Ten Photography by Nicole Aguirre
Ten A book of personal lessons gathered from life and buddhism. Photography by Nicole Aguirre 2005-2013
For Sandbox. June 2013 Thank you for giving me a reason to combine my lifetime love affair with buddism and photography. I hope this tiny book gives you insight into the person I am and will become. I would be an honor to join the Sandbox Network and contribute what I’ve learned in my life and continue to learn, with your community.
LESSON ONE In order to be strong, you first have to be weak. I learned this sitting under a tree, in a forest, two hours south of Seoul, Korea with my friend Kwan Mi, a buddhist nun from Poland who lives and practices in Korea. We met while I was living in Korea, studying the language, and studying zen in 2007. One day, the last day we were on retreat together at MuSangSa, I told her I was scared. She said, “You first have to weak in order to be strong.� She taught me that life is all about maintaining balance and that the ability to be vulnerable is true strength.
Kwan Mi Sumin at MuSangsSa, Korea, 2011. Kwan Mi is my sister, friend for life, and mentor.
LESSON TWO It’s worth it to take epic risks, even when they fail epically. I learned this after a spontaneous move to London for a relationship that ended very poorly. I refused to let it make me jaded, just more aware that anything can happen to anyone. That “faiilure” gave me the extra drive I needed to start two companies and release two more issues of Worn Magazine. The work I produced after this experience is way better than what I was producing before. “Failing” epically is awesome (after the fact) because you learn that you’re still alive, you survived, therefore it can’t possibly be that scary the next time.
Borobudur, Indonesia 2011. Borobudur is the world’s largest Buddhist archeological site.
LESSON THREE You can never lie to yourself. You can try, but eventually your body will force you to confess. I fail at this every year. Thankfully I’m failing better every year. Eventually I’ll get really great at failing at this and my failure will last two minutes instead of two weeks or two months. One of my favorite authors Pema Chodron says, “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”
Uluwatu Temple, Bali Indonesia, 2011.
LESSON FOUR Trust your gut. It’s always right. In my short life I’ve started three companies. The first was a magazine I started when I was 22 that I eventually turned into an e-commerce company and then a creative agency. This was not an easy process. There have been many times when I felt lost and torn about what direction to take. Everyone will give you advice. Listen to your gut over everything else. I’ve learned this listen and stuck to it ever since. It has never failed me.
Uluwatu Temple, Indonesia, 2011.
LESSON FIVE Always do the right thing. You almost always know what that is. The hard part is doing it. There are countless moments in life, countless moments in a single day when I’m faced with the decision to do the right thing. That can mean small things like holding a door open for someone, telling the truth about something that’s embarrassing, or tipping someone an extra dollar even when I’m feeling squeezed. Even in complex life situations where there’s nowhere to run, I’ve found that the right thing to do is always being whispered in my ear to myself by myself. I just have to stop and listen. When it’s really, really hard to do the right thing, I take comfort in the fact that doing the right thing will at the very least bring me peace of mind later on. I don’t want to stay up at night feeling guilty or disappointed in myself.
Skteching at Amed, Bali, Indonesia, 2011.
LESSON SIX Anger is pointless. I recently read a book called “The Cow in the Parking Lot.” It explains why when some jerk steals the last spot in the parking lot, it’s really no different than if a cow walked over and sat in it. The outcome is still the same. You need to find another parking spot. So why waste your time being angry? Just go look for another spot. In my life I’ve learned that this also applies to being angry at yourself. I’ve been angry at myself for procrastinating on a task, thinking I knew better than to listen to that person, or because I expect perfection (which doesn’t exist.) At a recent talk I went to in Washington, Sheryl Sandberg said, “Done is better than perfect.”
Ubud, Bali, Indonesia, 2011.
LESSON SEVEN There is something to learn from everyone. I believe that every single person you come across on the street, at work, in life, has something to teach you. That thing may be something tiny, but it’s valuable nonetheless. This belief has helped me to listen closer to strangers, no matter if I’m rushed, hungry, or distracted. Maybe that person has something to teach me about patience. “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we have to learn.” -Pema Chodron
Prambanan, Jogjakarta, Indonesia, 2011
LESSON EIGHT Your mind and your body are intimately connected. If something is wrong with one, something will quickly become wrong with the other. This is a life lesson in balance. I have been a vegetarian for eight years. I try to live a healthy, active lifestyle. This is difficult, especially for entrepreneurs with very demanding lives. It also helps to remember that scientifically, exercising makes you smarter. Your brain can grow new cells through exercise. Meditation is my way of checking in with what’s going on inside before it gives me an ulcer.
MuSangSa Temple, Korea, 2011.
LESSON NINE The most important things in life are your relationships. This is an easy thing to forget when you’re super-ambitious like me and many of my close friends, always focused on achieving the next goal. It’s also very easy to remember, because your accomplishments suddenly mean nothing when there’s no one there to share them with. When you die, you can’t take anything with you. Your friends will be the ones giving a speech at your funeral. Try toasting with yourself. I recently threw a 400 person launch party for Worn Magazine Issue 5. All of my friends showed up. It was incredible to be able to share my accomplishments the people around me who care.
San Luis Potosí, Mexico, 2012.
LESSON TEN Remembering that you’re going to die is a great way to live. Memento mori means “remember the moment of your death.” I think about this all the time, almost every day. It might sound morbid to think about death so much, but I see it as an affirmation of life. I don’t have a choice about whether to die. It’s going to happen no matter what. I do have the choice to live, so I might as well do it well. This is useful to think about when you’re afraid to do something you really want to do. Heck, you’re going to die anyway, so why not?
Amed, Indonesia, 2011.
To be continued...