Femalia - It's a (wo)man's world

Femalia It’s a (wo)man’s world

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Editor’s letter When you were young, you had a specific notion of what you’d grow up to be – a boy or a girl. So, you’d perhaps dress according to your given gender or not. In Indian culture, your clothes define your gender and when someone goes against the norm, you’re not accepted as part of society. The Hijras are a new girl gang, who show the world that they are genetically born men, who would rather be women through female dress. Of course, this is despised in Indian culture, the Hijras are displayed as mere objects of abuse, mockery and items of foreplay – in today’s world, everything is judged according to what they wear.

Femalia is a quarterly print magazine for the Hijras of India, whose real boundaries are limitless. This publication is a celebratory and positive presentation of a new subculture. “We are not constructed by gender or society.” Issue 01 recognizes the Hijras as a part of our world. In the interview, ‘Dressing against the norm’ Arman Ayaaz talks about transphobia, selfies and multi-ethnicity in her world. In the shoot, ‘Cakey make-up tutorial,’ Alisha gives you tips on how to wear make-up to plump your lips (no, not like Donatella Versace). This platform is more than just a fashion statement. It tells you how to dress against the norm and celebrate your girl power – Femalia offers a space to celebrate a new girl gang – less in number, but more in power.

Be it the good, the bad or the ugly, Femalia explores what it’s like to live in a Hijra’s world. This is their opinion and right - hold your thoughts and celebrate the heroines of the world.

Nishika Prakash

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Contributors Alisha / Arman Ayaaz / Dolly / Geeta / Kajol / Nader Bilgrami / Naomi Lea / Rachel van Eck / Rudrani Chettri / Sapna / Sheila -3-

Inside Femalia 05 Get Girly 09 Body Talk 15 Gender Bender 17 “It’s all about being dolled up.”

19 Alisha’s Cakey Make-up Tutorial 23 Belly Dancing Enjoys a Masculine Make-over 31 Undo the Razor 35 Dolly Khan 39 At Home with the Hijras 45 Hot Heels 51 Dressing Against the Norm with Arman Ayaaz 57 Girl Power

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Get

From left to right: Alisha, Sapna, Sheila strike a pose in the porch facing Mahim Railway Station

Words and Portraits by Nishika Prakash

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Girly A lot of faces go unnoticed in the humdrum of Mumbai city – but the Hijras are a new girl gang who are proud to stand out, whether the locals like it or not.

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right red lips, coloured saris and fake nails, the Hijras are not hard to miss, even amongst the chaos of India’s most populous city, Mumbai. The genetically born men, who’d rather be addressed as women, celebrate the power of femininity in a male-dominated country.

They have taken a long, arduous journey, rejecting their biological sex and opting to become a Hijra – men dressed as women.

“Transgenders,” “The third-sex,” “Prostitutes,” – the Hijras have unofficially been given several names, but none of this name-calling signifies who they really are. “Before calling us names, the society must learn to address us as women,” says Shabnam, a 35-yearold Hijra, who lives in a small-dilapidated room near Mumbai Central train station. Society often questions why should those born, biologically male be addressed as a ‘she?’ – well, why not? It’s a brilliant fashion alchemy – let’s say, they aren’t trying to be women, but they are women whose real boundaries are limitless.

“Most of the victims are Hijras, because they engage in sexual intercourse for money, we are raped and treated like objects used to gain pleasure. If a man raped a woman, he is forgotten – but even though we are genetically born men, just because we dress like women, we aren’t ‘manly’ enough,” continues Shabnam. In India, overcoming a social stigma is a seemingly eternal struggle. You may have lived your life

to the “fullest” as they say; yet, society will continue to haunt you to your grave. Although, India doesn’t criminalize LGBT activities; Section 377 in the Indian Law, does criminalize ‘acts’ that go against your gender – be it male to female dressing or homosexual behaviour. So much for a truly “democratic” India.

Men who dress according to their gender are accepted as part of society, but when the same man dresses like a woman, he is excluded from Indian society. “We have to go through emasculation – a surgery which removes our male sexual organs and replaces them with female genitalia,” says Shabnam, as she discusses the sexual procedure that a Hijra goes through. India still welcomes gay parades and female empowerment, yet for a man to come out in the open as a woman, still remains “unfashionable” among the broad-minded Indian society.

Though we now live an age where laser hair removal and waxing is directed towards women, the Hijras celebrate body hair as a ‘symbol of power’ for women. “Why should women remove hair? It is something natural that we’ve been given and the Hijras are the only women to embrace body hair,” continues Shabnam. Despite being social outcasts in India, they liberate a new ‘girl gang.’ The Hijras mark the celebration of female power as men in women’s dress in the 21st century – and they are here to stay forever. Meet the power players of today - The Hijras.

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Get girly

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Body Talk Kajol is a 40-year-old Hijra from Mumbai with black hair who always wears red. She talks about how important body language is in her world.

From plucking eyebrows to walking in heels – she knows it all.

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Kajol’s way of wearing a blouse looks a little like this.

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t the scene, Kajol stands in a red sari before a mirror, in a room covered with turquoise curtains. As the camera reveals more of her backside, her hand moves to her hip, she turns to the camera giving a smile. She leans forward, throws her head back and laughs saying, “Body language is everything.” Meet Kajol, 40year-old Hijra, who lives 120 miles east of Mumbai - on the fringes of a vast slum called Dharavi, where two cities meet and cars roam through thick congestion. In this social realm of looking for the ‘perfect female body,’ she paints the town red with her curves.

As I begin speaking to Kajol on a sultry afternoon in Mumbai, she says, “We make the streets our runway…people look at me with disgust, some even call me a whore when I walk by.”

It is ironic how in an Indian landscape of male-domination, even men with dicks are looked at with shameful eyes, purely because of the way they choose to dress as Hijras. Yet, Kajol celebrates what she stands for - from clothing, love, appreciation, personal relationships and her interactions with the world around her. In an effort to understand living a life in a woman’s shoe, the biggest question we can ask ourselves is: Why are we here? If this sounds very ambitious, it may be because our notion of what women have become, is inextricably linked to how far we’ve come - be it in the field of art, fashion or simply the natural process of giving birth. When I first met friend Kajol, the way she was dressed made her more feminine than I’ve ever felt myself. “Over the years, my dressing has never compromised itself in terms of -10-

Body talk public taste - I decide what I wear,” she says, admiring herself in the mirror. A narcissist like her may seem like she’s trying “too hard,” and although that’s how it might seem to those outside her culture, she doesn’t seem to care.

Relationships are something I’ve always been curious about, concerning people like Kajol. I propose an obvious question to her, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

She bites her lips and says, “I do respect men…but women are more beautiful to look at, actually a lot of men find me attractive, but only for sexual purposes – so I don’t like to have boyfriends. I do have casual sex sometimes, which doesn’t make me happy, but I only do it for the money.” In her world, perhaps, ‘money can’t buy happiness’ is something to believe in.

“ boyfriends, I do have casual I don’t like to have

sex sometimes, which doesn’t

”

make me happy.

As Kajol fixes her make-up for one last shot, she says, “Between the contrast of dilapidated slums and rich streets of Mumbai, it is quite daring for a man to be walking in stilettos, you’re judged wherever you go.” Perhaps, the streets have become a runway for the Hijras and this has certainly made a lasting impact on the global fashion industry. Not to mention the debut of Hijra, Anjali Lama who modelled for fashion designer, Amit Aggarwal for Lakme Fashion Week in India this season. “From the significant clap to the swift movement of hips - it is only through our body language that people identify us as Hijras. “Women from our group have been part of the fashion runway today and I’m terribly impressed that we’ve gone so far and will continue to do so,” Kajol says.

Clothing for the Hijra community in India is no doubt one of the most successful and visceral expressions of their identity and their development into womanhood, but their unique way of dressing gives the Hijras, visibility and suave, which makes them relevant. “My mother hated the way I dress, my family never supported me, so I came to live with people who are just like me – It made me feel like I belong some-

where.” Clothes have given Kajol the power of being a woman that she wants to be, more so in a country that conforms to cultural boundaries around gender, she now openly tells the world that she isn’t afraid of being a woman.

On any given day, Kajol loves to dress up like an Indian actress from a Bollywood movie, she’d often be seen wearing saris or salwaar-kameez (tunic low-hem trousers), make-up, wigs and jewellery - very much like an Indian woman’s attire. “Before I was Kajol, I had a masculine name, but I changed it – if my actions were lady-like, my name had to be one too. People get this wrong – a Hijra isn’t merely a man turned into a woman, but we’ve learnt a routine that differentiates us from any other man – the habit of wearing a bra and ladies’ underwear – my friends and me have learnt to love dressing up this way,” she continues.

Since, high school, Kajol hated wearing a boy’s uniform and was often mocked for her overtly feminine way of walking. Her hair usually grew at a length, much longer than the other boys in school and today her beautiful tresses remain as lustrous as her red lips, lip-lined in black. She looks unlikely but fantastic. I asked her, “Why on earth did you wear this outfit?”

Her response - “To show you in person that my dress is very much a part of my personality too.” Her transition into a woman is one thing, but observing her in person didn’t seem like I was talking to any other man dressed as a woman. We became friends; those that exchanged fashion and make-up tips.

Between girl-talk and a photoshoot, Kajol eventually told me that being called gay is a horrible feeling.

“I remember when I wore my first red dress back in 1992 and I told someone, no one has the right to use my gender to club me into ‘gay.’ If I say I am not a man, then who are you to question it? Being called gay or a man really upsets me. We may have started on the streets, but we’ve at least made it to the fashion world.” But, so far, across the fashion front, the feminized body seems to be certainly working well.

Kajol unbuttons her blouse, twists her hips towards the camera, flipping her long hair back for the last photograph. “Perhaps we walk better and are much more fuller on the chest,” she laughs. I really hope our bodies are not just ‘used’ as toys, it’s not easy to live like this, but all I want is to be a woman who is a celebration and an inspiration.”

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Gender Bender From men in neon pink thongs to being objectified as the spectacle of ‘ugly females’ of fashion, are Hijras still finding work and welcome from India’s fashion industry?

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ith glittering saris, bright makeup and a reputation for bawdy song and dance, we know that is and will be a Hijra’s way of life. If Hijras are man minus maleness, they are also, in their outward appearance and behavior, man plus woman – the most obvious statement is witnessed in their fashion. Traditional Indian jewellery such as wrist bangles, nose rings and toe rings, as well as the bindis, remain religious to the Indian woman, but who said men can’t wear it? Gender binaries are in and our girl-boys are here to show you what it’s all about.

The significance of the bindi on the forehead itself is a replica of a hot-headed, powerful woman, but that’s not all. Throughout history, if a woman isn’t at her best presentable state, in her appearance and attire, she might as well be a monster or refer to Caravaggio’s painting, “Medusa,” where the poet, Gaspare Murtola writes, “Flee, for if your eyes are petrified in amazement, she will turn you to stone.” Through the ages, we’ve all heard of the most misleading thoughts about a woman’s gender. For years together, the Hijras have been looked at similarly – men who take the role of weak, weary and angry women. Not to mention

the way they style female clothing on themselves is often not seen as a political statement, but a spectacle of the ‘ugly females’ of fashion. Hijras are here to prove that there exists a woman in every man. Perhaps, misogyny should be considered dead after all.

Hijras’ performances are often burlesques of female behavior and much of the performances come from the incongruities between their behavior and that of women of the larger society whom they choose to imitate. Their very act of dancing in bars, doing the dishes or simply running household chores is contrary to what ordinary women, would do or rather, as society thinks women “should do.” Indeed, one wouldn’t witness these men parading in pair of Prada’s but their style is all in the low budget hoo-ha – somewhat like charity shop purchases.

Be it desk jobs at work or applying for a promotion as the girl boss - the world has seen women dressing up as men to ‘fit in.’ But does equality in fashion mean that a woman must step into the man-shaped world, and dress up as men do? Women are sick of the masquerade, trying to constantly prove that ‘we fit in.’ Yet, dressing up as a woman makes a man ‘weak’ – or in this case homosexual, which lead to the abolishment

Text and Portraits by Nishika Prakash -15-

Geeta likes to pose bare chest

of gay marriages in India. Yet to the Hijra community in India, the act of ‘dressing up’ as a woman is the first connotation they give whilst disclosing their identity – not that they can’t be bellicose. They can. But this is about the Hijras’ living right, simply substituting men empowering a fashion statement as women wouldn’t cut it.

The predilection for women’s clothing is observed in the fact that all Hijras wear a bra, which is either padded or, as is more likely, stuffed. “Sometimes it just is there,” Indian fashion journalist, Serena Nanda has written, “Empty, on the flat male chest.” But no longer is the ‘flat male chest’ a connotation. Hijras take female names on being initiated into the community, and take on women’s mannerisms. They request “ladies only” seats on trains and buses, stand in women’s queues at railway stations and cinema halls and use female kinship terms, such as “sisters” and “daughters” in addressing each other. Most importantly, their mannerisms are reflected in their importance of living together as a community of ‘men as women.’ Love, belonging and togetherness is all that the Hijras ever want, all equally ignorant to the cynicism they receive.

Ergo, this is what ‘gender equality’ is about.

That person who has fake breasts, long hair as a woman and hairy all over is a man dressed as a woman, but are such physical prejudices of appearance the only barometer to define ‘gender?’ Mrs. Postan, who published Cutch, Or Random Sketches; in 1838, demarcated the presence of two Hijras and addressed them as, “The two most hideous women, who sit cross-legged in a sort of basket chair, placed on each side of the portal.”

“ No longer is the flat male chest a connotation.”

One only finds out, history is meant to turn heads into a better future when the ‘most hideous women’ launch their own fashion careers. In 2016, Rudrani Chettri, a female activist started a modelling agency, which is for the Hijras. Such is fashion – we like it fine and fresh. From social shaming, public outcasts to female liberators, these wo(men) embody power in fashion, diversity and opinion. Perhaps, 2017 marks the abolishment of gay marriages in India, but the Hijras still spell individual freedom today. The new girl-guys are here to prove that there is a man in every woman.

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“It’s all about being dolled up.”

“The first step is to stop caring about what anyone thinks of you. Without all this make-up, we wouldn’t be called Hijras, you know?” Those are Alisha’s first few words as we begin our conversation. The idea of ‘dressing-up’ is a part of who the Hijras are - it is not just a hobby. They take their fashion seriously, which makes perfect sense because, how they present themselves to the world, defines who they really are. From puckered lips to voluminous eyelashes, Alisha gives make-up tips on how to achieve the perfect ‘cakey make-up look’ that blends well with a red body-con dress. She says, “Less is always less, we do nothing by halves.”

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Alisha

Alisha’s Cakey Make-up Tutorial STEP 1

“Apply lots of foundation (preferably a much lighter colour to your skin, so you look white). Oh, and please get those brows shaped before you even start applying anything on your face, definitely no monobrows here. Make sure every product you use looks bright on your face - perhaps, yellow, pink and more pink.”

STEP 2

STEP 3

“Apply a thick layer of mascara, make your eyes pop out (big time!). Then stick those fake eyelashes on your real lashes. Trust me, you will look much better than Kim Kardashian, because our skin doesn’t need ‘fake tan,’ we’re blessed with naturally tanned skin.”

“Now, apply a thick layer of lip liner - go far, far away from the lip line as possible, that’s how you overdo your lips. Then, smother your lips with lots of lipstick, preferably a colour like candy pink or rose red. I always go for a cherry red. Now, reapply lipstick and blot it with a lip-brush.”

STEP 4 “Lastly, powder off your face with a pink blush, make sure you go heavy on this. Go loud on all the colours.

Dust some talcum powder on your face, oily skin is a big no-no! Don’t forget to check yourself in the mirror (you look fabulous, don’t worry!) It’s all about being dolled up, you’re ready to go now!”

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step is to stop caring about “ The first what anyone thinks of you.

�

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Alisha

Eye Candy

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Belly Dance

Enjoys a Masculine Makeover From twerking to sashaying their hips, male belly dancers are showing their best moves in the birthplace of Bollywood, Mumbai.

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ressed in skirts, decorated with golden coins and twinkling tassels, male belly dancers are in vogue, jerking their hips to Bollywood rhythms.

This seems odd and grabs your attention – not only is this a man specifically performing a traditional feminine activity, but he’s doing a dance that is designed for a woman’s body. Belly dancing originated in the Middle East 1000 years ago and has been an important part of folk dance in Arabic culture. In India, belly dancers served as entertainment for the Maharajas in India, during their reign in the 18th century.

But, when people think of belly dancing, they picture a curvaceous, full-bosomed woman wearing heavily embellished outfits, shimmying and sashaying purely to satisfy the pleasures of a man. Yet, this is not an unusual phenomenon. There are many male dancers in the world who have remained in the shadows due to strict social norms.

Today, when Sapna dances, everybody cheers. Her hips shake in slow movements and the muscles on her stomach

vibrate as the coins around her waist create a peculiar sound. The glitter on her face catches the spotlight, reflecting its glare back to the audience. “It wasn’t easy for me to be here, I’ve come really far as a belly dancer,” says Sapna, twirling her tresses.

In traditional Indian culture, belly dancing would not happen in a theatre or a social gathering. It would happen in a private space where men would use women for their entertainment. “Fashionable,” Sapna says, “Yes, fashionable - it’s become so much more in vogue for straight men to dance, I remember bars were full of men throwing cash notes at women – it was so humiliating that dance as a beautiful art form, was seen as an act of ‘selling’ a woman’s body.”

Although cultural boundaries in India are open to accepting sexual preferences, our Hijras are considered a race that is not a ‘he’ or a ‘she,’ but a ‘third-gender.’ In practice, the former are often forced into pornographic activities, or stripped off to prove their gender. “They [the people] mock me, because I often dress in my belly dance

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RIGHT Sapna in her belly dance attire. He wears a yellow embellished top and palazzos that are hand-stiched.

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Belly dance enjoys a masculine makeover costume which is only meant for women,” Sapna says. Perhaps, acknowledging the Hijras as human beings is too much to ask for here, let alone a ‘third-gender.’

But, the difference is that the Hijras still take pride in dancing – “My feet don’t stop until I get better,” Sapna continues.

Even though the world becomes more accepting towards one’s sexual orientation and the form of belly dance has evolved vastly from different cultures, the belief that it is a ‘woman’s only dance form never fades. In a place like India, where traditional Kamasutra cave paintings, during the 18th century displayed the act of men making love, ironically, ‘dressing against the norm’ is still seen as a stigma in 2017.

Looking at men as same-sex lovers in Kamasutra paintings is one thing, but to watch male belly dancers is quite another.

“Dance is not defined by genders, but it is characterized by the way your body moves,” says India’s up and coming male belly dancer, Eshan Hilal, “When people look at me, they look more in shock, that a man is showing his belly and moving his hips, they don’t look at my talent. I don’t want to be looked at for cheap thrills. I want to be appreciated for just my talent and the power of my performances,” he shares. “People have to get over their narrow mindsets and realise how beautiful and graceful belly dancing is – which is far from associating it with

gender boundaries. Maybe that would help them look at me just as a dancer, not a man entering a woman’s profession.”

As one of the first contemporary male belly dancers in India, Hilal has created a huge flutter among the Indian tabloids and video channels such as The Times of India and YouTube.

Similar to Hilal, Sapna’s moves have been an eye-opener for many male belly dancers. “No one embraced belly dancing for men in my village as a Hijra, they only knew it was a dance performed by women, so I had to leave my relatives and come here [Mumbai] to begin my own profession as a dancer – it wasn’t easy, it still isn’t, but as long as I’m allowed to dance, I’m happy, it sets me free and allows me to be the woman I want to be.” The fact that India, still remains male-dominated, Hijras just like Sapna, embrace womanhood everyday via their sartorial choices and body ideals – be it through untamed armpit hair, hairy legs or face fuzz. Sapna says, “I dance just like a woman and that really shocks people. So much, that they’re shocked into enjoying it. When I dance, I create a kind of ‘gender confusion’. I am a man – with a beard!”

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“ When I dance, I create a kind of ‘gender confusion, I

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am a man – with a beard!

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Belly dance enjoys a masculine makeover

Finger Party

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This page and opposite: Sapna wears a yellow belly dancing costume and studded necklace, hand harness and earrings

Spray Away “I fall in love very easily, I’ve fallen in love with dancing, clothing and fashion,” Sapna smiles, as she candidly poses for one last shot. Location courtesy; Sapna’s residence

Undo the Razor Long hair tresses are in; we’re talking beards and armpit hair. From fashioning the male stubble to letting hair grow to unprecedented lengths, Meet Sheila, who goes against the female razor.

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here are many items of clothing that announce to the world that the wearer is now a woman. For some people, it’s the bra and for some it’s a woman’s first shoe with a heel – but is this the only barrier that separates a woman from a man? In the 21st century, it is definitely hard to tell. “Do you like what I’m wearing? Because many people don’t,” asks Sheila, adjusting her crimson blouse. As a young teenager growing up in India, Sheila was peculiar yet different from her male friends – she loved playing with dolls, adored the colour pink and grew her hair as long as her Mother’s. “So what if I like pink? We live in a society where fashion relies heavily on gender, girls are ‘designated’ as girls, when they wear anything pink, boys are forced to love the colour blue. Isn’t fashion supposed to give us the freedom to love and wear what we want?” she questions.

From buttock shaping knickers to D-cup bras, Sheila’s closet has collections of dresses that she wears to dance, for ceremonial occasions, bright coloured bosom-clinching bustiers and jewellery that she’s been collecting as a child. Today she wears a fluorescent green sari with a yellow blouse. “I shaved for your shoot today, so you wouldn’t have to Photoshop my stubble,” she laughs. For this, is something you’d call a celebration of womanhood, and not consider them as objects inciting “sex” in a man’s world. “I was used

like a toy sometimes – touched and played with. But, I still always compare myself to women, how intricate they look in clothes and the power women reflect in clothes. For me, dressing up always meant looking better than the women around me.” Throughout Sheila’s childhood, her friends often mocked her feminine side. Not only did her friends ridicule Sheila, but our society puts forward rules that a woman isn’t a female, lest she doesn’t clean-shave or spend hours in treacherous pain to get that face fuzz removed. Sheila says, “So, now I’m not an effeminate, because I choose to keep my stubble and wear make-up.” No wonder Hijras are wrongly identified as ‘third-genders,’ engaging in gay sex, which is now taken too seriously and made into a law that prohibits ‘homosexual activities.’

Sheila says there was never a defining moment in his transition towards being a woman. “It’s not like I wore a skirt one day in front of everyone and decided that I wanted to be a woman, it’s not as easy as that, there is a process in front of you, the acceptance that you want to give yourself a completely different identity and that is something which is involuntary and only comes naturally.” Women have to think, “Do I need to shave down there? Or do I need to plan my next wax appointment? Thanks to social media, we’ve now clogged our brains with images of the ‘perfect’ looking woman, (no hair anywhere please! except

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Sheila stands in a fluorescent sari on the wet footpaths of Mumbai

your head) and still continue to empty our pockets every year by spending £8,000 on hair removal.

“Men with a stubble look like ‘Sex Gods’ and hair on a woman looks shabby.” Sheila poses for me exposing her fuzzy armpits. “I think I’m photogenic, full of power and a celebration, I wouldn’t forcefully remove anything that belongs to me, even my hair for that matter. So what if I am kept outside the glamorous world? As long as fashion comes from within, glamour shows on yourself,” she continues. Being a Hijra is quite the phenomena in a country like India, but not a positive one. Yet, in fashion, we promote ‘androgynous’ clothing - dress men as women.

With social stigmas surrounding gender and sexuality, our society certainly accepts the latter, but the so-called ‘open-minded’ thinkers, appoint laws based on how one dresses. Sheila lives within a community of people, who are just like her and society’s obsession that the Hijras are not ‘womanly enough,’ still continue to stir their lives. On scanning through her closet, you’d find push-up bras, brightly coloured underwear and hand-stitched festive dresses that are not just beautiful, but symbolize the power of clothes that display a positive presentation. “We share our clothes, we teach each other to dress up,” Sheila says while adjusting the hooks on her blouse. “After all, learning to be independent is one of the most beautiful qual-

ities a woman owns and we have to learn to be like that – because people like us who are born as men are taught to give all the dirty work to women and I despise looking at women that way.”

Even with the openness about gay marriages and LGBT communities, a man dressed as a woman is disregarded within Indian culture. “The way I dress has nothing to do with my sexual preference, our ‘democratic’ society doesn’t seem to get that. What does my dressing sense have to do with my sexual preference?” she says. How ironic is it that we now live in an age of love and acceptance, regardless of one’s gender, but the Hijras still remain ‘unfashionable’ to society?

Women who are just like Sheila, don’t hide, they show off and they aren’t afraid to do so, the 2017 Hijras live and breathe fashion by strutting in stilettos and making the streets their own runway. Given the “fashion” aspect that a sari or even a bra might provide to a woman, loses its impact when you see a damsel in distress. In a world where, instagram posts and twitter feeds conform to female stereotypes of looking smooth, baby-skinned and Goddess-like and the profound judgment involving homosexual marriages in India, for people like Sheila, be it dressing like a woman or growing facial hair is a badge of honour, a fashion statement and her right. She says, “Let me be, let me love whoever it may be.”

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Happy Feet

“What I’m obsessed with is looking good, for the sake of looking good,” says Sheila on her way to shoot for Femalia. Come rain or shine, Sheila is always dressed to kill.

Location courtesy; Dadar Station

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Dolly Khan

Dolly’s small purse has a purple lipstick, foundation and condoms inside it

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“Dolly is obviously a short-form for the word doll and that’s what I’m known as among my friends,” she begins. Arriving from Agra, India; Dolly, a 45-year-old Hijra, came to Mumbai to help HIV patients and to live with people of her own kind. She begins, “I was there to extract the truth, as all Hijras do. This pursuit caused me to leave Agra, behind 10 years ago.” On this usual warm day in Mumbai, even the sun positioned itself in observance of her face, creating the light needed for the shoot.

With the austerity of a gentlewoman, Dolly is the matriarch for many Hijras that come to Mumbai seeking a home. When thumbing through her clothes, she turns to me and says, “Oh how I love clothes, they truly make me a woman.” What took place was a rather, laid-back conversation – purely in observation of her feminine side.

Describe yourself My name is Dolly Khan and I was born in Agra, but I was born in Punjab, India. I volunteer as a social worker, which means I don’t charge any money for it.

I look after patients with HIV, Tuberculosis and Cancer at a local hospital in Mumbai.

orientation. I love wearing anything and everything and this doesn’t make me gay, you know?

As a Hijra, how are you different from anyone else?

Men and women feel that they are different from one another and they should be treated equally of course, but also with respect. A man feels he can do certain things and a woman feels she can do certain things, but a Hijra has the power to do both. We can take the form of a mother and a father, adopt a child and be parents at the same time. In fact, there are many Hijras who are doing both.

Why are you dressed like a woman?

From grade one to college, I had to face a lot of difficulties; people used to think I am different and as I grew older, I couldn’t tolerate it any longer. So I dropped out of college and couldn’t finish my degree. I was always interested in doing make-up and cross-dressing. Fortunately, my adoptive parents never stopped me because, they knew I was of a different Why are your clothes flashy all the time?

A Hijra’s clothes should be different - glittery and gender. sexy. Since we are different from the world, we should How did your journey towards womanhood dress differently too. Once we wear this attire, that’s when we are recognized as Hijras. If we did not posbegin?

The stigma of being born a Hijra starts at home and sess this style or make-up, we would probably be seen that’s also where the communication gap begins. At as any normal man. We wouldn’t be called Hijras. first your siblings start to tease you, then your neigh- There’s an impure part of our body, which when seen bours, that’s when it goes to the society – where peo- by someone, can change tremendously. ple don’t even know who you are and start mocking What advice would you like to give to other Hiyou, after which a Hijra faces a lot of issues. jras like you?

Let’s talk about sexual preferences, are you Wear what you want – because you have the right to.

Stop being afraid of what people think. If you love gay?

Good question. No, I’m not gay at all. I think women wearing heels, do it. Do everything possible, celebrate are beautiful and my thoughts are still very heterosex- your presence because, remember that you stand as ual. I don’t think my clothes should reflect my sexual an example for other people who are just like you.

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Dolly Khan

I was always interested in putting on make-up and cross-dressing.

Since we are different from the world, our clothes should be different too.

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People used to think I was an effeminate.

I left home, I knew my world was somewhere else.

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At Home with the Hijras

From buildings to bedrooms, Femalia explores Hijras’ personal spaces and throws open doors of the places where they live, breathe and curl their eyelashes. Be it broken walls or graffiti, the series of images tell you where the girl-boys spend their nine to five moments.

Text and Portraits by Nishika Prakash -39-

“In our age of find-your-own-way relationships, shelter and career, this is my home, where I start my journey. Any change is slow, so I’ll go with the flow.”

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At home with the Hijras

“My survival kit to life: a handbag, sandals and clothes. Even though I’m on my way somewhere, though I’m not sure where, this is all I ever need!”

-Dolly, 45

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“The fork-like thing you see on the wall is to scratch my back, it’s so satisfying.”

-Alisha, 21

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No strings attached Clothes left to dry in a typical Hijra home “My clothes have no gender.�

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Hot Heels ‘Bold’ - India’s first modelling agency for the Hijras, by the Hijras lets you step foot on a new platform. From learning to walk in stilletos to perfecting your long strides, Femalia speaks to CEO, Rudrani Chettri who gives every aspiring Hijra a Cinderella heel to walk in.

Text and Portraits by Nishika Prakash -45-

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Hot heels All that glitters is not gold, it’s bold. “It started with fingernails,” Rudrani Chettri says, CEO of India’s first modelling agency, ‘Bold’ - for the Hijras, by the Hijras in 2015. “I painted them and often wore makeup, I knew there were others just like me who admired themselves in front of the mirror – they posed like a woman would never do,” Chettri says.

At 22, Chettri started identifying herself as a woman. She went to social gatherings dressed as a woman and was often questioned whether she was a model

– her terribly beautiful clothes were far from any ordinary Indian women’s attire. “I thought, there are people just like me – who wanted to pose in front of the paparazzi and spend half their lives trying to look beautiful, I wanted Hijras to be given an opportunity to pose like any other model would.”

Granted that both men and women are judged on the basis of their appearance, but the latter have to bear more scrutiny than men. Having to constantly fight the battle between being born a woman and her

“Just look at our films, we’ve been portrayed as a gag or caricature for people to laugh at, perhaps more like an evening pleasure after a long day at work.” power is a tough one – especially in India, where superstition and religion is everything (yes they concern women too).

Bollywood is another industry where all else fails, but the drama. Several films regarding the Hijras have been made, where stories are about them, not for them. “Just look at our films, we’ve been portrayed as a gag or a caricature for people to laugh at, perhaps more like an evening pleasure after a long day at work,” continues Chettri. The Bollywood industry has definitely showed one side of their world, but not much has been done across social media – pictures of gay parades and LGBT communities display the Hijras as part of a homosexual community, and they say we get our facts from social media and news, right?

Looks like it’s hard to tell.

All said and done, one search of ‘Hijra Fashion’ on Google will leave you with about a dozen headlines regarding how colour, diversity and being genderless should be embraced in the fashion industry, but at the end of the day, a bunch of Indians merely sit, scroll and sympathize whilst sipping tea. There is more than enough content about Hijras being ill-treated, we’re all bored of reading that. What is new? The same old stories have been questioned, read and written about over and over again. Yawn.

In all girl glory, ‘Bold’ is giving Hijras what they want (for the first time). “How long can we wait till we get the ‘right’ opportunity to present ourselves

as models, we love wearing everything feminine – I thought we’ll dress up, do it and run with the concept.” Perhaps, the Indian culture is still struggling to understand why men like wearing women’s dress, because our clothes are still so easily ‘tailor-made’ that they just look like different variations of menswear, except for the standard sari. It is ironic how the fashion industry in India openly accepts the LGBT and gay community, but they’re still not open to the idea of putting photographs of Hijras in mainstream magazines.

Now, ‘Bold’ is at the forefront of a genderless fashion industry in India. The agency in New Delhi represents 10 women and a stylist and photographers. For the first time, Deepthi, a Hijra from the agency has been featured on the cover of a women’s magazine in India called Vanitha. “Funding all this hasn’t been easy, we’ve got some financial help from The Mitr Trust, India. Breaking into India’s fashion industry requires more than just money, let alone pictures of beautiful women,’ says Chettri.

Is there still a lack of accepting women in society?

Chettri says, “There are plenty of reasons and detrimental ways the world has not adapted to the coming of women. But we have to start somewhere.” Be it in fashion shows or new modelling agencies, we’ve certainly seen new heroines rise among the Hijras, but women like Chettri would like to try and tackle this in heels and they’re taking one right step at a time.

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This page and next: model Sapna; Bold Modelling Agency; Location Courtesy Mahim Railway Station and Bold Modelling Agency.

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Looking Back “Well, everything is a look, isn’t it? Today I’m bringing sexy back,” says Sapna on a Saturday evening at Bold Modelling Agency; Mumbai, Femalia goes behind-the-scenes at Sapna’s make-up shoot.

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Dressing Against The Norm With

Arman Ayaaz Interview and Portraits by Nishika Prakash -51-

I first encountered Arman Ayaaz on Instagram, her sickeningly beautiful and narcissistic ‘selfies,’ mirrored her reflection as a woman. From denim to feminism, 25-year-old Ayaaz speaks about dressing without any rules.

Arman Ayaaz’s selfies can be found on Instagram @iiarmanisaflowerii

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Dressing against the norm with Arman Ayaaz Tell me a little bit about yourself My name is Arman Ayaaz, you can call me Ayaaz.

I’m from the United States, I was actually born in The Netherlands and raised in Qatar. So, I guess that makes me pretty much foreign! Now, I’m going to study Advertising Design at University and my motto is to ‘dress against the rules.’

When did you start dressing up the way you do?

Well, to be honest, I started dressing up not too long ago. I used to dress up for myself, but it wasn’t to the extent of wearing jewellery and growing my hair. It started off in Qatar and during that time, I had al-

ready been influenced by a lot of cultures. I used to watch Indian television and was surrounded by people from Asia, the Middle East and the West in high school. I knew I was different from my classmates, I loved the idea of dressing up – this is the only aspect that made me stand out. I always asked myself what I could do to be more stylish. I felt a little bit lost, I wanted to fit in and realised that clothes not only talk about culture, but also preserve it, which is very important today, especially for the cultures that are being pushed away due to colonialism, racism and political differences. I let my clothes reflect the person I’ve become and most importantly, I think the way I dress is also a form of protest.

“I let my clothes reflect the person I’ve become and most importantly, I think the way I dress is also a form of protest.”

How do you feel dressing up, the way you do?

That’s a good question. I feel good, I feel really good, however at the same time there’s a little bit of nervousness, because I haven’t experienced homophobia or transphobia yet. I’ve been privileged, because I haven’t been a part of these social stigmas relating to gender. It started off as an escape – suffering from depression. Dressing up made me feel better and it eventually mirrored who I am today and what I stand for. Initially, it seemed like a fantasy - I used to dress up in my room and take ‘selfies,’ just for myself and perhaps this is because I was embarrassed to express my identity and I could never make it a reality.

wore eyeliner in school; I didn’t get much of a positive feedback of course and got teased a lot.

With the openness about LGBT communities, why do you think there’s still a stigma about men dressing as women?

This is the question that I live with everyday. I believe that it has a lot to do with colonialism. My take on this is that, there are clothes that are already named for your ‘gender.’ We still live in a time where we are taught not to cry, we are told to dress and act in a certain way and I just didn’t fit in. When I saw other Hijras, I wanted to be like that so bad, but a part of me was scared to come out dressed like that, because As you come from a multi-ethnic background, my family and friends wouldn’t look at me in the same do you think you’re given the freedom to dress way. I was constantly trying to conceal who I was, but up the way you want to, as opposed to a place I was fed up of shielding myself, I wanted to be free. such as Qatar?

You know what, that’s what made me think that de- The way Hijras dress is often seen as a negspite being able to wear certain things, I had to be ative practice in India, what do you think the careful because they ban transsexuals in Qatar. I think power of female dress means in a male-dommulti-ethnicity starts from your family, it’s not just a inated society such as India? Would you see racial term, but it grooms you into who you are or this as a celebration or a hindrance? what you choose to be and my family didn’t give me If it were to be a celebration, I would say it would be the option to do either of those things. Back home, a personal celebration, because it’s a form of strength they had this stereotype about tall, skinny boys who to be able to accept who you are and the way you dressed in a peculiar way - they were classified as gay choose to dress. When I go out, people ask me, “Why and I never understood why. I was the only boy who I like to be so feminine?” I think when you learn to -53-

Learn to pose with Arman Ayaaz on Instagram @iiarmanisaflowerii

accept and express your femininity to the world, that’s what gives you the power to be yourself. I think there still needs more room for people to feel comfortable and also to accept that this is completely normal.

When you said it’s a way of expressing femininity, which is quite personal to you, have you received any backlash or public humiliation because of the way you dress?

A lot. It mainly came from my family, they didn’t say much. but they acted very indifferent towards me.

One day, my father asked me, “Do you have to dress up like this to express yourself ?” and I said, “Yes, I’m tired of hiding.” I like to tell the world what’s on the inside. Now, I tell everyone that this a part of who I am. I don’t believe that certain clothes should have labels that are male and female. People mis-classify clothes and gender, that’s when social stigmas arise.

for anybody but myself. I receive more compliments from females and I think I make women happy by standing with them, through the way I dress. I know fashion is also about trends, but I do this because I believe in culture and I think being able to preserve culture through clothing is something very personal to me.

As the social stigmas surrounding gender and sexuality continue to develop and as more people become aware and accepting of the latter, do you think there will be a future where a person’s gender won’t be affected by the way they dress?

I’m optimistic about it. However, the question is would society still understand us? I would say they will be forward and accepting, but they won’t be used to us. In the future, I want us to be seen as part of society, as one human race and not as ‘the other one.’

Do you see your persona as part of who you We are still seen as ‘us’ and ‘them.’ It’s not about what are or is it just to show people who you are af- people think of you, but the idea that gender, in any ter being humiliated? form whatsoever, must be accepted. I always say, “My To be honest, there is a big leap of faith, because there thoughts have no gender, so why should yours? I don’t is still fear. But, I’ve accepted that I’m not wearing this care about what anyone thinks or says.”

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Dressing against the norm with Arman Ayaaz

My motto is to dress against the rules.

I was fed up of shielding myself, I wanted to be free.

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I don’t believe that certain clothes should have labels that are male and female.

I think I let my clothes reflect the person I’ve become.

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“We are as normal as anyone else.”

-Laxmi Narayan Tripathi, Hijra, Activist

“I am a girl because I choose to be one, my penis or testicles don’t decide my gender, that’s just a sexual organ.”

-Shabnam, Hijra, Bar Dancer

“I’m the girl, who was born as a boy and has to prove herself everyday that I’m womanly enough for the world.”

-Seeta, Hijra, Chef

Girl Power

“Love yourself, love the woman in you.”

-Sheila, Hijra, Model

“My sexuality is only mine and I have the right to explore it.”

-Pari, Hijra, Wedding Planner

“I feel like a growing woman, but it’s the world that looks at me differently.”

-Alisha, Hijra, Dancer

“Hijra is by choice, not by birth.”

-Dolly Khan, Hijra, Nurse “Gender is nothing, but a word in the dictionary.”

-Rani, Hijra, Activist

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The future is

Femalia

Copyright Š 2017 Nishika V. Prakash Nishika V. Prakash / nishika281@gmail.com / Instagram: @nishikaprakash / +44(0)796 172 3127