HELP YOUR KIDS DEAL WITH TEST ANXIETY
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By RONNIE KOENIG
or many students, academic rigor was down during the pandemic, which means there will be some anxiety about getting back to things like real tests (no more open book!). “Test-taking anxiety is about doubting our test-taking capabilities and our intelligence,” says Talia Filippelli, a psychotherapist and founder of Starr Therapy, based in Hoboken. “There’s that self-doubt: Am I going to pass or fail? I coach children to deliberately choose to believe in themselves,” she says. “We need to cultivate that mental strength by helping kids reflect on their past history. Most students can quickly come up with examples of taking a test in the traditional manner and they did just fine.” Here are some simple ways you can help prepare your child for exams or pop quizzes that come their way once school starts.
TEACH YOUR KID TO IDENTIFY STRESS TRIGGERS Kids (and parents) have certainly become familiar with stress over the past year-and-a-half, but when it comes to test-taking,
Exams and quizzes will be back when school reopens— make sure they’re ready.
ask kids to pin-point areas of stress. “We ask children to draw a picture of a body and circle the parts that bother them before taking a test,” says Filippelli. “We teach them to become aware of warning signs, like stomachaches, and then practice relaxation techniques to reverse the stress and its physical and emotional impacts. Children learn how to control stressors that were previously controlling them. It’s a powerful confidence-building process.”
DON’T DISMISS YOUR KID’S FEELINGS “While reassurance is natural and helpful in many situations, it doesn’t help with anxiety,” says Elisa Nebolsine, cognitive behavioral therapist and founder of CBT for Kids in McLean, Virginia and author of The Grit Workbook for Kids: CBT Skills to Help Kids Cultivate a Growth Mindset and Build Resilience. “Get specific. Help the child identify the problem. As a parent, you can ask: What are you most afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen? How likely is it to happen? How would you cope with it if it did?”
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