2009 – Issue Twenty – London
Photographer: Jay Eff
The Introduction
W
hile our attitudes to sex are constantly evolving, it never ceases to fascinate us. Desire, beauty, love and intercourse have inspired creativity since the emergence of what humans call ‘culture’. There are those who argue that we live in an over-sexualised, phallocentric, porno-fuelled society…and that it’s bad for kids, women and increasingly, men too. They might even be right. However, glance back at ancient culture and it appears that sex pervaded every aspect of life. Early philosophers and thinkers believed the key to the mysteries of the universe could be found in the carnal magic of sex. From the Land of the Pharaohs to Bacchanalian Rome it seems that sex was very much on the menu, even if you weren’t that hungry. While ancient societies indulged in wild orgies and wore little to cover their modesty, today’s hardcore world is fuelled by commercial interests, rather than a search for spiritual truth. Based on a survey by the Medical Research Council, the number of men paying for sex has doubled over the last decade. Nearly one in ten of all males admitted they’d coughed up for a leg over during the previous five years. This largely hidden world has been explored by author and artist Nina Silvert. In an extract from her unpublished book ‘Crack’ she
explores the mind of a coked-up hostess while her body’s devoured by a punter. It’s not for the prudish. Being the highest paid male porn star in the world sounds like a plum job, right? Aiden Shaw is so (in)famous, a character in Sex & the City was named after him, but being an international sex object has its drawbacks. Now on his sixth book, Shaw’s unravelling is well documented, but yes, he’s not just a big, handsome penis. He’s a good writer, too. Brody Dalle is the pin-up princess of the punk world. In this issue, we find out why she isn’t comfortable with that image and how she dealt with being The Most Hated Woman on Earth. As editor of Hecklerspray, Stuart Heritage is best known for his brutal observations of celebrity culture. Here he celebrates the educational qualities of the erotic thriller and, naturally, mourns its demise. If you wanted to learn how contemporary socialites swap partners while sipping champagne in their underwear, you should attend a Killing Kittens party. Julia Rebaudo interviewed Emma Sayle, the host and creator of these elitist sex soirées and, like all of us, wondered if she’d get past their stringent door policy….. We all know that sex is used to sell everything from shower gel
to breakfast cereal, but how does it feel to peddle porn to potential punters? Rhys Sutheran discovered that ogling back to back skin flicks is akin to castration. Oh, yes, it was harder than he thought. Tom Le Bree found that if you want to see the future, the porn industry is probably there already, with bells on…in 3D. Laury Jaugey-Paget is the go-to-girl for lesbian erotica, funky house remixes or tongue-and-groove wainscoting. No, really. Jay Eff has photographed porn stars and glamour models for over 25 years, but for us, he’s strayed into erotic horticulture. Hailing from France and Bavaria, respectively, they’re this issue’s featured photographers. Our designers Topright have created a special artwork for this feature which involved trembling scissors, vintage porn and patience. Oh, and for the fist time ever, we’re profiling some of the Club’s members…stop sniggering at the back. This might be the Sex Issue, but we’re determined to do it safely and with dignity. Coming up in the club, look out for more Music Sessions with our friends at the Barclaycard Mercury Prize. But, the most important date for your diary is The Hospital Club Birthday Party on Friday November 20th. Head to the Highlights section to peruse forthcoming events, or check the website for more details.
Behind Closed Doors Artists: Nik Mackey & Adam Bloomfield topright.co.uk
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CONTENTS Features
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7
8
Reluctant Sex Symbol
20 Every Time You Masturbate God Kills A Kitten
The Hard Sell
22 Club News & Events
Sordid Truths
23 We’re Excited and You?
The Queen of Punk talks to Stewart Who?
Rhys Sutheran drowns in a lake of porn
Extract from Aiden Shaw’s new novel
Julia Rebaudo interviews the saucy Emma Sayle
What we’ve been up to, why we’ve been doing it
Illustration by CiR visual artist Roxane Borujerdi
11 Sophia
24 The Hospital Club Happenings
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26 Members Profiles
Laurence Jaugey-Paget gets behind the lens
13
Nice Girls Don’t
Confessions of an erotic photographer
Marcia
14 Crack
29 Members Film and Events Highlights
Extract from Nina Silvert’s sensational novel
16 The Golden Age of The Erotic Thriller
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Who are you…and what do you do?
Calendars
She’s no wallflower…..
If you were there, you might be here. If not, see what you missed
The future, in words and pictures
32 Speed Dates
Stuart Heritage gets wistful
Nadia
Where to be and when….
33 Concise Calendar
In black & white…and colour
Dates for the diary in one handy glance
Hardware Software
Tom Le Bree ponders porn’s evolution
Nina Silvert
Laurence Jaugey-Paget
Aiden Shaw
Rhys Sutheran
Stewart Who?
Duncan Cargill
CONTRIBUTORS
Editor
Stewart Who?
Nik Mackey Adam Bloomfield
Jay Eff
Roxane Borujerdi
Julia Rebaudo
Tom Le Bree
Stuart Heritage
Editorial team:
Fabia Palliser, Oliver Morton Sub Editors:
Suzanne Clode, Dan Thorne Art Direction, Design and Artwork:
topright.co.uk 01737 558 990
© The Hospital Group Ltd 2008. The copyright and contents of this publication are owned by The Hospital Group and no unauthorized copies of the whole or part may be made without express permission of The Hospital Group Ltd.
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Reluctant SEX SYMBOL It’s a steamy, hazy, noisy afternoon in Camden and a bunch of punked out teenage girls are sat on the street outside the Electric Ballroom. They’re determined to be front row at tonight’s Spinnerette gig, ‘cos they wanna pay homage to the lead singer and hardcore heroine that is BRODY DALLE. You see, she’s a classic rock ‘n’ roll pin-up; girls wanna be her, boys wanna do her. Well, that’s a bit unfair, there’s more to Dalle than her behind-thebike-sheds rebel beauty. Her singing voice can range from a skin shredding industrial howl to coquettish pop siren…oh, and she plays the guitar like a mean bastard with a big boner.
Y
ou might say Dalle comes with a lot of baggage. Either that, or she’s lived a lot. Hailing from Melbourne, she grew up in a dysfunctional, destructive home. By the age of 9, Dalle had watched her mother kick out one abusive man before remarrying and having kids with another. By 13, she’d been booted from several schools, preferred sleeping rough to crashing at home and found solace in heroin. After a few years of making Amy Winehouse seem tame, she swapped needles and smack for the squall of the guitar and formed an all girl punk band called Sourpuss. She’s been raising hell and breaking hearts ever since.
Upstairs at the Electric, in a room that’s as bleak and unwelcoming as a suburban crack den, Dalle and her band mate Tony Bevilacqua perch on a leatherette sofa. They’ve both just stepped off stage from a sound check, and while Bevilacqua has the floppy, laid back charm of a rock ‘n’ roll Muppet, Dalle’s a little wary. Considering the grief she’s endured from both the press and her own fans, it’s quite understandable. As the lead singer of The Distillers, she used to glug a bottle of vodka and smoke a pack of cigs as pre-gig prep, so how does she warm up for shows now?
“I can’t smoke a pack of cigarettes anymore and if I drank a bottle of vodka, I’d probably pass out and die. I think it’s just tolerance, I built up such a tolerance back then….you know, and I was 24.” Did she ever feel pressured to be as rock ‘n’ roll as the boys? “Not pressured, but keeping up with them, yeah. If they did thirteen shots, I did thirteen shots. But I black out…and do really stupid things like punch people and take my clothes off.” Tony Bevilacqua admits that despite Dalle’s fierce reputation, he often feels protective towards her.
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“It’s kinda hard when you’re playing and there’s some drunk asshole shouting, show me your tits and show me your pussy. It sucks. You wanna go over there and punch ‘em in the face, but you’re playing and can’t really do that,” he groans, wearily. While Dalle’s fostered an image of wayward rage, the woman sat in front of me is sensitive, cautious and genuine. Okay, so you wouldn’t pick a fight with her, but she’s a far cry from the snarling vixen portrayed in the press. Her love life has attracted uproar, hatred and hoo-ha in a scene that judges women far harsher than
Photo: Chapman Baehler
Interview by Stewart Who?
men. Who knew rock ‘n’ roll could be so narrow minded? She met Tim Armstrong, frontman of punk rock band Rancid, aged 17. When Dalle turned 18, they got engaged and fled Melbourne to set up shop in Los Angeles. After a stormy 6-year marriage, she left Armstrong and got it on with Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age. This move caused the punk community to react like cracked out Daily Mail readers, spitting with fury and aiming the bulk of their bile at Dalle. On the upside, this explosive outrage helped fuel the success of The Distillers critically acclaimed album Coral Fang. The band had the good humour to dub
their US gigs ‘The Most Hated Woman on Earth Tour’.
be more art-focused and call the shots.”
She sighs with careworn resignation at the mention of that period and obviously doesn’t want to drag it up again. “Stuff goes away”, she whispers. “It dies down. It’s just a little echo in the past. Scary nonsense.”
Asked how that strategy’s working, Dalle fires back, “It’s working out great. I’m not having to fight for artwork to be approved.” This might be in reference to The Distillers’ album Coral Fang, whose gory image of a nude woman on the cross was hastily altered when America’s big record chains refused to stock it. The current artwork for Spinnerette’s debut album is a close-up shot of Dalle’s panties and corset. It’s super tame, but when the band performed on Letterman, the
Originally signed to Sire, Dalle gave the mainstream record industry a laquered finger, by going independent with her new project Spinnerette. She told NME, “I didn’t want to do a fucking monkey dance for people who don’t care about art. I want to
artwork was blurred by the CBS network. Lacy knickers are too racy for puritanical America, even after midnight. The fashion world loves to embrace rock’s leading ladies; think Courtney & Versace or Madonna & Vuitton. If it’s not an ad campaign, then the labels get hip rock chicks to pout in the front row. So is Dalle’s absence from this symbiotic circus a conscious choice? “It’s funny you should say that,” Dalle admits, “I did a photoshoot yesterday for Pop magazine. It was a lot of leather and leopard, so it’s
Cont... 5
Cont... not too far from what I do…and recently Marc Jacobs wanted to fly us to Tokyo to do his fashion show.” Happily married to the ginger punk-hunk that is Josh Homme, with a 3 year-old baby girl, Dalle seems less tormented by the demons of her youth. As a former self-harmer, I ask how she broke that cycle and what advice she’d give to young girls who’re tempted to cut themselves. She takes a long, deep breath and I find myself apologising for the heavy question. “That’s okay,” she says, quite sweetly. “I was sexually abused when a kid, so I think a lot of the self harming goes along with that. Most of the young women I’ve met, come into contact with, or read about (who’ve been abused) have all like, cut or fucked themselves up….and the same for some guys. For me, it’s just something I grew out of. I just didn’t want to do it anymore.” With such an army of young, female fans, does she feel the pressures of acting as a role model? “You mean accountable, responsible? Yeah, I do, but that’s not fair. First and foremost, I’m an artist and I make music. I want my music to speak, rather than anything else. For me, music is healing and helps you get through all kind of things. It punctuates and chronicles your life, and I hope that’s what does it. You know, sometimes I’m gonna do things that don’t look so good, or sound so good and I’m very opinionated and some peoople don’t like my opinions…so there’s not much I can do about it, you know. I just hope that girls can make their own decisions and make the decisions that are right for them…and not make them based on what anybody else thinks of them.”
Distillers’ roadie for four and a half years, then upgraded to singer/guitarist in 2000. He seems integral to Spinnerette, and claims the secret to their enduring relationship is their ‘brother and sister’ closeness. Does it piss him off that the press tend to focus on Dalle?
on her, but you can kinda scoot them in a direction.”
“No. Never has”, he drawls. “I mean, I’m just a guitar player. I don’t think of myself as a very interesting person. I don’t really have much to say.”
“Sometimes, yeah. I mean, I think if I were 10 or 15 lbs lighter right now, things might be a little bit different.”
Asked how she feels about being portrayed as a sex symbol, Dalle admits, “I don’t feel very sexy”, she deadpans. “At all.” Does she feel a pressure associated with that image?
Her sex symbol status makes visceral sense when she’s on stage, howling and roaring in your face. Sitting with her in a room and watching her perform prove wildly differing experiences. With a guitar slung over her shoulder like an assault rifle, she evokes a raw sensuality that’s refreshingly genuine. She’s not aping the pseudo-porn poses that are de rigueur for lip-glossed girl bands. She’s sexy ‘cause she’s in control and ruling the stage. It’s fuck you and fuck me, all at once. Just in case you’re in any doubt, she has ‘Fuck Off ’ tattooed on her left arm.
It’s obvious he’s being unnecessarily humble and when asked if he’s telling the truth, Dalle gets cross at his demure denials and flags him up as the tour entertainer. They both snigger when I ask why rock music and heroin seem to go together so well. “It’s funny, different genres (of music) do different drugs,” says Dalle. “I don’t think we’ve ever been part of the genre who really do heroin, it’s more coke and speed, you know, uppers.” “The thing about coke and speed is that it doesn’t enhance music at all,” adds Bevilacqua. “In fact, it makes it horrible.”
Like many women in the public eye, her weight seems to be discussed endlessly and Bevilacqua points out the inherent sexism of this situation. Nobody really comments on his choice of stage wear, but Dalle is subject to the dictates of the fashion police. “I don’t mind so much the dressing up, ‘cause I love it,” she admits. “It’s more the other thing.”
It seems that everyone, including myself, enjoys chatting about drugs. We all conclude that coke isn’t creative, opiates can be inspiring and E might leave you dancing to the sound of a reversing lorry. Does Dalle worry about female role models for her daughter, like, how would she feel if little Camille Harley started idolising Paris Hilton?
As someone who grew up in relatively laid back Australia, does she find it hard to reconcile her pro-choice, anti establishment views with the God fearing country she lives in now?
“I would fucking slit my wrists,” spits Dalle. “I’m hoping that because of the environment she’s growing up in, that’s not gonna happen. I’m not forcing anything
“It’s interesting, she says, warming to the topic. “I wasn’t baptised, but I went to a Catholic girls’ school.
Tony Bevilacqua was The 6
I was raised with this atheist, political, lefty, feminist mother and she sent me to the Catholic girls’ school so I wouldn’t be around boys. I don’t think she realised the impact that would have on me. I was the only person under 18 who was pro-choice.” She seems at a loss to work out how to bridge the divide between the religious right’s ‘pro-life’ thinking and her own views. Referring to ‘Lake of Fire’, Tony Kaye’s notoriously graphic documentary on the topic, she asks, “What can you do when people have such intense feelings and opposing views?” Does she feel in any way fearful ‘coming out’ as pro choice? “Not at all,” she says with confidence, citing the liberal hippy values of southern California where she lives. She thinks for a few moments, then says, “Humans are so complicated and so, er…” “Stupid?!” interrupts Tony. She was right, he has perfect comic timing. Everyone falls about laughing. That night, I return to the Electric Ballroom to watch them perform. By any standards, it’s a spellbinding performance. Dalle is on fire, her voice is spine tingling and it’s easy to see why she’s kept Tony Bevilacqua on board. He works his guitar with a frenzied skill that’s breathtaking. I grin all the way home, clutching a signed CD like a teenage girl. Brody Dalle may have grown up and changed her tune slightly, but even if she doesn’t feel it, she’s sexy, occasionally frightening…and without doubt, the coolest woman in rock. All Babes Are Wolves by Spinnerette is out on the 5th of October. Watch Spinnerette videos by joining the ‘Magazine’ group at thehospitalclub.com
Rhys Sutheran
It’s a well-known fact that sex sells. Nothing new there, it’s always been an easy win to attach whatever you’re selling to a bit of sweaty flesh. A promising cleavage or a chiselled chest and often, that’s enough to grab attention. It appears that advertising ‘creatives’ the world over have been coining it for years via such original efforts. Just let the boobs do the work and wait for some industry chump to throw awards at you.
M
aybe I’ve worked at the wrong agencies, but I’ve never had the good fortune to work a brief that can be dispatched with this little effort. However, I have been on the seedier side of the fence. That is, trying to sell sex. Not in a red-light, street corner, 20-quid-hand-shandy way fortunately – I’d be deeper in poverty than I am now if that was the case. The only time I’ve whored myself out is pitching for work and, like most writers, if you’ve got the cash, I’ve got the words. A few years ago, a good friend of mine was marketing manager for what was apparently Europe’s largest mail-order sex shop. And he needed the right words to make dirty buggers throughout the UK part with their cash in return for porn, poppers and some of the most ridiculously oversized plastic phalluses I’ve ever seen. Now, you might not believe me, but I’ve never really been a massive fan of porn. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude – I appreciate the female form as much as the next man, and I wouldn’t relish the idea of my mum checking my internet browsing
history. But the sight of grunting, muscle-bound dudes bludgeoning orange skinned, plastic-chested blondes with their 3-foot megadongs is more intimidating than anything else. But it was a paying gig with the added bonus of seeming like it might be a bit of a laugh whilst working from home so why not? Sign me up. At last, here was a chance to use my filthy mouth for the forces of good. I even replaced my trusty thesaurus with the copy of Viz’s Profanisaurus that usually stays in the lavatory and, armed with the extensive sampler DVDs that I’d been sent, sat down with my equally potty mouthed flatmates to come up with some saucy lines to sell some skin. The brief was pretty simple. 100 words on each film to go in the catalogue and on the website. Easy, right?
was that my ideas of the porn industry had been shaped by our American cousins and what apparently sells on this side of the pond is separated by much more than just an ocean. Gone were the fears of inadequacy when confronted by Herculean cocksfor-hire. What replaced them were a succession of grey-skinned, hairy backed old guffers that probably work in the local cab office by day. And they weren’t making sweet love to curvaceous, LA-tanned fuckbunnies. Oh no. Far from it. I’m sure one of the women from ‘Horny Housewives’ serves fry ups to builders in a greasy spoon in Penge. One of them looked like my Auntie Barbara for fucks sake. I almost cried when I got to ‘Granny Fucks a Tranny 5’. This was not what I’d signed up for. But unfortunately it was. And there was no escape from watching the whole lot, and pitching them in a way that sold each DVD as the sexiest story ever filmed. Surely this wasn’t the best the UK had to offer? Apparently so.
I would have thought that this stuff sells itself. Your average porn connoisseur just wants to see hot chicks and well hung chaps doing the nasty in a variety of exotic setting, don’t they? Surely all I have to do is give the gist, get pulses racing and wait for the bucks to roll in…. What I hadn’t considered though, 7
Last month, whilst working on a project for a blue-chip client, I was chatting to a fellow writer some years my senior and who carried the kind of professional experience I currently dream of. Talk turned to previous clients. “You know the hardest gig I’ve ever had?” he asked. “I used to write the reader’s letters page for Mayfair”. So, sorry to burst any bubbles out there, but those tales of suburban orgies weren’t sent in by ‘Hornybird, 35, Surbiton’ but were in fact penned by a bald, slightly porky chap in his late 40s. The point is that like any advertising ‘creative’, I’ve tried to spice up some pretty unsexy brands in my time. And after having my retinas singed by home-grown Britporn, maybe having scantily clad vixens and bronzed adonises as the lynchpin of your creative pitch isn’t such a bad thing. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has sucked the sex appeal out of a brief faster than writing for the porn industry. The real tragedy is that I’m far too embarrassed to put the whole sordid affair on my CV. Sex may sell, but it’s a whole lot harder to sell sex.
an extract from
SORDID TRUTHS Selling My Innocence for a Taste of Stardom The man’s voice seemed to land more heavily on the word gay. Maybe he wanted to put a gay rights or prejudice slant on the debate. “The said artwork was displayed in the window of the clothes shop All American Boy on Castro, and this is when the first complaints began.” His use of the words the said sounded like an attempt at courtroom lingo. I wondered how the complaints were worded. Shaw’s dick is too big, too hard, and too in-your-face? A man in the crowd stood up. “But for his cowboy boots and hat, Shaw is naked,” he said. Ironic, I thought, that a shop used a photo of somebody wearing no clothes to sell clothes. “In addition, he does have a hard-on.” The man seemed to have trouble getting the word hard-on out of his mouth. “Personally, I did not find this offensive, but I just want to be a voice of reason.” “Thank you,” said the speaker at the front, and continued without really addressing the man’s comments. “The image was also printed on flyers. Here the press reported of how these got into a children’s schoolyard.” “Yeah!” and “No!” the horrified crowd shouted. I closed the door once more, this time out of exasperation, and let out a heavy sigh. Before anybody could spot me, I darted across the road, turned onto Castro, and walked towards Market Street. It was all too much, ridiculous in fact. How could they take this so seriously?
“Aiden Shaw,” said a voice. I closed the door to the meeting hall on Fifteenth Street and leaned back against it. This was part weariness, due to lack of sleep. After a twoday splurge of drug “enhanced” sex with God knows who and how many men, the remnants of drugs still lingered in my system. More importantly, it was to ensure that the door was in fact closed behind me and the weight of my body would keep it that way. Surely, anybody in my position would have done the same thing, seeing all those heated faces. Again and again I heard my name, the angry tones muffled by the heavy door. “Aiden Shaw. Aiden Shaw.” Curiosity got the better of me. I turned around and opened the door a crack, so nobody would know I was there. A surprisingly large number of people had gathered for the town meeting. The man standing at the front skimmed his notes as he spoke. He seemed very organized and his jeans looked ironed. “I’m sure you’re all aware of the events of the last few weeks, but I’ll replay them to open up the discussion. The portrait of Mr. Shaw is art, not pornography, created by the artists Pierre and Gilles and used for a poster to advertise a gay club night.” The people sitting to either side of the speaker all nodded, with varying degrees of speed and enthusiasm. 8
Cont...
Photo courtesy of Flora Evans
By Aiden Shaw
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Cont...
Their reaction had gone too far from a reality I could relate to. My instinct was to get away, hide, and give myself time to consider what to do. There was a bar on my left called Daddy’s. Parting the strips of rubber that kept out the weather and glances from passersby, I entered the dimly lit room. The early evening crowd appeared to be made up of alcoholics, the frustrated on their way home from work, and anybody high enough to need their company—the ideal scenery for knocking back vodka chased with lager. The barman was a hairy clone with a V-shaped torso, completely stunning if not a bit of a caricature. An experienced barman knows how to work a tip, and I guessed this one had been doing the job for years. The drink he gave me looked to be about six shots. Little did he know I only wanted to feel jaded, not really be it. I took a swig of vodka regardless, feeling masculine and cool and maybe a little self-destructive. It was too much, and made me retch. Attempting to settle my stomach, I took a few big gulps of lager. I still wanted to vomit, but the feeling wasn’t intense or urgent. Did I look like a seasoned drinker, like the men to my left and right and all around me? Pondering this, I drew backwards, away from the bar into the darkness. Feeling beer crates against the back of my thighs, I sat down. Every few minutes, silhouettes of customers moved in front of me, heading to the toilet or escaping outside to the street. My mind swung back to the grotesque spectacle at the meeting hall. Somebody was walking towards me. “Are you . . . Aiden Shaw?” he said. No, I thought, at the same time nodding yes. “Cool! You don’t know how many fights you’ve caused between me and my boyfriend.” “I’m sorry,” I said, managing to construct a laugh but hoping my words would end this interaction. “Don’t be sorry. I mean, he’s just jealous.” I guessed this meant the speaker fancied me. “That’s sweet of you to say.” “Anyway, I’ll leave you alone. I just wanted to tell you I’m your biggest fan.” He looked embarrassed. “Shucks!” I
said, acting embarrassed myself. “I’m flattered.” “You must get that all the time.” “Enough.” “Anyway, like I said, I’ll leave you alone.” He shook my hand and turned to go, then turned back. He scrunched up his nose and said, “It must be kind of weird being you.” “Sometimes,” I admitted, taking his statement as a question. Not wanting to be too serious, I followed this with another laugh, wondering how believable it was. It must have worked, because he responded in kind. His laugh rose in pitch to a whooping sound. Shaking his head, he said, to himself it seemed, “Aiden Shaw.” Grinning widely, he slapped his thigh and added, “How cool is that!” I thought the appropriate response this time was to smile. He went back to his buddy at the bar. Alone again and feeling the vodka, I stared at the wooden floor. Who the fuck was Aiden Shaw? Some porn star character I’d created. This monster was in no way like ‘Little Fella’, my nickname for the inner me, my mum’s soft, shy, blushing son, the person I’d grown up with, the one I actually liked. Sometimes it felt as though the lumbering, muscle-bound Brit-WithThe-Big-Dick (as some magazine called me) had crushed Little Fella. There had been good reason for my creating him. Aiden Shaw was a rebellion against my religious upbringing, when I believed gods existed and that the random one my parents had indoctrinated me with was actually listening and gave a damn about anything, let alone how I behaved. What kind of monstrous institution would encourage such a fantasy in a child’s innocent, trusting soul? Somebody else was heading my way. Panicked, I took another swig of vodka. The figure passed me by, moved through the rubber strips, and left the bar. In a half hour or so, I’d feel more comfortable leaving myself. It would be darker then, and due to the alcohol, I’d be a little more numb. At the beginning of my “career,” one of my clients had told me my dick would be the making of me, adding, “and maybe your ruin.” That had been years ago. What a journey it had been since then. 10
Sordid Truths (Paperback) by Aiden Shaw is published by Alyson Publications in November For more Shaw join the ‘Magazine’ group at thehospitalclub.com
Laurence Jaugey-Paget is this issue’s featured photographer and her images can be found throughout the magazine.
Sophie Photographer: Laurence Jaugey-Paget
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Nice Girls Don’t
featured photographer
Interview by Stewart Who?
Laurence Jaugey-Paget was a hugely popular London DJ in the mid-‘90s working under the moniker DJ Slamma. She teamed up with Mark Bambach to form the underground remixing team Beatroute/2 Phat Ladies. Not content with mixing up a storm in venues ranging from The Ministry of Sound to The Pyramid in New York, Laury boasted a sideline in erotic photography. Her images have appeared in ‘The Lovers’ Guide Encyclopaedia - the Definitive Guide to Sex and You’ (Bloomsbury), ‘The Good, the Bad and the Gorgeous - Popular Culture’s Romance with Lesbianism’ (Pandora) and ‘Nice Girls Don’t’ (Konkursbuch). In addition to her continuing music production, Laury has an interior design business called ‘Elles Décor’.
When did you first start taking photographs?
Have you ever taken a picture that was deemed too hardcore?
I started my passion over 24 years ago with my ex-girlfriend’s Pentax ME Super.
Hardcore has a different definition for different people. I wouldn’t go too offensive but then again, some of my work could be too much for some people. I would regard some of my work as erotic and not porn, but when I did a few shots with women wearing strap-on dildos, it might have not been appreciated by some.
We’ve published quite a number of your nudes; how do you get the models to relax?
I think it’s a combination of trust, alcohol and the relaxing environment. The models have usually seen my work before and know that I’m a professional. Where do you find the models?
Some of the models are my friends, girlfriends or people who’ve seen my work before. People approach me and ask to be photographed or if I see someone interesting, I’ll introduce myself. Being a DJ has made it easier to choose. You’ve contributed to quite a few erotic books - what do you think is the raciest photo you’ve ever done?
I was working on a book called Making Out, using a variety of lesbian sex stories. My girlfriend at the time was happy to model with another woman. It was a full-on bedroom scene; the other model was straight but curious to play with another woman. Because I’m not the jealous type, I really enjoyed photographing the action. The funny part is when I ran out of film, I left the room but my girlfriend got a bit annoyed, because she wanted me to watch all the way.
Have you ever slept with a model?
Yes I have, especially after flirting while I take the photos, but not as a habit. Which photograph are you most proud?
There’s a series of images that I did for a book call ‘Hollywoodn’t’. I used a lot of my friends from around the gay scene to represent the Forbidden Gay Hollywood, including Regina Fong, Lily Savage and other fabulous London personalities.
You take erotic pictures of women, how do you think your sexuality informs your work?
When I started photography, I wanted to show images of real lesbians, so I started photographing my friends. Sexy images became easier to do because 20 years ago, a lot of lesbians were into experimenting and exploring their sexuality.
You photographed Paul O’Grady back in the day, what was he like to work with?
Paul was brilliant. I went to see him at the Vauxhall Tavern, then after his show I asked him if he wanted to be part of the ‘Hollywoodn’t’ project. Paul said yes straight away and was very excited to be Baby Jane. He was so good; it took longer to set the scene than shoot the photos. I was having trouble focussing because he made me laugh so much.
How and why are your pictures different from those taken by a (heterosexual) man?
Lesbians or women feel more relaxed with a woman photographer because it doesn’t feel as pervy as it could seem to be with a straight man.
Who would you most like to photograph?
Do you find the taking of the pictures in any way erotic for yourself?
There have been times when a photography session became a flirting game with the model and I. Very sexy! Sometimes it was better than sex... LOL
In what way does your company “Elles Décor” differ from others in the business?
Elles Décor is run by 2 women. Tina has over 20 years of experience in decorating and property refurbishment. We are exemplary in our work and manner.
Sophie Marceau. She is a beautiful French actress.
djslamma.com ellesdecor.co.uk myspace.com/djslamma
You had much success as a DJ/ producer…how do you think clubland has changed in the past 10 years?
To see more of Laury’s work join the ‘Magazine’ group at thehospitalclub.com
Well, one of the reasons I stopped playing clubs is because the music
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has become very commercial. You can’t play in a regular bar or club and not play pop house. I’m fortunate that my music production and my decorating business are doing well enough to allow me to choose to pick my gigs. I remember when it was a social thing to be a DJ. We’d meet in record shops, go for drinks and talk about the latest underground tune. Now it’s all on download and the DJ scene is catching up on Facebook. It’s had a big impact on the music scene, because you don’t have to be a DJ to play anymore. CDs and computers have replaced vinyl and DJs get pocket money as a wage. I don’t feel that DJs are respected in the way they used to be.
Marcia Photographer: Laurence Jaugey-Paget
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A R C
the from t c xtra An e
ubl
unp
el…
v d no ishe
I bathe and select the evening’s recipe for seduction in terms of hairstyle, make-up, fragrance and a slinky dress, over carefully chosen sheer lingerie.
T
hat night I get booked to sit with Richard, a handsome dark haired Englishman with innocent blue eyes. He’s a home-loving type who’s been brought here as part of a corporate outing. I imagine him laughing later with his wife about the night’s entertainment: paid flirts and semi-naked dancers. Or better, fantasising about me while he’s in bed with her. There are eight of us at the table: four instant short term couples, knocking back (or over) expense account champagne. Richard and I get on OK, and having discussed possibilities we both know our acquaintance will be over once he’s left the club. Now just working for a good tip before he leaves, I become less aggressively sexual and more someone I feel he’d be comfortable with. I get on his wavelength and try to find common ground. I’m practised at being good company, morphing into whatever’s required. It’s almost second nature. It’s a trick that pays my wages and
about twelve. I get my tip and leave the table.
keeps me popular. In this instance, though I’m a confirmed city dweller, I join him in praising the virtues of country living.
At a hostess club you don’t cut in on another girl’s action, so I subtly stroke Oscar’s arse in passing and head to the bar, hoping he’ll follow. He doesn’t, so while a punter buys me a glass of champagne and asks where I’m from, I watch Oscar and the girl in the mirror. This Lolita’s beginning to get on my nerves and I wish she’d just leave him alone.
Soon the other hostesses and I start trying to organise our tips as the party’s stopped buying champagne and there’s still enough time for another booking. I’m flushed and laughing when I look round and see Oscar standing nearby grinning at me. His presence gives me a jolt inside, and my face registers “Oh thank God, rescue me!” before I can stop it.
When I notice him looking round for me at the table I’ve left, I act as though the guy I’m drinking with interests me. Then the lights come up and the game ends. The childwoman vanishes and Oscar strolls casually towards me as I try to slide off my stool gracefully. “See you at the next place” he says with a wink and then leaves.
I quickly reason it’s just that I’ve acknowledged him as a person, not only a punter, and as someone I can laugh and have sex with as myself, not whichever chick I’m pretending to be that night. Plus I find him attractive. Richard by now is too drunk to notice the sudden waning of my attention as Oscar, in my direct line of vision, starts caressing a hostess who looks
Rudenzi’s is over the drugs bust and seems to be running as usual. I wave hello to my favourite
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barman, who smiles and looks to my right and behind me. I turn and see Oscar, who moves in close and puts a hand on my waist. “Bloody Mary?” “Hallo! Yes please. Just going to powder my nose.” “Don’t be long” he says, and almost touches his lips to the skin on my neck then inhales my scent and lets out a sigh, which is almost vocal. I get goose bumps. When I come back, Jade’s cornered him and is rudely angling for a drink. “Stupid bloke,” she says to me, “He’s getting on my nerves.” “Leave him alone!” I say. “I like this man.” He gets us all drinks and leaves a generous tip for the barman, who for once, looks pleased with my choice of company, and tells Oscar as he gives him his change that I’m a “lovely girl.” I sit on my usual barstool and Oscar stands close to my legs, the
Nina Silvert by Marc Wayland, 2009
By Nina Silvert
fine wool of his suit touching my stockings. The stool is tall enough for the tops of my thighs to be seen from above if I sit in a certain way. I allow him to catch a glimpse up my dress occasionally as I shift position. Being close to him is turning me on, I think he can tell. I cross and uncross my legs too often. The club starts to fill and he suggests getting some coke. In the wake of the bust the usual dealers aren’t there so I go outside to make a call but there’s no answer. Back in the club I find Oscar talking coke deals to a plump sassy girl in a wig who I don’t know. Later on, after he’s scored, he says in the taxi, “That really pissed you off when I was talking to that girl. I could tell.” I’m surprised at his perceptiveness and feel caught out, so invent an excuse. “Well . . . yes, that’s because she’s not the type of girl you should talk business with. She’d take you for a mug.”
thinking about doing to you now, perfect. . . oh yes, perfect.” All the while undoing his tie and dropping his trousers and underwear, so I can see he has a fierce hard-on, taking my hand and pulling it up behind me, so that I’m captive, gently held with a hint of force as he guides me to the velvet couch. Still in that soft voice . . . “You’re so beautiful, so expensive, and so filthy, I’m going to tie you up and make you wait ‘til you crave me. The way you walked into the bar in that dress I might lift right up very soon . . .” I’m quiet now. I let myself be controlled by the rhythm of his words and the heat growing between us. He bends me across the sofa and rubs against me from behind, gently reaches up my skirt and pulls off my knickers, touches me gently with his hand up between my legs then walks away. “You’re not allowed to move, OK?” I wait for him, wanting him, remembering last time, so that my cunt aches. He moves behind
Back at his flat he lays out some lines on a glass-topped table and says, “Before you touch this I want you to tell me something about yourself. Something, not nothing.” I weigh the option and tell him I’m more likely to do that after the coke, so I take a line then say, “HA! I’m not telling you a THING!’” Then I say something that seems clever and true for that drunken moment: “One day there may come a time when I don’t have to do this anymore. I mean whoring. But I might just do it anyway!” I grin and grab his belt with a fake evil laugh. He starts to talk taking scarcely a breath in a soft voice almost whispering. “It was perfect tonight the way I saw you, the way you looked at me, the dress you’re wearing, what you just said, the look in your eyes. The way you sit there now. Look at your legs, my God, your nipples were showing through your dress all the time we were together, you’re hot, and you’re warm and just a little bit cold . . .what I’m
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me, close and teasing for just long enough, touches me gently with a finger, puts it deep into my wetness then pulls my dress up over my hips. Down on his knees now he holds me open and pushes his tongue inside me and laps my juice ‘til I start to moan. He stands up, groans and pushes his dick into me sudden and hard. His rhythm is solid, his grinding deep, and it goes on and on. In time with his thrusting he tells me it feels good, tells me how he’s wanted me, tells me he’s making me cum and cum. Again we don’t stop ‘til he has to leave for the office. He gives me a cheque for the same amount as last time, which is less than I’d normally accept, and also a form of payment I don’t usually accept. He asks me to call him in the week, again suggesting dinner on Friday. Nina Silvert is a performance artist, singer and former bass guitarist in The Offset. For more details about this novel and her other work go to www.myspace/ninasilvert To read more of Nina’s book join the ‘Magazine’ group at thehospitalclub.com
“ Yes, I am capable of playing a variety of emotionally complex roles”
SHARON STONED
“ Oh, and by the way, check THESE out!”
ENTIRE MAGAZINE
THE GOLDEN AGE OF THE
BE PREPARED TO WADE THROUGH AN HOUR AND A HALF OF SHIT. TITS. INEVITABLE DRAMATIC BOILER ROOM FIGHT.
LACKING BASIC COMMON SENSE. FLESH. SLEAZY SAXOPHONE. INSULTINGLY DUMB. ACTION-FILLED
PSEUDO-PSYCHOLOGICAL. EROTIC. DID I MENTION TITS? PNEUMATIC BLONDE. CRIME. TITS. TITS. 16
By Stuart Heritage
Believe what you read in the rightwing press - and you should, obviously, because you’re not nearly angry and/or paranoid enough for my liking - and you’ll know that the government wants children to learn about sex at an increasingly young age. So young, in fact, that it won’t be long before an army of stern-looking men are employed to shriek statistics about teenage pregnancy down men’s urethras right before the point of ejaculation.
B
ut people of my generation didn’t need any formal sex education, because people of my generation had the greatest sex education of them all - we lived in the golden age of the erotic thriller.
not berate her for that. The erotic thriller was a rite of passage for these women - a way of saying “Yes, I am capable of playing a variety of emotionally complex roles” while adding “Oh, and by the way, check THESE out!”
Bookended roughly by 1981’s ‘Body Heat’ and 1999’s ‘Eyes Wide Shut’, the golden age of the erotic thriller was a magical time - the midpoint between the past, when mainstream pornography was still thrillingly taboo; and the present day, where pornography has become so mainstream that watching a girl with an eating disorder getting covered in jism by a man with a learning disorder is actually easier than ordering a pizza. Not that you’d want to order a pizza after watching that. Ugh.
Why were erotic thrillers so popular? Well, the tits, obviously. But also, those films could adapt to any subgenre you could think of. There truly was something for everyone. If the traditional pseudopsychological erotic thriller bored you, then why not watch ‘Bound’, the lesbian erotic thriller? Too cerebral? Then what about ‘Fair Game’, the almost insultingly dumb action-filled erotic thriller? Not your cup of tea? Then how about ‘Species’, the sci-fi erotic thriller about a giant-titted sex alien from beyond the stars? Dislike graphic sex scenes altogether? Don’t worry - ‘Goldeneye’, the definitive James Bond movie of the erotic thriller age, even went as far as to include a Russian character who literally humped people to death. Ivana Fukyatadev, that was her name. Probably.
But it was amazing while it lasted. It was a time when all murderers were pneumatic blonde women who lacked the basic common sense to not sleep with the officer investigating their crimes. A time when all sex was accompanied by sleazy saxophone music - not the incessant wah-wah of vintage pornography or the disinterested grunting of real-life intercourse. A time when, yes, Sharon Stone came dangerously close to having a purpose. Looking back now, it seems ridiculous how many actresses had an erotic thriller of their own. Teri Hatcher had one. Gillian Anderson had one. Madonna had one. Cindy Crawford had one. Jessie out of ‘Saved By The Bell’ had one. Kim Basinger... well, Kim Basinger had about 45 of the bastards, but let’s
us to perform cunnilingus on her while lying on broken glass on the bonnet of a car in an abandoned underground carpark. But more than anything, if there’s one thing any of us learnt from erotic thrillers, it’s this - if you want sex, you have to be prepared to wade through an hour and a half of shit you don’t care about to get there. They’re the rules. Ask anyone. Just don’t bother asking what actually happened in any of the films. The plots - irrelevant and convoluted as they were - have all faded away, leaving nothing more than a series of indelible moments. Like Demi Moore seducing Michael Douglas in ‘Disclosure’. Sharon Stone taking her pants off in a restaurant during ‘Sliver’. Al Pacino being patted down by Ellen Barkin in ‘Sea Of Love’. Jane March cooking a steak for Bruce Willis with her fanny out in ‘Colour Of Night’. That bloke from ‘Quantum Leap’ having it away with a woman in a full body stocking, in a garage, in some film I saw part of on TV about eight years ago and blame solely for my acute and ongoing fear of physical intimacy. Golden moments, one and all.
So pervasive were erotic thrillers that there’s a whole generation of men in their twenties and thirties who learnt everything they could ever need to know about sex by growing up watching them. We know that if a woman enjoys sex, she’s probably mentally disturbed. We know that, at best, there’s a 50/50 likelihood that any form of sexual intercourse will climax with a pickaxe through the skull. We know that if we’re ever trapped in a lift with Madonna, she’s definitely either going to beat us off or force
So what happened to the erotic thriller? Some would argue that modern actresses aren’t as eager to bare flesh in films because they’re scared of being typecast as seductresses or, in the case of ‘Crash’, disabled car accident fetishists. Others have said that the last big erotic thriller, ‘Eyes Wide Shut’, intellectualised the genre to 17
such a degree that it simply stopped being fun. But maybe the real reason for the demise of the erotic thriller is the internet. Now anyone with a decent broadband connection can watch out-of-context rumpy pumpy in an instant. You don’t have to bother with exposition or melodrama or the inevitable dramatic boiler room fight to the death - you’re straight in and straight out. And then straight in again. And then out. And in. And out. And so on. Similarly, with so much real porn readily available on the internet, what’s the point of watching two hours of rubbish just to see a 90-second scene where Cindy Crawford pretends to get humped by Baldwin The Lesser in a fleshcoloured codpiece on a train? You could quite easily use that time to watch a small army of Swedish lesbians getting diddled by oiledup sex midgets. You know, if you wanted. So let’s just declare the erotic thriller dead and move on. And let’s have no more ‘Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull’-style comeback attempts, OK? ‘Basic Instinct 2’ was bad enough - the sight of Stan Collymore fingering a 50-year-old woman in a speeding car is officially the exact scientific opposite of sexy and I fear that if this sort of behavior isn’t stomped on immediately, then Michael Douglas is going to start taking his clothes off in films again. And nobody’s perverse enough to watch that, surely. Stuart is a regular contributor to the site. To read more of his work, join the ‘Magazine’ group at thehospitalclub.com
Nadia Photographer: Laurence Jaugey-Paget
Laurence Jaugey-Paget is this issue’s featured photographer and her images can be found throughout the magazine. 18
By Tom Le Bree
I
can be entered anywhere. It’s a methodology even now, nearly ten years later, Hollywood has yet to embrace.
The porn industry has been responsible for a lot of smallerscale technological advances which are easier to verify, and although a little more explicit in their subject matter, a lot more interesting in their ramifications. A top (shelf ) example of this is the 1999 release by studio Digital Playground, ‘Virtual Sex With Jenna’. Described on its cover as ‘the first true interactive sex for your DVD Video Player or DVDRom drive’ allows its users to shape their own experience by choosing camera angles, sexual positions and even Jenna’s mood - which ranges from innocent to nasty, if you are interested. Although probably a far better film than its score of 5.2 on IMDB would have you believe (insert cheap gag about the plot having too many holes in it here), its real value is in its exploration of non-linear story telling. Story telling that doesn’t start at the beginning and end at the end, but
Speaking of Hollywood, an area of particular interest to the skin barons of California is the advance of 3D technology. This year has already seen the release of numerous 3D movies, including the children’s films ‘Coraline’ and ‘Up’. At the other end of the spectrum to these releases, both in terms of spend and subject matter, is the porn business. Porn’s well-documented love affair with 3D dates back to the ‘50s, when silent film star Harold Lloyd shot thousands of contemporary stars in the nude for his 3D book Hollywood Nudes In 3D. It is a technique whose popularity with the adult industry has endured to this day. At 2009’s Erotica LA, one of the biggest events in the adult entertainment calender and the place to peer upon the latest trends in pornography, 3D was one of show’s hottest subjects, with its limitless potential causing many to gush praise. In an interview with Current.TV, the fantastically-named pornographer Matt Morningwood said that it was once necessary to push technology for the sake of the user-experience; but they now experiment with technologies as a safeguard against piracy. As they say, ‘you can’t pirate an experience’. To that end, utilising technology intended for game development, Morningwood’s company, Pink Visual, creates what is possibly the world’s only only 3D porn specifically for the iPhone.
t was allegedly the pornographers who pushed VHS over Betamax, the latter being more widely used at the time, and arguably the better medium. The reason for this, depending on who you ask, was because Sony wouldn’t allow porn on Betamax. Then years later, the very same pornographers supposedly abandoned VHS in support of DVD - a format which made it easier for users to find their favourite scenes onehandedly. Even today the adult entertainment industry is wading into these types of battles; it is rumoured to have decided as a whole, Blu-Ray is better for a ‘bit o’ blue’ than HD-DVD.
If the virtual world isn’t enough, and you want something that is a step further on from just 3D, then the RealTouch could be just the device for you. Developed by a former NASA Engineer it’s a... let’s just call it a male relaxation aid, that when combined with specially created media, is reported to give the user a particularly realistic and pleasurable massaging experience. So realistic is the device, that it takes eight hours to program every fifteen minutes of video. Now as off-putting as the thought of this product is, if you’d care to think about it for a little longer, there are numerous other uses that technology like that could be re-purposed for, ranging from computer gaming (oddly, it has already been compared to the Nintendo Wii by its manufacturers), to online physical therapy for sufferers of ailments like cystic fibrosis. With interesting new technologies emerging like augmented reality, a video processing medium that allows users footage to be integrated with 3D Animation in real time, it is clear that now more than ever, there are plenty of different high-tech interactive routes for pornographers to take their products down. Whether or not these will make any changes to our wider lives remains to be seen. For less on porn and nakedness, but more on augmented reality and new 3D technologies, be sure to get down to the next ‘And Then The World Presents...’ At The Hospital Club. See website for full details.
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Hardcore Software
There is a commonly-advanced argument that porn is the single greatest driving force behind the development of new consumer media technologies. For example, online porn is not just a web-based stress-reduction tool for adults, but supposedly the catalyst for swathes of IT evolution. The porn industry claims to be responsible for the birth of online payment systems like PayPal, broadband Internet and video streaming sites like YouTube and 3G mobile phone networks.
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Technology aside, whilst researching this piece it was clear to me the one place the porn business is really breaking the mould is with their titles. Here is a top five run down of some of the names that popped up on my journey across the web’s seedier sites: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Fill Bill Planet Of The Gapes Honey, I Blew Everyone Jurassic Poke Die Hard On
“My parties are much sexier!” Emma Sayle corrects me with a throaty laugh. ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ is just loads of men pounding women.” Daughter of a high-level diplomat, former pupil of super-posh girls school, Downe House, and pals with Kate Middleton, the 31-year-old Sayle doesn’t immediately strike you as the brains behind London’s most exclusive sex club for the rich and famous, Killing Kittens. Obviously a high achiever, she’s also a former PR-girl, an amateur sportswoman and fundraiser.
“Actually I don’t know Kate that well. I haven’t spoken to her in over a year. She’s just friends with a couple of friends of mine who went to Marlborough,” Emma says, not in the least annoyed by my raising the field day the press had two summers ago when Kate pulled out of rowing the Channel with fundraising group The Sisterhood due to the ‘unsavouriness’ of some of its members – along with Emma “the sex entrepreneur”, the good ol’ Daily Mail also profiled “a podium dancer” and “a fetish party artist”. Probing a little more, I ask whether Kate would ever go to a Killing Kittens party. “I’m sure she might, if she weren’t going out with the future king of England!” And would she make it through the strict look-based vetting criteria? “Oh, definitely!” That’s good to know. I’m sure quite a lot of people are wondering if they’d be accepted to the now 6000-plus Killing Kittens membership. (Myself included.) “Oh, it’s not a case of supermodel looks,” Emma protests. “It’s a case of nice-looking attractive people under 45.” Yes, but with 1 in 3 applicants being rejected, who are the people getting turned away? “Well, you know, if they’re 18 stone. There is a fattist element to it,” Emma admits. “The people, they are elitist, and they don’t want to be naked next to an 18 stone person. It is elitist, but most nightclubs and bars in London are, and that’s what the members expect. So we’ve got to give them what they want.” Jordan on a very trailer-trashy day is a no in case you’re wondering. And yes, Rhys
Ifans was recently turned away from a party, “he was scruffy and he didn’t have a girl with him.”
loads of girl-on-girl action going on. Girls are naturally bi-curious.” Don’t people ever get nervous, I wonder? “People are very nervous but then get completely caught up and just love it. Most people wake up the next morning wondering if it was a dream.”
As Mr Ifans found out, Killing Kittens is all about the ladies. Men can only get in with a female partner making the ratio of the monthly parties roughly 60:40 girls to guys and what’s more men have to wait for ‘the nod’ from a girl before joining in. “This means the guys are more nervous than girls. They’re out of their comfort zone,” Emma says gleefully. And this seems to be the key to hotting things up, “It lowers the girls’ inhibitions. They know they’re not going to get jumped on, so they’re more confident and happy to dance around in their underwear.”
Making dreams come true seems to be part of what Emma does – her concierge service ‘French Letter Day’, which fulfilled clients’ sexual fantasies for between £5000 and £20,000, has now been incorporated into Killing Kittens. “Oh you know, people ask to be kidnapped, that kind of thing. It’s all about experiences now,” says Emma. “A lot of people live in a world which is very comfortable, they’ve got the materialistic stuff and it’s all very easy. So they want to experience more. People are very hedonistic.” She goes on tell me about a client who wants to be mugged and then rescued by Bionic Woman. “We’ve done kidnappings and muggings in public before. Passers by never do anything!”
Held mainly in members’ lavish homes, with free champagne and vodka cocktails until midnight, mattresses laid down in the ‘salons’ and beds in private rooms, it’s little wonder the revellers – a reported mix of bankers, lawyers, doctors and media types, as well as strippers, porn stars and the odd famous person “usually footballers and rugby players” who pay £150 entrance fee – manage to get through 300 condoms in a night. I imagine there’s a lot of carnage. “No, it doesn’t happen like that,” Emma replies. “People aren’t there to get completely arseholed. It’s actually quite civilised.” How civilised exactly? “You get couples who want to get a girl involved or couples who want to keep to themselves and others who want to do the group thing. And then you get people who just want to keep their clothes on,” Emma says, before adding: “And there’s also
To my surprise, Emma herself never gets down and dirty at the parties. “Yes, everyone always assumes I’m a nymphomaniac dominatrix. But no, I never take part. It’s not something I have any interest in personally. I don’t frown upon it – no one’s getting hurt and they can do want they want. But Kittens for me is business. I go in there with a business head on, not a sex head.” But she does get turned on by the female body – “a naked female is a stunning thing to see” – and loves going to strip clubs with female friends, so must enjoy watching all the shenanigans
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when hosting the parties? “Oh completely, it’s hilarious. Every party is hilarious to watch. You see things every time that you’ve never seen before.” Like what? “Nothing major. Just various positions and trying to work out how many people are actually attached to each other in one chain and that kind of stuff.” I ask whether jealousy and resentment ever raise their ugly heads. “I haven’t seen any,” she says. “The couples that come along have an agreement between themselves. And girls who come along aren’t coming to find a boyfriend, they’re coming to experiment with other girls or just get involved. There’s no expectations for afterwards.” And with no pressure to take your clothes off, it’s little surprise the parties are now attracting a more mainstream London club crowd who don’t necessarily want to get stuck in. Literally. “We’ve had a lot more members apply this year. What’s changed is that a lot of them wouldn’t classify themselves as swingers, they just want to dance around in their knickers. They’re just good fun parties whether you take your clothes off or not.” That doesn’t sound too scary I say as we wind up. “You should come!” Emma wheedles. Well yes, I might actually. Watch this space… (Oh, and in case you’re wondering where the name came from, it was inspired by internet meme tagline “Every time you masturbate… God kills a kitten”. Who knew?) Julia Rebaudo is a regular contributor to the site. To read more of her work, join the ‘Magazine’ group at thehospitalclub.com
By Julia Rebaudo
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Club News
& Events Our collective memory has been overwhelmed by the fast flight of the past few months. The Hospital Club 100 highlighted the most exciting emerging and established people in the Creative Industries. We’ve seen incredible displays of talent from our members; spoken word and music collective, OneTaste, and artists Sebastien Pons and Adeline De Monseignat. Peruse our photo spread and see if you can spot yourself amongst the carnage. Hopefully you’re well rested after the summer, because we’ve got a hectic schedule of events that would tempt a sober nun to ditch her habit. Check out the Highlights section for a window into the imminent social jamboree. Keep your eyes dusted for the fortnightly newsletter and be the first to find out Club News by joining our online groups. Members of the Music Group get a sly heads up on who’s playing our next gig in the TV studio. Alternatively, follow us on Twitter (www.twitter.com/ TheHospitalClub)
is already complete. Head to www. thehospitalclub.com/cir for more information.
Online We’ve been on a technical fiddle fest with the website this year; redesigning swathes of the site, launching a new events booking system and tweaking the way video works. In addition to boosting our Groups membership, we can now bring you content like movie trailers and music videos. Members can also upload their own media (images/audio/video) to their profiles. We’ve had a major overhaul of the ‘Members’ section, so you should find networking a slicker process. We’ve also launched two shiny new sections of the site. There’s a ‘Classified’ section to post, promote and advertise whatever you like and a ‘Competitions’ section, so we can run regular prize-giveaways. We’re working on a section of the site to rejuvenate your skin, tidy the house and baby-sit; but it’s still in development.
Creatives in Residence 2009 has seen our Creatives in Residence filming in the Club, recording in our 4th floor studio, performing acoustic sets and designing the CiR website. We should take this opportunity to offer a huge thank-you to the coaches and the Guidance Group who’ve steered them with expertise and patience. The final season of CiR showcases has already begun. Following Nova Dando’s collection launch in Fashion week, look out for projects from our Graphic Designers, Antoine Choussat + Zamir Antonio, film-maker Simon Burrill and visual artist Roxane Borujerdi. The search for next year’s hopefuls
Restaurant To keep your taste buds tantalised, we have some new menu changes in the Club, moving towards Autumnal dishes. Be sure to try the Bresoala, mushroom, rocket and parmesan salad; the braised feather
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blade of beef with horseradish mash and, wait for it, a divine blackberry and orange sponge with vanilla custard. Chef looks forward to hearing what you think. Through October we’re also offering 50% off selected wines in the restaurant from Monday to Wednesday, so make sure you treat yourself.
Opening hours We’re now open from 8am for breakfast Monday to Friday and 11am on Saturday for brunch on the 2nd floor. The 4th floor will continue to serve from 9am on Friday and 12pm on Saturday.
Upcoming events Be sure not to miss the annual dress-up extravaganza which is our Birthday Party and more party nights from Back to Ours and Studio 24. Then of course we have Members’ Night. If you’ve always wanted to meet more members, then this is the night for you. Hosted by your favourite Membership duo, the next edition will feature a special surprise guest who’s well versed in pleasing a large audience. That’s all we can say. Finally, congratulations to Ed Rogers on winning Goodwood tickets via the Veuve dinner here in the Club back in July. Let us know how it all went. And congratulations to those who won the cocktail competitions and have seen their creations grace our trusty Hospital Club drinks menu. Look foward to seeing you in the Club,
Marketa and Oliver Membership
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Illustration: Roxane Borujerdi Creatives in Residence
HOSPITAL CLUBBED See if you can spot yourself in one of the shots from our action-packed last few months. From Studio 24, Underground Rebel Bingo, Poker, Writing Salon, OneTaste, The Ethical Fashion Forum party and the Acoustic Night, to the Music Sessions with incredible performances from Florence and the Machine and Mr Hudson. We’ve also had private views of art from member Sebastien Pons launching our Fashion Week; Back to Ours also took the art of partying to another level with PAINT by acclaimed artist Stephanie Smiedt. If you want to know any more about the pieces for sale or the artists, get in touch with Creative Projects Manager, Ali Hilman alih@thehospitalclub.com. 24
Members Profiles >1
Kaspers Upmanis Angel Tan Arturs Naumovs Company?
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George Owens: Company?
The Lightyears (band) Industry?
Trousers London
Music
Industry?
But come on, what do you actually do though?
Fashion Design - Premium Men’s Denim to be specific But come on, what do you actually do though?
In a nutshell we design, manufacture and market really cool guys jeans! We use only organic denim and our designs are directional and different. We only produce in Italy and the limited edition batches remain exclusive with their individual ID numbers. What projects are you currently working on?
We have just completed our Spring/ Summer 2010 collection and are now organising a sustainable Fashion Show on the 19th September during London Fashion Week. Are there any people you’d love to collaborate with?
We would love to collaborate with Matthew Williamson (a current customer), Hussein Chalayan and Tim Walker to name just a few. However, we are already working on a couple of collaborative projects venturing into streetwear and women’s. What’s your ultimate “Don’t Miss” in London?
Spitalfields on a Sunday, exhibitions at the Hayward, Primrose Hill in Summer, Somerset House ice rink in the winter and The Hospital Club’s Birthday Bash (best night of the year!!) What’s your porn star name?
(Pet’s first name and your mother’s maiden name): Kaspers is “Tedis Loce Angel is “Fizzy Yik” Arturs is “Toby Helmut” trouserslondon.co.uk
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are really important - and two of the three members of The Lightyears have a background in theatre. With us so focused on the sound, I think it would be great to bring in someone to help us create exciting stage pictures as well..!
The Lightyears as a band are self-represented and operate completely independently. This has its disadvantages of course, but over the past seven years, we’ve been lucky enough to tour all over the world including the USA, South Africa, Asia and mainland Europe, played at Glastonbury Festival, The Cavern Club in Liverpool and all the major venues in London. This September the band will be performing at Wembley Stadium. The Lightyears won Best Pop/ Rock Act at the UK Indy Awards in 2007 and following this were invited to work with producer Hugh Padgham (Sting, Paul McCartney and Elton John). We have released five albums and numerous EPs.
What’s your ultimate “Don’t Miss” in London?
What projects are you currently working on?
But come on, what do you actually do though?
Apart from the gig we’re preparing for at Wembley Stadium, we have been doing a lot of new writing recently. I wrote 20 songs in 12 hours last month. That was a challenge - but the results were pretty good! We begin work proper on a new album in the next few weeks.
I am a film director. I have directed several short films and music videos and am ready for my first feature film.
Are there any people you’d love to collaborate with?
I love the idea of working with a team of theatre professionals - director, designer, costume and lighting - to create a really awesome live show. I think strong visual aesthetics for a band 26
Well, we recently built a (mini) pub in our house in tribute to our local The Eagle (off Northcote Road in Clapham). It’s called The Beagle. Technically it’s not open to the public, but if you can find it, we’ll pour you a pint! What’s your porn star name?
Poppy Owen TheLightyears.com
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Fernando Tiberini Company?
Fernando Tiberini Industry?
Film & Television
What projects are you currently working on?
I am working on a number of projects, of very differing content and composition: ‘The Mediator’ -short film about a father’s revenge on his adulterous son; ‘The Parents’ - family drama set in the Swiss Alps; and ‘The Long Way Home’ - documentary on the aftermath of WWII May 1945, where three WWII survivors break their silence to
take us along on their long and dangerous road to a new home. I am particularly focused and excited about ‘The Long Way Home’; it is an hour-long documentary intended for television broadcast, filmed on colour HD. It will be structured around interviews with the war survivors and will be complemented by archive footage and animation. Are there any people you’d love to collaborate with?
I am currently looking for representation, so am really interested in finding an agent. I am also interested in working with a producer and a writer to collaborate on my first feature film, who has an interest in films about the darker, more intricate sides of relationships - in the vein of the works of Patrick Marber, François Ozon and Luis Buñuel. I am a great fan of Terence Stamp and have written the lead role in my film “The Mediator” for him. I would also love to do a music video for Tindersticks. What’s your ultimate “Don’t Miss” in London?
The Wapping Project - art, dinner & hydroelectric pipes What’s your porn star name?
Olga Trepp fernando-tiberini.com
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Sophia Lyons & Ian Rendall Company:
Trashed Management Industry:
Music Industry But come on what do you actually do though?
We have three yummy pies… Band Management, Photographer Management and Music Consultancy Band Management: We manage Stereo Decade www.stereodecade. com, an indie rock band made up of four “peng” (that’s Essex for “good looking”) eighteen year olds. We’ve spent many hours in the recording studio working on album material including their debut single “Slow Down” coming out 26th October ’09. Getting close to the tour now; we’ve organised great new press shots by Suzie Blake (introduced to us by Markey at The Hospital Club) and an amazing video for the single, which is the creation of the extremely talented director, (Hospital Club Member) Rowland Jobson. Our first meeting with Rowland is a great example of what the Hospital Club is all about, we simply got chatting to him at the bar and a great working relationship and friendship was born! “Slow Down” is to be released under Medical Records, run by Adam Perry another Hospital Club Member! Even more so, another wonderful partnership has evolved after Stereo Decade’s gig at The Hospital Club earlier this year. We also manage some of the finest rock photographers in the world including Denis O’Regan being official photographer for bands such as the Rolling Stones, Queen, Bowie, Duran Duran and, more recently, engaged by legendary rock band KISS to document last
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>5 year’s “Alive 35 tour”. We have also started the careers of some of the new breed of rock photographers such as Pete Hill (Kaiser Chiefs, The Automatic) and Stu Nicholls (The Subways, The Delays). Trashed have branched out into music consultancy including working with young artists on their first steps into the murky world of the music industry, through engaging bands and brands into partnerships and working with bands on generating revenue out of non-traditional mediums. What projects are you currently working on?
Stereo Decade (the all conquering beast) and KISS – brokering deals with KISS to have instant audio/video at the end of their gigs, a book coming out in September on their last tour, getting Denis O’Regan as their tour photographer on their current world tour together with a touring exhibition. Your ultimate “Don’t Miss” in London?
“ It has to be Martin Miller’s Victor Borge’s Tea Parties held at Millers Residence in Notting Hill. Where else would you get Slash, Jimmy Page and Jeff Beck jamming on the sofas with Vivienne Westwood and Pru Leith playing chess in the corner” Who do you want to collaborate with?
The Who and Jimmy Page would be immense. Ceasar Millan (on behalf of the company Dog, Buckley), Richard Bacon and Barry Manilow What are your Porn Star Names?
Sophia – Sherry Upper Elmers End-Smith Ian – Whiskers Kensington-Forster myspace.com/trashedmanagement
Torang Abedian Company?
Freelance Industry?
Filmmaker What projects are you currently working on?
“Not an illusion”; a human story, a film about resistance and survival and the importance of art and music in our life and freedom of expression which we should fight for. I have financed the film personally though many have helped in one way or another. One of them was Marie Ferguson (designer) also a member of The Hospital Club who really believed in the film after seeing a 6 mins promo cut screened in The Hospital Club. Are there any people you’d love to collaborate with?
I would love to collaborate with those who care about human rights and different cultures, involved in producing and promotion of music, film and photography. Also writers, as I would like to develop a script for my next film fiction movie. What’s your ultimate “Don’t Miss” in London?
Hanging around in Soho and Covent Garden, bookshops, NFT and Portobello Road. torangabedian.com notanillusion.com
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Sam Nettey Company?
Debenhams Industry?
Fashion What do you actually do though?
I am a Buyer at Debenhams. In a nutshell we think of a concept, work with the designers to develop this concept onto paper. We then source the materials needed to 27
bring the concept to life (in a sense) then continually tweak and make changes to this concept to make it more appealing and commercially viable for the target market; we hold the purse strings and make the creative concept tangible and affordable. The end result of this concept is what you see in store, be it a bag, scarf, shirt etc. Alongside this I’m involved in projects with smaller brands trying to break into market by working with them on different aspect of their label. The eventual aim of this is to place them in the independent stores I have contact with across the country allowing them to build on their brand profile. What product are you currently working on?
We are putting the finishing touches to our Spring/Summer ’10 range and gearing towards Autumn/Winter ’10... exciting times to say the least! Any people I would like to collaborate with?
I would say Paul Smith for their understated yet quirky collection, Luke Roper for his raw innovative pieces in United Kingdom of Luke and Pharell Williams. His Billionaire Boys Club collection integrates a lot of interesting prints, especially on his T-Shirts. What is the ultimate “Don’t Miss” in London?
Apart from my stamp collection, I would recommend the V&A museum. In addition to their permanent collection the exhibitions are ever-changing covering different aspects of design, fashion and photography to name a few. It is definitely a must-see if you get a chance, they are currently running exhibitions on ‘Fashion Future Now’ and my current favourite is ‘capturing the moment’ photography by Reg Wilson. Porn name?
Cornelius Okai Find out more online at: www.thehospitalclub.com”
CHRISTMAS AT THE HOSPITAL CLUB
A
s you all know, we love nothing more than to host a good party. So make sure you speak to us about your Christmas do. We can arrange anything from intimate gatherings under the mistletoe, to cracking big parties around the Christmas tree, to a completely different bespoke events, like the Underground Rebel Bingo Club; if you’re looking for a Christmas party with a twist, this is one no one will forget. Our Events Team will take care of everything from beginning to end; from venue finding to catering and will make sure your glasses are always full (of egg nog). All you have to do is show up and have fun. For more information, or to make a booking please contact the Events Team on 020 7170 9148 or email events@thehospitalclub.com Happy Booking!
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preview
Director: Terry Gilliam Starring: Johnny Depp, Heath Ledger USA / 2009 / 122 min / Lionsgate Genre: Adventure/Fantasy/Mystery
In addition to being Heath Ledger’s final film, this is the latest slice of fantasy madness from the mind of Terry Gilliam. A travelling theatre troupe makes a deal with the devil (played by Tom Waits, naturally), and take members of their audience through a magic mirror to explore their imaginations. Sounds like a pretty good deal, what could possibly go wrong?
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2
Comedy Our last showcase was the best to date, featuring knock out performances from Jack Whitehall and Andrew Lawrence as they warmed up for their Edinburgh gigs. Don’t miss the chance to see more material from some of the country’s finest mirth-makers
24 Director: Shane Acker
So far we’ve been blown away by Blood Red Shoes, thrilled by Ladyhawke, hypnotised into a loving trance by Florence and the Machine and taught how to be cool by Mr Hudson. Of course, there’s more amazing, innovative and eclectic stuff where that came from. Speech Debelle may have won the prize for best album, but there’s more yet to come.
The Avantgarden is a party to celebrate art, performance and music from some of London’s leading artists, eccentrics and bohemian talent. It’s unique and entertaining magic will be spread across two floors of The Hospital Club. Scheduled events on both floors will be interspersed with unexpected performances from theatrical group Gideon Reeling, who specialise in bespoke interactive theatrical experiences. Imagine choirs in the lifts, aerobics in the stair well, opera in dark corridors.
The Cove
preview
Director: Louie Psihoyos Starring: Ric O’Barry USA / 2009 / 92 min / Vertigo Genre: Documentary
Tense documentary following a group of wildlife activists. Led by renowned dolphin trainer Ric O’Barry, they infiltrate a cove near Taijii, Japan with high tech surveillance gear to expose the the shocking abuse of captive dolphins and the link to Japanese school kids’ diets.
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Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions with The Hospital Club
Avantgarden
October
9
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Starring: Elijah Wood, Christopher Plummer, John C. Reilly USA / 2009 / 79 min / Universal Genre: Animation / Adventure / Sci-Fi
The world’s in a right old mess after monstrous mechanical beasts gain power in this post apocalyptic animation. It’s up to the 9 to restore order along with a group of curious fellows stitched together and given life by a long-gone inventor who offers them guidance via holograms. Coproduced by Tim Burton.
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November
4
Bright Star Director: Jane Campion Starring: Ben Whishaw, Abbie Cornish UK / 2009 / 119 min / Pathe Genre: Drama/Romance
The poet John Keats only lasted 25 years in this world, and as they say, the brightest stars burn out fastest. Keats wrote sublime verse and romanced a young lady by the name of Fanny Brawne. He was ‘inspired by the rapture of first love’. This is their story, written and directed by Jane Campion, the Oscar winner who brought us The Piano.
A Serious Man Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
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Starring: Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind USA / 2009 / 105 min / Focus Genre: Comedy/Drama
The Coen brothers are back and of course, it’s oddball black comedy time. Bleak times face professor Larry Gopnik when his wife threatens divorce. His strange and inept brother won’t move out, and little by little everything starts to fall apart. Fans of Fargo, Raising Arizona and Burn After Reading will most likely be rather pleased with another slice of dark comedy chaos.
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Talking Woodstock
high 21 Studio 24
Check out the photo gallery in the Party Nights group to see why this is fast becoming the Club’s favourite party night, join the group for more info and photos of great nights out here at the Club. Drawing inspiration from clubs such as David Mancuso’s Loft and Michael Brody’s Paradise Garage, Studio 24 is wildly social, eclectic, sexy and uplifting. With 21 years of mixing experience, ranging from Amnesia, Ibiza to Arq in Sydney, you won’t find a better party host than DJ Stewart Who?
Director: Ang Lee Starring: Demetri Martin, Imelda Staunton, Eugene Levy USA / 2009 / 120 min / Universal Genre: Comedy/Music
Elliot Tiber has a place in history as the man who inadvertently put on a huge cultural happening that influenced music for ever. Based on a true life story of mud, drugs and free love, he pulled Woodstock back from the brink of cancellation by hiring out his parent’s crummy hotel to the organisers and giving the flower children access to the land by being the only guy in town with a music festival permit. Warning: contains hippies.
The Hospital Club Birthday Party Unlike old Queen Liz we only get to celebrate our birthday once a year, so we do it with style. Last year we went all noir, platinum blonde and Kit Kat Club. This time around…Just watch this space.
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Back To Ours: Halloween On all hallow’s eve there’ll be some scares, bloodcurdling screams and terror. That’s what you get if you catch a ride on a London nightbus or travel on the Central Line in rush hour. Alternatively you can doll yourself as a rotting zombie, ravenous vampire or a chainsaw wielding killer and party with us here at the Club. Best outfit of the night will be competitively judged, so come like you’re ready for The Devil himself.
Members’ Events Highlights
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The serious and competitive game of bingo is interspersed with special guests, great music and plenty of drinking. Participants are sworn to protect the secret of the Underground Rebel Bingo Club with their lives. If you plan to attend, mention it to no-one and ensure you are not followed on your way to the event. Beginners and hardcore underground rebels welcome. Just keep it on the down-low, bruv.
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December
3
The Underground Rebel Bingo Club
Poker Night
Poker Night at the Club continues to gain momentum, so come along and give it a whirl. It’s a game of cunning, skill, nerve and sometimes just plain ol’ Lady Luck. You’ll find out why the greats know how to play the odds but also the other players. As Lady GaGa might say, ‘Can’t read my, can’t read my, no, he can’t read my poker face’. Beginners are welcome. Start at the shallow end and you’ll soon get the swing of it. You can learn about the ‘dominated hand’ and the ‘crying call’ as you go along.
hlights 15 18
A Prophet
Director: Jacques Audiard
Starring: Tahar Rahim, Niels Arestrup France / 2009 / 150 min / Optimum Genre: Crime/Drama
Facing six years in prison, French-Arabic con has to build up a reputation for being tough and untouchable. He learns about prison life fast, and rises through the hard-bitten ranks of the internal organised crime structure. Expect harsh realism and brutality; a hit at this year’s Cannes Film Festival.
Nowhere Boy
Director: Sam Taylor Wood
Starring: Aaron Johnson, Kristin Scott Thomas UK / 2009 / 101 min / Icon Genre: Drama
Inspired by The Beatles song Nowhere Man, this is the story of John Lennon’s childhood and teen years in post-WWII Liverpool. The film centres around Lennon’s experiences in the early days of rock ‘n’ roll, his relationship with Aunt Mimi (who was for the most part his guardian) and the death of his mother Julia at an early age. Plus of course that fateful day he met a young chap called Paul who could impressively tune his own guitar, which was also quite a key moment.
Quiz Night
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Quiz Night is an evening for the generally knowledgeable; for egghead folks with a talent for soaking up information. Alternatively, it’s an opportunity for drinks, laughter and a chance to make up silly team names whilst exploring your pop culture ignorance. There’s fun to be had, even if you don’t know what the capital of Uruguay is, maybe you’ll know which famous comedian was once the manager of Suede (answers on a postcard please).
Where the Wild Things Are Director: Spike Jonze
Starring: Catherine Keener, Max Records, James Gandolfini UK / 2009 / 92 min / Warner Bros Genre: Adventure/Family
Those who have been enchanted by Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s story would most likely approve of quirky director Spike Jonze taking the helm here. Little rascal Max is sent to bed with no supper, and from his bed he creates a make-believe world of a forest populated by huge ferocious monsters. He’s chosen as their leader after promising a land where they can all be happy. This proves a tougher promise to fulfil than the young scamp had imagined…
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London & the UK
Speed dates
October
November
4 Covent Garden Punch and Judy Festival
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Novello Theatre:
The Punch & Judy Fellowship, the largest and oldest organisation of its kind, is devoted to keeping alive the traditions of Britain’s national puppet show. Not just for those who find sausage eating crocs and a hook-nosed man beating a woman with a stick whilst deliberately dropping babies the quintessence of hilarity. Altogether now, ‘that’s the way to do it’. 15 - 18 Frieze Art Fair
Contemporary art in Regents Park on a grand scale, featuring over 150 major galleries from all over the world, and a programme of talks, projects and films. Expect oligarchs, A-listers and Lily Allen, probably. As usual, Hospital Club members can purchase two tickets for the price of one for the duration of the Festival. Check the social network for details coming soon. 2 - 25 The Islington Contemporary Art & Design Fair Candid Galleries
Over four weekends in October, visitors can peruse sculpture, design, textiles, photography, fashion, jewellery, furniture, ceramics, lion taming and more. The last one was made up. It’s a place for artists and designers to display and sell their work, and/or an opportunity for you to go shopping for something unique and fabulous. 14 - 29 The Times BFI 53rd London Film Festival (Various venues)
The Times BFI 53rd London Film Festival, more succinctly known as the LFF, is a film buff’s smorgasbord. This year, it boasts 15 world premieres out of 191 features being shown this year, and 23 films will have their European premiere. It also includes 26 documentaries and 113 shorts…and George Clooney has 3 films showing, so he’ll be knocking about. Oh, and a Sexploitation season, wayhey! September 30 - October 11 Raindance Film Festival
Parties, live music and of course, some great films from upcoming British and international indie talent. Highlights include ‘They Call It Acid’, a documentary about the rise of acid house culture and the unfortunately titled ‘My Suicide’, starring David Carradine who was found hanged in a room in Bangkok last year.
Tennessee Williams won a Pulitzer for this play in 1955, and the recent Broadway run sold out. Now we get to sample it here in London. James Earl Jones leads the cast as the patriarch of a wealthy and powerful Mississippi family in crisis. Expect bitchin’, drinkin’ and backstabbin’. Beatles to Bowie National Portrait Gallery
Pop music legends of the 60’s in a collection of rare photographs from the era which helped to make London the cultural centre of the world. Featuring lots of rock and rollers and not just the ones beginning with the letter B, The Stones, The Kinks, Hendrix and even Cliff Richard give good face. Yes, he was cool once. Stop sniggering. Talent Menier Chocolate Factory
In this age when our airwaves are rammed with competitive talent shows, Victoria Wood rather appropriately brings us a new production of Talent at the intimate and delightful Menier Chocolate Factory. Written and directed by the comedy star - this is a certain sell out. It’s talent night at Bunters Niteclub…curtains up, and let the fun begin…
December Throughout Oct/Nov/Dec Inherit the Wind The Old Vic
Teaching evolution to children was once seen as an outrage (and in some parts of the world, still is). This classic play puts science on trial and is based on a true story. A schoolteacher faces a jail sentence for bigging up Darwin and shrugging at the good book. Directed by award winner Trevor Nunn and starring Kevin Spacey, this will be one of the highlights of the theatre calendar at the close of ’09. Kienholz: The Hoerengracht The National Gallery
Fancy a trip to Amsterdam this Christmas? Well now you can, simply by stepping into the National Gallery for a trip through the red light district in all its seedy glory. A recreation of the brick walls, glowing windows and mysterious doorways of Amsterdam’s claustrophobic streets and canals, this is an installation by American artists Ed and Nancy Kienholz. No need to bring a clean syringe, condoms and Rizlas…it ain’t real, folks. Damien Hirst: The Blue Paintings Wallace Collection Manchester Square, Marylebone
Hirst has the honour of being one of the few living artists to be shown at the Wallace Collection. Expect striking images of floating skulls emerging from the abyss, and possibly the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future.
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Concise Calendar
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
October
01
02
03
The Cove 7pm (SR) Triangle 9.30pm (SR)
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2pm (SR) Avantgarden 8pm White Out 7pm (SR)
06
07
08
09
10
Writing Salon 7.30pm (L) Katalin Varga 7pm (SR)
First Tuesday 6.30pm (FF)
Cocktail competition 7pm (GR) Le Donk Scor-zay-zee 9pm (SR)
Underground Rebel Bingo Club 7pm (FF)
Surrogates 7pm (SR) Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus 9.30pm (SR)
UP 2pm (SR) Adventureland 4.30pm (SR) Invention of Lying 7pm (SR)
12
13
14
15
16
17
Thirst 7pm (SR)
Quiz Night 8pm (GR)
Poker Night 7pm (FR) Couples Retreat 9pm (SR)
Rock Night 8pm (ML) An Education 7pm (SR) Jonny Mad Dog 9.30pm (SR)
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2pm (SR) Driving Aphrodite 7pm (SR)
19
20
21
22
23
24
Quiz Night 8pm (GR) The Cove 9pm (SR)
Creative Capital 7pm (GR)
Taking Woodstock 7pm (SR) Cold Souls 9.30pm (SR)
Studio 24 9pm (ML) 9 2pm (SR) September Issue 4.30pm(SR) Law Abiding Citizen 7pm (SR)
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27
28
29
30
31
Book Club 7pm (L) 1 DAY 7pm (SR)
Creatives in Residence Roxane Borujerdi Solo Show opens
9 9pm (SR)
Innovation Talks 7pm (GR)
Back to Ours - Halloween 8pm (ML) The Merry Gentleman 7pm (SR) Zombieland 9.30pm (SR)
UP 2pm (SR) Cirque Du Freak 7pm (SR)
02
03
04
05
06
07
Harry Brown 7pm (SR) Cracks 9.30pm (SR)
Fantastic Mr Fox 2pm (SR) Invention of Lying 4.30pm (SR) Saw VI 7pm (SR)
Variety Night 7pm (L) Writing Salon 7.30pm (L) The White Ribbon 7pm (SR)
November
Saturday
05
The First Day of The Rest of Our Lives 7pm (SR)
Bright Star 9pm (SR)
09
10
11
12
13
14
Glorious 39 7pm (SR)
Quiz Night 8pm (GR)
Poker Night 7pm (FR) The Girlfriend Experience 9pm (SR)
Members Drinks 7pm (GR)
Bunny & The Bull 7pm (SR) A Serious Man 9.30pm (SR)
A Christmas Carol 2pm (SR) Fantastic Mr Fox 7pm (SR)
16
17
18
19
20
21
Birthday Party 8pm (All)
Nativity 2pm (SR) Zombieland 4.30pm (SR) Jennifers Body 7pm (SR)
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28
The Men Who Stare at Goats 7pm (SR) The Descent: Part 2 9.30pm (SR)
A Christmas Carol 2pm (SR)
04
05
The Limits of Control 7pm (SR) Stepfather 9.30pm (SR)
TBC 2pm (SR) Bright Star 4.30pm (SR) Amelia 7pm (SR)
11
12
Back to Ours Christmas 8pm (ML) 2012 7pm (SR) The Informant 9.30pm (SR)
Studio 24 9pm (ML) A Christmas Carol 2pm (SR) A Serious Man 9.30pm (SR)
18
19
Nowhere Boy 7pm (SR) The Men Who Stare at Goats 9.30pm (SR)
Where The wild Things Are 2pm (SR) A Serious Man 4.30pm (SR) The Road 7pm (SR)
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CLUB CLOSED
CLUB CLOSED
Seraphine 7pm (SR)
23
Creative Capital 7pm (GR) Taking Woodstock 9pm (SR)
24
The Limits of Control 7pm (SR)
25
26
Case 39 9pm (SR)
30
01
02
Book Club 7pm (L) Unmade Beds 7pm (SR)
First Tuesday 6.30pm (FF) TBC
Amelia 9pm (SR)
07
08
Writing Salon 7.30pm (L) A Prophet 7pm (SR)
December
Friday
03
10
09 Poker Night 7pm (FR) HumpDay 9pm (SR)
17
14
15
16
Precious 7pm (SR)
Quiz Night 8pm (GR)
Creative Capital 7pm (GR) The Informant 9pm (SR)
21
22
23
Book Club 7pm (L) A Prophet 7pm (SR)
28 CLUB CLOSED
24
Where The wild Things Are 9pm (SR)
29*
30*
31*
TBC 7pm (SR) Avatar 9pm (SR)
2012 7pm (SR) Studio 24 9pm (ML)
Members Event Pre-Release Screening Screening Children’s Screening
(SR) Screening Room (TV) Studio (ML) Martini Lounge (FR) Forest Room (GR) Games Room (BB) Bellini Bar (G) Gallery (CR) Club Restaurant (RR) Rocket Room (FF) First Floor (2nd) Second Floor (L) Library
Most Members events can be booked one month in advance and screenings two weeks in advance. Free admission. To book visit www.thehospitalclub.com.
If you have to cancel your booking please use the online booking system so that another member can take your place. 33
* Special Club opening hours 11am - 2am
From The Basement
Maguffin/Sky Arts HD
Rock Profile
Matt Lucas & David Walliams comedy. Hat Trick Productions for FunnyorDie.co.uk.
Albums of the Year
Live performances and multiple live broadcasts. Nationwide Mercury Prize
Frock Me
Fashion & Music Series. Superbox/C4
Duran Duran
Liberty Bell/Joly Good TV for Sky Arts HD
Club Music Sessions
Members’ event
Strictly Come Dancing
It Takes Two. Daily Fanzine Show. BBC Entertainment / BBC Two
4 Music Specials
Including Coldplay & Pink. Eyeworks/T4
T4
Links & Music Days. Eyeworks/T4
With 250sq m of studio space to play with, The Hospital Club Studios are all about flexibility. As the first multi-camera HD studio in Europe, we can facilitate any live or pre-recorded productions. We have HD, SD and multi-track music recording capability, luxury green rooms, dressing rooms, make-up facilities and production offices. To find out more please call Anne Marie Phelan on 020 7170 9110, email studio@ thehospitalclub.com or visit www.thehospitalclub.com/studio