CONTENTS
EDITORIAL COMMITTEE
Karen D. Chellew
Founder & President Sisters U Foundation, Inc. www.sistersu.org
Stefanie McKeever
Executive Director Sisters U Foundation, Inc. www.sistersu.org
Stephen Barth
Governing Board Sisters U Foundation, Inc. www.sistersu.org
Dianne McNally
Governing Board Sisters U Foundation, Inc. www.sistersu.org
Rodney Altemose
Executive Director Upper Bucks Campus Bucks County Community College www.bucks.edu
Summer 2015
COVER STORY Service Driven Success.. .........................................................................5
COMMUNITY A Woman’s Place: Empowering Others to Thrive. . ..................................8
BUSINESS Stepping Into Your Dreams..................................................................10
FITNESS GOLF: A Great Workout for Your Mind, Body & Soul.. ..........................12
FASHION & BEAUTY Summer Style Tips..............................................................................13
FINANCE & MONEY Raising Money Smart Kids..................................................................14
Kim Arnold
Vice President Fulton Bank www.fultonbank.com
HOT TIPS Why Can’t Car Shopping Be Like Buying a New Pair of Shoes?. . ............16
Carolyn Fiore
Owner The Skippack Hope Chest www.skippackhopechest.com
Helene Leonetti, M.D.
Author, Keynote, Workshops, Seminars www.helenebleonettimd.com
Nancy Paul
Executive Director Montgomery County Bar Association www.montcobar.org
LIFE Ways to Achieve Healthier, Happier Relationships................................18
HEALTH What You Need to Know About Skin Cancer & Sun Damage . . ................20 Developing Our Personal Best. . ............................................................22
Jessica Pritchard, Esquire
Partner Antheil, Maslow & MacMinn, LLP www.ammlaw.com
Christine Reilly
Style Consultant Kristel Closets www.kristelclosets.com
Rita Woodward Editor
© 2015 All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced electronically or in print without the expressed written permission of the publisher. Woman2Woman Magazine is published quarterly by Hoffmann Publishing Group, Reading, PA HoffmannPublishing.com • 610.685.0914 For Advertising Info Contact: Karen Zach, Karen@hoffpubs.com, 610.306.2242
A NOTE FROM OUR FOUNDER
I
t occurs to me, that providing local women, businesses, leaders, Woman2Woman Magazine is just another we wake up in the emerging young leaders, artists, and non-profit vehicle that we will use to bring our lives morning throw off organizations a blank canvas to share their together in this organic movement to create the covers and begin story, create and express their ideas. Their community right here, right now. We know our day of lists and own voices not filtered or limited to just a few it’s only going to get better from here. schedules that run quotes. We hope to address issues that few We hope you’ll enjoy and find value in our life. Lists and others address dealing with real and relevant topics that we as women face every day. We what you read here. Also, please check out schedules that nevSisters U® online at www.sistersu.org. I would will get personal and share our experiences. er allow us to tap love to hear your thoughts and feedback via We will have real conversations to connect us, into those personal email at Karen@sistersu.com. get us out of self-isolation and empower us skills and talents to grow. As we set forth this ideal, we see our that harness our passions, fulfill our very first issue as our reminder—to be locally My very best to you, purpose, and generate confidence. As women rooted and connected, fully engaged with each we spend our lives identifying and responding other as we are and optimistically focused on to the needs of others—family members, what we can be as our authentic selves. CEO & founder of Sisters U® friends, employers, and co-workers—at the You see, Sisters U® was created to provide a expense of our own, leaving us exhausted, and emotionally depleted, and searching place where every woman, no matter where in her journey, can find acceptance, resources for affirmation. and encouragement to identify what makes We think it’s time for change and our her unique and to find the strength to step www.sistersu.com magazine Woman2Woman is focused on out to live the life for which she was created.
Karen Chellew
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MAGAZINE
COVER STORY
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Service Driven Success By: Stephanie Renee Payne
W
hen the perky blonde in a classic black dress, cheetah print pumps, and a slim gold necklace stretching toward her waist sat down with me to chat, she immediately gave away her secret. With a contagious smile and equally contagious high-octane energy, she tucked her legs into her chair and settled in with the promise of her uncompromised attention present in her blue eyes. “Tell me about yourself?” she said in an airy, squeak of a voice as she leaned in to absorb
all that she could learn, her gaze filled with curiosity, her heart open to receive the answer. Then came her secret. It was more than instinct or habit; Neen James’ essence, the core of her very being, and what pulses in her cells was revealed when she asked the following questions:
“What can I do for you? How can I help you?”
What drives Neen James is not money and recognition, both of which are magnetic to the spirited President and CEO of Neen James Communication, it is her need to serve. That need has afforded the international productivity expert a world stage, and is the oxygen that ignites her seemingly tireless commitment to her clients and those in attendance when she speaks. The Australian born former Managing Director of the Philadelphia Chapter of eWomen Network takes her mission to heart Continued on page 6 SUMMER 2015 5
COVER STORY…continued as she focuses her gratitude-filled eyes toward the ceiling when she speaks of the hundreds and hundreds of people she stands before when she presents as a keynote speaker.
“ When I stand before all of those people, I think to myself, How can I serve them?” Perhaps it is the “Aussie way,” as Neen, born in Lismore NSW Australia, says that keeps her spirit soaring and her commitment unwavering. She tells me that while Americans cherish freedom, Aussies cherish equality. She and her younger sister, Debbie, were equals to any other Aussie as her single mother creatively fashioned found items into furnishings for their home. Perhaps this gave her the temerity not only to dream and to believe with every fiber of her being that all things were possible but to extend that ideal to others. As the eldest child, Neen extended the magic of endless possibilities to her sister, deciding at a young age that she would have the financial means to facilitate opportunities for her sister that her then single mother could not. When her mother married and two more siblings arrived, Neen attended to her half-brother, John, and half-sister, Candy with the same sense of service and care, and is now a doting auntie. Perhaps Neen’s clear-eyed focus is inspired by her Auntie Carol and Uncle Trevor. She found herself at their sprawling home often as a girl. Uncle Trevor, a carpenter, Neen says, had unfinished projects all around, which created a space to fill the imaginative musings of a girl without limitations. Neen’s Auntie Carol inspired and shaped Neen through her generosity and creativity. “She was always so generous with her time,” Neen recalls. Perhaps it is simply the Australian landscape from the woodland, grassland, mangrove swamps, and desert to the lush expanse of sandy coastline that feeds Neen’s curiosity, sense of adventure, and as she says, “Ah-Mazing” outlook on life. Neen explains that “Because
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The most recent of her books on the market today is, Folding Time: How to Achieve Twice as Much in Half the Time sets forth a process to take control of your destiny, no whining allowed. Mrs. James, married since the age of nineteen with a partner who supports and even relishes in her stretching toward the stars, does not whine. But this wise woman does not do the heavy lifting alone. Neen assembled a community of women whom she relies on to Those actionable steps are infused with hold her accountable—her “accountability Neen’s innate sense of wonder and playfulness, partner.” She enlisted this community to and she loves to play—she swings her beautiful help her get into shape. Neen walked, she long gold necklaces about as she tells me she ran, she trained for and ran a half marathon, likes playful jewelry and things that move. and then trained for a full marathon. A week However, Neen is all business when it comes before Neen was to face the ultimate runner’s two things: process and commitment. Neen challenge to push her body to its limits with has built a successful business sharing her a daunting and laudable 24.6 mile run, she refined, personalized strategies for corpora- injured her ankle. With her doctor’s advice tions. She has authored eight books with a not to run, the woman whose stalwart belief ninth, Be Ah-mazing: Accelerate Impact and in commitment only saw one option: finish Influence, due in 2016. the race. Period. every day I want to be reminded to be in awe and wonder with a child-like view of the world and go ‘ahhhh that’s ah-mazing.’” Neen’s self-created word is tattooed on her right wrist, an indelible reminder to live life full tilt, and with a steadfast belief in magical happenings—happenings Neen brings about for herself and for her clients with specific, actionable steps.
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that the 4 foot 10 and half inch Neen James wields is in her ability to meld the practical and the whimsical into an enigmatic elixir of possibility that makes any person with the good fortune to be in her company feel ten feet tall.
“Ah,” she says shrugging her shoulders as if her achievement was mundane, “I wasn’t going to say to everyone that ‘I can’t run because I hurt my ankle.’”
mentorship, it is the ineffable quality of Neen’s essence, an essence that confronted me when we sat down together for our interview that is most remarkable about the entrepreneur. Her assistant, Maria, who has been with Neen With Neen’s ever growing list of satisfied since the start of her business puts it best, clients, and an admirable list of accom- “After I began to work with her, I realized plishments, notably her commitment to everything is possible with Neen.” The magic
WRITTEN BY: Stephanie Renee Payne is the author of ESP: Extreme Self-Pampering for the Soul, and numerous essays and short fiction featured in Hunger Mountain, Shadowbox, For Harriet, among others. Stephanie holds a MFA in writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts and is currently working on a memoir titled Unbroken: One Daughter’s Journey. She has taught creative writing at The New School University in New York City, and currently teaches First-Year Writing at Temple University.
SUMMER 2015 7
COMMUNITY
A Woman’s Place: Empowering Others to Thrive
T
raveling through scenic Bucks County, with its plentiful farmlands and historic homes, it is easy to forget that domestic violence can exist here as easily as anywhere else. Nationally, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men are affected by domestic violence during their lifetimes. A Woman’s Place (AWP) is Bucks County’s only domestic violence service and prevention organization. Founded in 1976, AWP has helped countless victims of domestic violence and their children such as Jessica, whose personal experience reflects the diverse ways that AWP is empowering people so they can flourish.
the course of one short week, however, her sense of security was shattered. Her fiancé spiraled into dangerous and unpredictable behavior that led her to end the relationship.
and career—which both began to crumble beneath the controlling weight of her former partner’s abusive behavior—that she turned to AWP for guidance and support.
Unfortunately for Jessica, the end of the relationship was just the beginning of a new nightmare. She found herself dealing with ongoing threatening phone calls, emails, and texts from her previous partner. “The [months] that followed were worse,” Jessica said. “His threats escalated to stalking. I found myself coming to terms that I was now a victim of domestic violence.”
Jessica’s story starts out at what should have been a joyous and exciting time in her life. She was engaged, expecting a child, and working a steady job. On the outside, the pieces of her private and professional life seemed intact. In
Jessica’s ex-partner filed multiple petitions for custody. “I felt hopeless and desperate at the thought of not being able to protect my infant son from this man,” Jessica said. It was during her struggle to rebuild her home life
While Jessica’s ex was briefly incarcerated for unrelated charges, she diligently worked with legal advocates from AWP, stayed at the safe shelter, and formed healthy, supportive relationships with staff and volunteers. One of AWP’s strengths is its ability to coordinate a team of compassionate and qualified people with different areas of expertise to meet an individual client’s needs. Through AWP’s Safe Options Project counseling and advocacy services, clients like Jessica gain knowledge and skills that lead to safer and healthier living.
“I felt hopeless & desperate at the thought of not being able to protect my infant son from this man.”
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Jessica speaks gratefully about specific advocates and their ongoing dedication, remarking that “Since the stalker continues, to this day, to write letters from prison, AWP’s legal team members are still protecting me and working hard so that I can live a normal life again.” AWP assists clients throughout the separation process and recognizes that recovery is ongoing. More importantly, AWP emphasizes that recovery must come from within, and in order for clients to heal, they must feel empowered. The Empowerment Project at AWP works to help clients and members of the local community develop and build self-confidence through various small group workshops. Each of the 12 focus areas within this project aims to instill skills, courage, and strength in those who attend, as well as provide a bridge back into the outside world for victims of domestic violence.
www.SistersU.com
Looking toward the future, AWP also strives to break the cycle of domestic violence through its Prevention Project by helping individuals, families, and organizations understand the issue and how they can be part of the solution. Community knowledge is strengthened through events, workshops, and trainings. Old attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that allow violence to continue are gradually replaced with ones that promote safety, justice, and equality instead. As someone who knows firsthand how it feels to escape a violent relationship and struggle to return to a normal, fulfilling life, Jessica offers this advice: “For anyone reading who may be going through any form of domestic violence I’d like to give you a message. Seek help. I know the feeling of hopelessness and despair but there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn’t happen overnight, but fight for the life you deserve! A Woman’s Place can help you.”
To donate, volunteer, or learn more about AWP, please visit www.awomansplace.org. The AWP Hotline (800.220.8116) is available 24-hours a day for victims and community members alike.
SUMMER 2015 9
BUSINESS
By: Christin Smith Myers
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined!” – Henry David Thoreau
A
lmost seven years ago, inspired by those words, I started with a declaration: I will own a consulting practice and coach others to help them achieve their goals. Since then, my vision has grown to include public speaking, and in spite of the addition of a second child to our family, the economic downturn, and a big job change, I now have a website and paid speaking engagements. There have been missteps and stumbles, yet I’m living my dream and I’m passionate about helping others step into their dreams as well. Have you imagined the life of your dreams? Do you dream of opening a bakery? Writing a book? Retiring at 55? Traveling the world? Whatever your dream, you won’t accomplish it if you don’t begin taking steps in that direction. There is no one best route,
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no clearly mapped road to success. However, it will be helpful to recognize ways you can step in, step up, step down, and step out to accomplish your goal.
the area and division contests. I got lost on the way to the district contest and almost missed it but pulled myself together and earned second place and lots of positive feedback. It was the first time I had ever worn a wireless mic or spoken to an audience so large (and it Step In to the Life You Want. was for less than two minutes!), but I was hooked. Sixteen months To move forward, you have to know where you’re headed and claim after competing in the contest, I was emceeing a conference for it for yourself. In September 2008, I wrote a private declaration of 70+ attendees, and a few months later, I gave a 45-minute keynote intention that begins, “I own a successful consulting practice…” to a group of 60 employees. That first contest experience provided Two weeks later, I walked into my first Toastmasters meeting and a huge boost of confidence. Asking yourself, “What would I do if over the next year, the thrill of every speaking opportunity I had I wasn’t afraid?” is a great way to identify a next step! Fantasizing couldn’t be ignored. I whispered to my supportive sister-in-law, “I about traveling the world and unable to afford the nice hotels you think I want to be a speaker.” Over time I spoke my dream a little prefer? Explore non-conventional options like campgrounds, hostels louder to a few more people. When I shared my goal of having a or Airbnb. You might just find a new way to explore the world. paid speaking engagement with a friend of mine at a casual dinner, she immediately made a very meaningful introduction that ended Of course, not every journey goes smoothly or exactly as planned. up leading to several paid and unpaid speaking opportunities. When If your journey is anything like mine, sometimes it will feel that for you share your dreams, others are happy to help you achieve them. every two steps forward, you will have to take a step back. Other Thinking about opening a bakery? Offer to provide the baked goods times it will feel as if you’re walking in place and not making progress for events in exchange for honest feedback on your flavors and at all. As you set out, learn from your missteps and sidestep when presentation. Start doodling logo designs and scope out locations. necessary. By stepping in, stepping up, stepping down, and stepping out in the direction of your dreams, you will begin a journey towards Any of these steps will make your dream more concrete. the life you imagine.
Step Up & Take On a New Challenge.
As a member of the Women’s Foodservice Forum from 2006 Christin Smith Myers is a speaker, trainer and coach. Learn more and sign up through 2011, I volunteered extensively, including for the virtual for a complimentary dream coaching session at www.christinsmithmyers.com. events committee. I had no related experience but eagerly volunteered to be a host for a webinar; on the big day the power went out in our office and I ended up winging it. In spite of the challenges, I loved the experience and even threw my hat into the ring for a big role interviewing an industry leader. While my bid was rejected, my chance came when I joined Toastmasters and could serve as Toastmaster (emcee) of the meetings and eventually serve as club president, which was another big step for me. You never know where that step up will take you. Dreaming of writing a book? Step up to write blog posts, articles, newsletters for your employer or organizations of which you’re a member…anything that gets you in the habit of frequent writing.
Step Down to Free Your Time.
To put time into developing your dream, you may have to step down from some current commitments and lower expectations of yourself in other areas. Soon after taking a new job, I stepped down after only one term as president of my Toastmasters group and soon left the group so I wasn’t spreading myself too thin. Even though I loved interacting with other members and improving my speaking skills, I knew I needed to reprioritize. Now I spend that time building my business. Learning to let some things be “good enough” has also helped me put more time toward accomplishing goals. Committed to retiring at 55? Evaluate what unpaid commitments you have that you can forgo for opportunities to add to your bank account and choose to remove pricey activities from your schedule.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone.
The first time our club hosted a contest, I went into the impromptu speaking contest begrudgingly and told myself the outcome wouldn’t matter. Yet after winning at the club level, I was proud to also win SUMMER 2015 11
FITNESS
GOLF:
A Great Workout for Your Mind, Body & Soul
I
am often asked by women thinking about learning the game of golf, “Why is this a good sport for me?” And despite my obvious bias and love of the game I have some excellent answers to their question.
Many people think that golf is slow, boring, non-athletic, and an easy sport all around. But golf isn’t just an activity for those entering retirement as many of my non-golfer friends joke. It’s not a simple walk or cart ride from one hole to another with a few swings in between. The game of golf actually has wellness benefits in several areas.
One of the obvious perks of preparing for and playing this sport is that it can enhance physical fitness. A good golf swing requires upper body mobility, stability and core strength so women who are already involved in activities like yoga, stretching and resistance training will have a natural advantage. Those who aren’t currently involved in exercise can enhance their fitness and their game simply by doing some light stretching and resistance training before getting on the green. Another wellness benefit golf has to offer is that it can improve mental functioning. Most of the women I know are going 24/7, constantly multi-tasking (which studies are now showing is actually detrimental to our brain), working their business or job, picking up the kids at school, dropping them off at soccer practice, making dinner, helping with homework, answering emails, returning phone calls and a myriad of things that pull at them in all directions. Golf is one activity that requires shutting off everything on the outside and being totally present and focused in the moment. From the back swing to the down swing to the follow through golf helps you learn to focus. Anything that is bothering you will affect performance so training yourself to be single-minded and focused can actually improve your overall mental function. Golf can also has the potential to improve your state of emotional wellness. Being outside in nature in a quiet environment surrounded by greenery can have a calming effect on your emotions. Swinging a club with all your might is also a wonderful release of physical tension a fantastic release of stress as well. It is a great sport for women and men and can have lasting positive effects on your mind, body and soul.
Rogerio C. Higa Titleist performance institute certified level 1 www.peakperformancegolfacademy.com Rogerio@peakperformancegolfacademy.com 215-715-1307 Golf pro at Four Seasons Golf Center Fountainville, PA
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FASHION & BEAUTY
www.SistersU.com
Summer Style Tips Step into Summer with Style:
Warm days filled with sunshine and fun are here again and we are getting ready for some trendy changes to our wardrobes. This Season be sure to make room for some new and fabulous Summer 2015 trends such as white/blue Jean or leather jackets are being paired with lacy dresses, stylish slacks and fashionable leggings. Also, try some of these “Fashion Week� suggestions: Floral prints, solid tones, Fun printed wedge shoes, organza fabrics are fashionably ideal. While blacks, purples and grays are typically winter collections, this season get dressed in colors such as creative corals, passionate pinks, sunny yellows and gorgeous greens.
Summer Season Helpful Hints:
During the summer and formal events wear shoes in a half or full-size larger than you normally wear. Feet tend to swell during the summer months and when you are standing or dancing longs lengths of time shoes can become uncomfortable. One size larger will allow for comfort and prevent toes from slipping over the edge. For formal events, consider changing temporarily into a pair of flats for a break. No one will even notice.
Make-Up Tips for Summer:
The warmer weather can make for melting makeup. Try using a bronzer, it gives great color to skin without over doing it. You can use it alone or on top of your primer. A powder bronzer works best, especially when applying to forehead, cheeks, nose and chin. You will looked kissed by the sun with a healthy summer glow. Also try a light shimmery gloss on lips, this is a great way to finish off your easy breezy summer makeup application.
Beautiful Summer Skin:
Contributed by Carolyn Fiore The Skippack Hope Chest www.skippackhopechest.com
Ultraviolet sun rays are very damaging to the skin which can lead to premature aging as well as skin cancer. Make an appointment with your local salon for a spray-on tan or try an inexpensive self-tanning lotion. Make sure you exfoliate prior to using spray on or self-tanning lotions to avoid uneven skin tones. While in the sun slather on the sunblock and reapply often. Even if its cloudy, make it part of your daily routine.
SUMMER 2015 13
FINANCE & MONEY
RAISING MONEY SMART K
ids are fascinated by how many pennies are in a dollar, or how much candy they can really buy for 75 cents. But teaching them the value of money and the importance of saving—now that’s another story. Children (and many adults) tend to live in the moment, so encouraging them to save for a rainy day can be challenging, though not impossible. Setting the right example and instilling good money management habits while kids are still young is the first step towards raising financially literate adults.
Allowance Basics: The 10-10-80 Rule
As soon as children are old enough to handle small amounts of money (typically around first or second grade) they should be allowed some of their own cash to manage. Once you’ve establishes the amount, frequency and guidelines of allowances in your home, sit with your children to discuss a plan for saving, sharing and spending. A good rule of thumb is the 10-10-80 allocation: 10% to savings; 10% to charity/church; and 80% to keep and/or spend.
Like many of us, most children will not be initially thrilled at the idea of saving 10% of their money. But teaching them that saving isn’t what we do with money that’s leftover, rather, it’s what we set aside right off the top, can establish a positive money management pattern that will carry them into adulthood. It helps to give young children a reason to save by identifying some goals they may have.
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Inspire their desire to save by brainstorming about big ticket items the child has been wanting—a computer game, microscope, etc. Then sit down and figure out a savings plan that will help them achieve their goal. If you believe in paying your child for odd jobs and chores, help him come up with income producing ideas to accomplish his goal. Not only will this help instill a lesson on the value of money, it will also make the purchased item more meaningful once it is finally obtained. You can also teach your children about the magic of compound interest by offering to add interest to their savings for each week or month they leave it untouched. Watching their money grow will do more to motivate them than any number of lectures on the subject. (Saving $5 a week at 6 percent interest compounded quarterly will total about $266 after a year, $1,503 after 5 years, and $3,527 after 10 years!)
Teaching children to share begins in pre- an established savings plan and budget; pay school so applying it to the financial arena off debts in a timely manner; live within your may not be as difficult as you may think. budget and resist impulse shopping; give to Encourage your children to set aside 10% charitable causes that are meaningful to you; of their allowance for charity. Allow them help protect your family’s future with adequate to contribute to organizations that help insurance coverage; and finally, maintain a families and children within your commu- teachable attitude yourself. Make wise money nity, and also allow them to participate in management choices that you can pass on food, clothing and toy drives. Be sure to for generations to come. track their contributions in a notebook you review at the end of the year so they can see the many ways their generosity impacted others. Pint-size philanthropy pays off in Provided courtesy of Prudential Financial Planning later years by establishing a healthy attitude Services. For more information, contact Minakshi towards money and the many good things it Malhotra, Financial Planner, who offers investment advisory services through Prudential Financial can accomplish—not just purchase.
Lead by Example.
At the end of the day, children are going to learn more from what we do than what we say. The best way to teach our children good money management habits is to practice them ourselves. Walk the talk by sticking to
Planning Services, a division of Pruco Securities, LLC. Minakshi Malhotra's private office is located in Chalfont, PA. She can be reached at minakshi. malhotra@prudential.com and (267) 477-2021
SUMMER 2015 15
HOT TIPS
WHY CAN’T
CAR SHOPPING BE LIKE
Buying a Pair of Shoes?
B
uying shoes is truly one of my favorites when it comes to “retail 1. therapy.” Buying a car for many women is often on the other side of the enjoyment spectrum—as it can be nerve-wracking and very time consuming. Now that I’ve been working in the vehicle retail sector for over nine years, I’m confident that buying a vehicle is only as stressful as you make it. Here’s a few tip, tricks, and words of advice I’ve learned along the way that makes car shopping as enjoyable as shoe-shopping!
Before you buy shoes you must ask yourself, are these shoes for dress up, work, leisure, or working out? Well, it’s the same for when you buy your next vehicle. Ask yourself this question: What will I be using this vehicle to do? The answer will narrow down your options to a more specific type of vehicle, which will make the selection a lot less overwhelming.
There are a lot of places to go online to find the right vehicle to fit your needs. You can narrow down your search for the right vehicle and determine your brand preference without stepping foot on a car lot. These sites can really help you focus your search by helping you understand differences in durability, reliability and safety. Here are a few that I direct my clients to: • • • •
Quizrocket.com/car-quiz ConsumerReports.org KBB.com Cars.com
Also from the get-go, wipe clean that mental picture of the scary Finding the right dealership and consultant in your salesperson with the greased back hair and pushy personality. In area is so simple now via the World Wide Web. All you today’s modern world these people cannot last long in the car (or have to do is type in your local dealership’s name and shoe) business—it’s no longer about the immediate sale, rather the “reviews” into a search engine and you will see review after review customer’s overall experience. This stereotype probably still exists on most major car buying establishments. When going through out there in a few holes, but you, as an informed buyer, now have these look for consistency in the dealership’s reviews and you will a lot of control and power to truly avoid them! find key words, topics and names that keep popping up. Read a few and focus on finding a consultant whose name is showing up Finally, throw away the mindset that you have to go into a dealership regularly and most recently. These are the dealership consultants in order to get yourself a real deal that saves you the most money. This you should ask for when you go into the store, or request online holds true for car shopping, just as it does for shoe shopping. Sites when scheduling an appointment, as they are known in the area to like Shoedazzle.com, JustFab.com, Zappos.com and 6p.m.com exist create a comfortable environment that establishes trust and respect. for a reason—we are all about saving time and money. The process Here are some suggestions for searching for reviews: of hassle and haggle is not a preferred method of shopping for the modern women of today. If you have a family, work, hobbies, bills • Dealerrater.com to pay, or all the above, taking the time to go into three different • Yelp.com dealerships to find the right vehicle, comparison shop, and haggle • Cars.com for a deal is time you just don’t have. • Google.com The Internet is a powerful tool! You can use it to your advantage 2. Now is the easiest part of the car shopping expeto become as confident in car shopping as you are in shoe shopping. rience that most women dread…Price! I work in The following are three steps I recommend for using the internet to the competitive Internet Sales segment of the car make car buying easy and maybe even fun! dealership where my clients send in online requests
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not user friendly. However, with a refresh and some time passed, this site really makes getting quotes easy! This magical car-shopping site is TrueCar.com. All you have to do is submit a request for pricing based on the perfect vehicle to fit your needs. Make sure if you’re doing this that you know the right make and model, its trim, color preference and additional options that you would like. After submitting you will get price quotes from up to three local dealerships. Always look at the fine print though to make sure you know what the price includes or doesn’t include. With these simple steps, car buying can be as enjoyable as shoe shopping. I understand there are many women who still prefer to try their shoes on, or test-drive a few vehicles first, before they decide. But for a lot of busy women, like myself, taking the time to do all of that is not an option. That’s where this three-step process will help immensely. It gives you a better handle on your best options before you do a test drive. Happy Car Shopping! Sherah Cooney Internet Team Lead Coordintor, Thompson Toyota P: 267.898.2711 • sherah.cooney@1800thompson.com
through our dealership’s websites. My job is to earn our customers’ business by meeting their pricing requirements and providing excellent service. I have two recommendations to really cut time out of this process and get the deal you’re looking for: • Submit an online request for pricing to two or three of your local dealerships with a reference to one of their in-stock vehicles that fits your needs best. Reference in this request if you are buying, leasing or paying cash for the vehicle and if you have a vehicle to trade in. In doing this you will get two or three offers for your business. If you have a dealership you would prefer to go to, send them your lowest offer and see if they can match. Again all of this can be done online and through your email. This is my favorite process as it’s very cut and dry. • For additional pricing options, go to a site that two years ago I would not have recommended—as it was
SUMMER 2015 17
LIFE
Ways to Achieve Healthier, Happier Relationships We all want to love and be loved. We are all seeking loving, nurturing relationships. Too often though, our “stuff” and the “stuff” of other people get in the way of real love. Truthfully, healthy and happier relationships require commitment along with concerted, heart-felt effort. There are a variety of ways to eliminate your own personal “stuff” and participate in mature, adult relationships without all the childish games. By following and committing to our 7 ways for healthier and happier relationships, you will begin to experience a shift in the energy, dynamics and quality of those relationships that mean the most to you. These suggestions are not listed in any particular order; however, don’t attempt to master all of them at once. That could lead to overwhelm and throwing in the towel. We want you to master loving relationships, not avoid them. So focus on one or two of our suggestions below that resonate with you. Be willing to master each one over time so you can apply them to the relationships that require some TLC. Let us know how you make out! (pardon the pun!)
1.
Be ready, willing and open to improve the quality of your relationships. Being open to improving and healing your relationships increases the likelihood that you can create long-term relationships that are healthier and mutually beneficial. If you’re not willing, then ask yourself ‘why am I resistant to moving forward?’
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2.
Look within and get in touch with yourself. Once you agree to the first requirement, be open to looking within. This serves 2 purposes: first, it allows you to get in-touch with your true feelings toward the other person and yourself. It also provides you with greater insight to how you may be attracting unloving and unwanted relationships in to your life. Get to know “you” by going on a date with yourself. Spend alone time. Journal your thoughts about what you love about you. Begin to enjoy your own company!
3.
Be open to giving up the idea of ‘fixing’ and ‘saving’ other people. Do not expect anyone else to change because you want them to. If you are carrying a belief of ‘I’ll be happy and at peace when (s)he changes’, you are going to wait a very long time, even a lifetime, for that to happen. Instead of wanting other people to change for you, focus on YOU and how you can make an uplifting contribution to all of your relationships. Start by blessing all of your relationships, past and present, good or bad. When you do this, you instantly have a more positive impact on the world.
www.SistersU.com
4.
Be willing to give up controlling the relationships in your life. When you try to control the relationships in your life, your life seemingly spins out of control. Trying to control people and situations is an emotionally exhausting process that will deplete your energies and prevent you from enjoying conscious, loving, grown up relationships.
7.
Begin to develop more self-confidence and healthier self-esteem. You achieve this by learning to let go of the past and cease worrying about the future. Be alive now. Accept that you are unique and one-of-a kind and so is everyone else. Experiencing healthy relationships is also about realizing that we are all interconnected to everyone and everything. Life and relationships cannot be played out to its full beauty and grandeur without your consent. All, truly healthy, grown up relationships, must contain consenting adults. From this point forward, consent to take responsibility for your life by strengthening all of your relationships.
5.
Take responsibility for creating positive relationships. When you begin to accept that who you attract in to your life is a reflection of who you believe you are, you can begin to take responsibility for all aspects of your life, including your relationships. Get to know the roles you play in all your relationships. When you accept responsibility for the health of all your relationships, you can begin to positively affect their quality. To do this requires commitment, and this is huge! This is about becoming the type of person you want in your life. This is acknowledging once and for all that the only person you can effectively change is you!
By taking a mature, honest, pro-active approach to securing healthier, happier relationships, you will begin to notice how all aspects of your life are changing for the better. You’ll experience a higher quality relationship with those you love as well as with yourself. We all want the same thing in relationships. By taking the high road and mastering the 7 must-dos, you will give more love and receive it in return. Now who doesn’t want that?
Jon Satin and Chris Pattay, The Possibility Coaches™ ©2015 The Possibility Coaches LLC
6.
Accept that only YOU can make YOU happy. By accepting that only you can change your relationships, you are on the road to becoming and doing whatever it takes to make your relationships work. This means that you cease to hold others responsible for your happiness. You also give up trying to change people to meet your emotional needs.
Jon Satin and Chris Pattay are The Possibility Coaches™. They are Master Success and Transformational Coaches with expertise in the areas of relationships, life challenges & transitions, and entrepreneurship. Going beyond traditional coaching, Jon and Chris have guided hundreds of individuals, couples and business owners since 2002 to create healthier relationships and lives. Their guidance leads clients to develop a new, positive perspective toward relationships & life by learning a new way of thinking and feeling. They provide unique insights that give clients the capacity to establish a powerful connection between mind, body and spirit. Jon and Chris are authors of the highly acclaimed book: “Living an Inspired, Empowered and Joy-filled Life: 365 Daily Tips to Get You There!” www.PossibilityCoaches.com • 215-794-0135
SUMMER 2015 19
HEALTH
What You Need to Know About Skin Cancer & Sun Damage
A ‘Q & A’ with Dr. Marlene J. Mash, Dermatologist & Dermasurgeon Marlene J. Mash, MD & Associates, General & Cosmetic Integrative Dermatology
Q: As summer begins, do I need
to worry about skin cancer?
A:
Unfortunately, many people think that slathering on a sunscreen on exposed parts of the body when they plan to get into the sun is enough protection. It is not. The American Cancer Society has coined a catch phrase, "Slip! Slop! Slap! Wrap" that can help you remember the 4 key steps you can take to protect yourself from UV rays ALL YEAR ROUND: Slip on a shirt, Slop on sunscreen, Slap on a hat, and Wrap on sunglasses to protect the eyes and sensitive skin around them. These steps complement each other, and they provide the best protection when used together. And if you are planning to be out all day, you need to re-apply your sunscreen!
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Q: Sounds simple but how
do I know which sunscreen to use?
A:
Q: What are those guidelines? A:
The American Academy of Dermatology recommends everyone use sunscreen that offers the following: • Broad-spectrum protection (protects against UVA and UVB rays). • Sun Protection Factor (SPF) 30 or greater. • Water resistance.
The FDA released new guidelines that all manufacturers must follow to provide you with more information about what type of UV protection a sunscreen offers, and what a sunscreen can do.
On the label, you’ll see whether the sunscreen: protects against UVB and/or UVA rays; reduces the risk of skin cancer and early skin aging in addition to helping prevent sunburn, or just protects against sunburn alone.; and they can no longer claim that a sunscreen is “waterproof” or “sweat proof.” This is not possible because all sunscreen eventually washes off. The FDA requires that all sunscreens retain their original strength for at least three years. Some sunscreens include an expiration date. If the expiration date has passed, throw out the sunscreen.
www.SistersU.com
Q: How can I recognize skin cancer?
A:
The most dangerous form of skin cancer is melanoma, and it begins in a type of skin cell called a melanocyte. The main cause of melanoma is thought to be the sun, through exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation. Melanoma can appear suddenly as a new mole or it can develop slowly in or near an existing mole. In men, melanomas are often found on the torso or the head and neck area. In women, melanoma often develops on the lower legs as well as on the torso. Since early detection greatly improves one's chances of surviving melanoma, you should examine your skin every six to eight weeks. The best time to do this is after a bath or shower, standing in front of a full-length mirror. The simple ‘ABCD’ approach is a useful guide to help you identify moles you should show your dermatologist. (see illustration) If you notice an odd-looking mole or marking, contact your dermatologist as soon as possible. He or she will take a complete medical history and give you a physical examination. If your dermatologist also thinks the mole or marking looks unusual, a procedure known as a biopsy will be performed. You can call us for a COMPLIMENTARY Skin Cancer exam.
BENIGN
MALIGNANT
A
Asymmetry If you draw a line through this mole, the two halves will not match.
Symmetrical
Asymmetrical
B
Border even edges
uneven edges
The borders of an early melanoma tend to be uneven. The edges may be scalloped or notched.
C
Color One shade
two or more shades
A number of different shades of brown, tan, or black could appear. A melanoma may also become red, blue, or some other color.
Diameter
Smaller than ¼ inch
Larger than ¼ inch
D
Melanomas usually are larger in diameter than the size of the eraser on your pencil (1/4 inch or 6mm), but they may sometimes be smaller when first detected.
Dr. Mash is happy to answer your personal questions. Contact her at: drmmash@drmarlenemash.com, or visit her website at: www.DrMarleneMash.com, where there is more information about skin cancer and treatment. Marlene J. Mash, MD is a “DermNow” Practice; most appointments available within 24-48 hours. Call for your COMPLIMENTARY Skin Cancer Exam.
SUMMER 2015 21
HEALTH
O
ur actions all have their yin and yang; the positive and negative energy that flows from our lives. As we travel our path we find that youth is traded for wisdom, dreams turn to goals, and schedules we once found confining now give us the structure to enjoy moments of freedom and spontaneity.
In this world of 24/7 communication and news cycles, we learn that maintaining the health of our spirit becomes as important as maintaining the health of our body. To keep your mental outlook strong, concentrate less on the challenges, (the negatives) and more on the rewards, (the positives). Those rewards should include caring for you. Carve out time to be alone; time to “think”.
years ahead. Science shows us that thinking about something pleasant has almost the same effect on our psyche and endorphins as actually doing it. Don’t let money or lack of it stand in the way of expanding your horizons. Be creative. If you can’t travel to Paris, rent some French language films, search for French recipes on the internet, buy some beautiful lingerie or exotic perfume. Study the French language and picture yourself ordering a meal or asking for directions. Your goal, whether personal or professional, becomes more obtainable with every positive step you take toward it. While those same goals move further in to the distance the more negative your attitude about achieving them.
Your mind registers a tremendous difference in energy between, “I’m going to start studying French so that I can communicate Ask yourself, what have I always wanted to do, what new thing do I want to try, what adventure can I plan, even if you’re planning fluently once I get there” and “I’ll never have the money or time to travel to Paris”…or “to start my own business”. It’s not the dream that dictates the success, it’s the belief that you can make it happen. These life-shifts as a woman are not easy: Most of us spend at least the first half, sometimes more, of our adult life caring for other people. It’s a hard habit to break, that care-giver “I have to make it all okay” mentality, but by listening to your inner voice and by summoning your strength and courage, you can find the path to something that will fulfill you, make you feel valued, and perhaps even create a legacy. Thanks to modern medicine, good nutrition, and increased information about what comprises a healthy lifestyle, the average life expectancy, for a woman born in the United States between 1946 and 2012, is 81 to 85 years: That is a lot of time; make the most of it. No matter where you are on the journey, or where the younger women in your life might be, think of the wonderful things you can accomplish, the impact you can have on others: Imagine all the adventures that await you. Here is your challenge. Spend only one minute on it: Write down one goal/dream/ambition you have for your life. Just one, and then write three bullet points of steps you can realistically take, this month, to move toward making it come true. If you’re willing to share, we’d love to hear from you. Nothing is more inspiring than sharing the dreams of our “sisters” as they accomplish their personal best. Pamela Varkony is a writer, speaker, and woman’s empowerment advocate. She is the Founder of Power Of Women headquartered at Cedar Crest College, Allentown, PA, and a former member of the Pennsylvania Commission for Women. Her email address is Pam@PamelaVarkony.com
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www.SistersU.com
Photography by Amy McDermott
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