2 minute read
“Coffee, please?”
Exploring the stories behind a simple request
Debbie J. Rahn EdD, MSN, RN, Director, Reading Hospital School of Health Sciences
A call is placed for assistance with noncompliance…. those who anger us with their lack of respect for our medical wisdom and our vast experience, the “time wasters”, who act out their insecurities and frustrations in ways that are offensive to our sense of what is right; those whose decision- making skills we question…because they do not agree with what we believe is best for them.
Upon arrival, the negativity can be seen, smelled and felt. It permeates the air, is on the face, in the voice and in the posture. “How can I best help you right now?” Ah…the unfulfilled hours-long request for coffee. It’s the coffee…it’s about the lack of coffee. “Let’s take care of that”. Done.
A warm cup of coffee, a slight touch of the hand, and a smile seen only in the eyes and not evident beneath the mask. Windows open, doors swing wide, tears flow with each teardrop representing heartbreak and sadness, stories of what it is like to live as a young man with a colostomy with bodily wastes flowing out on one’s abdomen. Stories about what it feels like to think that life is worthless; how it feels to know that illness will always be a part of every rising morning and every night. Stories of those who’ve been abandoned by their families; what it feels like to lack control of one’s life, losing autonomy and embracing uncertainty.
Stories…stories…. stories…. “Tell me about your story.” There are so many stories to be heard. No surprise…it wasn’t the coffee at all. It was stories with hidden emotions secretly veiled in nonconformity and defiance. The stories help them. The stories also help us to understand, to be less frustrated and more compassionate, seeing beyond the visible. The
stories are humbling; they allow us to be thankful for our own multitude of blessings and help us learn and grow. They help us care when caring seems impossible.
Coffee comes in many forms: a simple request, very easy to forget among all of the important things, with no significance in the big picture. But sometimes coffee says “I care”, or “You are worth the time.”
The frustration and anger about the omission of a seemingly simple request may have a deeper meaning. A simple gesture like getting coffee for a patient can have a much deeper impact. Sometimes that’s what it takes to turn things around.
