SIMON ARCHER
CONTENTS
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Author’s Note
EVEN FROM A FEW blocks away on the Meg-Lev, I could hear the rapturous cheers of the thousands of people that were already finding their seats at the brand new Colosseum in the Upper End of Kellade. As the new, sleek building came into view, glowing in the night sky and floating above the ground over what used to be the ruins of the old Colosseum, the excitement on the high-speed train grew, and some people even let out little cheers.
“It looks awesome, doesn’t it?” Mason beamed at the shimmering building.
The outside of the multi-level, floating building was a dark, gunmetal gray with rows of flashing blue, purple, and pink neon lights and large, curved screens covering the outside. Images and videos of the top heroes flashed across the TVs, highlighting each person’s powerful Aspect along with advertisements for various things heroes sponsored as well as an ad for the hero rankings, which was the yearly event that I was on my way to now.
Mason Salas, The Bird Hero Avian, sat next to me on the MegLev bench chair. He was my best friend because we had grown up next door to each other, and ever since we had met when he had saved me from some bullies who were bent on making fun of me for being a kid without an Aspect, we had been partners in crime.
Actually, crime was the last thing on our minds because our ultimate goal had always been to become heroes, and now here we
were, riding to the hero rankings to cheer on our friends and mentors with our own hero licenses and several hero missions under our belt including trying to stop the crazed cultist from destroying our city and entire region only three months ago.
At the ripe old age of twenty-two, I finally received my Aspect, shocking everyone, especially because my Aspect was actually pretty powerful. I called it Level Up, and it basically turned me into a character from an RPG video game. I could do Quests to level up and gain experience that I could distribute to my different Stats,and I could access everything I needed, including an Inventory from a HUD-like interface that my Aspect gave me. It was the kind of Aspect that I was still discovering new things about because of its extreme versatility, but it had served me very well so far.
We had also been there when the elusive group, The Rising Sun, had ripped the old Colosseum out of the sky, and we had been there to stop them from launching their own attack on the hero school at Ascension Island and the World Council building in the Bermuda Triangle. Between the Rising Sun attacks and the several villain attacks that had ripped through our region due to the crazy cult leader, Nirvana, life had been a little more than crazy the past year, and as much I hated the chaos and destruction, I couldn’t deny I was getting all kinds of crazy hero experience.
I had also helped capture many high-ranking villains, including my very own father, The Grim Reaper, only months after I had first received my Aspect at the age of twenty-two, and the following year I had taken part in the German Incident and helped uncover a criminal hideout, but I couldn’t take all the credit for it. I always had Mason by my side and considered myself the luckiest man in the world because some of the most amazing and skillful women I had ever met surrounded me.
I smiled at my girlfriends, who sat in nearby seats on the MegLev. My first ever girlfriend, Mindy Minton, or the hero Color Spectrum, happily chatted away. Her white-blonde hair hung down past her shoulders and had purple highlights on the left side and pink highlights on the right with blue tips in the back. She wore a
purple, loose-fitting sweater and blue skinny jeans tucked into black boots.
Mindy had been my friend, well, more of a co-worker acquaintance that I lacked the guts to ask her out on a date for a while before that because we both came from Kellade’s Lower End. Both of us had been unfortunate enough to work at the Tyrannical Taco, although that meant that Mindy had been there the day I had punched Ice-Erator in the jaw and finally received my Aspect twenty years late. Still, Mindy never cared that I didn’t have an Aspect, and she was happy for me when I finally got mine.
Her Aspect was a unique one. Not only could she change her eye color at will, but she could cry colored tears. Her Aspect was also unique in that she had also discovered some new things about it in the past few years. Not that long after I had received my Aspect only five years ago, Mindy had discovered that she could filter her tears into her palms and created different colored bubbles depending on her mood, and what’s more, she could trap things within her bubbles.
During our second year of hero school at Ascension, which would end up being our last year before our early graduation and hero licensure, Mindy discovered another new ability. Ever since I had first met her on my first day of working at Tyrannical Taco, I had thought she was only one of the most gorgeous girls I had ever laid my eyes on with her kaleidoscope eyes. She had blonde hair with pink, blue, and purple tips, colors that appeared the day she received her colorful Aspect when she was two years old.
Most people, including Mindy herself, had believed that the colors were simply an aesthetic part of her Aspect, but she had discovered that she could actually drain the pink and purple from her hair, and the colors formed into two pink and purple fighting rods.
Mindy giggled and lovingly stroked the hair of our girlfriend Sasha Pretiosa, an elegant, beautiful, black-haired woman from the Upper End of Kellade. Our fates had crossed when my mother gave me an item that she had brought to life with her Golden Touch Aspect, which allowed her to breathe life into inanimate objects for a portion of her own lifeforce. For years she had used her Aspect to
support us, and although I didn’t like it, I sometimes helped her deliver her creations.
Well, I just so happened to deliver a small metal dog to the ritzy Pretiosa house in the Upper End and just about had my breath taken away when Sasha answered the door. She was simply stunning and beyond cute, with fuzzy black cat ears on top of her head and a fluffy black tail that twitched behind her. Her animal Aspect gave her these attributes and allowed her to speak with animals, so naturally, she was very passionate about all living things.
I had always thought that her Aspect was amazing, but her posh, pretentious family didn’t quite feel the same way and kept her pretty sheltered. Her father was downright abusive, making me hate him the instant I met him, but Sasha was one of the strongest, most capable women I had ever met. So, she successfully stepped out from under her oppressive father’s shadow and opened up her own animal shelter, where she used her Aspect to help connect animals to the right families.
Even though it was an amazing, worthwhile, and legitimate charity that Sasha had started all on her own, her family didn’t approve, so they disowned her. My mother, being the compassionate woman that she was, offered to let Sasha stay at our house, and she had lived with me ever since. Now she was the accomplished young hero, Dark Lynx.
As the Meg-Lev neared the Colosseum station, the exciting tension in the car elevated. Everyone was trembling with anticipation, ready to see the new Colosseum and put all the horrors of the past year behind us. The newly constructed Colosseum wasn’t only a testament to everyone’s resiliency, but it was a declaration that we would move on and become stronger than ever. It was a celebration of our heroes and our society, essentially, and we had a lot to celebrate.
Thanks to people like my mother, who had started a charity and opened a few shelters in the Lower End of Kellade and DracSun, and had very promising prospects in both SunDoon and NordGun, our cities were changing from the inside. Mom had genuinely great people working with her in the Lower Ends and had garnered tons of
support, even from the normally apathetic aristocracy of the Upper Ends, simply because of her connections to heroes. Most notable among those was her hero husband, Drew Candescent, more widely known as the number one hero, Ultimatum.
A twang of bittersweet sentiment passed through me as I thought about my stepfather as the Meg-Lev pulled into the station with a slight screeching stop. Mason tugged at my arm, beckoning me to hurry because he couldn’t contain his excitement any longer. I chuckled and let him drag me out of the train car and into the chilly autumn day.
I hustled after him and his own girlfriend, Alexandria Ouray. She wasn’t a hero with us, but her infrared Aspect gave her red eyes and let her see things in the normally undetectable infrared spectrum. We had met her at one of my mother’s charity galas, and Dria had basically become like my mother’s number two and helped at the shelters almost daily.
Sasha, dressed in black leggings and a cute red and white polkadot dress underneath her white cardigan that staved off the chill air just enough, hurried along with Mason and Dria while Mindy had her arms latched around me on one side and my other girlfriend, Lotus Himitsu had her hand in mine on the other side. We had met Lotus our first year at Ascension because the Kitsune Hero, Zenko, had come all the way from the city island of Japan to hero school because her family was a lot like Sasha’s and expected the very best from their daughter.
Lotus’s family had basically bred her to be super powerful, and she was. Her Aspect, Zenko Kitsune, allowed her to transform into a nine-tailed fox, take anyone’s form, and create illusions. Because her strict, honor-bound family had decided that Lotus’s fate was to become the world’s best hero, she was also trained in several martial arts and deadly fighting styles that she used with ease.
When I first met Lotus, she had been a cold, closed-off woman that wanted nothing to do with me or my girls, but now Lotus was another amazing member of my family. Nothing made me happier than seeing her laugh and smile with everyone as we made our way
to the Colosseum where the elevators would take us up into the floating building.
“Dude, I didn’t think the old Colosseum could look any cooler, but this looks epic!” Mason grinned as we navigated through the bustling crowds of friends and families just as eager to get to the rankings as we were.
“This year’s going to be interesting,” Lotus chimed in, her hand still gripped tightly in mine. She had styled her shimmering black hair in a medium bob that draped nicely around her muscular shoulders, covered by her asymmetrically cut hoodie. Her amber eyes glowed brightly as she glanced up and grinned at me.
“Yeah, it is,” I chuckled. “The whole world was turned upside down and back to right side up.”
“Only we lost a lot in the process,” Sasha added, noting the somber tone that still existed in the air and especially among our group. We had accomplished a lot, but it hadn’t been without sacrifices, and we all felt some of those even during the celebrations of what he had rebuilt.
We reached the line for the elevators. It actually moved pretty fast as the multiple high-tech and neon glowing lifts carried groups up and into the Colosseum. The hyper-active Mindy had joined Dria, Sasha, and Mason ahead of Lotus and me, and Mindy and Mason were both nearly bouncing on either side of poor Dria and Sasha. The pair was caught between the two shouting chants and cheers back and forth to each other. Each of the top-tier heroes always had little ditties that went along with their names, and Mason and Mindy were screaming them all at the top of their lungs.
Lotus and I followed our rowdy group into a glass elevator, and as soon as we piled in, the glass fogged up so we couldn’t see out. A neon green glow illuminated the elevator, and the walls began to crawl with spindly vines. The strong, sexy figure of the Earth Hero, Sliver, materialized on the wall in front of us.
I knew her better as Allison Malt, my extraordinarily talented and attractive girlfriend. I had known who she was for many years since she had been one of the top five ranked heroes for a while now, but I had met the gorgeous woman soon after finally receiving my
Aspect. Mindy had told me about a gym that operated between the Upper and Lower Ends of Kellade, and it just so happened that Allison ran the gym.
She ended up becoming somewhat of a mentor to me as I learned to use my new abilities and tackle the DailyQueststhat my Aspect gave me. I learned the hard way that if I didn’t complete the quests, my Aspect would throw me into a grueling mission called a Disciplinary Measure, and those were not fun at all. Thanks to the help of Allison, I became a hell of a lot stronger.
She was already somewhere in the Colosseum with the other ranked heroes, awaiting the start of the event, just like my mother, who had come early with her and Drew. Lotus was definitely right about this being an interesting year. Not only had Nirvana, the cultists, and villains torn up our whole region, Ultimatum, the number one hero in the entire world, had lost his Aspect.
Although we had cleaned up our cities and even made headway in dealing with some of the issues in our societies, the whole world was still reeling from what had happened to Ultimatum. I don’t even think many people had considered that retirement was on his mind, and that would have been hard enough for everyone to deal with, including myself, but the fact that one of the strongest heroes ever to have existed literally had his Aspect wrenched out of him and destroyed.
The very reason that everyone had to register at the age of two with the Aspect Police Control Center, or APCC was to prevent occurrences like that where people with powerful Aspects run around unchecked. That’s what happened with Ander Feng-Sifu, who had the ability to take people’s Aspects and turn them material.
He had bestowed his gift upon a young Nirvana who had unfortunately grown up with some insane ideas swirling around in his head and had tried to enslave everyone in the region and add them into his cult. We had fought and defeated him, and Drew had paid the ultimate price.
The thing that really got me, though, was that he didn’t seem to even mind. He was just happy because he did his hero duty and kept everyone safe. There was no sense of shame or sadness within
him. He carried himself like the same heroic man I had always looked up to, even before he was my stepfather.
The glowing green Sliver lift slowed to a halt, and the image of the hero and her vines melted away as the glass unfogged and the doors slid open to reveal the center tier of the five-ring floating building. The middle level held the Colosseum entrances as well as various vendor stands selling food, drinks, and all manner of hero merchandise from t-shirts, to body pillows, to autographed photos.
The top two levels were also for vendors, but more so for the Inventors to show off their newest inventions and all the latest technologies for heroes and hero hopefuls. The bottom two tiers were used either interchangeably for all kinds of events, ceremonies, and Inventors’ tests, and like today, both levels were being used for the massive rankings ceremony that had drawn in the largest crowd in the history of the rankings.
All six of us made our way down through the next level, transformed through the Colosseum’s state-of-the-art smart technology into rows and rows of stadium seating for the hundreds of thousands of attendees. Mason led us through the maze of seats and people to the designated seats on our tickets, row K, seats sixteen through twenty-three. There were the two people we were supposed to meet, chatting with each other.
The first was Cassandra Princep, principal of Ascension, and my elegant girlfriend. Her smile lit up the whole Colosseum when she turned and saw me. She stood up and shifted her blonde hair over her shoulder so that it tumbled down her back softly. Cassandra’s stunning, violet eyes locked on mine, and I felt her magnetic personality drawing to her.
“Hey, handsome,” she smiled before giving me a sensual kiss that sent sparks through me.
The first time I had met Cassandra, I was instantly attracted to her even though she was my principal, but there was no doubt that there was a lot to love about her. Before she had taken up the noble task of running a hero school, and doing a damn good job of it, she was The Underground Hero, Multiply, and her Aspect allowed her to create several clones of herself.
Nowadays, she used her Aspect more for training and teaching students, but was continuously still helping heroes with missions. Just like Ultimatum, Sliver, and all the best heroes, it was just a part of her D.N.A. to help people when needed, and just one of the many reasons I admired her so much.
“Did you get here, okay?” I asked as I felt her slender body press into mine as we embraced.
“I did.” She released me and turned and greeted our other girlfriends. I took a moment to eye her because she was wearing a fashionable red jumpsuit with black heeled boots. She looked amazing.
“Hi, Sam,” the other person who Cassandra had been chatting with smiled cutely at me with a little bob as she stood up from her seat.
“Hello, Heather.” I grinned at the red-headed, green-eyed woman in front of me. She wore a yellow peacoat and blue jeans with brown boots. As she leaned in to hug me, I noted how full the Love Meter was over her head, which was my Aspect’s way of showing me women to pursue. Sometimes it even gave me dialogue bubbles that I could choose from, including a Flirtoption.
Cassandra was my only girlfriend who still had a LoveMeterover her head, which was pretty full. The rest of my girls all had different colored hearts floating around their heads along with her Health Meters, and that meant that I had bonded with them. I also had little beating hearts with each of their names and their health meters displayed in my HUD.
The Colosseum lights flickered, letting everyone know the rankings were about to start, but before I could take my seat, I felt someone tugging at my arm. I assumed it was one of my girls, so it surprised me to see my mother, Katy Candescent, standing there.
“Mom? What are you doing here?” I laughed in surprise.
“I need you, Mason, Sasha, Mindy, and Lotus to come with me. Quick!” She was definitely in an excited hurry, but she had a smirk on her face, so I really had no idea what was going on. “We need to get you prepared for the rankings!”
“What?” Mason shrieked. “We’re not in the rankings.”
“Have you forgotten?” My mom asked mischievously. “This is the Hero Reveals and Rankings. We’re about to reveal you guys to the world.”
And with that, she pulled us off toward the Hero’s Hall.
“HOLY SHIT, THIS IS SO COOL, ” Mason laughed in disbelief as we hurried after my mother through the crowds.
People were hurrying to take their seats with their snacks, drinks, and merch clutched in their hands. We pushed our way through toward the Hero’s Hall, a building dedicated to all of our esteemed heroes. Mainly, the administrators used it as a waiting room for the heroes involved in the rankings and reveals, but they often used it for various things during other events as well.
We rode the small grav lift down to the lowest level of the Colosseum that was being used for more seating and for the actual stage of the event. The Hero’s Hall was located at the far northern end of the tier, and as soon as we entered, Allison and Drew shoved our hero suits into our arms.
“Surprise!” Allison giggled as she watched all of our bewildered faces move past as she hurried us into a room to change.
“You guys are up first,” Drew called in after us.
“Why didn’t you let us know?” I asked as I pulled on my black skin-tight suit.
“Well, the reveals usually only happen every four years after the Ascension graduation, but we decided you guys should get your own special reveal. With that in mind, we had Anthony and Drew pull a few strings with our pal, Zukka, and we got this special reveal just for you guys,” Allison explained proudly, dressed in her brown Sliver
suit with her green skin and silver hair with colorful flowers blooming in it making her look like an earth goddess.
“Surprise,” Drew reiterated, throwing his large hands up over his salt and pepper head of hair that matched his beard.
“This is really great, you guys.” Sasha bumped into me as she stalked by in her dark blue hero suit that attached around her neck and hugged tightly down her body, ending in shorts matched with black boots. The bump was her way of telling me to check myself.
“Oh, yeah, of course, it’s great,” I stammered as I sheepishly grinned at Drew and Allison. “This really is great. I’m just so surprised. I didn’t plan to be standing out in front of hundreds of thousands of people today.”
Drew let out a loud, bellowing laugh. “This kid.” He chuckled as he pointed at me. “All the things we’ve been through, and he gets nervous in front of a little crowd.” Drew wrapped his giant arm around my head in a firm, yet loving way. He squeezed me tight. “You know I’m very proud of you, son.”
“I know.” I patted the big man’s arm that was locked around me. “I’m proud of you, too.”
He released me from his grasp and spun me around to face him, planting both of his hands on my shoulders. “Thanks, Sam. Now let’s get this show started.”
He slapped me on the back, and brushed past everyone and out into the center of the stadium along with Zukka Chamberlain, the head of the World Government Council, and someone that I was beginning to respect quite a bit, and it wasn’t just the fact that he didn’t seem to be running a villain organization in secret like Joax Mans Ferdinao, the previous council head had done.
Zukka was an intelligent and compassionate man whose Aspect allowed him to create tangible illusions, but in the last few months that he had led the council to make several decisions that would start the process of healing for our segregated cities. The lines and divisions were slowly disappearing, but we still had a long way to go.
Anthony Lukras was also among the initial welcoming party for rankings. He was the head of the APCC, a very decent man, and my friend. His Aspect was a unique one that allowed him to assess
someone’s level of danger with a meter in his chest. It was all thanks to his meter that the APCC finally started to believe me that I really had received my Aspect twenty years late and that I hadn’t been living as an unregistered person with an Aspect which was very illegal.
The three men stepped into a black, metal disc with purple neon lights around it. As soon as they were all in, the disc lifted off the ground and propelled the men into the air in the center of the Colosseum.
“Thank you all for coming to this year’s Hero Reveals and Rankings!” His voice boomed out around the Colosseum thanks to more smart technology that amplified his voice without needing to use a microphone. The crowd went wild with cheers.
“This year has been rough,” Anthony continued, and his words were even more poignant because he stood next to Drew. “But we have bounced back because we came together to do what we needed to do.”
Applause washed through the Colosseum for a good minute while everyone stood and wrapped their arms around each other in a huge show of camaraderie.
“We have every reason to celebrate!” Zukka picked up after the cheers had died down. “And that’s what today is all about. It’s about celebrating our accomplishments and lifting up some of our most talented and selfless heroes, but first, we have something special for everyone!”
“Usually, we do the reveals only every four years after the newly graduated heroes leave Ascension, but as you are all aware,” Drew stated with as much poise as he always did, “we had some early graduates.”
The crowd cheered as Drew, Anthony, and Zukka waved us out. Mason, Sasha, Lotus, Mindy, and I, dressed in our hero suits, sauntered out into the center of the Colosseum. There were more platforms waiting for each of us. As we all stepped on them, they carried us up into the air, except Mason. Being the person that he was, he opened his shining silver wings and took off into the air, zipping and flying around all of us.
“Show off,” I smirked at him as he came to a hovering stop next to me, and he just grinned back.
“Well, after that impressive display of his Aspect, the first new hero I’d like to introduce to you is Avian, The Bird Hero!” Drew announced to cheers.
Mason took off in another impressive display of his fancy flying skills and then came back to hover near me again.
“The next hero is the mysterious, Dark Lynx, The Animal Hero!” Anthony gestured toward Sasha. She did look rather alluring in her suit with her fluffy tail curled up behind her, cat ears twitching on the top of her head, as she naturally smiled and waved at the massive crowd who all cheered for her.
“The next new hero is the powerful Zenko, The Kitsune Hero!” Zukka announced.
Lotus gave a nice display of their Aspect as she conjured images of neon butterflies that she sent around the Colosseum as she transformed into a golden, shimmering nine-tailed fox. She leapt up above her floating disc, and as she landed, she spun around and transformed back into her human form.
“Wow! Amazing!” Anthony exclaimed. “And the next hero we have to reveal is the bright and bubbly Rainbow Hero, Color Spectrum!”
Mindy smiled cutely and shot out several pink bubbles that enveloped some of Lotus’s remaining butterflies as the crowd went wild.
“And last, but certainly not least,” Drew gave me a knowing look, “let me introduce a crowd favorite, Player One, The Video Game Hero!”
The Colosseum burst into a huge roar of cheers and applause as I stood in awe of just how many people not only knew who I was, but were actually cheering for me just like they would Sliver or Ultimatum. It was a powerful feeling to have gone from my preAspect life where my mother was killing herself just to survive to where we were now.
“Sam.” I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Mason. “Do something cool.”
“Oh…” I reached into my Inventory and pulled out both the SwordoftheLost,a one-handed, grade B melee weapon. I flung it into the air as I also grabbed my Dagger of the Fallen, a grade S weapon that was one of my favorites.
To everyone in the Colosseum, it looked like they had just materialized two weapons out of thin air, which was essentially what I did. Everyone cheered a little louder than before, and as best as he could over the din of the people, Drew shouted.
“Let’s hear it for all our newest heroes!”
We had another long few minutes of applause, and another standing ovation before our platforms lowered to the ground, and Mason followed. When they landed, we made our way back to the Hero’s Hall as Drew, Zukka, and Anthony continued the event.
“Alright, now that we’ve welcomed those new heroes the proper way, it’s time to get on to the main event!” Drew shouted.
As Mason, Sasha, Lotus, Mindy, and I all changed back into our civilian clothes, Drew, Zukka, and Anthony counted down the top fifteen heroes. I caught a few names like Cotton, McQueen, Unicorn, and Dark Matter as we said a quick goodbye to Allison and my mother, then made our way back to our seats where Cassandra and Heather were.
“And here it is, folks, the moment we’ve all been waiting for,” Anthony bellowed in his best announcer voice, which was actually pretty good. “Let’s find out who the top five heroes are!”
“Coming in at number five is The Weather Hero, Storm Rager!”
As Zukka declared the hero, the dark night sky swirled with clouds, and a single blue bolt of lightning streaked down through the Colosseum. Storm Rager came zooming up straight into the bolt, and his body charged up with glowing electricity.
“The hero in the number four slot is none other than the Bittersweet Hero, Sourpatch!” Drew boomed.
The green-haired hero appeared in the air next to Drew using some kind of technology, probably from one of the inventors, because as far as I knew, Sourpatch’s Aspect didn’t give him the ability to fly, but it did make it so that when anyone so much as touched the hero, bitterness would overwhelm their senses.
“Rank number three,” Anthony shouted, “is The Tentacle Hero, Chtulhu!”
He floated up on a platform and waved several of his tentacles at the crowd. Mason let out a loud yell. He had always loved Cthulhu, but now since he was Mason’s hero mentor, Mason loved him even more.
“Moving in the number two spot is The Homegrown Hero, Lassie!” Zukka cheered.
She appeared in the air on a platform wearing her customary cowgirl hero outfit. She wore bootcut jeans with brown cowgirl boots, a tight, white button shirt tied around her torso exposing her midriff, and a brown cowgirl hat perched on top of her head of red, bobbing curls.
She flung her lasso around her head, and as she dropped into a pose, I studied the Love Meter over her head. I had been a little surprised the day it appeared, but Lassie was a spunky, beautiful woman that I had gotten to know and become close with on a personal level, even though she had once been one of my teachers at Ascension.
Lassie was most definitely someone I could say I admired. During one of our classes, she had accidentally revealed her civilian name, Lea Sandra, to the class and had soon after accidentally transformed into her true Aspect. She had the ability to turn into a centaur, but after having leg surgery as a child, the transformation had become too painful for her, so she learned to fight and become one of the top five ranked heroes without using her Aspect, which was impressive. Both Sasha and Lotus would get a lot of quality time with her because they decided to intern with her hero agency, Kickin’ Cowgirls.
When all the shouts for Lassie had faded, Drew cleared his throat. “It is my honor, as the former number one hero, to announce to you all that The Earth Hero, Sliver, is the well-deserved, new, top hero in the world!”
In an impressive display of just how powerful her Aspect really was, Allison commanded flowered vines to grow all around the Colosseum, and she let two huge vines lift her up into the middle of
the open space next to the other heroes. She let her vines carry her around the platform that Drew, Anthony, and Zukka were on and shuffled sideways as she gracefully stepped onto the platform next to Drew and gave him a hug.
“On that note,” Sliver called out into the Colosseum, “Drew and I have some big news.”
Now that he didn’t have his Aspect, he was happy to go by Drew instead of Ultimatum. Even though I knew him as both very well, it was still weird for me to use his civilian name, but that was just another thing the world was going to have to adjust to.
“Because of Drew’s retirement, I have agreed to help take over his hero agency, but in order to better run it, his agency will merge with my gym. Alongside that merger, we are also announcing the start of an all-new charity, Power Up!, an agency that will work alongside Katy Candescent’s shelters to transform our cities from the inside out.” Allison spoke with so much passion that I could feel just how thrilled she was even from so far away, but I also knew her and her passions.
“Let’s also not forget that Sliver will also hold a newly created seat on the council that will help to address the issues of citizens, notably Lower End citizens, even more,” Zukka informed the crowd.
“And before we finish here today,” Anthony began with a hint of seriousness in his voice, “can we please just hear it for absolutely everything that this man, Drew Candescent, Ultimatum, has done for us over the years?”
I could tell that Drew was visibly moved as he alone received yet another standing ovation and the longest, loudest cheer of the evening. All of our hearts really went out to him, because he had always embodied the true meaning of hero and was the perfect example of what heroes had sworn to do. He was truly a living legend. The world would forever be grateful for all that he did and for the fact that even without his Aspect, he still planned to do what he could, even in retirement.
Once the rankings wrapped up, we made our way back through the crowds of happy, mingling people who were making their own way to the elevators that would take us out of the Colosseum or who
still wanted to peruse the merchandise and inventions, and we rode the Meg-Lev the short distance to the stop near my mother and Drew’s house in the Upper End of Kellade.
MY GROUP OF EIGHT, now that Heather and Cassandra joined us, arrived at the house first. Most of the other people that had been invited to this little afterparty were probably still at the Colosseum, either having taken part in the event or trying to make their way out of the crowds.
When we reached the impressive floating tower house that was my mother’s and Drew’s, I was about to place my finger on the scanner that knew my print and would lower a ramp to let us into the house, but a door slid open, and IO, my A.I. bot that I had constructed as a companion that I had also programmed parts of my Aspect into hovered in the illuminated doorway of the floating, cylindrical building.
“Hello, Sam,” he called out as he lowered the ramp to let us into the state-of-the-art levitation technology house.
I definitely wasn’t complaining, considering how much time I spent at the house and therefore got to marvel at the tech pretty regularly. I also knew that my mother lived in a house with the very best safety equipment available.
“Hello, everyone,” IO spoke in his boyish, yet digital voice as we all filed into the house. “Everything for the party should be ready shortly.
As IO clasped his robot hands together in front of his body, I finally took him in all the way and noticed he was definitely wearing
one of my mother’s pink aprons.
“That’s a good look for you, buddy,” I chuckled as I patted him on the shoulder and entered the house.
IO lifted the ramp and shut the door, following me inside. We climbed a spiral staircase to the next level, where the living area was. IO had transformed the whole level into an elegant, modern lounge perfect for an afterparty.
“Did you do this all by yourself?” Sasha asked the bot.
“I did. Mrs. Candescent asked for something classy that the kids will still like.” He did his best to sound like my mother. “Do you think she will approve?”
“Yeah, you did great,” Lotus giggled.
“I like this part.” Mindy sauntered over to the bar and eyed Heather with a wide grin.
Sasha perked up and twitched her ears as she stalked closer to Heather. “Show us your skills.”
“Don’t make the lady work on her day off,” Dria chuckled.
“But who else can make drinks as well as she can?” Mason pointed out.
“He’s right,” I shrugged with a smirk at Heather.
We had met Heather on the Boardwalk, a popular beachfront in the ritzy area of Graymoor. Heather just so happened to be the very cute and talented red-headed bartender that had immediately caught my eye. We managed to convince her to hang out with us. After a fun day, she had finally broken down and revealed that she was Aspectless, so she was even more shocked to find out that I had once been Aspectless as well.
Although we weren’t dating, the Love Meter over her head told me just how much she really was into me, but we had simply been taking our time. Soon after meeting, Heather had been one of the many innocent Aspectless people kidnapped for the use of the crazy Nirvana’s twisted experiments. Whatever terrible things he had done to her had definitely taken their toll on Heather and everyone who had survived the horror at Temple Island, where Nirvana had been hiding his cult.
Because of the trauma, all the victims were offered some very beneficial support and therapy that was fairly intensive, so between sessions, doctor’s appointments, and work, Heather was just very busy at the moment, but I was in no rush and was content to wait for her as long as she needed.
I still got to see her a decent amount. It thrilled me when her boss announced that The Lime Cabana, the beach bar and restaurant she worked at, would be closed for the Hero Reveals and Rankings. That meant that Heather and the whole staff could go to the event. Her boss, a wealthy man with an Aspect that made him look like an alligator, had even announced he had purchased tickets for them all.
As soon as Heather conceded and stationed herself behind the bar, she started whipping up specialty drinks with ease. Honestly, if I hadn’t known any better, I would have guessed she had an Aspect that aided her somehow. She made the whole process, from the pouring of the alcohol to the bottle tricks she pulled off to the colorful and otherworldly presentations, look so spectacular. The truth was, since she didn’t have an Aspect, she had to become great at something, and better yet, at something that would allow her to live in Graymoor and work on the beach.
For someone without an Aspect, that was really the best you could hope for in the world, and Heather really did make the most of it because she really was passionate about it. That was evident to all of us as we watched her mix drinks in awe.
In a pretty short amount of time, she had mixed up eight different drinks for us all as IO turned on some music and hovered off to the kitchen, mumbling something about finishing the finger foods.
“He’s kind of a good little housewife,” Mason laughed as he watched IO go and grabbed a dark looking drink in a skinny glass and took a swig.
“He does seem oddly happy doing these sorts of household tasks.” I took a sip of my own drink that was also in a martini glass.
All thoughts of IO’s excellent housekeeping disappeared as the sound of the ramp lowering to the ground vibrated through the
tower, alerting us that my mother and Drew were home. As soon as the door opened, loud and happy voices carried up the stairs.
“Sounds like they brought the party with them,” Mason snorted.
“Makes sense they would arrive with the man of the hour,” I gushed as Drew appeared.
“Oh, stop.” Drew waved a hand and then spotted the drink in mine. “That looks good!”
“One Pisco Sourball, coming right up!” Heather bubbled and flipped a martini glass onto the bar.
More people started filing into the room, including Allison, who came straight up to me and planted a huge kiss on my lips. She giggled after pulling away and attempted to wipe the red lipstick from my lips. A few more people shuffled over to us to say hello, including my mother, Anthony Lukras, and the rest of the ranked heroes.
Cthulhu approached us wearing his black leather hero suit that definitely worked for the Tentacle Hero. Even though he had a face full of slimy tentacles, black eyes, and a shadow aura that he could shoot out in waves of darkness with hand gestures, he was actually a pretty soft-spoken guy.
He had been another one of our hero teachers at Ascension, so we had spent a good amount of time learning from him. Mason had always been a huge fan of Cthulhu, and so he had immediately accepted The Tentacle Hero’s offer to intern with his hero agency, The Night Watchers.
“You guys looked good out there,” Cthulhu said as he nudged me.
“I felt more like a deer in headlights,” I chuckled.
“You’re a funny kid, Sam.” Cthulhu’s beard tentacles wiggled as he laughed softly.
Sourpatch and Storm Rager had also come and were chatting as IO reappeared on the level with trays of food that he carried around like the serving staff at a fancy party. Zukka Chamberlain was also there and was chatting to none other than Franklin Aires, the notorious leader of the Copper Gang, which had operated and controlled a territory in the Lower End of Kellade for a long time.
Whenever I had heard his name growing up, or even after I had managed to secure a truce with the gang that gave me safe haven in their territory so that I could get to my job, I had a healthy fear of the man. So, I had been just as surprised as everyone else to find out that his life passion was the same as all of ours: he just wanted to see his community thrive, and so he partnered with my mother’s charity and did a lot of really great work with the shelter in Kellade. Seeing him and Zukka speaking was a little weird, but it was also the kind of thing we all wanted to see more of as we worked to bridge the gaps between the classes in our region.
Heather happily worked away at making a bunch of fun drinks for everyone while IO hovered around the room with food platters and Heather’s concoctions. Meanwhile, I chatted with the various guests, including more heroes and friends who had since arrived. The living room of my mother’s home held a nice little bustle as people chatted and enjoyed each other’s company.
I was sitting on one of their white chaise lounge chairs, browsing through my Aspect’s information. It popped up in front of my eyes like a TV screen. The first things I checked were my Stats and my level.
LevelSixtyTwo
Strength[410]
Dexterity[380]
Vitality[410]
Intelligence[205]
Perception[220]
Charisma[120]
Empathy[80]
I usually did keep my Strength and Vitality pretty high, especially now that I was doing hero work and never knew when a fight might break out with some villains, but my Aspect did allow me to move my points around as I needed, so if I knew I was going to have to convince someone of something, I could raise my Empathy and Charisma.
Next, I filtered through the skillsI had acquired so far.
Cloaking20minswitha2hrcooldown
QuickSand10minswitha30mincooldown
ShadowTravelnolimitations
The Analyst! When Activated will Allow User to Process InformationFaster!
Screenshot! When Activated User will subconsciously capture stillsofimportantmoments!
BloodMagic!WhenActivatedwillAllowUsertoControlaPerson’s BodyCompletely!
The Gift of Flight! When Activated will Allow User the Ability to Flyfor30secswitha30mincooldown!
Magic Shield! When Activated Will Protect User andCompanions fromStatusEffectsfor3minwith2hrcooldown!
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camp. But he didn't quit thar, the big feller didn't. He was spilin' for a fight, and he was bound to have it. He jest went down into the bottom-land, into the medder-lot, every day, mornin' and evenin', and dared 'em and dared 'em. I tell you he did pester 'em mightily. The old feller, Saul, the gineral, he felt more chawed up and meaner than the sogers, and, when he couldn't stan' it no longer, he told the boys if any of 'em would go down and lick that big feller he'd give him his gal, and a right smart chance of plunder. But they was all so skeer'd that even that didn't start one of 'em. The big feller went down and dared 'em and pestered 'em more'n a month—forty days, the Bible says. I don't know what they'd a-done if it hadn't a-be'n that a peart little feller had come down to camp one day to fetch some extra rations to his three big brothers that their old dad had sent to 'em from home. Kind old pap he was, and sharp, too, for he sent along a big present to the boys' cap'en. Well, jest as little brother drove up, they was all gwine out to fight, and the little feller left his traps with the driver, legged it after the sogers, and told his big brothers howd'y. Right thar the old big feller come out and dared 'em agin, and they was all so skeer'd that they jest run like mad. The little feller heerd him, and then went back into camp and heerd all the sogers talking about him, and what the old gineral would give to have him licked. He asked 'em a heap of questions about it all, and big brother he got mad at him, and twitted him about keeping sheep, and give him a right smart of sass. He was plucky, but you see he had to stan' it, 'cause 'twas big brother. Big brothers are mighty mean sometimes.
"But the little feller talked a heap with the other sogers, and they told the old gineral about him, and he told them to tell the little feller to come and see him. The little feller was mighty plucky, and he jest up and told the old Gineral Saul that he'd fight the big feller! The gineral looked at the handsome little feller—he was raal handsome—and ses he, kinder softly, I reckon, and shakin' his head: 'It's too big a job; you're only a chunk of a boy, and he's an old fighter.' The little feller spunked up and told the old gineral that he'd had one b'ar-fight, and he'd killed the b'ar. He said there was an old lion and a b'ar got among his dad's sheep, and was gwine off with a lamb. He broke for 'im, and as soon as he met up with the old b'ar he lamm'd him, till the b'ar turned on him for a hug; but he got one hand into the long ha'r,
under his jaw, and he lamm'd him with the other till he was dead. He'd killed the lion and the b'ar, and he know'd he was enough for the old big feller.
"Then the little feller talked raal religious to the old gineral. You see he'd got religion afore that, and he know'd that the Lord would help a feller, if he was all right, and got in a tight place. He told Gineral Saul that the Lord had made him mighty supple, and looked out for him when the old lion and b'ar tried to get their paws into him; and he knew he'd see him through the fight with the old big feller; for he was jest darin' 'em and pesterin' 'em to make game of religion. When the old gineral seed he was so plucky, and religious too, he know'd them's the kind that fit powerful, and he told him to go in, and he made a little pra'r for him hisself. Then the old gineral put his own soger-close on the little feller, and strapped his sword on to him. But they was all a heap too big, and he shucked 'em off d'rectly, and made for a dry branch down in the bottom. There he hunted five little rocks, smooth as a hen-egg, put 'em in a little bag where he carried his snack when he was a-tendin' the sheep, got his sling fixed all right, and hurried up to meet the old big feller in the medder-lot. When he seed him comin' he was powerful mad they'd sent down such a little feller, and jawed awful. But the little feller jest talked back religious, and kept his eye peeled. And I reckon the big feller couldn't a be'n a lookin'. I've studied a heap on it, and I jest know the big feller couldn't a-be'n a-lookin'; for the little feller got out his sling, and drew away, and shied a little rock at him, and he popped him, and down he tumbled. Then the little feller rushed up and mounted on him, jest as an old hunter loves to get on a b'ar after he's shot him; and he out with the big feller's long sword and off with his head. Then it was them Philistine sinners' turn to be skeer'd, and they broke for the brush; and all them chil'en of Israel fellers jest shouted and chased 'em clean over the mountain into a valley, and then com'd back and got all their camp-plunder.
"My breethrin, that's the best story of a fight I ever read after; and you can't buy no better story-book than this 'ere Bible."
If the facts presented in this chapter make a draft on the credence of any of my readers that they find it difficult to honor, I respectfully
commend to them the study of the late United States census, especially its portrayal of the illiteracy of the late slave States. The figures are as humiliating as they are startling. They seem at length to be forcing themselves upon the attention of the President, Congress, and the country. But no figures can ever make any such impression as the actual personal contact I have had with thousands of these people in their own homes, since the commencement of my labors among them in 1843.
But my account of "Old-Time Illiterate Preachers in the Southwest" would be very incomplete if it did not include some of the notable NEGRO
PREACHERS OF THE OLD RÉGIME.
I used to take great interest in hearing them preach, and availed myself of every possible opportunity to do so, consistent with my duties. Many of these preachers were very devout and godly men. They had good judgment, strong native sense, and exerted a great influence over the slaves, which was highly appreciated by their masters. They also gratified in a measure the religious instincts of the slaves, by officiating at their weddings and funerals.
One of the largest, most orderly, and impressive funeral processions that I have ever witnessed, was that of an old negro preacher at Lexington, Kentucky, who had been the pastor of a large colored church in that city for many years. It was upon a Sabbath afternoon, during a meeting of the Synod of Kentucky, which I was attending. Hundreds of slaves came in from the surrounding country, and it was estimated that there were from two to three thousand in the procession. Nearly every family-carriage in the city and the surrounding country was in the line, occupied by the "family servants." These carriages were sent by the owners, as their tribute to the old preacher for his great and good influence over their slaves. The most of the men marched some four or six abreast, with slow and solemn tread, and that silent awe to which their natures are so susceptible in the presence of death.
I knew another negro preacher, and often heard him address his people, for whom I had the profoundest respect. He was a devout and saintly man, and his dignified port and bearing were those of a
born gentleman. He was often engaged the whole week "attending masons." I have often met him as he was driving a horse, sitting upon a wagon-load of mortar, thoroughly bespattered, and received from him a bow so easy, dignified, and graceful, that many a Governor and Congressman that I have known might well covet his distinguished bearing.
Upon one occasion I heard him preach a sermon to his congregation, enforcing the duty of keeping their hearts pure and free from all evil thoughts, when he abruptly broke forth: "But you say, 'I can't, I can't. These bad thoughts come to me, and I can't help it.' I know you can't help it," said he, "and I know, too, that you can't help the birds dying over your heads; but you can help their building nests in your ha'r" (hair).
The public political, theological, and other discussions, that I have already described in this volume, developed a love of religious controversy in the Southwest such as I have never known among any other people.
The negroes were echoes and imitators of the whites in this respect as in others. Morning services were for the white congregations, but slaves usually attended them, often in large numbers. The afternoons were mostly given up to the colored people, and they were free to attend religious services, whether they were ministered to by white or negro preachers. If there was a public discussion, or any special interest or excitement upon any subject at the morning service, that was almost certain to be the theme of the negro preacher's discourse to his afternoon audience.
The overwhelming majority of colored church-members were either Baptists or Methodists. The differences of these churches in doctrinal belief were the theme of almost endless controversy between the colored champions and defenders of these opposing creeds.
Some of these discussions were original and spicy, beyond anything I have ever heard of in the line of theological controversy. I will give a few characteristic illustrations.
I had preached in the morning at a small county-seat village, and after dinner set out, with a venerable and estimable Methodist "local preacher," to attend his afternoon appointment. After a ride of several miles, we reached the brow of a very deep and narrow ravine, which we were to cross. At the moment of our arrival a venerable, gray-haired black man, mounted upon a fine horse, appeared upon the opposite brow. At the first sight of him I turned to my companion and said:
"That must be a brother preacher."
"Oh, yes," said he, "he is a very distinguished preacher He is the champion and defender of the Methodist Church among the colored people in all this region. He is an old and favorite family servant, and his master, who is a graduate of West Point, allows him to use that fine horse in going to his afternoon appointments."
As we passed him, he returned "the bow professional" with a dignity and a Methodistic swing that would have done honor to such old itinerants as Bishop Asbury and Bishop Soule. Such was my first acquaintance with the Rev. Nathan Board, whose controversial exploits I am about to relate. As we rode on, my friend informed me that upon one occasion, when Nathan was present at a Baptist church at a communion, the preacher, in giving the reason why they did not invite those of other denominations who were present to commune with them, said:
"We are not alone and singular in the fact that we do not invite you all to commune with us. Presbyterians fence the tables. Methodists fence the tables. All other denominations fence the tables. They do not allow anybody and everybody to commune with them. We all fence the tables. The only difference is, that the Baptist fence is a little higher than any of the others."
In the afternoon Nathan preached to his people, and as some of them had been present in the morning and heard this address, he had to answer it for their benefit. After repeating the whole address, he said:
"Now, my bruddren, I'd rather have a low fence and a tight one, than a high fence and a good many holes in it."
As these Baptists were of the anti-mission class, who opposed an educated and paid ministry, Sabbath-schools, Bible societies, and all mission enterprises, but favored good Bourbon, Nathan's reply was regarded as decidedly personal, and some of them thought he ought to be "whooped" (whipped) for his impudence.
A few weeks after this I reached a county-seat village upon the Ohio River, and learned that it had recently been the theatre of a very exciting theological controversy among the slaves.
A colored Baptist preacher, of great reputation among his brethren for boldness and polemical skill as the champion and defender of his denomination, a Calvinist of the stern John Knox order, became greatly excited on account of what he esteemed the heretical doctrines and bad influence of Methodism. After mature deliberation, he determined that he would wage against it a war of extermination in the community.
Having formed this resolution, for successive Sabbaths he labored in the work, and discharged his batteries with most telling effect. His victory was a signal one. Arminianism was overwhelmed—the Methodists were completely routed. They had no preacher that they dared to put up to answer their opponent, and they could only manfully acknowledge that they were beaten for the present, and adjourn their defense to some future day. I was only able to learn the manner in which he discussed the antagonistic Arminian and Calvinistic doctrines of "falling from grace," and the "perseverance of the saints." But, if that was a specimen of the entire discussion, any one at all acquainted with slave preaching, with the frequent use made by these preachers of illustrations and comparisons, and the great effects produced by them upon the minds of the slaves, can well understand how this preacher had such power over his audience. It was as follows:
"De Methodiss, my bruddren, is like de grasshopper—hoppin', all de time hoppin'—hop into heaven, hop out, hop into heaven, hop out. But, my bruddren, de Baptiss, when he get to heaven, he's dar! De
Baptiss is like de 'possum. Hunter get after him, he climb de tree; he shake de limb, one foot gone; he shake de limb, anudder foot gone; he shake de limb, ebbery foot gone; but tink you, my bruddren, 'possum fall? You know, my bruddren—you cotch too many—you know 'possum hang on by de tail, and de berry debbil can't shake him off!"
The head Methodists, after many conferences, concluded that they would make one desperate effort to save their cause. After discussing the merits of all their preachers far and near, they decided to send for the Rev. Nathan Board, the veteran war-horse in theological polemics I have already introduced to my readers. This venerable preacher of the olden time was a genuine African, and entered his profession before it was fashionable for those of his class to learn to read; but he had a strong memory, which made up somewhat for this "defect" in his education, and, if he could not remember the very thing that he wished to repeat, he could always remember something; and, therefore, he was never at a loss for a quotation from Scripture, or an illustration.
The appointed Sabbath arrived, and Nathan was on the ground. The intense excitement among the blacks had aroused the curiosity of the whites, and there was a general turnout of white and black to hear Nathan's defense. His brethren had in private gone over all the strong points that had been made by their opponent, had given him a graphic and glowing picture of the utterly prostrate condition of their cause, and with the eloquence of the deepest feeling had endeavored to impress him with the magnitude of the interests involved in his success or failure. Nathan was greatly excited, but he was confident of his ability to meet the emergency He had not read books, but in the previous fifty years he had witnessed many a fierce and bitter contest between successive Governors, Congressmen, and others, in their hot race for office, and his polemical tastes had made him a close observer of the various methods of meeting and overwhelming an opponent. That my readers may understand what follows, I must premise that the American Bible Union, under the presidency of the Rev. Spencer H. Cone, D.D., was at the time very earnestly engaged in the revision of the Bible; that the Baptist
churches in the Southwest very generally coöperated in this work; that pastors of churches and agents of the society were urging its necessity, and soliciting collections in its aid; and that the other denominations were very generally defending King James's translation, and opposing the new version. Hence the question was the subject of almost universal discussion by the white clergymen; and, as I have already said, the colored preachers were but their echoes—they all felt called upon to enlighten their congregations upon this, as upon all other questions.
Having gone through the preliminary services, Nathan arose and commenced his sermon as follows:
"My bruddren, I has been sent for to come here and preach, and, when I gets t'rough, you'll t'ink I has preached. You'll find my text, if my memory sarve me, in de book of de Revolution: 'For de great day of his raff is come, and who do you t'ink is gwine to stand?'"
Nathan was too full to spend any time in introduction. He broke out at once, in the most emphatic manner: "And do you t'ink, my bruddren, de Baptiss will den be able to stand?" Shutting his eyes and shaking his head most dubiously, with his peculiar guttural "Umph! ah! my Lord! and you'll see 'em paddling den. All de water in de Ohio River won't save 'em den; dey'll call for de rocks and de mountains to fall on 'em in dat great day of his raff, and I'll tell you, my bruddren, dat a hot rock will be a mighty tight place for a Baptiss."
Having thus given vent to his feelings, in imitation of Cicero's immortal philippic against Catiline, he proceeded with more deliberation and at great length to review the entire ground that had been traveled over by his theological assailant.
The grasshopper, the 'possum, and all the other strong points were taken up and disposed of to the entire satisfaction of his brethren. The stunning blows that he had dealt in his opening passage were followed by others, scarcely less telling, all the way through to the peroration. Already he saw in the faces of his audience undoubted evidence of the success of his efforts, and he was flushed with victory. His tone became triumphant, if not overbearing. His
bitterness and severity would surely have been entirely inexcusable, but for the excitement he was under from the terrible provocation. That "grasshopper" comparison was the most damaging assault upon Methodism, the most crushing blow to Arminianism, that he had ever been called upon to repel, in all the long years of his ministry. That of itself was enough to fire all the blood of this old theological war-horse. And then to follow that with the "'possum"— that was the crowning indignity—that was a Calvinistic blow administered to an already crushed and fallen foe, which Nathan's Arminian blood was fired to punish to the very utmost extent of his power. In Nathan's intense admiration for his Master he had, with the extraordinary imitative powers of his race, taken on, in addition to the clerical, a very decided military bearing. In his composite character, he represented the dignity of the bishop and the boldness and dash of the successful general. He was, therefore, a very striking representative of the "church militant," and he put into the remainder of his defense the concentrated polemical power of the two professions. He proceeded:
"De Baptiss, my bruddren, is in such a gone case, dey is in such a mighty tight fix, dat de ole Bible—de Bible dat all de faders and mudders have gone to heaven wid—de Bible dat dey used to love such a heap—de ole Bible dat fill us wid de hebbenly fire all de way along de road to Canaan—dat ole Bible, my bruddren, is no account any more to de Baptiss, and dey say dat the Baptiss is a gwine to get up a new deversion. In de ole Bible it reads, if my memory sarve me, 'In dose days came John de Baptiss.' Dey say in de new deversion its gwine to read, 'In dose days came John de Immerser'—'tain't dar, my bruddren. In de ole Bible it reads, if my memory sarve me, 'He shall baptize you wid de Holy Ghost and wid de fire.' Dey say dat in de new deversion it's gwine to read, 'He shall immerse you wid de Holy Ghost and wid de fire'—tain't dar, my bruddren! Immersin' wid fire, my bruddren!—immersin' wid fire! Who ever read in de Bible 'bout immersin' wid fire, only dem chil'en of de three Hebrewsers? Dey was immersed wid fire—dem three Hebrewsers dat was put into de furnace, heated seven times hot by de dedict of Nebuckefalus—what you call 'em now" (scratching his
head)—"Shamrack, Shimshack, and Bedgone. Dey ar all dat we read in de Bible 'bout bein' immersed wid fire."
This was the finishing blow Nathan sat down. The excitement and joy of his brethren were unbounded. They shouted, danced, shook hands, hugged, and yielded themselves up to that perfect luxury of excited, joyous feeling of which they alone seem capable.
My esteemed friend the late Rev. W.W. Hill, D.D., to whom my readers are indebted for the story of the candidate and his Greek quotations, gave me the following facts, illustrating the argumentative power of an old-time slave preacher:
At the commencement of the Doctor's ministry he was for several years the pastor of a church that had been founded in the early history of the State, and ministered to for a lifetime by a distinguished Scotch minister. He had indoctrinated the entire community, and built up a very strong Presbyterian church. Dr. Hill, who was a native of the State, and greatly interested in the colored people, was very often invited to preach to a colored Baptist church in the afternoon, which he always did with the greatest pleasure. It is perhaps not known to all my readers that the slaves always assumed and stoutly maintained among themselves the relative social rank and position of their masters. If the master was a President, Governor, Member of Congress, Judge, or a man of large wealth, all his slaves participated in his honors, and often bore them more conspicuously and proudly than he did.
It so happened that in Dr. Hill's congregation the families of highest social position were Presbyterians. Some of the slaves, quite naturally for them, got the impression that the Presbyterian Church was "de 'ristoratic church," and thought it would be a nice thing if they could have a Presbyterian church for the colored people. But they were all thoroughly indoctrinated in the Baptist creed—and there was the rub. "Christ went down into the water, and came up out of the water." That, in their minds, was the hard thing to be overcome. But the desire to attain social elevation through church relations has often caused other than colored people to make extraordinary struggles, and they were willing to put forth the effort.
After many conferences upon the subject among themselves, they concluded to invite Dr. Hill to preach on the subject of baptism, and explain and defend the Presbyterian views. They accordingly called on him, and presented their request, which surprised him very much. He said to them:
"I have preached for you, whenever you have invited me, for several years, and you all know that I have never said one word upon the subject of baptism. I do not like to do it now. The people will not understand it, and will think I am trying to proselyte you."
But they told him that they had been appointed a committee to invite him to preach on the subject, and that it would be understood by all that he preached on baptism at their request. Upon this statement he accepted the invitation and afterward preached for them as requested. But his effort was a decided failure; he did not "move de difficulties." "Christ went down into the water, and came up out of the water." That was still the great stumbling-block in the way of the organization of a Presbyterian church for the colored people. Some weeks afterward Judge Green, of Danville, Kentucky, drove over in his family carriage to make a visit and spend a Sabbath with some of his friends in this congregation.
It soon became noised abroad among the slaves that the driver of this distinguished jurist was not only, like his master, a Presbyterian, but he was a noted Presbyterian preacher.[4]
The committee who had invited Dr. Hill to make the effort that proved so unsuccessful, at once waited upon their distinguished visitor, and invited him to preach to them upon the subject of baptism. He was from Danville, the seat of a Presbyterian college, the Jerusalem of the Presbyterian Church in Kentucky. Hence the honor of that Church among the colored people of that State was largely in his keeping, and he appreciated his responsibilities. He accepted the invitation promptly, and, like the Rev Nathan Board, he was confident and eager to stand forth as the champion of his church. He was greeted with a large congregation, and his effort was a decided success.
Some days after, Dr Hill met some of the committee, and said to them:
"I understand that this colored Presbyterian minister from Danville preached on baptism last Sunday, and that he has made the whole matter entirely clear and satisfactory to you all."
They assured him that that was true.
"Now," said the Doctor, "that seems very strange to me. You all profess to like my preaching, and are generally full of compliments and thanks for my sermons. I have done my very best for you on this subject of baptism. I have told you all I know—all I have learned from Hebrew and Greek—and it did not do one bit of good. And now this colored minister from Danville preaches to you, and beats me entirely. He makes the whole subject plain and satisfactory to you. Can you tell me what he said?"
"Oh, yes, yes, yes!" they responded. "His tex' was, 'My sheep hears my voice, and I knows them, and dey follows me.' Den he said, 'In de Bible de Christians is de sheep.' He had a heap of Bible on dat p'int, and he preached a mighty long time and make dat so strong, no nigger can't 'spute it. And den he said, mighty strong, 'Now, my bruddren and sisters, you all knows you can't get a sheep into de water nohow, 'less you cotch him and carries him in.' And, preacher, you knows dat is so yourself."
I give these truthful sketches of old-time slave preachers and preaching in the hope that others may follow my example, and preserve as many as possible of these illustrations of a state of things now rapidly passing away, through the labors of an educated ministry.
FOOTNOTES:
[4] I do not know that I need to say that these slave preachers were not regularly licensed and ordained by any ecclesiastical body. They simply assumed the profession, and were recognized as preachers among their own people.
