[Title] Clarity in Confusion [Kicker] In a confusing world of gender fluidity genders and gender roles, reflecting on the words of a fortifying hymn brings personal revelation and humility inspires and humbles. [Highlights of the source article] As a young parent in the early 1990s, I read an article about a preschool on the U.S. east coast where gender stereotypes were vigorously avoided. Picture books showed mommies who worked and daddies who stayed home, toy weapons were not allowed, and both boys and girls learned cooking and cleaning skills. The article emphasized the experience of one boy who wanted to be a girl. His parents wanted to free him from gender assignment and were happy to find a preschool that shared their philosophy. The three-year-old wore dresses and kept his long hair in barrettes and curls in an open and inclusive environment. I was confused. I tried to avoid teaching my own children negative gender stereotypes and I didn’t understand the complexities of societal gender demands, but something about this felt wrong. “He is still a boy,” I thought to myself. “If he wanted to be a penguin, would his parents let him subsist on a diet of raw fish?” Even to my own ears, that sounded judgmental. After praying for understanding, I was surprised to find my answer a month or so later in the opening hymn in sacrament meeting a month or so later. The third verse and chorus of “I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go” includes the phrase “I’ll be what you want me to be.” And, just as personal revelation sometimes does, tThe words rang in my ears and glowed on the page. The emphasis was on the word “you.” I’ll be what you, Lord, want me to be. That’s theWe learn that message we learn from so many of our scriptural heroes: Moses, Noah, Abraham, Peter, Lehi, Alma, Joseph Smith. They put aside their own desires to follow God’s designs for them. Remember Mary’s demure response to the angel who brings her glad tidings that will upend her entire life—that risk rejection by her betrothed and public shame? “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.” Luke 1:38. And her son's similar expression Her son’s expression in the Garden of Gethsemane is similar: “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” Luke 22:42 I’m often reminded of my moment of grace now when gender discussions get complicated. In an age of non-binaries and no consensus on even how many genders there are, I still seek to understand the experiences of others but I no longer find the discussions unsettling. Rather, I spend my energy on how I can go, do, and be what the Lord wants me to be and I assume others are trying to do the same. [Link to the source article] Hum along to “I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go” and possibly receive insight about your own path. Source: https://www.lds.org/music/text/hymns?lang=eng Find more insights
Commented [Unknown A1]: This information does not seem necessary or fit the topic of your article.
Commented [Unknown A2]: I love that you chose such a relevant topic—I recently heard about this exact same thing happening. It can be hard to know where to let parents be parents. Commented [Unknown A3]: I think it's great that you show the problem you had with it this early on. Also, it's great that you say that you try to avoid teaching gender stereotypes. I imagine this would make it easier for the reader to want to see where you're coming from, regardless of their stance on the topic.
Commented [Unknown A4]: I love how clearly you show this revelation.
Commented [Unknown A5]: I would reword this question into a statement. I know this seems nit-picky and I know people can be too easily offended, but sometimes it's hard to hear “Remember this?” if you are maybe struggling with the church, or even if you just think your testimony is not as strong as others. (I've had struggles with this, so this is just from my own experience.) Commented [Unknown A6]: Having “now” and “when gender discussions get complicated” right next to each other threw me off a bit since they're talking about time in two different ways, so I would suggest putting a little distance between them. Commented [Unknown A7]: This last paragraph is absolutely beautiful. It wraps the whole article up so nicely. I think ending with the words of the song (see the changes I made) might be a little neater.
Re-examine “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” published not long after my experience: https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true
Take a look at how and when children gain a sense of their gender identity: https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide/chapter-4-teaching-children-from-four-to-elevenyears?lang=eng
Skim President Rex Lee’s talk on academic freedom, “What We Are and What We Can Become: A President’s Perspective,” to discover his thoughts on being sensitive to stereotyping: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/rex-e-lee_can-become-presidents-perspective/
Read this story about same-sex attraction that has principles applicable for all God’s children: https://www.lds.org/liahona/2004/09/compassion-for-those-who-struggle?lang=eng
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