Testing 1,2,3

HELP YOUR KIDS DEAL

WITH TEST ANXIETY Exams and quizzes will be back when school reopens— make sure they’re By RONNIE KOENIG ready.

©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM / PROSTOCK-STUDIO F or many students, academic rigor was down during the pandemic, which means there will be some anxiety about getting back to things like real tests (no more open book!).

“Test-taking anxiety is about doubting our test-taking capabilities and our intelligence,” says Talia Filippelli, a psychotherapist and founder of Starr Therapy, based in Hoboken. “There’s that self-doubt: Am I going to pass or fail? I coach children to deliberately choose to believe in themselves,” she says. “We need to cultivate that mental strength by helping kids reflect on their past history. Most students can quickly come up with examples of taking a test in the traditional manner and they did just fine.”

Here are some simple ways you can help prepare your child for exams or pop quizzes that come their way once school starts.

TEACH YOUR KID TO IDENTIFY STRESS TRIGGERS

Kids (and parents) have certainly become familiar with stress over the past year-and-a-half, but when it comes to test-taking, ask kids to pin-point areas of stress. “We ask children to draw a picture of a body and circle the parts that bother them before taking a test,” says Filippelli. “We teach them to become aware of warning signs, like stomachaches, and then practice relaxation techniques to reverse the stress and its physical and emotional impacts. Children learn how to control stressors that were previously controlling them. It’s a powerful confidence-building process.”

DON’T DISMISS YOUR KID’S FEELINGS

“While reassurance is natural and helpful in many situations, it doesn’t help with anxiety,” says Elisa Nebolsine, cognitive behavioral therapist and founder of CBT for Kids in McLean, Virginia and author of The Grit Workbook for Kids: CBT Skills to Help Kids Cultivate a Growth Mindset and Build Resilience. “Get specific. Help the child identify the problem. As a parent, you can ask: What are you most afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen? How likely is it to happen? How would you cope with it if it did?”

HELP PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

“Develop an anxiety scale with your child,” says Nebolsine. “What would be number one, the easiest problem to handle? What would be number ten, the worst? Ask the child to grade the situation producing the anxiety on a scale of one to ten.”

CREATE A STUDY ROUTINE

For older kids, consistent studying at around the same time and in the same place can help them better recall information and become more efficient (versus cramming the night before). Take advantage of study skills resources which are offered at many schools.

HELP YOUR CHILD IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM. AS A PARENT, YOU CAN ASK: WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?

HAVE A ‘DRESS REHEARSAL’

This works for younger kids (and older ones too!) to ease anxiety going into a test. Ask your child to play through what taking the test will be like in their imagination. “Have them play through it like a movie in their mind,” says Filippelli, which allows kids to interact with the thing that’s causing the stress. “Give them a chance to experience it,” she says.

GET BACK TO PREP COURSES

For older students taking tests like the SAT, Filippelli says that the usual preparation action steps—like taking a course or practice tests will help to reduce anxiety. “Control is the antidote to anxiety,” she says.

PRACTICE TAKING FUN, TIMED TESTS AT HOME

For younger kids, start with a one-minute, timed test on a subject that they like, suggests Nebolsine. “Reinforce her behavior with a fun reward, like playing a game. Gradually increase the length of time and difficulty of subject matter. In order for this to be effective, however, the child has to be on board that this is a way of helping her deal with the problem.”

USE RELAXATION TECHNIQUES

Strategies like deep breathing can work wonders, says Nebolsine. “If kids are thinking ‘I’m going to fail,’ those thoughts are slowing them down and they’re not thinking as clearly,” she says. Box breathing, where you breathe in for a count of four, hold a breath for a count of four and then let it out to the count of four, is something she tells kids even Navy SEALs use when they’re in stressful situations. “It’s a way to calm down the limbic system,” she says, noting that kids respond to the fact that even people who are tough and strong utilize these same techniques.

PRIME THEIR BRAINS AND BODIES

In addition to studying, getting regular exercise and eating healthy foods can go a long way to helping your child not only ace the exam but rise to meet a stressful challenge like testtaking. Kids need to get outside move their bodies in nature, says Nebolsine. “Kids have struggled with not getting enough exercise during the pandemic and we know it’s correlated with learning.”

MAKE SURE THEY GET ENOUGH ZZZs

When kids are tired, it’s impossible for them to perform at their highest levels. While sleep schedules may have gone out the window during COVID, it’s essential to get kids back to a good sleep routine. The CDC recommends 9-12 hours a night for school-aged children.

NORMALIZE THE STRUGGLE

For all kids, a reminder that everyone is in the same boat coming back to the rigor of test-taking can be very helpful, says Nebolsine. Students should know their teachers are on the same page and will be taking the challenges of the past year-and-ahalf into consideration, she says. If you have concerns, speak to the teacher about test expectations and any additional resources available to help kids catch up.

CONSIDER PROFESSIONAL HELP

If you feel like you’ve tried everything and your kid is still anxious and underperforming on tests even when she knows her stuff, you may want to consider professional help. Says Filippelli: “Talking over such problems with a professional arms a child with the life skills needed to function well, no matter what happens.”