Lei - 9 Honolulu

LOS

A symbol of love, friendship, appreciation, and aloha.

For generations, the people of Hawai‘i have used lei to express these emotions, strengthen relationships, and show gratitude. Our roots are set in the islands and, as in the human gesture of gifting someone a lei, extend outward.

FOR THE LGBTQ TRAVELER

In the She Comes with Baggage podcast, On Airplane Mode creators and influencers

Kirstie Pike (left) and Christine Diaz (right), seen visiting Santorini, Greece, explore the highs and lows of their travel experiences as a couple.

Courtesy of: Kirstie Pike and Christine Diaz

President & CEO

JASON CUTINELLA

Publisher Partner/GM - Hawai‘i

JOE V. BOCK

Editor-In-Chief - Lei

MARC GRASER

Managing Designer

TAYLOR NIIMOTO

Designers

ELEAZAR HERRADURA

COBY SHIMABUKURO-SANCHEZ

Senior Photographer

JOHN HOOK

Contributors

EDDIE KIM

MITCHELL KUGA

NICCOLO SERRATT

Images

ALEX AZABACHE

FABIENNE CAMPELLO

MAHINA CHOY-ELLIS

MARY HAMMEL

JOHNNY MILLER

MAXWELL POTH

ZACK S JR

RHONEE ROJAS

JULIA SOLONNA

GABRIEL TOVAR

KHOA TRAN

Global Digital Content and Communications Manager

BRIGID PITTMAN

Digital Production Designer

ARRIANA VELOSO

VP Film

GERARD ELMORE

Filmmakers

BLAKE ABES

ROMEO LAPITAN

ERICK MELANSON

Video Editor

JHANTE IGA

Studio Director/Producer

KAITLYN LEDZIAN

Producer

TAYLOR KONDO

Senior Director, Sales

ALEJANDRO MOXEY

VP Sales

MIKE WILEY

Advertising Director

SIMONE PEREZ

Integrated Marketing Lead

FRANCINE NAOKO BEPPU

Junior Account Executive

RACHEL LEE

Client Services Director

KRISTINE PONTECHA

Operations Director

SABRINE RIVERA

Operations Coodinator

JESSICA LUNASCO

Traffic Manager

SHERI SALMON

Accounts Recievable

GARY PAYNE

Sales Inquiries

SALES@NMGNETWORK.COM

Published by 41 N. Hotel St. Honolulu, HI 96817 nmgnetwork.com

©2024 NMG Network. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reprinted without the written consent of the publisher. Opinions are solely those of the contributors and are not necessarily endorsed by NMG.

ISSN 2578-210X

COMMUNITY

18

EXPERIENCE SEEKER

Connor Gowland is not your typical celebrity jetsetter, proving that the richest experiences come at a price that fits any budget.

22

FABULOUS QUEENS

Hawai‘i drag artists Von Appétit and Blessica Benton think everyone deserves their time in the spotlight to express themselves.

26

SCENE STEALER

Brian Liebson has set his sights on Broadway after touring North America with Wicked.

30

FRUIT FORWARD

The owners of The Ruby Fruit, in Los Angeles’ Silverlake neighborhood, didn’t know they would be pioneers in bringing back the lesbian bar.

36

WEDDING DAYS

Planning the perfect destination wedding comes down to priorities and respect, no matter whether you’re queer or straight.

CULTURE

54

FEELING THE POWER

Sasha Colby is finally being seen on a world stage and showing off the beauty of Hawai‘i after winning RuPaul’s Drag Race as the first trans woman of color.

68

READY NOW

From his early days as a child performer to his current status as a rising star, singer Grant Knoche's journey is a testament to his passion for transcending genres.

74

CULTURE TRIP

With his first cookbook, TikTok star Jon Kung isn’t afraid to get personal and explore growing up as a third-culture kid.

82

THE POWER OF NETFLIX

Thanks to Netflix, Yoshihiro Imai’s confidence in the kitchen has fired up a new fanbase eager to taste his take on the perfect pizza in Kyoto, Japan.

86

HAVE PUN WILL TRAVEL

Eat, Gay, Love author Calum McSwiggan is looking to raise awareness for the queer community through stories that are inspired by an insatiable thrill for discovering the world.

92

NATURAL LOVE

Zack S Jr's journey through photography captures the essence of honesty, connection, and the profound impact of travel on creativity.

EXPLORE

102

WELCOME TO ALL

Nestled on the sun-drenched shores of O‘ahu, The Kahala Hotel & Resort is a haven of understated luxury for discerning travelers looking to escape the ordinary.

110

GLOBAL CITIZENS

In a serendipitous convergence of wanderlust and digital connectivity, travel and social media created a perfect union for influencers Khoa Tran and Rhonee Rojas.

118

FIVE GREAT ESCAPES

Unique places queer travelers should consider when planning future trips.

130

FEELING THAI

A deep dive on YouTube inspired Vin Castillo to book a month-long trip to Thailand and enroll in a massage school in Chiang Mai.

140

WANDERLUST WARRIORS

As travelers of color, the Queer Nomads are on a mission to ensure that no one feels invisible.

Lei TV offers a curated guide to Hawai‘i and other welcoming destinations for the discerning LGBTQ traveler. Its episodic series share diverse stories about the places, passions, and people who make the world unique and worth exploring.

Community

In his book, Queer Spaces: An Atlas of LGBTQ+ Places and Stories, Adam Nathaniel Furman rises to reclaim the overlooked havens designed and cherished by queer individuals. “Queer aesthetics are not limited to a single style but encompass many aspects,” the London-based author tells Lei.

Culture

Creatives reveal to Lei how travel inspires them, including an interior designer in Tampa and Washington, DC; the man behind the signature scent of St. Regis hotels; the founders of On Airplane Mode; and a Hawai‘i-based fashion designer who is influenced by nature.

Explore

Meet adventurous queer influencers who encourage us to explore the world, and check out Lei’s list of Great Escapes, a collection of LGBTQ-friendly destinations we feel are worth experiencing, including cities in Germany, Mexico and South Africa.

Aloha, and mahalo for reading Lei, our voice for the LGBTQ traveler.

I’ve been thinking about this line by Charlie Mackesy, in The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse: “Imagine how we would be if we were less afraid.”

It might be from a children’s book, but the sentiment is an important one, especially for those who are afraid of getting out of their comfort zones to explore the world.

Yes, travel can seem daunting. Visiting a place you’ve never been, where you don’t know the language, are somewhat familiar with the culture, and unsure how you’ll be accepted as a queer traveler can be anxiety inducing.

Yet travel is more often than not incredibly insightful, enriching and exhilarating. It can inspire you to be a better person, open your eyes to new ways of thinking, and establish new relationships.

In this issue, you’ll meet an incredible group of inspiring people—including RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Sasha Colby, Detroit-based Chef Jon Kung, influencer Connor Gowland and author Calum McSwiggan—who faced their fears and went on journeys of discovery and self-exploration. All have a similar story of discomfort. All have the same life hack: Make it happen with an open mind.

Los Angeles-based fitness and wellness influencer Vin Castillo feels there there should be a word to explain a feeling of “being in a foreign country, assimilating to their customs and norms, figuring out

how to communicate, finding charm in unassuming places, really taking yourself out of that element of comfort.”

The word he’s looking for is, in fact, travel.

Going anywhere for the first time gives Hawaii-based photographer Zack S Jr the feeling of “finding a new tide pool amplified by 100,” he says. “Your senses are reborn and hyper sensitive to all things new. It can be super intimidating but I just find it as another opportunity to connect and learn more about yourself.”

“Travel opens your eyes to different cultures,” says model and influencer Khoa Tran. “It teaches you communication skills, how to problem solve, patience and empathy. It gives you confidence, independence and freedom.”

Don’t let travel scare you away. Because wouldn’t it be great if we all were less afraid?

Marc Graser Editor-in-Chief, Lei

@leiculture

LeiTravel.com

Eddie Kim is a journalist based in San Francisco, California, and was most recently a features writer with MEL Magazine, covering stories on masculinity, identity and social conflict. His work has also been published in VICE, Slate and The Guardian. He profiled Chef Jon Kung for this issue.

Mitchell Kuga, who profiled the rising profile of Sasha Colby in this issue, is a freelance journalist from Honolulu, Hawai'i, where he currently lives with his husband Adam and his dog Diesel Kau Kau Lexapro Kuga. His work has appeared in GQ, Billboard, T Magazine, and Condé Nast Traveler, among others, and he is a recipient of the Excellence in Online Journalism Award from NLGJA: The Association of LGBTQ Journalists. Photo by Akilah Callahan.

Maxwell Poth, who photographed this issue’s feature of RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Sasha Colby in Los Angeles, is a renowned LGBTQ+ artist, activist, and advocate. He is the founder of the incredible non-profit, Project Contrast. Last year, he released his first book of photography and queer stories entitled Young Queer America: Real Stories and Faces of LGBTQ+ Youth. He has dedicated his career to amplifying marginalized voices and advocating for equality and justice through his work. Maxwell's commitment to fostering safe and inclusive spaces has led to significant advancements in LGBTQ+ rights and representation. Through his creative endeavors and advocacy work, Maxwell continues to inspire and empower individuals worldwide.

Niccolo Serratt, who spent time with London power couple The Queer Nomads, up-and-coming singer Grant Knoche, and author and queer travel influencer Calum McSwiggan for this issue, is a Barcelonabased freelance writer, he embodies the spirit of curiosity and adventure. When he's not immersed in the vibrant streets of Barcelona, Niccolo's insatiable wanderlust takes him to far-flung corners of the world, seeking out untrodden paths and hidden treasures. He is a dedicated LGBTQ+ activist that strives to make a positive impact and empower marginalized communities through his articles.

Joey Thao is a wardrobe stylist originating from Los Angeles. His experience kaleidoscopes the span of costume design, music videos, red carpet, commercials, and editorial. With over 12 years working in the entertainment industry, he has the pleasure of working with a variety of celebrities from the likes of Paris Hilton, Ariana Grande, Blackpink, Christina Aguilera, Thalía, Becky G, Bretman Rock and Nikita Dragun. Joey's portfolio of costume design has allowed his work to be on iconic stages of Coachella, The Grammys, VMAs, Billboard Music Awards, Latin AMAs, and The iHeartRadio Music Awards. With an unwavering dedication to his craft and a relentless pursuit of perfection, Joey continues to shape the visual identity of whoever he works with, leaving a special mark on every project he touches.

MAXWELL POTH

JOEY THAO

EDDIE KIM

MITCHELL KUGA

NICCOLO SERRATT

I.

Community

Face to face with those who hope to open up the conversation on identity and community

Connor Gowland is not your typical celebrity jetsetter. Proving that the richest experiences come at a price that fits any budget, he thrives on the thrill of the unknown, seeking out hidden gems that enable him to explore more, spend less.

“I used to think it would be impossible for me to explore the Greek Islands,” says the Massachusettsnative, who lives in West Hollywood, but after finding the cheapest flights he had ever seen online, he “took the opportunity to make it happen.”

“Honestly, I am motivated by the prospect of experiencing five-star travel on a two-star budget. I don’t make a ton of money. I have student loans. However, I pride myself on my ability to find ways to make these grand trips happen. Even if you’re flying in the 40th row of a plane in the middle seat while hungover, there is always a way.”

Connor’s recent travels have taken him to Yosemite and the quaint California coastal town of Monterey for the first time, where he and his partner Paul rented a beach house via home swapping app Kindred. It was their first trip to the area where they explored Sequoia National Park, Kings Canyon National Park and Big Sur together with Connor’s dog, Olive.

“I love being creative, and I love having the ability to make my own schedule and be remote so that I can work from anywhere,” says the multi-hyphenate who epitomizes what it means to work in the entertainment industry these days. He has built a considerable online following who track his trips to the world’s most iconic destinations, or track his fitness journey. He also acts, models, and provides voice overs for video games and edits videos for casting companies.

“It’s cliché, but when I am feeling overwhelmed in LA, I always try to go somewhere new in order to gather my thoughts and take a step back from daily stresses. Travel has taught me that there is kindness and beauty in every place you go if you keep your mind open to it.”

Connor’s adventures aren't just about escaping the limelight; they fuel his creativity. The faces he encounters, the stories he absorbs, and the challenges he overcomes all become fodder for his craft, enriching his portrayals with an authenticity no amount of research can replicate.

“Traveling expands your mind, seeing how others live,” Connor says. “It allows you to leave your normal life and come back with a new perspective. There is something special about every place. There is always a new person to meet, or experience to have.”

But Connor can’t stray too far from the crowds. “I love being somewhere where I can meet people,” he says. “I am a big explorer. My big thing is seeing something totally new everywhere I go. I love seeing the nightlife that different places offer and connecting with other travelers or locals. I love biking the coast of Ajaccio and also exploring the clubs of Ibiza.”

One of Connor’s proudest moments so far was being a contestant on The Late Late Show With James Corden, during a segment of “Late Late Live Tinder,” where he was paired up with pro-soccer player Collin Martin.

“Being on network television, on a gay dating segment, was something my teenage self would have never imagined doing in a million years, and I think I made him proud,” Connor says.

Connor’s favorite destinations include Kaua‘i, Hawai‘i, and Sonora, California. “It is the quintessential small American town with the charm to match,” he says. But for him, Santorini, Greece, is a must-visit. “It is like living in a painting,” he says. “We took a catamaran tour around the coast, and vibed so much with the crew that they asked us to stay and work on the tour boat! I regret not taking that opportunity because, man, it truly is one of the coolest places I have ever been, if not the coolest. One day I’ll go back and take them up on a job.”

Two Hawai‘i drag artists think everyone deserves their time on stage to express themselves.

“Paris Hilton once said, ‘If you’re not having fun then just leave,” and those are words I live by,” says Von Ka‘anā‘anā, a drag artist who grew up in Lā‘ie, O‘ahu, and performs under the playfully brilliant name of Von Appétit. “In my life I have a lot of roles that I play but I’m always the same person no matter the context and so at a minimum I give 110% of myself in anything I choose to do. If I’m not having fun I choose to do something else and that’s really what ensures my satisfaction in life.”

Von’s significant other Tony Dia, a photographer, filmmaker, and fellow drag performer known as Blessica Benton, shares that same creative lust for life. Tony, who grew up in Alaska, is producing the drag love story, I Am, at The University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa, and is drawn to the power of film and “projects that are queer, brown, and fabulous, and shine a light on vibrant, colorful communities hidden in plain sight.” The short film “is a love letter to the feeling of a first experience. Whether it’s your first performance, your first friendship, or your first love… this short film aims to capture the magic of a first. That is something that connects us all, no matter who or where you are.”

Tell us about your drag personas. What inspired you to take on those identities?

von I am the same person in and out of drag, so I love when a queen name is a play on words or something not so serious. Von Appétit is a strong, confident, intelligent, charismatic, succubus with a sense of humor and an insatiable appetite. She does everything Von does just in a stiletto. I identify as Māhū. I express Kū and Hina energy. My gender is completely fluid, and like the ocean, is affected by the lunar phase. When the moon is full I’m called to drag, kinda like a gender werewolf.

tony My drag persona Blessica Benton came from a list of popular Filipino girl names. I found it endearing because: 1. Filipinos love a quirky play on names and 2. It’s very fitting of my devout Catholic upbringing. The name Benton comes from the Haus of Benton, a drag family I was extremely blessed to have been born into. My haus mother, Jerrica Benton, gave birth to me when she painted me for a local ball. That same night, I earned tens across the board, brought home a trophy, and thus began the age of Blessica.

How would you describe the drag scene right now?

von I’m really enjoying the current state of drag at the moment. Anybody can be a drag artist. I think everyone deserves their time on stage to express themselves. I was a drama kid at Kahuku High School performing The Sound of Music in the cafeteria, so living my adult life on a stage is honestly a dream come true!

How would you like to see drag grow?

von I would like to see more Drag Kings on stage. Honestly, I feel like that’s what’s missing in Hawai‘i. I would like for there to be more opportunities for our Kūpuna Drag Goddesses to take the stage again and ‘show us keeds a ting or two yah?’ I’m lucky to be a part of a multi-generational Banyon tree of a drag legacy and I see how the younger gen struggles to find their path without that type of connection. They have a lot to learn from our Kūpuna. Support your local queens! Aunty Sasha just won RuPaul’s Drag Race! Hawai’i queens slay!

tony Like Von, I would also like to see more Drag Kings. I’ve noticed that in Alaska, there has been a surge in Drag Kings. I lived in Juneau for a few years and became friends with some of them. One of the local Juneau drag queens, Gigi Monroe, has been actively pushing to make a space for them. I really admire that and hope to see more of that here.

Where are some of your favorite clubs and what makes them unique?

von Scarlet Honolulu, sometimes referred to as ‘Scarlets,’ is my home club where I gogo and perform in drag every First Friday with the Haüs of the Party Monsters. The Party Monsters create themed parties to

challenge your inner club kid. I am our stage set designer, so it is my job to provide context for our concepts.

Tony Tapa’s Waikiki is where the Kama‘ainā stay! Our Papa Mono of Haüs Von Wolfgang provides a safe space for the local queens to “give ‘em.” It’s a very queer atmosphere and that’s what I find is missing in a lot of LGBTQIA+ spaces nowadays.

What’s your favorite thing to do when visiting a destination for the first time?

von Food tour! I feel like you can learn a lot about a location based on its cuisine. I like to get a sense of their tastes, seasonings, flavors and apply that to expanding my worldview.

Where have you been that really surprised you?

von Don’t hate me but New York City. I’m someone that really loves fashion and my first time in New York City was actually during Pride so the city was very alive. The thing that I was shocked by was the size of the buildings. Nothing is taller than Diamond Head, in Hawai‘i, so seeing a building that was 100 floors plus was kind of jarring. What surprised me the most, though, is the smell of the city. Need I say more?

tony Honestly, my first time visiting Hawai‘i was my biggest surprise. I grew up whitewashed due to being raised in a predominantly white community and the culture shock I experienced here was very intense. I had to unlearn a lot of internalized prejudice and self-hate. The celebration and pride of culture here is very inspiring.

This story has been edited for length and clarity. Read the full interview with Von and Tony online on LeiTravel.com.

Brian Liebson did what a lot of people never do: get their robotics engineering degree. Then he did something completely different, and just as unattainable for many: he toured the country performing in Hamilton.

“Everybody wants to be in Hamilton,” says the Manhattan Beach, California native, who now lives in New York City pursuing a career on Broadway. “I love L.A., but NYC is the place to be for musical theater.”

As an actor, Brian has traveled across the United States and Canada on the National Tours of Hamilton, Miss Saigon and Cinderella, where he performed on various stages including New York’s Radio City Music Hall and Honolulu’s Neal S Blaisdell Center. He can also be seen in several music videos, including Olivia Rodrigo’s Sour Prom, and will appear in a short dance film by choreographer Josh Zacher.

Brian grew up watching shows at the Pantages Theater in Hollywood, so when Miss Saigon booked several dates there, he fulfilled a dream to perform on stage in front of friends and family. “That was pretty incredible,” he says.

Landing Hamilton, one of Broadway’s biggest blockbusters, was no easy feat, of course. “I had been auditioning for the show for several years,” Brian says. “I understudied every role. I demonstrated that I was capable of doing that, which few people can do. It was a tremendous effort with an insane amount of work that very few people will ever truly understand.

“Hamilton is definitely one of my favorite shows that I’ve gotten the opportunity to

perform,” he adds. “It is a long, intense show, with a lot of words and a lot of choreography. Every show feels like a huge accomplishment once we get to the bows, and the audiences always love it, which makes our jobs onstage easier and more fulfilling.”

Brian has always been ambitious, finding inspiration in his own drive to represent and diversify what he’s found to be a whitecentric career. “I feel strong obligations to push myself to be my best so I can be out there to make space for future generations. Being hapa (of Asian and/or Pacific Islander descent), there are already few Asians on stage, and even less that look like me. I’m inspired to create a future where we can really diversify the stage.” Brian’s heritage is half-Japanese, half-German.

Performing for 17 years, and professionally for eight, Brian has long had a love for theater, even while studying for his Bachelors of Science in Robotics Engineering from Olin College, in Needham, Massachusetts. “Life finds a way, and in every setting of my life, I’ve continued to find opportunities to perform whether it be professionally or in volunteer community theater,” he says. “I love the community effort to make a group project for people to enjoy. It’s beautiful.”

In case Brian wasn’t ambitious enough, he launched his own clothing brand, David Swimwear, out of a response to his

WORDS BY MARC GRASER

IMAGE COURTESY OF BRIAN LIEBSON

frustrations of finding high quality, simple, classy swimwear made of eco-friendly and responsible materials. “My goal was to provide for others what I was searching for myself,” he says.

But musical theater remains Brian’s true passion. Wicked is his favorite show because it’s a “perfectly constructed musical with incredible sets, costumes, design, choreography, performances, and direction.”

Brian has spent four years touring three times since 2016, and calls it “the best and worst experience of your life,” due to grueling schedules. “Sometimes we arrive into the city at 4 p.m., drop off bags at the hotel and shower, then head to the theater for one show,” he says. “Then we’ll get up at 6 a.m. and drive to the next city. That’s hard. Other times, we have a full week, or even a full month, or even six months.”

Still, he finds time to explore any city he’s in. “I am a big proponent of trying anything once, so I am sometimes overly ambitious about trying to do everything that I can,” he says. That could mean architecture boat tours, scuba diving, corn mazes, rodeos, even standing on the edge of Toronto’s tallest tower.

When Brian does get some downtime, he always checks Groupon. “It usually gives me good suggestions of what sights I should prioritize seeing and what other people are looking for in each city,” he says. “I usually try to find a gay bar and go make friends with the locals. I always try to support the local drag scene in every city.”

Of the places Brian has visited, Louisville, Kentucky, impressed him the most. “I swear it has the best gay bar in the world, Play Louisville (the better bar to its sister Play Nashville). Incredible drag, incredible venue, and incredible guys.”

He also recommends Capilano Suspension Bridge Park, in Vancouver, a city he describes as “a beautiful, more modern and homely mix of Seattle and Chicago”

that has incredible hiking and nature. But Honolulu remains his favorite city. “Growing up in LA, I’m a huge fan of any body of water,” he says. “Hawai‘i has the best food, scuba diving, and snorkeling. I actually have a deep connection to Hawaii, and have visited many times in my life. It is my favorite place in the world.”

Since most theaters are located in urban centers, Brian will often find time to explore the outdoors. “I try to get outside as much as possible,” he says. “It’s hard to spend so much time inside a dark theater, so I think it’s healthy to get outside and get your mind off of your work sometimes.”

He understands the privilege of getting to see North America on tour. “Travel opens your mind, and makes you a more empathetic person,” he says. “I think travel reminds us all of how small we are, and how small our entire world can be sometimes. It’s always good to really zoom out and remind yourself that sometimes your problems are very small compared to grander things in the world. When I travel, I am reminded of the beauty in details, which I can then bring back to my own life to reset what I pay attention to.”

On his bucket list is seeing the Northern Lights one day. “It’s been my dream my entire life, and I know I’ll get to see them one day,” he says. For now, Brian will just have to settle for the lights of Broadway.

The Ruby Fruit has been heralded as the return of the lesbian bar in Los Angeles, a city that hadn’t had one since 2017. The impact its owners have made in a neighborhood that was once called the “Swish Alps,” has surprised even them.

WORDS BY MARC GRASER IMAGES COURTESY OF THE RUBY FRUIT

People have been talking about the lack of lesbian bars in the United States since they started closing in record numbers in the 1990’s and early 2000’s. “As a lesbian, of course it made me sad to think that the lesbian bar was some kind of dying breed of institution, and there was definitely a noticeable absence in Los Angeles,” says Emily Bielagus, a New Hampshire, who spent 15 years in New York City before moving to LA in 2020.

“I was shocked when I came to LA and noticed that the city was truly swamped with lesbians, and there were a ton of really successful lesbian parties, but we had no specific, permanent space to call our own,” she adds.

The Ruby Fruit, which Bielagus opened in Los Angeles’ Silverlake neighborhood with Mara Herbkersman, originally from Baltimore but an L.A. native since 2004, was instantly heralded as the return of the lesbian bar. Technically, the two owners like to call it “a wine bar for the sapphically inclined.”

“The queer community was very thirsty!” Bielaga says. “I don’t think Mara and I intended to make this level of impact—we just wanted to create a space that prioritized and centered the Sapphic community, because that was the kind of place we craved.”

A classically trained actor, Herbkersman ran production companies, but quit to cook professionally in 2012. She had worked in restaurants since she was 16 years old. “Turns out running sets and running restaurants is the same job,” she says. “I’m a musician, which means I actually worked in restaurants,” Bielagus jokes.

The two met while working at Eszett, the former restaurant that occupied The Ruby Fruit’s space. Together, they threw queer parties at Eszett dubbed LEszett, and sold hot dogs and natural wine from Herbkersman’s 1984 VW Westfalia van. The Ruby Fruit was a daydream. Eszett closed on January 31, 2023. The Ruby Fruit opened February 16. They flipped the restaurant in two weeks. “Emily and I were both at the point in our lives where we needed to sink our teeth into something that was our own,” Herbkersman says. “While it was a huge risk, it felt like if we could keep it together, that we could pull it off.”

Pulling it off is Herbkersman’s proudest moment. “I feel really proud when my family comes to visit,”

she says, “I always felt like I disappointed them by not pursuing the thing that I thought I was meant to do for a long time. When I told them I was finally opening my own restaurant, I don’t think they totally grasped what that meant until they came to visit. Owning The Ruby Fruit is the greatest accomplishment of my life so far.”

The bar is known for its “iconic” hot dog, and The Martha, a sparkling wine spritzer, named after Herbkersman’s stepmother, who taught her how to spritz. “We sell so many we joke that we own a spritz bar not a wine bar,” she says.

Bielagus and Herbkersman never intended to make a statement with The Ruby Fruit, affectionately called The Roob. “We dreamed up the bar that we personally needed and its abundantly clear, we weren’t the only ones,” Bielagus says. “I feel really grateful for the opportunity to offer a younger generation a place where they can feel comfortable coming into themselves and maybe the chance to do it before I was able to.”

How did you come up with the name?

eb The name is an homage to Rita Mae Brown’s 1973 lesbian novel Rubyfruit Jungle. In addition to being an obvious nod to a very seminal work of lesbian fiction, our name has lots of double entendres. A rubycolored fruit could be a red grape, which is used to make wine, and we are a wine bar after all. Gay people have been called “fruits” as an insult, but we wear the moniker proudly. It also evokes sensuality and a level of sophistication and sexiness, and that’s what we were going for.

Why Silverlake? How would you describe the neighborhood to people who have never been there?

eb This is definitely one of those instances where opportunity and preparedness intersected.

Mara and I were preparing to open a Sapphic bar, and actively looking for spaces, when this one sort of fell into our laps. It’s perfect. I love telling people that Silverlake used to be called The Swish Alps (in the 70’s), because it’s a very hilly neighborhood that was known for its artsy, queer inhabitants.

mh Opening The Ruby Fruit in Silverlake was by chance and because of opportunity, but selfishly, I always wanted to own my business in Silverlake because this is where I live. Living where I work is a privilege. Silverlake has always been the hub of art and cool and queer in my mind. It felt diverse both racially and socioeconomically and a lot of my social life tended toward this part of town. Things have changed, and Silverlake has become really expensive, commercial, and much whiter. But we hope to hang on as a small business in a neighborhood that has changed and will continue to.

How would you describe the vibe in LA right now?

eb LA right now feels young, artsy, edgy, and very, very, VERY gay. Everyone’s queer and poly. I love it.

How do you want people to feel when they come to The Ruby Fruit?

eb We want our guests to feel sexy, to feel seen, and to feel safe. We also hope to provide a moment for a little luxury, a little “treat yourself”, a little celebration, and a

big respite from the absolute hell of what’s happening at work, on our phones, and in the news.

mh We are dedicated to giving folks a ‘home’. We want a place they always feel comfortable stumbling in at any time of day. We joke it's like Cheers but it couldn’t be more true. The Ruby Fruit is the place where everyone knows your name and everybody knows your ex!

What inspires you?

mh I am constantly inspired by the guests who come into the restaurant who tell us they’ve traveled from other parts of the country or even from other parts of the world. If I’m ever having a bad day, meeting someone who made such a huge effort to come visit reminds me of why this place is so important.

Planning the perfect wedding comes down to priorities and respect, no matter whether you’re queer or straight.

“I tell people all the time that you'll never not remember your first queer wedding that you've been to because it is the most fun,” says Zabrina Zablan, an event planner and co-founder of The Gay Agenda Collective. “It's stripped down at its core and about two people who absolutely are obsessed with one another and love each other. You can feel it.”

With an estimated 16,000 queer weddings taking place across the Hawaiian Islands each year, Zabrina and her team have built a successful business around working with couples who don't want a conventional wedding ceremony, and desire more autonomy in the choices they make.

“That’s how they find us,” Zabrina says. “We’ve been able to be very meticulous on the clientele that we bring on because we’ve been able to build our brand to exude that notion of non-traditional and queering the lines. If that's not what they're looking for, this is an oversaturated industry; I have a lot of colleagues that I know they'll work great with.”

Out of the 72 weddings TGA produced in 2023, 47 of them were queer. Typically, half of its weddings are for LGBTQ+ couples. As of February, the company had already booked 50 weddings, with the goal to get to 100 by the end of the year.

Nearly half of TGA’s clients fly in from California— the Bay Area or Southern California—followed by New York, Mexico, and the Midwest.

As the first native Hawaiian and first queer person to sit on the board of the Oahu Wedding Association, and chair the Honolulu pride Festival, Hawaii’s largest

WEDDING TIPS

When you think of a wedding, especially in Hawai‘i, it’s an over-stylized event, but Zabrina encourages clients of The Gay Agenda to think outside the box and explore what the wedding represents. “Why are you doing this,” Zabrina asks. “Strike all the florals, strike all the fancy napkins. At its core, it's about you and the people who love and surround you. Be really mindful right from the start. Understanding what’s important is key. Just sit down and get on the same page. Literally write out what you both want. You don't have to agree on everything, but you should kind of have an idea of what your budget is going to be,” as well as the following helpful tips:

MEET THE TALENT

Think about who your vendors are and “really take time in interviewing them just as much as they're interviewing you and feel competent in your choices because they are going to have such an integral part on your day,” Zabrina says. The Gay Agenda has a pre-vetted list of vendors that have gone through the company’s allyship and inclusivity training. “I've always said that a wedding planner is the author and the photographer is the illustrator,” Zabrina adds. Make sure these are solid people. “Making sure that your vendors have really good articulation with one another is good, too.”

LGBTQ+ event, Zabrina is on a mission to do business with a community that she feels has long been ostracized by the wedding industry. “It’s a great responsibility for me,” she says.

Rough Start

The Gay Agenda started in 2018, when Zabrina and her wife, Ipolani Duvauchelle, started the process of planning their own wedding. It wasn’t easy. “Our experience was so difficult,” says Zabrina, whose background is not as an event planner; she studied to become a physical therapist, but quickly realized that wasn’t the best fit for her future.

“We had a lot of situations where we had to continuously come out to our vendors,” Zabrina says, adding that the two were misgendered and lost vendors weeks leading up the special day “because they realized we were a queer couple.”

The experience left a sour taste in Zabrina’s mouth—so much so that she actually spent a year cleansing her palette working in a restaurant in Pasadena. She would move to the events side of the business and kept having this feeling that Hawaii was going to turn into a new queer destination for weddings. “Folks were looking for something that was still pretty tropical but within a reasonable amount of travel time,” she says. “I told my wife I think we have to move home; I think that's actually where we are supposed to be. I felt like there was a hole in the industry that wasn’t being filled.”

Six years later, Zabrina and Ipolani are based on the west side of O‘ahu, in Kapolei, where they run The Gay Agenda. The two met at Azusa Pacific University, and lived in Pasadena for eight years.

Mission Focused

While weddings are an important business, The Gay Agenda is starting to expand into more corporate and other events. That’s why the name of the company isn’t so focused on nuptials in a punny kind of way.

“We kept it really loose because I knew that one day TGA would evolve outside of the wedding space and eventually move into the event space as a whole,” says Zabrina, who ultimately wants to invest in smaller queer-owned businesses in Hawaii and make them part of the collective.

It’s also about making a statement. “We’ve always lived pretty radically, my wife and I, and it’s always been about this idea of pushing my agenda. Weddings have always been that means to an end of being able to get to that point.”

Zabrina likes to say that her staff of 10 are “wedding planners on a mission to help those who don't fit into the norms of what a wedding looks like,” she says. That goal has attracted non-queer couples as well who are looking to support LGBTQ+-owned businesses, and are non-traditional in their own respects, too.

“You’ve got to have a mission behind why you do something,” Zabrina says. “That is something people are looking for, especially in the queer community. They want to support people who have something that they're fighting for and pushing the pendulum forward a little bit.”

Time to Evolve

When she conducts allyship or inclusivity training with local wedding vendors, “folks who’ve been in this industry 10 to 20-plus years are not interested in trying to evolve,” Zabrina says.

CONSIDER

YOUR GUEST LIST

Be mindful who you want to attend, because that can become costly. “Work together on who you want to be surrounding you folks on the day,” Zabrina advises. Come up with an A, B, and C list, where the A-list “are the people that you literally cannot have this wedding without,” Zabrina says. B-lists are people that you would love to be there, and C-lists are “are folks who are like your cousin’s boyfriend you’ve never met.” It gives good context for who you want surrounding on the day. “When you’re looking at your guest list, look at your wedding party, too.”

THE PRICE OF PARADISE

Understand that a destination wedding comes with a higher price, depending on where you are, but especially Hawai‘i. “I think for a lot of our couples, they don't know where Hawai‘i sits on the totem pole of how expensive things are,” says Zabrina, noting that many online wedding calculators are skewed because they include the Midwest, “where you can get married for a bag of chips and about $500. Understanding the market is really helpful. I’m always asking the reason behind wanting to come to Hawai‘i and bring essentially 100 to 150 of your favorite people all the way over here.”

With the marriage of Tapu and Alika, The Gay Agenda wanted to showcase a stripped down wedding of two grooms surrounded by friends in a relaxed backyard setting. “When you think of a Hawai‘i wedding, you sometimes think of over-stylization,” says TGA co-founder Zabrina Zablan. “It doesn't really look like a typical wedding but it’s still a wedding with a chosen family.” Featured: Jewelry by Maui Divers, guest aloha wear by LexBreezy, and Kini Zamora on the grooms.

PHOTO ESSAY

It’s frustrating for Zabrina because representation matters. Around 89% of queers couples planning a wedding will see if a vendor has other queer couples in their portfolio or on their social media feeds. And 91% will ask if they've worked with queer couples in the past.

In her role with the Oahu Wedding Association, Zabrina often finds herself trying to get the 160 vendors that are members to think about the why behind their businesses. “Is it truly just to make money because weddings are so lucrative, or is there a reason behind why they love weddings?” Zabrina asks. “Saying you do gay weddings because you like gay people is not enough to support an entire community who’s been ostracized in this industry. You have to do a little bit more. Queer couples are not different, we just don’t fall into the normalities that you have in the wedding industry.”

The wedding business is a machine, Zabrina admits. “It completely is,” she says. “It’s hard to make changes, but it’s also not that hard, either. You can do it. We have to evolve.”

The traditional wedding program needs to be customized. Little changes that go a long way include making forms gender neutral, or changing the way you speak to clients. Not everyone’s a bride and groom. “These people are paying you thousands of dollars to be here,” Zabrina stresses. “If you don’t care about people at all, care about the numbers. Queer people historically spend more money on their weddings than their straight counterparts.”

While the pushback Zabrina often gets is “‘This is the way it’s always been done,’ that feels so final and it doesn’t give any room for evolution or change,” says Zabrina, who doesn’t believe resistance comes from vendors thinking queer people don’t deserve a space at the table. “I think it's this belief that they already have one. Most people want to do better.”

Without change, Zabrina argues, how things are done now will just trickle down and be embraced by employees who may later continue the business or start their own.

“I've told my whole team that one day I'm going to become obsolete,” she says. “I'm going to be that old woman who no longer wants to grow anymore, and that's where you folks come into play.”

II. Culture

Exploring the creative arts, intellectual achievements and thought provoking beliefs of inspiring minds

After being crowned “America’s Next Drag Superstar” when she won RuPaul’s Drag Race as the first trans woman of color and a Native Hawaiian, Sasha Colby is finally being seen on a world stage and showing off the beauty of Hawai‘i to a growing fanbase.

WORDS BY MITCHELL KUGA

IMAGES BY MAXWELL POTH

STYLING BY JOEY THAO

From the second Sasha Colby sashayed into the workroom on the season 15 premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race, there was little doubting her status as “your favorite drag queen’s favorite drag queen.” Looking every bit the polynesian warrior princess, with a temporary tattoo of the Hawaiian islands running up her thigh and Māori poi balls hanging from a black malo, no introduction was needed. The other contestants shrieked in excitement—“Is that Sasha Colby?!”—before shaking in their boots. “Should we go home?” one of them asked, to a peal of nervous laughter. They all did eventually, as Sasha advanced week after week, seemingly strolling her way to the crown. She’d make history in the process, as both the first Kanaka Maoli contestant on the show and the first trans queen to win a regular season (her friend, Kylie Sonique Love, won All Stars 6). But was winning the competition as easy as she made it look?

“Absolutely not,” Sasha says, ten months into her reign (“and only two mental breakdowns later,” she quips). “It wasn’t easy at all.” Aside from competing in a grab bag of challenges—which demanded moshing as a heavy metal grandma one week, then embodying a sexy extraterrestrial video vixen the next—she points to the mental hurdles of starring on a reality television show. “You have to have a personality and brand yourself while not getting caught up in your head, which is really hard,” she says.

A daily meditation practice and pulling tarot cards for the cast and crew helped keep her grounded on set. “It was a weird social experiment,” she says, “and you’re not around your loved ones.”

Prior to Drag Race, Sasha, who grew up in Waimanalo, O‘ahu, and currently lives in Los Angeles, wasn’t a stranger to high-stakes competition. In 2012, she won Miss Continental, the premiere transinclusive drag pageant. But after doing drag for twenty years, what encouraged her to finally apply was seeing other trans contestants, like GottMik and her drag daughter Kerri Colby, flourish on the show.

“Watching Kerri be that girl and walk into season 14 and be outwardly trans on her first entry—that was really groundbreaking,” Sasha says. “It allowed trans women all over to feel like they could have that dream.”

She pauses for a beat, though, before revealing her true motivation for auditioning: “Kerri could not be the most famous Colby. That wasn’t going to happen.”

Sasha didn’t comprehend the significance of her history-making run until she was standing on stage at The Theater at the Ace Hotel in Los Angeles, filming the show’s finale. At the time, she recalls being struck by the rampant rise in anti-trans legislation and anti-drag rhetoric in America. “That’s when I understood why the universe called me at this time. Why I could be of most use,” says Sasha, 39, “Because twenty years from now, when you look back at history, you’re going to see all this rhetoric, but you’re also going to see queer joy in the same timeline.”

Stripped, Sasha’s one woman show, is a testament to that joy. She toured the production across the United States and Canada this spring, including a sold-out finale at the Hawai‘i Theater in April, traveling to 22 cities in the span of a grueling six weeks. RuPaul’s Drag Race had previously taken her across North America, Europe, Australia and the Philippines.

Though catching sleep was difficult, “I’ve always loved traveling,” she says. “I love going to different places. I love meeting new people, seeing different cultures and sharing what Hawai‘i has to offer— the aloha spirit.”

After taking countless flights since winning, she’s got traveling down to a science: a good eye mask, a giant coat that doubles as a blanket, and history podcasts, like Noble Blood, downloaded and ready. “I’m a history nerd,” she says, “And I love facts. I would kick ass on Jeopardy.”

For Stripped, in order to animate the inner-workings of her brain, Sasha worked with choreographers Mark Kanemura and Brandi Chun, friends she grew up dancing with at Kaneohe’s 24-7 Danceforce Studio when she was a teenager. “It’s a collective effort to make Sasha Colby,” she says. “I just get to be the one to present it.” Though each had their respective glow-ups on competition-based reality shows—Mark as a contestant

on So You Think You Can Dance, and Brandi as the winner of Netflix’s Dance 100—Sasha says working together felt like being kids in Hawai’i again. “I just wanted to relive that energy, that youth, when we were just having fun and had nothing to lose,” she says. The only difference, she maintains, is that “now everyone gotta buy tickets instead of telling us to stop dancing at the bus stop.”

Last October, Sasha served as grand marshall for the Honolulu Pride Parade, which snakes through the heart of Waikīkī and culminated in her lip syncing a high-octane, hair-flipping Beyoncé medley onstage at the Waikiki Shell. She called her first trip home since winning Drag Race “healing,” and was particularly touched to celebrate Pride in Hawai’i with her “trans sisters” and fellow drag performers Sonique, Laganja Estranja, and Kerri. “We had a big pā‘ina at Zabalan’s [beach] in Nānākuli and it was literally four generations of māhū trans women and queer people in the hugest circle doing drag numbers for each other, doing old school Viva Tropicana gender bender lip gloss review,” she says. “It was heartwarming. It was beautiful. That’s the best part of coming home.”

Growing up in the Hawaiian homesteads of Waimanalo with green eyes, fair skin, and blonde hair, and being raised by parents who were strict Jehovah’s Witnesses, Hawai‘i didn’t always feel so welcoming for Sasha. “There was a lot of self-monitoring as a kid. A lot of ‘Eh, don’t stand like that’ or ‘Tuck your hips in’ or ‘Don’t talk like that,’” she says. “So it was constantly being told that I was too feminine—which if you think about it, was actually very affirming as a trans person [laughter].”

Though now a drag mother to many, it wasn’t until she met Cassandra Colby, her own drag mother, that Sasha’s identity started to crystallize. The two met at a nightclub in Ala Moana when Sasha was still a teenager. “She’s the first example to me of an amazing strong trans woman,” she says. “Just seeing her have a job and

a home and a car, loving life—all the things that people said you couldn’t have if you were trans. I was like ‘sign me up immediately.’”

Looking forward, Sasha’s using her reign to set herself up for longevity, planting seeds in music, film, and beauty (a line of Sasha Colby ponytail extensions, in colors like “Pele,” nods to her iconic hair flips). “So when I’m a has-been and I give this crown to the next queen there’s opportunities still available, still budding, still growing,” she says. “The world is literally open for me.”

That includes making music. Sasha released her first single, Feel the Power in late 2023, to start promoting the Stripped Tour

“As a performer over the last two decades, recording music feels like the most natural next step for my journey as an artist,” Colby said promoting the single. “I have been dreaming of this moment for as long as I can remember and it has been a privilege to work with Glovibes and Luciana to create a song that not only embodies all that I love with music, but what I’ve seen the audience love too: dancing, disco, personal power and the freedom of expression. Music unites us in our shared human experience and Feel the Power invites us all to the dance floor—exactly as we are—to let go of our troubles and enjoy life.”

No matter where her success leads, Sasha knows Hawai’i remains core to her identity, the pulse pushing her forwards. “I take so much pride in being Hawaiian and a trans woman of color, being able to show the beauty of who Hawaiians are, and really just having other Hawaiians proud to see a māhū on TV, even chee-hooing,” she says. “To be seen is really nice.”

style credits

p. 54, p. 58 - 61 / Dress: Stylist Own / Ear cuff - Zena / Bracelets - Jared Jamin

p. 63 - 66 / Hat + bikini top - Psychedelic Overdose / Earrings - UBS Gold

p. 56 - 57 / Dress: Paola Estefania / Earrings - Jared Jamin / Bracelets - Jared Jamin / Ring - Kyle Chan

From his early days as a child performer to his current status as a rising star, Grant Knoche's journey is a testament to his passion for music and his ability to captivate audiences by effortlessly transcending genres with his soulful voice and undeniable charisma.

Grant Knoche is used to being in the spotlight. He got his start performing and touring with KIDZ BOP before doing some acting on Nickelodeon shows like Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn. Representing Texas on the American Song Contest, NBC’s version of Eurovision, helped raise his profile again after placing fourth. But it wasn’t until the 21-year-old came out to his father as bisexual with the song First Hello, in 2022, that he suddenly found himself connecting with a much larger fanbase. “I wasn’t ready then, but I’m ready now,” Knoche sings, which could easily refer to his career.

“My aspiration is to offer solace and visibility to those grappling with their sexuality, leveraging my platform to echo the sentiments of the LGBTQ+ community,” Knoche says. “If my music can offer even a semblance of comfort or understanding, fostering self-acceptance and love, then I consider my mission accomplished.”

With Adele as his muse, Grant's music is imbued with emotional depth and vulnerability, drawing from a diverse range of influences that include pop, EDM, and the lyrical storytelling of artists like Labrinth and Lorde.

The Dallas-born singer and lyricist, who now resides in Los Angeles to pursue his music and acting career, has

independently produced tracks that amp up his delicate voice, backed by thumping pop-rock and edgier atmospheric EDM synth and heavy bass. Intrusive Thoughts is a lusty, slinky earworm found on the EP I Could Just Die Thinking of Us, with Look at Me Right Now, Please Hurry and Delete also notable standouts.

Knoche has adeptly maneuvered the crafting of music that not only captivates but also converses with a generation grappling with rapid change and the search for authenticity.

Travel too is an important element of Knoche's musical creation; it's an integral component of his creative process and personal evolution. The cities he visits, the cultures he immerses himself in, and the people he meets along the way enrich his music, infusing it with diverse influences and a global perspective. Knoche's journey is a testament to the power of music to unite, inspire, and transform.

What motivated you to pursue a career in music, and how did your experience with KIDZ BOP influence your career goals?

Interestingly, my journey began with a passion for dance at the tender age

of seven, where I found myself utterly captivated by the rhythm and the profound emotions music evoked within me. My predilection for lyrical dance introduced me to the soul-stirring melodies of Adele, who became my muse, inspiring me to delve into singing and foster a deepseated love for music. Self-teaching piano and fervently singing Adele's songs laid the groundwork for my involvement with KIDZ BOP, marking the commencement of my aspiration to become a solo artist. The invaluable experience of touring the nation, performing in over 160 shows, recording a dozen albums, and gaining early exposure to the music industry with KIDZ BOP was transformative, cementing my resolve to pursue a lifelong career in music.

Could you discuss your musical influences and their impact on your musical style?

Adele stands out as my paramount influence, imbuing my music with emotional depth and vulnerability. My musical palette diversified with a brief immersion in dubstep and EDM, while pop music has consistently been a cornerstone in my life, attracting me with its universal appeal. This eclectic mix, along with the inspiration drawn from artists like Labrinth, Troye Sivan, Tove Lo, Twenty One Pilots, Dua Lipa, Julia Michaels, and Lorde, has been instrumental in shaping my unique sound.

What is your approach to songwriting, and which themes resonate with you?

My songwriting process is inherently eclectic, initiated by anything from a compelling title, a captivating beat, a melody captured in a voice memo, or even the inspiration drawn from everyday sounds. This spontaneity grants me the freedom to let creativity steer my songwriting, making each piece a unique exploration of sound and emotion.

What inspired First Hello, and how does it mirror your personal journey?

First Hello was conceived in a moment of profound personal significance, serving as a medium to communicate with my father about my sexuality—a topic I had navigated with everyone but him. The song is a heartfelt articulation of the myriad emotions experienced during my coming out, aiming to convey the complexity of feelings ranging from shame to the exhilarating sense of acceptance, pride, and joy that followed embracing my true self.

How has coming out as bisexual influenced your music and your connection with your audience?

Embracing my bisexuality has profoundly deepened my connection with my audience, broadening my reach and infusing my music with authenticity and vulnerability. This newfound freedom has not only enhanced my musical expression but also dismantled barriers, allowing me to explore themes with unbridled honesty.

How has travel influenced your music and creativity?

Travel has indelibly shaped my music, with each destination imparting its unique vibe, influencing the thematic and stylistic aspects of my work. The ambiance and setting of different locations offer diverse creative stimuli, enriching my songwriting and musical expression.

What is one of your most unforgettable travel experiences?

A family trip to Italy in 2016 stands out, coinciding with the release of The Weeknd’s Starboy album, which became the soundtrack of our journey. The beauty of Italy, from its breathtaking architecture to its historic landmarks, left an indelible mark on me, imbuing me with a longing to return.

What destinations are at the top of your travel bucket list, and why?

I’d love to travel to Bora Bora and stay in one of the huts in the water! It just looks so relaxing and beautiful. I’m sure some amazing songs would come out of a trip like that too.

How do you balance the rigors of touring with your personal passion for exploration?

Touring offers unique opportunities to immerse myself in the cultures of the cities I visit, allowing me to connect with each

location through its culinary delights and landmarks, enriching my performance and personal experiences alike.

Can you share a fan interaction that profoundly impacted you?

The outpouring of messages from fans, particularly regarding First Hello, has been overwhelmingly touching. Hearing how my music has empowered others to embrace their identity reaffirms the transformative power of music and its ability to change.

WORDS BY EDDIE KIM

IMAGES BY JOHNNY MILLER

With his first cookbook, TikTok star Jon Kung isn’t afraid to get personal and explore growing up as a third-culture kid.

Where did Jonathan Kung grow up?

You could answer the simple way: They were born in Los Angeles, then raised in Toronto and Hong Kong. But the question is no simple thing for the cook and TikTok star, who has long mulled the meaning and importance of “home”—and what being a “thirdculture kid” says about diaspora, immigrant culture, and emotions we share through food.

Kung still remembers the meals they shared with parents and extended family in Hong Kong, with Cantonese soups, stir-fries and braises spilling out over every inch of the communal table. It left an imprint on the palate that never went away, even when they moved to Canada as a child.

Returning to Hong Kong to finish their last years in high school revived those memories in full, and it’s no surprise that when Kung moved to southeastern Michigan in 2002 for college, the cravings followed. To call it a culture shock would be an understatement: Kung couldn’t even find Chinese takeout or sushi without driving to the next city over. Even some Asian peers he met in the Midwest seemed lackadaisical about their heritage, as if they never quite figured out the link. It left Kung pondering his own place in the world, too.

“I’ve moved around so much in my life that my grasp on my home culture is not all that strong. I could barely get by on my Cantonese, and had to learn to cook and replicate dishes from taste alone.

I had no idea what to make of instructions,” Kung says with a wry laugh. “But later, in adulthood, I realized the food I grew up with is what I want to cook. Through my family and their openness to trying so many different things, I had learned how to eat.”

That life lesson is a big reason why Kung, 39, has blown up in popularity over the last few years. They’ve racked up 1.7 million followers on TikTok by posting cooking ideas and cultural commentary that illuminate the joys and dilemmas of “third-culture” life. The success online also propelled Kung to his first cookbook, dubbed Kung Food: Chinese American Recipes From a ThirdCulture Kitchen. It’s the culmination of Kung brainstorming for years, hoping to strike upon recipes that capture the taste of living in between worlds without the pretense of Western “fusion” food.

Though Kung attended law school in Michigan, the career path never took; instead, he worked as a line cook around Detroit, serving everything from upscale New American dishes to old-school Thai. Eventually, they began hosting pop-up dinners in unconventional spaces, including an abandoned home near the outskirts of downtown Detroit.

Kung even developed plans to open his own restaurant and market, dubbed Kung Food Market Studio. The mission wasn’t to merely promote his style of modern Chinese American cooking — Kung wanted to use food to speak to others who had similar upbringings, too.

“Regardless of what your home culture is, whether it’s Nigerian or Mexican or

Chinese or Thai, people who are first-, second-, third-generation people in America have had similar glimpses of lived experience,” Kung says. “It makes us have a lot more in common than many people would realize.”

But as the old saying goes, the bestlaid plans often go awry. The onset of the pandemic in 2020 forced Kung to scuttle his restaurant plans. Bored and unsure amid the mass closing of eateries and bars, they turned to TikTok as an outlet. Like so many other content creators, Kung initially focused on “lockdown recipes” for home cooks with limited ingredients.

Then, their videos started to evolve with a sharper point of view. Kung went viral for extolling the virtues of cold soba noodles (while shirtless and glistening, which didn’t hurt). He began critiquing notions of “authenticity” and the gatekeeping inherent in communities who think that certain people shouldn’t cook certain foods. Kung spoke on the biases inherent with Western trends like “clean eating” and fad diets when traditional “ethnic” staples can nourish us just as well.

And, of course, Kung kept showing off eye-popping third-culture dishes, garnished with their smooth narration and on-camera charisma (credit to his time studying theater in undergrad, he says).

That creative streak is on full display in Kung Food, which is inspired by a spectrum of pop-culture references, nostalgia and tradition. There’s the Dan Dan Lasagne, which calls upon Kung’s idyllic memories of the frozen version made by Stouffer’s.

The Hong Kong “Borscht” sounds like a modern creation, but has historic roots in Russian migration and the slow evolution of the motherland’s signature beet-hued soup into a Cantonese classic. In a borderline meme-like nod to Detroit, there’s Faygo Orange Chicken, using the radioactive soda unironically beloved in the Motor City.

Reading through the descriptions and inspirations, you can sense that the cookbook is a culmination of Kung’s soulsearching. It blends racial and cultural discourse with a kind of neo-stoner energy rife with wit and insight. Kung isn’t afraid to get personal in the text; they even chose to include a marriage proposal to their longtime partner, Jonathon Campbell, in the intro of the book. (He said yes.)

Kung never dreamed of publishing such a cookbook until perhaps later in life, after decades of being a chef. Indeed, they remain unsure of whether TikTok and social media is even a truly sustainable path as a professional, given the fickle nature of algorithms and trends.

But at its heart, Kung’s content works because the recipes feel so much like snapshots—of a time, of a sense, of an emotion that rings true for anyone who has felt stuck between worlds.

Given it all, maybe there’s a little irony in that Kung now feels firmly rooted in Detroit. Navigating adulthood in the city amid the devastation of the 2007 recession gave him purpose: “There were so many empty buildings, but at the same time, a surprisingly large underground community of artists and artisans and tradespeople

were helping each other,” Kung says. “Had I lived anywhere else during my development as a creative person, I don’t think I would have made it.”

The Midwest was a daunting place for Kung to land 20 years ago. But the 7,800-mile gap between Detroit and Hong Kong helped the young cook learn that his “identity crisis” wasn’t a crisis at all. It was just a step to embracing third-culture life, one dish at a time.

Reprinted with permission from Kung Food: Chinese American Recipes from a Third-Culture Kitchen by Jon Kung © 2023. Photographs © 2023 by Johnny Miller. Published by Clarkson Potter, an imprint of Penguin Random House.

Yoshihiro Imai’s story isn’t necessarily a queer one, but the Japanese chef has certainly dealt with some of the same struggles with identity, selflove and acceptance that resonate with members of the LGBTQ+ community. Thanks to Netflix, his confidence in the kitchen has fired up a new fanbase eager to taste his take on the perfect pizza.

As I watch Chef Imai slide freshly made pizza dough spread with a thick paste of salty black nori into a blazing wood-fired stone oven, I realize that those observing him in the open kitchen around me are there for the same reason: we watched Chef’s Table: Pizza

Literally everyone in the small 14-seat restaurant at that moment traveled to Kyoto because they know his story. The couple next to my husband and I are from Canada. The family behind us is from Minnesota. No one is from Japan.

And it’s mostly been like that since Chef Imai’s episode of Chef’s Table aired in 2022, with my husband having returned to Monk multiple times and experiencing the same thing.

Monk was already doing well before the series. The restaurant was full every night, attracting around 4,000 guests per year from word of mouth. But Netflix has clearly changed who is booking a reservation now. When you watch Chef Imai’s episode, the guests are primarily Japanese. Now, they’re mostly a mix of curious foreigners.

Set-jetting is when fans of a film or show will travel to a place they saw on screen to experience it in person. White Lotus, Game of Thrones, Bridgerton, Downton Abbey, Crazy Rich Asians, the Mission: Impossible and James Bond franchises—all have boosted travel to their filming locations. And that’s not likely to change. Movies or TV shows inspire where 70% of Gen Z and Millennials visit, according to a 2023 American Express Global Travel Trends Report.

I essentially did that with Chef’s Table: Pizza. I wanted to experience Chef Imai’s talents in person—in my case, on my birthday. But I’ve also done that after watching seasons of Bravo’s Top Chef: I wanted to experience the food these talented chefs on TV were making at their own restaurants in real life.

Narratives that leave a profound impression are those that kindle an insatiable desire for further exploration. Knowing the struggles of individuals at the center of it all—whether they’re racing a Formula 1 car, playing a grueling match at the US Open, or cooking signature dishes in a kitchen—makes them far more captivating.

Monk lives up to the hype. Set along the canal of the cherry blossomlined Philosopher's Path in Kyoto, the restaurant is found inside an unassuming converted house in a peaceful residential neighborhood, walking distance to the city’s ancient temples. Upstairs, Yoshihiro’s wife runs a studio that offers yoga, pilates and meditation classes.

Watching Yoshihiro Imai cook his seasonally inspired dishes is a pleasure. He is incredibly focused. He’s quiet. Confident. Unpretentious. Humble. His food is simple to a fault. There are no seasonings or sauces on his pizza. Just the local ingredients he and his team found at the market that day: Ayu sweetfish, tender kujo negi leek, colorful chrysanthemum, shiitake, buds of butterbur sprout, wild venison or a simple tomato garnished with wildflowers and paired with the right cheese.

His seven-course tasting menu in the spring let the ingredients shine and included a pairing of carrot and mozzarella, Spanish mackerel with daikon and citrus, Jerusalem artichoke and sorrel, wild boar and beetroot, ending with sweet strawberries and sake.

Cooking with fire is central to the restaurant. A plate of seasonal vegetables simply sprinkled with salt and roasted in the oven is one of his standouts. “Serving simple dishes requires courage,” Chef Imai says. But he’s always been an outsider. Imai started his career as a chef late at 23. He doesn’t have formal training in the kitchen. He was a loner; instead of playing soccer

at school with classmates he would roam alone in the woods. He was always on another path.

“There isn’t much to break down in terms of rules because I have never felt bound to them in any way,” he has said. “Since I started, I was always doing what I wanted. My wish for the future is just to be even more free.”

Time and time again, you’re reminded of Imai’s individuality—of his dual ability to respect tradition while seamlessly adapting to contemporary life. He makes pizza his way. His version of a Japanese kaiseki menu doesn't start with rice and soup, but a bite of pizza crust topped with olive oil and parmigiano, then a soup, perfectly roasted vegetables and meat course, before finishing with a pizza, the star of the show.

In Japanese society the older son is expected to continue in the family business. For the Imai family that meant dentistry. Breaking that can be seen as selfish.

“A restaurant is where you get food, not to serve food,” is what his mother once told him. But Imai wasn’t crazy as he pursued his passion. He would eventually win over his parents’ acceptance for not following in the footsteps of the rest of the men in his family.

“At times I thought to myself, it seems like a different person,” his mother would say after watching him cook. He was. That’s what authenticity and being true to oneself looks like.

Chef Imai says he was inspired to become a chef when he was moved by the memory and emotion of the flavors of the pizza he had at Enboca, a restaurant in the

mountain town of Nagano. “I can recall that moment so clearly because I wanted to make a dish like that that can connect so deeply with someone and really blow their mind,” he said. It’s an honorable mission.

I reached out to Chef Imai and let him know I would be writing about him. In his response, he appreciated that I had visited, and was pleased about my positive experience. However, he shared his newfound fame from Netflix and increased recognition on the world stage had made him tired. Shortly after, the restaurant took a month-long break.

I hope he was able to rest. Thanks to Netflix sharing his story, he’ll have plenty of more diners ready to try his exceptional pizza in Kyoto. And ready to be inspired.

HAVE PUN, WILL TRAVEL

WORDS BY NICCOLO BRANDON SERRATT

IMAGES BY CALUM MCSWIGGAN

As an author of books like Eat, Gay, Love, and Straight Expectations, Calum McSwiggan is looking to provoke and soothe at the same time, raising awareness for the queer community through stories that are inspired by an insatiable thrill for discovering the world.

In the buzzing realm of the online world, Calum McSwiggan stands out as a champion for change, mixing stories of LGBTQ+ rights, mental health, and travel into one big, colorful journey towards making a difference. McSwiggan uses his unique voice to stand up for those on the sidelines, all while chasing adventures around the planet with a thirst for more than just seeing new sights. Eat, Gay, Love, McSwiggan's travel memoir, is a playful twist on Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, charting his explorations beyond his hometown of London. His adventures range from connecting with an Italian teenager battling a homophobic father, to delving into Berlin's sex club scene, and caring for tigers at a sanctuary in Thailand. Through these experiences, McSwiggan remains unapologetically himself, offering insights into traveling with purpose, writing with fervour, and championing social justice. However, McSwiggan's writings extend beyond travel. He is also the author of Straight Expectations, a novel exploring the journey of a boy whose desire to be straight becomes a reality, and Masquerade, a queer reinterpretation of the Bill Murray classic Groundhog Day

His passion lies in the stories of the people he encounters, the potential for positive change, and the belief that one should never prejudge a story without

experiencing it firsthand. I'm looking forward to exploring a mix of destinations for both enjoyment and advocacy.

“As I embrace full-time nomadic life, I'm keen on pushing boundaries and expanding my experiences to share firsthand insights with my community,” McSwiggan says. “This approach aims to challenge assumptions and offer a personal perspective on LGBTQ+ life around the world, enriching both my advocacy and my audience's understanding.”

Can you share the moment or experience that initially inspired you to start creating content focused on LGBTQ+ issues and advocacy?

Certainly. My journey in this field began around 2008-2009, triggered by a surprising incident during my university years. I discovered I couldn't donate blood simply because I was a gay man. This revelation at a blood drive, where I was turned away, struck me as utterly ridiculous. Having educated myself on HIV and understanding the science, I felt compelled to act. This led me to write an article for my local student magazine, which eventually evolved into creating a blog. That blog laid the groundwork for further writing, a YouTube channel, and other social media platforms. Since then, I've dedicated myself to advocating for LGBTQ+ issues, albeit my focus has shifted over the years. Initially more broadly focused, I now mainly concentrate on travel, always with the LGBTQ+ community in mind.

What new perspectives or insights were you aiming to offer readers about the LGBTQ+ experience that you felt were missing from public discourse?

My book, Eat, Gay, Love, reflects my global travels and the incredible LGBTQ+ individuals I've met along the way.

My passion for travel is deeply intertwined with the people I encounter, particularly those from the queer community worldwide. Having grown up in the United Kingdom, I realised my understanding of queer issues was somewhat insular. We often celebrate our own milestones, like Pride in San Francisco or the Stonewall Riots, overlooking the broader, global narrative. My aim was to share my experiences and pay tribute to the diverse and remarkable LGBTQ+ people I've met globally, expanding the conversation beyond our localised views.

How has travelling influenced your perspective on global LGBTQ+ rights and advocacy?

Traveling has offered me a nuanced understanding of LGBTQ+ life worldwide. For example, despite Malaysia's laws against homosexuality, my experiences there revealed a vibrant, welcoming queer community, contradicting the skewed perspectives often seen in the media. This has led me to believe in supporting rather than boycotting such countries. While I personally avoid certain places for specific reasons, I advocate for a more nuanced approach to boycotts, emphasising support for local LGBTQ+ communities over blanket exclusions.

Can you share a particularly memorable travel experience that deeply impacted your understanding or appreciation of a specific culture or community?

My visit to Mexico for the Day of the Dead festival profoundly changed my perception of the country's acceptance and community spirit, especially regarding LGBTQ+ rights. Contrary to warnings about visibility and safety, I found an incredibly welcoming community. My experiences, including a holiday romance where we were treated as

equals in public, highlighted Mexico as one of the most accepting countries I've visited, challenging misconceptions and affirming the power of community and acceptance.

In your travels, have you encountered any challenges or barriers as a queer traveler?

Fortunately, my experiences as a white, gay, cisgender man have been relatively smooth, allowing me to sometimes "fly under the radar." However, not all LGBTQ+ and trans individuals share this privilege, as their expressions of identity can attract more scrutiny. A notable incident was in Croatia, where my boyfriend and I were denied a double bed, a subtle reminder of the challenges still faced. Such experiences, though minor compared to what others endure, underscore the varied realities of travelling as part of the LGBTQ+ community.

How do you balance the personal and professional aspects of your travels, especially when creating content that merges your personal experiences with broader societal issues?

Sharing my travel experiences has always been a blend of passion and profession. My approach to documenting and sharing, whether for a close circle on Instagram or the public, remains consistent and driven by genuine interest. The challenge arises in respecting the privacy of others, balancing openness with the need for discretion. This respect for privacy is paramount, guiding how I navigate sharing stories that involve others while engaging with my audience.

Have your travels inspired any specific projects or content series focused on exploring LGBT+ communities or issues in different cultural contexts?

Absolutely! My travels continuously inspire

new content, driven by the people I meet and the stories they share. Unlike some creators who arrive with a preconceived story angle, I let my experiences guide me. For instance, my visit to Antigua to cover the repeal of anti-gay laws evolved from a simple narrative to a more nuanced discussion on persistent homophobia, influenced by conversations with local queer Antiguans. This approach allows for a more authentic exploration of LGBT+ issues across different cultures.

Looking back on your travels and career so far, what advice would you give to someone looking to use their platform for advocacy, particularly in relation to LGBTQ+ rights and mental health?

The key is to speak from personal passion and experience. While it's easy to feel pressured to address every issue, focusing on what truly resonates allows for more genuine and impactful advocacy. Engaging in issues that strike a chord, without succumbing to the pressure to cover topics beyond one's understanding, can lead to meaningful conversations and change. It's about leveraging your unique voice and perspective to make a difference, regardless of the size of your platform.

Zack S Jr's journey through photography captures the essence of honesty, connection, and the profound impact of travel on creativity. As he continues to explore new horizons and refine his craft, we can expect to witness more of his unique perspective on the beauty that surrounds us, both on the island of Hawai‘i and beyond.

When you look at Zack’s images, there’s an overwhelming sense of calmness, stillness, natural awe. There’s a silent sensuality to how he skillfully shoots nature or models in serene settings.

"I try to think of myself as an honest photographer,” says Zack, 31, whose family is first-generation Filipino, and lives in Puna on the island of Hawai‘i. “I always lead with the heart and do what feels right in my na‘au (your intuition). Connection and trust are something I try to carry through in all my sessions.”

Zack describes his photography as journal entries—personal revelations. “It's so honest and true to who I am and what I believe in,” he says. “I am a Cancer, for horoscope fiends, and am a sucker for love. I have never been romantically in love, so I love through my art.”

As a former flight attendant for Hawaiian Airlines, Zack was able to travel. “Any time I travel, it's almost like the feeling of finding a new tide pool amplified by 100,” he says. “Your senses are reborn and hyper sensitive to all things new. It can be super intimidating but I just find it as another opportunity to connect and learn more about yourself.”

Zack is among an impressive roster of young photographers in Hawai‘i whose talents are being noticed, and certainly worth following. He started appreciating his own work when he saw a hallway filled with his images in a friend’s house. “I had never seen my photos printed and it made me realize that these photos were art,” he says.

“Hawai‘i‘s creative community is a gold mine, in my opinion,” Zack says. “We live in someone else’s vacation. Any ideas that come from the normalizing of this lifestyle is beyond paradise. There are so many amazing creatives—so many—and they all inspire me.”

But it’s travel that inspires him most. “Being in new spaces and seeing places with fresh eyes is always exciting,” he says.

With the Big Island as his backyard, Zack can often be found on the east side of the island, his favorite place to shoot.

“There really is no bad spot and so many trails and rivers to follow; I honestly find a new favorite spot every time,” he says. “The Big Island is a breath of fresh air and an opportunity to dig your feet into your roots. Time on the Big Island almost feels like meditation."

III. Explore

Connect with locals who see their cities as maps to self-discovery

Nestled on the sun-drenched shores of O‘ahu, only minutes from the pulse of Waikīkī, is a haven of understated luxury for discerning travelers looking to escape the ordinary, and recharge and connect with the natural beauty that surrounds them.

With its secluded beach setting, manicured lawns and swaying palms, The Kahala Hotel & Resort is a tranquil oasis that enables its guests to discover and renew with luxury accommodations and transformative culinary and cultural experiences.

When it opened in 1964, The Kahala was a vision of mid-century modern elegance, rising from the sand with clean lines and expansive windows reflecting the optimism of a time when Hawai‘i was synonymous with paradise. This wasn't just another hotel; it was a destination.

The resort’s reputation is still unmatched, and its renowned service continues to make it a refuge for royalty, heads of state, and the A-list seeking solace beneath the Hawaiian sun. While the notable names may have changed, modern-day tastemakers and jetsetters are creating their own narratives.

The Kahala's commitment to timeless elegance remains. Whether it's indulging in a bespoke shopping experience within the hotel's curated boutiques, mastering the art of surfing, or simply basking in the golden glow of a sunset, The Kahala caters to the individual's desire for a truly personalized experience.

That includes learning the art of hula dancing from local instructors, participating in traditional lei-making workshops, or embarking on guided hikes through the island's lush rainforests, and securing a coveted tee time at the adjacent championship golf course.

Prime Location

Its setting is clearly one of The Kahala’s biggest draws. It’s removed from the cacophony of tour buses and throngs of tourists on Waikīkī Beach, but still close enough to all the metropolitan life of Honolulu has to offer. The resort is situated in an upscale neighborhood close to the

intricate tile work, patterned textiles and tropical gardens of the Shangri La Center for Islamic Arts and Cultures, and right next to the Waialae Country Club, which starts the year with the annual Sony Open tournament, the PGA Tour’s first event.

Mornings are meant to be spent sipping Kona coffee on a private lanai with views of the turquoise expanse of the Pacific, or the dormant volcanic sentinel that is Diamond Head. Stroll through the resort's lush gardens and admire the vibrant flora and exotic birds. Afternoons could include a spa treatment, with the expert hands of therapists easing away the stress of city life. Enjoy a memorable swim in the lagoon with bottlenose dolphins, seen just outside your room. Lounge by the pool or on the private beach, and take in hues of vibrant orange and pink at sunset with cocktails on the oceanfront terrace before returning to a light and airy suite with splashes of the tropics.

Culinary Delights

Given that the resort’s executive Chef Jonathan Mizukami has spent the past 20 years cooking at renowned restaurants like Thomas Keller’s The French Laundry, in Napa Valley; Spain’s three-star Michelin starred El Bulli; Alinea, in Chicago; and Per Se, in New York City, guests and locals are presented dishes that amplify local flavors.

Decadently rolled pancakes, fried ahi poke musubi, broiled misoyaki butterfish, and The Kahala Signature Bento are popular standouts at The Kahala’s restaurants, including the beachside Plumeria Beach House. Hoku’s is the resort’s signature restaurant with an incredible course menu and wine pairing, and acclaimed Sunday Brunch and seafood buffet.

To celebrate its 60th Anniversary this year, The Kahala introduced a modern twist on popular cocktails from the 1960s,

including a Millennium Star diamond martini, Pink Sunrise gimlet and The Florentine margarita.

For the anniversary, the resort’s spa also introduced an exclusive Nineteen Sixty Four Diamond Glow treatment. The relaxing four-hour experience includes the property’s signature Ho'omaka Foot Ritual, followed by an exfoliating foot scrub, 30-minute soak in an infinity bath, 80-minute customized massage, and an 80-minute customized or Glo2 Facial.

Giving Back

Community has always been important to The Kahala, as the largest private business within the area. It strives to offer a taste of authentic Hawaiian culture that provides a glimpse into the heart and soul of Hawai‘i to enrich stays and leave guests with a deeper appreciation for the island's unique spirit.

The resort provides financial support through its KISCA program to non-profits within the area that foster education about Hawaiian culture and sustainable environmental practices.

Its on-property programming tries to differentiate itself from other resorts with Kūpuna (elders) available to educate guests about the Ahupua‘a (Hawaiian marker for land) of the area and the significant events that occurred, such as King Kamehameha’s first landing along the shores fronting the resort when he began his quest to successfully unify the Hawaiian islands.

Cultural offerings include expected favorites like hula and lei making, but

also unique experiences such as fish net throwing. Here, guests can be transported back to how native Hawaiians crafted their nets, and together with the practitioner, throw them to catch fish right on the beach in front of the resort.

“We have a kuleana (responsibility) to the community we are in,” says Joe Ibarra, General Manager of The Kahala Hotel & Resort, and VP of Resorttrust Hawaii, the hotel’s owner.

But community also means considering the needs and understanding the expectations of the LGBTQ+ community, various cultural and ethnic groups. When it comes to inclusivity, the word that comes to mind is ohana, or family.

“We treat The Kahala as our home, and the guests that visit The Kahala are treated as part of our ohana,” Ibarra says. “There is genuine love and care that touches every interaction because our colleagues have a sincere interest in the guest experience striving to create experiences that create memories that last a lifetime.”

For The Kahala’s management, inclusivity isn’t an extra, it should be a standard practice in how it treats its guests—all of its guests, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

For Ibarra, being an open representative of the LGBTQ+ community, has enabled him to view and analyze the overall guest experience in a different way. “I often ask myself, how can I create services and experiences that cater to me, and what I have learned is that I expect the same level of service as any other patron, no more no less,” Ibarra says.

(From left to right): The iconic chandeliers of The Kahala’s open-air lobby; Joe Ibarra, GM of the resort; and the decadent rolled pancakes at Plumeria Beach House. (Next Page): A bottlenose dolphin swims in the resort's lagoon, part of Dolphin Quest Hawaii.

“I wanted to be included and treated as family, and that is what we focus on here at The Kahala.”

Seen and Heard

Like most travelers, especially those visiting Hawai‘i, Ibarra gravitates to a serene setting that promotes wellness, the discovery of culinary delights of the locale and ways to learn about the culture and history of the destination. “Allowing our guests to relax and be transported away from their day to day life and stress is everything that we embody at The Kahala,” Ibarra says.

Over the years, The Kahala has taken the initiative to make notable efforts to embrace change in how it treats LGBTQ+ travelers. For example, intake forms for registration are gender inclusive, allowing for recognition of same sex married couples and domestic partnerships. Staff is trained in providing respectful and inclusive service to all guests.

The resort’s retail operations have also made an effort to represent local LGBTQowned businesses, including apparel from Honolulu-based fashion designer David Shepard, and art by photographer Trevor Robert Isabel.

“When we don’t see us there, we don’t see ourselves there,” adds Monji Mohammad, Director of Retail, Spa, Wellness & Merchandising at The Kahala Hotel & Resort. “Because I am part of a societal minority group, I am more sensitive to the diverse needs of our guests.”

Since many same sex couples choose not to have children and consider their fur babies as their children, The Kahala pampers its furry guests with a lei upon arrival, a customized bowl and personalized cookies (with the dog’s name), as well as a special dog pillow for use during the visit.

“As diverse as our colleagues are, we always seek to learn and grow and welcome every aspect of the community, including LGBTQ+ travelers,” Ibarra says. “It helps us reinforce who we are as a company and how we engage with our community.”

" Joe Ibarra, General Manager of The Kahala Hotel & Resort, and VP of Resorttrust Hawaii

We treat The Kahala as our home, and the guests that visit The Kahala are treated as part of our ohana."

In a serendipitous convergence of wanderlust and digital connectivity, travel and social media created a perfect union.

It’s hard not to appreciate the irony of Khoa Tran’s proudest moment, starring in his first movie in Vietnam called “Lost in Paradise.” When it was released in 2011, he didn’t realize the positive impact the film would have on the LGBTQ+ community there. “Back then, being gay or talking about being gay was almost taboo. There weren't many films in Vietnam at the time that included gay culture or gay characters in them. I remember I would get a lot of messages through social media after the release of the movie— and to this day—from people telling me how much the movie meant to them. It really made me feel happy and very blessed to have played the role that I did.”

Together with his husband, model Rhonee Rojas, Khoa continues to have a strong influence on the LGBTQ+ community through media, but mostly through the visual friendly nature of travel.

They have spent the past seven years exploring more than 50 countries, documenting their adventures to a growing number of fans who want to see where they go next. Through their photography and social media business, they regularly collaborate with fashion brands, luxury hotels and tourism boards to shoot lifestyle campaigns that connect with consumers.

They initially met on Instagram in 2016. “I slid into Khoa’s DMs,” Rhonee says, but meeting him wasn’t easy. Khoa, who was living in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, was busy working as an actor and singer, and running his year-round Christmas-themed coffee shop, Joy, Not Only in December. “I love Christmas a lot,” he says.

TRIP TIP: MOROCCO

Khoa and Rhonee recently spent a few weeks touring Marrakech, Morocco, where they explored the ruins of El Badi Palace; rode camels through the Agafay, Desert; and visited the famous Madrasa Ben Youssef, a 16th-century college with prayer hall and courtyards ornately decorated with tiles and carved wood.

TIP: THE POWER OF TRAVEL

Travel opens your eyes to different cultures,” Khoa says. “It teaches you communication skills, how to problem solve, patience and empathy. It gives you confidence, independence and freedom. It also gives you the opportunity to meet new friends. Most importantly, travel takes you out of your comfort zone and teaches you how little material things matter. It’s the experience and the life skills that cannot be bought.”

After a few months of text messages, their first date would be at RumFire, in Waikīkī, while Khoa was visiting Hawai‘i with friends. Khoa was shy. Sparks weren’t really flying just yet. Months later, a surprise visit to Vietnam had the two spending a romantic holiday at the private island of the Six Senses Resort, in Nha Trang. “That’s where we fell in love and that’s where our story began,” Rhonee says.

Khoa moved to Hawai‘i soon after and they married a year later. After six years in Hawai‘i, they now live in Las Vegas, nicknamed the “Ninth Island” by Hawaiians.

When they were looking for a new home, the lower cost of living, accessibility to an international airport and a lot of entertainment options made Las Vegas hard to pass up. “We absolutely love that there is always something to do no matter what time of day or day of the week it is,” Khoa says.

You’ll find them at a concert or festival, at the Bacchanal Buffet at Caesars Palace, the bars at Area 15 or the downtown arts district. They also like to hike Red Rock Canyon, The Valley of Fire and Mount Charleston. When they’re home they’re keeping it simple and tend to their garden. Yes, in the desert, Rhonee jokes. “It’s something different and it relaxes our mind.” Visiting the lush jungles of Bali and Costa Rica also made Rhonee a green thumb; he can’t stop collecting plants. “I’ve run out of room,” he jokes.

Khoa and Rhonnee travel at least once every other month, and like to mix the hectic pace of a city with a tranquil villa in the middle of a rice field. When we connected, they had just returned from two weeks exploring Sydney and New Zealand, and were about to go to Iceland and Scotland. Jaipur, India; Egypt, Jordan and the Maldives are on their must-visit lists.

“Traveling with a purpose is also very important to us and we try to give back to those communities who have embraced us with their kind and generous hospitality,” says Rhonee, who together with Khoa

TRIP

“We absolutely love Bali,” Khoa says. “I think it reminds us a lot of home in Hawai‘i. We enjoy the beautiful pool villas, the remote waterfalls and the culture of the Balinese people.”

TRIP TIP: BALI

worked with the Shintani Foundation, in Cambodia, to build a water well for a Cambodian family, and deliver food to 20 others that would feed their families for a month.

When traveling with others, find someone with the same interests, they recommend. Traveling with someone who is pretty much up for anything is also a huge plus. Khoa and Rhonee travel well together. “We like the same things so it’s not hard figuring out what we should eat or go visit,” Khoa says.

One of their favorite places has been Dubrovnik, Croatia, where Game of Thrones filmed. They've loved the cobble-stone streets of Stockholm, Sweden, and standing in the middle of the iconic Cenote Suytan sinkhole in Tulum, Mexico. “We had the entire place to ourselves which was quite magical,” Rhonee says.

Travel inspires their creativity. “I love taking photos, as you can see. I love architectural design. I love experiencing cultures and integrating it with my art.” Khoa says.

“Travel is definitely a huge part of our lives,” Rhonee adds. “It has given us the opportunity to network, make long lasting and meaningful friendships. It has boosted our creativity, improved our mental health, lowered our stress levels and it made us appreciate what we have.”

Naturally, the one question Khoa and Rhonee get the most is, “Where is the one place people should visit at least once?” Their answer is always the same: “Hawai‘i”.

Hawai’i will always feel like home to Khoa and Rhonee. It’s where Rhonee is from; he grew up in Mililani, on O‘ahu. It’s where they met and lived together for the first time. It’s where they got married. “Hawai‘i is just a really special place,” Rhonee says.

TRIP TIP: AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND

Sydney has a great mix of nature and city, which we love,” Khoa says. “I remember taking deep breaths” in Dunedin and Christchurch, in New Zealand. “Everything just felt fresh and pure. Everything was so pristine and beautiful.”

TRIP TIP: LIVE LIKE A LOCAL

Khoa and Rhonee prefer not to stay in hotels unless they’re collaborating with one, so they can adapt easier to their surroundings the way the locals do. “We love to immerse ourselves right away” and quickly learn the public transportation systems and favorite places locals go, Rhonee says. “With the power of social media we have friends all over the world, so luckily we visit places where we may know a few people who we’ve met through Instagram.”

After Europe, Latin America is the second favorite destination the LGBTQ+ community is most excited to explore in 2024, according to research by the LGBTQ+ Travel Association (IGLTA), most notably Rio de Janeiro in Brasil, Puerto Vallarta and Mexico City in Mexico, San Juan in Puerto Rico, and Bogotá and Medellin in Colombia.

These destinations also were considered as the most inclusive for LGBTQ+ travelers, and with 35% saying they prefer destinations where they can feel accepted, and another 30% citing safety, as a main reason for choosing a place to visit, inclusivity has never been more important.

We’ve come up with our own list: Berlin, Bangkok, Nashville, New Orleans, and Mérida.

These five Great Escapes are all known for their welcoming environments and warm hospitality, making them appealing places for travelers seeking memorable experiences.

While each city has its unique flavor and identity, the common thread lies in their celebration of diversity, cultural richness, and openness to people of all walks of life.

WORDS BY MARC GRASER

IMAGES BY FABIENNE CAMPELLO , JULIA SOLONINA , ALEX AZABACHE , GABRIEL TOVAR , AND MARY HAMMEL

Before or after whisking off to Thailand to unwind at a beachfront resort in Phuket, Koh Samui or Krabi, make sure to experience the pulse of Bangkok’s mash-up of modernity and tradition, virbrant street life, rich culinary scene and warm and welcoming laid-back locals.

You can combine all those elements by simply sipping a decadently sweet Thai iced coffee on the veranda of a cozy cafe along the banks of the Chao Phraya River as you admire the majestic opulence of the gold covered Wat Arun, the most iconic temple in Bangkok, from across the water.

Bangkok has an energy you won’t experience anywhere else: there’s an edginess to it that makes you feel like you’re flirting with danger, but still always feel safe—a feeling that intoxicates visitors and entices them to return for more.

With 11 million people and a cacophony of Tuk-Tuk horns, Bangkok can feel congested and overwhelming at times, but you’ll forget all that when you lose yourself in one of the city’s massive multi-storied malls. There are many of them, with their own themes. Iconsiam focuses on futuristic luxury, while there are more tech-centric experiences at Siam Discovery, Terminal 21 promotes global destinations, EmQuartier has a lush garden aesthetic, and MBK Center has a bustling market ambiance.

From electrifying nightlife to historic temples with inclusive practices, Bangkok welcomes individuals of all identities.

Step into Silom Soi 2, Bangkok's renowned LGBTQ+ district, and you’ll be greeted by a kaleidoscope of rainbow flags and friendly faces with a variety of bars and shows to choose from.

While Bangkok's nightlife is legendary, the city offers much more for LGBTQ+ travelers. Explore the opulent Grand Palace, marvel at the Emerald Buddha, and wander through the bustling Chatuchak Weekend Market, the largest of its kind in the world.

Many tours are LGBTQ-friendly.

Thailand has a deep-rooted spiritual culture, and several temples embrace LGBTQ+ individuals. Wat Ratchabophit, renowned for its stunning architecture, regularly hosts blessings for same-sex couples. Similarly, Wat Chakrawat hosts an annual LGBTQ pilgrimage, showcasing the growing acceptance within Buddhist communities.

With over 400 temples and grand palaces, time constraints may limit your exploration. Nonetheless, prioritize the 46-meter-long gold leaf Buddha at Wat Pho, renowned for the original Thai massage. Don't miss Wat Phra Kaew, housing the Emerald Buddha, and experience the magical allure of the Temple of Dawn at night, with its illuminated spire casting a glow over the river.

Throughout the year, Bangkok explodes with colorful festivals celebrating diversity. The Bangkok Pride Festival takes place in June, and the iconic Songkran water festival, held earlier in April, welcomes everyone to participate in the playful water fight.

From street stalls to Michelin-starred restaurants, you’ll have plenty of options to satisfy and palate. One rule of thumb: eat and try everything.

The further north you go in Germany the more conservative the culture tends to get. Until you get to Berlin, that is. That’s where anything goes and continues to be the unwritten rule.

Despite signs of gentrification and commercialism, the counterculture spirit is still alive and well in this capital city, where there’s always been a willingness to challenge the status quo. A long and tumultuous history marked by division, social activism and political protest, often challenging power structures and advocating for marginalized groups, has a lot to do with that.

Berlin breathes acceptance. From a vibrant art scene that amplifies LGBTQ+ voices to fashion that flaunts individuality and blurs gender lines, the city pulsates with creativity. Its legendary nightlife at underground clubs to techno temples has a reputation for being hedonistic and experimental. Whether you thirst for leather-clad nights at the iconic Berghain club or bubbly drag brunches at cozy cafes, Berlin has your scene.

Some say the city's alternative scene has lost its raw authenticity as it caters to tourists. But much of that change has positively influenced the look of modern Berlin, with new architectural styles and public spaces along the Spree River creating a more dynamic city that essentially embraces the best parts of New York, Miami, Milan and London—cities where queer and creative communities thrive.

The beating heart of Berlin's LGBTQ+ scene can be found in Schöneberg, which has a long history of activism and acceptance, and is home to Nollendorfplatz, a popular square. Explore Neukölln for its edgy underground vibes, or the trendier Prenzlauer Berg. Other neighborhoods to explore are Kreuzberg, with an alternative

vibe, and large queer population, while a younger crowd hangs out in Friedrichshain. All boast their share of charming cafes, restaurants, bars, shops and parks.

At night, hit up Schwuz, Berlin's largest LGBTQ+ club, with multiple dance floors. Connection is a popular bar and club with a focus on electronic music and drag performances. Tom's Bar is a classic gay bar with a cruisy atmosphere and a long history. Möbel Olfe is more relaxed with outdoor seating.

While Berlin's nightlife deserves its fame, it's important to remember the city offers so much more. Explore its historical landmarks, visit its renowned museums, or take a bike ride through its sprawling parks.

Visit the Schwules Museum, dedicated to LGBTQ+ history and culture, or see the poignant Memorial to Homosexuals Persecuted Under Nazism. The Magnus Hirschfeld Center is a museum and research center dedicated to the history of sexuality and gender identity.

Berlin knows how to throw an event. It boasts the largest Christopher Street Day parade in Europe. Film lovers should hit up the Berlinale, an international film festival with a strong focus on queer cinema. There’s also Berlin Fashion Week, and Gallery Weekend, a series of art exhibitions across the city.

There's plenty to do in the city, but you can also use Berlin's central location as a base to explore other nearby destinations like the charming Potsdam or vibrant Leipzig.

If you’re not into sipping margaritas on crowded beaches in Mexico, you might want to go further inland and explore the cobblestone streets of enchanting Mérida, nestled in the heart of the Yucatán Peninsula, especially for those with a sense of adventure.

Nearly 40 minutes from the Gulf of Mexico, Mérida is steeped in culture and serves as a gateway to exploring Mayan archaeological sites like the pyramids of Chichen Itzá, one of the New Seven Wonders of the World, and the temples of Uxmal.

Explore the majestic Catedral de Mérida, a stunning example of Splanish colonial architecture. Stroll through the Paseo de Montejo, a wide avenue lined with flamboyant mansions, once owned by wealthy families during the henequen boom. Immerse yourself in the local art scene at galleries like La Siempre Habana and Fundación Mezcal y Tequila. The city of 1 million people has more than 10 museums and seven colleges or universities.

Foodies should immerse themselves in Yucatecan Cuisine: a unique blend of Mayan, Spanish, and Caribbean influences. Try local favorites like cochinita pibil (marinated, slow-roasted pork), sopa de lima (lime soup), and panuchos (tortillas filled with black beans and topped with various ingredients).

You’ll want to venture beyond the urban core and discover hidden gems like cenotes, natural sinkholes in collapsed caves, that are perfect for kayaking, swimming and snorkeling, like Cenote Xkeken and Cenote Ik Kil. Also explore the picturesque towns of Izamal, known for its yellow-hued buildings, and Valladolid, with its tranquil central plaza. Hike through the Puuc Hills, dotted with Mayan ruins and offering breathtaking views.

Locals are friendly. The city is safe with low crime and unemployment. A growing LGBTQ+ community, including retired queer ex-pats, has fostered a welcoming environment, evident in the variety of

inclusive cafes, lively bars and year-round events that cater to diverse identities. Remain mindful of cultural norms, though. Public displays of affection are less common, and respectful behavior is key.

While Mexico doesn't have nationwide marriage equality, Yucatán, and Mérida specifically, have a more progressive stance. Several LGBTQ+ bars and clubs thrive, like La Cucaracha Bar and El Cardenal Cantina, offering safe spaces for socializing and making connections. Restaurants and cafes, like Apoala and Ki'Xocolatl, showcase a warm and inclusive vibe.

The annual Mérida Fest, that takes place in January, incorporates events for the LGBTQ+ community. The city celebrates Pride mid June. Organizations like Mérida LGBT and Red Yucateca de la Diversidad Sexual (RYDS) offer helpful resources to connect with locals.

A variety of accommodations for any style and budget are available, including boutique hotels like Rosas & Xocolate and Casa Lecanda. Casa Lol-Ha is a historic LGBTQ+ owned mansion transformed into a charming B&B. The centrally located Hotel Colonial Mérida and Hotel Casa Don Gustavo are also affordable.

Long a hotspot for libation-fueled weekend getaways spent in noisy honky-tonk bars, Nashville is showing a more finer side of Southern hospitality with new luxury hotels, high-end dining options, and lavish experiences elevating what’s affectionately been called “NashVegas.”

Despite an influx of new residents demanding more modern and upscale experiences, Music City’s grungy live music scene and hot chicken sandwiches are hallmarks that’ll never go away. From budget-friendly accommodations to discounted attractions, it’s still possible to explore the city without breaking the bank.

But you’ll likely stay in a nicer place when you visit: Within blocks of Broadway’s neon signs, bars and nightclubs, there’s a W Hotel, Four Seasons, Virgin Hotel, 1 Hotel, Thompson, Dream, and Conrad. The nearby Joseph and historic Union Station Nashville Yards, part of Marriott’s Luxury and Autograph Collections, respectively, are worth splurging on. The Moxy is a great alternative for lower budgets, while updated boutiques like The Hutton Hotel and The Gallatin embrace the local scene with style.

Nashville boasts a long history of LGBTQ activism, with the Stonewall Uprising sparking significant progress in the city. Today, a diverse and inclusive community thrives, evident in the numerous LGBTQowned businesses and welcoming locals, making it a must-visit for any queer traveler seeking Southern charm with a progressive twist. Rainbow flags flutter proudly, and acceptance is woven into the city's fabric.

There’s nightlife for every taste. The Wildhorse Saloon hosts an iconic Drag Brunch, experience burlesque and live music at The Lipstick Lounge, or dance the night away at Tribe, the largest LGBTQ+ dance club. For a more intimate vibe, unwind at The End.

Country icons Willie Nelson and Loretta Lynn performed at Tootsies Orchid Lounge,

a local landmark. Miranda Lambert’s Casa Rosa is a Tex-Mex-inspired bar with live music that attracts a younger crowd. Try the Recession Special at Robert’s Western World: a fried bologna sandwich with chips and a Moon Pie.

Nashville's culinary scene caters to every palate. Indulge in upscale Southern fare at The Catbird Seat, grab a vegan burger at The Pharmacy, or savor authentic Mexican flavors at Taqueria del Sol.

Immerse yourself in Nashville's history through an LGBTQ+ lens. Join the Tennessee Equality Project's guided tours or explore the powerful exhibits at the National Museum of African American Music. Embrace art at the Frist Art Museum or OZ Arts Nashville.

Use Nashville as your springboard to discover the South. Delve into Civil War history in Chattanooga, and explore antique shops, savor farm-to-table delights, and soak in the small-town atmosphere with a day trip to Franklin. Drive through the majestic Great Smoky Mountains, or lose yourself in the charm of Savannah, Georgia. Who doesn’t love a good road trip?

New Orleans isn't just a destination; it's an experience. It's the uninhibited joy of a second-line parade, the soulful melody of a jazz trumpet, and the camaraderie of celebrating your true self.

With its rich history, vibrant culture, and welcoming community, New Orleans is an unforgettable rite of passage for any type of traveler. For 300 years the city has been a mecca for everything decadent and alive. It’s “a place where music, art, history, food, and people of different ethnicities, nationalities, and sexual orientation mix and mingle like the colors of a Michalopoulos painting,” its promoters say.

It’s just that kind of place that you have to visit at least once.

The Big Easy boasts a long and proud history of embracing inclusivity. From the iconic Café Lafitte in Exile, the oldest continuously operating gay bar in the U.S., to the vibrant "Lavender Line" of LGBTQ bars in the French Quarter (including Good Friends Bar, Bourbon Pub, Parade and The Oz), the city has fostered a sense of belonging for decades. When at Lafitte, order a VooDoo Daiquiri, more commonly known as a “Purple Drank.”

New Orleans throws festivals with flamboyant flair, and the LGBTQ+ community takes center stage. From the legendary Southern Decadence, a week-long extravaganza of outrageous costumes and parties, to the quirky and inclusive Krewe of Mona Lisa, there's a festival for every taste.

The city likes to say that every night is a party regardless of whether it's Mardi Gras, Jazz Fest, Halloween or a regular Tuesday. While Bourbon Street offers its own brand of fun, venture beyond the throngs of tourists and discover NOLA's hidden gems. Explore the Faubourg Marigny neighborhood with its stunning architecture and lively music scene.

Take a stroll through the French Quarter, soaking in the historic charm and popping into LGBTQ-owned art galleries and shops. Savor delicious Creole cuisine at local restaurants, many proudly showcasing queer talent.

New Orleans boasts a rich culinary scene that showcases the city's soulful flavors. Let’s face it, you’re going to come here to eat and drink—a lot.

Indulge in the best beignets in New Orleans at Café du Monde, where these iconic French pastries are freshly fried, generously dusted with powdered sugar, and served piping hot. Experience the timeless elegance of Commander's Palace, savor Cajun perfection at Cochon, or the bold flavors of Brennan's, and indulge in modern Southern cuisine at Atchafalaya. Grab a fried catfish po-boy from Parkway Tavern, or enjoy the massive stuffed frog legs at Restaurant R’evolution.

You can delve deeper into New Orleans' rich past with a “Queer History Tour," during which you’ll visit landmarks significant to the city's LGBTQ community. There are even gay ghost tours.

NOLA's nightlife is legendary but there's more to experience than bar hopping. Attend a drag show at The diVine, or immerse yourself in the city's music scene, catching live jazz in cozy Frenchmen Street clubs or enjoying soulful gospel brunches.

A deep dive on YouTube inspired Vin Castillo to book a month-long trip to Thailand and enroll in a massage school in Chiang Mai. The experience gave him a mission to become a pioneer in the wellness industry.

WORDS BY MARC GRASER IMAGES COURTESY OF VIN CASTILLO

Vin Castillo had never been to Thailand before, but when the massage therapist came across a technique called Pa Khao Mah he was instantly hooked. Using a long loincloth (similar to a Hawaiian Sarong) a masseuse manipulates a patient’s body in twists, pulls, and presses that deepen the stretches one typically experiences during a Thai massage. As the patient relaxes with deep breaths, the masseur uses the cloth to essentially turn them into a human pretzel.

“I can tell you that from first-hand experience, it is a unique and cool experience,” says Vin, who calls Los Angeles and Hawai‘i home.

After a long break, Vin is reconnecting with massage again, after studying how to help people eliminate body stress and pain by holding, moving, and applying pressure to the muscles, tendons, ligaments and fascia in L.A. in 2012. He’s realized massage would be a great way to work for himself and build his own business.

Creativity has long inspired Vin, and with massage, he can now express his own creative side in how he incorporates new moves. “I do see myself doing massage in the long run, perhaps teaching it at some point, maybe even become an influencer. Isn't that what direction we are all going anyway?”

Vin’s initial plans to visit Thailand were thwarted by the COVID-19 pandemic. But the more he researched, everything started to align: timing, cost, the appeal of new cultural connections, all of it. “I took this as a sign that it was time to take the leap,” he says.

Being immersed in Thai culture, learning Thai massage and eating amazing Thai food—“I mean, who wouldn’t want that?” Vin asked himself.

Vin enrolled in The Fine Art of Thai Massage School, located in the tranquil mountain town of Chiang Mai, an easy 90-minute flight from the bustle of Bangkok. It offered monthly courses to learn authentic Thai massage while living at the school.

Chiang Mai is growing in popularity with tourists thanks to its ancient temples and picturesque natural surroundings. It’s also much more affordable. But the school Vin found himself at was located in an even more rural area than he expected. “It was definitely a culture shock arriving there,” Vin admits.

“Locals speak very limited English, there are dirt roads, few street lights, stray dogs everywhere, tons of mosquitoes. It’s a slower paced life.” But Vin loved it.

Most massages are quiet and serene. Thai massage can be that way, too, but Pa Khao Mah can also be very intense on the body, for both the patient and the masseur. There are a lot of energies that get released by the patient and the masseur takes it all on. The act of washing away the energies after the massage helps the masseur release it away, along with a prayer and a mudra (Buddhist hand gesture) to sweep away the remaining energy released by the patient.

After classes, weekends offered up time to bond with his cohorts and explore the surrounding area while on the back of the school’s motorcycles. On the first weekend, they took off in the predawn hours to find dozens of connected waterfalls where they could cliff jump into swirling pools, and find themselves surrounded by fluttering orange butterflies. They would discover unexpected restaurants in the mountains that served up a memorable bowl of Vin’s favorite, Khao Soi, a Northern Thai curry noodle soup. Just up the road would be another cafe, part of an elephant sanctuary where they fed the gentle giants sugarcane and bananas.

“Honestly, that is the charm of Thailand: everything is so unassuming and it would behoove you to give things a try,” Vin says. “First impressions are meaningless in Thailand.”

Vin spent all of December in Thailand, meaning celebrating Christmas with his cohorts. But he has long recommended finding groups to immerse yourself in a culture and create your own community.

It’s why he loves Hawai‘i. “I’m a firm believer that people and relationships make the place feel like home,” Vin says. “I felt nothing but aloha when I moved to Hawai‘i and I assimilated into the culture

and community quite quickly. People felt like family really fast and I just love that so much.”

Vin thinks everyone needs to experience a culture opposite of what they’re used to. They need to experience being uncomfortable. Travel, Vin admits, can be quite humbling. “Traveling is a journey,” he says. “It can be difficult. Things can not go your way. I had to learn to trust myself in new ways every single day.”

“People should travel to gain insight that isn’t in a text book or a YouTube video,” he says. “It’s a different learning experience that’s both exhilarating and scary. You learn so much about yourself when you travel, especially by yourself. You get to find out who you are and who you can become. I highly highly recommend solo travel, no matter what age you are.”

Vin had never enrolled in a school in a foreign country before. To eliminate any travel headaches or surprises, he recommends others fully research the program they might be interested in, communicate with a teacher, and understand its Visa requirements for foreigners.

Vin loves the chaos a city can provide, but after leaving Thailand’s quiet countryside and serene beaches, he has “a newfound appreciation for a slower pace of life,” he admits. He learned to appreciate more of the little things: “waking up to crowing roosters in the morning; having instant coffee daily and writing in my journal as I gaze into the beautiful morning sunrise; listening to the distant chanting from the temples broadcasting their prayers via loudspeaker; and trying to communicate in a foreign language. I’ve always had an appreciation for other languages and I empathize with people who try to learn English. It’s a daily challenge and you’d hope that every encounter you have with people comes from a place of understanding and kindness. The people of Thailand are unbelievably helpful and went out of their way to try and understand me.”

“I try to keep an open mind as much as I can when I travel,” Vin says. “That’s where the gold is. Being in a foreign country, assimilating to their customs and norms, figuring out how to communicate, finding charm in unassuming places, really taking yourself out of that element of comfort— there should be some sort of word to explain this feeling.”

While he’s seen much of the world, and wants to return to Japan some day, Barcelona will always have a special place in Vin’s heart.

“It was my first overseas trip by myself and it was such an incredible experience,” he recalls. “From the start, I serendipitously sat next to someone on the plane with whom I’d end up spending a majority of my trip hanging out with. We hung out with more amazing people from the hostel I was staying at, and ended up forming a cute little group together and bonded in a similar way that I bonded with my classmates in Thailand. Six years later, I still keep in touch with them to this day.”

When visiting a new place for the first time, Vin has to get a good workout in, whether it’s at a park or hotel gym, before checking out the local culinary scene. “Then I eat the world,” he says. “Tastes better that way. Believe me.”

While he’s spent considerable time in far off places, Vin would like to explore Europe again and learn different massage modalities there. “Many of the friends that I met on my travels are from Europe, so it’d be nice to go over there and say hello again,” Vin says.

“Something I discovered on my travels is that I want to become a pioneer in the health, fitness, and wellness industry,” Vin says. “I want to lead my own fitness classes, offer my massage services to those people, and eventually boost my visibility. I’ve always been a sucker for a spotlight and traveling has really helped me gain the confidence to just go for it.”

As travelers of color, the Queer Nomads are on a mission to spotlight the resilience of the queer community, ensuring that no one feels invisible.

Lexie and Aisha Shaibu-Lenoir, celebrated as the Queer Nomads, are trailblazers in the realm of modern love and activism, guiding queer individuals globally. Their life—a fusion of travel, love, and a deep commitment to societal change—exemplifies authentic, passionate living.

Based in London, they've journeyed from Asia to the Americas, not merely as travelers but as advocates for inclusivity. Their relationship sparked at UK Black Pride in 2017, and has grown into a formidable union dedicated to challenging societal norms and fostering spaces of unconditional love and acceptance.

As vocal advocates for the Queer and Black communities, Lexie and Aisha intertwine their activism with entrepreneurship. Lexie has distinguished herself as the United Kingdom's first—and currently only— queer wedding planner. Meanwhile, Aisha's venture, Moonlight Experiences, offers tours that reveal the vibrant, often untold queer narratives of London, challenging the conventional travel narrative.

Their mission is to empower the queer community through social media, activism and entrepreneurship and disrupt—in the best way possible—the travel industry.

"Our community is everywhere, and one of the reasons why we started the Queer Nomads was the lack of representation,” says Aisha, reflecting on their journey. “It's about living our most authentic selves and showcasing the joy that was absent in our own upbringings."

How did The Queer Nomads start?

lexie The Queer Nomads started around pandemic times because we were at home a lot. We had traveled a lot, individually and together, so we thought to change the narrative by making it a bit more diverse. We wanted to diversify the travel industry and explore what is out there.

How do you select destinations to explore, and what factors do you consider to ensure your travels are both enjoyable and safe as a queer couple of color?

lexie We choose destinations we haven't been to and then check the laws, what is allowed and what is not, before making a decision. However, we don’t always choose queer-friendly destinations because it's important to remember that even in countries where being gay is illegal, there are still LGBTQ+ communities, and they often feel left out. Travelling is an opportunity to connect with them. The laws are not necessarily a defining argument as to whether to go or not.

aisha As Lexie said, our community is everywhere, and one of the reasons why we started the account was because there was not enough representation allowing us to live our most authentic selves and show off the joy that neither of us got to see growing up.

What challenges have you faced in this endeavor, and how have you overcome them?

aisha In terms of challenges, we have been extremely fortunate not to face too many, but this isn't to say that we haven't faced them individually. While traveling, we have encountered a lot of racism in countries, so if it's not worrying about homophobia, or navigating the world as a woman, there is also the race element to consider. Even in European countries like Italy, we have faced intense racism.

How did you both meet and what initially drew you to each other?

aisha What drew me to Lexie was her aura and energy. We initially met at UK Black Pride and then, a week later, we bumped into each other at Freedom Bar—a place we don't normally go to. I recall saying “Hi” to Lexie, and then she followed me around all night. We have been together ever since, for almost seven years.

lexie I would like to add that I did not follow her as she claims. I was simply enjoying her company and hanging out.

How do you balance your professional passions with nurturing your relationship?

lexie We're both involved in our projects—me with LGBTQ+ wedding planning, and Aisha with her company guiding travelers through London's queer history. Together, we run Queer Nomad and participate in UK Black Pride, linking all aspects of our work and life. This synergy wasn't planned, but it strengthened our relationship. Our fortunate position enables us to travel, support our community, and find happiness. Our efforts extend beyond professional realms, as we also focus on nurturing our relationship with the same compassion we hold for our community.

Of all the places you've traveled together, is there a particular moment or experience that stands out as the most impactful or meaningful?

aisha Just before the pandemic, we went to Vietnam and got engaged, which was great because it allowed us to spend lockdown on cloud nine, all happy and excited. Vietnam will always have a very special place

in our hearts. The food, the people, and the landscape are simply amazing. Overall, the country is truly unique and magical. We also really enjoyed convention travels with IGLTA, which recently took us to Puerto Rico, where we organized industry-breaking events like the first black breakfast and queer black travel leaders event. It was great to see more of us come together.

Are there any upcoming projects or collaborations that you're particularly excited about?

aisha This year, we have a few things lined up, but one of the things we will be doing is group travel and continuing to build on the work we have already done over the last few years. We have worked and will continue working with a few brands to create LGBTQ+ maps, making LGBTQ+ and POC travel more accessible and providing a more diverse perspective to travel.

What advice would you give to queer travelers who are exploring new destinations?

lexie Initially hesitant about Dubai due to misconceptions and legal concerns, I was persuaded by Aisha to visit. This trip unveiled the local queer community and culture, transforming my views and leading me to appreciate Dubai's aesthetic. It taught me the value of an open mind and thorough preparation for safe, enriching travel experiences.

Looking forward, what do you hope your legacy will be as activists, travellers, and trailblazers within the LGBTQ+ and POC communities?

aisha I think our legacy is about paving the way for other POC and queer travelers. What I love to say is that we are living our ancestors' wildest dreams. And because of that, we want to be able to do what we can to pave the way (like our ancestors did for us) for the next generation by being inspirational, providing resources, and working with other people as a community. We want to be part of that change for other people, not just in the U.K. but across the world.

”E lei kau, e lei ho‘oilo i ke aloha.”

Love is worn like a wreath through the summers and the winters. Love is everlasting.

Hawaiian Proverb

A HUI HOU

Until we meet again

IMAGE BY ZACK S JR