NTown - January 2015 by The Norman Transcript

TOWN

Jan. 9, 2015

• TEDxOU: The power of numbers and language • Norman Philharmonic kicks off 2015 with Jerod Tate • Online dating: Good times and bad pickup lines • New Year's resolutions worth keeping • War is hell: New exhibit paints vivid picture

from the editor’s desk H

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fact, I even told him as much by offering that Russell Westbrook actually has one of the highest PERs (player efficiency rating) in the league. I don't know why I even bother. What did I think he would say? "Oh, I hadn't considered that. Good point ..." Yeah, right. Like so many other fruitless battles this one ended in predictably terrible fashion. There's just no point. I'm not blaming the super fan, either. We both had to go in on it together. It's like we made a decision to buy a boat and sink it intentionally, blasting cannons into the floorboard simultaneously and then muttering on the deck about fault and failure while watching the water rise. So, with the new year already under way, I implore everyone to embrace civility, not at the expense of passion, but in the hope that we all have more to gain by letting go. There's a lot of beauty in this world. There's plenty of ugliness, too, but in our day to day lives we call the shots. Let's not waste them this year. Like the great Kurt Vonnegut Jr. wrote, "There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind."

Publisher Mark Millsap

Cover Design Anthony Kimball

Production Manager Rob Rasor

Executive Editor Andy Rieger

Advertising Rebekah Collins Robin Escarcega Kimberly Lehenbauer Ryan Dillard

Writers Mack Burke Doug Hill Mary Newport Scott Strandberg

Editor Mack Burke

what’s

SIDE

• Online: normanscript.com/ ntown

ello Norman, This being the first column of 2015, I'm pretty well obligated to say "Happy New Year" at least once. It would be pretty typical to talk about my own personal resolutions for the next trip around the sun, but instead I'd like to endorse the candidacy of a concept — a philosophy of civility. In politics, sports, religion, driving habits ... everything. Going home for the holidays puts you in close proximity with people you love and a lot of opinions you probably don't. Yet, we all manage to make it work. Arguments about public policy and politics don't end in legislation being passed. More often than not they result in nothing more than raised voices and flared tempers, a lot of hot air and a chilling effect on relationships of all types. The next time you find yourself embroiled in a seemingly life and death showdown over political party lines, just remember that the winner doesn't get to phone the president with the results. The same goes for sports. I had the (dis)pleasure of going to see the Thunder lose to the Mavericks in Dallas over the Christmas "break." As a lifelong NBA fan I found myself enjoying the game even in spite of the loss, but couldn't get over the megaphonelevel ramblings of a rabid Mavs fan, who claimed, as loudly as possible from our seats in near-lunar orbit, that "Westbrook sucks!" Now, I know that's not the case. In

TEDxOU: the power of math and language

6-9

Movie, music and book reviews

Norman Philharmonic welcomes Jerod Tate

Breaking up with facebook

John Legend ends 2014 in OKC

New Year's resolutions worth keeping

New Fred Jones exhibit takes closer look at war

NTown's Top 10

Photographers Kyle Phillips Jay Chilton Mack Burke

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TED is a global set of conferences that has become a global phenomenon. Founded in 1984, 4

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the conference series began in 1990 with a focus on technology but has since blossomed into an all-encompasing umbrella of science, imagination and culture. With hundreds of "talks" already available online (and over a billion views), OU is welcoming a new chapter to the growing ranks of mind opening topics. TEDxOU: OFF THE MAP is giving the stage to perspectives and ideas that have been overlooked, fall outside comfort zones and break boundaries. The sold out conference will take place Jan. 23 at Meacham Auditorium at the Oklahoma Memorial Union. 300 guests will get to attend in person, but the conference will also be made available online at tedxou.com. NTown got a chance to catch up with two student presenters at this year's conference, OU's fourth independently organized TED event: OU seniors Emily Scheele, whose presentation centers on the notion that the body is built with the fundamental tools to perform math and slam poet Victoria Bautista. ——— NTown: How did you get the speaking gig at TEDxOU? Scheele: I attended the TEDxOU event last year (2014) and found myself wishing I were onstage. This year, the application asked for several website links that “best describe you,” and I suppose those must have been interesting enough to warrant an audition! NTown: What incited your passion for math? Scheele: Ballet and math are very similar to me.

By Mack Burke

with TEDxOU presenters Emily Scheele and Victoria Bautista

Dancing is a way to visualize an abstract emotion; formulas are visual representations of abstract relationships. Both arts allow me to convey ideas in a clear and relatable way. NTown: Kids today often seem to have an aversion to it. Many of them have probably at one time or another said, "I'll never use this." What would your response be? How does math influence our lives? Scheele: Saying “I hate math” is like saying “I hate being able to write in a coded language that everyone can understand.” That is not boring — that is cool. Writing a=b & b=c => a=c is a lot easier and more concise than saying, “Andy wrote the same number of books as Ben and Ben wrote the same number of books as Clara, so Andy and Clara must have written the same number of books.” They mean the same thing, but there are eleven characters in the former and one hundred and twenty-two in the latter, not to mention that one is written in English and the other is written in a universal script. For those who are still unconvinced that math is relevant or worthwhile, I encourage them to see "The Imitation Game" and consider whether World War II would have been won without passionate mathematicians. NTown: Is there a special part of the brain that deals with numbers? Is that the old left-brain, right-brain construction or something different altogether? Scheele: There is a special part of the brain designated for dealing with numbers! Your “number module” is located in the left parietal lobe, although communication with the right hemisphere is vital for higher-level mathematical

processing. NTown: Your presentation deals with intrinsic components of math that are independent of learning. Is math a universal language? To that end, if aliens were to visit Earth, would their math be the same? Scheele: Humans, tigers, birds, fish, and (I am certain) aliens all use the same mathematics. There will always be two halves to a whole; pi will always be the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter; and Hydrogen will always have five fewer electrons than Carbon, whether people are there to prove it or not. NTown: What's your favorite math joke? Scheele: Why did the Romans never find algebra challenging? … Because X was always 10. Ntown: For the uninitiated, what would you tell them about TED talks? Why are they such a big deal? Scheele: TED talks are giant sessions of show and tell for adults. They are accessible to people all over the world, and often incite relationships or ideas that would never have been possible otherwise. They are speedy to watch and appeal to all walks of life, inspiring viewers to listen and contribute for their own or a greater good. Ntown: What's your favorite TED talk? Scheele: Arthur Benjamin performs “mathemagic” in this one: www.ted.com/talks/arthur_benjamin_does_mathemagic. I think he may be a wizard. ———

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ner. It's been said that there is a "style" to spoken word, but the main goal in the art form is to keep pushing boundaries and figure out innovative ways to express one's self. I started performing in college. A friend took me out to an open mic in New York one night and I was hooked. When I found OU Write Club's open mic at Secondwind, I started attending regularly and it's become a central part of my life. Since then, I've competed on the Oklahoma City Red Dirt slam team twice and represented OKC Red Dirt in individual competitions as well.

NTown: Were you tapped for TEDxOU or did you seek it out? Bautista: I personally sought out an opportunity to speak at TEDXOU. I had seen several talks from past events and responded almost immediately to the application. NTown: TED talks are often tied to scientific fields but there's a full spectrum of topics under their umbrella. How do language and culturebased performances like yours fit the bill? Bautista: Even though TED talks are usually scientific studies, I think their catchphrase encompasses so much more than that. TED talks have been a platform for all disciplines, but at the core, they all aim to inspire people. Spoken word isn't necessarily an idea, but it is a method for expressing ideas that is accessible to everyone. NTown: What is slam poetry? Where are its roots and how did you get started as a performance

Emily Scheele

Victoria Bautista

poet? Bautista: Slam poetry is a competition style developed by a poet in Chicago named Marc Smith in 1985 in which poets would gather to perform spoken word (or performance poetry) in front of a live audience who would then select the most inspiring or engaging performance as the win-

NTown: Another TEDxOU student speaker we interviewed focuses on the power of numbers and math. What's the importance of language and expression? Bautista: Language, in all its forms, is our only method of connecting with one another. In a world that demands cooperation for survival, it's See Q&A, Page 22

movie reviews Hidden gems on

“The One I Love” (2014)

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Sophie and Ethan used to be deeply in love. As is the case with many couples, the two have grown apart, and their relationship is in need of serious repair. Their therapist suggests a trip to a secluded cabin in the woods, where Sophie and Ethan can work on their marriage, free of the distractions of the outside world. First-time director Charlie McDowell certainly has the pedigree for Hollywood success -- Charlie is the son of actors Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen. He also shows a deliciously clever ability to subvert expectations, as his seemingly simple premise begins to unravel nearly immediately. A general sense of unease leads to a most welcome early twist, which sends the film to some very unexpected places. Upon their arrival at the cabin, Sophie and Ethan’s personalities seemingly split between the main cabin and the guest house. In the guest house, they encounter idealized versions of each other, while their real selves attempt to piece together the mystery outside. In an oddball attempt at couples’ therapy, Sophie and Ethan decide to take turns in the guest house with their alternate others. This leads to all sorts of humorous and thought-provoking scenarios. Sophie’s developing relationship with the alternate Ethan -- and the real Ethan’s

By Scott Strandberg

In this age of digital media, Netflix Instant Play is entering nearly everyone’s homes. The streaming service is now a part of nearly 35 million American households, a number which is growing by the day. With that in mind, this column serves to highlight films you may have overlooked on Netflix. Everyone sees the big ads for "World War Z" and "Pain & Gain" when they log in to the

jealousy -- is one particularly engaging thread. Another clever twist comes when they discover that alternate Ethan has been making phone calls to the real world. “The One I Love” is anchored by a pair of brilliant performances, turned in by two of television’s rising stars, Elisabeth Moss (“Mad Men”) and Mark Duplass (“The League”). Both Moss and Duplass are given the freedom to show off tremendous range, as they essentially each play two separate characters. Ted Danson also clearly had a good deal of fun in a bit part as the new-agey marriage counselor, whose therapy methods include encouraging Sophie and Ethan to randomly play piano keys as part of a “compatibility test.” “The One I Love” starts off so simply that it feels like a cliche, until the facade is pulled back. From there, McDowell constantly tweaks the tropes of modern romance movies. The result is a film that never fails to amuse -- and occasionally manages to raise tough questions about the nature of modern relationships and human identity. There are plenty of laughs to be had with “The One I Love,” but this is so much more than just a romantic comedy. Elements of science-fiction, suspense thrillers and art-house dramas intermingle effortlessly -- the film never feels like it suffers from identity crisis. “The One I Love” tries to be many things at once, but this is one of those rare cases where that method actually works. “The One I Love” is rated R for language, some sexuality and drug use.

service, so I’ll recommend films each month that may not pop up on the Instant Play home screen. There won’t be any negative reviews here, just suggestions that could come in handy on that random Wednesday evening when nothing is on TV. Follow Scott on Twitter @scottstrandberg

"Whitey: United States of America v. James J. Bulger" (2014) James “Whitey” Bulger is one of the most infamous modern mobsters, as his influence terrorized south Boston for decades. He fled Massachusetts in 1994, after an FBI agent tipped him off that he was about to be indicted. After years on the run, he was finally tracked down in California in 2011. In 2013, he went on trial in federal court for 32 charges, including 19 murders. Because cameras were not allowed in the courtroom, documentarian Joe Berlinger (“Metallica: Some Kind of Monster”) trains his camera on Bulger’s former associates, the law-enforcement officers who tracked him, and the family members of his 19 alleged victims. Bulger’s intention with his testimony was to reveal the extent to which corruption ran within the government, and also to deny his alleged past as an FBI informant. To that latter point, his defense team discovers that former FBI agent John Connolly may have fabricated Bulger’s entire 700-page FBI informant file. An independent expert voices her agreement that the file seems dramatically altered, adding that files for high-level informants are usually 50,000-60,000 pages long, not a mere 700. This is where the film really starts

to get interesting. Bulger claims that he purchased his information from corrupt agents like Connolly, rather than exchanging his own secrets. The deeply dishonest Connolly and his supervisor, John Morris, receive much of the blame for allowing Bulger to flourish for so long. Morris actually testified in court that he received thousands of dollars in cash from Bulger, along with many valuable gifts. At one point, a former supervisor for the Massachusetts State Police -- along with one of his head inspectors -- says on camera that the state police knew Bulger was in bed with the FBI. As it turns out, the misconduct revolving around the Bulger case reached beyond the FBI, and into other branches of government. Bulger claims that he had a mutual deal with one of the federal prosecutors, who promised to keep him immune to charges, as long as Bulger provided protection in exchange. Former FBI agent Bob Fitzpatrick is one of the film’s lynchpins, as he is one of the seemingly few “good cops” who touched the case. The prosecution grilled Fitzpatrick, belittling and discounting his testimony, making it clear that they had motives beyond just convicting Bulger. They were also trying to cover something up. The story is all true, of course, but the details are absolutely stranger than fiction. From witnesses mysteriously dropping dead, to a top-secret safe full of documents in a special agent’s office, this is one true story that fiction can’t match. Berlinger’s film is layered like an onion -- first laying out the basics of the case, before diving ever-deeper into the world behind the curtain of

organized crime. The victims’ families seem to uniformly blame the FBI even more than Bulger himself, seeing Bulger more as a cowardly figurehead representing the FBI’s relentlessly underhanded tactics. In the end, the case becomes a microcosm of a much larger problem: the widespread corruption within the FBI, and the lengths the government will go to protect itself. The most troubling aspect of “Whitey” is that this didn’t take place in the 1950’s, or even the 1980’s. This was 2013. Bulger is a terrible person who was guilty of his crimes. There is little doubt of that. Yet there is also little reason to question him when he says near the end of the film that it was impossible for him to get a fair trial, and that the unscrupulous activities of our government will not likely end anytime soon. On those two points, Bulger and the families of his victims agree one-hundred percent. What begins as a seemingly straightforward look at the life of one of America’s most notorious mobsters ends up as a terrifying, yet level-headed, eye-opener -- one that rightfully questions our trust in our own federal law-enforcement agency. “Whitey: United States of America v. James J. Bulger” is rated R for language and some crime scene images.

“The Great Mouse Detective” (1986) In the mid-1980’s, Disney nearly discontinued their animation department. “The Black Cauldron” had failed miserably at the box office in 1985, and new CEO Michael Eisner wasn’t convinced that animated films were still a profitable option for the company. Roy E. Disney — Walt Disney’s nephew — took over the animation department, with the mission of salvaging its commercial viability. “The Great Mouse Detective” was the first animated Disney film under Roy E. Disney’s supervision. It wasn’t a huge hit, but it made enough money to convince Eisner to keep the animation department running. Just three years later, this decision paid huge dividends,

when the company released the smash hit “The Little Mermaid.” Even today, “The Great Mouse Detective” is significantly overshadowed by the films that followed it -- not just “The Little Mermaid,” but also “Beauty and the Beast” and “Aladdin.” While it may not be a timeless classic like those titles, “The Great Mouse Detective” is an entirely charming animated feature, one that can be enjoyed by children and adults alike. The film is a comedic tribute to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories. Following a toymaker’s kidnapping, the man’s daughter seeks the help of Basil of Baker Street, with the help of his new friend Dr. Dawson. Horror icon Vincent Price (“House on Haunted Hill,” “The Fly”) lends his vocal talents as the film’s nefarious villain, Professor Ratigan. Back in the 40’s and 50’s, Price was a regular performer on the hugely popular radio thriller “Suspense” — a show which ran for over 21 years and aired nearly 1,000 episodes. By 1986, Price was one of the most experienced voice actors in the business. His performance in “The Great Mouse Detective” is layered with deceptive charisma and sophistication, bringing Professor Ratigan to brilliant, villainous life. The animation is nothing short of fantastic. The backgrounds are gorgeous in their lush detail, and the film simply bursts with color. Also, “The Great Mouse Detective” has the distinction of being one of the first animated films to use computer generated imagery. (CGI was used to assist animators in the film’s climactic chase scene, inside the Big Ben clock tower.) Legendary composer Henry Mancini -- writer of the iconic “Pink Panther” and “Peter Gunn” themes — provides the film with a pitch-perfect soundtrack. Rich and playful, Mancini’s orchestral score is an absolute delight. “The Great Mouse Detective” really is one of those family films that anyone can enjoy. It may not be as fondly remembered as the films of the Disney Renaissance that it preceded, but “The Great Mouse Detective” still holds up wonderfully, nearly three decades after its release. “The Great Mouse Detective” is rated G.

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album reviews

8 By Doug Hill

Artist: David Bronson Album: "Questions"

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David Bronson’s new album is big and ambitious as New York City where he resides. He’s an American singer/ songwriter who realized that all his songs contain queries so the record’s name mirrors that. One listen to this disc finds no question that Bronson’s intent was to make a big soulinfused rock n roll LP. Part of the project’s girth involves the personnel Bronson assembled to play his originals. Eleven other musicians contribute their talents and several of those are back-up singers. They are not just any back-up singers. Bronson’s producer Godfrey Diamond (Lou Reed, Aerosmith, Kool and The Gang) conjured up Robin Clark who sang on David Bowie’s “Young Americans.” Clark is married to Bowie’s guitarist Carlos Alomar who also contributes along with the couple’s vocalist daughter Lea-Lorien Alomar. It became a family affair and the warm vibe is heard throughout. Even the band photo inside the CD

By Doug Hill

package has 1970s rock swagger with long haired dudes in open neck shirts, beautiful African-Caribbean American women, one with peace sign necklace. The songs are lush and fully orchestrated with piano, synthesized strings and mandolin. A full bold rhythm section is fortified with plenty of miscellaneous percussion from handclap to soup bowl. Bronson reveals that he was going for a sound grand as the Rolling Stones or Van Morrison. What he achieved is more reminiscent of the later than the former. He’s a gentle and reflective lyricist who’s unlikely to ever unleash any “Tumbling Dice” in song. Bronson uses words such as “cessation” in his compositions. The assembled musical team create occasional lightning flashes of Earth, Wind and Fire and Sly and the Family Stone. Clark’s vocal improvisation on four tracks purloin them for her own with bone-chilling audacity. It’s the studio version of strong arm street theft. “Questions” pose none about Bronson’s ability to brew potent rock and roll.

Artist: Daddy Love Band Album: "Daddy Love Band Rocks a Parking Lot" Richard “Daddy” Love is a wellknown presence on the Norman music scene. He’s the CEO of normanmusicscene.com along with being a founder and principal of Song Writers Association of Norman. His mentoring, technical skills and organizational talents have been encouraging musicians young and old here for years. Vocalist/ guitarist Love made his new album with percussionist Frank Barry and Chris Walsh on bass. The songs are all Love originals. The album title is no joke. It was recorded live on June 4, 2014 at a tasting event in the 9 East Liquor store parking lot. This was a wholly appropriate venue for Love’s music because all but one of these songs references strong drink in one way or another. The exception is first track titled “Wanna Be Bad” and it goes to another familiar lyrical inspiration, attractive women. Love’s romantic impulses about a short-order siren who caught his attention are

coached by two internal voices urging alternately restraint and boldness. “I bet this girl does bad real good,” Love sings. “Red Dirt in Her Blood” is a second tribute to Okie femininity. His translation of naturalistic detail into poetry is spot-on. “In a pink bikini she’s a sight/ Before she swam in Lake Thunderbird that swimsuit had been white.” Anyone who has ever taken a dunk in Norman’s main reservoir affectionately nicknamed Dirty Bird knows that light red tinting actually does occur. Love’s music is further informed by Oklahoma on “Damn It’s Hot.” Rather than burning his fingers on a bottom in tight blue denim, this time the song is about our typically scorching summertime climate. Similar to when it’s hot here and the days are long, this track too stretches on into a bluesy weather report that’s generous in length. Love’s music invites you to crack another cold one and contemplate the good and bad of this place we call home.

book reviews By Mary Newport

By Mary Newport

"The Great Oklahoma Elephant Hunt" James D. Fife 2014

Good Omens Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett 1990

In July of 1975, the little town of Hugo suddenly developed a problem not often encountered in Oklahoma: elephants on the loose. A driver transporting five baby elephants to the winter headquarters of the Carson and Barnes Circus suddenly found a stampede on her hands when five new arrivals bolted for a nearby forest. Three were quickly recovered, but Isa and Lilly, two young pachyderms determined to keep their freedom, set the whole town buzzing as they dodged attempts at capture. Fife, a former University of Oklahoma language professor, has written a fictionalized version of the true story. It paints a colorful picture of the 18day search for the missing elephants and invents a host of lively characters who bring their own perspective – and their own problems – to the search. Sheriff Hal Powers, when not leading the posse or following footprints, is battling his own shyness as he tries to catch the eye of the local girl he has fallen head over heels for. His schoolmarm lady love, Gail Stewart, is frustrated by his inability to make his feelings clear, but she may find some distraction in a sophisticated New York Times reporter or a confident cowboy drawn to Hugo by the elephant escapees. Meanwhile, two local kids do their best to get in on the action – or make some action, if they need to. Their efforts, and those of various other townspeople, serve to help, hinder and sometimes just greatly confuse both the efforts to find the elephants and Hal and Gail's attempted romance. “The Great Oklahoma Elephant Hunt” is a comedy of errors with an easygoing small-town style and a preponderance of Oklahoma charm. It focuses more on the Hugo community and how it is stirred by the sudden flurry of activity than on the actual work of looking for the elephants, though it does detail some of the frustrating – and occasionally muddy – tracking necessary. It also enmeshes readers in the workings of the warm-hearted Stewart family and their attempts to boost Gail's love life, feed an army of unexpected visitors and keep a handle on the inventive pranks of youngster Shane. The story is told through the eyes of many different characters, minor and major. Nearly the entire town gets a turn to talk, but what could have been a muddle of conflicting perspectives is handled skillfully. The spotlight passes comfortably from one endearing local to another with effortless grace, leading to a panoramic view of events and a pleasant feeling of small-town cohesiveness. The book is suffused with a rich appreciation and deep affection for Oklahoma, from its geography and history to its unpredictable climate and equally perplexing residents. This lends a cozy feeling to the narrative but also sometimes leads the author into colloquial tangents and country cliches that distract from the action and derail the flow of the plot. Despite these occasional rough departures, the gentle pace is easily picked back up again. All in all, “The Great Oklahoma Elephant Hunt” is a sweet, funny read with a placid gait and a satisfying conclusion. Read if: You enjoy books based on a true story, but take them with a grain of salt. Don't read if: You're not a fan of rust, dust, pickup trucks and good ol' boys.

“Good Omens” is not, by any chronological definition, a new book. It was first published in 1990, before Neil Gaiman became the Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett became Sir Terry Pratchett. Nor is it technically a classic; if we judge books by the same standard as, say, cars, they must be at least 30 years old to take on that title. There are two reasons, however, that it is both a timely and appropriate work to consider: 1. It has just been released as a radio play on BBC Radio 4. This is a mark of distinction, an excellent choice by the BBC and a fact that has already stopped several people reading this and sent them scrambling for their earbuds. 2. There is no better way to start off the new year than by reading the most pleasant story ever written about the end of the world. 9

You see, it starts like this: The Antichrist is unleashed upon the Earth with thunder, lightning and some confusing remarks about biscuits from a chatty order of Satanic nuns. The Scourge of the World is admittedly unimpressive, but even the most evil babies tend to be small, pink and wrinkly at first. Luckily, he has all the time in the world to grow – literally, as he's supposed to shatter time, rend reality and destroy the planet when he comes of age. To oversee the child's development, Hell sends Crowley, the only demon ever to learn how to work an answering machine. To thwart Hell's wiles, Heaven sends Aziraphale, an angel who personifies grace unless someone tries to buy one of the precious books in his bookstore. After they accidentally strike up something 1.9.15 halfway between a business partnership and a friendship, they realize there are some advantages to living on Earth, like wi-fi and first editions. Unfortunately, the apocalypse is already in motion and the forces of Heaven and Hell are gearing up for their final battle. They might get it, too, if not for a bunch of meddling kids and their dumb dog. Neil Gaiman's seamless blending of modern mindsets and ancient beliefs pairs beautifully with Terry Pratchett's delicious spoofs of apocalyptic tropes and contemporary frustrations. Together they create a work that's dryly hilarious, slyly apropos and simply incredibly fun to read. It manages to simultaneously make fun of Christians, occultists, Britons, Americans, small towns, big cities, concerned citizens, supremely unconcerned citizens, modern life and the 'good' old days, without ever once ribbing hard enough to hurt. “Good Omens” is a carnival ride of satire that starts off slow and pleasant but grows faster almost imperceptibly, the tick of the clock speeding up as it counts down how long mankind has left. What begins as an easy saunter through the garden of good and evil (not Manchester, the other one) ends as a whirlwind of witchcraft, men with guns, men without guns, startled fish and extremely confused police. It also ends with an extremely satisfied reader, a good laugh and renewed faith in mankind (though technically, you can have faith that mankind will do all kinds of things.) Read if: You appreciate a good joke at everybody's expense. Don't read if: You had fun once and it was awful.

The roots of composition • Norman Philharmonic welcomes Jerod Impichchaachaaha Tate to start 2015 By Mack Burke

The Norman Philharmonic will kick off 2015 by welcoming home Norman-born composer Jerod Impichchaachaaha' Tate as a part of its meet the composer concert series. Tate, a citizen of the Chickasaw Nation, blends Chickasaw culture with classical elements to create a romantic fusion that speaks from the heart of his heritage. "My music is based in the ethos of American Indian culture. I am very much like the Russian 10 composers — Tchaikovsky, Shostakovich and Prokofiev — in that I express my national identity of being a Chickasaw Indian in my classical music, just like all the great Russian composers did in their time," Tate said. This concert will feature works from throughout Tate's career as a composer, most notably "Tracing Mississippi," a flute concerto he wrote 10 years ago. "The concerto was inspired by my trips back to the homeland ... Chickasaw Indians are originally 1.9.15 from Mississippi and we were removed to Oklahoma in the 1830s, just like Choctaws, Creeks and Cherokees and so, Mississippi is actually our old homeland," Tate said. Making trips with his full-blood Chickasaw grandmother inspired Tate to write the concerto, which he said is based on a very ancient Chickasaw song, called a "Garfish Song." "The whole piece is meant to be very strong and reminiscent of the old country. The second piece is based on an old Choctaw-Chickasaw hymn. This hymn was literally written during the removal from Mississippi to Oklahoma." Tate's music utilizes the human voice and more specifically the Chickasaw language. It's his way of paying homage to his own culture and perpetuating it through art. And though the words are in the Chickasaw language, he said singers rarely struggle with it. "The beauty is, vocalists are experts at singing anything," Tate said. "It's wonderful. That's their gig. That's how they nerd out. They sing Chinese. They sing Russian, Italian. They'll sing Kenyan and they can do it because there's a universal phonetic that they all rely on that applies to every language

Karl Sievers plays trumpet with the Norman Philharmonic during a concert last year at the Nancy O'Brian Center for the Performing Arts.

If you go •What: Norman Philharmonic Meet the Composer series • When: 3 p.m., Jan. 18 • Where: Nancy O'Brian Center for the Performing Arts

and fortunatley the Chickasaw language is very much like English in its phonetic. I have had wonderful success with choruses singing in the Chickasaw language." In fact, he said the most challenging aspects of playing his music will fall on the woodwinds. Trumpet player Karl Sievers said the most challenging aspect has more to do with keeping track of the ship. "Wearing two hats is a challenge, that is, being responsible for personnel, which means being the alchemist trying to combine the best talents and creativity along with the professionalism required to have a great group, in addition to being the principal trumpeter and maintaining that focus and readiness, makes it challenging and rewarding," Sievers said. "It is also gratifying to be part of (Richard Zielinski's) team and pulling off a daring but highly successful artistic venture in our city."

Kyle Phillips / NTown

Music director Richard Zielinski said rehearsing music from living composers is always a challenge, but the payoff is always worth it. "It is a rewarding experience to have the composer at every rehearsal commenting on how you are performing his or her music," he said. "It goes without saying that everyone in the Norman Philharmonic loves playing Beethoven, Copland or Gershwin. However, when we present music from living American composers, like Norman-born Jerod Tate, we learn so much about our history of our amazing country. Think about it. This is the first time we have seen the music. We have to search for the message in the music and try to discover the story behind the music to fully understand Tate's artistic creation. You see, the mission of the Norman Philharmonic is to celebrate American composers and the extraordinary music they create." In its fourth year, the Norman Philharmonic has previously welcomed Emmy Award winners Libby Larsen, Michael Daugherty and John Mackey for their Meet the Composer series, but having a Norman-born, Oklahoma native makes this one special in a different way. For an orchestra that Siever's said is creating "the audience of tomorrow," it's a strong opening.

CAUGHT on camera New Year's Eve celebrations in Norman Photos by Mack Burke

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Top Right: Chris Miller and Kelsey Shaw share a New Year's kiss at The Deli. Center: (from left) Conner Babinec, Asa Britson and Sandeep Rangi at The Abner's Ale House. Bottom: (from left) Will Stone, Carl Grubenman, and Sammy Abebe at The Abner's Ale House.

By Scott Strandberg

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’ve been a regular Facebook user for the entirety of my adult life. In other words, I’ve been an active user for well over a decade. Two months ago, I stopped logging in. At first, it wasn’t done with any sort of real conviction. The last post I made was on Nov. 3, when I posted the link to a baseball column I wrote. In other words, I didn’t exactly go out with a bang. No emphatic end statements here. At the time that I made that final post, I hadn’t thought seriously about quitting Facebook. I hadn’t the slightest clue that I’d be sitting here months later, writing about why I stopped, and the effects it’s had on my life. As it turned out, the only time I’ve logged in since was in early December, when I changed my profile picture to a simple black box. The message was pretty clear — this page has gone dark. ————— Let’s be clear about one thing from the start — almost no one has a Facebook account that is an accurate representation of their true selves. I know that I didn’t. Each person’s Facebook construct is a highly selective — and significantly amplified — projection of the parts of ourselves we choose to highlight. The motivations behind this process vary by person, depending on the reactions each individual hopes to elicit. The unfortunate near-constants at play are that most people’s Facebook presences largely consist of self-serving and attention-seeking behaviors. The very worst aspects of Facebook are fairly obvious. Do you care how I feel about political issues? Do you need to know the deepest details of my religious beliefs? Perhaps the ins and outs of my health — both mental and physical — interest you? There are some things that are best discussed

with the people you actually interact with on a daily basis, rather than a deceptively anonymous mass. But that’s the obvious stuff. What I want to talk about are the things I didn’t notice until I stopped logging in, beginning with that deceptively anonymous mass I just referenced. As I started writing this, I grew curious about how many Facebook friends I accumulated over the years. A quick check shows that I have 866 -- a number which quite frankly shocked me. I would have guessed about half of that. Scrolling through them, I would estimate that I have near-zero recollection of about 100 of these people. Did I have class with her in college? Is he from my hometown? For an alarmingly high number of people, the answer is, “I don’t know.” Lots of people pass in and out of our lives over the course of the 12 years I’ve been on Facebook. I will likely never see hundreds of these people ever again. Yet, here they are, privy to just as much of my online persona as my best friends are. Regarding those personas, nearly no one is who they pretend — whether consciously or subconsciously — to be on Facebook. Relationships boil down so quickly to black and white, without a hint of gray. Most people, according to Facebook, have a flawless bond with their significant others. Their children are also uniformly perfect. It’s all just a modern take on keeping up with the Joneses, except now there are hundreds of Joneses to keep up with. ————— I spoke with one of my best friends about all this, and he told me that he too had stopped using Facebook. I asked him why, and this was his response: “The naked displays of self-consciousness were more unpleasant than the occasional useful update was pleasant.” This is an extremely important

point. The term “overshare” has entered popular vernacular for a reason. The degree to which people broadcast their insecurities to the world through Facebook is inexplicable. Give me five minutes with a random person’s Facebook activity, and I can probably identify several areas in which that person lacks confidence. Posting too many carefully posed selfies, checking in on every trip to the gym — guess who has body-image issues. Littering your boyfriend’s page with several posts per day — even if it’s just links to cute cat videos — makes you look quite possessive and clingy, doesn’t it? How about the guy who updates his status with vague non-statements (“I’m getting a bit nervous ... ” or “Tonight could be great!”), which require others to ask questions in order to figure out what he’s talking about? Looks like we just found ourselves a pretty lonely person, shooting off flares into cyberspace like a castaway on a deserted island. I could come up with examples all day long, but I think you get my gist. Whether or not they realize it, people broadcast their self-doubts on Facebook for hundreds of people to see. I’ll freely admit that I’ve been guilty of it myself in the past. Do you really want everyone you know — and many people you don’t — to have this much intimate information about you? If not, why do you keep sharing it so openly? ————— The most significant personal development I’ve experienced throughout this experiment is that I find myself being far less judgmental of others. I’m almost certain this is due to not having constant access to this mass overshare. By actively choosing to cut myself off from this flow of information, I enter social situations with a more open mind. I like people bet-

ter when I’m not being frequently bombarded with their insecurities. I’m very willing to discuss any topic at any time with my friends, but I’d rather talk it over in person than read about it on the internet. One other thing that’s been really surprising is how often people will say things such as, “I haven’t seen you around much lately!” If I had a dime for every time someone has asked me why I haven’t been getting out recently, I would have accrued several dollars by now. The truth is, I haven’t been going out any less than I was previously — in fact, the opposite is likely true. However, because people don’t have any interactions with my Facebook construct, their perception seems to be that I’ve dropped off the face of the earth. ————— Do one thing for me. Go look at your last dozen Facebook statuses. What was your motivation for making those posts? How do these statuses portray you as a person? What kinds of responses were you looking for? I truly believe that if everyone looked at their pages and asked themselves these simple questions, Facebook would be a significantly different place. I know that very few people reading this will take their own break from Facebook. My page is still up, simply because I use the Messenger app on my phone to chat with a few friends from time to time. I also like how ten-plus years of my life are preserved in pictures, in one convenient place. However, that’s about all I can find to ‘Like’ about Facebook these days. I might log back in someday, and start using it again as if I’d never left. Who knows. Either way, I couldn’t recommend taking a break more highly. We were not meant to be plugged into each other’s lives to this degree. ————— Follow Scott on Twitter @scottstrandberg

40 minutes per day — the

amount of time the average user spends on facebook. That works out to about 4.5 hours a week and 240 hours a year. In other words, the average user spends 10 full days on facebook every year. Source: facebook 13

64 percent of users log in daily

Source: Pew

58.7 percent of Americans and

Canadians — of all ages — logged in to Facebook last month. Source: Statista

338 The average adult user’s number of facebook friends.

Source: Pew

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By Scott Strandberg

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40 minutes per day — the

64 percent of users log in daily

Source: Pew

58.7 percent of Americans and

Canadians — of all ages — logged in to Facebook last month. Source: Statista

338 The average adult user’s number of facebook friends.

Source: Pew

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CAUGHT on camera

New Year's Eve celebrations in Norman Photos by Mack Burke Below: (from left) Kelsey Eichman and Aelisha Binderim at The Deli. Right: Newlyweds Audra Agent and Stephen O'Dell join Mike Hosty on stage at The Deli after their New Year's Eve wedding ceremony at The Railhouse in Norman.

A legendary voice

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Grammy-Award winning R&B singer John Legend put in a short but solid show to wrap up 2014.

â&#x20AC;˘ John Legend ends 2014 with soulful performance at WinStar Casino By Michael Kinney

Short, but impressive is the best way to describe John Legend's New Year's Eve concert at WinStar Casino. The Grammy Award winning R&B singer performed for only an hour and half, but Legend was still able to put on a show for the sell out crowd. The concert began promptly at 9 p.m. No opening acts or DJ was needed to get the crowd warmed up. As soon as the clock struck 9, the lights in the auditorium dimmed

and Legend, his band and backup singers were on stage performing seconds later. Several fans were still streaming into the auditorium as he started to sing "Tonight (The Best I Ever Had)." Legend talked to the crowd for a few minutes about growing up in the church and how his musical career began. And also how he was discovered. "I did meet a guy who has a lot of family in Oklahoma," Legend said. "He is from Chicago. His name is

Kanye West. He signed me to his production company, Good music. We started working on his debut album, College Drop out. We also started working on my debut album, Get Lifted." That led him signing several songs from his first album. They included "Used to Love." He performed several of the songs A cappella. After Legend performed "Ready to Go," he jumped into Michael Jackson's "Rock With You" and then dedicated "Bridge Over Troubled

Water" by Simon & Garfunkel to his grandmother. Legend ended the night with several of his biggest hits. He performed an extended version of "So High" before leaving the stage. After a brief moment, he came back on stage by himself and his piano playing "All of Me." Legend proved he his a talented and a strong performer. The one drawback I had was that for a New Year's Eve performance, I expected more. Despite that, it was still a huge get for WinStar.

New Year's resolutions worth keeping completely in love.

By Sarah Kirby

Be a better BFF

Let me preface all of this by confessing that I have never seen the advantage of waiting on an arbitrary date to make improvements in one's life. Life is a short trip; you only get one. But since most of the items you're about to read have been been brewing for the past few months, it's time to get it all out on paper. Without further ado, here are my resolutions in no particular order.

Turn more pages 16

My bookshelves are full with novels that I have collected since college, each tempting me with a temporary escape into fictive worlds. Rather than peruse this reading material, though, I tend to dwell in the land of non-fiction — such is the life of a reporter, I suppose. However, in order to expand my capacity for creative work, I need to read stories from other authors that excel at 1.9.15 their craft. This is the part where of the resolution where I will solicit recommendations from you, dear readers: throw a few titles my way and hold me to them in 2015.

Beef: It's not for dinner Becoming friends with others who have eliminated meat from their diet has made me very conscientious of what I eat. And I don't like the idea of eating meat. I could never maintain a vegan lifestyle — I like dairy products too much. However, I've been giving this vegetarian thing a go for a couple weeks to see how I survive. It's a decision that's already to be very difficult. So far I've found that few fast-food restaurants have delicious all-veggie options. It may be time to acquire another handy life skill, like...

Yours truly posing for wedding photos with my husband in August, 2014.

Photo by Jes Photography

Learning to cook

Stop with the comparisons

I am hopeless in the kitchen. Really, I am. The closest thing to a meal I've cooked for my husband is macaroni 'n' cheese. The crock pot we received as a wedding gift has sat in our cupboard unused — and apparently it's the easiest appliance to use. There are several cookbooks stacked on top of our refrigerator, too — all the recipes are untried. I'm running out of excuses for having the wherewithal to properly cook a meal. Again, if you have any tricks to help me overcome my kitchen phobia, feel free to share.

At the stroke of midnight on Dec. 31 last year, my now-husband, Charlie, asked me to marry him —standing together on a pier where he first whispered he loved me — as fireworks lighting up the night sky. I was elated. It was the perfect, romantic proposal — one that necessitated the perfect wedding. Or so I thought. Rather than ask my parents to pay for our wedding, as tradition seems to dictate, Charlie and I decided to fund our wedding as much as we could. This undertaking proved to be an exercise in communication and compromise, and it gave us a preview of what paying for living expenses together would be like. But I digress. After looking for "inspiration" through Pinterest and magazine pictorials, I soon found I was swooning for luxe linens and elegant tablescapes — for the "perfect" wedding. That's when it struck me — I was about to marry the most wonderful man, and I should want our marriage to be more beautiful than our wedding. It may never be featured in a statewide bridal magazine, but our wedding was perfect because we were perfectly and

Shut up and drive While we're on the subject of somewhat embarrassing resolutions, here's another: I'm terribly afraid of driving on highways. I will take all the winding back roads to commute to work and wherever I need to go. This is something that's been holding me back, but in 2015 I plan to cruise right through all of my limitations.

Few people know that one of the biggest reasons my husband and I decided to move to Moore after we married was so that I could live in the same city as Cassie, my best friend of six years. We met in Lawton where we waited tables at the same restaurant. Since then, we have always been there for each other, through heartbreaks and hardships. As my Maid of Honor, she ensured that my wedding was as stress-free as possible, and for that I'll be forever thankful. But since that time, we've only been able to hang every once in a blue moon. Here's to more shopping trips, binge watching the next season of "Orange is the New Black" and making plans to see Taylor Swift in concert in 2015.

Turn the mic up Before I found a calling for writing my observations and feelings with I pen, I was bent on becoming a singer. I performed Broadway tunes in high school with my show choir classmates and sang classic art songs and arias for regional and state solo competitions. Ten years later, all I sing to is the dashboard on my way home from work. Even if it's just for a night out at Karaoke bar, I would love to spend the night on a stage.

Cultivate forgiveness I tend to hold on to hurt much longer than I should. It's a pain that has grown and becomes something quite ugly. But seeing the trees shed their brightly-colored foliage last autumn has showed me that it's beautiful to let dead things go. It's time for me to do the same.

Even in paint, war is hell • Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art presents 'Beyond the Battlefield, depictions of war' By Doug Hill

Armed conflict is as old as mankind. Artistic portrayals of war and battle date back to when humans first began scratching pictures into stone. OU’s current exhibition titled “Beyond the Battlefield, depictions of war” contains relatively modern drawings, paintings and prints of a military nature. The oldest piece in this show is an untitled 1649 ink on paper battle scene by German artist Enoch Glocker. All work is from the University’s permanent collection but - most are rarely on display. Overall, it’s a fascinating show and one of its more riveting aspects is a 15-piece collection of charcoal on paper studies by Thomas Gilbert White. He was a Michigan artist commissioned by the state of Oklahoma to paint a h mural in the capitol building. Completed in 1928 the wall painting memorializes our 2,735 Oklahoma doughboys killed in WWI. The studies are pictures of marching soldiers, old folks at home and e still-lives of war equipment. A winged female figure in the sky represented the Spirit of Oklahoma. Draped in Old Glory she soars over our Okie stalwarts. Only a still life of a gas mask alludes to the true reality of the new century’s ghastly modern warfare. A few WWI vintage gelatin silver print stereograph photos document a mass of

marching troops in Chicago preparing to depart for Europe while another shows a bombed-out moonscape of a French battlefield. Much of the art is WWII era, including 1942 lithograph “I Believe in Man” by Philadelphia’s Benton Spruance. He swiped imagery from traditional renderings of Christ’s flagellation, mixing it with a trio of torturing Nazis, one with a horrendous smile. From the same era is a charming “Buy War Bonds” poster by Taos, NM pueblo native Eva Mirabal. She was a Santa Fe Indian School trained artist who enlisted in the military and drew a comic strip called “GI Gertie” published in U.S. Army publications. War artist Mitchell Siporin’s large 1941 gouache painting titled “Guerillas” shows a group of probably Italian fighters grouped oddly around a strumming guitarist. It’s speculated to be based on recollections from his service in North Africa and Italy during WWII. The painting has a disturbing dream-like quality. Some of the art is from the Vietnam War period. Herb Lotz’s 1968 Cibachrome pigment photo print shows a U.S. 25th Infantry soldier relaxing at his Cu Chi base. He’s reading Life magazine. Cheesecake pinups are on the wall behind him. This largely unpopular war also had its share of protest art work. This show has a few examples including a piece

Doug Hill / NTown T.C. Cannon's 1971 'Drinkin' Beer in Vietnam' shows a part reality, part fantasy vision of his time in-country with buddy Kirby Feathers serving in the 101st Airborne.

titled “Big Daddy Paper Doll” by political activist May Stevens. Another Southeast Asian conflict work is titled “Seeing Buffalo-Tribute to Vietnam Dead” by Kiowa-PawneeArapaho artist Mirac Creepingbear. It’s a brilliant orange and yellow dominated acrylic on Masonite painting of Kiowa warriors gazing over a surreal herd of beasts under a blazing sun. Tommy Wayne Cannon’s (Kiowa-Caddo) 1971 “On Drinkin’ Beer in Vietnam 1967” memorializes his own time in-country serving with the 101st Airborne. He and buddy Kirby Feathers are tipping Falstaff

cans, wearing fatigues with Screaming Eagle patches on their shoulders. Long braided hair adorned with feathers wouldn’t have reflected reality but it’s what was in their hearts and souls. The Ojibwe Nation’s Patrick Robert DesJarlait painted “Chippewa Preparing for War” in 1971. It’s a brightly colored cartoon-like canvas of warriors in a forest readying an array of weaponry from ancient to modern. Native American artists are well represented in this exhibition. Overall the show’s greatest strength may be its diversity of images. It certainly doesn’t glorify

war. There was even-handed and thoughtful choice in the various selections for display between protest, the horrors of war and some bordering on jingoistic propaganda. In every era of war, its impacts have been reflected in art. The best known artist here may possibly be Francisco José de Goya. His gripping 1806 aquatint “What More Can You Do” is from the artist’s “Disasters of War” series. Its disturbing imagery appears to depict soldiers using a sword to dismember a captive. This over-200 year old etching reminds that the more things change the more they remain the same.

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CAL

Check out NTown’s top ten events for January!

• Norman Philharmonic

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When: 3 p.m., Jan. 18 Where: Nancy O'Brian Performing Arts Center • The Norman Philharmonic kicks off the New Year with a concert featuring the works of visiting composer Jerod Impichchaachaaha Tate. An Oklahoma native and Native American contemporary composer, Tate will offer the audience a first-hand insight into his rich and romantic musical style.

• Paul Walsh Gallery opening When: 6-9 p.m., Jan. 9 Where: Firehouse Art Center A third-generation firefighter, Paul Walsh started firefighting in 1979. His fond respect and love for fine art and firefighting come together in his own works,

painted using scene photos and posed firefighters from his family and his own department. Second reception Feb. 13.

• John Wolfe Gallery opening, 'People, Plants & Places' When: 6-9 p.m., Jan. 9 Where: The Depot Recently featured on OETA’s “Gallery”, Oklahoma painter, sculptor and retired arts educator John Wolfe will fill the Depot Gallery through February with

• Trevor Galvin Trio When: 7:30 p.m., Jan. 18 Where: Othello's

TEDxOU: OFF THE MAP is giving the stage to perspectives and ideas that have been overlooked, are out of our comfort zones and break boundaries.

• Cirque du Soleil: Varekai When: Jan. 28 - Feb. 1 Where: Chesapeake Energy Arena to the spirit and art of the circus tradition, and to those who quest with infinite passion along the path that leads toVarekai.

Raising funds to benefit the Firehouse Arts Center’s programs, the award-winning Chocolate Festival features samples of chocolate creations by Norman’s finest chocolatiers and restaurants. Premiere tickets

A graduate, and now a faculty member, of the University of Central Oklahoma’s celebrated Jazz Studies program, Mitch Bell has performed and recorded in

intimate clubs to Broadway tour productions.Tickets are $10. Visit normandepot.org for more information.

• Young Choreographers' Showcase When: January 22-25 Where: Reynolds Performing Arts Center

For more information, or to view online streams of past TEDxOU events, visit tedxou.com.

• 33rd annual Chocolate Festival When: 10:30 - 2 p.m., Jan. 31 Where: NCED, 2801 E. State Hwy 9

• Mitch Bell Group When: 7:30 p.m., Jan. 11 Where: The Depot

• TEDxOU When: Jan. 23 Where: Meacham Auditorium

One of Norman's best young jazz As an added bonus, there's halfpriced pizza and no cover charge musicians plays Charlie Parkerinspired bursts on saxophone in at the door. a cool trio format with a rotating cast of Norman's finest.

The word Varekai (pronounced ver·ay·’kie) means “wherever” in the Romany language of the gypsies the universal wanderers. Directed by Dominic Champagne, this production pays tribute to the nomadic soul,

a selection of his “People, Plants and Places.” For more information please visitnormandepot.org. Second reception Feb. 13.

In Young Choreographers' Showcase, enthusiastic audience support meets youthful imagination and energy with exciting results. Undergraduate

and graduate student choreography whose work has been selected by adjudication present an array of dance styles. Call 325-4101 for tickets.

are $40. Five regular sessions, scheduled every half hour starting at 11:30 AM, provide ticket holders with 10 chocolate samples. Regular session tickets are $25. Visit normanfirehouse. com for more information.

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• 'Xanadu Jr.' When: 7:30 p.m., Jan. 30 & 2 p.m., Jan. 31 Where: The Sooner Theatre This TONY Award-nominated hilarious, roller skating, musical adventure about following your dreams despite the limitations others set for you, rolls along to the original hit score composed by pop-rock legends Jeff Lynne

and John Farrar and has been adapted for the MTI Broadway Junior Collection. Based on the Universal Pictures' cult classic movie of the same title, a great musical for anyone who has ever wanted to feel inspired.

Good times and bad pickup lines • Anonymous male and female perspectives on the good, bad and ugly in online dating By Kit Fielding

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Ah, online dating. I suppose this would be the male perspective, but the truth is, given all the horror stories I’ve heard from women I’ve met via dating sites, I don’t know if I want to be grouped with anybody. Really, it’s just a particular male perspective. Have my online dating experiences been fruitful? Well, not to sound Clintonian, but define “fruitful.” Let’s say I’ve been very fortunate. I’ve put myself out there and I believe received well. Upon entry, as well as exit. Because when you think about, even if you find a lasting love, every meeting you have with anybody — but one — is bound to end. Probably, all of us have more than one ONE, but if it takes you five years to find even one of your ONES, haven’t you still struck a bargain? So, at least at this time, “fruitful” amounts to having spent terrific and memorable time with terrific and memorable women who simply happened to not be a ONE, just as I was not one of theirs. So, it’s been fruitful. Also, alas, here I am, still single. Just as my counterpart has offered five things of which to make note in the online dating world, so will I.

It’s not for sissies: You may be convinced you’ve found somebody who’s so cool, so interesting, who laughs at your jokes at just the right places, who sometimes offers her own and, holy cow, they’re funny, too. Though you know love takes time, you’re nonetheless playing out a future in your head, blah, blah, blah. And even though she thinks you’re hilarious and good looking — she probably didn’t agree to the date in the first place if not for that — she will nonethe-

less tell you she feels no spark, no great connection. Frankly, you may have a date in which you tell somebody the same thing, even as they’re feeling everything they want to feel about you. And you’ll even mean it. So, it’s not for sissies. Deal with it.

You can’t avoid duds: You just can’t. Well, unless you’re a total narcissist and all you care about is what they look like. Because, inevitably, you will

go out for drinks with a beautiful woman, both of you with high hopes and their will be zero chemistry, zero connection. Nada. Zilch. See. You. Later. Well, you can handle that however you want. One way is to swallow hard and simply take one for the team and know it’s an hour or two of your life you’re never getting back and at the end of it you’re going to hug her and tell her you’ve had a great time. That is, you’ll lie, and in this one case, it’s permitted. Because she

will tell you the same thing and she’ll be lying, too.

Some women don’t exist: If you become a “favorite” of somebody who’s beautiful, 10 years younger than you and with a threadbare profile designed to appeal to everybody, and you engage with them … well, just know you’re chatting with a ghost. Occasionally, I will send back something that says, “You know you don’t exist, right.” And a message will come back asking me to e-mail or text, to continue the conversation and, oh by the way, they’re pursuing their Ph.D in Nairobi or Lagos or Santiago. I presume any schlub sticking around for two more notes will be receiving a cash request.

Honesty is a great strategy: If somebody is just knocking you out with their appearance; or if you’re terribly nervous about something you don’t have in common; or if there’s something about you that you think will give them pause and you’re anxious about it. TELL THEM. In the first case, you’re being shallowly flattering and they’ll enjoy it; in the second they’ll appreciate the honesty; and in the third you’re coming clean and again they’ll appreciate the honesty and, guess what, you’re secrets are bound to come out anyway, so you might as well put them out there. Also, lies are exhausting to remember. Even if they seem harmless, even if they are harmless, you’re still asking to be exposed as, you know, a liar.

It’s a lot like high school, college and your early 20s, only you know now what you didn’t know then and so do they: Are you listening? Do you get it?

You’re an adult. They are, too. Both of you probably want to find something that will bring romantic bliss for the rest of your life. But not everything short of that is a waste of time. Commiserate. Connect as far as the connection both of you are feeling allows. Be there for each other to the point at which your interests continue to be mutual and enjoy your moments and don’t regret departure. Because dating’s not for sissies. And people need each other. Only one story will last forever, but there are many good stories to be had.

By Minnie Gertrude

I'd like to start out by saying I'm not here to bash online dating. I'm just here to give people a glimpse of what I've experienced as a woman who entered the world of online dating, not knowing what to expect. For the record, online dating has been just as unsuccessful for me as dating people I didn't meet online. That sounds slightly depressing, yet somehow I'm still incredibly happy with my life. There's been a few bumps in the road, but overall I feel like it's been an educational experience that's not only helped me learn more about myself, but about the other sex, as well. The ratio of bad dates to good dates is about the same. Other-

wise I wouldn't still be single, right? And while I have taken a sabbatical from online dating (it can get a little overwhelming), I haven't given up hope just yet. So ladies, if you're thinking about joining the world of online dating, here are five things you might want to know. I realize they kind of sound like horror stories, but honestly online dating isn't all that bad. Anyway, here we go:

Beware. There are married men on dating sites. This probably doesn't come as a shock to some people, but my mouth dropped the first time a married man messaged me. My body still involuntarily shivers when I think about it. Enough said.

You will encounter pickup lines that will make you laugh, cringe and roll your eyes. Some of my most memorable ones: "You must be on fiya cuz I wanna stop, drop and roll with you"; "What color of toenail polish are you wearing?"; "Your face is adorable I just want to squeeze it and smooch you!"; and then of course the standard "booty call" message. That last one always makes me wonder. Is the guy trying to "booty call" me because he's had a history of success? And if so, what are you ladies thinking? Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but it's hard for me to fathom meeting up with a complete stranger who could possibly be a lunatic, murderer or rapist. Maybe I've seen too many episodes of CSI. Or maybe I just try my best to value and respect my body and life.

Giving out your phone number is not advisable. Again, there are crazy people out there.

These are the facts of life. You can send as many messages back and forth to the guy as much as you want, but until you meet him in person (preferably in a very public place in the middle of the day letting friends know where and who you will be with) you won't know what he's really like. Technology is easy to hide behind and people can be completely different behind the screen. Take it from someone who learned the hard way. A series of novel-length texts, pleading voicemails, three blocked phone numbers and several hateful online messages later, I was finally able to shake the guy. Never again will I give my phone number out to someone I meet online until I determine in person whether or not he is a nut job. Save yourself the trouble.

This pertains to both sexes, but I thought it would be good to include anyway. You will have some great conversations. I've met some interesting, intelligent people online. But sometimes that's all it is, a great conversation, nothing comes out of it. Appreciate it for what it was and move on - they probably already have if you're not hearing back from them.

Last, but not least. If you do find someone through the world wide web and end up hitting it off with them, go all in. Don't put him on the back burner because you're messaging five other guys. Make the best of it. Have fun. Fall in love. It might not end up working out... but what if it does? That's kind of the whole point of online dating, right?

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Just sayinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

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Q&A: (from page 5) key that we learn how to communicate and how to do it efficiently while making the point we want to. However, whereas math is stable, language is mutable and can easily shift from speaker to listener. It would probably be easier if we could just drop language, but it quite literally gives meaning to the universe. Perfecting the use of language and further, expression (whether by learning languages, practicing oration, writing a book, etc.) gives a person the opportunity to create something outside of one's self and then share it with other people. NTown: What's your favorite TED talk? How have TED talks influenced your life? Bautista: There is a long playlist of TED talks on my YouTube account by various spoken word artists. Both Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye from Project V.O.I.C.E. have done TED talks in the past and

they are two of the first spoken word poets I followed and learned from. NTown: What do you hope that people take away from your performance? Bautista: Knowledge of an up and coming art form. Spoken word is a relatively young kind of poetry, but the community is growing. If even one person leaves the auditorium with the desire to try it out, I'll be over the moon with excitement. Ntown: Why should people be excited for this event? For somebody who had never heard of TED talks, how would you even describe them? Bautista: It's a fun opportunity to meet some of the brightest minds on campus and around the state and find out what they've been up to in their spare time. A lot of great research and interesting projects go on in this state and on our campus on any given day and it'll be cool to see some of them.

For those who haven't had the pleasure of spending hours clicking through a TED talks marathon, TED is the coolest lecture series you'll ever be able to access online and for free. Imagine a room full of highly intelligent and incredibly friendly teachers with answers to all of the questions you've ever had about anything (and definitely a few that you probably haven't had), that's TED. NTown: Where can people go to enjoy spoken word in Norman? Is there a community for word junkies? Bautista: One of the best things about spoken word is that it's an open community that invites writers of all kind. If you have something to say, open mics like OU Write Club (every other Thursday at 7:30 p.m., Secondwind Coffee) welcomes all members of the community. There is a vibrant poetry scene in Oklahoma which can be accessed by anyone and everyone.