Chapter 1
Kendrick
One MonthBefore Ascension
“Willow says an Alpha Council Enforcer is in your office,” Jackson said. He leaned on the doorway to my old bedroom. I could see the disapproval in his face. His eyes scanned the room before returning to my face, “You moping again?”
He never understood my grief about Aster. To him, she was just an impulsive decision that went horribly awry. How could he possibly understand all I lost in two short years. His mate was downstairs cooking in the kitchen for the pack meeting tonight. Mine mated a rogue back in June.
Memories of the only night I held Aster in my arms in this very room flooded me again. Standing in my old bedroom was more torture than the whip. I turned back to my best friend. He shifted his weight from foot to foot in an uncharacteristic display of unease.
“Did he say why he was here?” I asked.
Jackson shook his head, “Just that he had a message from the Alpha Council that he would only deliver to you.”
“Tell him I’ll be right down,” I said. Jackson nodded and left me alone. I took a deep breath and allowed myself one last look at the room. The ghost of Aster and would likely always linger, even though her scent was long gone. How could Aster choose a rogue over me? We were made for each other, born to rule this pack. Now I had to rule alone.
I made my way downstairs to my office. Jackson paced outside the closed door. When he saw me, he twitched, “It’s The Beast, man,” he whispered, “The Council sent the Goddess damned Beast.”
Despite Jackson’s obvious fear, I doubted the legendary Beast of Barrow was as scary as the tales described. No wolf in human form stood as tall as a building; no wolf was the size of a horse. It was an old wives tale to scare Alpha wolves into behaving.
The Beast of Barrow legends could fill a book. A creature so evil, he had to be reborn every few generations to cull the wolf packs of unworthy blood lines. My father said it was all bullshit. The Alpha Council just called up the scariest looking non-Alpha and gave him the title of Beast. For all his faults, the late Alpha Biel was fearless, and to live up to the name, I couldn’t jump at fairytales.
I opened the office door to see the largest man I’ve ever seen sitting in my chair, dwarfing the massive oak desk.
“Alpha Biel is dead,” the wolf’s voice rumbled, filling the space with a menacing baritone.
I nodded, “I’m his son, Kendrick. I am scheduled to Ascend to Alpha at the Autumnal Equinox.”
“Shall we begin?” The Beast asked. He leaned back in the gaudy red leather chair, “Or will your Beta be joining us?”
I closed the door behind me and took a seat in Beta Lorde’s usual chair, I didn’t like being in a submissive position to this stranger. But respect went a long way in Alpha Council dealings. Until my position was secure, I couldn’t afford to slight their representatives, “You have a message for me?”
“Now now, presumedAlpha,” The Beast mocked, “Patience. I have lots of things to discuss with you.”
“Then let’s get started,” I said. I leaned back in my chair in a casual a show of relaxation. The Beast probably knew it was an act, but it was necessary. An Alpha couldn’t show fear, and an Alpha couldn’t show weakness.
“There are reports that you kidnapped an exiled pack member, a year and a half or so,” he said steepling his fingers in front of his sunglass covered face.
“Her exile was due to her unshifted status,” I replied, using the rehearsed story, “It was within my father’s rights to send me to collect her when we learned she was not unshifted.”
The Beast’s meaty fingers moved to my keyboard, I started to get nervous. I doubted the monster could navigate my privacy settings, but that wasn’t a guarantee. His hand moved to the mouse and he started clicking, “Tell me, Alpha, do you make it a habit of hiring private investigators to follow all unshifted exiles?”
My heart started to race, despite my years of training, there was no hiding the anxiety this conversation was awakening in me. The Beast continued to click before he turned the monitor around so we could both see what he was looking out.
My stomach dropped. Clicka photo of Aster taking an order at the Tooth and Claw, click,a photo of a teenage Aster leaving class at the college, clicka photo of Aster volunteering at a town festival. My heart raced as the images flew faster and faster.
I gulped, trying to gain control of the conversation, “Aster was the only one in recent memory. Typically, our unshifted are claimed as mates before they come of age. For our own peace of mind, we wanted to make sure she was alright.”
The Beast nodded, “And Aster had no Moon Blessed mate, correct?”
“Correct,” I managed to force the word from my throat.
“Interesting,” The Beast mused, clicking through a few more pictures. He reached a photo of Aster taken a few years ago, removing her clothes before a shift. He found my secret folder. The private investigator I hired during my senior year of college had been one of the best investments at the time. Now, knowing that the Beast of Barrow was seeing my private stash of Aster, made me sick. Most photos in this folder were of the denuding nature. The longer he clicked through, the thicker the scent of arousal permeated the office, from him, or me, I didn’t know.
“And you still have not found your own Moon Blessed mate, correct?” The Beast asked continuing to click through.
“Correct,” I agreed. My eyes were trained on the photos. The last time I tortured myself with the images was weeks ago. Each time I dared look at them, new scars opened. My wolf pawed against my skin. He wanted to touch the woman on the screen, he
still didn’t fully understand photography when he watched the world through my eyes.
“I’m not sure if I should pity you, or be jealous,” the Beast said. With a click, he ended the glimpse into Aster’s life. My wolf whined at the loss, “I had a mate, best three days of my life. Then she went back to her pack, and they killed her.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, dragging my eyes away from the monitor’s blue background to look at the Beast. His large dark sunglasses mirrored my own face back at me, completely obscuring his eyes. The legends said that the Beast could kill your inner wolf with just a glance, killing you in the process. He probably wore the glasses to cultivate the legend.
“I was told you had a message for me?” I asked, bringing the conversation back to the start, “Or are you going to ask more questions about Aster? I didn’t think rogue wolves were Council business.”
“A dissolved mating of an Alpha wolf is always Council business, particularly when said Alpha is not Moon Blessed. Or do you have a succession plan in place?”
“Succession?” I asked.
The Beast nodded, “It is Council law that no wolf can Ascend to Alpha mateless.”
“But I-”
“Have no mate,” The Beast painfully reminded me, “The Council was already concerned about a chosen mate Ascension. They will not allow a mateless Ascension. There are rumors in your pack that you had a Moon Blessed mate who disappeared. It is my duty to validate such claims...”
I shook my head, “Those are just rumors.”
“That so?” The Beast leaned forward across my desk, “Then I’m sure you’re prepared to let another Alpha wolf Ascend over the Equinox.”
I growled. This was my pack. I was not giving it up that easily, and I said as such.
“Better hope your Moon Blessed mate magically appears in the next,” he looks at his bare wrist, as if he had a watch, “three and
a half weeks. Or I will be back. And I will take particular joy in bringing down the House of Biel.”
The Beast stood from behind my desk. He was not as tall as legends stated, but there was no way he was under seven feet tall.
“I’ll be watching you,” The Beast said as he walked out of the office.
The door shut with an echoing thud.
I rushed to the computer. The Beast deleted my Aster folder and cleared the recycling. I searched for hours but they were gone. They couldn’t be gone. It was all I had of Aster. My hand flew to my chest where for years I carried her claw. But that was gone now, she made me give it to her.
My calendar app beeped. I had the weekly pack meeting in an hour. I needed to get myself together before then. This pack needed a Biel as Alpha. Since its founding in the 1870’s Kootenai was ruled by an Alpha Biel. Without me, the pack would be destroyed.
I looked out over my pack. With Labor Day weekend rapidly approaching, all the pups were getting ready to start school. I needed to make sure this pack meeting was short. Elder Ursine sat with the rest of the Elder Council. Their preparations for the Fall Equinox celebrations were well in hand. If Aster had stayed around, she’d be in charge, but as I have no Alpha Female, the Elder Council had taken those duties.
I looked down at my agenda, no new shift or mating claims, not too much of a surprise, most first shifts happen in the Winter and Spring. Soon though, the pack would be flooded with young whelps ready and eager to take on the woods.
The pack was getting restless. All eyes watched me. They waited for me to start the meeting. Kyla and Marcus each held a newborn in their arms. Twins. My heart ached. The pups had been born early, too early, but thrived under Kyla’s careful watch. This was the first time they were out with the pack.
“Welcome Kootenai Pack,” I said, “We’ll keep the meeting brief today, I have no official announcements except to welcome the
Michaels’ twins, Riley and Mason. Elder Ursine, how are the Equinox preparations coming along?”
The oldest of the Elders stood from his chair and hobbled up to the microphone. I took a step back, remaining standing.
“It’s coming along fine,” he said before bowing his ancient head and tottering back to his seat.
A nod would have sufficed, but such is the nature of pack business.
“Any other business?” I asked over the crowd. No hands raised, “Alright, then, remember while it is not yet hunting season, poachers are a real threat. If you choose to run, run inside the boundaries set by the Sentinels. Sentinel Marquis, if you would provide the land updates.”
The meeting continued and I had to keep my face focused, so it wasn’t apparent that I was bored. Finally, it was over, and we could start the pack meal. Despite the failure of my mating, I learned a lot from the brief time Aster was mine.
“Alright we’ll conclude the meeting here. Meal order today will be-,” I drew a slip of paper from the meal suggestion box the pack children filled out during shifter school every Sunday, “First shifts going backwards in time. So, Nelson,” our most recent new whelp, “Your family will start the line.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as everyone filed out. Randomizing the meal order kept the pack from getting too anxious over meal orders. Sometimes you ate first, sometimes you ate last, the only major change was that there was always food. It took two- or threemonthly meetings, but Willow and the shewolves figured it out.
“Alpha,” Elder Ursine said walking up to me, “the Elder Council requires a word with you.”
I nodded, “Speak freely.”
“With the divorce finalized, and Aster’s remating,” the Elder did not soften his blows, “you will need to relinquish your Alpha status unless you find your Moon Blessed mate before the Equinox”
“I know,” I growled, “I don’t know how the Council expects me to find a mate in three weeks when I haven’t been able to find her in 17 years?”
I had found her, but as Elder Ursine so rudely reminded me, she remated. To a rogue. My wolf riled at my skin. After the Beast’s visit, my wolf’s eternal desire to race back to Easterville and drag Aster back to him, intensified... But that hadn’t worked the first time. If I tried it now, I’d have a whole pack of rogues, a grizzly bear, and a town full of Aster devotees to contend with.
“I’m sorry son,” Elder Ursine said, “This is not our choice, it is the ruling of the Alpha Council.”
A growl escaped my throat, “What do you suggest I do?”
“Go find her,” Elder Ursine said, “Take the lawyer and an Enforcer, and do not return unless you find her.”
Kendrick
Three weeks Before Ascension
“I think I found her,” Owen said, closing the office door behind him.
“Found who?” I asked bitterly. I looked at Owen and couldn’t keep my eyes from finding the calendar that hung behind his head. It had been one week since the Elders informed me of my deadline. I had two weeks to find a loophole in the laws that would allow me to keep my pack mateless.
“Your Moon Blessed mate,” Owen said with an unnaturally smug smile.
“There’s no way in hell...” I started to say but choked on her name.
“Not Aster,” Owen jumped in. He pulled up one of the hideous plush chairs in the Alpha office and leaned over my desk, so we were almost nose to nose, “Remember that a shewolf in Tennessee, I mentioned a few months back?”
I didn’t.
“She would be perfect for you,” Owen continued. And he would continue unless I stopped him. I held up a hand before he blabbered on.
“The only shewolves without Moon Blessed mates are widows or children,” I growl, “No one on this planet is going to believe the Moon Goddess blessed me with a child.”
“Correct,” Owen said, he pulled out his phone and held up the image in front of me.
The girl couldn’t have been more than fifteen years old; I forced his hand and the phone in it away from my face, “I just said I wasn’t mating a child. There are very few things I wouldn’t do to keep this pack, but I’m not-”
“The picture is over ten years old,” Owen said, “Didn’t you see her eyes?”
I hadn’t looked closely at the image, “What about them?” not that it mattered, no eyes could compare to Aster’s emerald beauties.
“Ghost Eyes,” Owen said with far more gravitas than the nonsense words deserved, “Moon cursed. She doesn’t have a Moon Blessed mate, will never have a Moon Blessed mate.”
“If everyone knowsshe doesn’t have a Moon Blessed-”
“That’s the best part-” Owen said interrupting me, “All the people that believe in the curse are loonies. The poor girl has been living feral since her first shift. I would bet my house that she would be willing to pretend to be your Moon Blessed mate for a chance at a normal life.”
“This is...”
“It’s perfect,” Owen said, “It’s a win-win. You get a mate; she gets a normal life. Their pack gets rid of the feral wolf in the woods, our pack gets to keep our Alpha.”
“No one’s going to believe it,” I remark again, “I’ve done visits, Moon Blessing visits, to every pack in the country. There’s no way I wouldn’t have claimed-”
“Again, it’s perfect because,” Owen tapped his hands on my desk giving himself a drum roll, “First of all, she’s never gone to a mating event. Second, her wolf disappeared from pack grounds ten years ago and mysteriously reappeared almost eighteen months later.”
“But I’ve still been to all the packs in Tennessee.”
“But, your last visit to the Great Smoky pack was, get this, nine years ago,” Owen said with a broad smile, “The two of you have never been in claiming range of each other. What you two have is the perfect storm of a tragically delayed Moon Blessing.”
“Let me think about it,” I told him.
“I’m going to tell them you said yes,” Owen said, already texting on his phone, “I can back out of the deal if you figure something better before the deadline. Which you won’t.”
“Don’t do that,” I said reaching to get the phone out of his hand, “you’ll get the poor girl’s hopes up.”
Owen pulled his phone out of reach, “Poor girl?” he asked with a smirk, “See? You love her already. Besides, she’s been feral for ten years, it might take two weeks to teach her how to take a bath again.”
“Goddess help me,” I groan. My temples pulsed as another blistering headache prepared to assault me. One good night's sleep was all I needed. Too bad I hadn’t had one since my first shift.
Kendrick
Sixteen Years Before Ascension
Anger filled my body and reddened my face. No matter how much I tried to calm my blooming rage, it kept blooming up with every word spoken. My parents sat at opposite ends of the massive table talking about me like I wasn’t in the room, as usual. Mom’s mass of curly blonde hair bobbed as she threw her hands animatedly in the argument. My father remained motionless, a statue of contained fury. His mouth was a firm line, barely moving as he rebuffed her claims. The only indication of his displeasure was the occasional growl that sounded from deep in his chest.
Tonight’s debate was about where I would spend the summer. As future Alpha, I spent my school breaks at other packs. Over Christmas break I’d be in Boston, over Spring break, I’d be in Maine,
they still hadn’t decided where I’d go for the summer. Supposedly it was to learn how to be a leader. In reality, I think they just liked getting rid of me. Mom wanted me to go out East this summer. Dad wanted me to go overseas.
“He’s thirteen,” mom argued, “That’s way too young to travel that far alone!”
“He’s thirteen,” my dad countered, “he’s too old to be coddled by his mother.”
“He’s thirteen!” I shouted mocking their tones, “He wants to spend the summers with his friends.”
Both my parents stopped talking and glared at me. I just committed a mortal sin for the Biel household. I talked out of turn. I’d talked disrespectfully to the Alpha. I sighed, I was already going to be punished, might as well earn it, “Jackson doesn’t have to go anywhere over summer break. He and Dale go fishing in the lake and swim and have fun. I never get to have any fun. You’re the worst parents in the world.”
I slammed my fork down on the table. My father growled. I knew what his next words were going to be, but I was so sick of them running my life. Of ruining my life. I held up my hand in the way he had done to every wolf I’d seen come into our home, “Save it, I’ll send myself downstairs.”
I marched bravely to the stairwell. The closer I got to the basement the more my anger induced bravado disappeared and the anxiety of what would happen next washed over me. Ugh they were really angry this time. How many lashes would it be? 5? 10? I walked past the wall of my mother’s whips which she made me maintain. It was my least favorite chore. The scent of blood mixed with the leather polish in a way that was wholly unnatural. Just thinking about it made my stomach turn.
I took off my shirt and walked into the room. There stood the family whipping post. How many nights had I spent tied to this one, and before it, the smaller one mocking me in the corner? I heard my father’s footsteps as he made his way behind me. I took a deep breath, what was one more night? It was inevitable in the Biel family.
“This behavior of yours needs to stop,” he growled looking at his own wall of whips, unlike my mother, my father preferred cat o nine tail whips. Today he picked the one with six silver tips. Fewer lashes but more damage. The silver wasn’t poisonous to our kind, but dad liked the fear silver still induced in the pack due to the human legends.
I felt my pulse pick up. I hated the whip he chose. I couldn’t show fear. I knew he could smell it, but I needed to not show it. I kneeled before the post and put my arms around it. The innate reaction to pull away from the pole had long since left me. I could hold myself against the pole as long as they made me.
I gripped it tight. The first crack came with six quick stings. I refused to cry out. Normally dad told me the number I’d have to endure before punishment began. He didn’t this time. He just started cracking.
I lost count after 30. I started counting again and lost count after another 15. I didn’t think dad was counting. He kept hitting and hitting. My arms felt weak, I long since lost feeling in them. Was it possible to die from punishment?
If I died, would anyone care? Would anyone notice I was gone?
Finally, it stopped. I collapsed on the floor. My face was sticky with sweat and the floor was sticky with drying blood. How long had we gone through this?
“Throw those pants in the fire before you go to bed,” my father growled, the whip clattered to the ground, “And clean the flogger.”
He left the room. I willed my muscles to move. To do anything, besides hurt. Everything hurt. My legs burned, it felt like my bones were breaking. I felt my hips pop, I didn’t understand. Had he whipped my legs too? Then my arms started to hurt.
Was I dying?
My shoulders popped forward. I managed to keep my eyes open long enough to see thick black hair growing from my skin. More pain overtook me as every bone in my body reshaped, my skin stretched and pulled, the organs in my body shifted inside of me.
The terror of uncertainty was replaced as I opened my eyes again. The room was completely different than it had been before. Every smell was heightened. The copper scent of my blood overwhelmed the leather and the faint scent of my father. Was this what the afterlife was like? I took a careful step forward and slid on unsteady paws.
Paws. I had paws. I wasn’t dead. I shifted.
I gave up trying to get out of the whipping room and found a corner to sleep in. My fur was matted with blood from my failed attempts to stand on four paws in the puddle. Instinct told me to clean my fur, so predators didn’t smell it. But I wasn’t ready for that part of wolf life. When I shifted back to human form I would shower like a real boy.
My mother found me in the morning still in wolf form. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw me, and she squealed in delight. My father came running downstairs to see what had caused the sound from mom. He beamed with pride.
“Look at that handsome wolf,” mom said, “Our son shifted!” her curly hair bounced as she jumped in my dad’s arms.
“He still needs to get to school,” dad grumbled, setting his mate down he walked over and crouched in front of my wolf. A small lift to the left corner of his mouth was the only indication he might be pleased with my change. His hollow yellow eyes bored into my own. Power suffused the room raising my wolf’s hackles, dad leaned forward and said one word, “Shift.”
The power in the room flowed into my body at his command. I was powerless to resist. Every shifter knew that there was power in an Alpha’s voice, but I’d never felt it firsthand. It was terrifying, it was compelling, I was at the mercy of my father in a more primal way than ever before. Within seconds I was back in human form, sticky with blood.
“Go get showered and dressed for school,” he instructed.
“Ok, dad,” I said, moving to walk passed him.
He grabbed my arm, “You’re a wolf now. I’m your Alpha. Call me by my title, same with your mother. I’ll forget the disrespect, this time.”
His voice rendered straight through to my spine. goosebumps covered my arms and legs. Every thought of this man as my father was gone. He was no longer dad. He was Alpha Biel, now and forever.
“Yes, Alpha, thank you, Alpha” I amended and trudged up the stairs, exhausted. I fell asleep standing in the shower.
My mother, ahemMama Biel finally got me out of the shower and into clothes. It was nearly lunch time.
“Can I please just miss school today?” I pleaded, “I’m so tired, and hungry.”
“Who knows, maybe you’ll even find your mate today, won’t that be exciting?” she said, continuing a conversation I didn’t realize we were having. There was no hope of not going to school today. Mama Biel decided.
Her words translated through to my tired brain and a new wave of panic ran through me, she said mate. Oh Goddess, I hadn’t even thought of that. I was thirteen, I just wanted to hang out with my friends. I didn’t want a mate.
She took pity on me and took me for lunch at the diner, Bark About It. Mama Biel ordered me the Sentinel special. It wasn’t on the menu, but it was something pack wolves ate after they patrolled.
“You’re one of us now, dear,” Mama Biel told me, sipping her coffee. When Peggy Jensen, a shewolf who worked at Bark About It so long she was practically a part of the furniture, popped by the table with the first plate of food and she eyed me suspiciously.
“Ricky shifted last night,” Mama Biel gloated she told every wolf we passed about my shift, “He’s only thirteen, can you believe it?”
smiled at me, “That’s wonderful. Your wolf will make a strong Alpha for us. I’ll bring you another juice.”
I started eating the plates of sausage, kielbasa, and bacon. The new presence inside of me wanted more meat. He wanted it
fresher. He wanted it raw.
“We’ll take you out with us hunting this weekend,” Reggie Nelson, one of dad’s Enforcers, patted me on the back. More Enforcers joined in the congratulations, I didn’t pay attention to who they were, I was too hungry.
Mama Biel pushed her plate of kielbasa to me and I devoured it. In my entire life, she had never looked so proud of me. I didn’t do anything special. I didn’t even mean to do it. It just happened.
I finished all the food on the table and Mama Biel insisted we needed to go to school now. I wanted anything but to go to school. Especially for just half the day. Everyone would want to know where I’d been, and I couldn’t tell them.
She pulled into the parking lot, “Oh, Ricky, it won’t be so bad.”
The name grated against my ears, “Don’t call me Ricky,” I growled.
She smirked, “What should I call you then? Kenny?”
“My name, call me Kendrick.”
“Oh ok,” she was laughing at me. It only made me angrier.
“Can’t we just go home, Christmas break is next week, just tell them you sent me to Boston early?” I begged. I didn’t want to be in school. I didn’t want to see them. I didn’t want anyone to know.
“Come on now Rick- Kendrick,” at least she was trying, “They already saw you. I’ll talk to the principal. If you get overwhelmed, you can go to the nurse.”
“Alpha Biel won’t approve,” I growled. Going to the nurse would be a sign of weakness. I couldn’t show weakness.
“What dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him, not today,” she was opening her car door bidding me to do the same, she leaned back in the car and pushed me out the other side.
“Fine,” I grumbled.
I could hear the kids on the playground. Everyone not in high school ran around the playground. It was a zoo. They would all see me walking into school with my mom. It was mortifying.
Jackson and Dale shouted my name from where they were playing on the jungle gym. I didn’t look at them. They wouldn’t understand. How could they? Mama Biel pushed me to walk faster and I lifted my eyes and stared into the most beautiful set of pale green eyes I had ever seen. The wolf inside of me wanted to howl. I felt like I was being pulled by an invisible leash. It wanted to be closer to her.
“He shifted,” the perfect creature whispered to her friend. She knew what had happened to me. I had to look away. I needed to stop staring. When I made it into the building, I thought I was going to barf. My wolf whined outwardly this time.
“What’s going on Kendrick?”
I looked at her and she smiled down at me with pity, “Which one was it?”
My eyebrows twitched. Damn it which one was she? I only saw her gorgeous green eyes. What was her name?
“Try to keep your wolf in your skin, Romeo,” she said patting my shoulders leading me toward the principal's office. I wanted to go back to the playground. I wanted to find her. To know everything about her. I already knew the most important thing, whoever she was, she was mine. Mine.
Chapter 2
Jen
Three weeks Before Ascension
“Mate?” I repeated my question. They still did not answer me.
“We’ll talk about it when we’re out of the rain,” Mama assured me, “Come inside.”
I followed. The others kept their distance from me, but still had me surrounded. A bubble of wolves. A cage, a trap.
Insidewas foreign, four walls, doors, windows, artificial heat. I was given a man’s t shirt and a pair of drawstring shorts to wear. The clothing felt heavy against my skin. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d worn clothes.
I sat on a couch. Everyone else stood against the walls, as far as physically possible from Ghost Eyes.
“Do you remember me?” the confident male voice belonged to a younger man, still older than me by several years, but nowhere near as old as the rest of the men around the room. He held a pregnant blonde woman close under his arms. His mate, the woman looked so familiar, I inhaled, and memories flooded into me. Memories of giggling girls and painted toenails. The memories tied to the scent weren’t of a blonde woman, they were of my sister.
I stared at him, not ready to answer. To answer was to admit I knew who they were. To admit the pain, I had caused to him and my sister. I lived with the guilt of my curse every day; I didn’t relish having to relive the reason for my exile.
“I’m Michael Newaters, Alpha Newaters son?” he offered. His eyes were concerned but kind. The Newaters from my memory hadn’t been concerned for me. I was immediately suspicious.
“Alpha Newaters,” I remembered Alpha Newaters, he was the Alpha who exiled me after my curse, “but you’re not him. Alpha
Newaters was older than Mama.”
“I’m his son, I’m Alpha now,” Michael-Alpha Newaters said, he held the blonde woman closer to him, “This is my mate, Mariah... your sister. Do you remember her?”
“Mariah’s not blonde,” I stated bluntly. I knew it was Mariah. I was feral, not stupid. I only saw her once after my first shift, but even a feral wolf remembered her family.
“I dyed it,” Mariah replied. Her voice sounded familiar, but still scared. The scent of her terror filled the room, obscuring the scents of the rest of the strangers. I had likely known all of them once, but it was before my world shifted. My memories of faces weren’t as good as my memories of smells, and if I didn’t meet them after my first shift, I had no idea who they were.
These wolves talked to me as if I was stupid. They must believe that a cursed wolf couldn’t hold a conversation. I probably could, I read enough stolen books to remember how they were supposed to go. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk to these wolves though.
“Are you afraid of me?” I asked Mariah. The words came out harsh. Even in human form, my wolf was unwilling to let me show the vulnerability I felt. I didn’t want her to be afraid of me. I wanted my sister. I wanted my family. On my mountain, I was able to forget, but I couldn’t here, surrounded by the scents of pack. A pack I never got to have. A pack I couldn’t allow myself to crave. The life I so desperately wanted.
Mariah looked away and didn’t answer, and her smell said it all; she was terrified.
“Leave your sister be,” Mama scolded me, “She’s got a pup in the belly and you know she doesn’t handle stress well.”
I turned my attention to Mama and waited. She lured my wolf from our forest den weeks ahead of schedule. Now I was being teased with a mate and no one was giving me answers. My wolf raged inside of me. They weren’t here to give me a mate, this was a trick. We were cornered, we weren’t safe. I dug my nails into my palms to focus on something other than my wolf. If there was even the smallest chance that this was real, I couldn’t be feral.
“We have heard of a pack Alpha searching for a mate,” Alpha Newaters spoke, taking my attention back over to him and my quivering sister, “With your permission, we’d like to present you as an option.”
The fear of being cornered was gone, replaced with curiosity. A pack Alpha? My wolf’s curiosity was piqued. “What’s wrong with him?” I blurt out. I may be nearly feral, but I grew up in the pack, I knew you couldn’t ascend to Alpha status without a mate. Unmated shewolves and widows would line up around the block to mate an Alpha.
“Nothing’s wrong with him, Jen,” Mama scolded, “he needs a mate, a female with no Moon Blessed mate to be his Alpha Female and bear his pups. Do you want a mate or not?”
“I want a mate,” I admitted.
“What was that?” Mama asked, “I raised you better than to mumble.”
“I want a mate,” I told her.
“Excellent,” Alpha Newaters said, “go get cleaned up, tomorrow we’ll reintegrate you into society and get you ready to meet your mate.”
Over the next two weeks I worked very hard to learn to be human. I had to relearn how to write, use flatware, and shower. Most notably, I learned to drive a car and got my license. Most wolves did this as teenagers.
All the while, everyone stayed as far away from me as possible. No one touched me unless it was absolutely necessary. They kept conversation to a minimum. I couldn't blame them; stories of my curse were spread far and wide. The wolves who helped me become human again were sacrificing their safety to rid the pack of the cursed Ghost Eyes.
I couldn’t focus on them; they were my old pack. I couldn’t allow myself to get distracted by the wolves. If I wanted a mate, I needed to be human. I didn’t want to be alone anymore, and I would do whatever it took to make it happen.
Elevenyears Before Ascension
More pain than I ever knew was possible coursed through every inch of my body. Every joint hurt. Every muscle burned. Every pore stretched.
But I didn’t care.
I was changing.
This is the moment I’ve waited for fifteen years.
That didn’t make it any less torturous. The fur sprouted slowly, like ants crawling from my toes to the tip of my head.
Grey fur, I noted with disappointment.
So far, the other females of my generation were a swath of colors. Margo was a copper red, Elise was black as midnight, and Charlene was pale as snow. My wolf was grey, figures.
The rest of the change happened an hour in an instant and I was overtaken by my wolf. She threw her head back and bayed at the moonless sky before taking total control of the body, sending me into a dreamless sleep.
I woke up in my front yard, covered in twigs, dirt, and dried blood.
“Moons, I hope it’s not mine,” I muttered to myself, brushing off the flaking mud and dried blood off my thighs. Most of the blood was down my inner thighs and on my neck. I thought nothing of it, it didn’t really matter one way or another. What mattered was that I had a wolf.
“Oh, moons above,” Mama said, barreling out of the trailer, “Jennifer, you can’t just go disappear for three days then come back shifting on the front lawn.” Her voice was a harsh whisper.
“Sorry Mama,” I told her getting to my feet, “It wasn’t on purpose.”
Mama’s deeply wrinkled face softened, and she pressed a hand to my face, she gasped, startling me, riling my inner wolf,
“Come inside, let’s get you cleaned up and you can tell me all about your first shift.”
I nodded and followed her in. Mama twitched and bit her cheek; her eyes scanned the yard and tree line as if making sure no one saw my shift. When Mariah first shifted, Mama hollered for joy. She howled into the night sky that her pup was a whelp now. But she shepherded me inside like she was ashamed. Was it the blood? I didn’t remember Mariah being covered in blood, but I had been so young at the time. I was more focused on my tv show being interrupted than my older sister getting her wolf.
“Shower up dear, then we’ll talk,” she said, patting me on the arm.
I went into the small bathroom and nearly jumped out of my skin. For a brief second, I thought there was a serial killer, ghost, or horror movie monster in the mirror. But the strange woman moved when I moved. It was me.
I spent several minutes staring at myself in the mirror. I knew the first shift could bring changes, but this.... this was too much.
My hands traced over my face, where once I’d had my father’s tan skin, was now pale and where I’d had my mother’s warm brown eyes were replaced with an eye of blue and an eye of dark brown. My once auburn hair was black with a thin grey stripe down the middle. My heart raced. I didn’t even look like the same Jennifer.
My hands moved unbidden to the biggest change; a giant scar on my neck. A huge, ugly, scar. Tears raced down my face. No one would want me now. I was hideous.
“Jennifer? Sugar?” Mama’s voice called from the other side of the bathroom door, “You have to come out sometime. Alpha Newaters is coming over to congratulate you on your first shift.”
A sob wracked my body. Congratulate me? For this?
“Jennifer!” Daddy hollered, he must have come back early from work, “If you don’t open this door this instant-”
I took one final look in the mirror. Daddy would know what to do. He would know what happened. I took a deep breath, wrapped the towel tightly around my torso, and opened the door.
Daddy’s fist was raised prepared to pound on the door some more. When he looked at me, it dropped and he stepped back, running into the wall.
“Daddy?” I asked, voice trembling. I reached out to him, but he slid along the wall away from me.
“Witch,” his voice wavered but he moved further away from me. I turned to look at Mama who was frowning at me.
“Mama?” I asked, pleaded, I wanted to know what was going on.
“It’s ok, Jennifer,” she said gently stroking my arm.
“No!” dad growled. He pounced into action, pulling Mama from me, “It’s too dangerous.”
“Dangerous? Chuck, it’s Jenny, your baby girl,” Mama scolded, “She came back from her first shift covered in blood lookin’ a bit different, but she’s still your little wolf.”
Daddy shook his head, stroking Mama’s hair, “I can’t risk you, Eileen. I would break beyond repair if something happened to you.”
Mama ducked out of his hold, “Well I’d break beyond repair if something happens to my baby girl. Now cut out this nonsense,” the screen door rattled as Alpha Newaters knocked, “Go let the Alpha in while I get Jenny presentable.”
“Eileen,” Daddy’s voice was a low warning growl.
“Charles,” she returned with her own fierce growl.
I bypassed their standoff and went into my room. I tried to dress quickly, but overnight I’d managed to outgrow all my clothes. My jeans were too tight to button, my shirts bared my midriff. The only thing I could find that would fit was a pair of Mariah’s maternity pajamas that she’d ditched in the back of my closet so her motherin-law would think she lost them.
The pajamas were a pair of hideous yellow shorts that barely covered my backside with a pleated trim and a billowy tank top that read Hawt to Drop, with sunflower decorated arrows pointing at the belly.
“Jenny, sugar, you have to come out now,” Mama knocked on the bedroom door quietly opening it as she did, “Oh, my, that’s....”
“Nothing fits, Mama,” I cried, “I’m a freak.”
“Oh sugar,” she wrapped me in her arms. She barely came up to my shoulders now, we’d been the same height before, “You’re not a freak. Everyone changes after their first shift.”
I scoffed, “Mariah went up a bra size, I grew a foot.”
“Hush now,” Mama said smacking my shoulder, “Alpha Newaters is here and he brought the whole family to congratulate you.”
I bit my lip, my newly sharp eyetooth cut my lip filling my mouth with blood, “Ah,” I gagged spitting blood into my towel. The bleeding stopped as quickly as it started, and I let Mama lead me into the small patio out front.
“Jenny!” Mariah called excited, when Mama opened the door “I’m so happy for you!” she ran over and wrapped her arms around me. Her stomach slightly swollen from her first pregnancy. She stepped back keeping her hands on my waist, her bright smile faded to a face of horror, “Ohmylord,” Mariah stepped back and grasped her mate’s hand, and whispered to him.
“You didn’t mention the complete change, Chuck,” Alpha Newaters said to Daddy. Both men had grown up together and despite their close age, Alpha Newaters looked so much older. Deep wrinkles lined his face and his hair was thin and grey. While Daddy’s face sported a few lines, Alpha Newaters looked old enough to be Daddy’s father.
“What happened to her?” Alpha Newaters asked his dad, “She’s taller than me. And her hair.”
“She’s standing right here,” Mama scolded, “Don’t talk about Jenny like she’s not here. My baby girl had her first shift, that’s something to be celebrated.”
“Jennifer,” Alpha Newaters stood and walked over to me, but he didn’t touch me, “What do you remember about your shift? Where did you run? Who did you see? What did you do?”
“I remember shifting, and I remember waking up on the lawn,” I told him. Fidgeting with my hair, dropping it whenever I caught a strand of the grey. Alpha Newaters eyes flashed when he saw the horrible scar on my throat.
Another random document with no related content on Scribd:
prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.
This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
