In the Shadows

FRIEND, RELATIVE, THIEF

By Marie Elium

Older adult maltreatment — elder abuse — holds its grip on society’s vulnerable adults with an uncomfortable frequency, hiding behind trusted relationships, isolation and illness.

This story is the second of a three-part series on elder abuse. We’ve defined the issue with facts and numbers in our first story, “In the Shadows: The Elder Abuse Epidemic,” in the March/ April issue of Northeast Ohio Boomer magazine. You can find the story online at northeastohioboomer.com.

In this issue, we introduce you to the most common and under-reported form of elder maltreatment: financial abuse. We’ll offer an action plan In our September/October issue for victims and families.

— Marie Elium, editor

“How much this time?”

The conversation between a Lake County man and his 83-year-old mother follows a predictable and heartbreaking script. He knows by his mother’s voice that it’s happened again; his younger sister has pressured her to give her money. Reluctantly, Mom complied.

His sister doesn’t have a job. She has something better: access to her mom and to her bank account.

To most people, the badgering and bullying is a simple case of theft wrapped in a cloak of elder abuse. To those dealing with the situation, there’s nothing simple about it, says the older brother, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to protect his mother’s privacy.

Here’s the problem: Sometimes, his mom doesn’t mind giving her daughter money. After all, she reasons, her daughter occasionally takes out the trash or picks up groceries. But when the money doesn’t come fast enough or falls short of her spending needs, the daughter threatens to hurt herself. Mom gives in. She can’t bring herself to file a police report, no matter how many times her family asks her to.

This time it was $35,000. A few months ago, it was $12,000. No one knows what the money’s for, although the daughter gets packages every few days that clutter the house and a storage unit. What the family does know is their mom’s once-substantial retirement savings are slipping away.

The siblings have gone to the family attorney for help and have made inquiries with the police. Few parents—especially vulnerable older adults—have the mental strength to file charges. This mother doesn’t want to give up control of her bank and credit cards. Her finances are one of the few ways she maintains her independence.

Uncooperative victims and the crimes against them are tough to prosecute. As a result, financial abuse is one of the least-reported but likely most common ways older adults are mistreated, says Elliot Kolkovich, an assistant prosecuting attorney and community outreach representative for the Summit County prosecutor’s office.

Another Story

A Parma woman, 68, says her grown daughter lives with her. She doesn’t steal money but she uses her computer and other items without her permission, and is verbally abusive. “I’m not afraid of her, I just don’t trust her anymore,” she says.

With her privacy gone, the woman lives under a barrage of verbal abuse. “Mental abuse can be worse because nobody sees it but you,” she says. “It’s constantly on your mind.”

Financial abuse at the hands of a family member or friend often starts with verbal abuse. The abuser has easy access to the victim and wears them down through intimidation and threats, according to people who study elder abuse.

“It’s shocking to see the ways (the) elderly are abused,” Kolkovich says. With fully competent victims, like the Lake County mother and Parma woman, getting a criminal case through a grand jury and to trial is difficult without the victim’s cooperation.

The prosecutor’s office has formed the Summit County Multidisciplinary Team to support evidence-based prosecution for elder abuse when the victim is unwilling to cooperate with authorities. It’s a strategy used for domestic violence cases, which often have a cycle of violence followed by regret on the part of the abuser and embarrassment for the victim. The goal is to understand the victim’s reluctance to press charges while acknowledging that a crime was committed and should be prosecuted.

Kolkovich says the local county office of adult protective services is the best place to start if a family suspects an older adult is being abused.

All this leaves concerned family members in a tough position. No one wants to take advice from their child, no matter how old that child is, Kolkovich says. He recommends pulling in a trusted outsider to talk about the abuse.

“Nobody likes to admit they can’t do what they want to do,” Kolkovich says. “Try not to be so judgmental. Come from a position of assistance” when a loved one confides that someone is forcing money from them, stealing items or abusing them in other ways.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MONEY?

Signs of Financial Abuse

• Sudden changes in bank accounts or banking practices, including an unexplained withdrawal of large sums of money by a person accompanying the older adult

• The inclusion of additional names on an older adult’s bank signature card

• Unauthorized withdrawal of the older adult’s money using their ATM card

• Abrupt changes in a will or other financial documents

• Unexplained disappearances of funds or valuable possessions

• Substandard care or bills left unpaid despite the availability of adequate financial resources

• Discovery of a forged signature for financial transactions or for the titles of the older adult’s possessions

• The sudden appearance of previously uninvolved relatives claiming their rights to an older adult’s property or possessions

• The unexplained sudden transfer of assets to a family member or someone outside the family

• The provision of services that are not necessary

• An older adult says someone’s stealing from him