Play Dead

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PLAY DEAD 4 Prologue 5 One 8 Two 17 Three 24 Four 34 Five 44 Six 55 Seven 67


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PLAY DEAD ! ! !

BY VIDA INTING

Oftentimes, in stories, when people are faced with situations they have been trying hard to avoid, they end up doing massively stupid things.

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Fake amnesia, cancer, pregnancy. Maybe even a bet.

But for Chastity "Chase" Rogers, having her past all of a sudden creep up on her after running away from it‌

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Well, what was she even supposed to do?

She did what no one would have ever expected her to.

She pretended to be dead.

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Copyright Š 2013 by Vida Inting All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.


Prologue !

Chastity

Well, shit. Those were the first words that immediately entered my mind as I stood there in the flat my sister and I were currently living in, gaping at the people in front of me. I was frozen in my spot and couldn’t even breathe, to say the least. I had only just come home from university and was on my way to work when I decided to drop by our place first, only to see a car parked by the driveway right outside our flat. Curiosity got the best of me so I quickly went inside to check who it was, leading me, of course, to where I was at that precise moment. Charity, my sister, was sitting on the couch, right beside them—the two of them. She had a very anxious look on her face when I first got there, but right then and there, as the three of them continued to stare at me as I was staring at them, my sister’s expression instantly turned from worried to surprised…to just plain sorry. And that face—that certain look on her face—was what brought back all the memories for me. The first time I ever saw it was when I was five and she was fifteen and our mom had only died of Leukaemia after struggling with it for two years. I was really young back then, obviously, but Charity was there to comfort me throughout all the years that I struggled to adapt to the reality that our mom was never going to come back. I learned to deal with it, eventually, until our dad decided to leave us two years later when I was only seven and Charity was seventeen. From then on, I always saw that look plastered on her face, even when we were put under the care of our grandparents, who were the best people in the world. They sheltered us, fed us, educated us, and most importantly, they gave us the love that we needed. It wasn’t long, though, until Charity turned eighteen and got the emancipation she oh-so badly wanted. And from there, we both moved all the way from Washington, D.C. to Doncaster, England, where she insisted on us starting a new life and forgetting about all the horrid things that had happened. I was eight years young at that point, so I had to stay in school and be the best fourth grader I could have been, whilst Charity worked and studied in university at the same time. That was where I met Louis Tomlinson, who was the best person to have ever been placed in my life, aside from, of course, my sister. For years, we had been inseparable. We did everything together and told each other everything, almost as if we were brother and sister. However, that was beyond what I had always thought of him. To me, he was my better half—my soul mate, to put it in a more cliché term. Although to him, I was nothing more than his best friend; I was like a “little sister” he could always protect.


So as soon as I turned fifteen and Charity told me that we had to go back to Washington, D.C. to take care of our dying Grandfather, I knew that was my only shot at telling him how I really felt. At the time, I remember being a nervous wreck and him even putting his arms around me saying how everything was going to be okay. But he was wrong, wasn’t he? Because as soon as the words “I’m in love with you” left my lips, he looked at me as if I was insane and began babbling things like, “I don’t think of you that way,” “Maybe we can stay in touch,” or even “You’ll always be my little sister,” which—let’s be real here—wasn’t exactly the best reaction a teenage girl would expect to come from the best friend she has been hopelessly in love with for a long time. However, that was what happened anyway. Besides, I was already scheduled to leave the next day anyway, so I guess with all of those things said and done, all I was left to do was bid him goodbye and leave. As I had been moping around back then, my sister had told me it was probably because we were leaving and he didn’t want to make things any more complicated than they already were, but I knew she was wrong. It was simply because he didn’t feel the same way, which figures, doesn’t it? I was an ugly teenager and I was overweight. I mean, I was lucky enough to have had him as my best friend, considering he had the option not to. He was the kind of guy who was always friends with everyone, after all, while I was the girl who tried her best to go unnoticed for the rest of eternity. But for me to be three hundred pounds at age fifteen? Yeah, good luck having anyone remotely close to someone like him fall in love with that. But I guess, in a way, having him reject me was a blessing in disguise. After all, I was encouraged to become healthier as soon as we arrived in America. And since then, as I took care of our grandmother after our grandfather passed away, I had tried my best to become as healthy as I could be. Four whole years was how long it took me to look the way that I do now. I had to spend countless months of struggling to eat the right kinds of food and to gain energy to exercise every single day just so I could work my ass off. From then on, it was as if my mission was to change everything about me physically. I had to dye my hair, I had to overcome all my skin problems, and I even had my teeth fixed. Then by the end of it all, I was as healthy as anybody could have imagined. I didn’t have the perfect body or curves that every girl would die for, but I was healthy and that was how I liked it. At age nineteen, with no family left in the States, my sister and I decided to go back to England—London, to be exact—to once again start anew.


By then, I was aware of what had happened to Louis as he had ended up with a singing contract and a spot in pursuing his dreams, so I was incredibly proud of what he had achieved. Together with his band, they were basically the talk of every town and city in Britain, which didn’t really make it that difficult to learn about his life or the highlights of it. In all actuality, it even made me knowledgeable of the fact that he was currently in a happy relationship that was being watched and critiqued by the public eye at all times. It was news like that one that often kept me on the grid of not really wanting to get involved with him and longer. But then again, I guess as much as I would have loved to have gotten over him throughout those four years that I was away…I simply couldn’t. I had to admit that with him being the constant reminder of why I was trying to be healthy in the first place, it only made me fall in love with him more. So with him sitting right then and there in front of me after all those years of tragic pain, it simply didn’t surprise me with how bad I was reacting. His expression and position, however, was what bugged me incredulously. Charity was seated to his left while his girlfriend sat quietly to his right with their hands having been intertwined. I guess having my sister know about my feelings and everything else was all the explanation that I needed to keep in mind as to why she had that look on her face. Finally gaining enough courage, I took a few steps towards them and held out my hand, actually managing to squeak out a faint sound of what I at least called a greeting—a somewhat weak mumble of “Hey.” But as soon as I did so, I immediately regretted it seeing as Louis just sat there staring at the hand that was held out in front of him. I considered taking it back countless of times, in all honesty, but the words that left his mouth was what instantly froze me in my position once again. “Who are you?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in a flash of a second.


One Chase Mitchell

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Chastity

“Chastity is dead.” Those words kept on running in my mind over and over again as my sister continued to rant and shout at me for what had happened barely moments ago. In all actuality, what Charity was saying was more of a side comment to herself rather than a sermon for me, but that was beside the point. I, however, still wanted her to have the satisfaction of thinking that I was listening to her, so I remained seated on the couch with my feet propped up on the table. It was obvious how apathetic I was being about the whole thing that had just went on, but knowing that she was almost going to have a heart attack, I decided to show that I at least cared about the situation by staying instead of going straight to work. “Are you insane?” she yelled, finally addressing me after endlessly pacing back and forth in the middle of our living room. “You told Louis and Eleanor you’re dead! Are you out of your mind?” I shrugged, continuing to play with my nails. “You already asked that,” I said blankly. “You just rephrased it.” “You’re going to tell them that you’re alive and that you’re you, Chastity,” she scolded, once again beginning to pace back and forth. “Now.” “No way!” I protested. “I’ve lied, I can’t take it back.” And indeed, I couldn’t. I wasn’t saying I couldn’t take it back anymore simply because I didn’t want to, but because I just really couldn’t. What I had said moments before was a lie made out of impulse, and lies that were made impulsively weren’t meant to be taken back under any circumstances. However, even though that was the case, I still did feel a tad bit guilty for lying straight to Louis’ face. I guess, in a way, I just couldn’t face the fact that he was sitting right in front of me, asking me who the hell I was after everything the two of us had been through. I understood that things had changed drastically the moment I left Doncaster, but I didn’t expect for me to have changed so much that he wouldn’t have been able to recognize me. That wasn’t the plan at all. I was still supposed to be the same Chastity he knew very well and loved—as a sister—except physically improved.


Nevertheless, I wasn’t going to let an opportunity such as him not recognizing me slip away that easily. Like, come on, a guy you’ve always been in love with rejects you and four years later you’re given the chance to re-do everything and keep some of your dignity to yourself—that was how I was seeing it. Was I really going to pass up that chance of preserving myself from the humiliation? Of course not. So as soon as I realized he had no idea that I was myself, the words, “Chastity is dead,” immediately spun out of my mouth before I could’ve even stopped them. The funny things was, having known Louis for a long time, I thought he wouldn’t have bought it. Sure, he was immature one hundred percent of the time, but the lad wasn’t all that stupid. So it definitely surprised me when he believed the whole “I’m Chase Mitchell and I was Chastity’s best friend” bit. Even as I was going on about how I was now living with Charity and taking care of her for the sake of Chastity, I thought Louis would’ve had figured out that I was lying, but he surprisingly didn’t. He listened intently to all the fake stories I kept babbling on about, then explained his side of the story after I finished. Turns out he had only found out about Charity and I moving back to England about a month ago even though we’ve both been there for nearly nine months. He said he knew where we had been living for at least two weeks, but was only able to actually visit up until now. He had brought his girlfriend, Eleanor, along with him simply because “he wanted his best friend to meet his girlfriend,” which to me, sounded like an invitation to a slap on the face. Nonetheless, the expression on his face—which, to me, looked like complete and utter grief—as the thought of me being dead passed in his mind was pretty satisfying to see. Yes, satisfying. I mean, I’m allowed to let him get hurt because of me too, aren’t I? Of course, the whole time he was around, he had managed not to speak of the awful goodbyes we had both bid to each other years before, which was probably either because his girlfriend was there or he just didn’t care about what happened anymore. Well, wasn’t that just great? I was the only one holding a grudge. There were moments, though, wherein he’d suddenly tell all of us stories about our childhood and I’d suddenly get that heart wrenching feeling in me that would almost make me admit the truth. Almost, because that was until my eyes would once again land on his and Eleanor’s hands that were perfectly laced around one another. Because then, I’d just go back to lying again. And that was also the constant reminder in my head of why I was trying my best to ignore the pointless conversation I was currently having with Charity. She kept going on and on about how “she raised me better than that” and how “Louis is not worth screwing things over,” but to be quite honest, I really begged to differ. “Well, if you’re done being such a twat now, I’m late for work, so can we continue this stupid conversation some other time?” I interrupted her from her lecture, which I stopped listening to, like, half an hour ago. I stood up from the couch I had been on for who knows how long.


As soon as I got to the door, though, Charity immediately stopped me. “You can’t hide from him forever, Chastity,” she said through gritted teeth. “Soon enough he’ll figure out that you’re actually—” “The loser who used to drool over him all the time?” I interrupted before she could’ve said anything else. At least that caused her facial expression to soften—pity, that was it. “Yeah, I’m sure he will. But for the meantime, I’m going to have some fun being ‘Chase’.” “You know that’s not what I meant,” she began, immediately making me roll my eyes. “I just don’t get why you’re doing this. You’ve worked so hard for that moment a while ago, Chast. You basically lived four years of your life for him and now that he was finally acknowledging you, you let everything slip away.” I swallowed hard, feeling a lump down my throat. “I changed everything about me not only because of him, but also for myself, and you know that,” I defended. “But how the hell was I supposed to tell him that I was me when all I could think of the moment I laid my eyes on him was how he rejected me four years ago?” “Chastity—” I tried my best to flash her a smile, though I was pretty sure it looked far from that. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. He has Eleanor,” I desperately attempted to shrug it off. But just even thinking about her name and who she was wrecked me, let alone actually saying it out loud. “I mean, did you even see the girl? She’s perfect.” I really wasn’t one for the melodramatic conversations, which was actually quite ironic considering what I’ve been through ever since I was a kid. But then again, my sister and I have never really been the kind of people who talked about what they felt. Maybe that was the reason why I had gotten so used to light-weighted chats and why the two of us felt so awkward talking about something so serious at that point. “Anyway, I need to go to work now. We’ll talk whenever,” I waved off, opening the front door and wanting oh-so badly to get out of there and get some fresh air. But just as I was about to leave, I turned back to look at Charity, who still obviously had a lot to say. She was shaking her head. “But just so you know, you can’t do anything to make me take back what I did. What’s been done is done and I’m pretty sure he’s never going to bother me again.” And then I slammed the door and walked out on her. I was quite surprised when Charity didn’t come running after me, yelling or threatening to kick me out. That was Charity for you. But then to myself, I thought, maybe she actually did have a point. It was a stupid idea, no matter what angle you choose to look at it. But I didn’t know what I was thinking—if I was even thinking in the first place. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. I keep telling myself I said all those to get rid of him and to get him to leave me alone, but if I couldn’t even convince my own self, then how in the hell was I supposed to convince others? “Chastity is dead,” the words couldn’t stop echoing in my ear.


And then Louis’ face comes in to view. That look of shock and disbelief on his face kept haunting me. “No,” he had said firmly, gripping Eleanor’s hand tighter and shifting in his seat. “You’re joking. Where is she? She’s going to come out right now and tell me I’m being pranked, isn’t she?” “No, she got into a car accident two years ago,” I lied. I had my back against Charity, but it was as if I could almost feel her digging holes through me with her glare. “I’m sorry.” And then there was silence. A bit of arguments here and there, with him still not believing me, but eventually (and finally), acceptance. Charity excused herself as soon as Louis started believing me. I figured she was furious and, judging by the endless sermons, I was right. She had every right to be, didn’t she? “Who are you?” he asked again, just like he did the moment I entered the flat. I could feel my throat tighten, so I ended up blurting out the first thing that came into mind. “Chase?” I squeaked, sounding unsure. Louis looked confused from the tone of my voice, causing me to clear my throat and repeat myself. “Chase…Chase Mitchell.” I remember thinking, yes, yes, that was good. I was getting better at lying. “I was Chastity’s best friend, but now I’m staying with Charity to look over her, for the sake of her sister.” And then more lies after that, until eventually, even I felt like the things I was saying were true. All those were like captured on video in my mind and my head kept acting as if it was some DVD player that couldn’t stop replaying what happened. It was almost as if it was doing it on purpose to have me retreat and march right up to Louis to just tell him the truth. This was how I knew I needed time. I needed time away from all the things that had just recently occurred and I needed at least a moment to think about what I had done without Charity shouting at me to tell me that I was being stupid. God, my conscience and thoughts were going to be the death of me. “Whoa, you look like shit,” my co-worker, Nate, instantly commented as I got through the doors of the nightclub blocks away from my house. I chuckled, immediately feeling at ease as soon as he hooked his arm around my neck and gave me a quick hug. “Charming,” I said sarcastically. He quickly handed me a camera—one that seemed to have been new—and rolled his pale blue eyes at me. “Well, if you must know, this charmer has been covering up for your late ass for almost an hour now, so you might as well go on ahead with this thing we call our job.” I grinned at him as I put the lace of the camera around my neck. “Thanks, Nate,” I drawled, ruffling his bushy blonde hair. “You’re the best.” “Hey!” he complained, quickly fixing his hair at a reflection behind me before managing to comment an obnoxious, “I know,” to what I had previously said.


I brushed past him lightly then quickly made my way around the place, snapping pictures of random people who seemed to be having a good time. And just being in that atmosphere with the camera in my hands and my fingers doing their thing like I was the only person in that room with the intention of photographing other people’s happy memories, it almost immediately took all the weight off of my shoulders and gave me the light sense of feeling that had been taken away from me during that day. Photography was my passion and I was just glad that it was my escape for everything. “Hey, hey!” a guy who was sitting in the VIP section suddenly yelled as I shot a picture of him and all the girls that were surrounded him. “No pictures, alright?” Well, my escape for everything but assholes, I guess. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, taking another picture of him as he continued to flirt with each girl, whilst still managing to puff a cigarette like he was the best thing that ever happened to the world. It was the perfect spot in the club too, if you’re going to ask me. It was dark and it was private—evidently perfect for users like him to lure in girls and make every one of them feel special, while watching dozens of other girls flirt with him. “Hey, I told you to stop!” he shouted once again, only this time, standing up from the comfortable-looking couch he was sitting on. He wobbled a little, obviously under the influence of too much alcohol, and began walking towards me. He was a few feet away when I decided to take pictures of him again, not taking my finger off of the button. Each movement of his was caught on camera like a paparazzi and although I couldn’t see clearly, I was pretty sure they also showed how angry and pissed off he was becoming by the second. He made a grab for the camera I was holding, but I was able to yank it away from him. I smiled teasingly. “Unfortunately, it’s my job, so…” I trailed off, taking one last picture of him as he stopped dead on his tracks and stood right in front of me. It was extremely dark even with laser beams flashing everywhere, so I couldn’t really see his face. Too bad; I bet the angry facial expression would’ve been classic. “Well, you’ve gotten enough.” Okay, scratch that. The angry tone of his voice was enough to prove to me that he was boiling with anger and annoyance. I raised my eyebrows. “Who are you to tell me if I’ve gotten enough or not?” I yelled over the blaring music. “Delete the pictures or I break the camera!” he taunted, failing to grab it from me once again. I laughed hysterically. “Break it, but you’re going to have to explain to my boss that it was your doing, not mine.” I removed the lace of the camera from my neck and held it tightly. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t want to have to deal with Nick right now. Fridays are usually off days for him. Your call.”


“Are you actually talking about Nick Wades?” He chuckled. “The guy’s one of my mates. I could have you fired in an instant if you don’t delete the pictures.” I felt myself shrink under his towering stance as soon as he threatened to get me removed from my job. Good thing he couldn’t see my face because I was pretty sure I’ve already lost all hopes of keeping my dignity after that failure of an argument. My job was simple. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would’ve been the first time I applied for it, but it was simple. I’d say I make a pretty decent living off of it too, considering I earned around £50 three hours a night, three days in a week. However, balancing all of the crap I had to deal with at work during night time while trying to survive university in the day could be quite tricky at times. I’ve managed to pull it off for around seven months now, though, so it wasn’t really that big of a deal. I was just glad I could help Charity with some of the expenses, since she’s been working her arse off for me for years. But, you know, this? It was times like this one that made me think like it’s not worth it after all. Immediately wanting to get out of there, I handed him the camera. “There…delete it, break it, I don’t care.” The sudden change in my voice must’ve surprised him because he just stood there awkwardly with the camera in his hands as he tried to figure out what I was doing. He wasn’t breaking it, though, which oddly angered me. I was exhausted from that day and I already had so much going on to think about that I just wanted to let it all out on someone. It was an unlucky day for him. “Oh, so now you don’t want to?” I retorted, taking hold of the camera again. “Fine, I’ll do it for you.” And without even thinking, I threw the camera on the ground and endlessly stepped on it until it finally fell apart with some pieces scattering on the ground and being stepped on by other partygoers. I could feel everyone’s eyes in the VIP section locked on me as I angrily stormed my way out, even having the nerve to wittily comment, “Happy?” “Hey, wait!” the guy yelled as he struggled to catch up with me and at the same time keep himself up. I ended up bursting my way through the staff ’s locker room and groaned out in disbelief when I heard him enter and follow me in there. “You’re not supposed to be in here,” I said sternly, not bothering to look at him. He still stood there and didn’t move one bit. “You didn’t have to do that.” “You told me to.” “Sorry,” he finally said after a moment of silence, making it clear to the both of us that we were the only ones there. The muffled sound of the audio system was enough to keep the situation less uncomfortable than it already was. “I wasn’t really in the mood.”


I scoffed loudly. “Does it matter?” I exclaimed, finally turning to him just in time for him to look away. “You got what you wanted.” He furrowed his eyebrows and then turned to look at me again just in time for me to be the one to look away. “What the fuck is your problem?” he questioned, obviously aggravated. “Right now? You, everything,” I answered as the doors to the locker room opened again, causing the two of us to turn our heads towards the same direction. I felt my paycheck flash right before my eyes as I saw Nick walking towards us with the pieces of the camera I had just broken laying in his hands. I was so dead. “And apparently, my boss too.” I watched as Nick arrived beside me, instantly screaming his head off for what I had done considering the camera was “extremely expensive.” It took him about five minutes until he at last acknowledged the fact that we weren’t actually the only people there. And for the first time since I couldn’t see his face, I finally turned my head to look at the guy from the club, only to be taken aback when I did so. I tried my best to hide my facial expression as I realized two important things. For the most part, I figured that I was going to get fired from the only work I’ve ever actually enjoyed doing and that I was going to end up jobless by the end of the night. However, it was also because of the fact that everything seemed to have clicked together and it dawned on me as to who the guy was. He was a friend of Louis’—his band mate, to be more specific and daunting. So that was why he didn’t want pictures of him to be taken; that was why he chose to stay somewhere private and dark, where no one could see him and pay too much attention; that was why he had all those girls beside him; that was why he was so sure of himself; that was why he carried himself with much confidence; and that was why he felt powerful. Oh god, what the fuck have I gotten myself into now? Mr. Popstar stood in between me and Nate with an amused expression on his face and for a moment, I didn’t even care anymore about getting fired. I just wanted to get away from him and spare myself of the complications that was going to come with getting myself involved with him in any way at all. But by the end of the two boys’ conversation, he had managed to convince Nick that it was his entire fault and that he was going to pay for all the damage. When Nick had finally walked away, I immediately shot him a glare, trying to keep myself reserved despite all the anxiousness that was creeping before me. “I could’ve handled that, you know.” “I’m sure you could have,” he replied, his voice etching with sarcasm. “I don’t need to be owing some popstar I don’t even know just because I gave in to him being a total jackass.” He chuckled, nodding approvingly. “So you know who I am, then.” I rolled my eyes. How could Louis even handle being friends with this guy, let alone work with him for years? “Last time I checked, you were a nobody in my world, so just bugger off.”


“Hey, I just saved your ass. I’d appreciate a thank you.” “Fine, thanks. Satisfied?” I spat, pushing myself past him. The door was right there just a few feet away and I was heading towards it without him trailing behind my footsteps. I could feel the escape be so near. I had my back turned, but even I knew how much he was grinning. “Now was that so bad?” he teased, suddenly grabbing one of my arms and holding me back. He stopped me in my tracks just as I was about to push open the door. God damn it. He held out his hand. “I’m Zayn Malik,” he greeted, flashing a smile where some parts of his tongue showed through the sides. It was weird. I had never seen anyone smile like that before, yet manage to look attractive nonetheless. With us standing there, staring at each other and saying nothing at all—him having his hand stretched out for me to shake and me staring at it like he had some contagious disease—I actually somewhat understood why girls went crazy over him (or their band, in general). He was absolutely good looking, I’ll give him that. The way his black quiff perfectly complimented the shape of his face, his chiselled jaw line, his flawless tan skin and natural toned cheeks, his perfect nose, the way his full lips parted, and to top it all off, he also had a pair of striking hazel eyes, which even looked more of the shade of gold, depending on the lighting. He definitely had it all…in terms of physical appearance. Nonetheless, that was the only level I felt attracted to him. Because for me, when it came to his personality, his negative and bad attitude completely washed out that whole angelic and perfect look of his. He was an awful person, I could feel it and he knows it. The only problem is that instead of doing something about it, he just embraces it. And because of who he is, no one has ever really pointed it out and told him off. And I was only about to do so when I realized I had been staring at him for quite a long time. The fact that he introduced himself obviously meant I was supposed to introduce myself as well, but instead I remained standing there, looking at his hand with a strange look on my face for who knows how long already. He smirked, then shrugged. “Come on, it’s just your name.” Okay, I wanted to get away, but this was just plain ridiculous. What, did he think we were friends now because he had gotten me out of getting fired? I rolled my eyes. “You don’t need to know that.” “How come?” We were getting through this certain stage of territory now and before I could even comprehend what was going on, I was already stretching out my hand to shake his. I heaved a sigh of frustration. “It’s Chas—wait.”


Immediately stopping mid-sentence, I realized and came to terms with the fact that he couldn’t know who I really was. I probably looked stupid arguing with myself like that, but if he was involved with Louis by being in the same band as him, I guess it meant that I had to lie to him too. It meant that I had to lie to every single person Louis was associated with. He scratched the back of his head and chuckled. “What, suddenly forgot your identity?” In one brief moment, my sister’s words immediately began echoing in my mind as I tried to think of what to say. This was going to bite me in the ass later on and I was going to hate myself for even coming up with the idea. I guess it wasn’t that much of a hard decision to make, though. The moment I realized that he was a friend of Louis’, I just knew that I had to continue what I had already started. Besides, like he said, it was just a name, wasn’t it? I was never going to see him again anyway nor was I ever going to associate myself with Louis, so it didn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, and it wasn’t ever going to matter now. “I’m Chase—Chase Mitchell.”

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Two Alcohol is the best medicine

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Chastity

“You should stay away from people like him,” Nate warned as we continued walking home from work. It was around two in the morning then, and I had told Nate right before we left the nightclub about my little encounter with Zayn Malik during my shift. There wasn’t really much to tell, if I say so myself—only that he had managed to get my (fake) name after annoying the hell out of me then asked if I wanted to join him and his parade of girls—an invitation to which I had politely declined because I, unlike him, actually had proper work to do. That was when Nate began going on and on about how celebrities like Zayn were no good and were so stuck up that they might as well just live off of their own greatness. I didn’t know what it was with him and celebrities, but from what he was ranting, I gathered he hated them quite a lot. It wasn’t like him to be as judgmental as that, after all (though I did somewhat agree with some of the things he said), and although we haven’t been friends for a long period of time, I knew it was easier to listen to what he was saying rather than to argue with him. I liked Nate. I met him through work when I applied for it months before and he had been the first person to actually befriend me since Charity and I moved to the UK. I don’t know if it was just the loneliness of not having had a friend—since having already stayed for two months in London still didn’t guarantee me any—but I immediately took his friendship the moment he offered it, even if I barely knew him then. Turns out it was a good decision because here we were seven months later and Nate Miller has been nothing but a good friend to me. “Wanna bet they shower in their own money?” Nate joked as he hooked his arm around my neck, crossing the street with me while heading home. “Tell me next time if any of them bother you again and I’ll kick their ass.” I laughed at his unnecessary protectiveness. “I’m friends with one,” I mentioned, which immediately earned a scowl from him. I knew he was going to start another rant over what I had said, so this obviously brought a certain degree of defensiveness from me. “He’s nice.” “They’re all the same, Chast,” he went on again, proving me right. “Every single one of them.” I impulsively scoffed as I my mind pondered on Louis and how far he was from what Nate was saying, even though lately, I didn’t really know anymore how he was as a person. I guess it didn’t matter that much, though, seeing as it had only been four years. He couldn’t have changed that much, right?


“Well, you haven’t known him for as long as I have,” I defended. Knowing Nate, I would’ve expected him to immediately jump on the opportunity of being able to prove me wrong; he was just naturally like that. However, it surprised me how easily he gave up and changed the subject instead. Walking home and being that close to Nate right then and there, I suddenly felt an urge to tell him all about what’s been happening in my life. I did mention to him about how I had told Zayn another name instead of mine, but I didn’t really get to elaborate much on it because he was already going on a sermon-spree by then. I know I kept telling myself that it didn’t matter, but still, I couldn’t stop wondering what Nate would say if I told him about my little lie. He always did have the most frank (which could be mistaken as rude but still acceptable) opinions. I was only about to talk to him about it when my flat came into view and he was already talking before I could have even started my sentence. “Did you guys buy a car?” he asked as we neared. I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed. “We can’t even afford paying for our own place, let alone a car.” “Then what’s that?” he asked, pointing a finger to which I instantly followed with my eyes. To say I was surprised when I saw a familiar car parked right by the driveway outside the flat would be an understatement, seeing as I didn’t even realize I had stopped walking and was already gaping until Nate was snapping his fingers right in front of my face. That was when I realized that I knew the car was familiar because I had only bid its owner goodbye hours ago. Putting two and two together, it dawned on me that if the car was once again there, then it would’ve meant that he was around. And although that was my worst nightmare, something still told me to go there and at least see him. “I need to go! See you whenever,” were the only things I could’ve told Nate before finally arriving outside our doorstep after sprinting from the end of the street to my place. I endlessly banged on the door, not even bothering to get my own key from my bag just because of how anxious I was. And really, would I have even been able to fumble with the keys properly in time, seeing as my hands were shaking frantically? Finally, Charity opened the door after god knows how long, and as soon as she saw the alarmed look on my face, she rolled her eyes and stepped aside. My eyes widened in shock as I saw a drunken Louis lying down on our sofa. “Oh my God!” I shrieked, immediately kneeling down beside him. “What happened?” “I don’t know!” Charity yelled, putting her hands on her hips like a reprimanding mother. “He just showed up here like that!”


Louis had his back turned to me, but probably because of all the shouting he was hearing, he rolled on his back and turned to look at me with hazy eyes. I held his cheeks in both my hands as I struggled to keep him sane. “Louis, are you alright? Do you need me to call anyone for you? Maybe Eleanor, your mom, or your dad?” I asked, still panicking. I had already expected him not to properly respond to me, knowing how drunk he was. However, it immensely took me off guard when he replied, “Call Chastity, please.” The lump in my stomach travelled all the way up to my throat as I realized what was happening. “I-Is that why you’re drunk?” I stammered, my grip on him becoming loose. “Because of Chastity?” All the air seemed to have gotten knocked out of me as Charity stood beside where I was kneeling. “Chastity, you have to tell him the truth,” she insisted, immediately earning a look of absolute disagreement from me. “Look at him, for fuck’s sake!” I couldn’t have my sister yelling and controlling me at such a bad time, let alone having to argue with her because I disagreed, so I chose to ignore her and turned my attention to the confused boy in front of me instead. “Chastity’s gone, Louis,” I managed to blurt out. “Chastity,” Charity emphasized, obviously becoming more and more impatient with me. Louis, however, was evidently oblivious to what was happening around him as he engulfed me in an incredibly tight hug. “Are you Chastity?” he reckoned, squeezing me tighter. “Hey, I missed you, love!” I swallowed hard as I struggled to push him away. “No, I’m not—” “For the love of God, Chastity, just be yourself for one minute and take care of him!” Charity rebuked, throwing her hands in the air and finally showing how exasperated and wound up she was. “He needs you. Just be there for him. He’s not going to remember anything anyway, so I’m asking you now to please stop being selfish and look after him!” It surprised me how angry Charity was at that moment, especially considering that she rarely blew up on me. But still, I somewhat understood where she was coming from. Louis was right in front of me, wasted and drunk as hell just because of what I had told him earlier that day. He was sulked in that current hellhole because he thought that I had passed away. And as much as I would’ve loved to be happy that he was actually dreading the fact that I was gone, I knew it would’ve been incredibly selfish of me to do that. So for once, instead of being the thick-skinned, bratty, hard-headed little sister that I was, I actually listened to her. I heaved out a sigh of relief as I stopped trying to get away and actually began hugging back Louis. “C’mere, you little bastard,” I greeted as we took a nice good grip on each other. “Chastity!” Louis enthusiastically cried out as he hugged me tighter, even managing to have sat up straight on the sofa. “God, I missed you so much.”


“I missed you too, Louis,” I croaked out, smiling widely as we continued to hug each other like there was no tomorrow—something I had always imagined and wanted to do ever since Charity and I came back. My heart was beating so fast and I had no idea what I was doing anymore, but the only thing that mattered to me at the moment was the fact that I had finally gotten the proper reunion I’ve been wanting, even if one of us was shitfaced drunk. After that little stunt, Charity and I had actually managed to get Louis properly settled in on the sofa, where we reckoned he was going to be staying in for the night. He was just so wasted that even after countless attempts of trying to get him at least two feet away from the living room and into my bedroom, we still couldn’t get him there. The only thing we could’ve done to help him was to remove his shoes, wet his forehead with a washcloth, forcefully make him drink some water, and just basically keep on patting his back whenever he vomited…which was, unfortunately, every few minutes. Half an hour later, Charity seemed to have gotten enough of being Louis’ aiding nurse when she announced that she was finally going to head to bed and get some sleep. “I’ll be in my room if you need anything,” she told me, though the look on her face gave off the feeling that she didn’t want us to bother her and I merely agreed. Then facing Louis, who was then peacefully lying down on the sofa, she greeted him with a quiet, “Good night.” “G’night, love,” he responded nonchalantly, still flashing that God-given smile of his as Charity shot out of view and quietly entered her room. Then almost as if immediately, Louis began pouting and held on to my hand. “Chast, you’re not going to leave me, are you? You already left me once. You can’t leave me again.” I winced at his choice of words. “I didn’t mean to leave you, Louis,” I explained. “I needed to take care of Grandma and Grandpa, remember?” He looked at me with the look in his eyes resembling as that of an eight-year-old. “Oh, how are they, anyway?” he brought forth. “I miss talking to them on the phone so much, you know?” With that, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. Even after numerous years and even though he was awfully drunk, he still hadn’t forgotten about those times when we were little and my grandparents would always call after school just to check in and spark up a conversation with us. My grandparents had treated Louis like he was their own grandson, and for that, he had become even closer to us…to me. The smile on my face instantly faded, though. “They’ve been gone for a long time,” I found myself saying. “They’re at a good place right now.” “Just like you are?” I nodded once. “Just like I am.” A long moment of silence passed wherein I had thought Louis was already asleep. Truth be told, I was a bit upset that we only had such a short amount of time to catch up wherein I could actually be myself, but then at the same time, I was still grateful that I had the opportunity for him to be there without Eleanor by his side.


I stood up from the uncomfortable position I’d been in for the past hour and had only begun stretching when I heard Louis’ voice speak up once again. “Am I dead?” he asked innocently. I couldn’t contain myself from laughing. “You’re not dead,” I reassured him. “Then why am I with you?” he questioned. “You’re dead, aren’t you?” I went back to my old position and kneeled beside him, moving closer to his ear. “Wanna know a little secret?” I whispered. He bobbed his head up and down as if he was a little kid. “I’m not actually dead. I’m always here for you, Louis. You just have to look harder; I’m right here.” With his eyes still closed, Louis’ grin became bigger. “Good, because I can’t lose you again,” he said. “You never lost me,” I contradicted, slowly backing away from him. I smiled. “You know, I’m very proud of you. You’ve come so far. I always knew you had it in you.” His grin slowly faded, until it was no longer there. “But why didn’t you keep in touch with me after you left?” He scowled. “I needed you to be there all the time.” I felt my throat tighten as memories from back when we were still young came flooding and couldn’t stop creeping into my mind. I swallowed hard, chewing down on my lip. “I figured you would’ve been mad at me.” “Because you were in love with me?” he asked casually as if it were nothing. “Nah.” “I still am, you know.” “What?” I knew it was wrong. I knew all of that was wrong, yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself. It was the only chance I had and whether or not he’d end up remembering any of it the next day didn’t even bother me anymore. I couldn’t even decide if I wanted him to remember. All I knew was I needed to get that out of my system. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I heard myself confessing, “I’m still in love with you.” My eyes immediately fluttered open as he answered, “But I’m with Eleanor.” Louis’ face was blank, and I found myself relaxing because of that. Sure, it was painful to hear and having to go through that rejection all over again was unbelievable, but I guess a blank expression was better than an angered one, wasn’t it? I struggled to shrug off what he had said as I tried to catch my breath. “I know that, silly,” I replied. “You’ve always had your eyes on really lovely girls. She’s very fit too, I must say.” “She is, isn’t she?” Louis stated proudly, a smug look creeping its way onto his recently expressionless face.


I didn’t know what to say after that, to be quite honest, but I was proud of myself for not breaking down or making a scene right then and there. I kept reminding myself that he was drunk and that none of that was going to matter once he regains his proper consciousness, but at the same time, that conversation was just plain torture. It was difficult being there in his presence and talking to him wasn’t helping in any way. I remained silent and waited for his breathing to become calmer and slower, signifying that he was sleeping. Unfortunately, no matter how long I stared and waited for him, he couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Maybe he just enjoyed the silence I was starting to become accustomed to as well, but I was so tired at that point that, really, I was just wishing he’d finally drift off. He finally broke the silence, though, when he asked, “Are you mad?” “I can’t ever be mad at you,” I answered. “You’re my best friend. It’s just not installed in my system.” Then again…silence. Knowing he was far from being asleep despite the probably numerous drinks he had taken, I decided to speak up and be the one to break the stillness that time. “I’m happy for the two of you. She’s good for you. You deserve one another,” I told him, knowing he would get what I was referring to. He smiled lightly, finally looking as sleepy as I was. “Thank you,” he said. “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone someday. You’re beautiful, Chastity—always have been and always will be.” I smiled to myself, immediately recalling those times when he used to always tell me the exact same thing when we were younger. There were times before where I’d just go walking down the hallway in our school and I’d hear people laugh because of how I looked, but I didn’t care because the only things that were important to me back then were my studies, Louis, Charity, and making my grandparents proud. I guess that was the point, actually. I never seemed to have cared what everyone else thought of me until it was Louis who had made me feel like the worst thing in the world. It wasn’t his fault, though, I understand that now. But back then, I just couldn’t wrap it around my little head yet. Being rejected by the person you’re so in love with just felt like the worst feeling ever that the only way I could’ve thought of was to completely change myself. However, it was nice and relaxing to know that throughout all that, some things will still never change. Like how Louis will always be there for me and I’ll always be there for him. “I like cheese,” I heard him mention out of the blue, completely distracting me from my own train of thoughts. I laughed hysterically as I began standing up once again, stretching my limbs to see if they were still working. “Alright, we might as well just sleep now, Louis.”


“But I don’t want to sleep! La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!” he screamed, suddenly opening his eyes and gaining newfound energy. He covered his ears with his fingers and continued to chant like a little kid. I rolled my eyes playfully and struggled to calm him down. “God, Louis, just go to sleep!” He laughed along with me. “You know, if you think about it, there are a lot of people who are shagging each other right now.” I immediately scowled as pictures and montages of dozens of couples having sex everywhere in the world entered my mind. “Oh, shut up!” I exclaimed. “You know, we have this song, right? It goes, ‘It’s gotta be Looooooouuuu!’” he sang, drawling out the vowels and making me laugh insanely. It was official. We were both completely out of our minds at that point. However, I still found myself smiling as Louis made a complete fool out of himself. “Hey, I can put my whole fist in my mouth. Look!” he stated smugly, about to actually put his fist into his mouth when I immediately stopped him. After several attempts, I was finally able to make him settle back down on the sofa. “Just sleep, okay?” I ordered as if I was his mother. “We both need that more than anything right now.” I had only just let go of him when he took hold of my wrist. “Don’t leave me,” he pleaded. “I won’t,” I ended up squeaking, my throat tightening as I realized he had intertwined his hand with mine. We hadn’t done that in years and just the feeling of his skin on mine made my heart flutter too much. While he had no idea what he was doing, all that was taking a toll on me, yet I couldn’t even bring myself to stop him. With his eyes closed, he flashed me the most genuine smile I had ever seen him show anyone else. “I love you…” he said faintly. I was only about to respond to him when he went on, “… Eleanor.” And there it was—the inevitable throbbing pain in my chest as I heard him utter her name, thinking that she was me. “I love you too, Louis,” I responded anyway, feeling a heart wrenching feeling in my gut. He finally let go of my hand. “Always have, always will.”


Three Sobering up

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Louis

Finding out your best friend is dead may possibly be one of the worst things ever, if not already the worst. Actually, the passing of any important person in someone's life can be utterly devastating, but this one—this shit that was happening to me—was far beyond that. Chastity Rogers has been one of the most amazing things that has ever come into my life. I met her when I was around eight years old and have known her for seven years more; and although I would've wanted for her to become a part of it for even a longer period of time, certain circumstances hindered us from doing so. She was my best friend and no one knew me as much as she did. Chast could read me from the inside and out, and if anyone were to ask, a huge percent of my favourite memories would probably include her. I'm not going to lie and say that being friends with her was as easy as any other of my friendships, though, because it was anything but that. I loved hanging out with Chastity, don't get me wrong, but sometimes things got a bit too loaded for us that it became hard to deal with. Like how she was so insecure, for example. I know that's just because of people who always made fun of her for her physical appearance, but she should know better than to let them affect her. Chastity was remarkable and I always reminded her of it, especially when she didn't believe it herself. Honestly, I don't and can't even remember what Chastity looks like, anymore. Sometimes I try to put pieces of her together in my head, but I can never really complete the whole picture. This may be due to our lack of photos together, but mainly just because I never paid any attention to it. For me, it was always about spending time with her, so contrary to her belief, I didn't give a fuck about how she looked. I guess that was exactly the whole point of our friendship, though, you know? While she saw me for who I was and not just that quirky kid who was friends with everyone, I saw her as this beautiful girl instead of what others put her out to be because that's what she is—her genuine and lovely personality radiated throughout her entire being. We balanced each other out and bam, our friendship clicked. She's beautiful—always have been and always will be. My eyes opened in one swift movement. "Chastity!" I exclaimed, suddenly being woken up by my own thoughts. My abrupt movement, however, caused me great pain and I ended up groaning and yelping because of it.


"Hey, hey, hey, buddy, it's okay!" Reassuring hands immediately touched my arm. "You're okay," said someone. My blurry-visioned eyes trailed from my arm to the direction of where the voice had come from. "It's okay; you're safe." I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked around where I was. The room was all white, felt awfully cold, and it gave off a depressed atmosphere. There weren't any windows for any source of light to pass through, but the blinding light from the ceiling still made it hard for me to see and made me squint. For a moment I thought I was dead and I was being put into trial whether I was going to heaven or hell, but seeing our bodyguard with me there quickly wiped that theory off of my head. I wanted to ask where I was or even why I was there, but my throat felt so dry that I couldn't really say anything. A massive migraine was also swiftly making its way to my head and I wanted to vomit (an awful lot), but my stomach felt so empty at the same time that I might as well have puked out my own organs. "You're in the hospital for alcohol poisoning, Louis," Preston informed, reading my thoughts. He handed me a glass of water and my hands shook as I took it. "We found you in that girl's apartment, um, what was her name?" He snapped his fingers as he tried to recall. I couldn't remember anything either, but I was so desperate that even with my raspy throat, I managed to speak up. "Chastity?" I croaked out. "Ahh!" A look of recognition came across Preston's face, giving me a gleam of hope. "Chase Mitchell, that was her name," he announced, taking the hope in me just as quickly as it had appeared. "Oh," I coughed out as I noticed how slow my breathing was. He shook his head at me with his face full of disappointment. "You're such an idiot, kid. What happened this time?" Even with all the physical, mental, and emotional pain I was feeling, I got myself together and sat up on the bed. This obviously came to be a bad idea because it only triggered everything that was wrong in my body and gave me much agonizing pain. "Hey, be careful!" Preston warned, instantly reaching out to help me. "What happened?" I waved him off, feeling annoyed that he was treating me like I was incapable of moving on my own. "Chastity is dead," I tried to tell him flatly to seem apathetic about it, but my voice failed me and gave it away by shaking and cracking due to the tears in my eyes. I wasn’t one to show my vulnerability to others, especially not Preston, no matter how close the boys and I have become to him. It just wasn’t me. I was the happy-go-lucky lad of the group and I lived to keep up with the reputation. But this time, I just couldn’t pretend to be okay, even if my life depended on it. This one was an exception. Preston looked worried. "Who's Chastity?"


"An old friend." I turned away from him, the tears threatening to fall down any minute. This wasn't helping cure my hangover in any way at all. Knowing me, Preston took this as a sign to leave me alone by quietly leaving the room. Something seemed to have sparked in my mind, though, and I ended up stopping him. "Hey, where are the boys?" "They went to an interview without you. It wasn't that important anyway, so they let you rest." He scoffed. "You're lucky you have good friends who deal with your tantrums." I knew he was just trying to make me laugh and feel better by throwing in some banter with me like we usually did with each other, but I was honestly so drained and worn out that I couldn’t even react properly. Of course, the same time I was thinking of a response to Preston was when sudden fragments of blurry memories from the night before came to my head, too. What a considerate mind I had. “Well, uh, I’ll need to alert the doctor now that you’re awake,” Preston said gawkily, not used to me being that way. He scratched the back of his head. “I’ll be outside if you need anything, okay? I’m just right here if you’re looking for me. I’m just here.” Fuck. Why did that sound so familiar? My head hurt as soon as Preston closed the door and left me alone in the room. I quickly placed my hands on either sides of my temple and started gripping on it, squeezing it together as if that would have stopped it from aching. I was groaning out in pain as endless of random pictures in my mind came rushing all in a split second. The only thing I could remember was how I had spent all night at some pub. But then I drove to Charity’s place right after to bug her about Chastity, which, yes, was clearly a bad idea. Shit, Chastity was dead, wasn’t she? And then there were a lot of yelling. And vomiting—eugh. Then a lot of muffled voices until finally…I was hugging Chastity. I was talking to Chastity. I was holding Chastity. “I’m not actually dead. I’m always here for you, Louis,” a voice suddenly echoed in my head. “You just have to look harder; I’m right here.” My eyes immediately widened in surprise as I realized what that meant. “Hey, she’s alive!” I ended up screaming off of the top of my lungs, motioning my hands everywhere even if I wasn’t making any sense. My head was throbbing and my guts were threatening to leave my body any second, but I couldn’t stop moving. I couldn’t stop being happy. “She’s alive; Chastity’s not dead!” Having heard me from the outside, Preston with a strange-looking man whom I assumed was my doctor instantaneously came rushing into my room with some equipment in hand. “What’s wrong? What happened? Does anything hurt?” the man brought forth, putting his stethoscope on my chest and struggling to keep me calm as I rocked back and forth in bed. “Preston, Chastity’s alive!”


The doctor turned to Preston. “Who’s Chastity?” he asked. Preston merely shrugged. “An old friend?” Adrenaline was rushing through my body and we all could hear clearly how much the cardiac monitor was going crazy. “Calm down, Mr. Tomlinson!” the doctor struggled, suddenly injecting something in the tube attached to my skin. “No, doc, I won’t!” I was starting to feel dizzy. “Someone told me yesterday that my best friend passed away two years ago, but last night, doc, you know what? I spoke to her. It was a real conversation and she told me she wasn’t dead!” He looked at me warily. “Louis, please understand that you are under a lot of—” “Nope, don’t go all medical shit on me, doc.” “Louis,” Preston said in a warning tone. I turned to him and scowled as I finally stopped moving uncontrollably in bed. The consequences of my actions immediately rushed right through me as soon as the adrenaline stopped. “What?” I asked innocently, gripping tightly on my head. “Mr. Tomlinson, I’d hate to be impolite and I wouldn’t want to rain on your parade—” “Then don’t.” “—But that was probably the alcohol’s doings,” he went on anyway. “The way you were aided last night wasn’t the most proper treatment for alcohol poisoning, so it could be possible that you might have experienced some hallucinations due to the excessive intake of alcohol.” I rolled my eyes. “Can you believe this guy?” I joked, hoping that Preston would laugh along with me because of how absurd the doctor sounded. They both didn’t even flinch. “Louis, listen to Dr. Pickler,” he summoned. Oh, screw that. What if I didn't want to listen to Dr. Fucking Pickler? His opinions didn't matter anyway, because I know what happened last night. I might've been shitfaced, but I know what was said and the conversation Chastity and I had (at least some parts of it). I wasn't incapable of knowing between what was real and what wasn't. And I could guarantee last night was as real as it could get. My angering silence was misunderstood when Dr. Pick-what's-his-face began talking again. "I don't know who Chastity is or even what her importance was to you, but I do send my deepest condolences, Mr. Tomlinson." I was seething with anger now. Who did he think he was? "Get out," I ordered. Preston started, "Louis—”


"You too," I said a bit too abruptly as his face was immediately plastered with a hurt expression. I felt bad for having to do that, but talking about her was none of their business. It was like they were purposely testing my patience. And honestly, it had already run out. "I want everyone to leave me alone, so get out of this room right now." Pickler was the first to move from where he was and head towards the door, while Preston stayed exactly where he was standing. However, when it finally occurred to him that I wasn't going to change my mind about kicking the both of them out, he got a move on and joined the doctor in leaving the room. And then it was just me, my blood boiling, and my entire body feeling like it was in hell. Ha, like it wasn't already. I was pissed off because I didn't want to believe them, but deep down, I knew there was a possibility that they might be right. And I was extremely mad at myself for even thinking of it, but as much as I would hate to admit it, yes, Chastity might actually already be gone. Now I don't know if that was the medication or the alcohol taking over me, but I really wanted and needed to get out of there. So without even thinking, I decided to just yank off all the tubes that were connected to my body, freeing myself from the bed. I could feel my hand—where the needle was previously placed—bleed, while the cardiac monitor right away showed a flat line as soon as it came off contact my body. My legs were wobbling around the room as I struggled to find my clothes, but I didn't stop, until finally, I found all of my things together with my car keys in a plastic in one of the drawers. I was acting out of impulse, so I quickly got dressed and found a way to sneak out of there. Honestly, for a hospital that had such high standards, they actually had the shittiest kind of security. Not to mention how we personally had a shitty bodyguard. It didn't even come off as a surprise to me when I found myself ending up right outside the Rogers' driveway and walking up to the doorsteps. My hands were shaking and my whole body was weak as fuck, so it took all the courage in me to actually ring the doorbell. I might have stood there for a good five minutes, though, because no one was answering. Not to mention how I kept hearing a lot of clicking behind me, which I didn't even need to check to know that it was the paparazzi getting the latest scoop out of me. "No interviews," a small voice from inside the flat called out after I rang the doorbell for the nth time. I rang it again. "Nobody's home.” What? "No pictures or autographs!" she continued to shout as I endlessly rang the doorbell. Then finally, the door opened. "We're just friends, okay?" the tiny figure in front of me spat. She right away covered her mouth as soon as she saw me standing in front of her. "Oh my god, Louis, what are you doing here?" It was evident how much I was having a hard time trying to hoist myself up, so I was glad when she took my lack of response as the initiative to guide me inside the living room and let me sit down on the sofa.


"Sorry, the paparazzi's been lurking outside all morning," she brought up, feeling the need to explain once I was settled down. She looked worried and she couldn't stop staring at me. “You're so pale. Aren’t you supposed to be at the hospital?” “I snuck out while the boys were doing an interview,” I answered faintly as it got harder for me to breathe. There was actually more to that story, but I couldn't be bothered anymore. God, my migraine was getting worse by the second and the disappointment she gave me by showing up to answer the door instead of Chastity only made it awfully worse. It felt a lot like someone was invisibly hitting my head with a hammer. I leaned my head back on the sofa and closed my eyes. “Is Charity here?” She cleared her throat, obviously feeling uncomfortable with my presence. “She’s at work," she answered, which only made me heave a sigh. "Um, do you want me to get you some water? You don't look too good." I shook my head lightly. Even with my eyes closed, I could still feel how she was staring at me intently. Well, this decision seemed to have taken a different route. To whom was I even supposed to tell about my encounter with Chastity last night? I mean, it wasn't like I didn't trust the girl right in front of me, because that wasn't the case at all. Truth be told, I had this weird feeling that I trusted her too much and it was freaking me out, especially for someone who's only known her for a day. The fact that I had this incredulously light feeling of ease around her was what was exactly scaring me. But there was something different about her—I couldn't pinpoint what, but it was there. Feeling defeated by my confused thoughts, I heaved out a sigh and opened my eyes. “You're Chase, right?" I acknowledged. I didn't even wait for her response before right away going on, "I dreamt of Chastity.” It came out as a mumble, but I was pretty sure she heard me right because her eyes widened a bit. I sat up straight and looked at her directly in the eyes. “Actually, I spoke to her. I know I did. It felt so real. I know it was real, you know?” Then we both remained quiet and just stared at each other. I couldn't really read her face, but I was glad that unlike others, for once she was looking at me like I was actually sane. A long time passed until finally, she broke her gaze and looked anywhere else but me. "What did you two talk about?" “I don’t know,” I was quick to reply. I blinked furiously as I tried to recall the fragments that kept rushing through my head earlier at the hospital. “I just remember her saying she’s not dead. She said something about always being there for me. That I just had to look harder.” I looked away from her then, and buried my face in my hands. “It’s all a blur, though.” I suddenly felt a huge pang of regret when we ended up suffering another awkward moment of silence. I didn't want to look at her, anymore. There was something about her that made me feel at ease yet anxious at the same time, if that was even logically possible. And I didn't know why, but somehow, it just hurt to look at her.


“Louis," she spoke out of nowhere. "I think that was just because you were drunk.” Now that made me furious. I guess I was wrong—ha, she was just like them. I tutted. “Yeah, that’s what everyone else said. Something about me hallucinating because of the amount of alcohol I consumed,” I snapped, rubbing my temples to ease the pain in my head. I looked back at her, my eyes piercing through. "But I know it was her." I almost sounded like I was pleading, like I was begging for her to believe me. She blinked multiple times. “Chastity’s gone, Louis.” “But what if she’s still alive, Chase?” I instantly contradicted, full of hope. It didn’t even take her a minute before swiftly standing up without looking at me, then heading towards the door. Her hands lingered on them and her fingers trailed along the doorknob as if she was contemplating whether or not to turn it. But then eventually, she did. “Maybe you should go home first and get some rest, Louis,” she suggested. That only made me look down at my hands, completely disappointed with her reaction. What was I even thinking, telling someone that our dead best friend was somehow alive after being already gone for two years and expecting her to believe me without any doubt? Oh, that’s right. I wasn’t thinking. Feeling Chase’s eyes on me, I stood up from the sofa as sturdy as I could have and began walking out of there. “Yeah, maybe I should,” I agreed. Without any goodbyes, I headed for my car and decided to just leave everything aside. Chastity was gone—I had to get that through my head starting from now on. I was only about to get inside my car when Chase suddenly called out to me. “You drove here?” she exclaimed, making me turn around with the keys in my hands. “Are you insane?” Despite her extra emphasis on what she was saying, I, on the other hand, couldn’t be bothered to care in any way at all. I could’ve died driving to their place or even suffered an attack due to the alcohol poisoning, but my depressed state was too grave for me to even give a fuck. “Hey,” I called back, sighing out of frustration. “Would you come with me, then?” I knew it was a risky thing to ask, especially considering having her around only made me feel eerie, but I bet it was either that or she would’ve called anyone just to get me back to the hospital. I guess I was sort of grateful too, though, when she agreed immediately without even having to think it through. I mean, I couldn’t be left alone at home feeling sorry for myself and mourning on my own, could I? However, it wasn’t that long until I found myself actually enjoying Chase’s company. Endless amounts of tea, sweets, junk food, popcorn, jokes, laughs, stories, and classic movies later, she and I were sprawled out in my living room with very disgusting piles of trash everywhere. We both kept our sweatpants and sweaters on and didn’t bother dressing up properly anymore, seeing as we were only staying in, anyway.


It actually amused me how we both had managed not to talk about Chastity for as long as we were together. Hanging out with Chase like that changed a lot between us, most especially how I saw her—like, per se, I was right about being able to put my trust in her without having to worry about being let down. Plus, there wasn’t even any tension anymore and it was just as if we were two very close friends who have been hanging out like that for as long as we could imagine. She was very easy to be with and I guess in a lot of ways, she reminded me of Chastity. Maybe that was why it hurt to be around her at first. Maybe that was why I didn’t want to have her around. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Chase suddenly acknowledged, raising an eyebrow at me. I laughed to myself as I shook my head slowly. I didn’t even notice that I was already staring at her. “I don’t think you actually have any idea just how similar you and Chastity are,” I said. “Really?” I nodded as I moved closer towards her side of the couch of my living room. “I mean, the way you put hot sauce in popcorn and dip it in pickle juice, the way you put your hair up in a bun when you can’t be bothered with it then later on get annoyed with how messy it is, your choice of movies, how you talk, how you laugh, how you move around, how you recite lines from movies you’ve already memorized…” I explained, pointing out every single one I’ve been noticing since we started. “Just everything.” She blinked. “Is that a bad thing?” I smiled instantly. “No, not at all.” I grabbed a handful of her hot sauce covered popcorn and popped them all in my mouth. “I guess it feels like my best friend’s still around even if she’s actually not. I’ve missed her presence a lot, so it’s nice having you around.” I couldn’t figure out if she would’ve taken that in a positive or negative manner, particularly since it looked like I was using her as a replacement, but I was only glad when she didn’t seem to be too bothered about it. “I guess being with her and Charity for a long time just really changed me without me even noticing it,” she even explained, filling her mouth with popcorn as well. “It’s funny,” I began. “Hanging out with you feels so therapeutic, you know? I do miss her, but at least you being around guarantees that I wouldn’t just lock myself in my bedroom all night and pine over her.” I chuckled. “I feel a lot better too. And hey, at least you won’t give me hangovers or poisoning, right?”


A small smile crept from the corner of her mouth. See, that was my only problem—most of the time, I found it extremely difficult to read her. “I’ll always be here for you, Louis,” she spoke, all of a sudden giving me an enormous pang in my chest. That line seriously needed to be taken out of people’s expressions. Or at least, it shouldn’t be said to me anymore. It just brought too much pain. “If you think hanging out with me is therapeutic, then we can go and hang out any time you want.” At least what she said genuinely made me happy. “And you’ll listen to me, right?” She nodded once. “Of course.” “And even if I cry in front of you or scream because of how angry I am or tell you secrets and stories and trust you completely, it would be okay?” “It would be perfectly okay.” She smiled back. Jesus, even her smile reminded me of Chastity. As soon as things around us got quiet, she promptly turned her attention back to the movie we were watching. But still, I couldn’t stop looking at her and I knew she felt just how much my eyes were digging right through her. And then out of nowhere, I sat right beside her, closing the gap between us. She looked up at me just in time to see me wiggling my eyebrows at her. “I bet you wouldn’t have the same ticklish spot, though,” I reckoned. “What do you—” She wasn’t even able to finish her sentence because before she even knew it, I had already put each of my hands behind her right shoulder and on the small of her back—the only places in Chastity’s entire body where she was ticklish…weirdly enough. Chase kept on telling me to stop, but her boisterous laughter seemed to amuse me so much that I didn’t stop until she had punched me in the face. Everything became still and awkward between the two of us when we realized the position we were in at that moment. I was right above her with my hands on either sides of her body and my feet closely put together. I was only hovering over her, though, so our bodies weren’t really touching in the slightest bit. Which really helped to ease the tension, if I must say so myself. I didn’t dare try to move because I knew how close we were. It was as if one movement and I would’ve totally tipped myself off and I would’ve ended up pressed against her body or something. And I obviously couldn’t have the two of us end up like that for very many reasons— one being that I had a girlfriend and that would've just looked wrong. I finally cleared my throat after a long moment of silence. “You punched me!” I told her, not really taking it seriously. “‘Cause you kept on tickling me!” she giggled. I laughed along with her. “You guys even have the same ticklish spots, and those are quite rare places to be ticklish, to be honest.” I tried to catch my breath, just as she did. “It’s like you’re twins or something. That’s quite scary.”


She merely rolled her eyes at me and scoffed as things once again got a bit uncomfortable. And to top it all off, my phone suddenly started to vibrate and ring inside my pocket, which I immediately stopped by answering it. “Hello?” “Mate, where the fuck are you? You haven’t been answering your phone all day.” It was Liam. “Preston’s flipping and everyone’s out looking for you!” My eyes shifted from the phone in my hand to Chase. “Um…Eleanor’s?” I lied. Liam huffed. “God damn, Louis, you’re out of your mind,” he scolded. “We’ll come and get you in a while, okay? We just need to quickly stop over somewhere.” I nodded, as if he would’ve seen me. “Okay,” I confidently agreed, knowing that I was leading them to the wrong place. I hung up the phone just in time to see Chase narrowing her eyes at me and looking at me strangely. She cleared her throat. “Well, uh, can you please get—” The loud sound of the door opening was what right away cut her off. That was when we saw four tall figures coming in and stopping dead on their tracks when they saw and realized what was going on. Not that there was anything wrong happening; it was just our position that was a bit inappropriate, I guess. Well fuck, what the hell were they even doing here? I felt Chase stiffen even more below me as Harry walked towards me and her—the two of us still frozen in our position. “What are you doing?” he questioned as his eyebrows instantly rose. As if it wasn’t distressing and awkward enough, Zayn suddenly stepped in as well and stood right beside Harry with his eyes directly focused on the girl I was hovered over. “Chase?” he began, earning a confused look from me and the boys, who were also probably wondering how in the hell he knew her. Then he began shifting his gaze back and forth between Chase and I. Everyone immediately stayed silent as soon as he opened his mouth one last time. “Louis, that is not Eleanor.”

!


Four Chasing Chase

!

Chastity

My name’s Zayn…but u can call me tonight ;) How was heaven when you left it? :) Do u still have those photos of me? Show Santa what u want for Christmas xx I think u dropped something…my jaw ;) I’m invisible…can u see me? How bout now…can u see me? Well…how bout tomorrow night? :) xx I’m not a photographer but I can picture us together :D They say people often want what or who they can’t have. And although that has basically been my life story for god knows how long already, Zayn must’ve been taking this saying to a whole new level. Thirteen days. That’s how long I’ve been putting up with messages like these. That’s how long I’ve been struggling to keep him off my back. That’s how long I’ve been trying to tell him I wasn’t interested. That’s how long he’s been driving me insane, and in an extremely bad way. That’s how fucking long I’ve been trying to be patient with Zayn. But quite frankly, when a person is really just as annoying and determined as he is, you can never really help losing your patience. Because thirteen days is a very long time and, truth be told, I’ve had enough of it. Ever since that incident with Louis—which all of us decided never to mention again—Zayn had all of a sudden shown interest in me by managing to have gotten every single address and number I was associated with. “The Malik Style,” as he liked to call it, consists of sending me texts, emails, tweets, letters, flowers, cupcakes, cookies, stuffed toys, and everything cliché you can think of to wherever I went—at work, at school, at home, even when I’m hanging out at the mall. It wouldn’t even be that bad (maybe) if only he stopped attaching all those cringe-worthy pick-up lines with every single thing. I’ve literally had hundreds given to me in that span of thirteen days and it was getting more and more desperate and irritating by the minute. The worst thing about all that would’ve had been when I appeared on the news for being his “new target.” It wasn’t even the fact that they couldn’t get my name right that drove me insane, because let’s face it, I put myself up for that one the moment I started lying about my identity. It was more of having my face plastered everywhere and having teenage girls randomly go up to me in the streets and ask for a picture or an autograph, to which I both declined to. “So are you, like, famous now?” the girl seated to my right spoke out of nowhere, leaning towards me and disregarding the fact that we were in one of our major subjects.


I looked around cautiously as I made sure that no one else was listening, especially not our professor. “Um…no?” I gawkily replied, not knowing what she was talking about. Last time I checked, she has never shown any interest in talking to me just like everyone else in that class…or in any of my classes, for that matter. “But you’re that girl, aren’t you?” “What girl?” “The girl that Zayn guy is dating.” So that was what she meant. There it goes again. “No,” I said flatly as my voice began to rise. “I am not dating him and I will never—” “Is there a problem here?” our professor interjected, stopping me midsentence. Wow, not even a minute in with our conversation and this girl has already gotten me in trouble. This is exactly why I choose to not have friends in school. Well, fine, okay, scratch that. I didn’t exactly choose it, it just came to be. And at first I didn’t like the feeling of being alone all the time, but to be quite honest, having this girl suddenly talk to me and everyone in that class pay attention while our professor waited for my response just made me realize how much I actually really want to stay out of everyone’s eyes, just as I have been doing for a long time. So I guess, in a way, I do like not having a lot of friends. It just gives me the reassurance of treasuring the only friends that I do have now…which I’m pretty sure I can count in just one hand. “We were just—” “Chatting while I was doing my lecture?” Mr. Williams, my Photography teacher, interrupted once again. He crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his gaze between me and the girl. “Perhaps you and Ms. Castle over here would like to share what you were discussing that’s obviously much more important than what I’m teaching in front.” “Sir, I was just confronting her about her dating life with—” “Oh my god, shut up!” I cut her off before she could’ve continued on and embarrassed the two of us…or me, mostly. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as the girl’s floppy dark brown curls bounced on her shoulders when she snapped her head towards my direction, clearly offended by my sudden outburst. Her eyes widened, showing off their striking blue-grey color. “Excuse me?” she spat. “Ms. Rogers—wait, uh, Ms. Mitchell…actually, no, Ms. Rogers…” Mr. Williams trailed off, scratching the back of his head. “Which one is it again?” Which one did I even want people to know me as? God damn, I was such a nobody that not even my own professor, of whom I’ve been a student of for months now, knew who I was. I rolled my eyes. “Just call me Chastity,” I spat, irritated that we were even dwelling on this. Didn’t he have a lecture to finish?


“I thought your name was Chase,” the girl beside me spoke once again. “Isn’t Chastity, like, your dead best friend or something?” I groaned. “For fuck’s sake! Are you stalking me?” “Chase, I do not appreciate bad language in my class,” Mr. Williams rebuked. Okay, great, now everyone was going to address me with that stupid name. “Apologize to Adrienne this instant.” “Fine,” I sneered. I turned to the girl on my right, whom I now knew was Adrienne Castle. “I’m sorry, Adrienne.” Her facial expression softened and relaxed as soon as she heard me apologize. She was only about to say something when Mr. Williams cut her off again. He really liked doing that, didn’t he? “And just because you’re now dating some famous celebrity, does not mean that you will be getting any special treatment in my class or in any of your classes. Are we clear, Chase?” Oh, for fuck’s sake. “We’re not—” “Are we clear?” “Okay,” I scorned just in time for the school bell to ring. Saved by the bell, as the saying goes. Everyone in the class immediately got up from their seats, quickly making their way out of that room and heading towards their next class, but of course, not before passing by me and eyeing me with all sorts of different expressions on their faces. Disregarding the fact that Mr. Williams and Adrienne still weren’t probably done with me, I stood up to gather my own things and walked out of the room as hastily as I could. “God damn, Mr. Williams,” I muttered under my breath as I quickened my pace. “Fucking Adrienne getting me in trouble.” “You know, just because you mumble it, doesn’t mean people around you can’t hear it,” a familiar annoying voice spoke. I turned to my left, only to see Adrienne walking side by side with me while holding her own belongings. I scowled. “Can you just leave me alone?” “You know,” she began, stopping in her tracks. And as much as I hated it, I actually seriously wanted to know what she was going to say, which was why I stopped in my own tracks as well. “I’m not as irritating as you think I am.” Welp, that’s bullshit. “Look, I don’t know what you want from me, but if it’s Zayn, then go ahead. He’s all yours.” She snickered. “I don’t want your boyfriend.” “He’s not my—”


“I see you in magazines and celebrity news and things like that now, you know?” Oh, well look who got the interrupting habit from Mr. Williams. She smiled from the corner of her mouth then shook her head lightly. “But I swear to god, there is something strange about you.” Well, that one made me curious. I walked towards her and stopped only when we were of a short distance away. I furrowed my eyebrows. “What do you mean?” She smirked, her eyes piercing right through mine. And just then, standing there in silence with her looking at me like that, I knew. I knew that she knew about the lie I have been oh-so carefully keeping as a secret. “Turn around,” she suddenly ordered, changing the subject. I grew even more confused than I already was. “Huh?” She merely smiled and remained silent as another voice from behind me spoke up, “Turn around.” Oh, god. Of course I knew that fucking thick British accent from anywhere. I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. “Will you get out of here?” I had already spat before even turning to face him. Zayn was right there, standing with one hand behind him and another in his pocket. He was trying to hide the huge bouquet of flowers he was holding behind his back, which I found quite preposterous seeing as it was half his height. He cleared his throat awkwardly as he began walking towards me. “It’s amusing how no one cares who I am around here,” he acknowledged. As soon as he said that, I couldn’t help but look around the corridor where I realized that there wasn’t anyone else around except from myself, Adrienne, and Zayn. I must’ve missed it when the bell that signifies the start of the next class rang. Isn’t that just great, though? I was going to be late for my next subject, wherein I just so happen to have an important test. What a lucky day for me (sarcasm intended). I scoffed, addressing Zayn. “It’s a university,” I answered obnoxiously as I began walking further away from him. “Everyone’s mature enough not to get caught up with you and your stupid—” “Oh my God! Is that Zayn Malik?” someone from behind me screamed, which was then followed by numerous squeals. I looked around again, only to see dozens and dozens of students piling up along the corridors and even inside the classrooms (where there were supposed to be on-going classes), while holding their camera phones towards us. Zayn smirked at me then, and raised an eyebrow, taunting me to continue what I was about to say. I rolled my eyes. “You should leave before they attack you,” I at least warned him. Not like I wouldn’t have done it myself if he didn’t stop leaving me alone yet.


He began walking towards me again, then finally brought out the flowers from behind him. I froze in my spot as I realized that everyone had gathered around us in a circle and were now murmuring and whispering among themselves. “Take these first,” he offered. “I don’t do flowers,” I answered, immediately earning countless gasps from the crowd. What was this? Only time I choose to raise my voice in class and I get in trouble, but once these students cut class to pay attention to some loser reject one of Britain’s most wanted bachelors and it was perfectly okay? That isn’t fair, now is it? I noticed how Zayn swallowed hard and was starting to redden, evidently embarrassed by how I was treating him. Not to mention how he still had his hands in the air with those flowers, awkwardly just directed towards me because I wasn’t taking them. “Chase, will you please just—” “No.” Wow, Mr. Williams’ bad habit was rubbing off on me. “Keep your flowers and your pick-up lines and your stupid gifts to yourself, Zayn. Fuck off,” I derided, turning around as swiftly as possible and making my way through the sea of people who still wouldn’t move away from the circle they had made around us. Adrienne was still there when I finally got out of the crowd, who by then was bothering Zayn for pictures and autographs. She trailed behind me as I hurried out of there. “You can’t just leave him there; he’s going to get trampled!” “That’s not my problem,” I replied monotonously, quickening my pace as to get her to go away. She was trying so hard to match my speed, though. “You shouldn’t be so hard on him,” she said. “Who are you to tell me what not to do? He’s been annoying me for two weeks, Adrienne. I think I have the right to be as harsh I’d want to be.” “What is it with you and him?” she questioned, trying to get something out of me. “It’s just one date, right? Can’t you give him that?” “No.” She was by my side now, but I kept my eyes straight. “Why not?” I stopped just a few feet away from my next class, facing Adrienne with an exasperated look on my face. “You,” I pointed at her, “don’t know anything. You wouldn’t understand.” She scoffed. “Then why don’t you make me?” Christ, she really wasn’t going to stop, was she? What, did she just suddenly have an inconvenient interest in my life? Or was she just too much of a fan of the stupid band Zayn was in that she couldn’t let this go? I groaned, growing angrier by the minute. “I’m not good for him, okay? I’m trying my best to stay away from all that trouble and believe me when I say that me getting involved with any of them is far beyond that.” “But aren’t you friends with that Louis guy?”


Okay, as much as I would’ve wanted to scream at her for being unpleasantly creepy for knowing these things, I couldn’t really blame her. I mean, the paparazzi have been after me ever since that god awful day when Eleanor and Louis visited my house, after all, and Zayn adding to that media frenzy just didn’t help at all. Well, not to mention how much Louis and I have been hanging out, too, as bad as that sounds. Like, I know I told myself (and now Adrienne) how much I didn’t want to complicate things by getting involved with any of them, but it just sort of happened, you know? One minute I was making up this idiotic lie to get Louis off of my back, and then the next, I was offering him my time to help him sort out himself. I was aggravatingly confusing myself and to be quite honest, at the end of the day, all this mess points to no one else but me. This was all my fault. “Leave me alone,” I told her one last time before walking away and in to my next class. You’d think the bad day would’ve stopped there, but of course, it didn’t. Karma was most likely punishing me for being the twat that I was because as soon as I entered the room, everyone’s judging eyes immediately turned to look at me. They weren’t even taking the god damn test I had spent all night studying for, no. They were just waiting for me to arrive because there were about half a dozen of bouquets of roses scattered around my desk, together with flower petals, cupcakes, and a small box. My English professor smirked at me as she lifted the card in her hand. “Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes,” she read off of it, making the whole class—excluding me—break out into a laugh fest. “If I were you, I’d just go out with him now to stop this whole embarrassment.” With everyone’s eyes still on me, I proceeded to my desk in the middle of the room (I never thought having picked this seat would’ve come out as a bad thing) then stuffed the cupcakes and box into my bag, feeling myself blush as I struggled. Ms. Davis quickly gave me the card before returning to her table to fumble about with some papers with a smile on her face. I turned to her, ignoring her previous comment. “Aren’t we going to have that test?” She looked up at me, then her smile widened. “We’ll have it next meeting instead, just in case another pick-up line decides to come rushing through that door.” And then the class went on a laughing spree once again. Fuck, it was going to be a long day. *** I had only just buried my face in my hands when a pair of hands suddenly landed on my shoulders and started massaging them. “Tough day?” Nate spoke. I lifted my head up from my hands, only to see him standing right in front of me with a camera laced around his neck and an amused look plastered on his face. “Tough past few weeks,” I answered as I sat up straight.


The look on his face instantly turned to form a scowl. “Is that prick still bothering you?” he asked, sitting beside me. “I told you to stay away from him.” I chuckled. “I have been,” I explained as I spun around in my chair and faced the bar instead. Nate followed and did the same thing, then ordered drinks for the two of us, not being bothered that we were supposed to be working. I shrugged as I took a sip from my iced tea. “The guy’s pretty determined, though, if I must say so myself.” Nate took a large swig of his drink, almost draining the glass. “Just tell him to fuck off already.” I scoffed almost immediately. “You have no idea how many times I’ve tried.” “And he still won’t leave you alone, huh?” I nodded. “Funny thing is, I really don’t get why he’s trying so hard, you know?” I brought forth, lacing my fingers together and leaning my chin on them. “Like, is he that bored that he’d take the piss out of me or what?” “You want me to kick his ass for you?” Nate offered. Now that made me laugh a bit too much. “I’d love that,” I joked, though I’m pretty sure he was serious about it. “I don’t know,” he suddenly hooked his arm around my neck, “I like seeing you on the telly and magazines, though.” I had to prevent myself from scrunching up my nose because of how he reeked of alcohol. “Really?” “Yup,” he said, taking another swig of his drink. “Chase Mitchell—has a nice ring to it.” This instantly earned a snort from me as he and I mocked the name I had made up. It was such a relief how Nate didn’t give me too much shit the moment I told him a week ago about the lie I had told Louis and Zayn. I’ve already been getting excessive amounts of sermon from Charity herself, after all, so I really didn’t need that anymore, especially not from him. Like I have been thinking all along, Nate was a good friend and I was glad that he’s been helping me deal with it. Of course, nobody could avoid his condescending opinions, but I appreciated the fact that I could trust him well enough. He still hasn’t gotten used to people acknowledging me as Chase, though, but I guess I, myself, haven’t really gotten used to it either. While we were chatting away at the bar and making fun of every article that has been written about me so far, some guy suddenly decided to approach me with a huge bouquet of flowers in his hands. “Chase Mitchell?” he called, right away earning a snicker from Nate. “Delivery from Mr. Zayn Malik.” I tried to flash my best smile at the boy as I accepted the flowers. I didn’t want to be rude to him, no matter how exhausted and annoyed I was of the whole routine. The poor guy probably didn’t even know what was happening. “He’s here?” I asked, looking around.


He nodded immediately and pointed towards the VIP section—Zayn’s regular spot at the pub. I didn’t even feel the need to excuse myself from him and Nate nor did I feel the need to think about what I was going to say when I swiftly stomped my way over there. I was just being driven over the edge by my annoyance and I was doing things out of impulse. That was what I was best at, after all, wasn’t it? Zayn was surrounded by a group of people when I arrived in their booth, but I disregarded them all and kept my eyes on him. He didn’t even look the least bit surprised to see me. As a matter of fact, he looked as if he was already expecting me when I saw him grin, showing how pleased he was with himself. Before he could’ve said or done anything, I immediately threw the flowers at him, making several petals of it fall off. I made my way over to him as he right away stood up with a cautious look on his face. “‘What is the one direction I’d want to go in? In your heart’,” I yelled, quoting one of his pick-up lines. His expression instantly softened as he began laughing. I knew then that he knew where I was getting at. “That was supposed to be ‘in my pants’, you know. I was considerate enough to change it to ‘heart’,” he explained, holding up his hands defensively. I ignored him completely as I went on again, “‘Let Malik you up and down’?” He desperately attempted to stifle his laughter, though he failed miserably. “That was made by our fans!” “‘Without you, life is like a broken pencil…pointless’?” “Hey, I thought that one was deep!” “‘You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me’?” He shrugged as he laughed hysterically. “Come on, have some sense of humour, babe!” I almost puked at his choice of name-calling. “‘No wonder the sky is grey today. Your eyes took all of the blue’?” I spat as I rolled my eyes. I could just feel the rage in me increasing by the minute. I even shook my head disapprovingly as the look on his face became confused. The bastard didn’t even know. “Seriously?” He remained silent for a while, as if he was contemplating something. That was when he suddenly replied, “What’s wrong with that one?” I was ready to yell at him again when someone spoke before me. “Her eyes are brown, not blue,” the familiar voice uttered, speaking exactly what was on my mind. Zayn and I right away turned to look at who had spoken, only to find out that it was Louis. I hadn’t even noticed that he was there. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even acknowledge the fact that the whole band was there together with two other girls—one being Eleanor and the other being someone else’s company. It was clear how they had all witnessed my sudden outburst, which was quite embarrassing, but at that moment, everyone was just staring at Louis.


“Well, I’m sorry I didn’t know that, mate,” Zayn spat bitterly, turning to me again. I tried my best to ignore the prying eyes of everyone around me as I gave my attention back to Zayn. “Never show up at my school again,” I taunted. “I thought you said it was romantic!” he acknowledged, immediately turning to Eleanor. It dawned on me then that she was probably the one who gave him the idea to go to where I was. What she said then only confirmed what I had been thinking. “It is!” she defended, pointing to Louis. “He did it to me once back in Manchester and it got people talking for, like, a month.” Then once again, everyone had all their undivided attention on Louis. However, he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. It was as if his mind was too preoccupied of something else to even care about the fact that we were all there. He just wasn’t the same. He looked too distant. “We were already dating then,” he explained, his eyes landing on something far away. He kept his voice monotonous, too. “It’s romantic if you know the person, otherwise it’s just weird.” Zayn tutted, as if he was affected that Louis had just indirectly called him out for being a creep. Well, at least that’s how it appeared to me. He tried to ignore it as he faced me again. “Hey, it’s just one date,” he offered, reminding me of my conversation earlier that day with Adrienne. “Then I’ll leave you alone, I promise.” “I prefer the leaving alone part,” I retorted. At least he’d know that I did have some sense of humour in me. “Go ask out that one girl from that band. Blonde, fit, and good voice? I reckon she’s more of your type.” It was obvious how Zayn was taken aback by the amount of knowledge I knew about him, because he awkwardly cleared his throat and started to avoid my eyes. “She’s just a friend,” he excused, putting an extra emphasis on ‘just’. “You mean like how curly over there was ‘just friends’ with that Xtra Factor girl?” I remarked, pointing at the curly-haired boy who I knew then was Harry—Louis’ flat mate and best friend out of the four. I thought I was on a roll in embarrassing Zayn right in front of everyone, but that swiftly took a turn on me when another person all of a sudden spoke up. He had a thick Irish accent, just like that blonde guy when we were at Louis’ place and I knew him to be Niall. And, well, Niall was laughing a lot. “You seem to know a lot for a girl who’s not interested,” he announced, smirking at me. “Been researching?” Well, shit, my face was heating up now. “I had to know what I was dealing with,” my voice began to falter. Harry’s recently expressionless face immediately turned to an amused one, until he found himself grinning. “You’re quite the researcher.” He nodded his head slowly. “Impressive.” With my face blushing and everyone else in that booth witnessing it, I couldn’t help but want to get out of there in an instant. What did I even think, attacking Zayn out of nowhere like that? None of it was going to end well, I could already tell.


I tried to avoid everyone else’s judging eyes, so I chose to look at Zayn instead, hoping to feel some sort of superiority once again. I ended up scowling, however, when I realized he was looking at me intently with a mischievous smile on his face. The jackass couldn’t even bother trying to hide that smug look of his. I researched about him and his dating life…so what? “Chase, seriously. One date won’t hurt,” he began again once everything became awkward. “I mean, you’ve been hanging out with Louis for the past few weeks, haven’t you?” My throat began to tighten with the mention of Louis’ name. Ever since the whole alcohol incident, I’ve offered to help him cope by spending some time with him, which he delightedly took. I mean, I didn’t know he was going to ‘therapeutically’ need to hang out with me every single day when I offered my aid, but knowing that it was going to be my fault if he got excessively drunk once more, I couldn’t do anything but agree. We usually hung out at his place —sometimes at the park, the mall, or at my place—and basically just talk about Chastity and a whole lot of other things. It’s been incredibly difficult in my part, but I knew I had to do it for him. I just had to help him move on, so that he could eventually bugger off and leave me alone. “That’s different. That’s me helping him,” I told Zayn defensively, exchanging glances between him and Louis, who was still a bit distant from us all. Zayn rolled his eyes. “With what? Chastity?” he questioned, the tone of his voice rising. “So what, I have to have a dead friend, too, just so I can hang out with you?” My eyes immediately widened at what he had said and I could feel my ears ring as the words he had uttered echoed in my head. Wow, that was just low, even for him. I considered walking out right then and there, although I should’ve already done it moments ago, but I seemed to have become frozen in my spot that I could’ve sworn I wasn’t even breathing anymore. I was sure I looked as pale as a ghost too. I didn’t even dare look at Louis and how he was reacting to what Zayn said. I was too shocked myself, so I could only imagine what Louis looked like. Zayn immediately cleared his throat. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it like that. I just—” “I’ll go on a date with you,” I at least managed to blurt out from my dry throat, but only because I had to leave so badly and I wanted for everything to be over. “But you’re going to leave me alone after that.” Zayn looked incredulously surprised. His recently guilty expression instantly began softening, until he managed to have flashed me a small smile. “Won’t be a problem,” he assured. That was when I immediately turned my back against all of them and left, managing to have gotten a quick glance at Louis who was still as solid as a post in his seat. However, no matter how distant he looked, I knew he had heard everything that went on because I swear, I’ve never seen his jaw and his fists clench any tighter.

!


Five First Date

!

Chastity

“Why are you dressed like that?” Oh, wow. You’d think actually agreeing to go out on a date (or being forced to, at least) with the Zayn Malik, of whom everyone seems to go crazy over, would be the most amazing and heart-warming experience of my life, but seeing him eye me up and down like that with a certain bemused look on his face clearly indicated that that wasn’t happening any time soon. Because as soon as I opened the door after one ring of the doorbell, Zayn had already managed to make me regret assenting to that day. My face twisted. “Sorry, my wedding dress didn’t arrive in time,” I answered sarcastically, suddenly so mindful of everything about myself. I mean, I was simply wearing a plain white shirt under a casual blazer, paired with some dark skinny jeans and a pair of sandals. How bad could that have been? “That’s kind of a shitty thing to say on a first date, don’t you think?” “I didn’t mean it like that,” he replied instantly, scratching the back of his head. I noticed how he did that a lot when he was nervous, and it seemed to always be whenever he was around me. “I mean, I really wanted to take you to somewhere fancy and you just…” “Aren’t dressed for it?” I continued for him, earning a nod as a sign of response. I crossed my arms over my chest as I tightly held on to the white bag slung over my shoulder. Just for that, I wasn’t even going to let him in my flat. Well, not like I ever planned on doing so, anyway. “Sorry, I didn’t get a memo.” Zayn must’ve noticed the same thing I have because his face right away pulled a worried expression. “You know what? You’re right; that was a very shitty introduction. I’m sorry,” he retreated. His apology and the look of sincerity on his face made me smile. "And if you haven't noticed already by the numerous rejections, Zayn, I'm not exactly the type of person who likes fancy things." "You're very hard to please, aren't you?" he questioned as the corner of his mouth turned up, obviously not fazed with the piece of information. "But you look beautiful, Chase." It didn’t even take long for what he said to sink in because I instantly felt my face start to heat up and, to be quite honest, I hated myself for it. We haven’t even passed five minutes of our date yet, but here I was, feeling flushed over the littlest thing that he had said. Why was I letting Zayn make me blush anyway?


“Well,” I cleared my throat, stepping a bit closer towards him and out of the flat as to get us going, "How about that date, then?" Something over my shoulder seemed to have caught his attention, though, while I was locking the door because he didn’t want to move. "Why are all the flowers and gifts I gave you just stacked in one corner of your living room?" Oh, he was trying to get a view of my place. "I was planning on selling them in eBay for the next two years' college fee," I joked. Zayn grinned, putting his arm around my shoulders out of nowhere and leading me to his car. "See, this is why I asked you out!" he laughed. "Because I want to make money out of the gifts you gave me?" "Because you're different." I scoffed, extremely appalled. "The fact that you tell me I'm different from other girls just shows how no different I am from them," I informed. I thought it was a good kind of topic to end up bickering with him, but he didn’t budge and argue. Instead, he merely rolled his eyes as we arrived at his car and got in. It was such a shame, though, because I had noticed earlier how we seemed to be less awkward whenever we fought and how it brought a lot more fun moments between us. In my own opinion, at least. Maybe he didn’t see it that way. Maybe he just wanted to stay civil for the rest of the day. Zayn started the engine, then we were off. I didn't really know where we were headed, especially since that fancy restaurant he had planned for us was obviously out of the question, but I didn't bother asking him anymore. I've already chosen to tell him my preferences, so all I had to do was leave him to it and trust him well enough to know what to do with it. Since it was still around ten in the morning, Zayn decided it would be best if we made our first stop at a Breakfast Diner. I thought it was a pretty good choice for our first venue— apparently, we were going to spend the whole day together—and Zayn proved himself to be one heck of a good companion so far, so I was just glad things were going well for the both of us. "Are your pancakes buttered?" Well, I guess I spoke too soon. "Excuse me?" Zayn looked confused. "I was just wondering if your pancakes are buttered," he repeated himself, completely serious. "Oh my god." "What?"


Now that just made me laugh a bit too hard. "That sounds like a lame attempt to an innuendo!" I announced, making everyone look at us as if they all haven't been doing it already for the past several minutes. Zayn's lips first curved into a smile, which eventually led to a grin and then a full-on boisterous laughter. "You are one heck of a girl. You know that, right?" I stopped laughing abruptly then shrugged, suddenly feeling aware of the prying eyes of everyone in that diner. "So I've been told," I hushed, looking down at the food on my plate. I have never been the kind of girl who liked attention; that was a given. Maybe it had something to do with my childhood and being given the bad kind of it, but nonetheless, I just didn’t like the feeling of being stared at and talked about. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been put under the spotlight, not just because I was friends with Louis—the type of guy who was liked and was friends with everyone—but also because everyone liked to make fun of me. So once I began getting away from it, I never dared try to get it back. I guess this is one of the many reasons why I didn’t really want to get involved with Zayn in the first place, you know? The attention made me feel anxious and freaked out because I always couldn’t help but think of what people might say about me. And although the people in that diner weren’t really talking, it seemed to me like the thoughts in their heads were too loud that I could almost hear them. I knew that Zayn knew what my sudden change in nature meant because he quickly reached out across the table to touch my hand, which I didn't yank away. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea not to pull away because that only earned more attention, but somehow, his skin felt good in mine. Not that I’d ever admit that, though. Let’s just pretend I didn’t even think about it. “Don’t mind them,” he whispered as he leaned in closer. “We can watch a movie after this, okay? At least we’ll be alone then.” If that was out of sincerity or not, I wouldn’t know. For all my knowledge about guys could tell me, he might just be saying that to get a good make-out session out of me or something, but right then and there, it didn’t even matter anymore. I mean, not that I would’ve complied to kissing him…because there really wasn’t going to be any of that. I mean, kissing the best friend of the guy you’re actually in love with would be a really asshole move. Meanwhile, all I wanted was just to get that breakfast over and done with and switch to a place with less people. It didn’t take long before that request of mine was granted. Zayn tried his best to distract me from everyone’s inquisitive judgments while we were in the public eye, but even the numerous attempts of getting to know me didn’t have that much of an effect. However, it did become somewhat calming when we finally got to the movie theatre and spent two hours being away from everyone else. It’s quite interesting to note how Zayn didn’t even try one bit to kiss me. He did hold my hand, though, but I was beginning to be okay with it. In that short span of time, my skin was already becoming accustomed to being in touch with his, no matter how odd that is.


However, we didn't hold each other’s hand anymore when we went bowling. I didn't dare look at it even when I was winning and he was asking me to teach him how to hit the pins properly. Let's face it, I was scared that even the slightest contact with his hand was going to make me want to hold on to it for the rest of the date. Or maybe even after that. But then again, I almost did end up grabbing on to it while we were at the mall. It was mainly because the gigantic crowd that had formed from Zayn's presence was scaring me, but I'd say it was also because seeing Adrienne Castle at the same place made me want to run off with Zayn so as to not let her know that I was actually going on a date with him. It was quite ironic, you see, how we were being surrounded right then with dozens of fans and were being photographed everywhere we went, yet I wanted no one to know that I was with him. So in a way, yes, I guess I was one heck of a girl—the bitchy, moody, confusing, clingy kind. Whatever that meant. "Come on, let's leave before more of them come," Zayn ordered as he was the one who grabbed on to my hand and led me out of the crowd of fans. Okay, well, I guess the struggle to fight the will to be the one to hold on to it is gone now. "Where are we going?" I asked, gripping him tighter. He smiled—something I now understood was a gesture he rarely did when he was in public. "You like taking pictures, don't you?" "Yeah?" "There's a showing of a photo gallery somewhere around the block," he informed, looking right at me and desperately trying to bring me away from the attention. "Want to go?" I think they heard me sigh in relief all the way from Mars. "I thought you'd never ask." Fortunately, the gallery wasn't as full as it was in the mall. Actually, there were barely any people there, but if there was, they were mainly just adults who were there to appreciate the art. It was calm and quiet, and I felt right at home, even if Zayn was there to bother me and crack jokes every now and then. It was obvious how much he was dreading being in there, probably not even understanding the point of the photos, but it was nice to know how he let us stay just because he knew I enjoyed it. “Will you kill me if I kissed you right now?” Welp, there was the inevitable question. I laughed quietly as I pushed Zayn off of me, who was then starting to lean in, despite the fact that I haven't answered yet. "Go away," I told him. "Come on," he insisted, pointing to the photo right in front of us. "We're at the Eiffel Tower; I wouldn't want to ditch my date by going away, would I?"


He had a suggestive smirk put on his face, so I let him be and moved on to the next photo. I stood in front of it and he followed. "Well, we're at the Empire State Building now, but you don't see me throwing you off of it, do you?" I bantered. "Oooh," he drawled, "The Empire State Building could also work. I mean, it's no Paris, but it's romantic too, isn't it?" I laughed again and nudged Zayn with my elbow. “I’ll strangle you until you lose that beautiful voice of yours and until your pretty face explodes,” I teased. He laughed along with me, then hooked his arm around my neck, leaning in but only to whisper this time. “You think my voice is beautiful?” He raised his eyebrows. “And you think I’m pretty?” I scoffed, shoving him away. "I may be a bitch, but I'm not blind nor am I deaf, Zayn." "I don't think you're a bitch," he stated. I had to fight the urge to stop myself from scoffing again. Instead, I narrowed my eyes at him. He continued, "You scare me because you have your guards up and you hide behind that wall of yours, but you're not a bitch." Nice to know he somewhat feared me. "Wow, deep on Twitter and deep in person. You don't disappoint anyone, do you?" "And you still search about me, that's good." How many times has it been since he first made me blush? "Shut up," I said impulsively, "Just enjoy the photos." He groaned, finally letting out how much he dreaded his time there. I'm honestly surprised he's gone that far without ditching me yet. "Chase, we've been in here for almost two hours." "It's fun," I contradicted. "You get to appreciate things through someone else's lens and point of view." "You know if I wanted to stare at art for hours, then I might as well have glued my eyes to your face. At least that's free and much more beautiful than any of these." His sudden answer made my knees weaken so much that I almost crumbled to the floor. Not to mention how he was intently looking at me then, and not a single trace of insincerity was present on his face. That was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me and I couldn't believe it came from Zayn. Who knew he actually had it in him despite all the gross and puke-worthy pick-up lines? I certainly didn't. "Fine," I managed to mumble. I didn't want to let him see how much that little comment made such an impact on me. "What did you have in mind?" The strong expression on his face relaxed. "Movie?" he suggested. "We already did that," I stated the obvious. "It's either you want me to shut up for another two whole hours or you're just finding a way to make out with me."


"It's the latter," he replied as casually as possible, not even pausing to leave me time to respond. "But how about we go to the mall again?" "Getting mobbed while window shopping isn't my favourite past time." "Actual shopping, then?" His voice started to sound desperate as he offered every possible thing we could do. "Nope." "Bowling?" "Want me to whoop your ass again?" "Never mind." I heaved a sigh. "We've been everywhere and done everything together the whole day, Zayn. Isn't it time yet?" He scowled. "You make it sound like I'm torturing you by being with me." "Well, this is a forced date, isn't it?" I felt the need to remind him. He rolled his eyes. "Contrary to what you think, I don't want this date to end yet. Okay?" he made clear. "We can always try hanging out at my place, you know." Although the idea had already run through my head at least once, actually hearing him say it himself sounded so preposterous that I couldn't help but snicker. "If that's your way of trying to get in my pants, then it's not going to work. I don't shag on the first date." "The second then?" Oh, the fucking nerve. "Too bad for you that we won't have one then, huh?" I retorted. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to try anything with you.” He smiled smugly. I didn’t even know if I was going to take that as a compliment or an insult. It was frustrating how I never seemed to get under Zayn’s skin (no pun intended) even when I was already trying my best. It was like whatever I did only amused him, whereas he could only be breathing around me and I’d find a way to be annoyed because of it. “But seriously, my place would be better. We won’t have paparazzi or other people getting in our faces and we could just chill out and stuff,” he explained while the smirk on his lips still hadn’t subsided. I thought the idea over and realized he had a point. “Fine, let’s go,” I complied with Zayn, who was already pulling me out of there before I could have even finished. Zayn was right when he said he wasn’t going to try anything with me…at least bed wise, that is. The moment we arrived at his place—which was huge and was strangely kept neat, by the way—he had made the two of us a quick dinner, then proceeded to think of ways to get me to stay. We began playing a lot of video games at first, but the moment he realized that I was only beating him in every game, he had given up and instead continued to try and get to kiss me.


I was seated on one of his couches when he stood in front of me. “Not even just one kiss?” he haggled, trapping me and suddenly leaning in just like he did earlier. I laughed hysterically as I pushed him away. “Back off, Malik.” He laughed with me, then fixed himself on the small couch we were currently sharing. He purposely did the whole pretend-to-yawn-then-put-an-arm-behind-my-shoulders cliché routine before beginning to lean in once again. He was only inches away from me when I realized that that was my cue to stand up, immediately making him fall over. I laughed even harder than I already did, clutching my stomach and pointing at him to humiliate him even more. He was a pretty determined guy, wasn’t he? And surprisingly enough, after spending one whole day with him, his presence didn’t really bother me anymore, even if he was acting as immature as he was right then and there. Without warning, Zayn right away stood up and began chasing me with a very evil glare in his eyes. I had managed to run all the way into his room and back into the living room before he finally caught me. He snaked his arms from behind me and all around my waist, then all of a sudden began spinning me around as if I was as light as a feather and was all that easy to carry. And although I found it quite inappropriate, I still found myself laughing uncontrollably anyway. I continuously began hitting his arms and was only about to yell at him to put me down when someone all of a sudden entered the room. All the laughter abruptly stopped and Zayn immediately brought me down as we saw Louis standing by the door, staring at us with a confused expression on his face. His eyes right away landed on Zayn’s arms that were still loosely draped around my waist. “What the hell are you doing here, Louis?” Zayn protested, finally breaking the awkward silence that had built up inside the room. He finally let go of me, too. Louis decided to invite himself into Zayn’s flat, quickly sitting down on the sofa and propping his feet up on the table. He grabbed the remote that was on it, then apathetically began watching the television. “I didn’t know you were going to be here,” he muttered, not bothering to look up at Zayn as he spoke. “In my own home?” “I meant her,” he replied as he pointed at me. Zayn tutted bitterly. “You asked me yesterday what time she was gonna come over.” “Must’ve slipped off of my mind.” Zayn, who has probably had enough of Louis’ behaviour, suddenly got the remote from him and turned off the television, once again filling the room with nothing but utter silence. He hovered over Louis with his arms crossed over his chest and just stood there as if he was waiting for his friend’s exit. Louis was having none of it, though, as he only remained where he was and began chuckling. “So this is your date?” he commented. “This is what you spent two weeks working on…really?”


“Chase wanted to stay here,” Zayn explained quickly, suddenly getting all protective. Just by the cold look in his eyes, I could already tell how pissed he was at that point. “She said she wasn’t a big fan of fancy and huge dates.” Louis nodded slowly and smiled, as if he was contemplating something. “Just like Chastity,” he mumbled, making me feel tensed. But hey, at least just like every other thing about me, Louis still remembered, right? That was good to know. I mean, he still knew about the fact that I hated it when people went all out when it came to gifts or dates. I didn’t like fancy things, especially ones that were quite cliché, hence, the fact that I had rejected all of Zayn’s attempts in asking me out. I just wasn’t one for them; they weren’t my thing. And it was quite relieving and touching to know that that was only one of the many other things that Louis still noted about me, even now that I was already ‘someone else’. “Are you done here? Because if you haven’t noticed, we’re on a date,” Zayn spat, interrupting my train of thoughts. Louis cleared his throat and I found him awkwardly stumbling upon his own words. “Can’t I, uh, stay here for a while? Harry’s, um, you know, busy with someone in our place,” he babbled. “Harry went out,” was all Zayn had to say before Louis’ cheeks instantly flushed with embarrassment. I, however, found myself smiling smugly at the scene of the two lads arguing over who had the right to stay. Because as Zayn continued to interject everything Louis was saying, I began understanding then where they were both getting at. Obviously, Zayn was already irritated enough that Louis had interrupted our time together, while Louis had obviously interrupted on purpose because of certain reasons—reasons that I had yet to find out, but still found massively amusing. Louis shifted in his seat awkwardly, still refusing to look at Zayn as he spoke. “Did I say Harry? I meant to say Niall—Niall’s busy with someone.” “In your flat?” Zayn interrogated, raising both his eyebrows at the lad who was uneasily seated in front of him. I just stood there awkwardly behind Zayn as I watched Louis open his mouth countless of times as if he was going to say something, only for him to close them again when he had decided not to utter them anymore. Zayn right away smirked as he realized his friend had no idea what to say then. “Harry’s actually out with Niall and Liam right now, and you should be too.” Louis scoffed, leaning his head back onto the couch and rolling his eyes. “I don’t really want to go out, mate.” I noticed a scowl immediately form on Zayn’s face. “Then hang out at your place,” he insisted.


The whole atmosphere inside Zayn’s living room was so tense that it was making me feel more uncomfortable by the minute. So before Louis could’ve said anything, I cleared my throat and began fumbling about. “It’s fine. I actually should be going now anyway,” I lied, looking around to gather my things. “It’s late and I still have to do revisions and stuff.” “Want me to drive you home?” Louis and Zayn immediately said in unison. I shifted my gaze between them both, just awkwardly standing there and wondering what the hell I was going to do with the two of them. Zayn seemed to understand the alarmed look on my face, though, because he immediately turned to Louis and pointed a finger at him as if he was a little kid that needed reprimanding. “No, you stay here,” he ordered. “But I want to go out!” Louis right away argued, pulling a tantrum like an eight-year-old would have. “You just said you didn’t want to—” “I call dibs on the front seat!” Louis immediately got up from where he was seated and began running outside, probably towards Zayn’s car. Zayn shook his head aggravatingly before finally turning to me and apologizing. He quickly led me out of his place, and then we were off. The ride to my place was a very quiet one, except for when Louis occasionally suddenly burst out into songs because then, he’d earn a laugh from me and Zayn. Sometimes, Zayn also joined him in singing, but everything didn’t really last long because it’d all soon die down and would be once again replaced by complete silence. But still, it was quite relieving to know that their little argument moments before weren’t all that serious, especially even after Zayn had forced Louis to sit at the back seat instead of the front. The awkward moment was suddenly broken then, when Louis spoke up. “Take a picture; it’ll last longer,” he said teasingly, shifting his gaze between Zayn and I. “Eyes on the road, mate. I don’t want to die yet.” I realized then what he was talking about because as it turned out, Zayn had been stealing glances at me every so often instead of having all his supposed undivided attention on the road. Of course, this only led me to blushing massively without, fortunately, getting noticed by either of them. Arriving outside my flat was a relief because the deafening silence in the car was beginning to bother me. Zayn offered to walk me to the driveway, but I politely declined to it and casually eyed Louis as to let him know why. He agreed, so I kissed him on the cheek, and left immediately without waiting to see his reaction.


As soon as I got inside, I immediately went to my room and didn’t bother to look for Charity, assuming she was already resting. It was already late anyway and I was so exhausted that I didn’t feel the need to do that. We were sisters and she was my guardian, but that didn’t mean she needed to know about my every move. Just as long as we both followed house rules and stayed out of each other’s ways, then we were good. I was already planning on going to sleep after having showered and all cleaned up for bed when I all of a sudden received a call from Zayn, leading us into a tiring phone conversation. “I hope you enjoyed today,” he said the moment I answered. I smiled. “You’re an ass, but yes, I enjoyed today,” I made known. “Thank you.” “We should do it again some time.” Now that one only made me chuckle. I could almost see Zayn’s confused expression from where I was. “Ha,” I tutted. “One date, then you’re going to leave me alone. Remember?” “I thought you had fun?” “Doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to want to date the guy who almost cost me my job, yeah?” “Chase,” he emphasized, sounding serious at first and then suddenly snickering. “You know I can stand outside your place all day and wait for you to change your mind if I had to.” “No,” my answer remained strong before I finally hung up on him. It was a harsh thing to do, rejecting him like that, but I knew the deal I had made with him and I was sticking by it no matter what. He was Louis’ best friend and I knew better than to involve him in that whole mess I’m going to have to clean up at the end. As soon as our conversation ended, the doorbell suddenly rang almost as if by cue. Of course I already figured it was Zayn, so I just lay down on my bed instead of getting up to actually answer it. He was way out of his mind if he thought I was actually going to get the door and talk to him about some silly date at that time of the night. ‘Leave me alone!’ I had texted him to which he simply answered with a ‘huh?’ The ringing of the doorbell was starting to get on my nerves and even after our texts, Zayn still hadn’t stopped, so after a few more minutes, Charity suddenly began yelling for me all the way from her bedroom. “Chastity, get the door!” she cried out. I lazily got out of my bed and stood by the door of my room. “That’s probably just Zayn again! The prick doesn’t understand what ‘leave me alone’ means!” I called back. “Chastity, just answer it!” she groggily and angrily yelled, her voice ringing throughout the entire house. I was pretty sure the whole neighbourhood heard her too. But that was Charity for you.


I heaved a sigh as I exited my room, slowly walking over to the door. I had only just passed by Charity’s room when she began yelling again. “Chastity, the door!” “Alright, alright!” I rolled my eyes as I neared the door. “Jesus, it’s like she’s the only one who’s exhausted,” I muttered out of annoyance. I was already about to open the door when Charity screamed one last time, “Chastity!” “—is supposed to be dead.” I found myself staring wide eyed without any breath left in me as soon as I saw and heard the person standing right in front of me. It wasn’t Zayn Malik. No, not at all. And I swear to God that that was the first time I had ever felt so disappointed to feel Zayn’s absence. Because I knew Zayn would’ve been a lot better than the person standing in front of me right then and there. Anyone was better. Just anyone, but her. “Eleanor?” I squeaked after a long moment of me just being frozen in my spot and gaping. Her face remained blank as she heaved an incredibly deep sigh. “Hey…Chastity.”

!


Six A stroll in the park

!

Chastity

The atmosphere in the room couldn't have been any more awkward than it was right then. I think Eleanor and I have already spent about ten minutes sitting beside each other on the sofa in utter silence. I had invited her in and offered her tea just to be polite, but waiting for the water to boil and having to endure that uncomfortable silence was definitely something I didn't anticipate. I mean, couldn't we just move on to the screaming and threatening to tell everyone the lie part already? "So I heard you had a good time with Zayn today," Eleanor spoke out of nowhere. Well, I guess not. I finally looked at her, only to see her looking at me eagerly with a smile on her face. "Yeah, I actually did." Where was she getting at with this? "We did," I suddenly felt the need to emphasize. "So, what did you two do?" Her smile widened. "I'd love to know the details, you know. That's what I came here for." Oh, so apparently she wasn't just there to expose me. At least she looked and sounded sincere about that. "Well, it was a pretty simple one," I told her anyway, "Which, I guess, made it all the more bearable." She giggled. "Hey, you went out with Zayn. I'm pretty sure he could've been the biggest ass in the world and it still would've been bearable." Well, why don't you date him, then? "Yeah, but the date was hilarious, if I'm being honest," I said, despite the voice in my head instinctively telling me to be a bitch. "He fetched me in the morning, and then we sort of had an argument; we had some breakfast at a diner, where we almost bickered; then we watched a movie, where we argued over the movie choice; after that, we went bowling, where we argued again; then we went around the mall– hey, we actually didn't– oh, wait, yes, we argued a bit; and then we stayed at the photo gallery, where we argued a lot; and then our last stop was at his flat." "Where, let me guess, you also argued?" "A bit." I shrugged. "Wow," she huffed, combing her fingers through her wavy brown hair and fixing it on one side of her shoulder. Was it strange how I was actually admiring her in my head and her ability to look perfect, even though I was supposed to have some underlying hatred for her? "You two fought a lot for your first date."


Now that was true. "We fight a lot in general. We met because of it, so I don't think we're ever really going to grow out of it." "I saw pictures of you two online, though, and you guys are adorable together," she said. I didn't have a clue whether or not she was being sincere. For all I know, she could've been forcing Zayn unto me just because she wanted me to stay away from Louis. Nonetheless, I didn't mind the comment. "Didn't even look like you two argue at all." What she said simply made me scowl once it sunk in. "Oh god, there are already pictures?" She nodded, scrunching up her nose. "I'd tell you to get used to it, but even I'm not comfortable with it yet," she said. "How do you even cope with all that? I felt like vomiting every time I saw someone looking at us," I recalled as the image of teenage girls talking shit about me made me shudder. "They'd lean in to their friends and whisper among themselves, and I just felt like ditching Zayn." "I don't really cope with it, you know? My first time out with Louis was during Niall's 18th birthday, so there were a lot of cameras and people," she answered casually. For a quick moment, I actually forgot about the situation at hand, but as soon as l heard her utter Louis' name, the anxiousness I had felt came rushing back. "They freak me out, I swear, but I try not to let it bother me." I had to hand it to her; she was very good at changing the topic. "You handle it really well, though." "Thanks, but you know I have to try extremely hard." She bit down at her lip, trying to look humble despite the proud look making its way onto her face. "You should come and hang out with me and Cameron some time. We could talk about it over lunch or something." "Cameron?" "Oh..." The smile on her face faltered when she realized I didn't know who she was talking about. "Uh, she's Liam's girlfriend—the curly brunette at the pub last time?" A look of recognition must've crossed my face because Eleanor smiled again. "You mean when I lashed out on Zayn?" That made the both of us laugh. It was a good feeling—almost as if we were actually friends. "Yeah, I remember. Some first impression I made on her then, huh?" "Don't worry; we think you're cool," she reassured, winking. "We can even help you doll up for your next date with Zayn, if you want." "Oh, there's no need for that," I declined as politely as I could have. I forced a smile. "We're not going to have one." "What? How come?" Because I'm secretly in love with your boyfriend. "It was more of a one time thing with him." "Really?" She pouted, shrugging. "That's a bummer; I really liked the idea of you two together."


It was such a struggle not to scoff. "Millions of girls around the world would beg to disagree." "Oh, don't mind them," she advised. That was something that was going to be hard to do, especially if she was as self-conscious as I was, but I didn't bother bringing it up. "Zayn's not even my type," I made known to her instead. "Really?" Her eyebrows perked up. Then what is your type?" It felt almost as if someone from another continent heard me gulp in fear as soon as the question was brought up. I knew we were eventually going to come to that point, but actually being faced with it scared the heck out of me. Fortunately, for me, before I could've even made up another bullshit of an answer, a dinging sound had come within earshot to signify the water I was boiling for Eleanor's tea was ready. Saved by the bell? That seemed to happen to me an awful lot. "I'll be right back," I told her, right away standing up to head to the kitchen. I didn't think preparing tea for someone could be that frustrating. It wasn't even like that was my first time to make tea for other people, you know? It was evident how much I was all over the place—dropping utensils, spilling milk, almost dropping a glass on the floor, and a lot more reckless things you could think of. I could've sworn I looked like a lunatic in there. "I'd say I told you so, but that wouldn't even cut it yet," Charity suddenly spoke behind me, surprising me and making me spill some tea on my hand to which I yelped out in pain. "It's only a matter of time before she—" "God, she's not going to tell him!" I snapped at her out of exasperation. She scoffed. "She told you that?" "Not yet, but I know it's coming," I said, still fumbling about the room just to keep myself in there. "She knows I have feelings for Louis, Charity, so she wouldn't have the courage to tell him." "You're unbelievable," she responded flatly. I couldn't pick out which was more annoying—the fact that Charity couldn't stop reprimanding me or the fact that I was merely prolonging the agony by being in there even when I didn't need to be anymore. At the end of the night, it was still going to lead to me having to face her and then discussing it with her anyway, right? If that was the case, then why couldn't I just do it right then? Why the fuck was I torturing myself ? Oh, screw it. "Hey," I greeted Eleanor with an eerie smile as I entered the living room with a tray of tea in my hands. I carefully placed it on the table in front of her, then remained standing. "I don't know how you like your tea, so I just made it like how I usually make Louis'. Milk first, yeah?" Hey, if we were going to dwell on this, then I might as well have been the one to start it, right?


“I put the tea in first, but that’s fine.” She immediately looked down at her hands and started playing with them. “Gee, Louis didn’t tell me you guys hang out all the time.” Eleanor's face remained expressionless for a while and we found ourselves in a whole other case of awkwardness. She chose to keep her gaze fixed on the floor at first, but that was only until I cleared my throat. Because then, we couldn't stop staring at each other anymore. The room was filled with so much tension that I couldn't help but just get it over and done with. "It's all down to you if you want to tell him, you know," I mumbled. She nodded once. "But that's your job and not mine, right?” she finally spoke, looking me straight in the eyes. “But if we’re being honest here, his life has been hell ever since he found out about your ‘death’.” Well, that stung a little. "I'm not out to get you, if that's what you're thinking," I sighed. "This isn't like a ploy to get Louis to leave you or anything." At least that made her smile. "I like you, Chastity. I know you’re a nice person,” she began, making me uncomfortable with how she chose to approach me by my actual name. Her face became blank again. “But I hope you understand that you had your chance years ago. My relationship with Louis is very important to me; I love him very much. I just don’t want you to be the reason why it’ll end up getting messed up.” Well, she really had a way of making people guilty, didn’t she? Of course, I immediately felt the need to explain everything by telling her whatever I could come up with, no matter how far it was from the truth. “Hey, what I feel for Louis is nothing,” I waved off, “I’d never let those feelings get in the way.” Fortunately, that seemed to have convinced her enough because I hadn’t seen her smile that big before. And since there was this itching thing at the back of my head that was telling me to bring this question up, I gave in to it and ended up asking her how in the hell she found out about the secret, anyway. I mean, it was a very stupid lie in the first place, but if everyone else didn’t have the capacity to figure it out, especially not Louis, then how in the hell did she? Instincts, that’s what Eleanor called it. She said something about girl instincts. She said the moment I laid my eyes on Louis weeks ago, she already knew there was something odd about me with the way I looked tense around him, the way I talked and moved around him, the way I noticed everything he did or said without me even being aware of it, but most of all, she said it was the way I looked at him—that I lit up right away whenever I saw him. And although she tried to brush it off, she still couldn’t help but speculate about it from time to time. Like she had stated earlier, she only did come to my house to find out what happened during my date with Zayn, but Charity’s constant shouting was what confirmed it for her. I don’t even know how in the hell she noticed all those things about me, but I guess she’s just really that observant.


That was when she went on and on about Zayn. She said he was really good for me, almost as if she was forcing him unto me. She said that he might’ve been fooling around before, but that he genuinely liked me now. “You should give him a chance,” she even suggested. If I had a certain degree of uncertainty previously, now it was just plain obvious how she was only saying all those to get me away from Louis, but I understood where she was coming from. Still, it was a lot to process for just one night. Plus, you can’t blame me for thinking that Eleanor was now starting a plan to ruin my life, even though she promised not to tell Louis. And the thought of it all was what made it hard for me to go back to bed and try to fall asleep. That was why as soon as Eleanor left, I immediately got one of my cameras, went out for a walk, and ended up taking pictures of everything that’s anything in the park just to clear my head. That was when he decided to come along. “Chase?” a cheery voice spoke up from behind me just as I was about to take a picture of a fountain. That was Louis, obviously. It startled me a bit at first, especially since I hadn’t been aware of my surroundings, but I relaxed as soon as I turned around and actually saw him. “What are you doing here?” he asked as he engulfed me in a quick hug. “I like taking pictures.” That only made him crack up. “At two in the morning?” “I like taking pictures,” I repeated and then added, “Especially when I’m stressed out.” I had already expected Louis to pull the face he was making right at that moment, which just showed how confused he was because of my weird old habits. However, what I didn’t expect was when his baffled expression suddenly turned into a cheerful, goofy grin. Because then, he looked so happy that it just left me a bit scared. “What?” His grin became wider, if that was even possible. He swung his arm around my shoulder and pressed me close to him as we began walking towards the fountain. “Chastity wanted to be a photographer and she always said that exact same thing to me, you know.” I found myself smiling at the mention of my name once again. I couldn’t ever get tired of him remembering things about me. I should probably just make a list to see how much he still knows and remembers, to be honest. Just to keep him in check. “I know,” I replied casually. “So do you want to talk about it?” he all of a sudden asked, turning to look at me with eager eyes. I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. “About what?” “Why you’re stressed out.”


Oh, why of course, Louis. I would just love to tell you why I can’t seem to go to sleep and just instead decided to take pictures in the park at two in the morning. See, your girlfriend just visited me a few hours ago. She came to me because she wanted to talk about Zayn and how our date went, since apparently, she’s such a huge fan of us as a couple, but instead she found out that I’m actually the best friend you’ve been mourning about for the past two weeks. Don’t worry, though, because she promised me she won’t tell you. However, I still do have a feeling that she’s out to get me because she knows what I feel for you up until now. And although she might actually really be nice, I still wouldn’t want to get in her way just in case she decides to slit my throat and actually kill me. It’s no big deal, really. Just a regular girl’s day to day life. Seeing as that would’ve been quite a mouthful and an overwhelmingly stupid thing to actually spit out, I decided to just settle with a simple, “No.” However, that only earned a more confused and a somewhat hurt look from Louis, who was probably dreading the fact that I didn’t want to confide in him. So as soon as I felt his arm slowly slip away from my shoulder, I didn’t have any choice but to try and talk to him in the best way that I could have. “Have you talked to Eleanor recently?” I managed to ask as I sat down on the edge of the fountain. I removed the camera from around my neck and put it down by my feet just as Louis turned around and sat beside me. “She’s my girlfriend,” he stated while I tried to stop myself from wincing at the term. It actually hurt a lot more when he said it, to be honest. “I think I’m obliged to talk to her every day,” he continued, laughing at his own joke. It only earned a mere giggle from me, though, considering I was still a nervous wreck. “No,” I began. “I mean, like, really recently?” “The last time we talked was this morning on the phone, but she had to do revisions because her exams are coming up, so it wasn’t really that long.” He looked at me then, but I couldn’t look back at him so I kept my eyes glued on something far away. Still, I could feel his curious eyes burning right through me. “Why?” he asked almost immediately, which only earned a shrug from me. So turns out Eleanor actually kept her promise and didn’t tell Louis, which probably means she isn’t out to get me—probably. I guess I actually have nothing to worry about…maybe, only a maybe. To my surprise, Louis didn’t push my buttons any further like I thought he would. He just out of nowhere exclaimed a long drawl of “Ahh…” which was then followed by, “I know what this is about.” The panicked look in my eyes must’ve given it away because Louis couldn’t stop himself from smirking. “You do?”


He chuckled then, once again engulfing me in a hug. However, that one was much tighter than the first one. And that time, he didn’t seem to want to let go as he, oddly enough, also began stroking my hair. “Zayn hasn’t phoned you since your date,” he concluded, his voice etching with sarcasm. “It’s alright, love. Cry it out.” It was actually good that he was holding me so close to his chest because I swear if he wasn’t, I probably would’ve reacted so vigorously that I would’ve fallen in the water. Maybe it was just the stressful night, but what Louis said sounded so ridiculous to me. I laughed then, squirming my way out of his arms. “Actually, he’s been texting me nonstop ever since.” “Oh…” he trailed off. “Then what’s bothering you?” Man, I was really hoping he’d let that topic go. But no, he just had to be the typical caring person that he was. Even in the middle of the night, he could manage to forget his own worries and needs, and just aid to a friend who didn’t even need help. However, his concern was quite touching. That was definitely something I missed about him in the four years that I had to live without his constant presence. Then it seemed to have suddenly dawned on me… “What are you even doing here?” I asked, completely ignoring his previous question. “I like walking,” he bantered. I knew then where that conversation was going. “At two in the morning?” I quoted. “I like walking…especially when I’m stressed out.” Then we laughed hysterically together even though it wasn’t exactly all that funny. But I guess everything just seemed to be quite humorous when it’s two in the morning and you’ve barely gotten any sleep. However, that didn’t last long because soon enough, we were once again surrounded by complete awkwardness. And Louis just had to add to it by catching me off guard with his, “So did you have fun during your date?” question. I snickered then. “You’re really not gonna stop bothering me about that, are you?” He ignored my deflection and merely shrugged as he made another commentary. “Seemed like you did, seeing what I witnessed.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me. I instantly remembered what he was talking about. How could I not? It was a cute moment between Zayn and I, if we’re being honest. So no matter how irked I am by that cheeky chap, I had to admit that that moment during our date would actually be something that I’d love to happen again. But that thought was for my mind to ponder over and no one else’s. “I don’t like Zayn, if that’s not obvious enough,” I remarked, which immediately earned a scoff from Louis. “That was nothing. We were just fooling around.”


As soon as Louis burst out into huge fits of laughter at what I had said, I began mentally cursing myself for not thinking before speaking. “That sounded really wrong and way less stupid in my head,” I awkwardly bantered. But that only earned a louder and more boisterous laugh from him, making me roll my eyes and awkwardly laugh along. I thought it was a rather fitting opportunity to ask him the question that had been bugging me all night. “So why’d you barge in on us?” He chuckled once more. “If I didn’t, then who knows what you would’ve done while ‘fooling around’,” he teased, nudging me with his elbow. “So you admit you went there on purpose,” I pointed out, looking at him as his face instantly flushed with embarrassment. “I didn’t know you were gonna be there,” he insisted, trying to recover his shame by looking at me and sticking his tongue out. I only raised an eyebrow at him as a response and I knew then that he got that I wasn’t buying his excuse. He rolled his eyes and turned away from me. “Okay, I did,” he sighed heavily. “But would it be selfish of me to say that I wanted you to hang out with me and only me? I mean, I don’t want the other lads being around you. You’re mine, you know?” I tried my best to keep myself sane and very well composed as his words started sinking in. “I don’t think Eleanor would like that,” I warned. He shrugged. “But she’s not here, is she?” he stated blankly. And since a grin was already on its way to my face, I thought it was best if I just went back to his previous question where it wasn’t that much of a sensitive topic. “Yeah, it’s selfish,” I said, earning a look from him. “But also sweet, I guess.” He immediately grinned and put his arm around me once again. Only this time, I was glad he let it stay there. “To be fair, you are my new best friend now, so I call dibs on you first.” “Dibs?” “Was that a bad thing to say?” I giggled at his innocent ways and nudged him on the side. “I bet you only want to be best friends, though, because I remind you of Chastity, right?” I teased. “But I guess it’s cute how you don’t really want to lose her, so you replace her with the closest thing you can get.” I looked at him intently as his smile slowly began fading and was then replaced by a scowl. “You’re not a replacement,” he denied firmly. “I’d beg to differ.” “Well, fine, at first you were,” he ended up admitting, which made me playfully roll my eyes at the fact that I was right. “Chase, I’ve realized that you don’t remind me of her, but the things that I’ve always loved about her.” He kept quiet for some time, as if he was contemplating what he had said and what he was going to say next. I, on the other hand, found myself once again endlessly smiling. “So basically, I like you not because of Chastity, but because you’re you.”


The smile on my face grew wider. Funny he mentioned that, considering he’s technically just talking about the same person. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” “Is it working?” “In a way,” I bargained as I bounced my head from side to side. He smiled. “Then yes.” I laughed then, and scooted closer to him. As time went on, it was starting to get really cold— not to mention we were right beside a fountain that kept on sprinkling us with the cold water— and I was only mentally cursing at myself for even thinking of going to the park without some sort of very thick coat or jacket. But at least Louis’ body heat was helping and it didn’t seem to mind him that we were in such close proximity seeing as he still had his arm closely draped around me, so I took that as an initiative to make him my personal heat radiator. “You know, you and Zayn are so alike,” I stated, immediately earning a scoff from him. “You just have this way with your words. Like, I’m supposed to feel bad because of what you’re saying, but I don’t.” He nodded lightly. “It’s the charm.” I tutted. “Like that. You guys say things like that and I don’t get annoyed at all.” “I’m fitter, though, right?” he asked, immediately making my head snap in his direction to see if he was serious. And with that kind of facial expression on his face and that glimmer of hope in his eyes, I was pretty sure he was dead serious. I laughed hysterically, earning a mocked hurt expression from him. He even managed to make an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, not to mention how he put his hands right on his chest to add to the effect of it. “Exactly like Zayn,” I concluded. He scoffed exaggeratedly. “I know you like me more than him.” “You sure about that?” “You pretty much just ranted about him a while ago,” he reminded, looking at me with a smug smile on his face. “Plus, I’m sure whatever I do, you’re not gonna get mad. I mean, look at me, I’m irresistible.” He had such a smug and proud look on his face. He even puffed out his chest in attempt to look superior and all. But like I said, I didn’t feel annoyed at all. It was merely banter between us, after all, but even if it wasn’t, it was just him anyway. And that only made it all the more okay. I narrowed my eyes at him playfully. “You? Irresistible? Ha! You will never– oh my god! What was that for?” I screamed off of the top of my lungs. Louis had managed to push me hard enough that in a matter of seconds, I was sent toppling in to the fountain where the water was probably below zero degrees. Well, that was an exaggeration, but it was seriously freezing.


He kept on laughing hysterically, even clutching his stomach because of how humorous he found the situation he had put me in. And somehow, even after all that, I still couldn’t get myself to get angry at him because, well, he’s Louis and he was just that damn ‘irresistible’. “You…mad…yet?” he managed to ask in between laughs. He still hadn’t stopped laughing when I walked towards him. Finding that as the perfect opportunity, I immediately pulled him in with me without him even realizing it. I laughed hysterically then as the look on his face evidently showed how shocked he was, or maybe it was because of the freezing temperature of the water—maybe both. “Does that answer your question?” I raised my eyebrows and towered over him. He stood up as well, obviously drenched just like me. He swung his arm around me and pulled my body closer to his. “I know you’re not mad. I told you, I’m irresistible.” “Not to me, idiot,” I lied, trying to squirm my way out of his incredibly tight grasp. When I was able to do so, I immediately ran away from him to go to the other side of the fountain. As soon as he ran to get me, I impulsively splashed him with the water. Then he splashed me. And I splashed him again. And that went back and forth until we found ourselves actually playing in a fountain at a public park in London. It would’ve been a really odd view for random bystanders, but personally, I’d say it was the funniest thing I have ever done. Unfortunately, our little game had to be cut short—if you even consider half an hour short— when Louis and I noticed how purple our lips were turning and just how freezing we actually were feeling. We immediately got out of the water and sat at a bench that was only a few feet away. I bet I looked utterly ridiculous looking like that at…what was it already? Almost four in the morning? My white V-neck shirt and dark-coloured skinny jeans, which were the first two pieces of clothing I had put my hands on earlier before leaving, were so drenched that it kept on sticking to my skin. I was seriously just wishing I could drag my way out of there. I swear someone was bound to think of me as a homeless person who used fountains as their source of water. Not to mention how mad Charity probably would be if she found out what I had done to her shoes. “Don’t you want to go home and change?” Louis asked after a few minutes of silence. I noticed he was clenching his jaw, probably to stop his teeth from clattering, while I freely shivered beside him. “You’re gonna get sick.” I hugged my legs close to my chest and put my chin on my knees to give myself at least some sort of warmth. “I don’t want to go home yet,” I replied through gritted teeth.


And then the next thing I knew, Louis was sitting right beside me without any space between us anymore and he had his arms tightly put around me. Sure, he was completely drenched, too, but who was I to complain? At least he was considerate enough to at least give me some of his body heat, so I didn’t dare try to move. Instead, I leaned my head on his shoulder in the most careful way I could muster, closed my eyes, and put my arms around my legs even tighter. So basically, I was curled up in a ball next to Louis and he was doing nothing else but snuggling even closer to me. Eleanor was definitely going to kill me. “I can’t believe you managed to make me forget why I was so upset,” Louis suddenly spoke out of the blue after a long moment of utter silence between us. “I went out tonight, feeling like it was the end of the world, then you just happened to be here and everything felt right again.” Wait, did he not know that I was awake? “Chastity was the only one who could do that.” Was I even supposed to let him know that I was awake? “And you weren’t even trying, so thank you.” I guess not. “Sorry if I always redirect everything to Chastity. I can’t help it. It’s only been a few weeks, you know. It’s not that easy to forget about someone who means so much to you.” Yeah, I definitely should just shut up. “But I suggest you better prepare yourself,” he breathily warned. I noticed then that he was shaking so hard because of how freezing it was, yet he didn’t even dare try to move away from me or attempt to loosen his grip the slightest bit. If anything, I was starting to get the feeling that he was even holding on to me tighter—so tight that I might as well have lost my breath. And that was when he said, “Because I’m really gonna be protective over you.” I had no idea why I was supposed to prepare myself for that, but I didn’t really want to ruin the moment by asking him, so I just let him continue. “Like…ridiculously protective,” he went on again. “Maybe even more than Chastity.” He paused for a while, then chuckled lightly. “Maybe.” I tried my best not to stiffen even more than I already was as his words began sinking in. I didn’t really want to let him know I was awake, but it was not easy, especially since I found that everything he was saying was starting to make sense—the talks we always had, the banter that always made its way to our conversations, the sweet things he always somehow managed to imply, the security he was offering…I knew then what was happening between the two of us. “That’s what you get for being exactly like the most important person in my life.” He was starting to get attached to me. Not even to the Chastity type of me, but to the Chase one…if that even makes sense. We are the same person, so I guess it doesn’t really make a difference. Well, at least to me, it doesn’t, but to everyone else around me? Of course that changes everything.


“Let’s just hope you don’t leave me, too,” he mumbled in the quietest way possible as his breathing pattern began settling down. “Because I swear, I really don’t know what I’m going to do then.” And then he just became dead silent. I realized only a few minutes later that he had actually fallen asleep when his grasp on me started loosening and his light snores began overpowering the silence. And because I was aware that he couldn’t hear me, I found myself saying the most dreadful words I could have ever told him.

!

“But eventually, I’m gonna have to.”


Seven Lockdown

!

Chastity

I was sick and I was grounded. I forgot which one between the two came first, but I was currently stuck in the middle of both. The little charade I had pulled with Louis at the public park obviously did not make Charity a happy camper, especially when Louis ended up having to carry me home on his back at six in the morning because I was still asleep. According to his explanation to my sister, apparently, the two of us had fallen asleep because of how late it was and how exhausted we were, so we lost track of the time and just decided to spend the night outside. "Like homeless people," I remember Charity adding to Louis' explanation to which he struggled to stifle his laughter. As embarrassing as that was, I guess that was one of the many things Louis and I admired most about Charity. It was amazing how no matter how big Louis could've gotten, she was probably never even going to see him as anyone or anything else but that boy who brought ruckus everywhere, yet was still responsible and overprotective of me. Charity always remained point-on and frank with anyone, and that was what I really loved—and hated, at the same time— about her. I was still in my room pretending to be asleep when they decided to discuss this, so I had to work out what they were saying most of the time. Still, I could picture Charity with her arms crossed over her chest as she spoke. "You're giving her a bad reputation, Louis." "We didn't even do anything," Louis defended. "But people don't know that, now do they?" she snapped as her voice began to rise. It was something Charity rarely did, so I knew then that she was really angry and frustrated because of the situation at hand. "You two spent the night somewhere together and came home at six a.m. drenched like crazy! If you've already forgotten, your friend is pursuing her, Louis, and you have Eleanor! I don't want your girlfriend to come here again harassing Chase because of something that's out of her control!" I felt myself tense. I almost wanted to barge in on that conversation as soon as I heard Louis’ tone become confused. "Wha– I– oh, uh, Eleanor went here?" he asked. Curse Charity and her loud mouth. "Uh, w-well, I-I, um, well, y-yeah," she stammered, not elaborating on it. “Exactly what do you mean by ‘harass’?”


It became silent for a while and even though I wasn’t part of the conversation (they were technically just talking about me), I still found myself feeling the awkwardness of it all. I knew my sister was finding a way to get herself out of that one, but it was taking her such a long time that it ended up with me deciding to finally prop myself off of my bed and let myself in that conversation to save her. The door was already opened a bit when I walked towards it. I was only about to get out of the room when Charity’s voice stopped me. “The point is,” she began, “This is your world and not hers, Louis, and the same thing goes for Zayn. You've set her up for this crazy setup when she didn't ask for it, but she's going to be the one struggling to keep it off of her back.” Louis scoffed. “I'm not going to let anything happen to her, love, and you know that.” “You can't help what people say about her, can you?” Charity retorted, sounding more and more exasperated by the minute. She didn’t sound too impressed with Louis’ answer. “She's already being recognized everywhere and the things they’re writing about her, Louis, it's insane.” Of course, hearing what Charity had to say immediately made me inquisitive. For the first time ever, my sister actually knew something about the recent trends and events that were being exchanged online much better than I did. I couldn’t pick out whether or not this was a bad thing, especially since the topic did involve me, but I still felt somewhat moved by the possibility that she most likely even knew that because she was watching out for me. Louis’ voice abated when he spoke next, so I had to actually lean in a bit closer to the opened door to hear what he had to say. “Has she seen them?” was what he had asked. I could almost see Charity roll her eyes at the question because of how silly it sounded. I would know, because I did the same thing. I mean, was it even important if I’ve seen them? The fact of the matter was that people were talking about me. “I don't think so and I sure do hope she doesn't,” Charity spat bitterly. “You have to ignore them,” Louis advised. Wrong answer, buddy. “We had a drama-free life; we can't just ignore it if it's going to end up involving her!” Charity all of a sudden exclaimed, appalled by Louis’ response. “We're not used to this!" It was soft, but I heard Louis heave a sigh nonetheless. “I can just try to—” “No, no, no…you have got to stop!” Charity interrupted, the tone of her voice still rising and reverberating throughout the flat. “You're pulling her in that world so much that she's going to have a hard time dealing with it!” “Charity, I've always looked out for your girls, haven't I?” Louis’ voice had gotten louder, too. He was being much more defensive, then. “I don't get why you're being like this." “Four years is a very long time, Louis, and you're not that same boy anymore. You have all this jazz with you and as much as I love that you've let yourself in our lives again, I just can't deal with it.”


Louis’ voice began to falter the moment Charity uttered those words, just as quickly as it had begun to rise several moments before. "You've never been that protective of Chast, especially not from me," he noted with the tone of his voice clearly modulating how hurt he was. My throat began to tighten as they got deeper into the conversation. Meanwhile, I couldn’t stop blaming myself for not having stopped it before it went that far. They were talking about me, weren’t they? I had just as much rights to be included in that conversation as they did, especially if I was the topic of it. So really, why in the hell did I not choose to interject before they had even said those things? I was a coward, that is a given fact, but I couldn’t have been that much of it to the point that I couldn’t have stopped two important people in my life from uttering those things to each other. “I've already lost Chastity because of you, so I don't want to lose her too,” Charity finished off just as I thought the conversation was already bad enough. And then, complete and utter silence filled the entire flat. No one dared try to speak after that and I was pretty sure I wasn’t even breathing anymore. I could feel myself burning up, not just because of the fever that was going to be taking over my body soon, but also because of how things have decided to flow. I mean, who knew going out to photograph random things and bumping into Louis along the way was actually going to come to this? Well, I most definitely did not. Louis ended up clearing his throat. I heard a few footsteps, so I figured he had probably walked over to Charity then. “What do you want me to do?” he asked with his voice so damn soft that I barely managed to make out what he had said. Charity’s voice softened and relaxed too. “You know I love you and I'd hate to ask you this, but can you please back off a little, maybe? I'm going to have to ground her for this stunt you two have pulled, so I guess at least that's gonna keep you away from each other, but do you think you can do that for me, Louis?” Louis kept quiet for a while again after that, probably thinking about whether or not he was going to do this for my sister. Truth be told, a part of me felt relieved that he didn’t agree to it immediately and that he felt the need to contemplate it, but then at the same time, I didn’t really know if I even wanted him to decline to it either. I felt a somewhat striking pain in my chest when I at last heard him answer, “Anything for you, love,” to which Charity thanked him. Several footsteps conquered the atmosphere after that until Louis finally decided it was time for him to leave. At first he wanted to bid me goodbye—wherein I almost sprinted towards my bed, which would’ve most likely caused me to stumble on the floor—but after thinking it through, he chose to do otherwise and just left right away instead.


That obviously upset me so much that I even forgot I was still standing right by the doorframe of my room, and the only reason why I had even remembered was because Charity suddenly cleared her throat out of nowhere and went, “Chastity, I know you’re awake and you’re grounded.” I gently opened the door, then finally let out the sneeze and cough I had been holding in for the past several minutes. Charity came into view with her hands on her hips just in time for me to answer her with, “If it’s anything, I won’t even talk to my non-existent friends for you.” It was a petty joke, but it was still pleasing to see Charity’s lips somewhat curve into a small smile. “I’m serious,” she said. I snickered as I let myself fall on the couch apathetically. “I am, too.” “No cell phone, no computer, no television,” Charity’s stern voice right away caught my attention, “No going out with friends and you’re supposed to go straight home after class. Otherwise, that’d mean you’re at work, but I’ll have to get Nate to supervise you on that one.” “Wha—” “And when you’re home, Chast, you can’t even leave your room, okay?” “That’s fucking ridiculous!” I finally snapped, instantly standing up from where I was as to avoid feeling small. Asking Louis to leave me alone was one thing, but this was already crossing the line. “All this just because I forgot to go home?” “I’m the one in charge here, Chastity.” I’m even surprised she got to say that without yelling at me. Hence, that only sparked my anger more. “We didn’t even do anything!” I reasoned out. “Why are you punishing me?” “Because I said so!” she all of a sudden yelled, taking me aback and making me flinch. Welp, that took long enough. See, that was the kind of stupid answer that mothers usually tell their children to get them to do things. “I’m twenty fucking years old, Charity! I pay for my own bills, I work my ass off in school, and I have my own job at a nightclub that, if you’ve forgotten, ends at two in the fucking morning!” I could already tell by the facial expression on her face that she absolutely did not appreciate how much I was cursing. I went on anyway, “But nooo, hanging out with a friend at a local park in London is just not right in your eyes!” She blinked. “You’re being really fucking immature about this, Chastity. You’re twenty years old, but you act like you’re twelve!” she yelled. “Get over yourself !” My jaw almost dropped when she began to walk away from me. “Nothing happened; I didn’t even know he was going to be there!” I called out.


“It doesn’t matter!” She immediately stopped and turned, looking at me with her fuming expression. “Do you want him to leave you alone or not? Because the last time I checked, Chastity, the reason why you’re even in this position is because you wanted him out of your life. So can you make up your god damn mind? Do you want him to leave you alone or not?” she repeated. I had about a second or less to get the answer right out of my system at that point. We had never, not once, had an argument as bad as that one before, but we both knew well enough that fights like that often involved certain questions that resulted to impulsive answers. And although my sister was right about that whole thing, I still wanted to tell her how quickly everything had changed. I had hung out with Louis long enough to know that I never wanted him out of my life again. I wanted to tell her how badly I’ve gotten attached to him just as how much he had gotten attached to me. But somehow, between all that, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. Because damn, god knows I can’t bring myself to tell much of the truth to anyone nowadays anyway. “Yes!” I ended up shouting. “Then you’re fucking welcome!” Charity’s response immediately rendered me speechless and I was pretty sure she knew that she had won that argument by a landslide. She didn’t look contented, though. Actually, she looked so sad that it pained me to see her like that. It didn’t take much before she turned on her heel and began to walk away from the scene we had caused in our own living room. She was only about to go into her room when I once again stopped her. “You didn’t lose me, you know,” I brought forth, referring to what she had told Louis. That only made her huff. “You should really look at yourself now before making that conclusion.” “I told you,” I sighed, “I changed myself not just because of Louis—” “But also for yourself…I know,” she finished off, sounding and looking exhausted from everything. “But honestly, this isn’t even you anymore, love. Whether you admit or not, we both know you’ve shaped yourself into this whole other person to fit your lie. And I’m so tired of telling you over and over to stop, but at the end of the day, it’s your life and I’m going to have to deal with whatever you choose to involve yourself with, you know? I’m your sister and that’s it.” She didn’t and couldn’t even look at me. “I’m just so tired.” Her last words before she entered her room and locked herself in there for the rest of the day never left my head for the rest of the week. We didn’t speak much after that—maybe just some occasional small conversations here and there when she had to remind me about my punishment, but aside from that, we actually barely talked. I knew from the beginning that I was the one at fault, but having to go up to my sister and having to think of apologizing felt so iffy in my head that I couldn’t do it no matter how hard I tried.


But hey, at least a good thing came out of her grounding me, right? That whole week, I did as I was told and all I did was go to school then come right home and revise for my final exams. Hilariously enough, Charity had even called up Nate to babysit me all week and make sure that I was doing as she had said. My phone and laptop were confiscated, and Nate made sure to keep me in my room while he was the one who watched television. I was literally on lockdown and good god, it was driving me insane. “What are you doing out here? Go back to your room,” Nate reprimanded when I went out to the living room to join him on the couch. I curled up in a ball next to him and slipped my arms around one of his. “I’ve been studying all week,” I stated as a matter-of-factly. “My brain’s going to explode if it doesn’t take in any of the world’s stupidity. Please, at least just a bit, let idiocy be swallowed by my head.” My plea must’ve caught Nate because he flashed me a smile and tapped my head gently with his hand, letting me stay there right beside him. “You better not tell Charity,” was the only thing he said before we went off to watch some absurd reality TV show together. I hadn't noticed I had actually fallen asleep until I got woken up because of some muffled voices and then a door slamming. Even then, I was still sort of fuzzy from being interrupted from a deep slumber, but nonetheless, I was aware of Nate pacing back and forth in the living room while scratching the back of his head out of frustration. He didn't notice I was already awake and he was muttering some things under his breath. He looked extremely pissed and angry, and I was almost afraid to approach him. I heard tires from outside the driveway screeching and that was when Nate finally realized I was awake. "Who was that?" I asked, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. "Nobody," he responded instantaneously, "Go back to sleep." I may have just woken up, but I wasn't a moron and it quite insulted me to think that Nate actually thought I would buy his answer. I furrowed my eyebrows and narrowed my eyes at him. "Sure didn't sound like a nobody," I taunted. "What, was that a girlfriend or a drug dealer? You know you can tell me these things, buddy." He scowled as soon as I finished. I could almost see a pained expression etched on his face when I addressed him with the name. "Go to your room," he ordered sternly. Well, that just made me snicker. Who did he think he was? "You're not Charity," I said apathetically. "Fine," he spat, "Then I'll call Charity, so she can be the one to tell you off." The tone of his voice and his whole demeanour at the moment quickly gave me a certain degree of anger and annoyance. "Okay," I complied, standing up from where I was to head to my bedroom. I brushed my shoulder past his in an aggressive manner. "You don't have to be such a dick about it."


He suddenly took hold of my wrist just as I was walking away. The extremity of his grip on me impulsively made me yank my hand away and, truth be told, he was starting to scare me. "I'm sorry," he apologized out of the blue. His sincerity at least made me feel less threatened and I found myself relaxing. "The delivery boy pissed the fuck outta me." "Seriously?" "Yeah." He shrugged, avoiding my eyes. "I ordered dinner for us, but he messed up the orders and I really wanted my chicken spicy." You'd think I would have laughed right at his face just for that. I mean, any logical person would have known how bullshit of an excuse it was. And as much as I would've hated to believe it, Nate was actually notorious for being the kind of person who would actually do that. I couldn't see the relationship between his frustration and anger with the chicken, but hey, if he's just waving it off like that, then I guess it really didn't matter much. I finally gave in and flashed him a small smile. "I'll cook the two of us dinner, yeah?" I offered, making Nate reciprocate a smile. "I'll even cook you that spicy chicken you want so badly." Nate hooked an arm around my shoulder just like he always did when he was fond of something I had done or said. "You're the best, Chast," he said as he led the two of us to the kitchen. I didn't end up cooking chicken, though, because, well, we didn't have one, but I cooked whatever I found in our fridge in hopes that it would satisfy both our hunger. It did, and Nate didn't even bother mentioning to Charity when she came home that he had let me out of my room. Oddly enough, we had a somewhat mutual understanding that if he ever mentioned that, then I'd have to mention how he had lied to me and probably led a drug dealer or serial killer to our place. When the next day came, I had already chosen to let go of that petty issue and move on to other things when the same thing occurred to us again. I was finalizing some revisions then in my room, when I heard some muffled voices that seemed to be arguing. I couldn't make out what they were saying, so I decided to open my door and check out what was happening. Nate immediately slammed the door upon my entrance. "Who was that?" I asked, the scene being all too familiar. "Why aren't you in your room?" Nate deflected, almost seeming worried. "Nate, who was that?" "Nobody." He sat himself on the couch as casually as possible then turned the television volume up as high as he could have. "Now go back to your room." He was fucking annoying me now. Who was at the other side of the door that he just couldn't seem to tell me about it? He was under our roof and although he was babysitting me, the fact that it was my place was still what mattered.


I found it useless to argue with Nate, though, because he was just as hard-headed as my sister was. One way or another, he was going to find a way to make all that seem like my fault and being the twat of a sister that she was, I was pretty sure Charity was going to believe Nate rather than me. "Fine," I snapped, making him look up from the television to listen to me. "Fuck off, Nate." And then I turned on my heel and went straight to my room. I think Nate was only about to say something—probably an apology or a shit excuse again—when I ignored him by slamming the door as hard as I could have. I thought that would've gotten to him, but I guess not. Because that happened again the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. At this point, I was just extremely exhausted that I didn't even want to bother standing up to him anymore. Instead, when he offered to bring me to school for my finals, I didn't take it and simply ignored him. "I can go to school by myself," I said flatly. Nate looked worried as I went around and about the flat to prepare without acknowledging his existence. "Chast, come on, you know I—" "I'll be in my room," I cut him off, avoiding his gaze as I quickly went back to my bedroom. Let's face it, I was sick and tired of my room, but if leaving it meant having to deal with Nate, then I could still give a million reasons as to why I wanted him to leave me alone. But hey, Nate topics aside, at least I felt like I did well on my finals, right? That's probably something to brag about to Charity. I mean, she'd probably just come up with more bad things I've done just to get me stuck with the punishment, but at least I could rub it in her face how hard I've actually been working. “You have a lot of nerve for coming here,” a girl with ginger hair approached me at our university corridor right after I finished taking the test. She flipped her hair and looked at the other people that had gathered around us in a circle and, weirdly enough, they were all smirking at what was happening at that moment. I, however, was as confused as ever. As far as I know, I had never talked to her nor have I seen those people before and wow, I sure as hell knew they weren't friends of mine either. "I study here?” was my smart answer, “I needed to take my exams.” With that, everyone around us laughed boisterously, making Ginger Girl redden with anger. “You think you’re so smart and cool, don’t you?” she retorted, towering over me, even though I was a bit taller than her. “But the truth is, you’re a conniving slut and a complete home wrecker. You’re just a pathetic little twat who’s grasping for attention. You’re nothing but a fame whore.” I grew even more confused. “Okay, clearly, I don’t know who you are and you don’t know who I am, but—”


“Oh, I know who you are,” she interrupted. “You’re Chase Mitchell, the tramp who’s two timing Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson." Of course, this only caused everyone to gasp exaggeratedly. “For fuck's sake, what did they see in you anyway? You're nothing special." Wait, what? “What?” I accidentally blurted out, which was the stupidest thing ever because it only made me look like an idiot. Everyone was already laughing at me mockingly, but I couldn't bother defending myself. I didn't even know what was happening nor did I know what they were talking about. Plus, I was pretty sure no matter what I said, they were all going to find a way to use it against me anyway, so who was I to speak? "Hey, leave her alone," an all too familiar voice suddenly interjected before I could've walked out on that useless conversation. Everyone immediately turned their heads to look at the person behind me, who was then making his way beside me. He was right by my side, yet I was scared to look at him just in case his face showed some sort of expression I didn't even want to see. "Who are you?" one of the girls questioned. "Oh, please don't tell me you're one of her boy toys because the bitch probably isn't even that good in bed." Nate began walking towards the girl, making the laughter the crowd had been voicing out instantly fade. "Say that again and I'm going to make sure no one's ever going to want to fuck you or even breathe around you," he threatened, making me the one to feel anxious. It was the only time I had gone out and yet I still found a way to create a scene without even trying. Wow, that was pretty messed up. Ginger Girl, nonetheless, didn’t feel threatened and didn’t seem to be bothered with it by any means at all. “You’re what, going to hit a girl, faggot?” Nate snickered. “Want to see me try?” “Hey, stop it,” I finally convinced myself to speak up before things got too out of hand. There were already camera phones and people whispering to each other involved, so that obviously wasn’t a good thing. I turned around and began to speed my way out of there. “Nate, let’s go home.” Nate struggled to catch up with me because of how fast I was walking. It was one thing to be the talks of people in the media and not have a say about it, but having people in my own school think of me like that was another. I couldn’t even decide whether or not I wanted to know what was up, but it seemed to me that what Ginger Girl and her friends said couldn’t leave my mind that I just couldn’t help but talk to Nate about it despite our previous tension and arguments. “It’s nothing, okay?” Nate responded as per usual. “It’s just idiots believing whatever shit people write about.”


“But I want to know, okay?” I looked at him eagerly, ready for what was about to come out. “Tell me.” Nate heaved a sigh, then groaned. He stopped walking then put his hands on both my shoulders. “Your date with that ass from last time came out, but then those were followed by some pictures of you with that other dude the same night, and boy, are their fans hating every moment of it. But like I said, it's nothing. Okay?” I blinked. “How bad is it?” “Well, let’s just say what happened back there was just a taste of it.” Nate put his hands in his pockets, then started walking again. “There are just hoards of blogs and magazines blowing everything out of proportion, you know? It’s their fault, not yours.” I know it was a pretty bad time, but I couldn’t seem to see those things as serious when what Nate was telling me sounded so ridiculous that I just couldn’t help but snicker. “Well, that’s fucking stupid; I’m not a slut!” I whined. “Jesus, I don’t even know how to talk to you without embarrassing myself, let alone try and get those two to pine over me.” Nate laughed along with me, suddenly seeing the subject as ludicrous as I found it. “They’re calling Chase a slut, not Chastity,” he wittily replied. “That’s the same thing,” I told him as I crossed my arms over my chest. “And shit, now everyone actually knows me as Chase Mitchell and this whole thing is just getting more complicated than it already is.” I shook my head lightly. “Aren’t I such a great liar?” Then Nate laughed again. “Well then, you’re a very classy slut, Chastity,” he teased, swinging one arm around my shoulders. I had to admit that that at least made me smile a bit. Sometimes Nate could be total jackass, but at the end of the day, he was still one of my closest friends and he puts up with me, so I’m grateful to him for that. “Why thank you,” I chuckled. I put my arm around the back of his waist and snuggled closer to him as we continued walking towards my place. “Why is there a homeless man sleeping right outside of your door?” Nate interrupted out of nowhere as I felt his body tense with mine. I found myself immediately furrowing my eyebrows and looking at him weirdly. “Homeless man?” I asked as I turned my attention towards my flat. And indeed, there was a small figure cramped up right in front of the door. But it wasn’t a homeless man. I’d recognize those expensive-looking clothes and shoes from anywhere. “I’ll see you next week, Nate,” I mumbled quickly as I began walking in a fast pace, ignoring all of Nate’s attempts to get my attention. It felt a bit like a déjà vu, if you’d ask me.


I began slowing down when I realized that I was right. Zayn Malik was sleeping right outside my house with his back situated against the door, his knees folded close to his chest, his arms folded on top of them, and his face buried in his arms. I could tell he was still feeling cold despite what he was wearing, which was a thin white shirt layered with a white hoodie and a pink jean jacket, some grey Chinos, a pair of trainers, and a grey beanie sat right on his head. It made me wonder what in the hell he was doing there, especially since he didn’t really look as if he was dressed for a camp out. I began waking him up by first whispering, which was followed by some light kicks to his feet, then some light taps on his shoulders, then a bit more whispering, until I found no other choice but to shake him vigorously and to shout at him. But if I learned anything in the ten minutes that I had been trying to wake Zayn up, it was that he is one big heavy sleeper. “Oi, get out of here!” I yelled off of the top of my lungs when I finally had enough. It was then followed by an extremely strong kick right by his hip, which, fortunately, awoke him at last. He yelped out a cry of pain. He was holding on to it when I sat right beside him with my legs crossed and a devious, yet satisfied, smile on my face. He looked at me with sleepy eyes for around two minutes before he finally realized who I was. Or at least, who he thought I was. “Chase!” he greeted with a grin, still gently holding on to his hip. “Where have you been?” “What are you doing with your life, Zayn?” I asked him, leaning my back on the door as well and showing how exhausted I was. “Hey, I told you I’d wait outside your house all day if I needed to,” was his smart answer to that, referring to what he had said to me before. He may have found it smart, considering he had a pretty pleased look on his face, but I just found it insane. I rolled my eyes at him. “You are absolutely mental, you know that?” “It’s all worth it,” he responded as he slung his arm around me and scooted closer. Well, more like cuddled, actually. And being the absolute wreck that I was, I ended up resting my head on his shoulder then closed my eyes. Once again, just the slightest touch of Zayn immediately made me feel comfortable. Oh, how I had missed that bipolar sensation I always ended up feeling for him. “So where were you? I’ve been waiting here all week.” I laughed at him. “I didn’t tell you to wait, moron. And I don’t remember inviting you over either.” “I texted you…a lot,” he mumbled under his breath. “And that dick of a friend of yours told me you didn’t want to see me, so I thought you were mad at me for no reason, which, let’s face it, just made me want to see you more.”


It would’ve probably taken a lot of effort and energy to let Zayn know how surprised I was with that newfound information. So instead of letting all that bewilderment out, I decided to just let out a huge sigh, as if to signify how a massive weight finally got lifted off of my shoulders. So that was what had been happening all week long that made Nate so god damn irritated. No wonder he couldn’t even have the courage to tell me. Being the protective best friend that he was, he probably thought he was looking out for me by telling Zayn to leave me alone, no matter the consequence. “Charity confiscated my phone,” I brought forth. Then I felt him immediately snap his head to look at me, but I just ignored him and his probably confused face. “I got grounded, which is probably why I wasn’t aware that you’ve been here all week. But hey, you have my attention.” “So you’re not mad at me?” “Why would I be?” I felt his grip around me become tighter. “I just wanted to talk, Chase,” he began. He also leaned his head on top of mine, which normally would’ve caused me to cringe or even try and get away as far from him as possible, but just because of how tired I was, I let it be. It was a nice feeling anyway. Then as if out of impulse, I remembered all the things that had happened and the things Nate and I had discussed just moments before. “Did people see you here? This is going to be on the news again, isn’t it?” I sighed. “What is your deal with me? I really don’t get you. Are you really that bored with your life? Is this a bet between you and the boys or do you just enjoy irking me so much?” “I like you,” he instantly replied. That was as blunt as he was gonna get. “Come on, Chase. I know you had fun last time; you said it yourself. So I’m here with no crap and no gimmick—” “I think waiting and sleeping outside my house is quite the gimmick,” I teased, nudging him lightly. He chuckled. “I swear I’m not leaving,” he taunted, assuming that I was gonna blow up or something. He did have that effect on me. It was as if whenever he was around, I felt like shouting and immediately getting mad. However, this time around was different. I was already full of it and couldn’t even be bothered to stand up and tell him to fuck off. So I just stayed there, pressed closed to him. “Good,” I told him out of nowhere. I could tell he was shocked by my response because he instantly tensed up. That was so going to bite me in the ass in the morning, but it was nothing I couldn’t deal with later on. “Because I don’t want you to leave.” Even with my eyes closed, I could still tell he was smirking. “Is that a yes to another date?” “No.” Hey, at least I was still thinking. I wasn’t thinking straight, but I was thinking, which is always good. “You just make quite a nice pillow.” Now that was a great thing to say after a fallback.


That caused him to crack up. “You know you love being around me,” he bragged. “I know I’d love it if you left me alone,” I teased. “Twat.” “A second ago you told me you didn’t want me to leave and now you’re calling me a twat and telling me that you want me to leave you alone?” he questioned. “That’s pretty fucked up, Chase.” I laughed and found myself snuggling closer to him as the wind grew stronger. “Just shut up and let me sleep,” I told him. He suddenly removed his arm around me, which caused me to sit back up. At first I had no idea what was happening because I was already in the verge of falling asleep, but it all made sense to me once he began removing two of his items of clothing. He placed his jean jacket around me and put the beanie on top of my head, then let me lean on his shoulder once again, only this time, with both his arms draped around me. “Now you can sleep,” I heard him say as my senses began becoming muffled. I could tell I was rapidly falling asleep. “Good night, Chase.” Then I felt him kiss the top of my head. “Mmm…” was the only thing I could’ve voiced out before everything actually went blank and silent.


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