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Pitchin a Hissy Fit Fairy Tales of a Trailer Park Queen 14 1st Edition
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Kimbra Swain
Fit to Be Tied, Fairy Tales of a Trailer Park Queen, Book 13
ASIN: B07RZM79XB
Kimbra Swain / Crimson Sun Press, LLC kimbraswain@gmail.com
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.
Cover by: TS95 Studios
Formatting by Serendipity Formats: https://serendipityformats.wixsite.com/formats
Editing by Carol Tietsworth: https://www.facebook.com/Editing-by-Carol-Tietsworth328303247526664/
CONTENTS
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Cast of Characters
Acknowledgments About the Author
I LOOKED UP FROM THE BOOK WITH TEARS IN MY EYES.
“Damn, Levi,” I muttered.
“We did what we did for you,” he said.
“I’m so sorry.” I’d just finished reading his story of what happened in the Otherworld. He’d been tortured along with Dylan. He’d been made to do things to keep Winnie safe. And through it all, he remained a pure untainted heart.
“Nothing was more important than protecting Winnie and you. Dylan and I agreed on at least that one point. I admit that it was brutal, and I don’t care to revisit those memories. Once I wrote them down in that book, I decided to absolve myself of what happened. Most of it was beyond my control. The rest, I chose to do in order to save those that I loved,” he said.
I placed my hand on his face, looking through the glamour that he used to hide his scar. I’d wondered why he had chosen to hide it along with the scars on his body. After reading the book, I knew that he’d come to terms with the evil that happened and the things he’d done to survive. For all my strength, I couldn’t have done what he did. Tracing the scar from his forehead to his chin with my fingertips, I too decided that the things that happened needed to be remembered, but only in this book.
Those dark days needed to be put away for the time ahead. For our future together with our children. We had a wedding to attend and a realm to regain. Dwelling on Dylan’s death and Levi’s torture
wouldn’t get me anywhere. Now that I knew what had happened, it was abundantly clear why Levi hadn’t told me. Part of it was his own struggle with his decisions while there. The other part was he wanted to protect me from the horrors that he and Dylan faced.
“Thank you for saving my daughter. Thank you for loving Dylan. Thank you for coming home to me.” My voice cracked, and he kissed me gently.
“I will always come home to you,” he replied.
Levi’s story about his experiences in the Otherworld will be part of the Short Story Anthology that I will release in the fall of 2019. The story is called, AMonthofSundays.
“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, ” I SAID, LOOKING AT MYSELF IN THE mirror. My girlfriends stood behind me giggling. They were all officially disowned. This white tulle and taffeta monstrosity was utterly ridiculous.
“I think it’s gorgeous,” Ella gushed. She and Astor had come through a portal this morning to help with wedding planning. He had whisked Levi off to do “man” things. I didn’t want to know.
“It’s too much. I can conjure a dress,” I protested.
“You will not!” Jenny said.
“I agree. You need a proper, royal wedding dress, Grace,” Betty added.
Jenny, Betty, Kady, Wendy, and Riley had arrived not long after Ella appeared. Ella looked ripe. It was only a matter of time, and she would pop out those twins. I could very clearly feel their presence. I also knew it was one boy and one girl. They had decided that they didn’t want to know, and Levi made me swear not to tell.
“So, what kind of cake?” Riley asked. She sat in the recliner with a notepad and pen, writing down everything we neededfor a proper royal wedding. I still wasn’t sold on the idea of a huge wedding. Levi wanted one though. I could see the hurt in his eyes when I suggested we just elope.
“I don’t care,” I said.
“Grace! Are you really going to be bridezilla for the next two days?” Kady asked.
“I’m not a dinosaur, although I’m old enough to be one. Seriously though, this is not my idea of an ideal wedding. I’m only doing this for Levi,” I said.
“And Levi would love to see you in that dress,” Riley said.
If I had rolled my eyes any harder they would have jumped out the back of my head.
“This is too much,” I repeated. “Something…less, please.”
“Fine. Let’s try this one,” Wendy said, unzipping another of the five or six bags that Jenny had brought when she arrived. Tennyson apparently had connections in the wedding dress industry, as well. I shouldn’t have been surprised.
“These would look better on you,” I told Jenny.
“Um, no,” she said. “I’ve been married.”
“To my dad,” I said. The chatter in the room silenced. “Stepmom,” I added. Betty started giggling and the rest followed. Jenny watched me with a grin on her face. Thankfully, she wasn’t mad.
I tucked my urge to rage at this whole process away. Humor was my disguise. For Levi.
“Oh, Grace! This one has blue in it. It would look great with your eyes,” Wendy gushed. She didn’t seem the type to let wedding dresses turn her into a girly girl, but apparently every woman had a soft spot for a wedding dress.
“Blue dress,” I muttered as the memory flared to life in my head.
“You are wearing a long, blue dress that flows as the breeze blowsaroundus.”
Dylan’s dream. I wondered if the dress was different when he dreamed about Levi and me. I pushed back the emotions, and thankfully, I was saved by the queen.
Chaz burst through the front door. “Oh, my stars, that is atrocious. Take that off,” he said. I already had the taffeta mountain halfway off. “Thank the heavens someone with taste is here.” He leaned over and kissed Ella’s belly gently.
“Hello, Charles,” Ella said.
“Good grief,” he huffed. “Please do not call me that in public. It ruins my image.”
“We all know your name is Charles,” Betty informed him.
“It’s not the knowing. It’s actually acknowledging the fact that I once was a stuffy twat of a man,” he said.
“And now what are you?” I asked.
“Fabulous, of course.” He saw Wendy with the white and blue dress in her hands. “Yes! Child, this is it. Put it on. Let me see.” He clapped his hands, then sat down on the couch.
“Where is Winnie?” Jenny asked.
“Callum and Aydan took her into town to pick out a dress for the wedding. Callum mentioned picking up suits, too,” I said.
“Too bad I’m not there to advise on that. Thankfully, Callum has taste,” Chaz said.
“It doesn’t matter what they wear,” I said.
“I beg your pardon, but it does, Grace Ann Bryant. This is a royal wedding. If we had time, I’d make you watch the most recent royal wedding in England. You need a little refinement. You’ve lived in the trailer park too long,” Chaz said.
“Thanks!” I replied.
“It wasn’t a compliment,” he huffed.
Wendy opened the bottom of the dress up and put it over my head. It slid down around me, falling into a less offensive bottom. The top was nice with lace and blue beading. It wasn’t completely blue which I liked.
“That’s it,” Riley said.
“I agree,” Kady added.
“You look beautiful, Grace,” Betty said with a tear in her eye.
“That settles it,” Jenny said. “This is your wedding dress.”
“What?! Wait! Don’t I get a say in the matter?” I asked.
“No!” they all shouted back at me.
“Geez, calm your tits,” I grumbled. When I looked in the mirror, I agreed. Levi would love it.
AFTER THEY DECIDED what dress I would wear, I let them decide on the other stuff, too. I had no idea all these things were needed for a
wedding. Cake, flowers, reception food, etc.
“Where are you having the wedding?” Riley asked.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“There was a big house with a long front porch that wrapped around the side of the house. Behind it, there was a garden and a gazebo.”
“Have it here in the garden,” Riley suggested. “No!” I said too loudly. Stares.
“What’s going on, honey?” Betty asked.
“Nothing. We can have it in town. In the town square,” I said.
“The square is pretty damaged from the faun attack,” Kady said.
“Oh,” I replied, trying to think of anywhere but here.
“What about at the church?” Wendy suggested.
“No, that’s Summer realm. It wouldn’t be good for a Winter Queen to get married there,” Ella explained.
“We will have it out at the stone circle,” Jenny said. “Grace?”
“Matthew,” I replied. I didn’t care if that part of the dream was the same. Matthew had been the spiritual leader in the community for a long time. He had always been kind to me.
“He would love to do it,” Kady said. “I’ll let him know.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Alright. Who’s giving you away?” Riley asked.
“Um, I dunno. Nestor, I guess.”
“I know that Finley would like the job,” Riley said.
“He would?”
“Yes. He said something about it this morning. He said it was his duty and that way if Levi messed up, he could kick his ass,” Riley said with a smile.
“Oh, there will be a line for that if Levi messes up,” Betty said.
“Leave him alone,” I said, protecting my groom. “Levi has never done anything to harm me. He never will.”
“Listen to that,” Betty said.
“It sounds like love to me,” Chaz added.
“We aregetting married,” I said.
“The gypsies would like to provide the music for the reception,” Wendy said.
“Oh, good!” Riley replied, hastily writing it down in her notebook.
“I’m making the cake,” Betty said. “And Luther said he had some other items for reception food.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“You will see,” she replied with a devious grin.
I saw splashes of gravy in my future.
“Tennyson has taken care of all the rental needs. Chairs, tables, etc.”
“Chaz and I will make the bouquets. We just need to know what kind of flowers you want. It’s late spring, so we can get just about anything here or in summer that you would want,” Ella said.
“I don’t really have a favorite. I’ll defer to your expertise,” I said.
“Grace, you’ve got to find something about this wedding and make it personal to you. If you don’t, you’ll regret it,” Betty said. “This day is important, not just for you, but for all of us. The new monarchy is rising. The future of our people, and forgive me, if I want it to be amazing.”
I hung my head. “There are just so many other things going on right now.”
“This wedding will be the most important thing happening on this planet tomorrow. I can almost guarantee it. This is a promise to keep the veil intact. A promise to protect our people and the humans. You are marrying Levi, but the both of you represent what we all will become,” she explained. “So, get with the program.”
“Oh! Programs,” Riley said, as she scribbled in her book again.
Betty’s words took root. I’d never thought of it as anything more than pledging myself to Levi for the rest of eternity. She was right. This wedding meant a lot more than that. A hell of a lot more.
“You’re right,” I conceded. “It’s just not who I am to get caught up in these things.”
“Perhaps you should. Just this once,” Chaz suggested. “It would mean a lot to all of us.”
“I’ll try.”
“WELL, YOU SURVIVED IT, ” LEVI SAID, AS I RECAPPED THE PLANNING SESSION.
“I did, but I don’t know how much longer I could talk about flowers and cake,” I groaned. He laughed on the other end of the phone. “Where are you?”
“With Tennyson,” he said.
“Where are you?” I repeated.
“Taking care of my part of the wedding stuff,” he replied.
“Levi Rearden,” I fussed.
“What? You callin’ it off?” he asked.
“You know I’m not,” I replied.
“Then you know what you need to know,” he said.
“There better not be strippers involved,” I said.
“And what if there are?” he teased.
“Levi!”
He just laughed instead of answering me, so I hung up on him.
“Iloveyou,Grace.”
“Nope.Nottalkingtoyou.”
Then, he laughed in my head. Bastard bard.
I took a deep breath while stowing my phone in my pocket. I needed to make this visit, but I knew it would hurt. I lightly tapped on the door and waited.
“Come on in. It’s open,” Remington Blake said.
I eased into his cabin that he once shared with Tabitha Mistborne. He sat in the corner, bruised and battered.
“Hey, Remy.”
“Well, hello, Beautiful. Come sit with me. Forgive me if I don’t get up.”
“You don’t have to. Not for me,” I said.
“Grace, you can punish yourself for this all you want, but this was my fuck up. Not yours.”
“I was so blind,” I said.
“Hell, I was, too.” He took a sip of his drink. I knew Remy, and I knew it was brandy. I slipped my hand into his free one. He squeezed it. “Stop worryin’. I’m gonna be fine.”
“What can I do for you?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just need some time to sort it all out. I’ll be at the wedding.”
“Remy, you don’t have to do that.”
“Gracie, to see you settle down with one man! Hell, I’d pay good money for that, and now I get to see it for free,” he teased. “I’ll glamour all this up before I come.”
He had bruises all over his body. Both of his eyes were black. Tennyson had talked to him and reported back to Levi that Tabitha had turned him over to her mother when the good doctor decided to make her move to be the heir to Summer. Apparently, it was part of Rhiannon’s payment. My capture was part of it, too. Rhiannon had planted Tabitha in Shady Grove years ago hoping to find a way to get to my father’s throne. When I moved to town, she had Tabitha befriend me. She also had her seduce Remington to keep me from going back to him. She wanted me with Dylan, because she knew she had ways to manipulate him with Stephanie. It was all very messed up. All three of them were dead, but during Remy’s stay with Rhiannon, she used him as a punching bag. She never gave him any rhyme or reason, but he attributed it to his previous marriage with Phoebe and how he’d gotten out of it. Tennyson had worked that deal out without Rhiannon’s knowledge. With Phoebe, who was Rowan, dead, Rhiannon took her frustration out on Remy without saying a word.
“You are a good man, Remington Blake,” I said.
“I’m a liar and a cheat,” he replied.
“I think we’ve all done bad things along the way, but right now, in this moment, you are righteous.”
He chuckled, then sipped his brandy. “Righteous. Heh. I don’t feel righteous.”
“Has Wendy come to check on you?”
“She has. She’s a nice lady. She brought Artemis with her this afternoon. Both very nice ladies. They are taking good care of me.”
“What can I do?”
He looked at me with a crooked smile. “Grace Ann Bryant, you go get married and be happy. Even if it’s just one damn day, be fucking happy. Dance and love. Because the battle to take Winter might kill us all,” he said.
“You aren’t fightin’ in that battle.”
“You gonna stop me?” he asked.
“Remy, what are you going to do?”
“Don’t insult me after you just got finished bein’ so sweet,” he drolled.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yeah, ya did. That’s okay though, because you’re right. I don’t do much, but I can do something. Tennyson said he has a job for me. Niles is here to help.”
“What is the job?” I asked.
“I don’t know yet. He hasn’t told me,” he replied. I sighed. Tennyson and his plans. He always had something up his sleeves. Both of them. I stood up, then leaned over Remy to kiss him on the forehead.
“Thank you, Remy.”
“Whatcha thanking me for?”
“There was once a time when love was a concept I wouldn’t even consider. You made me consider it. We got it wrong, but you opened a door that I thought I’d bolted shut. I wouldn’t be getting married tomorrow if it weren’t for you,” I said.
“Levi is one lucky bastard,” he said with a smile.
“Yes, he is.”
“You are so very welcome, Gracie.”
The door to the cabin opened, and Niles Babineau came in on the end of our conversation.
“My Queen! It is good to see you,” he said with a slight bow.
“Hello, Niles,” I said.
A young boy and girl followed him into the room.
“Grace, I’d like you to meet my children. This is my son, Kyrie, and my daughter, Celestina,” Niles said. Both of the children beamed with a supernatural radiance.
“It is a pleasure to meet you,” I said.
“Are you the queen?” Celestina asked.
“I am,” I replied.
“I want to be a queen, too,” she replied.
“Maybe one day you will be one,” I said. “Niles, you are Star Folk, too?”
He nodded, but Remy explained. “Niles’ influence reaches further than mine does. His gifts are stronger than mine. His children are a reflection of his power.”
The boy leaned against the wall, staring at me. He seemed a bit aloof, but I didn’t fault him. Meeting new people probably wasn’t his thing. He looked to be about Winnie’s age.
“How old are you, Kyrie?” I asked.
“My name is Kyrie Sterling Babineau,” he said.
“Kyrie, you are being rude,” Niles hissed.
“My sister’s name is Celestina Azure Babineau. We are the children of the chief of the Star Folk. You rule below. We rule above,” Kyrie said.
I lifted an eyebrow at Niles who cringed, then I died laughing. “This kid. I like him. Reminds me of someone I used to know.”
“I can see that,” Remy said.
“You, hush. I didn’t ask you,” I prodded at Remy.
He laughed, but Niles still looked uncomfortable. “Grace, I’m sorry. I’ve just tried to teach him to have pride in his heritage.”
I waved his explanation off. “Niles, I’m not offended. Not in the least. You shall be treated like visiting dignitaries. Kyrie, I’m pleased to have your father and the both of you here to visit. Your father is right to teach you to have pride in your people. But you are a visitor
in my kingdom. There is a difference between pride and being prideful. Being prideful will get you turned into dust.” I snapped my finger, and Remy’s glass of brandy turned into icy dust.
“Aw, Grace. Now I gotta get another glass,” Remy whined.
Niles chuckled, but I saw the look in Kyrie’s eyes. He’d gotten the point.
“Sorry, Niles,” I said. “I’m just teaching him a little respect for his elders.”
Celestina didn’t flinch. She stared at me with wondrous eyes. Kyrie held his ground, but I saw the doubt creeping into his confident demeanor. I patted him on the shoulder. “Little lord, you are welcome here. I offer you all the hospitality that Shady Grove has to give. I meant it when I said I liked you, but I wished when I was your age, someone would have snapped a few glasses into oblivion for me.”
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you,” he replied sweetly. He still had the devil in his eyes though. Niles had his hands full with this one.
“You are welcome too, Miss Celestina,” I said, offering her my hand.
“My friends call me Celeste,” she said.
“Can I call you Celeste?” I asked.
“Yes, please,” she replied.
“Well, good. Now see, Niles, we are all friends.”
“I see,” he replied. “I’ll walk you out.”
“Why thank you. Remy, I meant what I said.” He huffed at me but didn’t respond. I didn’t want him fighting in this battle. He’d suffered enough.
Niles walked out to the truck with me. I knew he had something he wanted to say. I just wasn’t sure who he didn’t want to hear it.
“Grace, I would like my children and I to be allowed to stay in Shady Grove. I still have holdings in New Orleans, but I’ve moved the majority of my business here. Most of what I do now is for Tennyson. It would help me to be closer to him,” he requested.
“I don’t have a problem with that. And I really do like your children,” I said.
“Ah, yes, well, Kyrie is beginning to be a handful. Their mother isn’t around much,” he said.
“How is it that the Lord of the Star Folk has an estranged wife?” I asked.
“Just like any other man who has an estranged wife, I suppose. She found better things to do than raise her children,” he said.
“You are doing a good job with them,” I said.
“Only time will tell,” he replied.
“How much influence do you have over Remy?” I asked.
“He’s my subject as much as we are all yours.”
“Make him stay here. I don’t want him in the Otherworld.”
“I’m not sure I can do that. He’s pretty determined to do right by you.”
“He’s done more right by me than I can ever repay. I love that man in there. Not like I loved Dylan, and certainly not like I love Levi. But I don’t want him to suffer any longer,” I said.
“Well, if that little wolf doctor keeps coming around, I’d say you won’t have to worry about him suffering too much.” Niles laughed.
“Oh, really? I figured he’d be done with doctors.”
“Remington Blake will never be done with women. No matter what profession.”
I laughed in response. “That does make me feel better. Just take care of him for me.”
“As you wish, my Queen,” Niles said with a slight bow. He had the same smooth demeanor as Remy. I didn’t know if that was tied to their Star Folk heritage or to their home, New Orleans. I did know that both of them were charmers. Which meant, little mister Kyrie was a charmer, too. I made a note to keep him away from Winnie.
I WANTED TO STOP BY HOT TIN AND GET NESTOR’S OPINION ON WHO SHOULD walk me down the aisle. Last thing I wanted to do was piss off the kelpie, especially after he’d smacked Levi down. I had to admit though I’d like to have seen him in all his shifted glory.
As I approached the bar, two figures stood holding hands in the middle of the street. I gripped the steering wheel because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The two women looked to be lost and didn’t move when I drove up to them.
I jumped out of the car. My tattoo flared sending blue streaks across my body. No mercy for traitors.
“Stephanie! Tabitha! What the fuck are you doing here?” I screamed at them. Both women fell to their knees. “That’s not going to help you.”
“Please, my Queen, we are here to serve you,” Stephanie said.
A sparkling circle appeared to my right and Levi stepped through.
“Grace! Hold up!” Levi said.
“Hold up? Hold up? What the fuck, Levi?” I said, as he moved between the women and me.
“I promised Lilith to protect Stephanie,” he said.
“Why the hell would you do that?” I asked.
“Because this is her second life. She’s cursed to live in the veil. She does not remember anything,” he explained.
“And Tabitha?”
“I don’t know, but since she is here with her then she probably doesn’t remember either,” Levi said, turning to the women. “Tabitha, do you know why you are here?”
“The goddess said I should stay with Stephanie. She said that the king and queen of the vale would accept us,” Tabitha whimpered, watching me through Levi’s legs.
Levi slowly turned back to me. “I promised, Grace.”
“I’m just supposed to look at the both of them every fucking day?” I protested.
Nestor stepped out of the bar with Aydan and Callum.
“Mom?” Aydan ran to me.
“Grace, what’s going on?” Nestor asked.
“Ask Levi,” I said, pointing at my fiancé.
“I promised Lilith that I would protect Stephanie when she returned to Shady Grove. I didn’t know Tabitha would be part of the deal, but here she is,” Levi explained.
“Their memories?” Nestor asked.
“Are wiped,” Levi responded.
“Grace, this is how this works. In your second life, you get to choose whether to remember or not. If they are exiles, you are their Queen,” Nestor explained.
“I don’t want to be their Queen!”
“You don’t get to choose your subjects sometimes, Grace. They are part of the vale now,” Nestor said.
I lowered my hand, allowing my power to fade. “When were you going to tell me about this?” I asked Levi.
“A lot happened, Grace. And we’ve rushed right into this wedding. I had no idea it would be now anyway,” he explained. “I’m sorry. It was something important that slipped. I would never hide anything from you on purpose.”
“Likely story,” Aydan said.
“Aydan,” I scolded him.
Levi grinned at him, then approached me slowly. “They could prove to be very powerful allies. They don’t remember anything.”
“They betrayed us. Both of them. We almost lost Tennyson. We lost your father,” I countered.
He made it to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I stood stiffly, ignoring him the best I could. “Levi.”
He planted a soft kiss on my cheek. “Grace.”
“Anything else you need to tell me?”
“I love you.”
“Cop out.”
“That’s twice today that I’ve told you that I loved you, and you’ve ignored me. Don’t make me prove it,” he whispered in my ear.
Aydan had backed off giving us some room.
“Get away from her!” Jenny said, stepping out of the bar.
Levi growled, then looked back over to her.
“I mean it! Go back to the men. She’s got a party to attend. Take the boys with you,” Jenny told Levi.
“I’m in the middle of something, Jenny,” Levi said.
“I don’t care. You will have her tomorrow,” she replied. “What are they doing here?”
“Second life,” Nestor said.
“Oh, hell,” Jenny grumbled. “I’ll call Tennyson and get them somewhere to stay. Put a guard on them for now.”
“Their memories are erased,” Nestor replied.
Jenny lifted the phone to her ear. “Still, fairies.”
“Agreed,” I said.
“Grace,” Levi prompted.
“What?”
He grinned like a fool. His blue eyes sparkled with humor and love. I was a lucky fairy, but it was so hard to let him win. He already knew what he did to me. Why should I give him more? I was giving him a big, fat wedding.
“Grace,” he practically sang my name. His power rippled over my skin in goosebumps. It wasn’t a command. Just a reminder.
“I love you, Levi.”
“Was that so hard?” he teased.
“I’m only concerned with one hard thing,” I replied.
“Okay, enough of that,” Jenny said, grabbing my arm. “Come on. Levi, Stone and Brox are coming for the women. You get the boys to Tennyson’s place.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he responded, keeping his eyes on me. I shook my head, as Jenny dragged me into the Hot Tin Roof Bar.
C H A P T E R F O U R
“SURPRISE!” THE BAR ERUPTED IN NOISE.
“What is this?” I asked.
White streamers and balloons filled the bar and hung off all the light fixtures. A large pink cake sat on the bar surrounded by strawberry margaritas. Ella ,with her giant belly, sat on one of the stools next to a pile of presents. Mrs. Frist stood behind the counter with a towel over her shoulder. Chaz, Betty, and Wendy stood next to each other at the jukebox. Artemis and Amanda sat at one of the tables.
Riley walked up to me with a fake crown with a veil, then positioned it on my head. “There. Here comes the bride,” she said.
“You are having entirely too much fun with this,” I said.
“It’s not every day we get to have a royal wedding,” Jenny said. Brittany Arizona, my tattoo artist, and Juanita Santiago were there, too. Even the waitress from the BBQ place, Tonya, sat with the other ladies at a table.
“Is this a bachelorette party?” I asked.
“Sort of. It’s a mix between a bridal shower and a bachelorette party,” Jenny said. “It was Riley’s idea.”
“Yes! So, have a drink,” she said, handing me a margarita. “And open your presents.”
“I don’t need presents. I have everything I need,” I said.
“It’s wedding tradition. Open your presents, Grace!” Mrs. Frist said.
“Why are you behind Nestor’s bar?” I asked.
“He allowed me to do it,” she said with a smirk.
“Oh, hell,” I grumbled. My grandfather had rolled out of the snake’s bed and into the spider’s.
“Here open this one,” Jenny said, setting one down in front of me. The women gathered around me as I began to open the presents. Standard wedding presents. A mixer. Silver photo frame. Waffle maker. Bottles of wine.
I sat among the gifts, chatting with the women when Jenny placed one last present in front of me. She sat a bottle of my favorite whiskey next to it.
“You are going to need that,” she said.
“Who is this from?” I asked, smiling at the ladies.
“Levi,” Jenny answered.
“What?” I asked. My curiosity peaked, and I opened the small package. “Oh!” The sound came out more like a whimper than anything.
Reaching into the package, I pulled out a delicate rose-covered teacup. The women made a collective sappy moan. Inside the box, I found a small envelope. I unfolded the paper while holding back tears.
“Well, read it for all of us,” Chaz insisted while wiping a tear with a silk handkerchief.
“Um, okay.” I tried finding my voice.
GRACE,
Ittookmeforevertofindtheexactone,butIfinallydid.WhenI was in the Otherworld with Dylan, he asked about the cup. I told him that it probably went down with the trailer . He wanted me to makesureIfoundanotheronetoremindyouofwhatyoumeantto him. I assured him that you would never forget him. The more I thoughtaboutit,Irealizedhowimportantthatcup was tome, too. Dylan’s love melted your heart. Helped you to find yourself once again. And I couldn’t bemore gratefulto him for it. Withouthim, I
wouldn’thaveyou. So, here isyourteacup. Pour a littlewhiskeyin, andtoasttoDylan.
Allmylove, Levi
I OPENED the whiskey and poured some in the cup.
“To Dylan,” I said.
The ladies in the room lifted their glasses and echoed, “To Dylan.”
“Damn, Levi,” I muttered. Betty leaned over and kissed me on the temple.
“I agree. Damn, Levi. This was supposed to be a fun time! Riley, don’t we have some entertainment?” Betty asked.
“We do!” Riley said, perking up. She dragged a chair across the room over to the pool table. “Come on, Grace. You get the seat of honor.” She patted the seat. I shook my head reminding myself that I was doing all of this for Levi. Levi.
“Thankyou.”
“Areyoucrying?”
“No.Maybe.”
“Youarewelcome.Havefun.”
“You,too.Butnostrippers.”
“Hey!Ididn’tplanthis.”
“Aretherestrippers?”
“Notyet.”He sounded disappointed. Men. I sighed, then took a seat in the chair.
“Everything okay?” Jenny asked, knowing I was talking to Levi.
“He won’t tell me if there are strippers.”
“Did someone say strippers?” Wendy asked.
She opened the bar door, and Cletus and Tater stepped inside with a boom box. Tater sat it down on the table and grinned at me.
“Oh, my goddess,” I mumbled.
Jenny and Riley giggled as Nelly’s HotinHerrebegan to blast out of the speakers.
In all of my years, I’d never seen what happened next. Tater and Cletus began twisting and jerking around all the women who whooped and hollered. Betty stuck dollar bills in Cletus’ overalls while Tater jiggled his butt in front of Ella. She backed away from him laughing, but Chaz slapped him on the ass. Tater yelped but kept dancing. I shook my head as he started toward me. When I tried to stand up, Riley forced me back down into the chair.
Cletus unlatched his overalls allowing them to sink to the ground. He was wearing a pair of boxers that said, “Redneck Romeo.” He shimmied his way toward me with two golden teeth shining from his mouth. I laughed because I couldn’t cry.
Tater wobbled behind him.
“Lookie at my new pants, Grace!” he yelled, grabbing the waist band. He pulled and the snaps up the legs gave way revealing his tighty-whities. “Ain’t that cool!”
“Um, yeah,” I whimpered.
The two goofballs danced around me, twerking things that shouldn’t be twerked. I was going to kill Riley. She stood back clapping and laughing. Then, I saw it. Mrs. Frist held up a cell phone recording the whole thing.
“Put that phone up!” I said.
“No way, my Queen. I have dirt on all the monarchs,” she laughed. I almost thought she was joking, but I knew better.
“Levi is going to die,” I screamed to Riley.
“Levi knew,” she responded with a wink.
“Have mercy,” I muttered as Cletus’ ass wiggled in my face.
Thankfully, they didn’t invest in the extended version of Nelly’s song and after four minutes of vomit-inducing hilarity, Cletus and Tater gathered their garments and excused themselves from the party.
“Wasn’t that fun?” Betty said.
“You guys are nuts,” I exclaimed. “Really?”
“Well, it’s hard to get a stripper at short notice out in a town that technically no longer exists. Although, a guy named Seamus called
and volunteered,” Riley said.
“I might have liked that,” I said.
“Grace!” Jenny scolded.
“You’ve seen him. He’s good looking for a vamp.”
“Pirate.”
“Vampirate.”
“I’d like to meet him,” Mrs. Frist said.
“You would,” I replied. “So, what’s next?”
“Shots!” Riley exclaimed.
Mrs. Frist produced a tray of whiskey shots. She handed an empty glass to Ella, then filled it with sweet tea.
“Everyone take one,” Betty instructed.
The women of my town gathered around the tray. Each one took a shot holding it in their hands. I took the last one and lifted it to throw it back.
“Nope. Hold up,” Riley said. “We each have something to say.”
“Me, first!” Amanda said. “Thank you, Grace, for not killing me. For allowing me to stay in Shady Grove. I’ve never been happier in all my life.”
“You are welcome,” I said.
“Grace, thank you for saving me from a terrible marriage. For making me a part of this town and taking care of my family,” Juanita said.
“You should be thanking me for all the times I listened to your sad stories,” Chaz said. “But since this isn’t about me, thanks for hooking my daughter up with the best knight.”
“Hey! That’s my thank you!” Ella exclaimed.
“Too bad,” Chaz smirked.
We laughed at them, but the thanks continued.
“Thank you, Grace, for trusting me even when we didn’t see eye to eye,” Betty said, then elbowed Mrs. Frist.
“Oh, um, thanks for tolerating me,” she said.
I laughed. “You’re welcome.”
“Thank you for allowing the gypsies to stay here under your protection despite your past connection with Fordele. We feel like we are at home here,” Wendy said.
I nodded to her. But they continued.
“Thank you for helping deliver three beautiful little girls when I was in over my head,” Artemis said.
“Thanks for saving Brad last Christmas. I don’t know what I’d do without my boss,” Tonya said.
“He just your boss?” I asked.
She grinned. “No.”
“You go, girl,” I said, offering her a fist bump which she returned.
“It’s an honor to know that my art is on the Queen and King’s arm. I know now how important those tattoos are. I’m thankful to have been a small part of it,” Brittany said.
“You do good work,” I said.
“I’m also the only tattoo artist in town,” she said with a smile.
“That helps,” I said. “But you did my tattoo before you moved here.”
“I did,” she said. “You and a bunch of women from a trailer park.”
“It seems like it was so long ago,” I said.
“It’s been seven years,” Brittany replied.
“Thank you, Brittany.”
“My pleasure,” she said.
Everyone faced Riley who hadn’t spoken yet. She looked down at her shot glass, then back up to me. “I’m very happy for you and Levi. I’m also very proud to be a Bryant.”
“What?!”
“Finley and I went to see Judge Chastain this afternoon and eloped. He didn’t want to do this whole wedding thing,” she said, showing us her wedding band.
“I’ve never had a sister,” I said.
“You may regret having one now,” she said.
“No, if you make Finley happy, then you are the best sister I could ask for,” I said, lifting my shot glass. “To family. Because you all thank me for these things, and it means a lot to me. But you are my family.”
“Even Frist?” Betty asked. Mrs. Frist kicked her.
“Even Frist. To family,” I repeated.
“To family!” they echoed, then pounded back the whiskey.
“Damn that’s strong shit,” I said.
“You are a lightweight,” Betty teased.
“Maybe I am now. I’m a mom,” I replied.
“And you are going to be a wife,” Amanda said. “Good luck with that.”
“I’m gonna need it,” I admitted.
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of a dark and rainy night, some of the servants having left the gate open, Trumpeter made his escape, and was never again heard of.
With the manners of this species during the breeding season, its mode of constructing its nest, the number of its eggs, and the appearance of its young, I am utterly unacquainted. The young bird represented in the plate was shot near New Orleans, on the 16th of December 1822. A figure of the adult male you will find in Plate CCCCVI; and should I ever have opportunities of studying the habits of this noble bird, believe me I shall have much pleasure in laying before you the results. Dr R informs us that it “is the most common Swan in the interior of the Fur Countries. It breeds as far south as lat. 61°, but principally within the arctic circle, and in its migrations generally precedes the Geese a few days.”
As the adult bird will be subsequently described, I judge it unnecessary at present to enter into a full detail of the external form and characters of the species, and will therefore confine myself to the colours and proportions of the individual represented.
C B , Richardson T S , Fauna Bor -Amer vol ii p 464 “White; head glossed above with chestnut; bill entirely black, without a tubercle; tail-feathers 24; feet black.”
Young after first moult. Plate CCCLXXVI.
In winter the young has the bill black, with the middle portion of the ridge, to the length of an inch and a half, light flesh-colour, and a large elongated patch of light dull purple, on each side; the edge of the lower mandible and the tongue dull yellowish flesh-colour. The eye is dark brown. The feet dull yellowish-brown, tinged with olive; the claws brownish-black; the webs blackish-brown. The upper part of the head and the cheeks are light reddish-brown, each feather having towards its extremity a small oblong whitish spot, narrowly margined with dusky; the throat nearly white, as well as the edge of
the lower eyelid. The general colour of the other parts is greyishwhite, slightly tinged with yellow; the upper part of the neck marked with spots similar to those on the head.
Length to end of tail 52 1/2 inches; extent of wings 91, wing from flexure 23 1/4; bill along the ridge 4 3/8, from the angle of the eye 6, along the edge of the lower mandible 4 1/8; tarsus 4 1/2; hind toe
1 1/4, its claw 3/8; middle toe 6 1/4, its claw 1; inner toe 4 1/2, its claw 10/12; outer toe 6 1/4, its claw 3/4. Weight 19 lb. 8 oz.; the bird very poor.
SCOLOPACEOUS COURLAN.
A S , V .
PLATE CCCLXXVIL M .
This very remarkable bird appears to be entirely confined to that section of the Peninsula of Florida known by the name of “Everglades,” and the swampy borders of the many bayous and lagoons issuing from that great morass. Few are found farther north than “Spring-garden Spring,” of which I have given you an account. I have heard of its having been in one instance procured on one of the Florida Keys, by Mr T P , whose specimen, which was a young male, has been described and figured in the continuation of W ’s American Ornithology. None were seen by me on any of these islands, and our worthy Pilot told me, that in the course of the many years which he had spent in that country he had never met with one off the main-land. It did not occur to me on any part of the coast, while I was proceeding to the Texas, nor is it to be found in that country, which seems very strange, when I look at this bird, and compare it with the Rail family, which is so abundant along the whole of that coast, and to which it is very nearly allied in some of its habits, more especially to the Fresh-water Marsh Hen, Rallus elegans.
The flight of the Scolopaceous Courlan is heavy and of short duration; the concavity and shortness of its wings, together with the nature of the places which it inhabits, probably rendering it slow to
remove from one spot to another on wing, it being in a manner confined among tall plants, the roots of which are frequently under water. When it rises spontaneously it passes through the air at a short distance above the weeds, with regular beats of the wings, its neck extended to its full length, and its long legs dangling beneath, until it suddenly drops to the ground. Few birds then excel it in speed, as it proceeds, if pursued, by long strides, quickly repeated, first in a direct course, along paths formed by itself when passing and repassing from one place to another, and afterwards diverging so as to ensure its safety even when chased by the best dogs, or other not less eager enemies inhabiting the half-submersed wilderness which it has chosen for its residence. When accidentally surprised, it rises obliquely out of its recess, with the neck greatly bent downward, and although its legs dangle for a while, they are afterwards extended behind in the manner of those of the Heron tribe. At such times these birds are easily shot; but if they are only wounded, it would be vain to pursue them. Although of considerable size and weight, they are enabled, by the great length and expansion of their toes to walk on the broad leaves of the larger species of Nymphæa found in that country. They swim with the same buoyancy as the Coots, Gallinules, and Rails.
The nest of this bird is placed among the larger tufts of the tallest grasses that grow at short distances from the bayous, many of which are influenced by the low tides of the Gulf. It is so well fastened to the stems of the plants, in the same manner as that of Rallus crepitans, as to be generally secure from inundation; and is composed of rank weeds matted together, and forming a large mass, with a depression in the centre. The eggs, which rarely exceed five or six, are large for the size of the bird. The young are hatched early in May, and follow their parents soon after birth, being covered with coarse tufty feathers, of a black colour
The Ever-glades abound with a species of large greenish snail, on which these birds principally feed; and, from the great number of empty shells which are found at the foot of the nest and around it, it is probable that the sitting bird is supplied with food by her mate. Their notes, when uttered while they are on wing, are a sort of cackle, but when on the ground, much louder, especially during the pairing season, or when they are started by the report of a gun. The flesh of the young is pretty good eating. Although it is alleged that this bird occasionally alights on trees, I have never seen it in such a situation.
A , Gmel. Syst. Nat. vol. i. p. 647. Lath. Ind. Ornith. vol. ii. p. 701.
A , Ch Bonap Synopsis of Birds of United States, p 39
S C , A , Ch. Bonap. Amer. Ornith. vol. iv. p. 111, pl. 26, fig. 2. Nuttall, Manual, vol. ii. p. 68.
Adult Male. Plate CCCLXXVII.
Bill long, being double the length of the head, rather slender, but strong, much compressed, straight, its breadth less before the nostrils than towards the point; upper mandible with the dorsal line straight until towards the end, then slightly arcuato-declinate, the ridge convex in its whole length, the sides nearly erect, more convex towards the extremity, the tip blunted, the edges broad and obtuse for half their length, sharp but thick in the rest of their extent; lower mandible slightly ascending at the base, then direct, much compressed towards the tip, which is acute, the angle long and very narrow, the dorsal line slightly convex, the edges obtuse, becoming sharp towards the end. Nasal groove nearly half the length of the bill; nostrils direct, linear, long.
Head rather small, oblong, compressed. Eyes rather large. Neck long and slender. Body ovato-oblong, much compressed. Feet very
long and slender, rather stout; tibia bare in its lower half, which is anteriorly covered with hexagonal scales, posteriorly with transverse scutella; tarsus long, compressed, anteriorly with numerous broad scutella, laterally with very small elongated scales, posteriorly with large scutelliform scales, many of which are divided; toes long, rather slender; hind toe small and elevated; fourth considerably longer than second, middle toe nine-twelfths of an inch longer than the outer; the anterior toes are divided to the base, compressed, scutellate above, scaly on the sides, papillate beneath, compressed and not marginate. Claws of moderate length, very slightly arched, compressed, tapering to a point; that of the first toe smallest, of the third largest, without serratures on the inner edge, which is thin and a little expanded.
Plumage of ordinary texture, rather compact and glossy on the upper parts, blended on the lower; feathers on the head and neck short, oblong; on the back ovate and very broadly rounded. Wings of moderate length, very broad, concave, rounded; primaries broad, secondaries very broad and rounded; first primary two-thirds of the length of the second, which is ten-twelfths shorter than the third; the fourth, which is longest, exceeds the third by one-twelfth, and the fifth by half a twelfth; some of the secondaries reach to half an inch of the tip of the longest primary when the wing is closed; the three outer quills are narrower toward the base than toward the extremity, more especially the first. The tail is short, broad, convex, rounded, of twelve broad, rounded feathers.
Bill greenish-yellow, dusky toward the end of both mandibles, but especially of the upper; iris hazel; feet lead-grey, claws dusky. The general colour of the plumage is chocolate-brown, the upper parts glossed, with purple and bronze reflections; the fore part of the head paler, inclining to grey, each feather with a greyish-white central line; the sides of the head and the throat are still lighter, and a small portion of the throat is whitish, these parts being streaked with
greyish-brown and greyish-white; the lower eyelid white. The hind part and sides of the neck are marked with elliptical spots of white in regular series, there being one on each feather, some of them extending forwards to the posterior angle of the eye. Some of the feathers on the middle of the breast and the lower wing-coverts are similarly marked with lanceolate white spots; the tail is more highly glossed and coloured than the rest of the upper parts.
Length to end of tail 25 3/4 inches, to end of wings 25, to end of claws 32, to carpal joint 13 3/4; extent of wings 41; wing from flexure
12 1/2; tail 5 1/2; bill along the ridge 4 7/12, along the edge of lower mandible 4 3/4; bare part of tibia 2 1/2; tarsus 4 8/12; hind toe 1 1/12, its claw 7/12; second toe 2 4/12, its claw 3 1/2/12 twelfths; third toe 3 1/2, its claw 10/12; fourth toe 2 8/12, its claw 8/12.
The Female is somewhat less, but resembles the male.
Length to end of tail 25 inches, to end of claws 33 1/4; to end of wings 24, to carpal joint 12 3/4; extent of wings 42; wing from flexure 12; tail 4 3/4; bill along the gape 4 3/8.
The young when fully fledged is of a much lighter tint; the head and fore-neck brownish-grey, the lower parts greyish-brown. The bill is yellowish-green, darker toward the end; the feet much darker than in the adult. Excepting the quills, primary-coverts, tail-feathers, and the rump, all the plumage is marked with spots of white, of which there is one along the centre of each feather; those on the neck elongated, on the back, wings, and breast lanceolate. In this state it is figured in the continuation of Wilson’s American Ornithology, by the P of M .
Length to end of tail 23 inches.
This remarkable bird has exercised the ingenuity of the systematizing ornithologists, some of whom have considered it as a Heron, others a Crane, while many have made it a Rail, and many more a genus apart, but allied to the Rails, or to the Herons or to both. It seems in truth to be a large Rail, with the wings and feet approaching in form to those of the Herons; but while frivolous disputes might be carried on ad libitum as to its location in the system of nature, were we merely to consider its exterior; it is fortunate that we possess a means of determining its character with certainty:—if we examine its digestive organs, we shall at once see if it be a Rail, or a Heron, or anything else. If a Heron, it will have a very wide œsophagus, a roundish, thin-walled stomach, very slender intestines, and a single short obtuse cœcum; if a Rail or Gallinule, or bird of that tribe, it will have a narrow mouth, a narrow œsophagus, a very muscular stomach, intestines of moderate width, and two moderately long, rather wide cœca. Here then are two specimens, shot in Florida, and preserved in spirits.
The first, which is found to be a female, has the mouth narrow, measuring only 7 twelfths across; the tongue very long and extremely slender, trigonal, pointed, extending to within half an inch of the tip of the lower mandible, being 3 7/12 inches in length. The œsophagus, a b c d, which is 12 inches long, is narrow in its whole length, its diameter at the upper part being 6 twelfths, below the middle of the neck 8 twelfths. The proventriculus, b c, is nearly 1 inch long, 9 twelfths in its greatest diameter, bulbiform; its glandules cylindrical, 1 1/2 twelfth long. Between the termination of the proventriculus, and the commencement of the stomach, the space, c d, is more elongated than usual, an inch and 2 twelfths, and presents the appearance of a tube curved toward the left in the form of the letter S. The circular fibres of this part are strong, and its epithelium is very thick, soft, and raised into twelve very prominent rounded longitudinal rugæ. The stomach, properly so called, d e f g is an
extremely powerful gizzard, of an orbicular form, compressed, with its axis a little inclined toward the right side, its length 1 inch and 9 twelfths, its breadth 1 inch and 8 twelfths, its thickness 11 twelfths. The left lateral muscle, d f, is much larger than the right, occupying nearly one-half of the organ; the muscles are thick, but not very remarkably so, their greatest thickness being 4 twelfths; the epithelium is very hard and rugous. The duodenum, g h i, curves in the usual manner, folding back upon itself at the distance of 3 inches. The intestine, g h i j k, is of moderate length, 31 inches, its greatest diameter 3 twelfths; the rectum, k l, 3 inches long, including the cloaca, l m, which is globular, 1 1/2 inch in diameter; the cœca, n n, of moderate size, 1 3/4 inch long, for nearly half their length 2 twelfths in diameter, in the rest of their extent from 4 to 6 twelfths, obtuse; their distance from the cloaca 10 twelfths.
The trachea, o p, is 10 inches long, narrow, of nearly uniform diameter, being narrowest in the upper third of its length, unless for three-fourths of an inch at the commencement. Its rings 186 in number, are ossified, and a little flattened. The contractor muscles are slender, as are the sterno-tracheal; and there is a single pair of inferior laryngeal. The bronchi, p q, are wide, tapering, of about 15 narrow cartilaginous half rings. The heart is of moderate size, 1 7/12 inch long, 1 inch in breadth. The liver is small, its lobes, which are equal, being 1 inch in length.
The other individual, a male, has the œsophagus 12 inches long; the distance from the proventriculus to the stomach 1 2/12 inch; the stomach 1 8/12 inch long, and the same in breadth; the cœca 2 inches long, the greatest diameter 5 twelfths; the intestine 32 1/2 inches in length, their greatest diameter 3 1/2 twelfths.
Now, in all this there is nothing indicative of any affinity to the Herons; the structure of the intestinal canal being essentially like that of the Coots, Gallinules, and Rails. Even the external parts sufficiently indicate its station, the bill; the plumage, and the colouring being more like these of the Rallinæ than of any other family
The Prince of M , who first described this bird as a Rail, Rallus giganteus, afterwards adopted for it V ’s genus Aramus, and considered it as belonging to the Ardeidæ, forming a connecting link with them and the Rallidæ and “aberrating somewhat towards the Scolopacidæ, as well as tending a little towards the Psophidæ, sub-family Gruinæ” and claiming “again a well-founded resemblance to the most typical form of the genus Rallus.” Finally, he reverts to his original idea, and places it at the head of the Rallidæ. Mr S refers it to the Tantalidæ, associating it with Anastomus, Tantalus, and Ibis, to which it certainly has very little affinity in any point of view.
The efficiency of the digestive organs as a means of determining affinities in cases of doubt, is happily illustrated in this instance; and any person who will make himself acquainted with them will easily discover numerous false associations in all systems founded on the external aspect alone.
HAWK OWL.
S , L .
PLATE CCCLXXVIII. M F .
It is always disagreeable to an author to come forward when he has little of importance to communicate to the reader, and on no occasion have I felt more keenly than on the present, when introducing to your notice an Owl, of which the habits, although unknown to me, must be highly interesting, as it seems to assimilate in some degree to the diurnal birds of prey. I have never seen it alive, and therefore can only repeat what has been said by one who has. Dr R gives the following account of it in the Fauna Boreali-Americana:—
“It is a common species throughout the Fur Countries from Hudson’s Bay to the Pacific, and is more frequently killed than any other by the hunters, which may be partly attributed to its boldness and its habit of flying about by day. In the summer season it feeds principally on mice and insects; but in the snow-clad regions which it frequents in the winter, neither of these are to be procured, and it then preys mostly on Ptarmigan. It is a constant attendant on the flocks of Ptarmigan in their spring migrations to the northward. It builds its nest on a tree, of sticks, grass, and feathers, and lays two white eggs. When the hunters are shooting Grouse, this bird is occasionally attracted by the report of the gun, and is often bold enough, on a bird being killed, to pounce down upon it, though it may
be unable from its size to carry it off. It is also known to hover round the fires made by the natives at night.”
I lately received a letter from my friend Dr T M. B of Boston, Massachusetts, in which he informs me that “the Hawk Owl is very common at Memphramagog Lake in Vermont, where as many as a dozen may be obtained by a good gunner in the course of a single day. Its nests in the hollow trees are also frequently met with.” It is surprising that none should have been seen by Mr N or Dr T , while crossing the Rocky Mountains, or on the Columbia River; especially as it has been found by my friend E H , Esq. as far southward on our eastern coast as New Jersey.
The specimens from which the figures in the plate were drawn, were given to me by T M , Esq. of Pictou, who had a good number of them. Two entire individuals preserved in spirits afford materials for the following descriptions.
S , Linn. Syst. Nat. vol. i. p. 133. Lath. Ind. Orn. vol. i. p. 62. Ch. Bonaparte, Synopsis of Birds of United States, p. 35.
H O , S , Wils. Amer. Ornith. vol. vi. p. 64, pl. 50, fig. 6.
S , A H O , Richards and Swains Fauna BorAmer vol ii p 92
H O , Nuttall, Manual, vol. i. p. 115.
Adult Male. Plate CCCLXXVIII. Fig. 1.
Bill short, strong, higher than broad; upper mandible with the dorsal line declinate and decurvate, the ridge convex, the sides convex toward the end, the edges nearly straight until toward the end, the tip decurvate, trigonal, acute; the cere covered with stiff bristly feathers directed forwards; lower mandible with the angle very wide, the dorsal outline convex, the ridge broad and convex, the sides convex,
the edges sharp toward the end, the tip obtuse, thin-edged. Nostrils roundish, in the fore part of the cere, concealed by the feathers.
Head very large, roundish, convex above. Eyes very large. Neck very short; body of moderate size. Legs very short, robust; tarsus very short, feathered, as are the toes, of which the outer is reversible; claws long, stout, compressed, tapering to a very acute point, that of third toe with the inner edge considerably dilated.
Plumage full, very soft, blended; the cere covered with slender stiffish reversed feathers, having their filaments disunited; the facial disks incomplete above. Wings rather long, rounded; the third primary longest, the fourth one-twelfth and a half shorter, the second four and a half twelfths shorter than the third, the first intermediate between the fifth and sixth; the first four cut out on the outer web towards the end, the barbs on the greater part of the outer web of the first, and the terminal portion of the second, thickened, and a little separated, but not recurved; the secondaries of moderate length, rounded. Tail rather long, much rounded, of twelve rather broad rounded feathers, of which the lateral are two inches shorter than the middle.
Bill pale yellow; iris bright yellow; claws dusky. The facial disk is greyish-white, the shafts black, at its anterior part intermixed with black filaments. The upper part of the head brownish-black, closely spotted with white, there being generally three roundish spots on each feather. The hind part of the neck is brownish-black, with two broad longitudinal bands of white spots; a semicircle of brownishblack feathers margins the facial disk behind. The general colour of the upper parts is chocolate-brown, becoming lighter behind; all the feathers marked with white spots in pairs, larger and more conspicuous on the scapulars, disposed in bars on the rump and upper tail-coverts. On both webs of the quills are several transversely elliptical white spots, the outer webs of the first two and five inner primaries excepted; the tips of all brownish-white. The tail
is marked with about eight transverse bars of white, formed by narrow oblong alternating spots on both webs, the feathers also tipped with white, the throat is greyish-dusky, that colour being succeeded by a semi-circular band of white, beneath which is an obscure brownish-black band; the rest of the lower parts transversely barred with dusky and white; the dark bars of a deeper tint anteriorly, approaching to chestnut on the sides and legs, fainter on the abdomen and feet, and greyish-brown on the lower tail-coverts.
Length to end of tail 15 3/4 inches, to end of wings 12 1/2, to end of claws 11 1/2, to carpal joint 3 3/8; extent of wings 31 1/2; wing from flexure 9 8/12; tail 7 1/2; bill along the ridge 1 2/12, along the edge of lower mandible 1; tarsus 1; hind toe 3/12, its claw 10 1/2/12; middle toe 10/12, its claw 10/12; inner toe 8 1/2/12, its claw 11/12; outer toe 6/12, its claw 10/12.
Adult Female. Plate CCCLXXVIII. Fig. 2.
The Female is somewhat larger, and resembles the male, but is of a lighter tint, especially on the wings and tail, where the white markings are smaller and less decided.
Length to end of tail 17 1/2 inches.
An adult male, presented by T M. B , Esq. of Boston, and preserved in spirits.
Fig. 1.
Fig 2
The palate is concave, with two longitudinal, parallel, papillate ridges. The posterior aperture of the nares is lanceolate, with an anterior fissure, the space between which and the lateral ridge is papillate. The tongue is short, fleshy, deeply emarginate and papillate at the base, rounded and notched at the end; its length 7 1/2 twelfths, its breadth 3 1/4 twelfths. The mouth is very wide, measuring 1 inch 1 twelfth across. The œsophagus, a b c, which is 4 3/4 inches in length, is of nearly uniform diameter, its greatest breadth being 11 twelfths, and at its entrance into the thorax 10 twelfths. Its walls are extremely thin; but its longitudinal and transverse muscular fibres are distinctly seen. The proventricular glandules are very large and cylindrical, forming a belt, b c, 1 inch 1 twelfth in breadth. The stomach, c d e, is of moderate size, roundish, 1 inch 5 twelfths long, 1 inch 1 1/2 twelfth broad; its walls very thin, the muscular coat being composed of slender fasciculi converging toward two roundish tendinous spaces; the inner coat or epithelium very soft and rugous, but partially dissolved by the gastric juice. The
pylorus has a semilunar margin, but is otherwise destitute of valve. The contents of the stomach are tufts of reddish hair, resembling that of some hare. The duodenum, e f g, which is 3 1/2 twelfths in diameter, curves backwards and upwards, running across to the left side, and returning upon itself opposite the fifth rib; it then proceeds to the right side under the liver, receives the biliary ducts, passes behind and above the stomach, and forms three folds, terminating in the rectum, which is laterally curved, and ends in a globular cloaca, j k, 10 twelfths in diameter. The entire length of the intestine, e f g h k, is 18 inches, its diameter from 4 twelfths to 1 1/2 twelfth. The rectum is 2 inches long. The cœca, Fig. 2, a b, a b, are 2 1/4 inches in length, for 1 inch and 2 twelfths very narrow, their diameter varying from 1 to 2 twelfths, their greatest diameter 4 twelfths, their extremity blunt.
3
The aperture of the ear, Fig. 3, although very large, is inferior to that of many Owls of similar size. It is of an elliptical form, 5 twelfths in its greatest diameter, and 4 twelfths across.
The trachea is 3 inches long, flattened, its diameter nearly uniform, averaging 2 twelfths; the rings moderately firm, 74 in number. The bronchi are long, slender, of about 20 very slender cartilaginous half rings. The contractor muscles are moderate, as are the sternotracheal. There is a single pair of flat inferior laryngeal muscles, going to the first and second bronchial rings.
Fig
RUFF-NECKED HUMMING BIRD.
T , G .
PLATE CCCLXXIX. M F .
This charming Humming Bird was discovered by the great navigator, Captain Cook, who found it abundant at Nootka Sound. It does not appear to have been seen by Dr R or Mr D in the northern parts of America, traversed by those most zealous and highly talented naturalists. As no account has hitherto been given of its habits, the following notices from my friends Mr N and Dr T , will, I doubt not, prove highly interesting.
“We began,” says the first of-these enterprising travellers, “to meet with this species near the Blue Mountains of the Columbia River, in the autumn, as we proceeded to the west. These were all young birds, and were not very easily distinguished from those of the common species of the same age. We now for the first time (April 16.) saw the males in numbers, darting, burring, and squeaking in the usual manner of their tribe; but when engaged in collecting its accustomed sweets in all the energy of life, it seemed like a breathing gem, or magic carbuncle of glowing fire, stretching out its gorgeous ruff, as if to emulate the sun itself in splendour. Towards the close of May, the females were sitting, at which time the males were uncommonly quarrelsome and vigilant, darting out at me as I approached the tree probably near the nest, looking like an angry coal of brilliant fire, passing within very little of my face, returning
several times to the attack, sinking and darting with the utmost velocity, at the same time uttering a curious reverberating sharp bleat, somewhat similar to the quivering twang of a dead twig, yet also so much like the real bleat of some small quadruped, that for some time I searched the ground instead of the air, for the actor in the scene. At other times, the males were seen darting up high in the air, and whirling about each other in great anger, and with much velocity. After these manœuvres the aggressor returned to the same dead twig, where for days he regularly took his station with all the courage and angry vigilance of a King-bird. The angry hissing or bleating note of this species seems something like wht’t’t’t’t sh vee, tremulously uttered as it whirls and sweeps through the air, like a musket-ball, accompanied also by something like the whirr of the Night Hawk. On the 29th of May, I found a nest of this species in a forked branch of the Nootka Bramble, Rubus Nutkanus. The female was sitting on two eggs, of the same shape and colour as those of the common species. The nest also was perfectly similar, but somewhat deeper. As I approached, the female came hovering round the nest, and soon after, when all was still, she resumed her place contentedly.”
Dr T ’s note is as follows:—“Nootka Sound Humming Bird, Trochilus rufus, Ah-puets-Rinne of the Chinooks. On a clear day the male may be seen to rise to a great height in the air, and descend instantly near the earth, then mount again to the same altitude as at first, performing in the evolution the half of a large circle. During the descent it emits a strange and astonishingly loud note, which can be compared to nothing but the rubbing together of the limbs of trees during a high wind. I heard this singular note repeatedly last spring and summer, but did not then discover to what it belonged. I did not suppose it to be a bird at all, and least of all a Humming Bird. The observer thinks it almost impossible that so small a creature can be
