discussion guide
Throwback edition
Welcome
T h i s i s w h y “ W h a t d o I re a lly wa n t ?” is such a cha llenging quest ion. Pa st or a nd
It is G od’s pr o mise to yo u that as yo u c o nti nue to l o v e e a c h o t h e r a n d s e e k H i s
a u t h o r , An d y S t a n ley, sums up t his st ruggle wit h t hree ma in st a t ement s:
wisdom in yo ur relatio ns hi p , H e w i l l re ve al H i m s e l f t o y o u i n b e a u t i f u l w a y s .
1 . “ A s l o n g a s w e i n s is t on h a vin g ou r wa y, we won ’t ge t wh a t we re a lly wa n t .”
C oz y u p and div e into w hat Go d has i n s to re f o r you t h r o u g h s o m e h o n e s t
2 . “ W h e n w e g e t o ur wa y, we u s u a lly ge t in ou r own wa y, a n d los e ou r wa y.”
disc u ssio n, reflectio n and p raye r. B e s ure to have y o u r Bi b l e h a n d y . If y o u d o n ’ t
3 . “ If w e a l w a ys d o wh a t we wa n t t o d o, we will e n d u p wh e re we d on ’t
have ac cess to o ne, ch e c k o ut the B i b l e Gate w ay app a v a i l a b l e o n y o u r Ap p l e
want to be.”
o r An d ro id device. Fo r a c us to m D ate Ni g ht I n B o x - F a i t h p l a y l i s t , f e a t u r i n g C h rist ia n a rtists, visit ni ghti nbox es . com /m us i c.
Ja m e s 4: 1-3 c h a l l e nges us wit h t he f ollowing: “ Wha t ca uses qua rrels a nd wha t c a u s e s f i g h t s a m o n g you? I s it not t his, t ha t your pa ssions a re a t wa r wit hin
A s y ou take a tr ip do wn m e m o ry l ane d uri ng to ni g h t ’ s d a t e , p a u s e a n d r e f l e c t
y o u ? Yo u d e s i r e a n d do not ha ve, so you murder. You covet a nd ca nnot obt a in,
o n G od’s pr o visio n o ve r yo ur re l ati o ns hi p thro ug h t h e y e a r s . Ov e r t i m e y o u
s o y o u f i g h t a n d q ua rrel. You do not ha ve, beca use you do not a sk. You a sk
may have ex perienced up s and d o w ns , m i s tak e s an d t r i u m p h s , l e s s o n s
a n d d o n o t r e c e i v e, beca use you a sk wrongly, t o spend it on your pa ssions.”
l earn ed a nd Go d’s abo und i ng grac e . The q ue s ti o n t o a s k y o u r s e l v e s t o n i g h t i s , “What do I really wa nt? ” H i nd s i g ht g i ve s us a c l e ar v i e w o f w h a t w e v a l u e ,
T h e b e a u t y o f t h i s pa ssa ge is t ha t G od is invit ing us t o a sk a nd uncover wha t
reflec t e d in ho w we sp e nd o ur ti m e . A s C hri s t f o l l o w e r s , a r e w e s e e k i n g t o
w e r e a l l y w a n t a n d bring it t o Him; t o live a nd pra y wit h int ent iona lit y; a nd t o
l ive ou t what we truly val ue ?
g i v e u p t h e n o w f o r t he la t er, t he good for t he grea t . When we a sk ourselves “ W h a t d o I r ea l l y w a n t ?”, t he a nswer lurking just undernea t h t he surfa ce is t he
D e sire can be a tr icky thi ng . H ave yo u e ve r tho ugh t b a c k t o a t i m e i n y o u r l i f e
v e r y s a m e t h i n g t h a t our Hea venly Fa t her wa nt s for us. Simply put , it is a joy
when yo u were thankf ul that Go d d i d n’t ans w e r a pa r t i c u l a r p r a y e r t h e w a y y o u
t h a t c a n o n l y b e f ound in t he Holy Spirit . “ For t he kingdom of G od is not a
desire d ? “Go d, if I co u l d j us t d ate hi m /he r,” o r “Go d , i f y o u w o u l d j u s t c o n v i n c e
m a t t e r o f e a t i n g a nd drinking but of right eousness a nd pea ce a nd joy in t he
my p arents to let me g o to thi s p arty,” o r “Go d , I j u s t n e e d t h i s j o b . ” T h e t r u t h
H o l y S p i r i t ” ( Ro m a ns 14:17).
i s, wh at we wa nt to day o f te n e nd s up o b s truc ti ng wh a t w e w a n t t o m o r r o w . W e
Prayer and Reflection:
s ee t h is reflected in many w ays . W hat w e to o k o ut a l o a n f o r t h e n , i s n ’ t w h a t w e wan t n o w. Wha t we sig ne d up f o r the n, i s n’t w hat we s p e n d o u r t i m e o n n o w . W h o we wa nted to dat e the n, i s n’t w ho w e w ant to b e w i t h n o w .
L o o k i n g b a c k o v e r t he yea rs, we see t ha t our pref erences, pla ns a nd desires a l l c h a n g e . Is n ’ t i t s weet t o t hink t ha t we ca n rest in a never-cha nging G od? A G o d w h o w a n t s j oy, pea ce a nd love f or His children, a nd a G od who wa nt s
If w e always get what w e w ant no w , i t m ay k e e p us f r o m w h a t w e
u s t o c o m e t o H i m in pra yer wit h t he t hings our hea rt s long f or? A s G od is
really wa nt later.
s h i f t i n g y o u r f o c u s t onight t o uncover t he t rut h of “Wh a t d o I re a lly wa n t ?”, t a k e s o m e t i m e t o writ e down your t hought s a nd discuss t he following
Ou r c u ltur e praises ins tant g rati f i c ati o n. M o s t o f u s a r e u n s u r e a b o u t w h a t
q u e s t i o n s t o g e t h e r:
we reall y wa nt beca us e w e are d i s trac te d b y the th i n g s b e i n g o f f e r e d t o u s t o
1 . W h a t a r e t h e k ey ch a ra ct e ris t ics t h a t I wa n t t o b e re me mb e re d b y?
qu en c h o ur desires. J e s us , al l thro ugho ut H i s m i ni s t r y , i n v i t e d u s t o a n s w e r t h i s
2 . W h a t d o I r e a l l y va lu e ?
challe n ging questio n: “ Wh at d o I re ally w an t? ” The a n s w e r , H e s a y s , w i l l a l w a y s
3 . In w h a t a r e a s a r e my d e s ire s offe rin g me fle e t in g joy? H ow ca n we work a s a
gu id e us ba ck to The F athe r: “No w m ay the Go d o f h o p e f i l l y o u w i t h a l l j o y a n d
co u p l e t o s h i ft o u r h e a rt s t o s e e k wh a t we re a lly va lu e ?
peace as yo u believe s o that yo u m ay o ve rf l o w w i th h o p e b y t h e p o w e r o f t h e
H ea ven l y F a t h e r , w e t h a n k You for kn owin g a n d lovin g u s s o d e e p ly. Th a n k You for
Holy Sp i rit” ( Ro mans 15 :1 3 ) .
Y o u r W o r d a n d fo r offe rin g u s gra ce a s we s e e k t o d is cove r wh a t we re a lly wa n t . W e l o ve Y o u a n d w e a s k for You r wis d om t o gu id e u s . Ame n .