5 minute read
When elopement is the perfect wedding day
When elopement is the perfect
wedding day BYJODI BRYANT
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Christchurch’s Olivia PakuWhite never wanted a lavish wedding so eloping to Paihia was the perfect solution.
The Bay of Islandswaterside location held special memories of their engagement two yearsearlier and became their subsequentbaby daughter’snamesake.
Olivia matched with Shanon, 41, also from Christchurch, on Tinder eightyears agoand the couple clickedover their shared whānauvalues.
“Ourfamilies are very importanttous so that wasprobably the biggest attraction,” says Olivia, 39.
They eventually moved in together having Shanon’sdaughters - Keiarna, 20, and Jordyn, 16, froma previous marriage,every otherweek, before theirown daughter Kahutia, now four, joined thefamily. After an idyllic holidaytothe Bay of Islands, Shanon plotteda consequent engagement proposal there.
“Shanon had said itwas a culturalwork triptoWaitangi and that they couldtake partners but it turned out it was just us, and his boss was in on it,” tells Olivia.“We’d spent a lovelyafternoon sipping cocktailswith nibblesatZaneGrey’s(Restaurant and Bar) and, that evening,weresitting ona loungerat the end of the pier with all the lights on and he proposed.”
They returnedtoChristchurchtobegin planning theirwedding. However,both from largefamilies, Oliviastruggled with the idea of a traditionalwedding.
“It’s never beena big dream of mine. My brother and sister both had the big lavish wedding, whichI enjoyed, butI knew itwasn’t for me. Itwas never something I’d envisioned. I’m an out theback, inthe kitchen sort of person. Neither of us are onestobecentre of attention– we’requite happy to melt into the background,” sheexplains.
“I pondered the idea of doing the big wedding butI couldn’tfollow through with it or justify spending all that money.”
So they decidedtotakethe girlsfor afamily holidaytothe scene of their engagement exactly two yearslater and, while they were there, marry.They just didn’ttell anyone.
“My sister and her husband and three children decidedtocome on holiday with us andweonlytold them and our girls the night before thewedding,” says Olivia“We’d saidwe weregoingto gofor anice dinner somewhere sotopacka nice outfit but they allpanicked andweren’t happy with what they’d packed sowehadto gointo town (Kerikeri) the next morningtofind new dresses!” she laughs.
They hadtheir hairstyledata local hairdresser’s, amake-up artistcametothe hotel roomandOlivia’ssister arrangedthe flowers.
Local celebrant MelanieVezey hadfound a locationtofit their criteria– outsidebut privatewithwater views– at an expanse situated betweentheWaitangiTreaty grounds andgolfcourse.
Theceremonytook place at 2pm, inkeeping with the theme of ‘twos’ within the date –22/2/22.“We thought, ‘why not add another two in there’,”Olivia laughs.
Afterwards, they enjoyed platters and pizza atZane Grey’sand,by6.30pm,wereall in their
The Bay of Islands was the scene for a surprise proposal and a surprise wedding.
togs swimmingatthe beach below.
“Itwas forecast forrain but theweatherwas perfect,” Oliviareminisces. “Itwas just how we wanted it; very low-keyandrelaxed. Itwasn’t stressfulatall. My sister and her husband said, ‘We wishwe’ddone this!’.Everyone hada nice time andI think the best partwas thefactwe all enjoyed the moment and the kids enjoyed it because itwasn’ta long, drawn-out day.
“Bothcoming from bigfamilies, itwould have been sooverwhelming.”
But alas, they hadto gohometofacethe music, with their announcementreceiving mixedresponses.
Says Olivia:“Whenwegot back, twodays later,itwas our daughter’sfourth birthday so everyonewas coming around anyway sowe told them all then. Some of thefamilywere like, ‘Good onyou,you did what youwantedto
From left: Olivia, 39, Paihia, 4 weeks, Shanon, 41, Keiarna, 20, Kahutia, 4, Jordyn, 16, and their dog Shadow. The family are wearing pounamu/greenstone necklaces from the wedding ceremony.
“We decided, instead of a sand ceremony or lighting of a candle to signify the joining together of two families, we had a pounamu korowai of love ceremony where together we were all given a pounamu necklace each. We even had one for Paihia, " says Olivia.
do’.Eventuallyeveryonewas happy for us but gutted they weren’t there whichwecan understand/acknowledge.”
However,inattendance at their nuptials, albeit in utero, was theirbaby daughter, after Olivia discovered shewas pregnant in December.
“The dress that Ihad originally picked no longer fitatall but it meant that we were all there in someway.”
Paihia (Pai= good, hia= here)was born six months later and has, aptly toher name, been the dream baby.
“People here in Christchurch say, ‘Oh, that’s anice name’,and they’ve never heardof the place,” says Olivia. “For us, it has sucha special meaning aswegot engaged inPaihia,returning two yearslater to get married (whilst pregnant) so it made sense that we named our miracle rainbow baby Paihia.” It's 2022and loveisstrongerthan ever.But when itcomes to makinga publicand legaldeclaration of that commitment, more couplesare choosingtodownsize. Weddings, once big affairswith relativesandfriends fromfar and wide, are now being scaled downtoimmediatefamilywithcouples optingfor a low-key, lowcost, effortless elopement (andtaking the flack later!).
However,smallweddingscan mean the likes of splashing out on anexclusive holiday home withcateringbya privatechef or a hilltopceremonyfollowed by dinnerata finerestaurant. And, ofcourse, there’s still thewedding day finery,hair and makeup, flowersanda greatphotographertomake the day special.
Whangārei-basedcelebrant MelanieVezey says onecouple went ahead with their dream day, despite guests having to cancel.
“Mel andNick hadtheirceremonyatLiddington Gardens as planned but with only two couples, their best friends,as guests. Theyhada beautiful headtableand the whole place tothemselves.”
A Timarucouple madea Paihia holidayextra special fortheir friends andfamily whoweren'tgoingtomissa doublecelebration.
“Derek agreedtogiveLisaa weddingring on her50thbirthday, so itwas double theparty anda goodway for himtoremember their anniversary.”
Melanie says that her elopementvenues have ranged from thetop of Duke's Nosetothetop of Urupukapuka Island but, no matter the location, being privytoa couple's privatecelebration is the highest honour.
“Janinne and Phillip, together for 15years, risked the wrath of their five grown daughters and ‘ran off’ to marry at Paihia Holiday BeachResort. It was their day and theirs alone. They knew they would both cry during theirvows; what they didn't know is that they'd getmegoingtoo.”
And Chrislyn and Aidan chosetohave their elopementatCliff Top cottagein Mahinepua,a specialgetaway they retreated to time and again through their datingyears. Itwas just goingtobe them and their beloved Oatis until Aidan's familyfound out and made the journey from Auckland.
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Chrislyn and Aidan eloped to their favourite spot in Mahinepua with Melanie Vezey as their celebrant.
