nicole doan
my los angeles
Dedicated to Uncle Manoling for encouraging my creative endeavors
Lukas Winklerprins once asked me-prior to meeting in person-what my Los Angeles is like, for he had just moved to the city only a few weeks prior. No one had ever asked me before to describe my LA. Had he asked me in 2010 when I first moved to southern California from the Bay Area, I would have told him that A) LA isn’t my city, and B) Los Angeles is an anxiety-inducing, trafficky shit hole with fake-ass people. I probably wouldn’t have said it that way though. I was still fairly mild-mannered back then. Regardless, my description of the city more or less remains the same, but it is also so much more than that. Over the course of seven years, Los Angeles has become my city, my home.
The Cal Poly Pomona years For five arduous years, I experienced the vicissitudes of architecture school. Countless sleepless nights consumed me as I attempted to strive in a world of design to which I initially wasn’t sure I belonged. As I glued together perfectly cut pieces of museum board at four in the morning, my remaining brain power brought me to exhausted thoughts of wanting to be somewhere else besides studio. While I mostly craved the comfort of my own bed, Los Angeles was often on my mind. Throughout the five years during which I lived in Pomona, LA was my getaway, even when I didn’t understand the value of its grime and culture. Particularly during my first three years of college, I endeavored to make weekend plans to visit the beach, Little Tokyo, and LACMA, among myriad other places in LA. Of course, I only allowed myself to afford such pleasures if I didn’t have to chain myself to my studio desk that weekend. Then in my fourth and fifth years of undergrad, I discovered a genuine love for architecture, and I went out of my way to attend Wednesday night lectures at SCI-Arc and to explore glorified buildings in downtown, Silverlake, Hollywood, and Culver City. I experienced these destinations with a fresh pair of eyes and a sense of naivete. The newness of it all excited me. I devoured the feeling and soul of every place I went. At the end of each quick trip, I only craved the city even more. As Los Angeles slowly became part of me, I, in turn, wanted to become a piece of the city.
Explorations inside and outside Los Angeles While I was in school at Cal Poly Pomona, I was always itching to break away from studio to hang out in Los Angeles. Now that I’m here, I can easily visit the Griffith Observatory, the Getty, the beach, and Chris Burden’s Urban Lights at LACMA. As a student, these destinations symbolized a sense of freedom that I first experienced only once I started college. When I was a child, I wasn’t allowed to go outside without adult supervision, and that included my own small, suburban backyard. On top of that, my family isn’t the adventurous type. To say the least, I didn’t go outside much. This probably explains my thirst for freedom and adventure. Sure, exploring LA is great, but there is so much to see and experience in this ever-expanding universe. Why not make the best of my freedom by climbing a mound of painted dirt (Salvation Mountain), hopping over fences to see a Louis Kahn building (Salk Institute), hiking through miles of eclectic boulders and cacti (Joshua Tree), mooning the camera with some girlfriends on a cliff (Zion), or lying down in the soft desert sand to gaze upon the myriad stars that imply the vastness of life and exploration (Death Valley)? As the years in my twenties quickly evade me, why not do seemingly pointless things, if only to experience bliss, beauty, and the sublime?
Los Angeles, my home To some people Los Angeles is the Hollywood sign, the Walk of Fame, the celebrities, or the palm trees. Don’t be fooled by this razzle-dazzle. Just as you or I cannot be defined by our Instagram page alone, the city, too, is more than what meets the eye. Yes, there is glamour, but there are also strip malls, pot holes, traffic, and pornography shoots. However, LA is unashamed of who it is. Los Angeles is often regarded a place of opportunities, maybes, and could-be’s; but it is also the best damn dystopia that movies and reality will give you. It is a sprawling city whose intersections between different ethnic groups and socioeconomic classes strengthen, rather than undermine, its identity. Los Angeles, like its people, is constantly fighting in the efforts of being what it thinks is the best. The city is not always right nor does it always work, but it is undoubtedly self-aware. During the past seven years, I have grown to appreciate LA for what it is in my eyes. Other people may not see what I see, and even if they do, they probably don’t feel the same way about the city. Los Angeles is a difficult place to define. This just happens to be my LA...