2009 – Issue Eighteen – London
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The Introduction ‘Bring the Noise’ roared Public Enemy, while Depeche Mode implored us to ‘Enjoy the Silence’. Here at The Hospital Club, we’re listening to both points of view and howling into the wind. From the ubiquity of the iPod to pumping music in restaurants and retail stores, our lives are a frenetic series of self-imposed and uninvited soundtracks. The louder the music, the quicker we drink, the faster we spend, the more we eat, in essence, the less we think. Quiet contemplation is the enemy of mindless consumerism, but the key to creativity. In the last issue, it was suggested you should, ‘put it in your pipe and smoke it’. This magazine can be viewed as a quiet, printed ripple on the lake of consciousness or a hoarse shout across a crowded dancefloor…. because, we’re not just screaming for silence, there’s also an understanding that to really appreciate peace, you need an exposure to noise. Visually, there are few images that compete with the stunning tranquillity inherent in the photos of Jacob Love. He presents a utopia unblemished by human intervention: swimming pools without the swimmers. Children should be seen and not heard, but we know this is thunderous optimism. Elspeth Waters reports on a forthcoming TV show which aims to turn that very concept into children’s entertainment. Gettin Hectic know their football and with that sporting wisdom, reflect on brave attempts to impose silence and respect in arenas accustomed to roaring and jeering. David Parker is a legendary life coach whose clients have taught him that silence can be unhealthy and destructive. He implores us to speak up and speak out. As fashion’s most erudite observer, Colin McDowell is infamous for his lack of reticence, but the Creative Director of Fashion Fringe at Covent Garden proves he’s in no mood for piping down just yet. Michael Arditti is an author known for spiritual contemplation and in this extract from The Enemy of the Good, we see that Brixton prison is, unsurprisingly, an unsuitable venue to seek quiet solace. By day, he’s the Marketing Manager of the ICA, but by night Keith McDonnell silently prays for a mute and civilised public. DJ and producer Wayne G is accustomed to relentless bass lines, synth stabs and soaring vocals, so what happened when he faced the psychedelic silence of the outback? Dan Clark’s TV series was nominated for ‘Best Comedy Programme’ at the 2009 Broadcast Awards and he received a ‘Best Male Comedy Newcomer’ nomination at this year’s Comedy Awards. Currently working on the second series of ‘How Not to Live Your Life’ he’s constantly pondering the comic possibilities of silence. There was no room for hush at the Music Sessions with our friends at the Barclaycard Mercury Prize. The night launched with spectacular performances from Ladyhawke and Blood Red Shoes. Watch for the next instalment from this monthly music extravaganza. On that note, we suggest you take a deep breath, make yourself comfortable and immerse yourself in the many aspects of silence.
Goodbye 2007 Black and white photographic print Edition 1/3
Our cover illustrator is Duncan Cargill who also took this haunting photograph of a stairway. duncancargill@gmail.com 2
CONTENTS Features
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King of the Fringe
20 Silence is Golden. But is it Funny?
Line of flight
22 Membership News
The School of Silence
23 Members Events
Fashion’s arch observer talks to Stewart Who?
Jacob Love quizzed by Stewart Who?
Elspeth Waters ponders the joys of quiet children
Dan Clark doesn’t always like the sound of laughter
So what did we learn from that questionnaire?
What you can expect to find at our parties, events and gatherings
10 Shut it!
24 The Hospital Club Happenings
12 Incarceration
26 Words are Very. Unecessary.
Tell the truth quicker, says David Parker
Extract from ‘The Enemy of the Good’ by Michael Arditti
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“In Silenzio...”
Keith McDonnell rages at uncivilised audiences
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Porchester Deep/What You Don’t Know You Don’t Know
Jacob Love pools his talent
29 Members Film and Events Highlights
The Silence of the ’Shrooms
19 Market Training/Transactions and Strokes
The best of The Hospital Club yet to come. Check out the website for full details
32 Speed Dates
Wayne G goes loco down under
Can the Beautiful Game be a silent pursuit, ask Gettin Hectic
Calendars
15 Kings Hall Deep/Emotional Freedom Technique
If you were there, you might be here. If not, see what you missed
Where to be and when
33 Concise Calendar
Oasis Deep Enclosed/Wellness Active
Love all over the page
Check out the dates in one handy glance
David Parker
David Saraga and Ben Chatfield
Elspeth Waters
Jacob Love
Stewart Who?
Duncan Cargill
CONTRIBUTORS
Editor
Stewart Who?
Dan Clark
Fabia Palliser, Oliver Morton Wayne G
Keith McDonnell
Michael Arditti
Colin McDowell
Editorial team:
Sub Editors:
Suzanne Clode, Dan Thorne Art Direction, Design and Artwork:
topright.co.uk 01737 558 990
© The Hospital Group Ltd 2008. The copyright and contents of this publication are owned by The Hospital Group and no unauthorized copies of the whole or part may be made without express permission of The Hospital Group Ltd.
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Colin McDowell is an impeccable authority on all aspects of fashion. He’s Senior Fashion Writer for the Sunday Times Style and an accomplished presenter and broadcaster, giving lectures to fashion colleges around the world. His book, McDowell’s Directory of Twentieth Century Fashion is so indispensable and uniquely researched that it’s referred to as ‘The Bible’ within the fashion industry. He is the founder and Creative Director of Fashion Fringe at Covent Garden, which carefully selects emerging design talents and propels them into the future.
Last year as the credit crunch kicked in, you suggested going to bed for the winter. Assuming we did that, how should one face a fashion/economic crisis this summer?
Firstly, you will be slim and well rested, so go out and buy lots of new clothes which you know are not right for your age, determine to drink champagne at least three times a week and sleep with people you know are totally unsuitable. The summer will fly by and you won’t even notice the rain. Fashion Fringe at Covent Garden seems like an admirable attempt to keep London on the fashion map. Do you think we can ever claw back our commercial importance again - or are we forever in the shadows of NYC, Milan and Paris?
It’s difficult because we lost a lot of ground in the nineties. Fashion is a fiercely competitive business and designers in other capitals have a lot of money to spend on shows, promotion of their names etc - the sort of money I don’t think London-based designers ever will have. Also, they produce just as many - if not more - good designers than London does. So competition can only get tougher. You once said- ‘I know exactly what I want to do with Fashion Fringe at Covent Garden - I just need the money to do it.’
I still do and I still know! There are so many things that could be done to improve London’s standing but so much money is wasted here - but not in FFCG let me add. We run a very tight ship and would do so no matter how much money we were given. It is immoral to do anything else, surely, when one is trying to help as many young talents as possible. If we had the money and resources, I would certainly love to be able to support more than just one talent a year. Also, there are other categories that need support. But we do what we can. Last year we introduced a shoe competition and this year we expanded it to cover other accessories, such as bags. Next year...?
Photograph: Lufe Gomes
How difficult are the economics for you right now
Only a fool would pretend that things aren’t tough but most of our supporters have the courage to stick with us, thank God. I think the real
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Interview by Stewart Who? crunch for London as a fashion centre is still to come. I think Autumn will be bad and probably the early months of 2010 also. What we can’t predict is whether it will be the smaller, emerging labels or the more established (but not major) ones to go. But I believe in natural selection and a cull of young designers all doing exactly the same thing would actually strengthen London’s position. At the moment I feel that far too much of what we see on the runways here is an extension of art school thinking - and that is of no interest at all in the real world. What would you do given your dream budget?
Disband the whole London fashion set-up and start all over again. You’ve written 16 books, including ones on Ralph, Manolo and Galliano. Is there implicit pressure on you to be more complimentary and less sensational than you might be, considering how commercially powerful (and infamously vengeful) designers can be?
Absolutely not. But of course I write about them because I have built up an admiration for them over the years, and that doesn’t change any more than reading your favourite novelist does. At the end of the day, the really big designers don’t care too much for words about their shows only their PRs read them. What they want is the pictures in the magazines and newspapers. Analysis is totally out of fashion at the moment and who knows if or when it might return? You’ve worked in fashion for over 30 years; does it ever worry you that such a lengthy tenure might divorce you from reality?
This depends on your definition of reality, although I do concede that too much time spent on planet fashion tends to drive one mad. You have only to look at the great names of fashion design to see that. They are largely barking - but so are the fashion people who idolise them. As Lagerfeld once said, designers are simply tradespersons and the hubris of them starring in films, curating art exhibitions etc is obvious to all. Stick with the pinking shears is what I
say. That’s where you will do the least harm. I have never met a designer with an intellect - with sensitivity and creative genius, yes, but intellect, no. As for the press grandees, their self esteem protects them from all self doubt.
We all spend too much time having breakfast, lunch and dinner with each other - fashion is a very incestuous family - that eventually we lose the ability to talk to people outside the fashion circle. We’re the intellectual walking wounded of the arts, in most cases.
At what age should men eschew skinny jeans and other fashion fads and start dressing ‘classic’?
The theme of this issue is ‘Silence’. Who or what would you most like to silence?
This is a hard one. It isn’t so much a question of age as of figure. A man with a ‘normal’ middle age figure will not be a pretty sight in skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt and if he is all buffed and shiny you only have to look at the eyes to see you are in the presence of somebody who has such a low self esteem he doesn’t know how to grow up - like those white haired guys who drive in open sport cars in the winter - or any time, really. They make me sigh for the human race.
Nobody. Noise is an essential sign of vitality - if a child is sitting in a corner, not speaking, we think there is something wrong. It’s the same with adults. However, peace is a very different thing. I live in the middle of Soho, an area vibrant night and day, and always very noisy - except in the morning until about 11 o’clock. At that time it could be the London of Handel and Canaletto, who lived two steps from my door. Silence is one of the most productive of things that life Donatella Versace is honorary gives us but only if it is balanced by chairperson of FFCG2009, what does noise - and in Soho that happens later she bring to the table? in the day, when the streets are full Like Tom Ford before her, Donatella of the sort of people Hogarth would has brought so much in so many have felt totally at ease with - and so ways. And the most important are the do I. most subtle and difficult to put into words. She is an inspirational figure, How do you feel about the growing she is sympathetic to the young, trend of celebrity fashion ranges? she is patient and painstaking with I think you can guess what I feel. designers and is genuinely interested Don’t you? But just to spell it out ...it in young minds. Busy as she always is fashion journalism’s self-inflicted is, she makes time for us because why wound. We know that these things would she do it if she didn’t care? She are cynical marketing ploys, we know is a world figure and we can bring her the model, celeb or whoever does not no kudos - the traffic is all the other do the designing and yet we write way - but she and her staff are right as if we believe our own hype. It is a there with us, even at considerable disgrace. And every journalist plays personal inconvenience - and that is the game - because their editors are priceless support. too frightened to take a stand - and
British couture was very elegant and sophisticated in the hands of people like Hardy Amies. I also think that the most sophisticated and classic British designer was Jean Muir, who, had she not died tragically early, would have put most of our young hopefuls through their paces. They don’t make them like her any more and modern substitutes are, in most cases, totally unworthy followers. Like many of her contemporaries, she wasn’t interested in being famous but only in being good at her job. Sounds like a different world? You’d better believe it! Have you ever experienced a confrontation when faced with a person you’ve criticised in print?
No, because they always avoid me. Some of their friends have been known to take up the fight on their behalf by being rather sniffy - but I can cope with that. Banning from shows is the favourite weapon - and how sterile is that? Rather like a teacher who can’t keep control making an unruly pupil stand outside the classroom door. How spineless. Recently, I was informed by a very minor designer that I could only come to her show if I promised to be kind. How pathetic - and, of course, fascist - is that? Designers want wall to wall adoration, not constructive criticism, and woe betide the writer who fails to take them at their own unbelievably inflated self-evaluation. Who do you feel is the most misunderstood person in fashion and why?
Undoubtedly Anna Wintour. The reason is the bitchiness and envy that always attends a leader in the fashion world. Most of the critics would fawn risk losing advertising revenue. When like little lap dogs if she invited them Phillip Green was given a long and into her highly professional world. extremely adulatory interview in So why the sniping? The jealousy Vogue, one knew the endgame had of the inadequate. But nobody can arrived. take away from her the fact that in the past twenty-five years she has You regularly speak at the Costume Society of Great Britain - what do you not just dominated fashion, she has made it a force that touches virtually view as the most exciting period in British fashion and why? everybody now. That is an outstanding I think that to answer that would take achievement by any reckoning. She is by her appearance and demeanour the a book because it must be assessed total negation of the bourgeois and in relation to what is happening suburban - in strong contrast to most in elsewhere at the time but I would the fashion world. Anna Wintour is the put the Georgians well up at the consummate professional. top and the thirties and fifties when
As a literature graduate and a renowned academic, do you not find fashion people somewhat shallow?
Always! But also witty, amusing, entertaining and even, occasionally, genuinely generous in spirit. But I’m not going to waste my time talking about Waiting for Godot to most of them, am I? Actually, I am amazed that such intensely visual people are so lacking in curiosity when it comes to other arts, they seem to go to so few exhibitions, films or plays - except for Priscilla Queen of the Desert and Cage Au Folles, of course.
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Iron Deep / the feeling state of already having acquired these wants Photographer: Jacob Love
Interview by Stewart Who?
Line of flight
Jacob Love is this issue’s featured photographer and his images can be found throughout the magazine. The photos of barren swimming pools are from his first exhibition, ‘Line of Flight’.
Why swimming pools?
I’m really interested in progress and potential - human motivation and drive, what pushes us forward and what gives meaning to our lives. Swimming pools and leisure spaces in general engage with these ideas in a really interesting way. They allude to notions of perfection, both on a personal level as the swimmers work on developing the body beautiful, becoming ‘better, fitter, stronger’ and also on a wider cultural level. The presence of leisure facilities within society suggests a significant level of progress. It suggests that as a society we’ve reached a point where all of our basic needs: shelter; food and health care have been met. It’s frightening that having met those needs, the focus turns to: what’s to be done next? How do we fully actualise this potential? It’s the condition we face on a personal level, as privileged members of a late capitalist world. In a world where life’s task no longer has to be focused on survival, we are left with this huge responsibility. What are we going to do? I also love the reflection in the water. I have used the interaction of light with water in my work before, but this is the first time I’ve worked with still water and direct reflections. I love the way the image is split neatly into two similar, but different halves, creating two interlinked worlds that read both independently, but also as a whole. The reflection also becomes a virtual space too, because it’s real, but it’s not actually there. I like how this works with ideas of potential. For everything that exists, there is the actual realised form that it takes, but there’s also its potentialall the things that it could be.
What was the most challenging part of taking these photos?
The most challenging part was probably getting permission to photograph the pools. I had a list of about 50 pools I wanted to photograph in London; I spent a lot of time on the phone. After months of persistent calls, I got a response from about 25. Swimming pool managers appear to be very busy people. You teach photography at Goldsmiths, what have you learnt from the students?
I’ve learnt what I know and have yet to learn. I’ve learnt how much I love teaching. I have learnt more about photography. It’s often said that a photograph is always 50% about the subject and 50% the photographer. When a large group of people are all given the same photography brief, you see how true this is. Given the same guidelines, people create such wildly different interpretations. I think this is because it’s impossible for us to separate ourselves from what we photograph. I have also learnt a lot about motivation, drive and focus; which is kind of interesting to me in my own work.
You were mentored by Franko B and Wolfgang Tillmans, what did you learn from each of them?
You also take photos in nightclubs, which sounds like a glamorous job… is it?
Franko taught me to make strategies - strategies to deal with being an artist. He challenged me, forced me to confront what I was doing. Was I really an artist? If I was, then how seriously was I going to take myself? I only had one meeting with Wolfgang, but it was quite significant. At the time I was working with photographic imagery, but I was not necessarily a photographer. He told me to go away and get a proper camera, trust that my pictures were good enough, stop trying to create clever conceptual ‘reasons’ for my pictures…and to just get on with it.
If working till 4am wading through hundreds of sweaty, steroid-pumped bodies that have been chemically tricked into thinking they’re having a good time is glamorous, then yeah, totally! Ha ha! It’s not that bad. I get to waltz in on the guest list, stay for a couple of hours, take some pictures, maybe have a little dance and go home, without the hassle of having to drink, get off my face or socialise!
Of all the photos you’ve taken to date, of which are you the proudest?
I guess I am most proud of the pool pictures. But I don’t yet look at them and think, ‘Oh they’re great, well done Jacob’. I look at them and say ‘Wow that looks cool, imagine what I could do if…’
Who or what would you most like to photograph?
I really like big spaces. At the moment I’m scouting for places with interesting ceilings, particularly nightclubs, churches, theatres, gyms and hospitals. I would quite like to photograph the Houses of Parliament, or an indoor ski slope. I would love to do a massive portrait project as well, like photographing all the priests in London or something like that, culminating in thousands and thousands of pictures. What do you know about silence?
The Line of Flight photos seem to evoke silence due to the absence of swimmers. Were the venues as quiet as they look?
How has the digital age changed the way photography is taught?
They were quiet yes, but not without sound. There were the background noises of filtration systems and fans and the gentle sounds of the water. I guess this constant background sound heightened the sense of silence and stillness though, as it acted as a buffer to the sounds of the city. It was strange being totally isolated from the world outside in such an expansive space on my own. It takes time for the water to become still and find its silence. I often had to wait up to 15 minutes for the water to recover from the movements of the people that had left it.
For us at Goldsmiths, it hasn’t really. Students still learn using black and white film in 35mm cameras. There’s no better way to learn. If you work straight from digital, it’s too easy for the simplicity of photography to stay abstract. When shooting in black and white before printing your own pictures in the dark room, you really begin to understand light and what’s going on with photography. Then you can start using colour and digital properly because it all makes more sense.
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A little. I have experienced it once or twice. It’s quite a hard thing to find. It’s scary because it’s expansive and it makes us face what’s really there. I think the fear of it can motivate us into action. I think I’m ready to go looking for it again. What’s next for Jacob Love?
Well I’ve just finished my first solo exhibition and have also published a book of images from the Line of Flight series. I’m looking into new places to exhibit my work here in London and also worldwide. info@jacoblove.net www.jacoblove.net jacoblove.blogspot.com
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By Elspeth Waters
Remember that feeling of being stuck in class and suddenly watching your mate do something so funny you think you’ll simply die if you have to hold back the laughter any longer? You know that if you let rip you’ll probably get a bollocking from teacher, or worse a detention, so you try and look at the board or at the sensible swotty swots; you bite your hand… or your hair… anything to stop the giggles and snorts.
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ids don’t like to be quiet. Normal kids, that is. I hardly spoke for the first 5 years, prompting my parents to think they were raising some kind of mute. They needn’t have worried though. I could speak, of course, I simply found all that ‘A-B-C’ crap too tedious and was holding out for something a little more diverting. But then I realised the joy to be had in memorising and regurgitating each and every ad jingle all the way up the M1 to Grandma’s… and, thus, like all the other noisy children in the world I was promptly told to put a sock in it. It was this universal recognition that encouraged Lucky Day TV executive producer Damon Pattison to exploit other people’s children for entertainment purposes. And, thus ‘The School of Silence’ was born. “Kids probably hear the words “shut up” more than anything else so I decided to turn that on its head and give them a reason to stay silent – ie. a prize,” says Pattison. And just what was he bribing them with? A Playstation 3? A Wii – complete with special edition Guitar Hero? Not quite. “If the children stay quiet in the final exam they receive ‘The Golden Gobstopper’ a bespoke trophy!” he says, with more enthusiasm than I can believe. Clearly I’ve forgotten what sublimely simple creatures 10 and 11-year olds can be.
Having previously produced Noel’s House Party, Who Wants to be a Millionaire and You are What You Eat, Pattison is clearly at home with obnoxious types making an arse of themselves – with or without toxic substances. And, being a doting dad, he thought it might be neat to create something his kids could enjoy, too – which seemingly they do… as do, “the grown-up kids watching from the sidelines”, he adds.
The premise of the show is simple. On each episode, four of Britain’s noisiest kids are sent to The School of Silence where they get put through a series of rigorous training exercises. “They have three classes of ‘silent training’ (General Studies, Dining Room, Science) to help them to prepare for the final when they will face ‘Colonel Kittens’ in the gymnasium and have to be silent for a minute and a half, while we try to make them laugh.” Presumably, this Kittens fellow isn’t as kinky as his name might suggest…
Especially as they don’t actually have to do the gungeing and farting themselves – it’s all kid-eat-kid on this show. “The contestants are the ones challenging each other,” Pattison explains. “We’ve got a jar containing four coloured gobstoppers – red, blue, green and white and each of the contestants is wearing a tie in one of those colours. One of the kids takes a gobstopper out of the jar and whoever’s wearing the matching tie has to take the challenge. Of course it could be the same child doing it again and again because it’s all down to chance.”
So, just what exactly did the adults do to rib-tickle the pesky little chiddlers? “All the things you’re allowed to do to kids.” Right, ok. I’m suddenly picturing a brightly coloured torture chamber serving up (mild) electric shock therapy – or hypnosis at the very least. But apparently I’m way off base. Instead, we’re talking “putting ice down their backs, throwing gunge at them, using a fart machine, wet sponges, doing silly walks, tickling them with a feather…” It still sounds pretty torturous to me, but apparently this kind of harassment is considered kid-friendly and the ‘sadomasochists-in-training’ even enjoy it. “What comes across is the fact that they’re having a really great time.” Perhaps these are those poor kiddies you read about who’ve never experienced the ecstasy that is virtual bowling?
And are they any good at the challenges? “They’re rubbish! The funny thing with kids is as soon as you say ‘don’t laugh’, they can’t help laughing. You see them desperately putting their hands over their mouths and shushing each other. Eight out of the 13 groups passed and five failed.” Harsh. But at least there’s no fixing the results just because they’re kiddies. We can’t
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have them thinking that just because elected members of their government have been cheating the system for years that the same leniency applies to them, now, can we? So, does Pattison feel like beating children into silence is a bit of a backwards step after working with the likes of Chris Tarrant and Mr Blobby? No, indeed. “Working with kids can be harder because they won’t play along just because it’s for telly. With adults, they can be relied on to act up a bit but if kids don’t find something funny they’ll just walk off. But when it works, it’s great and the kids all give so much.” In fact, having only just finished the first series, he’s already chomping at the bit to work with CBBC again. “What they’re doing right now is so diverse and exciting – it’s really, really creative.” And, here you were thinking it was just about lurid décor, fake smiles and green goo… So, there you have it. Torturing kids is in fact permissible as long as you disguise it as “fun” and get them to do it to each other. And, while noisiness may be their default state, if you flash the possibility of a ‘prize’ in front of them, even if it is worth approximately nothing, you can pretty much get children to do anything – even shut up for 90 seconds or so. The School of Silence starts in September on CBBC. Elspeth writes ‘What You Need To Know This Week’ for thehospitalclub.com
Remember when kippers became ties and birds knew how to keep their legs crossed in a Ford Granada? When ‘70’s feminism was a red rag to The Sweeney? Men were still in control and any squeak from a freak was told to “SHUT IT!” Men were sexy then, and you knew where you stood, none of this current metrosexual malarkey, all feelings and understanding. If it wasn’t the bellowing of Thaw’s Regan that weakened a girl’s knicker elastic, it was the silent stalking of a man hanging from a helicopter delivering a box of Milk Tray. From hard to soft in a commercial break.
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and dreaming each night of his charms that won’t get you into his arms”. If truth be told, dyke Dusty was conning us and herself - so secretive in her own silence for preferring women to men in her arms. Unavailable love, with lust concealed, burns a hole in the soul, reeking of the ignored, passed over and overlooked. No wonder it’s the core of romantic bestsellers, the pain of loss more striking than the joy of connection. Yet this spiritual expression of surrender, waiting and watching, can be turned to an advantage, it just depends how you manage it.
he voyeuristic crime of unrequited love entails the silence of the suffering and the longing for recognition fuels the pumping heart. Somehow the lost heart is more powerful than one thrown at you with ease. Our egos think that love is only worth something if you earn it, fight for it and brave out the eternal silence of waiting to hear them return the sentiment, “I love you”. Sweeney types snatch and grab with a double scotch inside for courage, while the SAS man with a box in his hand waits for the moment. You couldn’t imagine D.I. Jack Regan waiting for anything. “Waiting, watching and hoping” that eyes may suddenly meet, a true homage to Dusty Springfield is the regime of the unrequited lover. “Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying, planning
Living in a quick-fix, overload society, it’s at our peril to ignore the power of patiently waiting, those moments of solace and solution. You have to hand it to stalkers. The dedication, the obsession, the planning, the
By David Parker
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waiting - is this not unrequited love? The stalker waits with a threat, but solace waits to be found. The problem is that we seldom search for solace with the passion of a stalker. Before email, text and Facebook, the plight of the voyeur took time and physical effort. Now we can scan our partner’s behaviour in an instant, on a mobile while the shower is running. You don’t mean too, but then you must. Messages, kisses, flirts and coded phrases to a love rival ignite the inner stalker waiting for a slip-up. Then the occasion arises - SHUT IT! This is no time for explanations - you shout. First you want to know, then you don’t want to know, wafting mixed messages as the pain of rejection hammers home to a greedy heart that wants it all. That had it all, as rivalled love
can strike at any time. Once it was depicted as noble to accept suffering, but these days daughters of those ‘70s feminists won’t stand for such nonsense, once betrayed, they move on with a new look and glossier lipstick. No more suffering in silence like mum. Surviving a loveless home breeds mistrust in adult relationships for children who despite a certain innocence were hearing, seeing and watching. They remember the silent anger of getting on with it, the stoic selflessness and the scowls of regret rarely expressed. Mum’s face is remembered. Modern relationship technologies encourage the breaking of silence, of saying what you feel instead of hoarding it. Co-dependent relationships are awash with the unspoken, the hidden desires that await from distance. Low self worth is the most powerful
of drugs, as controlling as a street dealer or a romantic vision of love sweating with the stalker’s presence from afar. The fear of rejection is the core of unrequited love with its crack-like highs of power, command and loss. A kindly mentor told me many years ago to be careful how you reject people, for you don’t know who is watching. Your next lover may be viewing from a distance, so watch those public behaviours. The fear of not being in control means death by invasion of our subconscious mind. The fear of discovery is the fear of shame. Fear, rejection and shame are all controlled by silence and silence kills the soul.
So, it makes sense to regularly review who you are - a bullying Sweeney, a silent action man, a sufferer of silence, a stalker or a person willing to change tactics to get your voice heard. Tell the truth quicker, come out of the metaphorical closet and SPEAK UP! Show your hand, reveal your face . . . show courage by breaking the silence.
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David Parker worked as a music industry graphic designer for over two decades. Now he’s a Lifestyle & Addiction coach. His blog, the ‘Self Help Buffet’ can be found on thehospitalclub.com
‘Incarceration.
An extract from The Enemy of the Good
By Michael Arditti
Clement ate his meal, grateful that the shock of incarceration seemed to have dulled his sense of taste. As Dwayne turned back to his magazines which, to judge by the trembling of the bunks, were of the Men Only variety, he resigned himself to an evening of introspection, resolving that first thing the next morning he would ask to visit the library. A shout of ‘Chapel’ reminded him that he had put his name down to go and, unsure of the protocol, he consulted Dwayne, who told him to ‘ring for room service,’ only for the officer who answered the bell to announce that he was too low down the list. ‘But the chaplain invited me specially,’ he said, with a rush of alarm. ‘Tough! We don’t have enough escorts. So you’ll just have to pray on your own. I’m sure Dwayne here’ll help you.’ Dwayne made no comment. ‘I said I’m sure Dwayne will help you.’ ‘Yes sir,’ Dwayne replied, with a rancour that spoke volumes. ‘Cunt,’ he spat at the officer’s back. ‘I’d no idea that there would be such an enthusiastic congregation.’ ‘It’s so’s they can get out of their pads. Talk to their mates off the other wings. Buy and sell gear. I
close his eyes and blot out his surroundings, he was jolted by a loud blast of reggae music. As Dwayne played his ‘sounds’ with no concern for him or, to judge by the shouts from the neighbouring cells, anyone else, despair as much as cowardice kept him from complaining. He pressed his pillow over his ears, but it was no more use as a muffler than a support. The nightmare grew worse when he looked up to see Dwayne’s face leering at him. ‘Hey Mr Prime Minister, this one’s for you,’ he said. Listening to the hate-filled lyrics, Clement feared that his relief had been premature. Four tracks later, he was grateful for the noise, which offered some distraction from Dwayne’s unrestrained bowel movements… although nothing could drive away the smell. Returning to his bunk, Dwayne switched off the light as abruptly as he had switched on the music. Then, after playing two more songs, he plunged the cell into a blessed silence. Clement’s reprieve proved to be short-lived, as he adjusted to as strange and disturbing a nocturnal soundtrack as any in his mother’s African stories. From the yard came the din of barking dogs and booming exchanges between
mean, man, where you been all your life?’ In cloud-cuckoo-land, Clement thought, stretching out on a bed which convinced him that prisoners would be better served by an osteopath than a psychologist. At ten o’clock he surreptitiously took his pills, only to discover that his discretion had been unnecessary when, half an hour later, Dwayne stood at the basin struggling to swallow his own dose. ‘Hey man, what you staring at?’ ‘Nothing. I’m sorry… this cell is so small.’ ‘Don’t you go getting no wrong ideas. Just because I take these pills I ain’t no batty boy… oh excuse me, gay man!’ He chuckled. ‘No sir. This here,’ he said rubbing his crotch, ‘is top quality Kitekat. Specially designed for pussies!’ Clement was obliged to revise his opinion of the authorities. The accommodation was neither arbitrary nor cruel. But, while he was no longer afraid of being vilified or harmed on account of the virus, he gave up any hope that his cell mate would be a soul mate. Glancing furtively at Dwayne rolling a table tennis ball along his biceps, he had never felt so alone. Having finally managed to
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blocks. Across the landing a man screamed that, unless he were let out, he would hang himself, sparking cries of ‘Schizo’ and ‘Nutter’, with even the duty officer telling him to ‘Shut the fuck up and get some rope!’ Meanwhile, the constant clanging on the pipes attested to either dangerously defective plumbing or sinister codes. Lying back with his senses numb and brain pounding, he wondered if sleep deprivation were to be a part of his sentence. He felt as though he were being sucked into a vast hole and refused to close his eyes for fear of becoming permanently trapped. He must have dozed off in the early hours, because he was roused by a sustained drumming on the pipes. Stealing a hurried glance at Dwayne’s watch, he saw that it was only a quarter to five. He used the loo and instinctively flushed it, inciting Dwayne to a torrent of abuse. ‘What’s up with you, man? You sick or something? Don’t you never think of anyone else?’ ‘I’m sorry. I was startled. The pipes.’ ‘It’s the Moslems. The righteous ones. The holy brothers. They have to pray, man. And I have to sleep. Right?’
Dwayne fell asleep, compounding the cacophony, but Clement remained wide awake. At breakfast, he felt as if he had spent the whole night crying, although his cheeks were bone dry. With a fluttering in his stomach that went beyond panic, he sat on the edge of his bunk unable to move until even Dwayne noticed and, glancing up from the cornflakes and UHT milk that had replaced the proverbial porridge, told him to ask the doctor for tranquillizers. ‘There ain’t no shame, man. Half the nick’s on tablets. Whatever gets you through the day.’ ‘Thanks, I’ll be fine,’ Clement replied, afraid that taking them would sanction thoughts of suicide, ‘I just need some air.’ Recklessly encroaching on Dwayne’s territory, he moved to the window. ‘I just need some air,’ he repeated, hauling himself up to one of the three inch panes that made bars superfluous and peering out at the desolate vista. He felt strangely heartened by the sight of an officer playing with a dog, albeit an Alsatian, but, when he tried to convey his pleasure, all Dwayne replied was ‘If the screws here had their ways, man, they’d change the dogs with lions.’ Mid-morning exercise gave him
a chance to go down to the yard, but his relief at being outside was tempered by the dismal surroundings. Every wall and walkway was profligately covered in rolls of razor wire and the entire area wrapped in acres of meshing. The fitter men were working out, racing around the perimeter as if in training for an escape, kicking a ball in a roisterous free-forall and practising martial arts. Only the parallel bars remained untouched, like the climbing frame on a sink estate. Meanwhile the indolent majority loitered aimlessly, their sole exertion being to stamp their feet in a bid to keep out the cold. As he tried to blend into the background, afraid of provoking an assault by an inadvertent glance or gesture, he found himself approached by a stream of baleful men. But, far from the crazed killers of his imagination, they were dealers offering supplies of drugs, tobacco and phone cards. Having declined the offers with enough grace to retain their goodwill, he was even more alarmed to be accosted by a man so intricately tattooed that he resembled a piece of William Morris wallpaper. As he stared in dismay at the sinuous pattern of swastikas, the
man announced that he was the drummer for the Aryan band, Ploughshare. ‘You have a problem with that?’ ‘No,’ he replied faintly. ‘All the bleeding hearts bang on about saving pandas and polar bears and what have you, but the white race is the most endangered species on the planet and nobody gives a fuck.’ Clement wondered if he were trying to recruit him. ‘Word is you’re a wicked artist. I want you to draw my picture to send to my tart. Make sure she won’t forget me. I’ll pay.’ ‘Oh you don’t need to do that,’ Clement replied. ‘Course I do. You should never do nothing for nothing in here, mate. You ask for nothing, they think you’re nothing. I’ll give you some burn.’ ‘Burn?’ ‘Baccy.’ ‘I don’t smoke.’ ‘No problem. You can give it me back then,’ he said, with a broad grin and a half-friendly poke in the kidneys. The Enemy of the Good is published by Arcadia £11.99 and available from all good bookshops www.michaelarditti.com
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“ IN S ILENZ IO...”
By Keith McDonnell
It might seem idiosyncratic to start a piece of music with the cry of ‘In silenzio’, but this is how Luciano Berio’s music-theatre work ‘Passaggio’ begins. At its premiere at La Scala Milan in 1963 it caused an outrage as Berio, always the innovator, dissected the standard components of opera, theatre and the spoken word and reassembled them in an uncompromising way. For ‘Passaggio’ Berio placed chorus members within the audience, thus making the whole work a battle between them and the performers on the stage. It’s interesting that the cry at the start isn’t for ‘music’ but for ‘silence’, and for a while now I’ve been fascinated by what silence means in purely musical terms. At its most fundamental level music and silence can’t exist without the other – in many ways it’s the most co-dependent relationship to be found within any art form. Silence, of course, operates across many platforms within music. At its most basic level if you listen to any piece of classical music, you probably register the music but not the silences, or rests. The opening of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony is a case in point. ‘Da-da-da-daa’ – pause – ‘Da-da-da-daa’ – pause. The pause or silence between the repetitions of the opening motif is as important to the overall structure of the work as the notes. Similarly all the instruments don’t play all of the time – that would be pure cacophony - and whilst the overall arc of the first movement comes across as melody, repetition, themes and inversions of the themes; for much of the time many of the instruments will not be playing. But do you hear them when they’re silent?
for piano, or any combination of instruments. The duration of the first movement is 30 seconds, the second 2 minutes and 23 seconds, and the third 1 minute and 40 seconds. Unlike all other compositions, the score instructs the performer not to play the instrument for the duration of the piece. A case of the Emperor’s new clothes, or a musical genius at work? Cage was making the point with 4’33” that there can be no such thing as four minutes and thirty-three seconds of silence, as the piece actually consists of the sounds of the listeners, performer and environment in which it is performed. He believed that music consisted of any sounds, and often said that he believed 4’33” was his most important work. If one takes this at face value 4’33” bridged the chasm between audience and performer, where the audience are intrinsic to the performance of the work, which leads on nicely to the whole notion of what role an audience should play in performance, and how and when it should embrace the notion of silence in music. Well it certainly shouldn’t applaud between movements in a symphony, concerto or group of songs, yet this ignorant practice has been creeping insidiously into concert-going over the last few years and it has to be said that audiences at the Proms are the worst offenders. Much of this
Whilst silence is vital to any piece of music, could a piece of music still be a piece of music if you dispensed with notes completely and the composition was solely made up of silences? American composer John Cage did just that and wrote 4’33” in 1952 which is a three-movement work intended 14
intrusive and ignorant behaviour can be put down to a lack of proper musical education at school, but its appearance can also be seen to be indicative of today’s thirst for bite-size culture. In a headlong rush for classical music to appear ‘accessible’ to the masses institutions such as Classic FM have fed their listeners morsels, tit-bits and highlights of classical music in the belief that some people are incapable of sitting through an entire symphony or piano concerto. When faced with a complete symphony in the concert hall if the first movement ends loudly, the silence that should follow is invariably filled with moronic applause. Why has the notion of silence become anathema in today’s society? And if we’re spared applause, in its place we’re likely to hear such a barrage of coughing that one could easily mistake the concert hall for a consumptive ward in a hospital. It’s hard to know whether it’s too late to hope that silence itself along with an audience’s respect for it can be re-introduced into the world of classical music, but the temptation to take a leaf out of Berio’s book and stand up and shout ‘shut up’ – in its English translation – becomes more appealing the more I think about it. What have I to lose? Keith McDonnell is a Bachelor of Music and Classical editor of musicOMH.com
Kings Hall Deep/ Emotional Freedom Technique™ Photographer: Jacob Love
Porchester Deep/ What You Don’t Know You Don’t Know™ Photographer: Jacob Love
Jacob Love is this issue’s featured photographer and his images can be found throughout the magazine. The photos of barren swimming pools are from his first exhibition, ‘Line of Flight’. 17
The Silence of the ’Shrooms
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By Wayne G
I am a ’shroom-a-holic. There, I said it. You have to understand, it’s not that I take them daily. But if they’re within a 100ft radius and I KNOW they are there. I can’t stop myself.
U
nfortunately due to a recent incident, ’shrooms have lost their appeal. Once they offered a kaleidoscope of colours, beautiful sensations and endless, hysterical laughter. Now the very thought fills me with terror. I haven’t felt such fear since watching ‘A Nightmare On Elm St’ on a pirate video I found at my Dad’s place aged 10. I’m currently recovering from a Nightmare on ’Shroom Street. I arrived at a beach house, just outside of Melbourne, to be greeted with an assortment of guests. My partner had never taken ‘shrooms or any other hallucinogens. He was hesitant. I was persistent. ‘You HAVE to try them’ I whispered. The other half gulped down his ‘shroom tea and had some on toast as a chaser. I was awfully proud of him for that millisecond. This was around 7pm. Now….I won’t bore you with the inbetween, but around 11pm it seemed we were hungry, famished in fact. We looked in the fridge. Nothing. Just a slice of bread. Between 11. We started to rummage through the home delivery menus. We were 4 miles away from the nearest town and nobody wanted our business. Finally after about 20 minutes, a pizza joint answered the phone. Yes, he was open. Yes he could make six large pizzas. No, he couldn’t deliver to where we were staying.
‘Cause it’s too far out mate, you have to come collect, will only take you 20 minutes’. We offered him $100 to come. Nope. He was having none of it. Now the sane minded of you might think, why didn’t you call a taxi to pick it up. On reflection, that would have been a great idea, unfortunately, we were too high for safe logic.
hands reaching out to stop us from going any further. And then BAM!
We sat in a circle and debated who might be tripping the least. The task was to find a driver capable of navigating the roads in the pitch black with no street lights. I volunteered my services as a passenger. I voted my partner out, although he was keen, as a novice tripper, the driving experience could tip him over the edge.
The car screeched to a halt in seconds, but felt like hours. The airbags came out. Now, I don’t know if any of you have ever been in a car when an airbag inflates, but it’s pretty damn hard to see anything other than a rubber bag that feels like it’s suffocating you. Multiply this by 100 ’cause you’re tripping and it’s not a pleasant feeling. My arms were flailing all over the place. Was I being murdered or already dead due to the accident? My life really did flash before me. It was more of an existence than I remembered, but then I blame the ‘shrooms for that.
It happened rather quickly. A very loud noise, the sight of ‘something’ and then ‘it’ hitting the window screen so hard that it shattered. The windscreen stayed intact within its frames, creating a white, glass cobweb of hell.
A guy called Sam was nominated as driver. Despite assuring us that he was no longer tripping, this was a REALLY bad choice. The photo we posed for before setting off proves this fact. We look like a pair of cartoon characters whose eyes are on springs. Sealing our fate, we joked that the snap would be good for the local press as the last photo of us seen alive. I thought that was funny at the time.
Eventually the airbags deflated and we both sat there in shock. It was at this point that the silence became deafening, overwhelming and heavy with horror. I checked that both arms and legs were intact before glancing in the mirror to make sure I didn’t have a burnt face (I have a terrible fear of a burnt face, but let’s not go there).
We took deep breaths and set off. The country roads were lit by moonlight alone. Music played on the stereo, not loudly, but enough to keep us alert. The hush of the pitch black countryside proved unnerving. Neither of us spoke. Unable to see further than the headlights, we were both utterly terrified. I could see trees whooshing past, the twigs akin to
I looked over at Sam. He was in one piece, but sobbing. ‘What did we hit?’ I asked. ‘What was that’?
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‘I don’t fucking know,’ he said, his voice quivering with fear. We sat in silence, looking at ‘something’ on the ground, just to the side of the road. We squinted into the glare of the headlights, trying to focus on the terrifying shape. I wondered if there was blood. Sam was still crying. ‘We need to get out and see what it is, and if it’s alive or dead,’ I whispered. Sam refused. ‘Let’s just turn around and go back’, he whined. ‘What if it’s a guy or woman that was hiking, you idiot? We can’t just leave them here. We might have fucking killed them,’ I screamed. Until that hysterical point, I hadn’t really thought ‘it’ could be human. ‘Come on,’ I said, attempting to take the lead. After opening the car door, Sam immediately started screaming and crying again. Terrified, I shut the door and he put the central locking on. ‘What?’ I asked. ‘What if someone threw THAT onto our car and they’re waiting, in those bushes to jump us. Murder us and then rob the car?’
Cont...
Well, I hadn’t thought of that, but courtesy of this suggestion, I now had a starring role in The Hills Have Eyes meets the Melbourne Chainsaw Massacre Vs Wolf Creek…in 3D. ‘This isn’t fucking Johannesburg’ I said, not altogether sure this was true.
It was a kangaroo. A dead kangaroo. Not only was it dead, it STANK. The smell made us both gag. On reflection, it could have been the fact that we had just killed an animal. Whilst tripping on ‘shrooms.
‘You wanted pizza,’ Sam retorted.
‘We killed a ‘roo’ I cried.
‘Listen, bitch,’ he hissed. ‘See if there’s a Joey in that pouch and I’ll forget that you just slapped my fucking face. Hard.’
‘Everyone wanted pizza, not just me’. I sobbed. ‘I’m not touching it.’ I turned to run back to the car but had forgotten I was still holding Sam’s hand.
‘Thank fuck for that’ Sam said. ‘It happens,’ screamed Sam, breaking down again. I have to say I’m not proud of what I did next. I slapped him. Hard. Not a girly tap. A big wallop of a slap that actually made my hand look and feel like a frying pan afterwards. It seemed to stop him in his tracks. I was the gay one is this car and if anyone was going to be hysterical in this scenario, it should be me. Right? On cue and ready to claim my rightful crown, I started to cry, like a big girl. For that moment, it was the most horrifying event in my life.
‘What do you mean? We KILLED a ‘roo,’ I bawled louder. The silence around us was suffocating. I really wanted to stop tripping, but it didn’t seem to be easing off anytime soon.
I was mortified, but it was a good call. It took some time to pluck up the courage. After much shaking and moaning, I slid my hand into the dead ‘roo’s pouch. It felt like a giant pair of gloves and fortunately, one of the last things I can remember about tripping that night involves a wet, reeking, giant pair of kangaroo gloves.
‘It could have been a man or woman’. Slapped Sam seemed to have composed himself at last. ‘We just have to check there isn’t a Joey in the pouch and we can get out of here and call the services’.
We made it back alive. Just. The others were more mortified that we had no food, rather than the fact we could have lost our lives and a ’roo died. Did I learn a lesson? Hell, yes. Don’t go driving for pizza whilst tripping…oh, and a ‘Joey’ is a baby kangaroo.
‘A what?’ I squealed. ‘We have to get out of the car and see who we’ve killed,’ I sobbed. ‘We can’t just leave them.’ We both took deep breaths and opened our respective doors. Sam still denies it to this day, but he put the car keys in his underpants. I tried not to think too much about this strange turn as we were about to be robbed, murdered or faced with our victim. I ran around towards Sam and grabbed his hand. I suddenly feared he might flee the scene and if he was running, we both were. Edging towards the object, step by step, we blinked in disbelief and confused anxiety.
‘A Joey, a baby. We can’t leave it in the pouch,’ he explained, suddenly full of logic and mammalian knowledge. ‘If there’s one in there, we have to take it with us and to the rescue centre’. He looked at me. It was quite a cold night, but he was sweating like a whore in a sauna. ‘Well go on,’ he urged. ‘Reach in there,’ he said, pointing at the dead ‘roo’s belly. ‘What?!’ I squealed. ‘You’re fucking kidding me, right? I am NOT touching that thing. You killed it.’
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Market Training/ Transactions and Strokes Photographer: Jacob Love
Oasis Deep Enclosed/ Wellness Active Photographer: Jacob Love
Jacob Love is this issue’s featured photographer and his images can be found throughout the magazine. The photos of barren swimming pools are from his first exhibition, ‘Line of Flight’. 21
They say silence is golden. But is it funny? I’ve been thinking about this over the past few weeks. I’m currently editing the second series of my sitcom, How Not To Live Your Life. At any one time the following people are in the edit with me: the director - Martin Dennis; producer - Gary Reich; and (of course) the editor - Andy Linton. We often debate, discuss, and disagree on whether music should accompany a scene. It’s a tricky thing to get right. I like music scoring it’s way through scenes, but agree it can sometimes be distracting. Some of the members of the team are less enthusiastic about having music in scenes, believing the comedy should have the space to breathe. At the end of the nineties and the beginning of this decade, comedy went to a very realistic place. Show likes The Royle Family and The Office got their comedy from reality. They were set in mundane environments both domestic and workplace. To have used music would’ve seemed wrong. It would’ve felt manipulative and crass. Soaps don’t score their scenes with music for the same reason - they are “meant” to be about the real world, and in the real world, we simply don’t have a string section nearby ready to play sweeping emotional music when you tell you girlfriend it’s over. Likewise, when someone says something funny in real life,
we don’t have a bass player to slap some funky bass lines a la Seinfeld. That would be great though. Or maybe very annoying.
comedy and pratfalls, not the lack of dialogue. Even in the days before “talkies” there was always music accompanying the film. It seems comedy and music have been close friends since the birth of cinema.
But is silence in a comedy show funny? Did the lack of music in The Office or The Royle Family make them funnier sitcoms? In the case of The Office, the awkward pauses were certainly part of the comic grammar. Whenever David Brent committed a social faux pas or simply said something inappropriate, it would be met with silence from the people around him. So instead of a “comedy” drum roll, The Office created the complete opposite to the old school sound effect for a gag - silence.
People often criticise Mr Bean. But it’s hugely popular, and although I prefer the acerbic wit and biting put-downs of Blackadder, I think it’s unfair to dismiss the craft of Bean. Yes, it’s an outdated form of comedy but it’s the only type of comedy that truly has no barriers. Bean sells to more countries than I knew existed and, despite negative reviews, makes a ton of cash at the box office. So if you’re a film producer or writer looking to make money, then you maybe bring back the silent comedy?
With the Royle Family, silence wasn’t really used as part of the humour, but it was part of the script. The show was very realistic. And in real life, people don’t speak in jokes. Real conversations have pauses in the middle. They’re not snappy, witty, short sentences. Especially if what everyone’s doing is watching the television.
But back to my original question. Is silence funny? Actual silence? No sound? Quietness? Dead air? Peace? Well, I think the answer’s no. Awkward pauses, yes. Pratfalls, yes. Realism, yes. But pure, unadulterated silence? No. What would happen if I gave someone a CD, that had no sound on it, but told them it’s a hysterical comedy record? Would they laugh when they heard the silence? I’m pretty certain they wouldn’t. In fact, I’m pretty certain they’d ask if there’s something wrong with the CD.
But I wouldn’t say that silence itself is funny. You could say “what about silent comedies?” - Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, etc. Well, I’m pretty certain the audiences were laughing at the physical
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By Dan Clark
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Club News
& Events It’s been a busy few months in the club, with questionnaire results being analysed (more on where we have got to with that below), lots of changes to the website and heaps of new members events - check out our photo spread. Hopefully you’re all finding it much easier to book into events, are checking out some of the fantastic features courtesy of our online team, and are joining the Groups section (where you can find out the latest on Creatives in Residence, check out clips from our Music Sessions and see the latest photos in the Parties group). Our newsletter is the key to finding out about any club news or new events, so if you happen to be one of those who still isn’t getting it, please let us know.
to be updating the lounge menu on a monthly basis, so those of you that eat there a lot have more choice. Last year, the main gripe you had was the difficulty in booking into events. It was the same again this year which is why we’ve introduced the online events booking system, which allows events to be booked weekly rather than monthly. The feedback we’ve had is that it’s fairer and easier to use. So far, so good. Just please make sure you hit “cancel” if you can’t come, so we can give your place to someone on the waiting list. If you’re having any problems online just email queries@ thehospitalclub.com and we’ll get it sorted ASAP.
Questionnaire It may seem like a while since we asked you to pour your hearts out in our annual questionnaire, so you’ll be pleased to know it’s because we’ve been looking through all your hints, suggestions and gripes and working out what we can do. It won’t surprise you to know that we can’t change everything immediately but we thought we’d share with you what we’re able to do right away and what we’re working on longer term. We’d like to say thanks to everyone for filling in the questionnaire and congratulations to Paul LeonardMorgan for winning the meal for four. We hope the other winners enjoy their bottle of wine.
The Screening Room is probably the most popular room in the building (and why not - who doesn’t want to be able to talk about a film before it’s on general release?). We know that booking into this can be an issue, so hopefully you’ve noticed that we’ve increased our number of screenings – an extra one every Friday night and two Saturdays each month we’ve got the Last Chance Saloon, where we repeat the most popular film from the previous month.
What’s already happening: While you were brimming with praise for the restaurant, we know that you’re after a wider selection of healthy/vegetarian options in the lounge, so we’ve already started introducing them. We’re also going
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Some of you have been struggling to find places to sit on occasion, so while we think through a refurb, we’ve added more furniture on the 2nd floor. You may often find yourself on a table for seven even if you’re on your own, so in those instances, reception may ask you if you mind sharing that table. Lastly, you can also ask reception if any of the meeting rooms are free when you come in, if you’re just looking for a quiet space to work. We’re showing more sport in the club, and are now moving the pool table when we show games, so that you’re not having to adjust your view around the next trick shot. We’re also looking into adding another screen permanently in the Bellini Lounge.
Coming soon… Quite a few of you mentioned that you’d like to use the club for breakfast meetings, so as of September 1st, the 2nd floor will be open from 8am with breakfast served Monday to Friday. The 4th floor will open at 9am as usual. We’ll also be opening the club from 11am on Saturdays and making brunch the order of the day. We are upgrading our Wi-fi system so you should notice an improvement in how easily you can surf through the pages of thehospitalclub.com There’s more to come but in the meantime if you’ve got any other thoughts/questions/suggestions, please make sure you get in touch.
Marketa and Oliver Membership
Our Members Events schedule is jam-packed with ways to let your hair down, be inspired by some of the best and brightest talent around or learn a thing or two. There’s always something new we’re trying on top of the firm favourites below, so make sure you keep a beady eye on our newsletter and website to make sure you don’t miss out. Join our groups to see the latest information, photos and discussions from the night.
MONTHLY
Cocktail Competition and Tasting A chance to mix up fine spirits handpicked by our cocktail experts, and win a bottle of said liquor into the bargain. Come along, shake up your taste buds and get competitive over the chance to have your creation featured on the menu for all to marvel at! Check out the Epicure group for photos, winners, and the latest inside on food and drink. MONTHLY
Poker night It’s a game of cunning, skill, nerve and sometimes even just plain luck; can you keep a straight face when you have a straight flush? From beginners to pros, enter our casino and go up against the card sharks and big slicks. Beginners get to learn the tricks of the table from 7-8pm, then the real game begins! Check out the Poker group on the web for photos, results and poker news. MONTHLY
Party Nights Whether it’s our 80’s party, a Back to Ours or a night with DJs Rob da Bank or Yoda, Friday night is the time to come in and shake your pom poms. Also don’t miss monthly Studio 24; drawing inspiration from New York disco clubs such as David Mancuso’s Loft and Michael Brody’s Paradise Garage, Studio 24 is deliciously social, eclectic, sexy and uplifting. Check out Party Nights group for up and coming events and to see photos from the evening.
Creatives in Residence events
MONTHLY
Writing Salon Budding writers, come one come all to this mixing pot of creative language and ideas. Explore your literary potential, exchange and discuss your own work or just come down to read other’s work; there’s bound to be a book or film plot in the making.
Over the course of a year, we offer support to a specially selected group of talented emerging creatives. We help develop their current projects, give them access to our studios and facilities, help build their business confidence and expand their networks. They’ve all been creating some great new work, so look out for more events and showcases. Find out more about the programme and what the Residents are up to at www.thehospitalclub. com/CiR
MONTHLY
Quiz Night There are many ways to show us how clever you are. One is the mental display counter that is The Hospital Club Quiz Night, where you can bring a group along, dazzle us with your aptitude and make up silly team names. Think pub quiz without the pub smell.
WEEKLY
Sport If you’re finding The Games Room and Belllini Lounge packed out, it’s because there’s probably a big game being screened. All fixtures we’re showing are listed online and outside the Games Room, let us know if there’s anything else you’d particularly like to see.
MONTHLY
Book Club Quite literally a literary heaven. Share thoughts on up-and-coming novels with your peers; see insight into those allegories that you did not first grasp; challenge yourself and reap the rewards of a flourishing vocabulary brought about by such an effortless insight into literature. Check online for the next book of the month. MONTHLY
Creative Capital Creative Capital continues to provide exciting opportunities for members to speak to experts on the hottest topics facing creative professionals today. Covering everything from new financial models in the music industry, to raising venture capital, make sure you don’t miss this chance to knock heads with other members and industry leaders.
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See if you can spot yourself in one of the shots from our action-packed last few months. We’ve had an amazing set by DJ Yoda and friends and are hoping to persuade him to come back in for a VJ set in the near future. The ‘80s night was a raging neon success with many of us re-hashing outfits from the past (or just finally fitting in with current fashion). When we say ‘fancy dress strongly recommended’ignore at your own peril. Back to Ours took the art of partying to another level with Junk Rubber; the littlest tennis with the biggest vision took the club by storm. Underground Rebel Bingo, well, what can we say? Nothing, it’s a secret. What happens at The Bingo, stays at The Bingo. We’re pulling out all the stops on the music front too, in the shape of the new Music Sessions and a selection of simple acoustic gigs. And finally, make sure you don’t miss out on the Members Drinks. If you’re hoping to meet other members, over the next few months we’ll be introducing a fiendishly clever way to make sure that happens. 27
UNNECESSARY. My Nan told me that “There are very few people who don’t get more interesting when they stop talking”. She also said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.” Both of these statements can be very directly applied to sport, if we can imagine that sport were a person, and more specifically football.
S
ilence in football is golden. It is rare and it is often very beautiful.
As a thirtysomething the minute’s silence has an emotional pull that is at once compelling and upsetting. My abiding memory of it at a football match was Arsenal’s Championship-deciding victory over Liverpool at Anfield on 20th May 1989 just one short month after Hillsborough which was fresh in all our minds. Even as a kid I vividly remember the tone of the nation. Most commentators, of both football and other sports had
decided that it was morally right for the title to go to Liverpool, allowing them to complete a second historic league and cup double. Some, in an unprecedented bout of hyperbolic emotion had even suggested that Arsenal forfeit the match and title out of respect to the 96 Liverpool fans who’d lost their lives. Looking back at the horror of what happened, such sentiments were understandable. But no one really wanted that. The fact that football can be cruel and benevolent in unpredictable measure is the key to its greatness. Uncertainty of outcome is why those 96 fans
were at Hillsborough in the first place – it’s what makes it what it is. Unpredictability is what makes us care. Proving this point, Arsenal scored in the last minute to win the game and the league. By one goal. We know that’s not what the deceased or their families would have wanted. But they would have wanted the game played. And played out as a competition. Respect is shown in other ways. It was almost beautifully cruel that moment- to have Arsenal snatch the title away with the last kick of an almost year-long, emotionally crippling season. I remember my Dad telling me about the silence
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in Liverpool’s ground that night. They credibly raised themselves to clap Arsenal off the pitch. But the silence is what lingers. It calls to mind the Manchester derby which commemorated the 30 year anniversary of the Munich air disaster. Fears surrounded the Manchester City fans who were rumoured to be planning to dishonour the minute’s silence. Whilst the silence was respected inside the ground, City fans were blamed for letting off firecrackers outside which could be heard inside. United, then top of the league, played the game in nonsponsored vintage kit. City, like
By David Saraga and Ben Chatfield Gettin Hectic
Arsenal, didn’t read the alls-wellthat-ends-well version of the script and promptly turned a bewildered United over. It seems strange that in a game so cruel, often so nasty and unpleasant, that the authorities have fought so hard to instil the respect of a minute’s silence. This is a sport which consistently scrapes the barrel in terms of behaviour, which consistently demonstrates man’s inhumanity to man. Respect is a word bandied around a lot in football but you will still regularly hear the chant of ‘Let him die’ as an injured player lies prone on the floor. It’s a sport where Leeds and Liverpool fans shout songs at Old Trafford which adapt nursery rhymes so the lyrics celebrate deadly runways, ice and aeroplanes. United fans return the favour when hosted at Yorkshire or Merseyside. It’s a sport where songs of ferry disasters, burning stands and serial killings sit alongside tales of Bovril and the ‘good old days’. It is the ugly side of the beautiful game. So there is something almost admirable about attempts to respect the minute’s silence with a baying crowd so often bereft of standards. But the twenty year anniversary of Hillsborough showed that it can be achieved. As the sport has undoubtedly become more superficially gentrified and cleansed, behaviour has adapted. The abuse which poured from the terraces can still be heard, whether you are sitting in front of some right wing hoorays at Stamford
Bridge or some right-wing hooligans at Millwall. However, it is tolerated less by officials, and sits less plumb with the game as it has evolved. Italia ‘90 changed everything with its classical music, its drama, its Africans, its tears, its ‘That Nice Gary Lineker’ and its England being quite good. Euro 96 cemented this. Suddenly it was alright to like football again.
beyond the anti-George Cross brigade and found something deeper. “We shall miss that sense of collective urging and striving and motivation, that passionate engaging of hearts and minds in one single direction, and the odd realisation that it was less to do with a game of football than with the discovery of an old-fashioned, un-guessed at, an un-ironic, unforced patriotism in our modern, cynical, seen-it-all English souls.”
The more celebratory nature of the game has led to more respect for silence and even an increasing custom for a minute’s applause. So why the change? Why the group respect? Has the silence been replaced by sound? Are we all kind of embracing each other? The media daily declares that we don’t know our neighbours. We drown alone in a sea of millions. As the saying goes, ‘Loneliness breeds in enormous groups of people.’ We separately watch the same TV, eat the same food, wear the same clothes from our same little boxes on the hillside. It’s true, we do lack a little community these days and perhaps this is why silence works. Where else do you get to share an experience with 60,000 people, even 10,000 people? All doing the same thing.
It is quite possibly Hillsborough which is the reason why the minute’s silence has become the customary show of respect at all sporting occasions. Yet no one really knows where it came from. The Imperial War Museum records a number of potential claims for the first, from remembering the sinking of the Titanic to a rogue South African crook who in initiated silence at the Armistice. Sometimes it’s recorded as one minute, sometimes two, sometimes just a moment. Whatever its genesis, it has now been adopted by sport and more particularly football.
So the silence can be golden. But the collective urging also works as its juxtaposition. Many bemoan the jingoism surrounding a World Cup but they miss something important. John Walsh, writing in The Independent during the 2006 World Cup put it quite poetically when he lamented the passing of the tournament and when he saw
In the World Cup final in 2006 silence was the best player. When Zizou stepped up to take the penalty in the first half he has spoken of his inner silence. Like Michael Jordan with the ball in his hands. In that moment nothing else mattered. He was in the ‘zone’. A place I always imagine soundtracked by a softer version
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of the distant clanging of being underwater. A feint white noise, everything blocked out – the sound of pure concentration almost an un-noise. When Marco Materazzi told the silent and foreboding Zizou that he was the “son of an immigrant whore” Zizou broke the silence and head butted him in the most balletic and silent (the cameras barely caught it) way ever seen. As the red card was brandished, Zizouthe graceful thug, the angelic brute (sorry, it’s gone all homoerotic again) completed what in France people refer to as ‘The Silent Walk’. He passed the luminous gold World Cup trophy like a ghost, not pausing to look at it, before disappearing into the silent belly of the stadium, never to be seen on a football field again. In the film ‘Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait’ we are offered a compelling insight into the silence which surrounded this most elegant yet brutal of footballing icons. Using cameras focused solely on him, in real-time through a game we are placed at the eye of an 80,000 person storm. Whilst mayhem reigns around him, the almost completely silent, yet magisterial, Zidane conducts his silent opus. It is the most incredible insight into the calm in the eye of the storm. As the planet screams wildly over this sport, at possibly the height/nadir (dependent on your view) of the game’s global appeal, we get to sit on the shoulder of the greatest player in the world, and all we really hear is silence....
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8
Coco Before Chanel
July
Members’ Events Highlights
preview
Directors: Anne Fontaine Starring: Audrey Tautou, Benoît Poelvoorde, Alessandro Nivola France / 2009 / 105 min / Optimum Genre: Drama
Charming her way into the fashion industry, Coco Chanel rose from a childhood growing up in an orphanage and swept through the Paris fashion world in a whirl of innovation. Très, très bon. The legendary lady is played here by the ever-charming Audrey Tautou (she of Amèlie fame) in this delicately observed biog.
Acoustic Night An informal showcase of talented strummers and singers set in the relaxed confines of the 2nd floor bar. See them here first, before they go on to conquer the music world.
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Comedy Edinburgh previews Laughter breaks down all barriers and brings us all together…unless you’re the poor sucker at the front. We’ve already been treated to the likes of Jack Whitehall (Big Brother’s Big Mouth, E4, Harry and Paul BBC), Stephen K Amos (Mob Rule C4, Graham Norton warm up artist) and Jason Wood (The Underdog Show Living TV). This Comedy Night is your chance to see new material from the country’s finest mirth-makers before it is revealed to all and sundry at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
The Music Sessions Working with our friends at the Barclaycard Mercury Prize, we’ll continue to bring you a series of exclusive live sessions, with some of the most exciting names in music. We debuted the sessions with a bang, courtesy of the raucous Blood Red Shoes and the wonderful Ladyhawke. Expect more innovative musical excellence on a monthly basis.
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Burma VJ
preview
Directors: Robert Cannan, Corinna McFarlane UK / 2009 / 112 min / Metrodome Genre: Documentary
Using smuggled footage of the 2007 government protests in Burma, this documentary gives a rare insight into a country willingly cut off from the outside world by a corrupt and secretive government. A collective of video journalists risked imprisonment or worse capturing footage of confrontations between Buddhist Burmese monks and government officials, who in turn targeted the ‘VJs’ and tried to track them down before their evidence was publicised.
highl 24 Brüno
Director: Larry Charles
Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen
US / 2009 / 112 min / Metrodome Genre: Comedy
First came Borat. You like? Jagshemash! Now Bruno swoops into the limelight to get tricksy with the unwitting public and challenge homophobia on a grand scale, in sparkly hotpants. After the MTV Awards stunt involving Baron Cohen introducing Eminem to his delicate posterior, you’ll know what to expect. Brüno (watch out for that umlaut) is a fashionista and fake German TV presenter making his way around the USA, on a grand adventure of red faces and outrage.
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August
1
Hurt Locker
preview
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
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Starring: Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes, Evangeline Lilly USA / 2009 / 131 min / Optimum Genre: Action / Drama / Thriller
Topical drama about an elite US bomb squad living from day-to-day in war-torn Baghdad. Their days on deadly duty, disarming the vast variety of home made roadside and suicide bombs slowly tick away, then a new recruit enters the team with a cowboy attitude. The high-risk occupation brings about serious psychological and emotional issues in this tense study of modern warfare.
28 15 G-Force
Director: Hoyt Yeatman Starring: Nicolas Cage, Bill Nighy, Penelope Cruz, Steve Buschemi USA / 2009 / 90 min / Disney Genre: Action / Adventure
The Underground Rebel Bingo Club The serious and competitive game of bingo is interspersed with great music and plenty of drinking. Members and general participants are sworn to protect the secret of the Underground Rebel Bingo Club with their lives. If you plan to attend please mention it to no-one and ensure that you’re not followed. Beginners and hardcore underground rebels welcome. Just keep it hush hush.
high NOTWORK
Back to Ours
This monthly party night, features some of our best DJ talent, fabulous cocktails from 42 Below and always generates loads of mischief. At each one we celebrate a different artistic happening. This year has seen everything from performances from SCOTTEE and the English National Ballet to art from Jasper Knight and the ping pong extravaganza that was Junk Rubber.
Fantasy guinea pigs probably wouldn’t be your first choice when trying to stop the world being taken over by an evil megalomaniac billionaire, but when they’re trained secret agent rodents equipped with a full range of spy gadgets it’s a whole different story. G-Force is live action mixed in with CGI wise-cracking furry fellows, accompanied by the vocal talents of Nicolas Cage, Bill Nighy and Steve Buschemi. Just don’t mention Peruvian delicacies…
TBC
There are more musical renditions on their way as we continue working together with club members’ Citizensound. Last time NOTWORK included an acoustic performance from the sparkling Fanfarlo, of whose album Rough Trade said, “the best English album we’ve heard in years - it’s gorgeous, and lush, and warm.” Check the events page for updates.
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Broken Embraces Director: Pedro Almodóvar Starring: Penélope Cruz, Lluís Homar Spain / 2009 / 112 min / Pathe Genre: Drama / Thriller
A new one from Pedro Almodóvar, featuring his muse Miss Cruz. Fans of Volver and the quirky, surreal, soapy drama of Almodóvar’s world will be keen to get their teeth into this latest offering, which was selected to compete for the Palme d’Or. In Broken Embraces, genres and characters are jumbled around with gleeful abandon. Harry is a blind writer and ex-film director, who gets into a complicated relationship with a glamorous call girl.
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Cocktail Competition Our drinks tasting evenings here at the club have evolved into fierce battles for booze-based glory. Well, perhaps they’re not so dramatic, but they are at least the chance to have your cocktail on our menu for a month if your concoction is the chosen one. You’ll be mixing it up with the chosen fine spirits handpicked by our cocktail experts, and, providing you are victorious, singing all the way to Margaritaville.
(500) Days of Summer Director: Marc Webb Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel USA / 2009 / 95 min / Fox Searchlight Genre: Comedy
Tom, the hopeless romantic, falls in love with Summer (through a mutual admiration of The Smiths, naturally) a girl who doesn’t believe in such soppy stuff. Thus, alas, Tom has a tough time getting through the next 500 days; the ups and downs and the eventual outcome of this seemingly unrequited love.
September
Members’ Events Highlights
hlights 4 7
The September Issue Director: R.J. Cutler
Starring: Anna Wintour
USA / 2009 / 90 min / Momentum Genre: Documentary
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80’s Night
The 80’s revival continues to barge its way into popular culture in a brash day-glo manner. Even high street shops are starting to flog beige sports jackets with sleeves ready-rolled. The horror! Our last 80’s Night was a wild success, so there’ll be another opportunity for all you karma chameleons to get decked out appropriately and throw some shapes to over-produced synthesiser power pop.
18-22 Provisional dates
This documentary follows the editor of fashion bible Vogue, Anna Wintour, in the run up to the heftiest edition of ever. Promising to be a real-life edition of The Devil Wears Prada, it gives a rare insight into the larger-thanlife exploits of the magazine’s editors and the fashion industry from behind closed doors. What really goes on behind the catwalk?
Away We Go Director: Sam Mendes Starring: John Krasinski, Maya Rudolph USA / 2009 / 98 min / E1 Genre: Comedy / Drama
Fashion Week With the main events playing out at Somerset House, a mere hop, skip and a jump away from the Club, there’ll be plenty of frock and frill based action happening at The Hospital Club. Just try not to be too fashionably late. 31
This collaboration between British director Sam Mendes and widely acclaimed, ground breaking writer Dave Eggers looks to be well worth checking out. A couple who are expecting their first child travel around the U.S. in order to find a perfect place to start their family. Along the way, they have misadventures and meet with a variety of relatives and old friends who just might just be able to help them find a place to call home.
London & the UK
Speed dates
July
August
September
3 - 25 The Importance of Being Earnest, Open Air Theatre, Regents Park
29 May - 22 Aug Hamlet, Wyndham’s Theatre, Charing Cross Rd.
11 - 13 Sept Bestival, Isle of Wight
A spot of Oscar Wilde in the great outdoors. Where better to enjoy Wilde’s last play of satirical delight and farcical mistaken identities than amongst the flora of Regents Park’s inner circle? Whether you were born with a silver spoon or abandoned in a hand-bag, you’re sure to be entertained.
Jude Law suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune to play the Dane. Can he eclipse the rock star-like reception that greeted David Tennant? Sure to be one of the hottest tickets in theatreland this summer.
While many of the major festivals seem to be looking nostalgically backwards, Wireless is all about the here and now. Saturday focuses on stomping dance acts and the chart topping Dizzee Rascal. Sunday maintains the pace with a hip hop/R&B theme featuring Q-Tip, N-Dubz and Noisettes. Kanye closes the weekend’s proceedings with his vocoder wobbly voice machine and may confuse things completely.
It’s like the last ten years never happened down in Chelmsford. Richard Branson’s V Festival packs in the crowds eager to see Oasis, Ocean Colour Scene, James and Starsailor on the wave of 90’s nostalgia. There’s also pop from Lilly Allen, The Saturdays, The Ting Tings and…er The Proclaimers. Still, it’s normally sunny, so when the weekend’s highlight The Specials come on, you can don a pork pie hat and have a good old knees-up with the boys and girls from Essex.
22 & 23 V Festival. Chelmsford/Weston Park, Staffordshire
4-5 Wireless Festival, Hyde Park
16 -19 July Latitude. Southwold, Suffolk
28 - 30 August Edinburgh International Television Festival
A festival after our collective hearts, an eclectic mish mash of music, theatre, poetry, cabaret, literature, opera, comedy, dance and probably some annoying jugglers too. On the big stage Grace Jones will be snarling and looking for trouble, Nick Cave will be sneering, and the Pet Shop Boys will bring their own special brand of dry, sherbet-flavoured pop.
Since 1976 this has been the place for TV industry folks to meet and discuss strategy, make contacts and seek inspiration. The Channel of the Year Awards will be hosted by that charming comic Michael McIntyre, and there’s a TV masterclass from the creator of the critic’s fave The Wire. Ant & Dec are on hand to host a special edition of TV’s Got Talent. It’s yet to be confirmed if contestants will undergo psychological testing.
6 July - 14th October The Fourth Plinth
Sculptor Antony Gormley has been given the Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square to make his own…and in a democratic twist, has made it ours. Every hour, 24 hours a day, for 100 days without a break, different people will make the Plinth their own. Expect oddities, show offs and occasional beauty.
29 May - 13 September Abstract America – Saatchi Gallery
Wild and wonderful painting and sculpture from the U.S. of A. is showcased at the Saatchi, in a retro-modern theme. If your idea of art is a canvas torn up by a team of rampaging motorcyclist’s wheels, or a giant origami piano and pianist made from blue tarpaulin, then this is the show for you.
11 & 12 July Cornbury Festival, Oxfordshire
Sugababes and The Damned play on the same stage (simultaneously, fingers crossed) at an olde fashioned family-friendly English Fair in the lovely Cotswolds. Roasted hogs, merry-gorounds and The Pretenders, what more could you want from a weekend? Throughout July & August England People Very Nice. National Theatre
Richard Bean’s controversial play follows the experiences of immigrants coming to Bethnal Green from the 17th Century to the present day “leaving no cobbled stone unturned”. Protest, religion, housing & job issues, violence, love lives and friendship are all themes in this rich theatrical tapestry.
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Those of you weeping a fond farewell to the summer can do it in style down at Rob Da Bank’s Bestival, don some outrageous fancy dress (this year’s theme is 2009: A Space Oddity, so start sewing together your cosmonaut/freaky tentacled alien monster costume now) and get wildly eccentric. Expect freaky in the fields to a soundtrack of Fleet Foxes, Kraftwerk, Massive Attack, Squarepusher and MGMT. It’s all about yurts, this year, apparently. 18 - 22 London Fashion Week
The main event proceedings move this year to Somerset House from their previous home at the Natural History Museum. With the return of the likes of Matthew Williamson, showing his spring/summer 2010 collection, Burberry with a main collection and Pringle of Scotland for their 195th anniversary, London Fashion Week is set to be a display of legendary fashionable attire. 19 - 27 September The London Design Festival
This year designers have the chance to nominate themselves to decorate the interior of the V&A entrance tunnel. Along with several themes and side projects, designers can get involved in creating and suggesting ideas for toys made from sustainable materials, like dollies made from vegetable peelings, perhaps. Temporary installations will be pop up all over the city, including outside the Royal Festival Hall and the South Bank.
Concise Calendar
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
02
01 Cocktail Competition 7pm (GR) Three Miles North of Molkom 9pm (SR)
06
07
July
Writing Salon 7pm (RR) Burma VJ 7pm (SR)
13
August
09
Coco Before Chanel 9pm (SR)
14
Comedy Night 7pm (FF) Anti-Christ 7pm (SR)
15
16
Poker Night 7pm (FR) Taking of Pelham 123 9pm (SR)
20
21
22
Skin 7pm (SR)
Quiz Night 8pm (FR)
Land of the Lost 9pm (SR) tbc
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28
29
Book Club 7pm (RR) Sin Nombre 7pm (SR)
23
30
Bruno 9pm (SR)
Saturday
03
04
The Private Lives of Pippa Lee 7pm (SR) tbc The Hangover 9.30pm (SR)
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen 2pm (SR) Moon 7pm (SR)
10
11
Ponoyo On a Cliff 7pm (SR) Orphan 9.30pm (SR)
Imagine That 2pm (SR) Terminator Salvation 4.30 (SR) Year One 7pm (SR)
17
18
Coco Before Chanel 7pm (SR) Public Enemies 9.30pm (SR)
Studio 24 9pm (ML) Ice Age III 2pm (SR) The Proposal 7pm (SR)
24
25
Back to Ours 8pm (ML) Mesrine Killer Instinct 7pm (SR) Bruno 9.30pm (SR)
G-Force 2pm (SR) Year One 4.30pm (SR) Public Enemies 7pm (SR)
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01
Moon 7pm (SR) Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince 9.30pm (SR)
Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince 2pm (SR) Hurt Locker 7pm (SR)
03
04
05
06
07
08
Writing Salon 7pm (RR) First Day of the Rest of Your Life 7pm (SR)
First Tuesday 6.30pm (FF)
Cocktail Competetion 7pm (FF) Mesrine: Public Enemy No.1 9pm (SR)
Underground Rebel Bingo 7pm (FF)
Dance Flick 7pm (SR) The Proposal 9.30pm (SR)
G-Force 2pm (SR) Public Enemies 7pm (SR) The Ugly Truth 7pm (SR)
10
11
12
13
14
15
Mid August Lunch 7pm (SR)
Quiz Night 8pm (FR)
Poker Night 7pm (FR) GI Joe 9pm (SR) tbc
Taking of Pelham 123 7pm (SR) tbc Broken Embraces 9.30pm (SR)
G-Force 2pm (SR) Land of The Lost 7pm (SR)
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18
19
21
22
Mesrine: Killer Instinct 7pm (SR) Mesrine: Public Enemy No.1 9.30pm (SR)
Aliens In The Attic 2pm (SR) Bruno 4.30pm (SR) Funny People 7pm (SR)
28
29
Back to Ours 8pm (ML) The September Issue 7pm (SR) tbc District 9 9.30pm (SR) tbc
Shorts 2pm (SR) Adventureland 7pm (SR)
04
05
Away We Go 7pm (SR) Pandorum 9.30pm (SR) tbc
Morning Light 2pm (SR) tbc I Love You Beth Cooper 7pm (SR)
11
12
A Perfect Getaway 7pm (SR) tbc Funny People 9.30pm (SR)
Aliens In The Attic 2pm (SR) Land of The Lost 4.30pm (SR) Inglorious Barsterds 7pm (SR)
18
19
The Soloist 7pm (SR) tbc Case 39 9.30pm (SR)
Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince 2pm (SR) Surrogates 7pm (SR) tbc
25
26
500 Days of Summer 7pm (SR) The Hurt Locker 9.30pm (SR)
Studio 24 9pm (ML) Morning Light 2pm (SR) tbc 7pm (SR) tbc
Bustin’ Down The Door 7pm (SR)
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31
25
01
08
02
03
09
10
Poker Night 7pm (FR) Inglorious Barsterds 9pm (SR)
15
A Prophet 7pm (SR) tbc
21
27
Cocktail Competition 7pm (FF) Julie & Julia 9pm (SR)
Writing Salon 7pm (RR) The September Issue 7pm (SR) tbc
14
26 Management 9pm (SR)
Fish Tank 7pm (SR)
07
20
Adam 9pm (SR)
Book Club 7pm (RR) Broken Embraces 7pm (SR)
September
08
Friday
17
16 9pm (SR) tbc
22
7pm (SR) tbc
24
23 Creation 9pm (SR)
28
29
30
Book Club 7pm (RR) 7pm (SR) tbc
Quiz Night 8pm (FR)
Dorian Gray 9pm (SR) tbc
Inglorious Barsterds 4.30pm (SR)
Members Event Pre-Release Screening Screening Children’s Screening
(SR) Screening Room (TV) Studio (ML) Martini Lounge (FR) Forest Room (GR) Games Room (BB) Bellini Bar (G) Gallery (CR) Club Restaurant (RR) Rocket Room (FF) First Floor (2nd) Second Floor (L) Library
Members’ events and screenings are released for booking on the 20th of the preceding month. Free Admission. To book call 020 7170 9303 or visit www.thehospitalclub.com If you book and have to cancel please let club reception know so that another member can have your place. 33
From The Basement
Maguffin/Sky Arts HD
Rock Profile
Matt Lucas & David Walliams comedy. Hat Trick Productions for FunnyorDie.co.uk.
Albums of the Year
Live performances and multiple live broadcasts. Nationwide Mercury Prize
Frock Me
Fashion & Music Series. Superbox/C4
Duran Duran
Liberty Bell/Joly Good TV for Sky Arts HD
Club Music Sessions
Members’ event
Strictly Come Dancing
It Takes Two. Daily Fanzine Show. BBC Entertainment / BBC Two
4 Music Specials
Including Coldplay & Pink. Eyeworks/T4
T4
Links & Music Days. Eyeworks/T4
With 250sq m of studio space to play with, The Hospital Club Studios are all about flexibility. As the first multi-camera HD studio in Europe, we can facilitate any live or pre-recorded productions. We have HD, SD and multi-track music recording capability, luxury green rooms, dressing rooms, make-up facilities and production offices. To find out more please call Anne Marie Phelan on 020 7170 9110, email studio@ thehospitalclub.com or visit www.thehospitalclub.com/studio