneofthem.Especially ErikBelvedere.”
“Maybeallofthisistodowiththeprophecy,”Isuggestedwithaheavybreath,myheartbeatingharderasIlookedatthe silverXonmypalm.
“DidyouspeaktoAndvari?”Juliusasked,histonedarkening.
Inodded,ashudderrunningthroughmeatthememory.“HesaidI'mpartoftheprophecy.Halfofit.SoIguessCalliehasto betheotherhalf”
“Whatelsedidhesay?”heasked,ahungergrowinginhisgazeformyanswers.
“Nothing”Idroppedmyeyes as thedarkmemoryswallowedmeup “After hetorturedmeandErikfor awhile,hejust left.”
“Didthegodhurtyou,Montana?”hegrowled
“Notreally...it'shardtoexplain.”IwrappedmyarmsaroundmyselfandJuliustuggedmeintoahug,restinghischinonmy head.Hewasright,Ihadtoadmitit,evenifonlytomyself.Ustogetherfeltright.Likewewerebothpartofsomethingbigger andwewereboundtoittogether Itshouldn’thavefeltsonaturaltoseekcomfortinthearmsofamanwhowasstillpractically astrangertome,butitdid.AndafterallI’dbeenthrough,Icouldn’thelpbutstealamomentinthewarmcomfortofhisarms.
“We'llworkitout,”hemuttered
Iknew itmusthave beenhardfor Julius tounderstandmyfeelings for a vampire.Erikhadkilledhis father,andhell ifI didn’tknowthepainofsuchaloss ButifJulius’svowurgedhimtoendthecurse,maybethatwouldbeenoughforhimtoput hisrevengeasideoneday.
“ThankyouforkeepingyourwordnottohurtErikbackatthecathedral.”Ipulledoutofhisarmsandhegavemeaslanted grin “Iamnothingifnotamanofmyword.Butdon’teveraskthatofmeagain.”
Ifrownedathiswords,buttherewasnothingIcoulddotomakehimhateEriklessthanhedid
IpickedupNightmarefromwhereI’dleftitonthebench,thewarmmetalhummingingreeting.Butthatsofthumturnedto anabruptbuzz,almostlikeawarningblazingthroughmyflesh.Julius'sheadliftedjustbeforeabangsoundedbehindusandI swungaroundinalarm,raisingmybladedefensively.
Ahaggardvampirestoodbeyondthewindow withhisforeheadpressedtothepane.Heworeafinesuit,eventhoughthe restofhimlooked filthy Mygutclenched as he opened his mouthand drool slid downthe glass as he mouthed a word that lookedlike‘blood’.
“Rotter,”Ihissed
JuliuspulledMenacefromitssheathwhichhe’dstrappedtohiship,hiseyesnarrowing.
“Stayhere,”hebreathed,andIfrowned,mypulsethumpingbeneathmyskin. ThemomentJuliusreachedthedoor,thevampiredartedtowardhim,hiseyeswildwithhunger.
“Blood–thweetnectar–thegodthhaveanstheredmyprayers!”hecriedwithapronouncedlisptohistone.
Juliusshovedhimbackandhehitthefloor,skiddingoutacrossthecorridorfromtheforcetheslayerhadused
ThevampirescrambledupandIhurriedtowardJulius,eyingthevampire’sopenmouthinsurprise.Hehadnofangs,his gumsswollenandbloodywherethey'doncebeenasifhisbodycouldn'thealthewounds
Therotter’seyesturnedbetweenus,desperateandstarving,lookingsodespairingthatIalmostfeltsorryforhim.Butthen herolledtohiskneesandspedtowarduslikeananimal,histonguelollingasheclosedin.Juliuskickedhimsquarelyinthe face,butthevampirehungonthroughsheerdesperation,suckingonthetoeofhisbootandclingingtohisleg Igrimaced,backingupasJuliusshookhimoffandpointedMenaceathisheart.
Thevampireliftedhishead,droolslidingdownhischinasabitteracceptancefilledhim “Enditthen Killme Thithlife ithnotworthlivingwithoutblood.”Hebrokeasob,pressinghischesttothesword.
Pityspedthroughme,butJuliusstabbedhisswordforwardandcleavedthevampireapart,sendingdustplumingoutaround hisfeet.
“Julius,”Igasped.“Whatthehellhappenedtohim?”
“Banishment,”hesaiddarkly,his upper lipcurlingback “I’veseenitoncebefore Itseems vampires whobreakcertain lawsarede-fangedandcastoutofthecity.”
Itookashakybreath ThiswaswhatFabianhadwantedforWolfe Thiswouldbehispunishment Andinaway,itseemed almostworsethandeath.Withnobloodtofeedonoutintheruins,hewouldsurelystarveintoinsanity. Nightmarecooledinmypalm,seemingcontentafterthevampire'sdemise,butIfeltunsettledmorethananything “Come, let's gather supplies and head backto the others. It’s fuckingfreezingand Iwantto be sleepingbya warmfire beforemidday.”Julius’stonewaslightasifhehadn'tjustcutamanintwo.
Vampire,Icorrectedinternally Shit,IwasintroubleifIstartedpityingthem Buthe'dbeensohopeless,soemaciated I battled away the thoughts, focusing on the task at hand. The vampire had no doubt deserved his fate, his past almost certainlydirtiedwiththebloodofhumans justas all oftheir kindwere Ineededtogetsupplies andheadbacktomysister withanofferingofwarmclothesandasmuchfoodasIcouldcarry.Onedeadvampirewas not goingtodistractmefromthat. Calliewas relyingonme,andas Irememberedhow lostshe’dlookedwhenI’dleft,myhearthardened.Survival was what matterednow.
The sunrose higher inthe skybehind the clouds butitdid nothingto raise the temperature Iclutched myarms around my kneesandtriedtostopmyteethfromchatteringasyetanotherfreezingwindthrewice-coldsleetoverme.Ihuddledonthe balcony, againstthe wall withmyhead downas Ishivered, the anger Ifeltfadinginto a darkand furious thingwhichgrew moresolidwithinmychestwitheverypassingmoment.
Iwasnostrangertothecold.BackintheRealm,thewintershadalwaysbeenharshandwe’dneverbeenabletowarmthe entireapartment We’dspentmorenightsthanIcouldcounthuddledtogetherinthefrontroombeforethemeagreheater,using our combined bodyheatto ease our suffering. Dad had always takenthe spotfurthestfromthe warmthwhile Montana and I rotatedbetweenspendingthenightclosesttotheheaterorsandwichedinthecentre I’dalwayspreferredbeingsquashedinthe middle, thoughithad oftenled to wakingwitha crickinmyneck. ItmeantIgotto spend the nightcurled betweenthe two peopleIlovedmostintheworld WhatIwouldn’thavegiventofeelmydad’sarmswrappingaroundmenow
ThoughI’dspentmyfair share oftime combatingthe harshwinters inthe Realm,Iknew I’dnever experiencedanything likethis.Ifitwasn’tformyslayergiftslendingmestrengthandsomeresistancetotheelements,IwasfairlycertainIwould havesuccumbedtothemalready
“Callie?” Montana’s voice sounded as ifitwere far away, and Iblinked the freezingwater frommylashes as Ilooked towardsthedoorwhichledintothebuilding
“Monty?”Icalledinreturnbutthewindstolemyvoice,faintasitwaswhileweaknessclungtomylimbs.
MyteethclashedtogetheruncontrollablyandIspottedhersteppingthroughthedoorway,hereyeswideninginshockasshe noticedmehuddledbytherailings.
“What the hell are youdoingout here?” she gasped as she rantowards me, raisinganarmto shield her face fromthe hammeringrain She caught myhand and dragged me to myfeet thoughI stumbled a little withthe numbness inmylimbs “Comeinside!”
Herweddingdresswasgoneandshe’dreplaceditwithwarm,practicalclotheswhichmademyheartachewithlonging, thoughsomepartofmedoubtedanythingwouldeverbeabletohealmeofthisbone-deepfeelingofcold.
“Ic-can’t,”Istuttered.
Icouldn’tfeel myfeetand Iswayed unsteadilyinthe three inchheels. Iwanted to rip themoffbutIequallyneeded the smallmeasureofprotectiontheyofferedmyfeetfromtherain.
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?Comeinsidebeforeyoucatchyourdamndeathouthere”Montanafrownedatmeandyanked onmyarm,tryingtogetmemovingbutmyheelsdugindespitehowmuchIwantedtogowithher,thebondofMagnar’swords leashingmeinplacedespiteeveryeffortI’dmadetorefusethem
Montana’sdarkhairwasquicklybecomingdrenchedandherfreshclothesweresaturatedwithraindropsalready.
“M-Magnarmademest-stayhere.”Ishiveredharderasherfacescrunchedinconfusion.IcouldtellshehadnoideawhatI wastryingtosayandIdidn’tknowhowIwassupposedtoputitintowordswhenmylipswerenumbandIcouldbarelyform
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Väsyneen valitus.
Joko tuonetar tumma impi
Mua luoksesi viittoat,
Joko kerrot kutsua kalman, Mua matkahan joudutat?
Olen lähtöhön valmis oitis, Tule tuonetar, toivoni!
Elo tää on tyhjyyttä mulle, Sen jätin jo hyvästi.
Mä lemmen oikkujen orja
Olen kurja ja väsynyt.
Olen kuivalle hietikkomaalle
Nyt tielläni eksynyt.
On pienoset lähteen silmät, En niistä mä reipastu.
Join kerran keitahan vettä, Ja se juoma ei unhotu.
Nyt nuorena soisin kuolla
Ja vaipua unholaan.
Oi tuonetar tumma impi Tule omasi noutamaan!
Lumisateella.
Lumihiuteet hiljallensa
Alas maahan putoo, Walkovaipan luonnottaret
Kukkuloille kutoo.
Eheyttä, yhteyttä
Aatokseni kerää.
Lumikirkas rauhantunne
Rinnassani herää. —
Peittyy vuoren tumma rinta.
Notko tyynnä lepää.
Walkoisena viidakkokin
Silmihini sepää.
Mielen ristiriidat sitoo
Wiihdytyksen vyöhyt,
On kun oisi juhlan aatto, Suuri jouluyöhyt. —
Jättikuuset kukkulalla
Yksin eivät peity, Alle vaipan valkeaisen
Ei ne vaivu, heity.
Niinpä munkin henken' hehku
Läpi hiljaisuuden
Kohouupi kätköstänsä, Luopi taiston uuden.
Käyn helmaasi.
Oi terve mun metsäni taas
Sinä luminen, pehmeäpovi.
On valkoinen joka paas'
Lumen peitossa pienosin lovi.
Kas katsovat suopeesti nuo
Puut puhtahan verhonsa yli.
Lumikätköjä oksat luo,
On viittova metsäni syli.
Sinä kuusisto kätkielet
Runopoikaani kiehkurapäistä,
Hänen lauluja lauleskelet
Ja humiset kihloista, häistä.
Runopoikani kaunonen sa
Nyt paljahin rinnoin minä
Käyn helmaasi, johdata,
Ole ainian sulhoni sinä!
Matin iltalaulu.
Tuu, tuu huminoi
Kesä-illan henki.
Lip, lip laine soi
Meren lahtosenki..
Kas, kas rannalla
Punervat on rimmet.
Ai ai talossa, Kaunihit on immet.
Hei, hei soutelen
Sinne kesäilloin, Niin niin sydämen
Rauhaton on silloin.
Aitassa. Aittani seinät on kaunistettu
Pihlajan kukkaisilla.
Orret on täysiksi varustettu
Morsiusvaattehilla.
Katossa uudet palttinapaidat
Hohtavat valkoisina.
Liinoissa punaisen ruskeat raidat Kiiluvat kirjavina.
Apilat aittani ulkopuolla
Puhtahan tuoksun luopi. —
Kultani asuvi vaaralla tuolla, Kohta mun vihiltä tuopi.
Keväinen tarina.
Poikanen metsässä kuljeskeli, Paljon lintuja näki.
Rastahat kuusissa raksutteli, Kukkui kaihosa käki.
Yhdellä oksalla ruskeasiipi
Sirkkunen virttänsä veti,
Sen puun allepa ujosti hiipi
Kulkeva poikanen heti.
Pakeni sirkkunen latvahan asti, Arkana katseli sieltä.
Poikanen herkkä se hartaimmasti.
Haasteli toivonsa kieltä:
»Laulele lintunen, laulele yhä,
Kiertäös tään ahon puita, Mulle on laulusi kallis ja pyhä, Kallehin kaikkia muita.»
Sirkkunen huoleton soitti ja sanoi
»Taivahan lintu on vapaa.»
»Laulele minulle, poikanen anoi, »Taikka sun nuoleni tapaa.»
Lintunen vastasi: »Julmako oisit?
Rintani riemuja laulan.»
— »Minulle yksin laulaa voisit, Panenko tiellesi paulan?»
Taas soi laulelo kirkas ja soma
Sirkun tullessa alas. —
Pojalla nyt oli armas ja oma, Kun hän metsästä palas.
Heikin ansa. Pani Heikki ansojaan
Ahon rintehelle.
Veljet nauroi nauruaan
Heikin pyydykselle.
Ansoillansa juoksenteli
Kaiken kesää Heikki veli
Eikä saanut saalista.
Eikö saanut? Sai kun saikin
Immen ujon, soman,
Syksyllä hän sen jo naikin, Otti kullan oman.
Veljet tuumi harmissansa
Olipa se aimo ansa, Ja se Heikki veitikka.
Paimentytön laulu.
Sinipiikani salolla
Kera metsän impysien
Liikun lemmen leikkilöissä.
Tapiolan tanhuilla
Neitosill' on kultanauhat,
Lemmenpaulat laatuisimmat, Hattu hopeainen päässä, Yllä vihryt verkanuttu
Tapiolan urhot astuu.
Tääll' on tanssi, tääll' on soitto,
Tääll' on olo onnellisten.
Kisatessa kultakutrit
Häilyy oksien lomassa,
Sinisilmät säilehtiipi.
Täällä tarhassa ilojen
Minun, pienen paimenpiijan
On niin ehtosa eleä
Viijet viikot viherjäiset.
Kotiliedellä.
On olo niin hyvä ja herttainen
Sinijärvien paltahilla,
On kansa niin tuttu ja tasainen
Karun kankahan aukeemilla.
Suon laidassa töllit ja kaskensavut
Mun mieltäni kiinittää.
On olo niin hyvä ja herttainen
Kotilieteni lämpimässä.
Jos ulkona viima on vihainen,
On lauhkea tyyneys tässä.
Hion helmiksi luonteeni himmeät avut
Saan kuonasta kiiltävää.
On olo niin hyvä ja herttainen
Oman puolison armasteloissa.
Korukiiltoa mahti on mainehen,
Kun rinnan lempi on poissa,
Ja eipä myös pistä pilkan havut,
Kun on yksi, mi ymmärtää.
Yhteis-onni.
Hänen hienoja katsele kasvojaan
Ja vienoja, rikkaita kutrejaan
Ja otsaa ylvähintä.
Äly hällä on silmien kaunistus,
On hempeä poskeinsa puhtaus
Ja hymyssä viehkeintä.
Sä antaos hänelle kunniaa,
Elä halvoin aattehin luokseen saa
Pois pankosi matala mieli.
On tunteensa tuulonen raitista, Häll' aatteen holvi on avara,
Ja päilyvä pihtipieli.
Ole suuri, hän silloin rakastaa
Koko sielun nuorella hehkullaan
Sua elonsa toverina.
Ja onnenne kukkaistarhassa
On narsissia ja kieloja, Mitk' keinuvat hentoisina.
Ja aatteen vuorille taivaltain
Kas' käissä te käytte riemahtain,
Kun kukkulat vapaina hohtaa.
Tai taistoissa seisotte rinnakkain
Te kahden sitkaina, iloiten vain, Kun lujuus se voittohon johtaa.
Ja teillä on rinnoissa sopuisuus
Ja kodeissa kirkkaus, valoisuus
Ja mieli niin suopea, hyvä.
Soi teille sulosti kantelo,
Jok' on ollut tuhanten kaipio
Ikilemmen kantelo syvä.
Epätietoa.
Voi jälleen luokseni saapuvi. Nuo tuskan kyynelet kuumat.
Suru sortavi muinaset riemuni
Ja itku mun iloini huumat.
Mä luulin mure on paennut,
On sopuhun sointunut sielun.
Mut pirstaksi raukesi haaveilut.
Nään suurena vaivojen nielun.
Kiven painolla elämän kysymys
Mun rintaani ahdistaapi,
Ja varjona onneni sisällys
Mun luotani kaikkoaapi.
Ja yöni on pitkä ja pimeä.
Ja otsaani polte pohtaa. —
Voi, koskahan selviää elämä,
Ja tähtöset mullekin hohtaa.
Ollos suuri.
Kevät on ja tanssii kukkasilla
Kultasäteet auringon.
En mä kiiri ilon tanhuilla, Mulla mieli muuall' on.
Tai kun syksy syöstävätään siirtää, Kutoo keltakankaitaan.
Aatokseni kuviansa piirtää, Unelmoitsen yhä vaan.
Suuruus, pilviin nouseva ja ylväs
Sinuun aatos ailakoi.
Sinä jätti, ihmisaatten pylväs
Sua sielun' unelmoi,
Sua kaipaan, sua etsin koito.
Kerran mulle siinnä sä!
Vaiko majas' rakensit niin loitos
Ett' en sinne ennätä. —
Monethan ne pieniks täällä jäivät. —
Pelkään pienen elämää,
Arkimieli, arkiaatteen häivät
Kaiken suuren himmentää.
Suuruus, väistythän sä humun luota
Väistyt mainettakin maan.
Suuruutta ei ihmiselle tuota
Kulta-, laakerkruunutkaan.
Marmorpalatsiinkin harvoin kuljet
Timanttien välkkeesen
Sua lahjois' monet, heiltä suljet
Aartehesi kieltäen.
Suuruus, harvat tietoviisahatkaan
Vaippaasi saa koskettaa —
Polo ihminen, kuin uskallatkaan
Suurta konsaan tavoittaa. —
Mut mä tahdon, mull' on uskallusta
Elää suuruus-unelmaa. —
Tunnen sisässäni sarastusta, Mulle ääni kuiskuttaa:
Unelmoitse suuruutt' minuutesi,
Henkes' herkän heelmiä,
Taivaankaaren hohdett' tunteillesi
Suur' kuin taivas ollos sä!
Ongelmia.
Inehmoinen seisahtuu
Epätiedon tuulispäihin
Sekä itsekkyyden jäihin
Maat ja kansat uppoaa.
Henki, ydin uskosta
Dogmein alle haudatahan.
Harvoin lentoon lasketahan
Kipunaakaan totuutta.
Lait usein yksillen
Kaiken oikeuden jakaa, Muutpa taistelujen takaa
Saavat siitä murenen.
Yhteiskunta ylpeilee
Istuimilla maisen mahdin, Kenpä tarkoin taitaa tahdin
Vihdoin niille kiivennee.
Oi! Te suuret valtiaat
Oman edun haamu harmaa
Kaiken sovun jäytää, karmaa. Inha haamu surmatkaat!
Ei! Te ootte kuuroja,
Teill' on kirkko vaippananne.
Sotavoimin laumojanne
Teill' on halu hallita.
Sillä totuus mailmassa
On kuin kupla aallokossa.
Hetken väikkyy. Tuokiossa Näkyy siitä pirstoja.
Ystävyyttä ostat vaan,
Lempes' peittyy arkihuoliin, Tingit ihanteistas' puoliin,
Myyt ne vielä kokonaan.
Tahi ehkä himoinnet
Hengen mailla kuuluisuutta.
Saarnaat oppia sä uutta, Jota itse epäilet.
Ei! Sä tahdot tiellesi
Onnettaret hymyposket.
Juur' kun huntuansa kosket, Luotas' pois ne kaikkovi. —
Lienet herkkä. — Musertaa
Sua kaiken epätieto,
Kysyt: »Miks on elo mieto
Miks' on kurja koko maa.«
Ivan peikko ilkamoi:
Se on palkka ihmisturheen
Rintaan pisto mailmanmurheen, Tuntoon tuima tuskan koi.
Me tahdomme.
Me tahdomme voittoa totuuden,
Me tahdomme ihannemaata,
Ja vaikkapa määrä on kaukainen,
Me siit' emme luopua saata.
Kun loukot kaikki on valaistu,
Ja virtaavi raittiit tuulet,
Kun voimat kaikki on nostettu,
Ja sopua soivat huulet,
Kun kasvavi laihoja lakeita,
Ja tammet siimestä suovat,
Maa antavi runsaita lahjoja, Elononnea ihmiset juovat,
Niin silloin voitto on totuuden. —
Me siitä jo riemuitsemme,
Siks' tietä me jalojen aatteiden
Nyt työllämme aukaisemme.
Veljeyden aate.
Riennä sä sanoma voimalla riennä
Ihana sanoma veljeyden,
Sorretun surua, tuskia liennä, Henkiös lohtua lempeyden.
Missä on valta ja antimet suuret, Sieltä ne levitä ympäri maan,
Missä on kuihtua hyvehen juuret
Saata ne kukkana kukoistamaan.
Missä on uljasta tarmon työtä
Ohjaile mieliä toimivien,
Missä on unta ja velttojen yötä
Terästä ryhtiä ihmisien.
Nosta sä yksilöt yhteiskunta,
Satoja sulkuja aukaise.
Sulata rintojen jäätä ja lunta,
Maailma valloita, hallitse!
Rauhan tähtönen.
Veritahroja kantoi otsallaan
Tää onneton ihmissuku.
Veri virtasi vuolaana ruumiistaan
Ja suur' oli sotien luku.
Ken kipuja itki, se pilkattiin,
Ja raukaksi mainittihin,
Mut sotien sankarit taivaisiin
Ja kunniaan kutsuttihin.
Vaan kuink' oli musta ja toivoton
Tuo aseiden antama rauha.
Nous' usein taivahat ruskohon
Ja myrskyhyn ilma lauha.
Uus valkeus silloin pilkoitti
Kuin välkkyvä tähden lento,
Ja miljoonia se hurmasi
Tuo viesti niin outo ja vento.
Tuo sanoma rauhaa jalointa
Ja sopu suurinta vaati.
Sen maailman valtojen nähdäksi
Nyt mahtava keisari laati.
Ei ihme jos lämpesi herkimmät
Ja loistavin otsin huusi:
»Ylös uutehen uskoon ystävät,
Nyt koittavi aika uusi.» —
Mut salama tähtösen sammutti —
Taas maatamme pimeys peittää,
Sotajoukkoja ruhtinas vaativi,
Ja useat uskonsa heittää.
Mut ei nyt pelkohon vaivuta
Vaikk' kaikuis' asehen helke!
Vaikk' oisikin kentälle kuoltava
— On nähtynä rauhan välke.
Siis hyvästi tähtönen ihana,
Ja hyvästi unelma jalo!
Tule kerran leijonan voimalla
Ja syttäös ikuinen valo!
Rauhan unelma.
Miehet pukee sotahaarniskansa
Noutain vaatimusta valtojen,
Kimaltavan säilän huotrastansa
Ilmoihin he nostaa uhmaten
Tuoden tuhoa ja turmaa,
Sotain hävitystä, surmaa.
Mutta kertoohan tuo rakkauden
Laki elämästä jalosta,
Jot' ei maine sotaurhouden
Koskonkana voita, saavuta.
Sille raakuutta on murha
Sodan voitto halpa, turha.
Elo vast' on sotatanner suuri
Koko ihmisikä taistoa.
Ihmisrinta pyhin voiton muuri,
Ihanteilla vain se vallita!
Ihmisyyttä aina aja,
Niin oot jaloin valloittaja!
Rauhanlinna maassa kaunis oisi,
Sille miljoonien kiitokset
Kultapylvähiä tueks' loisi
Tekis' holvikaaret hopeiset.
— Mut tuo haave kuni sumu
Haihtuu, kun käy aseen humu. —
Suur' on ristiriita olojemme. —
Toive, lennä aikain taa,
Jolloin monet hurmetanteremme
Kukkain kattamina tuoksuaa,
Sotamaine sadun lailla
Unhoittuupi niillä mailla.
Miehet rautapuvun hylkeääpi
Terästellen aseet jalommat,
Silloin rauhanmarssit heläjääpi
Valon taistelua johtavat.
Silloin verta kammoo kansa
Miekka ruostuu tupessansa.
Itkuinen soitto.
Itke Wäinön viulu vieno
Ihmishengen hehkuvaiset
Tuliliekit tuskaisimmat.
Soi'os soitanto sorea,
Kaiuttele kaihokielin
Kipuvirret viljavimmat!
Itke Wäinön viulu vieno, Kylvä kyynelkarpaloita,
Loihtios sä itkulampi,
Jossa uisimme utuiset
Hettehessä hentokaiset
Niin ois' elo ehoisampi.
Itkusta me innon saaden
Kohoisimme kaihotulle,
Vihannalle valkamalle.
Silloin kantelo Kalevan
Riemuistakin rikkahana
Kajahtaisi korkealle.
Suomen miehen talvimietteitä
Mä Suomeni kesää jo vuottelin
Kun urvuista vihersi kujat, Ja viljelys laajeni korpihin
Ja työss' oli voimat lujat.
Mut juuri kun kevääseen uskoimme
Tuli armoton, hyytävä talvi.
Me vilusta väristen seisomme, Ja huojuvi uskomme valvi.
Olis tullunna tuho mun huoneeseen
Ja vaimoni, lapseni lyönyt.
Tai astunut kontio laitumeen
Ja karjasta parhaat syönyt.
Olis otsaani iskuja isketty,
Olis kipuja suotuna mulle,
Mut päivä ja kevät ois säästetty
Mun kallis Suomeni sulle.
Niin silloin kuolisin hymyillen, Mut Suomeni toukoonsa luottais'.
Valonkukkia, heelmiä aatteiden
Sen vapahat vainiot tuottais'.
Helmikuulla 1899.
Kevään keskellä.
Suomen virrat vuolahat ne
Jäitänsä vie meriin.
Sitkeästi kylmän valta
Pohjolasta erii.
Hurraten me aina ennen
Jäitä jättelimme,
Vaieten nyt seisoimme ja
Virtaan katselimme —