“For fathers soon expecting the ultimate gift—a new member of the family—The Expectant Father is their best friend.”
CNN.com
“This constantly updated … classic reveals the myriad ways an impending pregnancy influences dad: emotional and physical effects, societal expectations, financial implications, the impact on your social and sex lives, and whether you’re really ready.”
—Fatherly
“This is probably the best book geared exclusively towards expectant fathers. No lame jokes. Just straight up useful information. The Expectant Father covers the pregnancy process and how dads can help in it, as well as provides tons of useful info for dads on raising a kid. They also cover why dads are so important in the development of a child and how children influence fathers.”
The ArtofManliness
“From fertility issues to epidurals, this modern classic covers it all in an easily digestible but authoritative tone.… Brott and Ash have produced a no-nonsense, month-by-month guide to becoming a parent by offering a comprehensive view of physical, emotional, financial, and medical matters faced by fathers-to-be.”
“Brott and Ash’s measured, experienced tone offers assurance and guidance for those new to the stresses and worries of impending fatherhood, making this a must-have for anyone expecting.”
—Publishers Weekly
“Once the sperm has done the deed, men often get neglected in the birth process. But becoming a parent is as life-altering for men as it is for women, and dads deserve to know what to expect. When my friend told me she was pregnant, the first thing I did was buy The Expectant Father for her hubby. And when I diagnose a pregnancy in one of my patients, I put this book on the must-read list.”
Lissa Rankin, M.D. OB/GYN, New YorkTimes best-selling author
“Don’t get pregnant without it! A first-rate guide for all dads-to-be.”
—Vicki Lansky, author of FeedMe,I’m Yours
“Finally. A pregnancy book for fathers, and a very good one. It not only recognizes the deep emotions of expectant fathers, but it guides them through their emotional roller coaster with wisdom and understanding.”
—Marguerite Kelly, author of The Mother’s Almanac
“The book does a great job in covering what most other books don’t: the father’s perspective during pregnancy, and the questions that might pop up there. Throughout the pages, the author inserts some levity with cartoons that sum up the situation.”
—Fathercraft
“Extraordinarily helpful … packed with specific advice.” The Oregonian
“Stood out immediately … because of its perceptive insights.” San Francisco Chronicle
“One would be hard put to find a question about having a baby that’s not dealt with here, all from the father’s perspective.”
—Library Journal
ABOUT THEEXPECTANTFATHER: THEULTIMATEGUIDEFORDADSTO-BE,
FIFTH EDITION
The Expectant Father is the best-selling pregnancy guide for men, trusted by millions of dads-to-be.
This reassuring month-by-month overview gives you the tools you need to support your partner and prepare for the joys and challenges of fatherhood. It concludes with two special sections: one on labor and delivery, and the other covering the first few months after your baby’s arrival.
The fifth edition of The Expectant Father is updated from cover to cover with the latest information about fertility, prenatal care, and delivery; work-life balance (including the lessons learned from COVID-19); financial planning; and much more. It incorporates the expertise of leading OB-GYNs and researchers, and the real-life experiences of hundreds of dads and moms.
Illustrated throughout with stress-relieving cartoons, The Expectant Father is a friendly, readable, and inclusive companion for all dadsto-be.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Armin A. Brott is a nationally recognized parenting expert and the author of ten critically acclaimed books for fathers, including The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year and The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the Toddler Years, 12–36 Months. He also writes a syndicated newspaper column, Ask Mr. Dad, and hosts a weekly radio show, Positive Parenting. To learn more, visit his website, mrdad.com.
Jennifer Ash Rudick is the author of several books on interior design, the design editor at large for Galerie magazine, and a producer of documentary films, including the award-winning Iris (with Maysles Films) and Scandalous.
OTHER E-BOOKS IN THE NEW FATHER SERIES
The New Father
A Dad’s Guide to the First Year
THIRD EDITION
The New Father
A Dad’s Guide to the Toddler Years
THIRD EDITION
Also available in hardcover, paperback, andaudiobookformats
For Tirzah, Talya, and Zoe, who made me a better dad. And for Shaundra, who makes me a better man.
—A.B.
In memory of my father, Clarke Ash, and for Joe, Clarke, Emmy, and my mother, Agnes, with love and affection. —J.A.R.
Contents
Cover
Praise for The Expectant Father
About The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-To-Be, Fifth Edition
About the Authors
Other e-Books in the New Father Series
Title Page
Dedication
INTRODUCTION
FIRST DECISIONS
THE FIRST MONTH
Salad Days
THE SECOND MONTH
The Doctor Will See You Now
THE THIRD MONTH
Spreading the Word
THE FOURTH MONTH
Money, Money, Money
THE FIFTH MONTH
The Lights Are On and Somebody Is Home
THE SIXTH MONTH
Work and Family
THE SEVENTH MONTH
Entering the Home Stretch
THE EIGHTH MONTH
Making a List and Checking It Twice
THE NINTH MONTH
“Dear, It’s Time … ”
LABOR AND DELIVERY
CESAREAN SECTION
GEE HONEY, NOW WHAT DO WE DO?
FATHERING TODAY
APPENDIXES
Infertility: When Things Don’t Go as Planned
Resources
Selected Bibliography
Acknowledgments
Index
Illustration Credits
Copyright Page
Introduction
When my wife got pregnant with our first child, I was the happiest I’d ever been. That pregnancy, labor, and the baby’s birth was a time of incredible closeness, tenderness, and passion. Long before we’d married, my wife and I had made a commitment to participate equally in raising our children. And it seemed only natural that the process of shared parenting should begin during pregnancy. Since neither of us had had children before, we were both rather ill prepared for pregnancy. Fortunately for my wife, there were literally hundreds of books and other resources designed to educate, encourage, support, and comfort women during their pregnancies. But when it finally hit me that I, too, was expecting (although in a very different kind of way), and that the pregnancy was bringing out feelings and emotions I didn’t understand, there simply weren’t any resources for me to turn to. I looked for answers in my wife’s pregnancy books, but information about what expectant fathers go through (if it was discussed at all) was at best superficial, consisting mostly of advice on how men could be supportive of their pregnant wives, or, even less helpfully, why men might have affairs during their wife’s pregnancy. To make things worse, my wife and I were the first couple in our circle of close friends to get pregnant, which meant that there was no one else I could talk to about what I was going through, no one who could reassure me that what I was feeling was normal and all right.
Until relatively recently, there has been precious little research on expectant fathers’ emotional and psychological experiences during pregnancy. The very title of one of the first articles to appear on the subject should give you some idea of the medical and psychiatric communities’ attitude toward the impact of pregnancy on men. Written by William H. Wainwright, M.D., and published in the July 1966 issue of the American Journal of Psychiatry, it was called “Fatherhood as a Precipitant of Mental Illness.” (Another wonderful
article that came out at about the same time was: “Psychoses in Males in Relation to Their Wives’ Pregnancy and Childbirth.”)
As you’ll soon find out, though, an expectant father’s experience during the transition to fatherhood is not confined simply to excitement—or mental illness. If it were, this book would never have been written. The reality is that men’s emotional response to pregnancy is no less varied than women’s; expectant fathers feel everything from relief to denial, fear to frustration, anger to joy. And for up to 80 percent of men, there are physical symptoms of pregnancy as well (more on this on pages 74–78).
So why haven’t men’s experiences been discussed more? In my opinion, it’s because we, as a society, value motherhood more than fatherhood. As a result, we tend to automatically assume that issues of pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing are women’s issues. But as you’ll learn both from reading this book and from your own experience—that’s simply not the case.
WHO, EXACTLY, HAS WRITTEN THIS BOOK?
From the very beginning, my goal in writing The Expectant Father has been to help you—the dad-to-be—understand and make sense of what you’re going through during your (psychological and emotional) pregnancy. The rationale was simple: the more you understand about what you’re going through, the better prepared you’ll be and the more likely you’ll be to take an interest in—and stay involved throughout the pregnancy. Research has shown that the earlier fathers get involved (and what could be earlier than pregnancy?), the more likely they are to be involved after their children are born. That’s good for your child, good for you, and good for your relationship with your child’s mother. All that’s very nice, of course, but it’s clearly dependent on your partner’s being pregnant. So a good understanding of her perspective on the pregnancy—emotional as well as physical—is essential to understanding how you will react. It was precisely this
perspective that Jennifer Ash Rudick, along with hundreds of other women (including plenty of expectant and new mothers) I’ve interviewed over the years, provided. Throughout the process of writing the book, all of these women contributed valuable information and comments, not only about what pregnant women are going through but also about the ways women most want men to be involved, and the impact that the dad-to-be’s involvement has on the entire pregnancy experience.
A NOTE ON STRUCTURE
Throughout the book I try to present straightforward, practical information in an easy-to-absorb format. Each of the main chapters is divided into four sections, as follows:
What’s Going On with Your Partner
Even though this is a book about what you as an expectant father are going through during pregnancy, and how you can best stay involved, it’s critical that you understand what your partner is going through and when. For that reason, we start each chapter with a summary of your partner’s physical and emotional pregnancy experience.
What’s Going On with the Baby
You can’t very well have a pregnancy without a baby, right? This section lets you in on your future child’s progress—from sperm and egg to living, breathing infant—and everything in between.
What’s Going On with You
This section covers the wide range of feelings—good, bad, indifferent, scary, weird, and thrilling—that you’ll probably experience at some time during the pregnancy. It also describes such things as the physical changes you may go through, your dreams, your changing values, your relationships with other people, and the ways the pregnancy may affect your sex life.
Staying Involved
While the “What’s Going On with You” section covers the emotional, psychological, intellectual, and physical sides of pregnancy, this section gives you specific facts, tips, and advice on practical, handson things you can do to make the pregnancy “yours” as well as your partner’s. For instance, you’ll find information on how to start a college fund for the baby, valuable advice on getting the most out of your birth classes, great ways to start communicating with and getting to know your baby before he or she is born, and tips on finding work/family balance (hint: there’s no such thing, but with planning, you may be able to get close). And sprinkled throughout, you’ll find suggestions for how to be supportive of your partner and how to stay included at every stage of the pregnancy.
This 25th anniversary edition of The Expectant Father covers much more than the nine months of pregnancy. We’ve included a detailed chapter on labor and delivery and another on Cesarean section, both of which will prepare you for the big event and how best to help your partner through the birth itself. Perhaps even more important, these chapters prepare you for the often-overwhelming emotions you may experience when your partner is in labor and your child is born.
We’ve also included a special chapter that addresses the major questions and concerns you may have about caring for and getting to know your child in the first few weeks after you bring him or her home. If someone hasn’t bought them for you already, I’d recommend that you pick up The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year and The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the Toddler Years, 12–36 Months. These books pick up where this one leaves off and continue the process of giving you the skills, knowledge, confidence, and support you’ll need to be the best possible dad—the dad you want to be and the dad your child (and partner) needs you to be. All of them (including this one) are also available as e-books and audiobooks.
Toward the end of this book there is a chapter called “Fathering Today,” in which you’ll learn to recognize and overcome the many
obstacles you may encounter along the road to becoming an actively involved dad.
As you go through The Expectant Father, remember that the process of becoming a dad is different for every man, and that none of us will react to the same situation in exactly the same way. You may find that some of what’s described in the “What’s Going On with You” section in the third-month chapter won’t really ring true for you until the fifth month, or that you already experienced it in the first month. I’ve tried to tie the ideas and activities in the “Staying Involved” sections to specific stages of the pregnancy. But, hey, it’s your baby, so if you want to do things in a different order, knock yourself out.
A NOTE ON TERMINOLOGY
Wife, Girlfriend, Lover, He, She …
In an attempt to avoid offending anyone (an approach I’ve discovered usually ends up offending everyone), I’ve decided to refer to the woman who’s carrying the baby as “your partner.” And because your partner is just as likely to be carrying a boy as a girl, we’ve alternated between “he” and “she” when referring to the baby (except where something applies specifically to boys or girls).
Hospitals, Doctors …
Not everyone who has a baby delivers in a hospital or is under the care of a medical doctor. Still, because that’s the most frequent scenario, we’ve chosen to refer to the place where the baby will be born as “the hospital” and to the people attending the birth (besides you, of course) as “doctors,” “nurses,” “medical professionals,” “providers,” or “practitioners”—except, of course, in the sections that specifically deal with home birth and/or midwives.
As a rule, today’s dads (and expectant dads) want to be much more involved with their children than their own fathers and grandfathers were able to be. It’s my firm belief that the first step on the road toward full involvement is to take an active role in the pregnancy.
And it’s our hope that when you’re through reading The Expectant Father—which is the book Jennifer wishes she could have bought for her husband when she was pregnant and the one I wish I’d had when I was an expectant dad you’ll be much better prepared to participate in this important new phase of your life.
So why should you get involved now, before you actually become a dad? Simply put, because it’s good for your child, your partner, and yourself. As mentioned above, involvement during pregnancy is a good predictor of involvement after the pregnancy. And children who grow up in homes where the dad is involved do better in math and science, are more sociable, are more tenacious when solving problems, and, thinking waaaay out into the future, are less likely to use drugs or alcohol or become teen parents.
When the dad-to-be is involved during the pregnancy, he and his partner are more likely to be together for their child’s third birthday than partnerships in which dad isn’t as involved. Pregnant women whose partners are involved prenatally are more likely to get prenatal care and, if they smoke, to quit. They’re also less likely to give birth prematurely or deliver low-birth-weight babies, and thus more likely to avoid the constellation of short- and long-term problems that both of those situations give rise to, which, sadly, include death. Conversely, women whose partners aren’t supportive during the pregnancy are “more likely to view their pregnancy as unwanted,” according to researcher Jacinta Bronte-Tinkew. Finally, your being involved now makes it more likely that your partner will breastfeed your baby (we’ll talk about why that’s so important later on).
For you, being an involved dad will reduce the chance that you’ll engage in risky behavior. You’ll probably start taking better care of yourself, you’ll be happier in your relationship with your partner, and you’ll even perform better at work.
WHAT’S NEW IN THIS EDITION
This 25th anniversary edition of The Expectant Father is landing in a very different world than the one into which the first edition was
“born.” For that reason, it’s been fully updated to reflect the most current science and research, thinking, and social trends. Since the book was first published, I’ve received literally thousands of letters (yes, people still do send letters), emails, tweets, Facebook messages, and even phone calls from readers offering comments and suggestions on how to make this book better. I’ve incorporated many of them into this edition, and I know that the book is greatly improved as a result. Let me give you a quick rundown:
■ ADOPTIVE FATHERS. Although your partner may not actually be carrying a baby, the two of you are still very much “psychologically pregnant.” There’s a lot of research, in fact, that suggests that in the months leading up to the adoption of their child, expectant adoptive fathers deal with many of the same emotional and psychological issues that biologically expectant fathers do.
■ MULTIPLES. We’ve expanded the sections geared toward expectant fathers of twins, triplets, and so forth.
■ OVERCOMING INFERTILITY. As the average age of new parents increases, more and more couples are experiencing infertility. So we’ve included an appendix on infertility and pre-conception strategies you can employ to increase the chances that you and your partner will conceive.
■ THE ART OF FATHERHOOD. An increasing number of couples are conceiving through the use of ART (assisted reproductive technology), which includes IVF (in vitro fertilization), artificial insemination, donor sperm, donor eggs, and gestational carriers (who used to be referred to as surrogates). We’ve included a number of sections that deal with the fascinating contemporary issues facing ART dads and their partners.
■ GI DADS. Every year, a huge number of men (and women) from all branches of the service spend at least part of their partner’s pregnancy thousands of miles away. Many of them come home to a child who was born while they were deployed. As a Marine myself (I got out long ago, but as we all know, there’s no such thing as an “ex-Marine”), I knew I needed to do as much as I could to help our servicemembers. For that reason, we’ve included several sections in
this book designed to help expectant military dads stay involved before, during, and after the pregnancy so that they can hit the ground running when they get back home. I go into these issues in much more detail in my book The Military Father: AHands-on Guide for DeployedDads.
■ THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WOMEN’S AND MEN’S PSYCHOLOGICAL JOURNEY THROUGH PREGNANCY. They generally feel the same things, but men are typically a trimester behind. That delay can cause conflict, especially toward the end of the pregnancy.
■ WORK AND FAMILY. Among the many issues discussed, we address the benefits to companies, dads, kids, and moms of employers’ offering and encouraging the use of father-friendly policies.
WE NEED YOUR HELP
I’d love to hear your experiences, feelings, comments, and suggestions, and I’ll try to incorporate them into future editions of this book. You can email me at armin@MrDad.com. And as long as you’re online, please visit my website (mrdad.com). Info on how to connect with me on social media is in the Resources appendix of the book, on page 310.
Now, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let’s get you started on this new and wonderful stage of your life!
First Decisions
Among the first major questions you and your partner will face after learning she’s pregnant are: Where are we going to have the baby? Who’s going to help us deliver it? How much is it all going to cost? To a certain extent, the answers will be dictated by your health insurer, but there are still a range of options to consider. As you weigh all your choices, give your partner at least 51 percent of the vote. After all, the ultimate decision really affects her more than it does you.
WHERE AND HOW Hospitals
For most couples—especially first-time parents—the hospital is the most common place to give birth. It’s also, in many people’s view, the safest. In the unlikely event that complications arise, most hospitals have specialists on staff twenty-four hours a day and are equipped with all the necessary life-saving equipment and medications. And in those first hectic hours or days after the birth, the staff monitors the baby and mother and helps both new parents with the dozens of questions that are likely to come up. They also run interference for you and help fend off unwanted intrusions. If you have a choice among several hospitals in your area, be sure to take a tour of each one before making your decision. Most of the time, you’ll end up going with the hospital where your partner’s doctor or midwife has privileges (or where your insurance plan says you can go). Some people do it the other way around: they select the hospital first and then find a practitioner who’s associated with that hospital. Many hospitals now have birthing rooms (or entire birthing centers) that are carefully decorated to look less sterile and medical and more
like a bedroom at home, although the effect is really more like a nice hotel suite or a quaint bed-and-breakfast. The cozy decor is supposed to make you and your partner feel more comfortable. But with the wood furniture cleverly concealing sophisticated monitoring equipment, the cabinets full of sterile supplies, and nurses dropping by every hour or so to give your partner a pelvic exam, it’s going to be hard to forget where you are. Keep in mind that at some hospitals, birthing rooms are assigned on a first-come-first-served basis, so don’t count on getting one—unless you can convince your partner to go into labor before anyone else does that day. In other hospitals, all the labor rooms are also birthing rooms, so this won’t be an issue.
Hospitals, by their nature, are pretty busy places, and they have all sorts of rules and policies that may or may not make sense to you. Giving birth in a hospital generally involves less privacy for you and your partner, and more routine (and sometimes intrusive) procedures for her and the baby.
That said, if your partner is considered “high risk” (meaning she’s carrying twins or more, is over thirty-five or under seventeen, has had any complications during a previous delivery, had complications during this pregnancy, has any medical risk factors—including high blood pressure, obesity, cardiac or bleeding disorders, and epilepsy or was told as much by her practitioner), a hospital birth will—and should—be your only choice.
Freestanding Birthing Centers
Of the 1–2 percent of births that take place outside a hospital, about 30 percent happen in private birthing centers. Usually staffed by certified nurse-midwives (CNMs), these facilities tend to offer a more personal approach to the birthing process. They look and feel a lot like home—nice wallpaper, hot tubs, and sometimes even a kitchen. They’re generally less rigid than hospitals and more willing to accommodate any special requests your partner or you might have. For example, there are fewer routine medical interventions, your partner may be allowed to eat during labor (a big no-no at most hospitals), and she’ll be able to wear her own clothes—none of those
unflattering hospital gowns unless she really wants one. The staff will also try to make sure your partner and baby are never separated. One downside is that you and your newly expanded family may need to check out as soon as six to ten hours after the birth (as opposed to the twenty-four to forty-eight hours you’d expect to stay after a hospital birth).
Private birthing centers are designed to deal with uncomplicated, low-risk pregnancies and births, so expect to be prescreened. And don’t worry: if something doesn’t go exactly as planned, birthing centers are always affiliated with a doctor and are usually either attached to a hospital or only a short ambulance ride away.
If you’re interested in exploring this option, start by getting a recommendation from your partner’s practitioner or friends and family. Or, contact the American Association of Birth Centers at birthcenters.org.
Home Birth
With all their high-tech efficiency and stark, impersonal, antiseptic conditions, hospitals are not for everyone. As a result, some couples (less than 1 percent) decide to have their baby at home. Home birth has been around forever (before 1920, that’s where most births happened) but has been out of favor in this country for a long time. It is, however, making something of a comeback as more and more people (most of whom aren’t even hippies) decide to give it a try.
My wife and I thought about a home birth for our second baby but ultimately decided against it. While I don’t consider myself particularly squeamish, I just couldn’t imagine how we’d avoid making a mess all over the bedroom carpet. What really clinched it for us, though, was that our first child had been an emergency Cesarean section. Fearing that we might run into problems again, we opted to be near the doctors.
If you’re thinking about a home birth, be prepared. Having a baby at home is quite a bit different from the way it’s made out to be in those old westerns. You’ll need to assume much more responsibility for the whole process than if you were using a hospital. It takes a lot of research and preparation. At the very least, you’re going to need
a lot more than clean towels and boiling water. Making the decision to give birth at home does not mean that your partner can skip getting prenatal care or that the two of you should plan on delivering your baby alone. You’ll still need to be in regular, close contact with a medical professional to ensure that the pregnancy is progressing normally, and you should make sure to have someone present at the birth who has plenty of experience with childbirth (no, not your sister or your mother-in-law, unless they happen to be qualified). So if you’re planning on going this route, start working on selecting a midwife right now.
Statistically, it’s pretty unlikely that you’ll go this route. But in case you’re considering it, I want to take you through some of the reasons people commonly give for wanting to have their baby at home, and some situations that would make a home birth unnecessarily risky.
WHY TO HAVE THE BABY AT HOME
■ The surroundings are more familiar, comfortable, and private.
■ You don’t like or are afraid of—hospitals and doctors. Or you had a negative experience with a previous birth.
■ You’ve already had one or more uncomplicated hospital births.
■ You can surround yourselves with anyone you pick.
■ The birth is more likely to go exactly as you want than it might anywhere else. And
WHY NOT TO HAVE THE BABY AT HOME
■ Your partner is over 35 or has been told by her doctor that she’s “high risk.”
■ She’s carrying twins (or more) or you find out that the baby is breech (feet down instead of head down).
■ She goes into labor prematurely or she’s more than a week overdue.
■ She developed preeclampsia, a condition that affects about 10 percent of pregnant women and that can have very serious complications if it’s not detected and treated early (see pages 61–62 for more on this).
your partner will be treated less like a patient than she would be in a hospital.
■ You can pay attention to the spiritual aspects of the delivery, an intimate matter that you might be discouraged from, or feel embarrassed about, in the hospital.
■ Hospitals are full of sick people and it’s best to stay far away from them.
■ It’s cheaper.
■ She has diabetes or a heart or kidney condition, has had hemorrhaging in a previous labor, has had a previous Cesarean section, or smokes cigarettes.
■ Your insurance might not cover it.
Natural Unmedicated vs. Medicated Birth
Since childbirth is, by definition, a natural process, most health professionals have stopped using the word natural to mean “without drugs, pain medication, or medical intervention,” instead opting for the more accurate word, unmedicated.
The simple truth is that labor and delivery are going to be plenty painful for both of you, although in different ways and many couples elect to take advantage of the advances medical science has made in relieving the associated pain and discomfort. As with everything else related to your partner’s pregnancy, I encourage you to get involved in the discussions; the final decision, however, should be your partner’s. Proponents of some childbirth methods (see pages 161–67) are almost religiously committed to the idea of a drug-free delivery, to the extent that they often make women who opt for any pain medication feel that they’ve somehow failed. Besides making a lot of new parents feel bad about themselves when they should be celebrating the birth of their baby, that militant attitude is simply out of touch with reality. Nationwide, according to the CDC, more than 70 percent of women give birth using an epidural (the most common method of pain relief) or a spinal (up from 61 percent in 2008).
Those numbers vary quite a bit by state—from a low of 35 percent in Maine to a high of 79 percent in Nevada—and by race and ethnicity, with non-Hispanic white women more likely than women of color to have pain meds.
There are advantages and disadvantages to both medicated and unmedicated births, and we’ll talk about them when we get closer to your baby’s due date. But for now, the most important thing is to be flexible and not let your friends, relatives, or anyone else pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.
You and your partner may be planning an unmedicated childbirth, but conditions could develop that necessitate intervention or the use of medication (see pages 60–63). On the other hand, you may be planning a medicated delivery but could find yourself snowed in someplace far from your hospital and any pain medication, or the anesthesiologist may be at an emergency on the other side of town.
WHO’S GOING TO HELP?
At first glance, it may seem that your partner should be picking a medical practitioner alone after all, she’s the one who’s going to be poked and prodded as the pregnancy develops. But considering that more than 90 percent of today’s expectant fathers are present during the delivery of their children, and that the vast majority of them have been involved in some significant way throughout the pregnancy, you’re probably going to be spending a lot of time with the practitioner as well. So if at all possible, you should feel comfortable with the final choice too. Here are the main players.
Private Obstetrician
If your partner is over twenty, she’s probably been seeing a gynecologist for a few years. And since many gynecologists also do obstetrics, it should come as no surprise that most couples elect to have the woman’s regular obstetrician/gynecologist (OB/GYN) deliver the baby.
Private OB/GYNs are generally the most expensive way to go, but your insurance company will probably pick up a good part of the bill.
Most private OBs, however, aren’t strictly private; they usually have a number of partners, which means that the doctor you see for your prenatal appointments might not be the one in attendance at the birth. So make sure that you’re aware of and comfortable with the backup arrangements—just in case your baby decides to show up on a day when your regular doctor isn’t on call. Labor and delivery are going to be stressful enough without having to deal with a doctor you’ve never met before.
Researcher Sandra Howell-White found that women who view childbirth as risky, or who want to have a say in managing their pain or the length of their labor, tend to opt for obstetricians.
What to Ask Your Prospective Practitioner
Besides a medical school degree, OB/GYNs may have little else in common. Each will have a slightly different philosophy and approach to pregnancy and birth. The same (except for the medical school part) can be said for midwives. So before making a final decision about who’s going to deliver your baby, you should get satisfactory answers to the following questions and any others you can think of. (If at all possible, make a separate appointment to do this. You’ll never be able to get everything in a fifteen-minute visit. And no, there are no stupid questions—we’re talking about your partner and baby here.)
ESPECIALLY FOR OB/GYNS
■ How do you feel about the father being there for prenatal exams and attending the delivery? Are you enthusiastic about it or just tolerant?
■ Do you recommend any particular childbirth preparation method (Lamaze, Bradley, and so on)?
■ At which hospital(s) do you deliver your babies?
■ Are you board certified? Do you have any specialties or special training?
■ How many partners do you have and how often are they on rotation?
■ What percent of your patients’ babies do you deliver? What are your backup arrangements if you can’t be there?
■ Where do you stand on the unmedicated-vs.-medicated debate?
■ What’s your philosophy about Cesareans, labor inductions, and episiotomies?
■ What’s your C-section rate, and how do you make the decision to proceed with the surgery?
■ Do you permit fathers to attend Cesarean sections? If so, where do they sit (up by the woman’s shoulders or down at the “business end”)?
■ What kind of fetal and maternal monitoring do you recommend? Require?
■ How do you feel about the mother lifting the baby out herself if she wishes?
■ How do you feel about the father assisting at the birth?
■ Do you routinely suction the baby or use forceps during delivery?
■ Do you usually hand the naked baby straight to the mother?
■ Do you allow the mother or father to cut the umbilical cord?
ESPECIALLY FOR MIDWIVES
■ Are you licensed or certified? By which organization?
■ How many babies have you delivered?
■ Which physicians and hospitals are you associated with?
■ How often does a physician get involved in the care of your patients?
■ What is the role of the physician in your practice?
■ What position do most of the women you work with adopt for the second stage of labor?
■ How do you make the decision to transfer the patient to a hospital or the care of a physician? How often does that happen?
FOR BOTH OB/GYNS AND MIDWIVES
■ Do you have an advice line we can call when we panic about something?
■ What are your rates and payment plans?
■ What insurance, if any, do you take?
■ What percent of your patients have an unmedicated birth? Medicated? C-section?
■ What’s your definition of “high risk”?
■ If labor starts when you’re not on call, will you come in anyway?
■ What and who (besides you, Dad) is allowed in the delivery room (friends, relatives, doulas, cameras, webcams, etc.)?
■ Are you willing to wait until the umbilical cord has stopped pulsating before you clamp it?
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was not at all comfortable. So they finally determined to kill their general, and then return to Peru. Valdivia discovered the conspiracy, and finally succeeded in quelling it.
About the same time, he obtained possession of a rich gold mine, in the valley of Quillota; and, by distributing the gold freely among his men, he found that they soon grew contented. But he discovered that he needed more soldiers, as the natives were far from being subdued; and he had constantly to keep a detachment of troops to guard the miners.
At length, Valdivia resolved to send, by land, two of his captains, Monroy and Miranda, with six companions, whose spurs, bits, and stirrups he directed to be made of gold, hoping thus to entice the Spaniards in Peru to come to his assistance.
These messengers were escorted by thirty horsemen, who were to accompany them to the borders of Chili. They reached Copiapo: here they were attacked by one hundred archers, commanded by Corteo, an officer of the Ulmen. The Spaniards were all slain, except the two captains, who, dreadfully wounded, were taken prisoners, and brought before the Ulmen.
That prince resolved to put them to death; but, at the solicitation of his wife, the Ulmena, he finally consented to spare them. She unbound them with her own hands, dressed their wounds, and treated them like brothers. When they were fully recovered, she desired them to teach her son the art of riding, as several of the horses had been taken alive in the defeat.
The two Spaniards readily consented to her request, hoping that they should find means to escape. This was natural; nor would it, perhaps, have been wrong, had they not committed a most horribly ungrateful crime to effect it. They were not strictly guarded, and frequently rode out with the young prince. One day, as this youth, the son of their benefactress, was riding between them, escorted by his archers, and preceded by his lance-bearer, Monroy suddenly attacked him with a poiniard he had concealed, and gave him several mortal wounds; while Miranda wrested the lance from the officer; and, in the confusion caused to the escort by seeing their
young prince bleeding on the ground, these two treacherous Spaniards easily escaped.
But this breach of faith was ultimately of great disadvantage to the Spaniards. That one unprovoked murder probably caused the death of hundreds; because the natives never, after the occurrence, seemed to have put any faith in the professions of the white men.
The succeeding year or two were spent by Valdivia in fighting, and founding cities. The natives were gradually losing strength and hope; many were slain in the wars, and some yielded to what seemed inevitable, and became the allies of the Spaniards.
Still, there was much for these invaders to endure. At one time, the Copiapians, to revenge the murder of their prince by Monroy, killed forty Spaniards; and, not satisfied with that vengeance, they persuaded the Coquimbanes to massacre all the inhabitants of a colony which had been founded in their territory, and to raze the city of Serena, which Valdivia had caused to be built, to its foundations.
In 1549, the city was rebuilt in a more advantageous situation: but every advantage had to be purchased at the point of the sword, and paid for by human blood.
After a contest of nine years, and almost incredible hardships, the Spanish power seemed established in that part of Chili which had, formerly, been under the dominion—or, rather, superintendence—of the Peruvian empire. Valdivia then proceeded to distribute the conquered lands among his officers, as had been done in the West Indies and Peru. Then he was ready to undertake the conquest of the remaining provinces of Chili.
He accordingly began his march, with a pretty large army of Spaniards and Indians, and proceeded 240 miles, to the bay of Penco, where, on the 5th of October, 1550, he founded a third city, called Conception.
He had now arrived in the vicinity of the Araucanians; and, before we proceed with the story of the war, I will give you some account of the character and manners of this brave, free, and, in many respects, wonderful people.
CHAPTER XI.
Chili continued.—Customs, manners, arts, character, religion, language, &c., of that nation of Chili called Araucanians.
T word auca signifies free; and the Araucanians pride themselves on their liberty and independence. They possess great strength of constitution, and enjoy their health and faculties till they are very old. They rarely begin to be gray before they are sixty or seventy, and are not bald or wrinkled till eighty.
Their complexion is of a reddish brown, but much clearer than that of any other Indians. One tribe, the Boroanes, which live on the mountains, have as fair complexions, red and white, as Europeans; but, in general, the Araucanians are well distinguished as “red men.” They have round faces, small, animated eyes, a rather flat nose, a handsome mouth, even and white teeth, and small feet and hands.
The men pluck out their beards, but the hair on their heads they permit to grow to a great length. It is coarse, and black, and they wind it in tresses around their heads, and on no account allow it to be cut. The women are delicately formed, and many of them, especially among the Boroanes, are very handsome.
Their moral qualities are superior to those of any other of the native nations of America. They are courteous, hospitable, faithful to their engagements, grateful for services rendered them, and, generally, generous and humane towards the vanquished. They are exceedingly brave and patriotic, and enthusiastic lovers of liberty.
These noble qualities are obscured by the vices inseparable from the half-savage state of life they lead, unrefined by literature, and unenlightened by the Christian religion. They are often guilty of drunkenness; they practise polygamy, and they are very proud of themselves, and entertain a haughty contempt for all other nations.
The men dress in the following manner: they wear a shirt, vest, and a pair of short, close breeches; and a cloak, called a poncho. It is an oblong piece of cloth, about three yards long and two wide, with
an opening in the middle for the head—and is a very commodious and useful garment.
Their clothes are made of wool, which they manufacture into cloth; and all the dress, except the poncho, is colored a greenish blue. This is the favorite color of the nation; but the poncho may be either white, red, or blue, with stripes a span broad, on which are wrought the figures of flowers and animals, in all manner of colors, and the border is ornamented with a handsome fringe.
The Araucanians wear on their heads a bandage of embroidered wool, in the form of the ancient diadem. They raise this, as a mark of courtesy, when saluting any one; when going to war, they ornament it with beautiful plumes. They also wear, around the body, a long woollen girdle, handsomely wrought. Persons of rank wear woollen boots, of various colors, and leather sandals; but the common people always go barefooted.
The dress of the women is very modest and simple. It consists of a tunic, a girdle, and a short cloak: the tunic descends to the feet; it has no sleeves, and is fastened on the shoulders by silver brooches. The color of the dress is always blue, and the fashion is never varied. But women seldom “forget their ornaments;” and these Araucanian ladies decorate their hair, which, divided into tresses, is allowed to float gracefully over their shoulders, with a profusion of false emeralds, and they wear necklaces of glass, and rings of silver on every finger, if they can obtain them.
They build their houses of a quadrangular form; the walls are made of wood, plastered with clay, and sometimes of brick; and the roof is covered with rushes. The size of the dwelling corresponds with the number of women a man can maintain, as each wife has her own fire-place. The interior of these houses is very simple, as they have no more furniture than is absolutely necessary. They live in scattered villages, each family on lands inherited from its ancestors —the right of private property being sacredly established They will not live in walled cities, because they think the walls are a mark of slavery.
They manufacture their cloth from the wool of the Chilihueque, or Araucanian camel. They make use of the spindle and distaff, and have two kinds of looms; the first is somewhat like our common loom. The women perform all the domestic manufacture, and are likewise expert at sewing. They had needles and looms when first discovered by the Spaniards; in short, all the arts I shall describe, existed among them then, in as great perfection as they do at the present day.
From the excellent clay of their country the men manufactured pots, plates, cups, and large jars to hold their fermented liquors. They baked their pottery in ovens, made in the declivity of hills; and they had the art of varnishing their ware. They also extracted gold, silver, copper, tin, and lead from the earth, purified it, and made a variety of curious and useful articles.
They had discovered the art of making salt upon the sea-shore; and, from the juice of plants and from mineral earths, they procured dyes of all colors for their clothes, and also knew how to fix the color, by means of a certain luminous stone. They used the bark of the tree guallai, as a substitute for soap, and obtained oil from the seeds of the madi.
They also manufactured baskets, mats, fishing-nets, ropes, and all their implements of labor and weapons of war. Their agricultural labors were considerable. They cultivated Indian corn, pulse of various kinds, potatoes, pumpkins, pepper, and large strawberries. They made use of spades, and a light plough, in tilling their grounds. They had domesticated the Chilihueque, an animal shaped like a camel, but having long hair, or rather, wool, which served for all purposes of making cloth. They had also hogs and domestic fowls in plenty.
Their government is like that of Venice—an aristocratic republic. They have three orders of nobility, the dignities of each hereditary in the male line; but these nobles, though they administer the laws, have no power to make laws, but are obliged to govern according to the customs and traditions of the people. The highest rank is the Toquis; next, Apo-Ulmenes; third, Ulmenes. But these chiefs have no
power of exacting contributions, or taxes, from the people; nor can they call upon them for their service, except in time of war.
The offences which are deemed deserving capital punishment, are, treachery, murder, adultery, the robbery of any valuable article, and witchcraft. Husbands and fathers are not subjected to any punishment for killing their wives and children, as they are declared to be the natural masters of their lives. In this particular, the odious wickedness of barbarous life is most strikingly displayed. No influence, save that of the Christian religion, can protect women and children from oppression; and yet there are women in Christian countries, who appear indifferent to, or wholly insensible of, the precious privileges which the Gospel of Peace has bestowed on them!
The ulmenes are judges in all cases between the people; in questions of national importance, the whole body of nobles meet together in grand council.
Whenever the grand council determines to go to war, they elect a commander-in-chief; and he is chosen for his fitness, without regard to rank. Sometimes they elect one from the common class, if there is no one among the nobles more distinguished for bravery.
The new general assumes the title of toqui, and a stone hatchet; and all nobles and people take an oath of obedience to his orders. He is, in fact, dictator; but yet his power is not quite supreme, for he cannot put any one to death without the consent of his officers.
Every Araucanian is born a soldier and a patriot—all are ready to fight for their country; so that there is no difficulty in raising an army, which usually consists of five or six thousand men. The toqui appoints his lieutenants; these appoint subordinates; and so on, till the army is organized.
The army is at present composed of infantry and horse. They formerly had only foot-soldiers; but, perceiving the great advantage which the Spaniards derived from their cavalry, the shrewd Araucanians set themselves to providing horses, and, in 1568—only seventeen years after their first opposing the Spanish arms—they
were able to furnish several squadrons; and, in 1585, they had their cavalry regularly organized.
The infantry is divided into regiments and companies; each regiment has 1000 men, and contains ten companies. The cavalry is divided in a like manner. They have all their particular standards, but each bears a star, the national device. The soldiers are not clothed in uniform, but all wear, beneath their usual dress, cuirasses of leather, hardened by a peculiar mode of dressing; and their shields and helmets are made of the same material.
The cavalry is armed with swords and lances; the infantry with pikes and clubs, pointed with iron. They formerly used bows and slings; but, when fighting with the Spaniards, they found these would not do; so, to avoid the effect of the musketry, they adopted pikes and clubs, and immediately closed in and fought hand to hand with the enemy.
They used fire-arms with great skill, whenever they took powder and muskets from the Spaniards; but, as soon as the powder was expended, they returned to their own way of fighting. They were, however, very anxious to learn the secret of making powder, and, it is reported, tried one very extraordinary experiment.
There happened to be a few negroes with the Spanish troops; these, the Araucanians thought, were the powder magazines; or, at least, that the Spaniards used them in making powder So, happening to take a poor black man prisoner, the Araucanians first covered him with stripes from head to foot, and then burned him to a coal, in order, by reducing it to powder, to obtain the so much wished for secret. But the cruel experiment failed!
The troops of this warlike nation are very vigilant, and always choose excellent positions. They are, moreover, acquainted with the art of constructing military works, and of protecting themselves with deep ditches, which they guard with branches of thorn.
When action becomes necessary, they separate the cavalry into two wings, and place the infantry in the centre; the files being arranged in such a manner that a pikeman and one who carries a
club always fight side by side. They are brave, indeed utterly fearless, in battle.
Though they know full well that the first ranks will be exposed to almost certain destruction, they eagerly contend with each other for these posts of honor. As soon as the first line is cut down, or swept away by the cannon, the second occupies its place, and then the third, pressing on, until they succeed in breaking the front ranks of the enemy. In the midst of their fury, they preserve the strictest order, and perform all the evolutions directed by their officers. The most terrible of these are their club-bearers, who, Hercules-like, destroy or beat down all before them.
The prisoners they take are usually made slaves, until they are exchanged or ransomed. They seldom put a prisoner to death.
The religious system of the Araucanians differs, in some respects, from that of other Indian nations. They acknowledge a Supreme Being, the author of all things, whom they call Pillan—a word derived from pulli, the soul, and signifies the supreme essence. This Supreme Being is the great Toqui of the invisible world, and has a number of subordinate spirits, to whom is entrusted the administration of affairs of less import. There is a god of war, a benevolent deity, and the guembu, a malignant being, the author of all evil. If a horse tires, the guembu has rode him; if the earth trembles, this evil spirit has given it a shock; and he suffocates all who die,—so think the Araucanians.
Then the people believe in genii, who have charge of all created things, and who, united with the benevolent meulor, are constantly at war with the power of the wicked guembu. These genii are of both sexes—the females are lares, or familiar spirits, and always watch over mankind. Every Araucanian thinks he has one in his service. They sometimes invoke these deities, and implore their aid on urgent occasions; but they have no temples of worship, nor idols of any description; nor do they offer any sacrifices, except in case of some great calamity, or on concluding a peace. At such times they sacrifice animals and burn tobacco.
They believe in the immortality of the soul. This consolatory truth is deeply rooted, and seems innate with them. They think the soul, when separated from the body, goes to a country west, beyond the sea: one part of this land is pleasant, and filled with everything delightful—it is the abode of the good; the other part—desolate and wretched—is the habitation of the wicked.
Missionaries are much respected, and well-treated among them, and have full liberty of preaching their tenets; but yet, very few of the natives have ever been converted to Christianity. Still, they would seem to be the most likely of any of the Indian nations, to become, by suitable instruction, rational and real Christians. Their mode of worship, or manner of thinking respecting religious subjects, is more pure and spiritual than that of any other heathen people; and if books, in their own beautiful language, could be furnished them, and schools could be established among them, and good men and women, teachers of righteousness, in example as well as precept, would devote themselves to the work of instruction, it seems as though this interesting nation might be soon raised to the high rank of a civilized and Protestant Christian republic.
The Araucanians divide time as we do, into years, seasons, months, days, and hours; but in a different method. They commence their solar year on the 22d of December, calling this solstice Thaumathipantu, the head and tail of the year; and they denominate June, Udanthipantu, the divider of the year, from its dividing it into two parts.
They divide the year into twelve months, of thirty days each, and add five intercalary days to make out the solar year. The months are named from the most remarkable things produced at the time: thus— January is called Avuncujer, the month of fruit; February, Cogi-cujer, the month of harvest—and so on. The natural day is divided into twelve parts, six being allotted to the day, and six to the night; so that the Araucanian hour is as long as two of ours.
In astronomy, they have made wonderful progress, considering that they have had no written signs, to perpetuate their observations. They have divided the stars into constellations, and named these
from the number of remarkable stars that compose them. Thus, the Pleiades are called Cajupal, the constellation of six; and the Antartic Cross, Meleritho, the constellation of four; because the first has six stars that are very apparent, and the last four.
They are well acquainted with the planets, and believe that these globes are so many earths, inhabited in the same manner as ours; for this reason they call the sky Guenu-mapu—the country of heaven; and the moon, Cuyen-mapu—the country of the moon. They believe comets to be exhalations or vapors from the earth, inflamed in the upper regions of the air; and never exhibit any fear at the sight of these, or of eclipses of the sun or moon. It is plain that they consider these as natural phenomena, but whether they know the course of eclipses or not, cannot be gathered from the imperfect knowledge we have of their language.
The Araucanians hold oratory in high estimation. The eldest son cannot succeed to the right of his birth, if he is deficient in this talent. So parents accustom their young sons, from childhood, to speak in public, and carry them to the national assemblies, where the best orators of the country display their eloquence.
They are as careful as ever were the Greeks, to speak their language correctly, and to preserve its purity They are so particular about introducing foreign words, that when a foreigner settles among them, they oblige him to relinquish his name, and take another in the Chilian language.
The speeches of their orators are in the Asiatic style, highly figurative, allegorical, and elevated. They abound with parables and apologues; and yet they are seldom deficient in all the essential parts required by the rules of rhetoric; they have a suitable exordium, a clear narrative, a well-founded argument, and a pathetic peroration.
Their poets are called gempin, signifying lords of speech. What a beautiful and expressive name! Unrestrained enthusiasm is the prime characteristic of their poetry. The principal subject of the songs is the exploits of their heroes, somewhat in the manner of Ossian. Their verses are composed mostly in stanzas of eight or eleven
syllables—a measure that appears most agreeable to the human ear. They are blank, but occasionally a rhyme is introduced, according to the taste of the poet.
The Araucanians have three kinds of physicians: the ampines, who employ only simples. These doctors are skilful in their knowledge of herbs, and understand pretty well the curing of most common diseases. Then there are the vileus, a class of doctors who believe that all contagious disorders proceed from insects: these are the regular physicians, and despise the poor herb-doctor as much as our own regular-bred M. D.’s do the quacks. The third class—machis —maintain that all serious disorders proceed from witchcraft, and pretend to cure by supernatural means; for which reason they are employed in desperate cases, when the exertions of the other doctors have failed. Sometimes the three kinds of physicians are called to hold a regular consultation—but they seldom agree.
Besides these professors of medicine, there are surgeons— gutorne—who remedy dislocations, and cure wounds and ulcers. And there is also a class who dissect bodies, in order to learn from the entrails if they are infected with poison; and in this way they obtain a tolerably correct notion of the human anatomy.
Before the arrival of the Spaniards, the Araucanians made use of bleeding, blistering, clysters, emetics, cathartics, and sudorifics—all which remedies have their peculiar names in their language. They let blood with the sharp point of a flint, fixed in a small stick; and they still prefer this instrument to a lancet. Almost all their medicines are obtained from vegetables.
The internal commerce—that is, the traffic among themselves—is entirely carried on by barter, and regulated by a kind of conventional tariff, according to which all commercial articles are appraised under the name of cullen, or payment, as was the custom in the time of Homer. Thus, a horse or bridle forms one payment; an ox, two—and so on.
Their external commerce is carried on, also, in the same way of barter; the Araucanians receive wine and European merchandise in
exchange for ponchos, or Indian cloaks, horned cattle, horses, ostrich feathers, curiously wrought baskets, and other trifles.
The Spaniard who engages in this trade, applies directly to the heads of families. If they tell him he may trade, he proceeds to their houses, and distributes, indiscriminately, his merchandise to all those who may present themselves. When he has completed his sale, he gives notice of his departure, and all the purchasers hasten to deliver to him, in the first village he arrives at, the articles agreed upon as payment; and never has there been known an instance of the least failure of punctuality. Would that those who bear the name of Christians, would always observe as good faith in their contracts as these Indians!
The pride of this people has been before noted. They are as proud of their valor and liberty as ever were the Romans. They believe themselves the only people in the world that deserve the name of men! This high opinion of themselves makes them hold every other nation in great contempt. They call the Spaniards by names which signify vile soldiers and assassins. The other Europeans they call moruche, or strangers. But to each other they are all benevolence; and their language seems formed to express their kindness. They have six or seven very expressive words in their language for the term friend. For their relations of the most distant degree, they have terms which express particular regard and good will. In consequence of this mutual affection, they are always ready to assist each other. Not a beggar or an indigent person is to be found throughout all the Araucanian territory; even the most infirm and incapable of assisting themselves, are decently clothed. What a lesson should this furnish to Christian nations!
Nor is the benevolence of the Araucanian confined to his own countrymen: he is hospitable towards all strangers, of whatever nation; and a traveller may live in any part of the country, without the least expense.
They are very eloquent in expressing their good will, and sometimes rather tiresome in their compliments. They are naturally fond of honorable distinction, and they will not endure to be treated
with the least contempt or neglect. If a Spaniard begins to speak to one of them with his hat on, the Indian immediately says—“Entugo tarmi curtesia”—take off your hat!
By attention and courtesy, anything may be obtained from them; and the favors they receive are always remembered; but ill-treatment exasperates them to such a degree, that nothing but revenge can appease them.
The Araucanians allow polygamy; a man may marry as many wives as he can purchase and maintain. This is the worst feature in their social policy, and seems almost the only obstacle which retards their civilization, or prevents them from becoming Christians. But even in these marriages, they show a higher sense of the natural laws of man, than the profligate Caribs did. The Araucanians, in their marriages, scrupulously avoid the more immediate degrees of relationship.
Their marriage ceremonies have very little formality, and consist in nothing more than carrying off the bride by pretended violence; and the bridegroom is obliged to give a variety of presents to the parents of the bride, and provide a grand entertainment for all the relations.
The first wife is always respected as the real and legitimate one; the others are called iardimo, or secondary wives. The first wife has also the authority of the mistress of the house; but the other wives are not always obedient, and the husband who has a number of these help-meets, has a deal of trouble to maintain harmony among them, though they generally treat him with great respect.
Celibacy is considered as ignominious. Old bachelors and old maids are called by names that signify old, idle, good for nothing.
Besides the usual female occupations of taking care of the house and children, spinning, weaving, and so on—that females in all countries perform—the women are not obliged to do much of the labor of living. But they pay the greatest attention to the cleanliness of their houses, sweeping them and the courts several times in the course of the day. Whenever they make use of any utensil, they immediately wash it.
The same attention to cleanliness is paid to their persons; they comb their hair twice a day, and once a week wash it with the soap made from the bark of the quillai; which keeps the hair very clean. There is seldom to be seen on their clothes the least spot of dirt.
The men are likewise equally fond of being neat and clean. In warm weather they bathe themselves several times a day, and it is rare, even in winter, that they do not bathe at least once a day.
Children are very kindly treated, and rarely, if ever, punished—the Araucanians holding it as an established truth, that chastisement only renders men base and cowardly
The usual diet of this people is very simple. They are fond of Indian corn, and potatoes: of the last they have cultivated more than thirty different kinds, from time immemorial. Although they have both large and small animals, and birds in plenty, yet they eat but little flesh, and that is simply boiled or roasted. They rarely eat pork, though they know how to prepare black puddings and sausages; nor do they make much use of fish. They prefer bread and vegetables, especially potatoes, roasted, with a little salt.
Their usual drinks consist of various kinds of beer, and of cider, made from Indian corn, apples, and other fruits. They are extremely fond of wine, which they purchase from the Spaniards; but they have never taken any pains to cultivate the vine, which might be easily raised in the country
The master of the house eats at the same table with his wives and children. The plates are earthen; the spoons and cups are made of horn and wood. The ulmenes, or nobles, have, in general, wrought plate for the service of their tables; but they only make use of it when they entertain some stranger of rank—then they make all the show possible, as they like to be considered rich. In summer, they are fond of dining in the shade of trees, which for this purpose are always planted round the house. Besides dinner, supper, and breakfast, they have, every day, their luncheon, which consists of a little flour of parched corn, steeped in hot water in the morning, and in cold in the evening.
Such is their common mode of living; but, on the occasions of funerals, marriages, or any other important event, they make great entertainments. Sometimes, three hundred persons are present, and the feasting continues two or three days. These are called cahuin, or circles, because the company seat themselves in a circle around a large branch of cinnamon wood.
They have also a custom, somewhat similar to our New England raisings, huskings, and quiltings. When there is any work which requires the combined aid of several persons—such as threshing their grain, building a house, &c.—the Araucanians, or all who wish to partake of the feast, assemble, and work until the labor is completed. But they generally come in sufficient numbers to finish the job in a few hours, and then devote the remainder of the day to amusement.
Music, dancing and play, form their customary diversions. Their musical instruments are very rude, their voices rather harsh, and the manner of singing not very agreeable to a stranger. But their dances, of which they have several, are lively and pleasing. The men and women sometimes dance together, but oftener apart.
Their games are very numerous, and, for the most part, very ingenious; they are divided into sedentary and gymnastic. It is a curious fact, and worthy of note, that they have the game of chess, which they call comican, and which has been known to them from time immemorial. They have also a game, quechu, which is almost similar to our backgammon.
The youth exercise themselves frequently in wrestling and running, and playing ball, which they like exceedingly. But the penco is a favorite game, because it has some resemblance to the siege of a fortress—and they delight in war.
The penco is thus played. Twelve or more persons join hands, and form a circle, in the centre of which stands a little boy. Their adversaries, who are equal in number, and sometimes superior, endeavor by force or stratagem to break the circle, and obtain the boy, in which the victory consists. But this is no easy matter. The defenders make almost incredible efforts to keep themselves closely
united, and the besiegers are often compelled, by weariness, to relinquish the attempt; and then the defenders shout for their victory.
The aboriginal inhabitants of Chili, from the ocean to the Andes, from Peru to Magellan, all speak the same language. It is a regular, harmonious, and rich language, and so elegant, expressive, and copious, that Europeans who have studied it, think the Chilians must, in former times, have possessed a much greater degree of civilization than at present; because mere savages could never have formed a dialect so perfect.
It differs from every other American language, not less in its words than in its construction. It is so copious, that a complete dictionary of it would require more than one large volume; and in sweetness and variety it greatly excels the other Indian dialects.
The Araucanians are very particular to teach their children to speak with propriety and elegance; and it is probably this care which has preserved the language so pure. They will not converse in Spanish, though they easily learn that language, or, indeed, any other; but they scrupulously adhere to their own tongue,—and it is through this medium that, if ever they embrace Christianity, they must be taught. It seems, from many circumstances, as though this people were peculiarly prepared to become Protestant Christians, whenever they can be instructed in the arts of reading and writing, and furnished with the Word of God.
Such are the character and manners of the Araucanians of the present day: most of the customs we have described are original, though a few of them have been derived from the Spaniards.
A Long Nap.
D you ever see a bear? A bear is a creature as large as a small cow.—Some bears are black, some white, and some brown.
Bears live far away in the woods and mountains. They do not get together, as people do, and build houses: not they!
Every bear looks out for some hole in a tree, or cave in a rock, and there he makes his bed. If he can get enough to eat, he cares for nobody else.
When winter comes, bears of some kinds grow sleepy, and, crawling into a hole, or lying down beneath the shelter of thick trees, they shut their eyes and go to sleep. Like the little striped squirrel, and wood-chucks, and toads and lizards, they thus sleep till spring.
Lord Bacon.
T word bacon is usually applied to a piece of smoked pork, and sometimes means nothing more than ham. But, in the present case, it is applied to one of the greatest and most useful men that ever lived,—and this may show that the same word may signify very different things.
Now, this Lord Bacon—whose Christian name was Francis—as I have said, was a great and useful man; but what did he do? He was no warrior, and never fought a battle; he was no king, and never wore a crown; he was no giant, and never performed any great feat of bodily strength: but he did more for the good of mankind than any giant, king, or warrior. He taught the world how to think, how to reason, how to find out truth!
He was born in London, in the year 1561. He was bred a lawyer, and held office under Elizabeth, then queen of England. But, after a time, he offended the queen, and his hopes of high preferment were disappointed. After queen Elizabeth died, and James I. came to the throne, he was made a judge, and held several important stations, and at last was honored with the title of Viscount St. Albans—which meant that he was one of the nobles of the land; or, in other words, that he was to be called a lord.
But the offices and honors he enjoyed, were not the foundation of Bacon’s claims to the respect and gratitude of mankind. You must remember that he lived almost three hundred years ago; and then the people, even those who were learned, held many absurd opinions, and, what was the worst of all, they had false and foolish modes of reasoning. Thus it often happened, that even the learning and philosophy of those days rather led to error than to truth.
Now, Bacon applied himself to the teaching of better modes of thinking and reasoning. Instead of bewildering the mind with theories
and fancies, he taught the world to study into facts; to gather stores of knowledge; and to make this knowledge the starting-point—the foundation of their philosophy. He taught this great and simple truth, and the result of it has been, that mankind, since his time, have discarded many absurd errors, and gone on making new and wonderful discoveries. Many of the great inventions, and much of the science and knowledge now current among mankind, are the result of Bacon’s wise and useful lessons.
This great man died in 1626; and though he did so much for the world, he can hardly be said to have led a happy life. He was once imprisoned in the Tower of London—a dreary old castle—fined 200,000 dollars, turned out of parliament, and declared unworthy of serving his country! Perhaps he did something wrong, though the general opinion is, that he suffered this on account of unjust accusations. He was liberated from the tower, and the fine was remitted by the king; but from this period, he lived in privacy, devoting himself to the writing of books. They are now held in great estimation, for their stores of wisdom.
