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NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • march 25 - march 31, 2019 • Vol. 29 No. 12

B L U E

T R A C T O R

B A R B E Q U E

Pig + Pint SUNDAY – THURSDAY EVENINGS THE PRICE INCLUDES A PINT OF MICHIGAN CRAFT BREW! BEER CHEESE MEATBALL MAC House ground pork, local ale, creamy cheddar blend, roasted creminis, caramelized onions. 18

PIG DADDY Ground pork burger, house smoked natural ham, crispy pork belly, smoked cheddar, haystacks, chipotle BBQ sauce, crunch roll. 16

PIG PLATTER Smoked pork chops, chipotle apple chutney, cheesy pork fritters, loaded mashed potatoes, pork and beans. 22

HAM AND CHEDDAR HOAGIE House smoked natural ham, white cheddar, lettuce, smoked tomato jam, banana peppers, herbed mayo, toasted ciabatta. 15

All pork courtesy of Recker Swine Farms in Empire, MI.

423 S UNION ST, T R AV ER SE CI T Y

2 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

Email info@northernexpress.com and hit send!

The Cooing of Pigeons My wife’s elderly cousin had moved into a nice care home to spend his final days.

When I went to visit him, there was no television, and I asked him why. “Don’t want one. It stresses me out.” Every time we visited him, his door was open, and he was out and about with his walker, visiting people instead of watching the tube.

After he was gone, I decided to see what it would be like to go without a television, even for an evening. I went into our bedroom after supper and just lay down to listen to the sounds going on around me in our house. It was amazing!

My son had spent the afternoon fixing me his special clam chowder. After supper, my wife cleared the table, and I could hear the swish-swish-swish of the dishwasher.

I looked around me on the bed, and there were the three cats and the dog spending time with me. Maybe they were there because I wasn’t trying to change them into something they weren’t. I do that to my wife, from time to time.

She and my son then sat down in the living room, and I could hear them talking about nothing in particular. The sound of their voices was familiar and pleasant. It reminded me of the cooing of pigeons. I felt connected to my family in a way that had long ago been lost.

We do ourselves no favors by constantly filling our lives with the white noise of television. Take some time to turn off the tube and just listen to the love that surrounds you in your home.

William E. Scott, Traverse City The Sixth Great Lake: Groundwater Everyone knows Michigan is the only state surrounded by the Great Lakes, the world’s largest freshwater system.

We remember all five with the acronym H.O.M.E.S. But, according to acclaimed author and environmental policy advisor, Dave Dempsey, there is a sixth Great Lake: Michigan’s groundwater. Unseen and undervalued, our groundwater, equal to Lake Huron in volume, replenishes 40 percent of Great Lakes water and cannot be ignored.

Michigan is the only state that lacks statewide septic regulations. We have

Barbara Stamiris, Traverse City 100 Years of Evil If you climb into overheated water, you will get out quickly. In the 1980s there were many instances of people getting in hot tubs to relax, but the temperature accidentally rose and slowly cooked them. On March 23, 1919, Benito Mussolini convened the first meeting of his fascist movement, and in a few years was soon followed by Adolph Hitler. These two fascist leaders quickly turned the heat up on Europe, and sensible people responded with World War II. March 23, 2019, is the 100th anniversary of that first meeting, and fascists can celebrate, having learned the lesson that gradual change is the easiest way to exterminate democracy. Democracy must go, if there is to be a powerful centralized government. When “We the People” control our government, it is democracy. When a few wealthy elites, a few generals, or a few theocrats control the government, it becomes fascism.

Mussolini started his own newspaper.

He began with support from Italian industrialists, and he found his natural constituency in war veterans, playing on their nationalism, their sense that the country owed them something. By 1920, Mussolini abandoned the socialist ideology that up to that point he loudly declaimed.

He cast himself as the champion of law and order and national pride.

Neither Pope Pius XI nor Mussolini had any sympathy for parliamentary democracy.

Neither believed in freedom of speech or freedom of association. Both saw socialism

as a grave threat. Italy was mired in crisis, and the current political system was beyond salvation.

Mussolini understood that people were driven by emotion, and that their reality had less to do with the real world than with the symbolic one he could fashion for them.

Nothing but the time and place has changed, so just enjoy the hot bath.

David Petrove, Interlochen 12 Years: Think About It “Since President Trump’s election — and the dumbing down of America by his supporters — I’m reconsidering my aversion to artificial intelligence!”

As soon as I saw the above on social media, I just had to share it on Facebook.

But I also feel a need to pass it on (along with a sense of frustration) to those of my other friends who might not be similarly addicted to the internet.

Neighbors, we’re already nearly half a year past the separately researched, written, and published scientific reports issued respectively by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and the U.S. National Climate Assessment (which was endorsed by all non-politicized agencies of our federal government).

Both detailed reports give us humans about 12 years to decisively act to mitigate those carbon emissions causing global warming and negatively impacting climate.

Since there’s a commanding consensus by most international scientists studying these issues — coupled with plenty of data-driven evidence, including a global plethora of fast-increasing, extreme weather incidents — the problem here in America is that we’ve allowed climate change to become a highly politicized charade in which some elected/ appointed officials see it in their short-term interest to act dumb.

My private-citizen plea to you, therefore, is to act smart by educating yourself to the current and near-future danger posed by these trends. And please do question the inaction of our officials — local, state, and federal. No, the sky isn’t falling tomorrow, but if (as in recent decades) we foolishly delay any longer, far worse outcomes might befall our families in the years to come.

Frank W. Hawthorne, Petoskey

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more private wells than any other state, yet we allow sewage and toxic plumes to contaminate our water. Some counties, like Benzie, have led with their own septic regulations, but without statewide minimum standards, we’re taking our most precious resource for granted. Last year, after a day of listening to experts urge protection for Lake Leelanau, the County Commissioners there voted against taking any action that might restrict property owner rights and financial interests, so septic regulations were not adopted.

Michigan also ranks 50th in government transparency. We’re the only state that hasn’t required financial disclosure or allowed FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) requests of our lawmakers. This has allowed moneyed corporate and private interests to flourish behind closed doors. Last year’s lame duck session swiftly and callously cemented those public-private agreements despite (or because of) the newly elected Governor who opposed them.

So it seems that water issues and governance issues are linked. The Flint water crisis, allowing Nestle to bottle our water for $200 a year, letting Enbridge keep Line 5 operating while they build a tunnel, and a lack of septic regulation are a few of the issues that threaten Michigan’s water. And all represent legislative decisions which place private financial interests over environmental considerations.

Despite recent federal proposals to slash the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative funding by 90%, Governor Whitmer seeks to improve our stewardship of the Great Lakes. Leelanau County commissioners will take up local septic issues again in 2019. We have a new chance to make a difference in Michigan.

Pure Michigan must be more than a slogan.

We need actions and laws that will actually protect all six of our Great Lakes!

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All About

BRIDAL

Live Music

or DJ?

A guide to northern

Michigan reception venues

Should you just elope?

TABLEAU EVENTS HITS THE BIG TIME

NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • january 26 - February 2, 2015 Vol. 25 No. 4 Michael Poehlman Photography

annual engagements and weddings issue

April 8, 2019

CONTENTS features Crime and Rescue Map......................................7

From the Outside Looking In................................10 Later Skater.................................................12 Northern Natural’s.........................................14 Fore!............................................................16 Auditioning at Interlochen..............................17

dates................................................18-19 music Four Score.....................................................22

Nightlife.........................................................23

columns & stuff Top Ten...........................................................4

Spectator/Stephen Tuttle....................................6 Opinion............................................................9 Weird...............................................................9 Film................................................................20 Modern Rock/Kristi Kates................................21 Advice Goddess...........................................24 Crossword...................................................25 Freewill Astrology..........................................25 Classifieds..................................................26

Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Publisher: Luke Haase 129 E Front Traverse City, MI 49684 Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 email: info@northernexpress.com www.northernexpress.com Executive Editor: Lynda Twardowski Wheatley Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Lisa Gillespie, Kaitlyn Nance, Mike Bright, Michele Young, Randy Sills, Todd Norris For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 838-6948 Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman Distribution: Matt Ritter, Randy Sills, Kirk Hull, Kimberly Sills, Gary Twardowski, Kathy Twardowski Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold Reporter: Patrick Sullivan Contributors: Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Ross Boissoneau, Jennifer Hodges, Kristi Kates, Craig Manning Eric Cox, Michael Phillips,Todd VanSickle, Steve Tuttle, Meg Weichman Copyright 2019, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 copies at 600+ locations weekly. Northern Express Weekly is free of charge, but no person may take more than one copy of each weekly issue without written permission of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content without permission of the publisher is prohibited.

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Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 3

this week’s

top ten

those magical dames

Celebrate Women’s History Month with magician Jania Taylor in the Carnegie Building at Petoskey District Library on Mon., March 25 at 7pm. Jania presents an historical lecture on women in magic, featuring six overlooked female magicians, starting with those who paved the way back in the 1800s. Witness some of the magic that was performed in their shows. Free. petoskeylibrary.org

Vote to Bring Grand Hotel Lego Set to Life A nine-foot, 710-piece replica of Mackinac Island’s Grand Hotel, constructed in honor of the resort’s 130th anniversary, was the inspiration for a smaller Grand Hotel Lego set that, if it gets enough votes, could one day wind up in stores.

Engineer David Lorch built the nine-foot model and submitted the scaled-down version to Lego Ideas, which posted it as an official “product idea” on its website.

“Having lived in Michigan most of my life, the story and beauty of Grand Hotel really stuck with me as I learned more about its stately structure and history,” Lorch wrote in his proposal. “Grand Hotel is a family owned National Historic Landmark, a point of pride for the great state of Michigan and has been for 131 years.”

Voting is open for another 421 days. The project has received 2,961 votes, but it’s got to get to 10,000 to become reality. Search “Grand Hotel” at ideas.lego.com

2 tastemaker Swamp Soup

One of the staples at Centre Street Café in Traverse City is the Swamp Soup. Its origins trace way back to when chef/owner Pete Boothroyd expanded his juice bar at the TC Gym into a full restaurant in 1999, when the gym closed. The tomato-based soup was one of his first creations. He tried a couple versions before settling on a soup loaded with spinach and topped with grated Swiss cheese. But it didn’t really gain notoriety until it was accidentally named by a customer. “One of our customers said, ‘It looks like something that came out of the swamp.’ Another customer heard that and thought that was the name,” said Boothroyd. “They told someone else, and people started coming in and asking for the Swamp Soup. The name stuck.” The savory mix of spinach sautéed with garlic and onion is balanced by the sweetness and acidity of the tomato; the proverbial cherry on top is the cheese. And while Boothroyd might tweak recipes now and again, Swamp Soup remains basically unchanged. “It was a combination that ended up working. I might use a better grade of tomato, but it’s pretty much been the same forever.”

4 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

4

Hey, watch it!

Shrill

In Hulu’s new dramedy, SNL favorite Aidy Bryant gets a perfect showcase for her exuberant and low-key talents. She plays a Portland alt-weekly staffer ready to have her voice heard, going from a timid assistant with a jerky hookup guy to a (more) confident writer with a perhaps less-jerky maybe-boyfriend. And yes, she also happens to be overweight. So while the show is very much about body image and self-acceptance, it’s not some motivational “journey.” It’s so much more than being about a woman’s weight. It’s got so many great threedimensional characters — like her parents (played by the lovely Julia Sweeney and Daniel Stern) or her incredible, tough-love-spewing roommate, Fran (Lolly Adefope). And its sharp commentary and heartbreaking humanity make this an authentic slice of life. The biggest complaint is that, at only six episodes, when this smart and sweet series concludes, it feels like it’s just getting started.

5

6

Healthiest County in the State? Leelanau.

Northwest Lower Michigan is home to the heathiest county in the state (Leelanau) and the least healthy (Crawford), according to annual rankings released by the University of Wisconsin Population Health Institute and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.

Leelanau ranked No. 1 in the study for “health outcomes,” or a measure of how long people live and how healthy people feel while alive. Crawford ranked 83rd in the category, just behind Wayne.

In the study’s other metric, “health factors,” Crawford fared much better, ranking 49th while Leelanau ranked 5th out of 83 counties. Health factors are measurements of health behaviors, like rates of smoking, education and income, access to medical care and the quality of that care, and the physical environment, like air and water quality.

In the health outcomes rankings, Up North counties were all over the board. Grand Traverse was 6th, Emmet was 7th, Charlevoix was 13th, Benzie was 18th and Kalkaska was 29th. On the other end, Otsego ranked 40th, Manistee 49th, and Wexford 56th.

The survey can be found at countyhealthrankings.org.

stuff we love Layover-free Flights to the Sunshine State When Elite Airways landed its first flight at Traverse City’s Cherry Capital Airport (TVC) this month, airline officials must have liked what they saw; right after, they announced that that the airline would add an additional weekly direct flight to and from TVC and SarasotaBradenton International Airport (SRQ), on Florida’s Gulf Coast, in addition to its current Saturday flight schedule. The additional flights begin May 9 and are available for booking now; TVC airport officials tell us early-bird fares start at $199 each way. Bonus: There’s no charge for one carry-on or your first checked bag. Nab tickets at (877) 393-2510 or www. eliteairways.com.

Get Ready to Roll Spring fever might have you dancing in the streets, but in Harbor Springs, they’ll be bowling in the streets. On Saturday, March 30, from noon to 2pm, kids of all ages are welcome to throw bowling balls down Main Street. The “lane” begins at the intersection of State and Main, by Johan’s and Hilda of Harbor, and the games will go on in any weather — wind, rain, sleet, snow, or shine.

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A super sweet and smooth variation on Irish coffee, Awesome Coffee is as interesting on the palette as it is the eyes. Bartender April Backus first coats with sugar the rim of a tall wine glass, then adds a thimbleful of Bacardi 151. Don’t worry – that rocket fuel isn’t part of the drink. Rather, the high-proof rum is ignited, its blue flames used to caramelize and solidify the sugar crystals, which create a sweet, brittle frosting on the glass’ lip. While the flame continues, sprinkles of cinnamon are showered on, resulting in a satisfying plume of orange sparks. Black coffee is poured then mixed with equal parts of Kahlua, Carolans Irish Cream, Amaretto, and Grand Marnier. Whipped cream crowns this creation, which glides like silk across the tongue and down the gullet, a rich, chocolatey rivulet that’s sure to melt your slush-weary soul. $8.50. Find The Side Door Saloon, open at 11am daily (closed Sundays), at 1200 N. U.S. Hwy. 31, in Petoskey. (231) 347-9291, www.sidedoorsaloon.com

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 5

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spectator

by Stephen Tuttle The National Forest Service recently proposed an alcohol ban on stretches of the AuSable, Manistee, and Pine rivers within the Huron/Manistee National Forest. It was a response to the drunken crudity taking place there on summer weekends.

Private property, campsites, and developed campgrounds along the rivers were excluded.

Sadly, but predictably, a public outcry followed. More than 54,000 people signed online petitions demanding the ban be rescinded. There are problems aplenty we choose to ignore in northern Michigan, but we will not tolerate any deprivation of our precious alcohol.

summer weekends, they tried plenty of public education, strict enforcement of a number of laws and ordinances, visible police presence, and effort after effort, but still the drunkenness continued. Jumping from a riverside cliff, often to the detriment of the jumper, became so popular the state finally blew up the cliff.

Once traditions start, they are difficult to stop.

Aside from the obnoxious and dangerous alcohol-related behavior, alcohol itself is not so good for us.

More than 88,000 deaths a year are attributed to alcohol. More will be coming. Ethanol, the drug that gives our drinks their impact, is a known carcinogen.

This is not a plea for a return to prohibition.

But our reaction to the Forest Service’s on-the-river alcohol ban speaks to our cavalier attitude toward a dangerous drug and our apparent need to consume it everywhere.

The Forest Service chose to backtrack and is now seeking a solution, for at least a year, that does not include the ban. They are gathering stakeholders — and holding meetings in private — to consider new policies. They hope more public education, outreach, and peer pressure will help turn the tide and restore some river sanity.

They might as well save their time and energy.

The notion that the problems are being caused by a handful of knuckleheads while most others “drink responsibly” on the rivers is nonsense. The knuckleheads arrive in hordes, despoiling the rivers and the experience for others floating or paddling. The problem isn’t the few; it’s the alcohol being consumed by too many.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) ranks Michigan as the 10th drunkest state in the country, wedged not so proudly between Maine and Nebraska.

(Not surprisingly, the drunkest metro area was Lansing/East Lansing.) More than 20 percent of Michigan adults drink “excessively,” and at least that many binge drink, which the CDC defines as more than four drinks in one session for women, five for men. Fully 30 percent of our automobile deaths are alcohol related, and it’s hard to remember the last time a story about a snowmobile death did not include “ … authorities believe alcohol was a factor … .”

It seems we have more issues with alcohol than just on the rivers.

No one knows for sure when the idiocy started on the AuSable, Manistee, or Pine rivers, but we know it’s here. Once such a party place has been established, every weekend becomes a mini spring-break bacchanal during which common sense, and often, decency is replaced by a race to see who can kill the most brain cells.

6 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

In Arizona, where revelers float the Salt and Verde rivers by the tens of thousands on

According to the American Cancer Society, alcohol can now be linked to cancers of the mouth, throat, larynx (voice box), esophagus, liver, colon, rectum, and breasts. As a bonus, there is substantial evidence it also increases the risk of pancreatic and stomach cancer.

There is even now unproven speculation that the dramatic rise in colon cancer among younger people — those born in 1990 are twice as likely to develop colon cancer and four times more likely to develop colorectal cancer than those born in 1950 — might be alcohol related.

This is not a plea for a return to prohibition. But our reaction to the Forest Service’s on-the-river alcohol ban speaks to our cavalier attitude toward a dangerous drug and our apparent need to consume it everywhere.

There should be some places families and others can enjoy without worrying about the unpredictable and offensive behavior of the drinking and drunken set. Nature is a good place to start since it requires no artificial enhancements. And, yes, it will also restrict those safely enjoying a cold one during their river journey, but they’ll likely take less issue with waiting until they’re out of the water.

The Forest Service was right to impose the ban, and one assumes it will return in 2020 when their temporary solutions prove futile. The jerks will keep arriving in numbers, littering and offending and discouraging anyone else from enjoying a beautiful day on three of nature’s gifts to us.

If you’re going to the river to drink, then you’ve missed the point of being on the river. And if you can’t go a few hours on the river without drinking, then you have issues deeper than the river you’re (probably poorly) navigating. Since you apparently must, wait until you’re off the water and then get drunk.

Crime & Rescue ANOTHER BENZIE PROSTITUTION CASE Three people have been arrested in the second prostitution case in Benzie County in two months.

Beulah resident Kevin Bonney, 54, and Muskegon residents Kenya Griffin, 41, and Tonya Wynne, 28, face charges in a case that dates back to February.

Bonney faces charges of engaging the services of prostitution, and using a computer to commit a crime; Griffin faces charges of conspiracy, accepting the proceeds of prostitution and using a computer to commit a crime; Wynne is charged with conspiracy, engaging in prostitution, and using a computer to commit a crime.

Griffin and Wynne allegedly visited Benzie County on Feb. 18 at the behest of Bonney. Griffin allegedly waited in a car parked in Bonney’s driveway while carrying a hammer for protection.

The case unfolded just days after TNT announced an earlier prostitution arrest, one that also involved a suspect with the last name Bonney.

Elberta resident Kenneth Bonney, 57, was arraigned Feb. 10 on charges that he was attempting to lure women into prostitution.

Detectives alleged that they found a “hidden room” in Bonney’s residence that contained evidence that supported their case.

TWO ARRESTED FOLLOWING CHASE The driver of a Chevy Malibu kept on going when a sheriff’s deputy tried to pull him over, leading to a 100mph chase that ended when stop sticks forced the vehicle from the road.

A Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputy attempted to stop the car at 11:45om March 19 on US-31 South near Ellis Lake Road. The driver took off, heading east through Chums Corners to Keystone Road, where a sergeant spread stop sticks in car’s path, forcing it into a snowbank.

The driver, a 28-year-old man from Dade City, Florida, was arrested for fleeing and eluding and driving while license suspended.

A search of the vehicle turned up two syringes that contained a substance suspected to be methamphetamine, some marijuana, and empty alcohol containers. A 28-year-old woman, from Spring Hill, Florida, was arrested for possession of methamphetamine.

WOMAN FACES CHARGES IN CRASH A woman who is accused of causing a January car crash in Petoskey faces charges of operating while intoxicated causing serious injury.

Petoskey Department of Public Safety officers arrested a 34-year-old Charlevoix County woman March 19.

The woman is accused of causing a crash on Jan. 17 on US-31 near Horton Bay Road after crossing the centerline and crashing into two oncoming vehicles. Officers at the scene suspected the woman was under the influence of drugs and took a sample of her blood. Tests later showed the presence of controlled substances, police said.

by patrick sullivan psullivan@northernexpress.com

BRASS KNUCKLES LEAD TO ARREST A bizarre encounter in the Grand Traverse Crossing parking lot led to another encounter across town that involved a 19-year-old Traverse City woman who told police she was threatened with brass knuckles.

The woman reported that she had run into people in a car that she knew at the parking lot near Planet Fitness and that they had, somehow, stolen $20 from her, Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s Lt. Chris Barsheff said.

The group in the car drove off, and the woman followed until they ended up in a driveway off of Cass Road at 7pm March 17. The woman said two of the people threatened her with brass knuckles, and a third exited the vehicle, carrying a baseball bat, prompting the woman to drive away and call police.

Traverse City Police tracked down the people in the car. Those suspects said that they had gone to meet someone to whom they had promised to sell prescription medicine for $20. They said they didn’t have any prescription medicine and instead planned to take the $20 and run.

Deputies arrested the driver of the car, a 21-year-old Williamsburg man, for being an accessory after the fact; a 17-year-old male from Traverse City for possession of brass knuckles and larceny; and an 18-year-old male from Bear Lake for possession of brass knuckles.

TRAFFIC CRASH LEADS TO ARREST A woman was jailed after she drove into a snow bank.

Leelanau County Sheriff’s deputies responded to a complaint about an intoxicated, disorderly person at 10:44pm March 16 at Grumpy’s Market on M-72.

They learned that a motorist had picked up the woman on South Maple City Road in Kasson Township and dropped her off at the store.

Deputies talked to the 28-year-old and learned that she had crashed her car into a snowbank.

She was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving.

PAROLEE FACES SEX CHARGES A 34-year-old Cheboygan man faces sexual misconduct charges involving a 14-yearold girl.

Cheboygan County Sheriff’s deputies learned of alleged inappropriate sexual contact in January and launched an investigation that led to the arrest of Michael Lee Allred.

Allred, who was on parole for convictions for breaking and entering and conducting a criminal enterprise, now faces life in prison on charges of first- and second-degree criminal sexual conduct.

FIVE BUSTED FOR METH IN BENZIE A search warrant executed at a house in Beulah led to drug charges filed against five people.

When Traverse Narcotics Team officers raided the home March 14, they found people in the act of injecting methamphetamine, one person attempting to destroy evidence, and another who was in the midst of an overdose, according to a press release. That last person was taken to the hospital, police said.

Police also found $8,000 in cash, nearly eight ounces of meth and a butane hash oil lab.

Ronald Snyder, 54, of Beulah; Paul Nanni, 43 of Thompsonville; Martin Gregorski, 43, of Manistee; Lottie Zavala-Aguilar, 36, of Honor; and Michelle Conrad, 36, of Elberta face various drug charges.

BUSY ST. PATRICK’S WEEKEND Too much drinking made St. Patrick’s Day and the day before eventful ones for Traverse City Police.

Officers investigated eight cases of disorderly conduct and trespassing and several assaults.

Those numbers don’t include calls from March 15, which was the official day of Traverse City’s pub walk.

TCPD Chief Jeff O’Brien said there was only one arrest and, despite all of the calls, it was a typical amount of activity for a St. Patrick’s Day weekend. Highlights include:

At just before 11pm March 16, police were called after a group of revelers were refused entrance to Kilkenny’s on West Front Street because they were too intoxicated. The group became unruly and wouldn’t leave. During some scuffling, a woman was knocked down and hit her head.

While an officer was assisting an injured person outside of Kilkenny’s at 11:21pm, a woman hit the officer from behind and then resisted arrest. The 21-year-old Traverse City woman was arrested for assaulting a police officer.

At just past 2am March 17 at SideTraxx on Franklin Street, staff called police for help to remove a man from the property. Staff told officers that the man’s behavior was so bad they intended to ban him for life from the bar.

At 3:48am March 18, officers were called to the U.S. Post Office on Union Street where five men were hanging out in the lobby. The men were drunk, smoking, and arguing. They were told the leave the property.

emmet cheboygan charlevoix

antrim

otsego

Leelanau

benzie

manistee

grand traverse

wexford

kalkaska

missaukee

crawfor D

roscommon

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 7

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8 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

opinion

bY Mary Keyes Rogers Back in high school, there was a week each year when the Life Skills class would bestow a baby doll with an egg inside to each student who then attempted to balance the lifestyle of a teenager with the 24/7 reality of caring for a helpless infant.

Real parents, with real babies, benefit from the soundtrack familiar to all parents, the never-ceasing background song with everrepeating lyrics in their own head: Is the baby hungry?

Protect the baby.

Is the baby too warm or too cold?

What time do I pick up the baby?

Lessons were learned by the teens pretending to be parents, but the Life Skills baby dolls took it on the chin.

blame game. It is a reality. We hate when our background music comes on because now we have to deal with whatever comes next.

Something as simple as parking and walking to and from a store alone after dark raises our awareness of danger. A man has no grasp of what goes through a woman’s mind when she questions the degree of caution that she must exercise before doing this very simple thing.

To a man, the chance of his being sexually assaulted can be filed under “If I Ever Get Sent To Prison.” Women must consider the vague but real possibility of falling victim to a man’s behavior every single day. It is, in fact, the background music that keeps her safe and alive.

To a man, the chance of his being sexually assaulted can be filed under “If I Ever Get Sent To Prison.” Women must consider the vague but real possibility of falling victim to a man’s behavior every single day.

Similarly, community leaders will subject themselves to sleeping outside for one cold, maybe wet, night to understand the challenges of homelessness and hear the homeless’ background song: Where will I sleep?

Where will I find food?

Am I safe being alone with this man?

Is he going to hurt me?

Is he going to take advantage of me?

Is this man expecting that I am going to sleep with him?

What did that touch mean?

Is he going to kill me if I leave him?

Walking in somebody else’s shoes, even temporarily, exposes us to the 24/7 reality of others. My point is that until their reality is your reality, the background song never really kicks in.

I am not overstating this. White women, black women, rich women, and poor women all experience this. The volume changes, but not the lyrics. We are our history. More to the point, gentlemen, we are your history, even if you’re a good guy.

There are realities of one person’s existence that are simply too far of a stretch from one’s own to truly accept their every-minute-ofevery-day immensity.

The blind woman has learned how to best navigate her world, but I cannot begin to comprehend, nor can I hear her background music.

I believe that men are likewise deaf to the collective experience of being a woman.

More specifically, being a woman in a world dominated by men who hold power over them.

In the spirit and celebration of Women’s History Month, I hope to shine some light on this blind spot when trying to understand the gaping divide between the realities of the genders. The reality of moving through the world as a woman is only understood by a man when he accepts our background music even when he is not personally responsible for it.

As women have wrestled with fighting against their own good-girl nature, all men, including men who support a woman’s right to equality, could give us an assist by accepting the uncomfortable fact that they are oblivious to certain realities of womanhood that make our very existence quite different than theirs.

This is why a mildly sexist comment may get what seems like an oversized reaction; it makes our music come on. This is not a

Usually, the music is so low that women don’t initially hear it. Then, something small happens, and it picks up. Sometimes, we go from peaceful silence to the blasting of screaming punk rock.

Religious Interpretation Brewery worker Del Hall of Newtown, Ohio, is taking an unusual approach to fasting for Lent this year. Hall, who works at the Fifty West brewery in Dayton, is going on an all-beer-only-beer diet until Easter. He told WKRC-TV that monks from the 1600s inspired him. “(T)hey would take a popular style of beer in Germany, bock beer, make it extra hearty and that would be their liquid bread, and that’s what they call it,” Hall said.

He is, however, including all types of beer in his Lenten fast. “(T)his seems very daunting,” Hall noted. “I’m just curious if I’m up to the challenge.” He is planning to check in with his doctor during the fast.

Going Out in Style Drivers along southbound Interstate 880 in Hayward, California, were pleasantly surprised on March 4 when they saw $20 bills flying through the air. Some motorists stopped to collect as many as they could, but the mystery lay in where they came from.

The next day, members of a family, who wished to remain anonymous, admitted to KTVU that they tossed $500 worth of bills into the air as they drove back from a funeral; the unexpected windfall was intended to honor their deceased family member. It’s an “Oakland thing,” one person explained.

Scrooge Report As Clayton Lucas, 25, was being transported through East Deer Township, Pennsylvania, from a halfway house to a treatment class on the morning of March 4 (69 days after Christmas), the van driver regaled him with Christmas songs. Turns out Lucas isn’t a fan of holiday tunes, so he reached into the front seat and began choking the unnamed driver, who was strangled almost to the point of losing consciousness, according to police. KDKA reported that another driver flagged down a state trooper and alerted him about an altercation happening on the shoulder of the highway. After a struggle to get handcuffs on Lucas, the officer deposited him in the Allegheny County Jail, where he will face multiple charges.

Imagine telling a parent to stop thinking about the safety of their baby. This is the experience of being a woman in 2019. Every.

Single. Day. Believe it or not.

Let’s Make a Deal In Granville County, North Carolina, Melissa Anne Godshall, 31, and her boyfriend, Robert J. Kennerley, 46, were minding their own business, panhandling at the side of the road, when a car pulled over and Godshall received an unusual proposal: Levan Lomtatidze, 44, from the nation of Georgia, would pay her $12,000, give her a car and make rent payments for her if she would marry him so he could stay in the United States. She agreed, according to U.S. Attorney Robert J. Higdon Jr., and Kennerley served as a witness at their nuptials. Alas, this romantic partnership was not to be: On March 7, Godshall and Lomtatidze were indicted by a federal grand jury and charged with conspiracy to commit marriage fraud, marriage fraud, visa fraud and making false statements in immigration proceedings, the Raleigh News and Observer reported. If convicted, the two face 30 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. Best man Kennerley also faces prison time and fines for aiding and abetting marriage fraud.

Mary Keyes Rogers is a Traverse City resident, blogger, and podcaster. mary@ experience50.com

Idiom in Action In Ljubljana, Slovenia, an unnamed 21-year-old woman and a 29-year-old

About 99 percent of the time, it’s a false alarm, because 99 percent of men are good men.

We know that. Women also know that 99 percent of the women beaten, killed, sexually assaulted, cheated out of a job or the paycheck she deserved, or maybe just treated as a lesser person would point to a man as the human being who did “it” to “her.”

Can you imagine that? Always knowing the volume could crank up at any moment — during a job interview, while on a run through the neighborhood, commuting home from work to your family, going on a first date with a guy you met at church?

Twice this week, my music came on loud and clear. And then it stopped, and I went about my day.

relative were arrested for insurance fraud, police announced on March 11, after the young woman cut off her hand in order to collect almost 400,000 euros in insurance payments. Two other relatives were released in the case. The four had recently signed up with five different insurance companies for life and injury coverage. “With one of her accomplices, she intentionally amputated the hand at the wrist with a circular saw, hoping to stage it as an accident,” said police spokesman Valter Zrinski, according to the Daily Mail. The group left the hand behind when they went to the hospital, intending to ensure a permanent disability, said police, but doctors at the Ljubljana University Medical Center were able to retrieve and re-attach it.

The woman and her accomplice face up to eight years in prison.

Anger Management: Wedding Edition As a wedding party of 30 guests gathered on the beach at Oceanfront Park in Ocean Ridge, Florida, on March 3, Jeffery E. Alvord, 27, and his bride posed for photos before the ceremony. Trouble erupted instead when a 24-year-old man would not move from his spot on the beach to make way for the photos, the Palm Beach Post reported. In fact, Alvord told police, the man wouldn’t relocate even after being offered $50 and became “very belligerent,” so Alvord punched him in the nose. The victim told Ocean Ridge police a groomsman held him while Alvord punched him three times, and the police report noted that the victim’s “nose appears to be out of place sitting more to the right of his face,” and his glasses were broken. Alvord spent what would have been his wedding night in the Palm Beach County Jail and faces charges of aggravated battery and criminal mischief. He and his fiancee married the next day, shortly after his release from jail.

People Different From Us He’s been dubbed the Naked Carpenter for renovating his home wearing only a tool belt, but Robert Jenner, 43, of Snodland, Kent, England, seems to have crossed the line with local jurors. Jenner was convicted on March 12 of 10 counts of indecent exposure in Canterbury Crown Court. Jenner’s nudist habits have put him on the wrong side of law enforcement before, reported Metro News, but this time his offenses included delivering packages for a courier service wearing trousers with a hole cut out of the crotch, exposing himself to a teenage girl, and running past a children’s play area while wearing “see-through trousers.” Jenner’s attorney, Kate Chidgey, tried to explain her client’s behavior: “It was not his intention that people were caused distress by what he did or didn’t wear.” She added that he strongly believes in “naturism.”

Crime Report Elysia Johnson, 21, apparently needed some alone time on March 9, so she took a full cart and a six-pack of Stella Artois beer into a dressing room at Target in Lathrop, California, where she hunkered down for more than an hour, according to police. Johnson finished all the beer and left the store -- with about $200 worth of unpurchased merchandise. A loss prevention officer stopped her and she was taken to the San Joaquin County Jail, where she was held on $60,000 bail. Johnson also had three outstanding warrants, reported KTXL News.

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 9

Michigan Barn #1

Madison Street House, 2018

From the Outside Looking In A few years ago, California artist Michael Ward turned to northern Michigan for inspiration.

By Patrick Sullivan Michael Ward’s relatives, at least, have deep roots in the Up North art scene.

Ward’s brother-in-law is Rick Daigh, an artist whose work was selected for the 2019 Northwest Michigan Regional Juried Exhibition at the Dennos Museum Center.

Daigh’s son, Eric Daigh, who is Ward’s nephew, is a prominent nationally known artist who, notably, won third place at Grand Rapids’ 2009 ArtPrize. Rick Daigh’s wife, Barbara Vander Wall, is also an artist. She’s Ward’s sister-inlaw on his wife’s side. Ward’s wife has another sister, Sally Vander Wall. Her husband, Alan Wrenn, is another artist whose work is shown at galleries in northern Michigan.

Ward, though, is an outsider. He’s a selftaught artist. He’s a Californian born in Montana. Though his family connections bring him to Traverse City and a family cabin near Grayling every year, he only recently decided to use northern Michigan subject matter in the creation of his own art, photo-realistic landscapes.

In a series of paintings of modest houses and weathered barns, Ward captures a vivid, vibrant glimpse of Up North scenes from the eyes of long-time visitor. Northern Express happened upon Ward’s images online last year and, curious what brought a California artist to dedicate some of his canvases to northern Michigan, we tracked him down to ask why he loves painting houses, what inspires him in northern Michigan, and how he captures images that are at once realistic and otherworldly.

Northern Express: First off, I see you are a well-established California painter. But among your work, images of Traverse City keep popping up. What’s your connection to northern Michigan?

Michael Ward: My wife grew up there. She has lots of family still in the Traverse City area, so we’ve been going there, usually in the summer, forever, probably since the late ’80s.

Express: I’ve looked over the 19 paintings you’ve made of scenes from around Traverse City. The one that everyone will recognize as Traverse City right off the bat is of the Dairy Lodge on Division. What’s that one called, and what does that one mean to you?

Ward: That’s just called Dairy Lodge. My mother-in-law lives just up the street on Randolph, so we drove by there all the time.

When we come in the summer, we’ll walk down there usually to get something, take our grandnieces down there, and get them ice cream. And I just love that sign that’s on it — it’s very iconic. Actually, the photo I took for that, we visited once in May, my wife’s mother’s birthday is in May — I think it was her 80th birthday or something. It’s early May, so it’s not quite summer yet. And I’m taking the picture, and there’s a guy crossing the street with his kid, and he’s sort of looking back to see, oh, is it open yet? It’s kind of anticipating summer coming on, which I thought was neat.

Express: When you visit a place like Traverse City, do you set out looking for subject matter? How do you go about finding images to make paintings?

Ward: In the past, I’ve just walked around town, and I take a lot of pictures, not necessarily with an idea of making up a painting from them, but just building up an archive of stuff. I like old houses and old signs and stuff like that. It’s just whatever catches my eye as I’m walking through town.

Express: You seem to be drawn to places that have been weathered by time.

Ward: Yeah. They are always more interesting to me than newer stuff. I guess I can relate to it. I grew up in a town very similar to Traverse City. It was smaller, but the layout is very similar. So, there is a lot of stuff that I see that reminds me of my childhood when I walk around town.

10 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

Express: What about the northern Michigan scenes out in the country? Where did you go to get those images and why did you choose those?

Ward: A lot of those are on [M-] 72. When we come to visit, we’ll drive around and see the sights. I like barns because you don’t see a lot of barns out here in California that are like the quintessential barn that you see in Michigan. So, I just started taking pictures of those, and they lend themselves to painting. Also, we have a summer house outside of Grayling, on the Manistee, so we drive out there when we visit. A lot of those barns are on the way to the cabin.

Express: What time frame do the Traverse City photos and the paintings span?

Ward: Probably around 2010 or so I did my first Michigan paintings. I just wanted to see if I could do something. You know, there’s a lot of art up there, and we always go to art galleries and look at the local art. I decided to see if I could do that, so that got me started. The barns are the most iconic thing that people like. I think when I started, my first paintings were the barn paintings.

Express: And then you moved on to houses.

And I’ve noticed that houses are sort of a theme of yours.

Ward: Yeah. I’ve been doing a whole series.

It’s about just ordinary houses, like the one that I grew up in. Just simple places. They’re not elaborate, you know. They’re not minimansions. They’re just where ordinary people live. Like I say — houses like the one I grew up in. And I just expanded from that series to include Traverse City houses. There’s a lot of great little houses in Traverse City. But I’ve done houses all over the country, and even one down in Mexico, that fit into the series. They have a lot of resonance with people, you know. People

Six Buckets 2017

see these and they, if they’re my age, they may have grown up in a house like that, and if they’re younger, their parents grew up or their grandparents grew up in a house like that. It really resonates with people. It brings back a lot of memories of growing up and family and all of that.

Express: Yeah, it’s hard to sort of put your finger on what’s so appealing about them, because they’re ordinary houses in a familiar neighborhood, but the way they appear in your paintings, there’s almost something magical about them. Do you have any way to account for that?

Ward: That’s a good question, and I don’t know if I have an answer for that. You know, you see a lot of houses, and some of them resonate and some of them don’t — I don’t know really what it is. It’s probably the size and the simplicity of some of the houses.

Express: Do you think your paintings of a place like Traverse City would be different if you lived here? I mean, do you paint from a tourist’s perspective?

Ward: It’s possible. I think I’ve been there enough times, you know, I’m not a native, but I can sort of see it through the eyes of the people that did grow up there, that do live

Dairy Lodge

Mr. Hopper Waters the Lawn

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there, rather than someone that’s just coming to see the sights. I would never call myself a native, but I sort of can relate to it more than someone who’s there for a week to see the Cherry Festival, you know?

Express: I understand you never went to art school. How did you go about teaching yourself to paint in a photorealistic manner?

Ward: No. I am self-taught. I just started doing it.

I’ve taken no formal art classes, but I did a lot of pen-and-ink drawing before I started painting.

And in the early ’80s I had some images that I thought would make nice paintings, so I just tried doing it, and they came out pretty decent, so I just kept going from there.

Express: Did it take you a long time to learn how to do it?

Five Michigan paintings by California artist Michael Ward: Above, Dairy Lodge. Below: Mr. Hopper Waters the Lawn.

Opposite: Michigan Barn #1; Madison Street House; and Six Buckets.

Ward: Yeah. I mean, you learn by doing. You do something, and if it doesn’t work, you try a different way. I am constantly learning. I’m still learning new ways of doing things. You never really stop.

• Overnight stay in a King’s Suite with dinner at Reflect Bistro and 2 tickets to the State Theatre • Overnight stay in a king’s suite with breakfast at Reflect Bistro • Lunch for two at Reflect Bistro

Express: Have you ever, or do you plan to have a show in northern Michigan?

$10 cover charge for food and beverages

Ward: I haven’t really pursued that because I’m only there a couple weeks out of the year. I would love to, but I really haven’t pursued that.

Recess is brought to you by

To check out more of M. Ward’s paintings, from northern Michigan and beyond, check out tmichaelward.weebly.com.

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 11

Tyler Franz grabs does a trick on the wooden ramp. Photos by Luke Gardiner.

Later Skaters S KAT E B OA R D I N G F O R L I F E

By Todd VanSickle On a snowy Wednesday evening around 8pm, the bassline from a Primus song could faintly be heard outside a nondescript white warehouse off of Garfield Road in Traverse City.

Inside, a thin veil of smoke wafted in the air as skateboarders from 29 to 62 years old did tricks on various wooden ramps and metal rails. All told, about 12 veteran skateboarders showed up to hone their skills and socialize over a beer or two.

Throughout the night the skateboarders attempted new tricks and routinely performed old ones. On several occasions, the skateboarders crashed to the ground, sending their board careening in an unpredictable direction. Like an athlete injured on the field, they slowly got back on their feet, rubbed a sore part of their body, and then jumped back on their board to attempt another trick.

The purpose of the bi-weekly sessions is simple: “We do tricks and try to stay young,” said skateboarder Shannon Walters, 47 years old.

In recent years, skateboarding among older skaters has increased. The number of skateboarders in their 20s has doubled since 2004, and skaters 40 and up have more than doubled since then, according to www. skateparkoftampa.com Despite a high-risk of injury, skateboarding has managed to keep an older generation of

skaters hooked through its adrenaline rush, camaraderie, and sub-culture.

Eric Campbell, 45, is one of those skaters who has remained faithful to the sport.

He only missed the recent skateboarding session at the warehouse because he was snowboarding.

“There are so many great aspects around [skateboarding] that I have never wanted to leave it behind,” Campbell said. “A lot of people grow up, get careers, have kids, and quit by necessity. But it is something that has stuck with me.”

The graphic designer explained that skateboarding has helped shape his life, including his choices in clothes, music, and even career — Campbell owns Proof Positive Brand Design, a boutique design firm that counts among its clients Herman Miller furniture, the Gaylord Tourism Bureau, and The Wood Welded Companies.

His trajectory began in Florida, in 1985, when Campbell was 12 years old; his mom bought him his first skateboard. He said he can’t recall if it was a Nash or a Vader, but he’s certain of the first professional board he upgraded to: a Santa Cruz Rob Roskopp.

He spent most of his time skateboarding the streets of Florida with about five or six other friends, practicing the fundamental skateboarding trick, the Ollie.

“There were a ton of other tricks, too, but the Ollie was the main focus,” Campbell said.

His parents embraced Campbell’s passion; his father helped him build a half-pipe in

12 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

the backyard. Campbell eventually went on to win a slew of competitions in Florida and, later, Michigan, including the Cherry Festival tournament. “I used to have a pretty big bag of tricks when I was younger,” he said. “I’m just trying to maintain them or get them back now.”

Today, not as many of his friends skateboard as much as they used to.

One factor that causes skateboarders to hang it up is injuries. More than 125,000 people per year go to an emergency room in the United States for an injury that is related to skateboarding. Head injuries account for 20 percent of the treated injuries that are directly connected to skateboarding. Broken wrists and ankles account for 30 percent, according to the National Safety Council.

Campbell considers himself lucky. He has had a lot of sprained ankles and broken fingers, but nothing major.

At the Traverse City warehouse, the skateboarders nonchalantly talked about their various injuries over the years, which included everything from sprained ankles to concussions.

Ben Schuab is one who was recovering from a sprain ankle from a warehouse session three weeks prior — “Your ankle was nasty,” Walters recalled — but it wasn’t evident as Schaub easily jumped on his board from one wooden ramp to another.

“I have been really fortunate,” Campbell said. “When we were coming up, knee and elbow pads were en vogue. Today, kids don’t

really skate with any protection.”

He remembers returning to Traverse City and noticing that several younger skateboarders were looking at him funny because he was wearing pads.

“I was thinking, I am [way] older than you — I have to protect my knees,” he said.

“Long-term, I would say it is hard on the body. I am sore all the time. Every one of my joints are sore, but you just deal with it and keep going. … There’s a famous quote from the pro skater Jay Adams, ‘You didn’t quit skateboarding because you got old, you got old because you quit skateboarding.’ I think that’s a great quote and that sums it up. If you keep moving and you keep at it, it keeps all the muscle memory fresh.”

Campbell said he belongs to a Facebook group for age 40+ skateboarders and has a lot of respect for guys who are out of shape but are trying to get back into it.

The skateboarders at the Traverse City warehouse are far from out of shape. They’re all trim and wiry. Their physiques, in fact, resemble those of 20-year-old’s, rather than the usual 40-year-old “dad bod.” Watch the skateboarders for just a few minutes, and it’s obvious why they need a young man’s strength and agility.

During the first half of the night, the skateboarders warmed up on a wooden ramp doing basic maneuvers. Then, one after another, they started attempting the same trick — a front wall bash yank out — that involved launching four to five feet

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Eric Campbell plans to board well into old age - even if it’s just to the mailbox.

above the ramp, hitting a cement wall with the board’s wheels, and then kicking off the wall while grabbing the board and landing on the ground — at least eight feet below — and skating away unscathed. There were many failed attempts, all of which looked painful. But when Tyler Franz, 29, one of the younger guys, landed the trick, a chorus of skateboards slapping the concrete floor echoed throughout the warehouse as a congratulatory applause for the skater.

“It is so much fun. It is an adrenaline rush,” Campbell said. “It’s the thrill of working on trick and finally landing it. And the camaraderie. It’s all of that.”

Franz was also congratulated with highfives and hugs. The skateboarders gathered around a cellphone to watch a replay of the successful trick he had just pulled off.

Franz said he credits Schaub for encouraging him when he was a younger skateboarder.

“Ben used to give us rides to Skatopia when we were 14 years old,” he said. “I have learned a lot from him — and how to just be a cool dude and a good person.”

The mentor-mentee dynamic remains in the skateboarding world, though the number of mentees might be declining. Despite the resurgence of older skateboarders, the number of younger skateboarders age 10 and under has dropped 25 percent since 2004, according to www.skateparkoftampa.com Campbell concurs: “There are a lot more BMX and scooter kids,” he said. “I think at one time, when I was a kid, there were 15 to 20 half-pipes in the Traverse City area. We would start at the beginning of the day and skate a bunch of ramps.”

Campbell said older skaters now have a responsibility to take the next generation under their wing.

“Older skaters like me are getting their kids into it,” Campbell said, who has a 17-year-old daughter who rides a longboard.

For Carlos Santana Pulido, it has been just the opposite. The white-bearded

Carolos Santana Pulido rides his skateboard over a ramp.

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Congratulations to Lily Plowman of Drummond Island, our March patient of the month for good oral hygiene and great cooperation throughout treatment! skateboarder got back into the sport after a 20-year hiatus, thanks to his son.

“Ever since my son got me back into it, I feel younger,” said Pulido, who is 44 years old. “I’ve been killing it.”

None of the skateboarders at the warehouse showed signs of quitting any time soon, even if they were moving a little slower by the end of the night. Campbell said the key to longevity is retaining the ability to skate ramps and parks, along with lots of stretching and yoga.

“I do not see myself quitting skateboarding, unless I sustain a major injury that puts me out permanently,” Campbell said. “If and when my body will not allow me to do that, I will still be tooling around the streets on a cruiser-style board with loose trucks and soft wheels — they’re very forgiving. Hell, even a quick little roll out to the mailbox or around the neighborhood is still fun and surfy.”

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Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 13

Dennis Mackey (left) and son Kyle Mackey

By Todd VanSickle Travelers might expect to find a tractor sputtering along the country roads about 50 miles south of Traverse City, but they’ll also find the home of the award-winning Northern Natural Cider House & Winery, which is producing some of the state’s only organic-certified cider.

Dennis Mackey, 70, is the CEO of Northern Natural. He has white wispy hair and blues eyes that twinkle when he smiles.

In a soft voice he talks seriously about making organic cider at his tasting room and brewing facility in Kaleva. He grew up about one mile from the cider house and has been involved in agriculture for most of his life. At the age of 12, he recalls working on his great grandfather’s farm.

“When you’re this close to Lake Michigan, a lot of it is fruit,” Dennis said. “It is some of the best fruit growing land in the country — in the world probably.”

Dennis first tried his hand at growing organic apples in the late 1980s, before the United States Department of Agriculture had an organic certification program, which started in 1997. However, there weren’t a lot

of products you could use and still claim something organic, he said. Not to mention a slew of pesky challenges, including 43 insects and about six fungal diseases that target apples.

Between 1990 and 2000, he became more actively involved in organic farming when he managed two orchards and farm markets in Wisconsin for a well-known heart surgeon, who was interested in healthy food. When

“Once I got a hold of that, I could grow organic apples,” Dennis said.

Today, he still organically farms what was once his grandfather’s 100-acre plot with about 200 fruit trees and a garden, but it is not certified. So, he relies on three organic-certified growers — two north of Onekama and one in Northport — to produce Northern Natural ciders.

He said having his ciders certified is a

“It is an ongoing process,” Dennis said. “We are very particular. We choose apples while they’re still on the tree and grade every apple that’s pressed. We have a zero tolerance for rot. All these little things add up to produce a good-tasting, clean cider.”

Dennis was interviewed for the job, he was asked whether he could grow organic apples.

“No,” he responded. “And nobody else can either in the Midwest.”He was hired anyway, and in 1992, the Japanese developed a pheromone disruption tie that fastens to the tree to prevent codling moths from mating and creating worm holes in apples.

14 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

special designation.

“There are not very many organic apple growers in the state,” Dennis said. “The USDA certification is a rare thing in itself.

There might be four places in the U.S. that do organic certified cider. There is another one in Michigan — JK Scrumpy in Flushing — but I don’t know of any other ones this

side of the Rocky Mountains.”

Each year, Northern Natural follows a long list of requirements and guidelines outlined by the USDA and are subject to inspections.

“It is an ongoing process,” Dennis said.

“We are very particular. We choose apples while they’re still on the tree and grade every apple that’s pressed. We have a zero tolerance for rot. All these little things add up to produce a good-tasting, clean cider.”

However, creating an organic cider can be a challenge, according to the brewer Kyle Mackey, who is Dennis’ 36-year-old son.

“It is pretty limited with what you can use,” Kyle said, who is a Great Lakes Culinary Institute graduate. He learned how to brew cider about nine years ago from both a world-class brew master and a winemaker.

Before he started brewing in-house for Northern Natural, a Leelanau winery took the juice the company pressed and turned it into alcohol.

The company has five USDA organic certified ciders: traditional, blueberry, lavender, elderberry and Northern Star — a gold medal winner.

“I am pretty proud of this one,” Kyle said,

as he showed off his award from the 2016 World Cider Championships in Chicago for Northern Star. “I don’t think I had ever won a trophy before.”

The brewer also has a silver medal under his belt. The two medals now hang on a chalkboard in the tasting room that lists Northern Natural’s ciders.

The brewer is in the process of eliminating the use of sulfur in all production of its ciders. Sulfites in wine and cider production is common to eliminate any wild yeast. By introducing a known yeast gives the brewer more consistency and control when it comes to taste.

NEW LOCATION Northern Natural has been in its current building for the past three years. It is about 17,000 square feet and was once a tractor dealership. From the outside, the building looks like an ordinary pole barn. But inside, guests are greeted by the aroma of apples and 10 ciders on tap in a brightly-lit, colorful tasting room.

The facility produces about 40,000 gallons per year and is bottled onsite. The power usage is offset by 200 solar panels on the roof.

By summer, Northern Natural is planning to serve food at its tasting room.

The menu will include smoked barbeque and organic pizza.

“And whatever I come up with for seasonal specials thru the summer and fall,” Kyle said.

Outside, a wooden shelter has been erected that will be used for open mic nights on Thursdays.

“I am working out a summer weekend schedule with some great Michigan musicians,” Kyle said.

In a room adjacent to the tap room,

which is not open to the public, several jars filled with organic herbs and flowers line the shelves. The room is a test kitchen of sorts where Kyle creates organic extracts that give Northern Natural ciders their unique flavors. One jar was filled with lions mane mushrooms that he foraged locally. The brewer hopes one day to make a cider with the mushroom.

“I am not sure how it is going to taste,” Kyle said. “We are always looking for something new to infuse.”

The Kaleva-based venue is Northern Natural’s third tasting room. The cider house was on Front Street in downtown Traverse City for three years, but Dennis said the rent in Kaleva is more affordable and he lives about one mile away. His son lives in the house about 20 feet in front of the tasting room.

Northern Natural’s ciders are still available in downtown Traverse City at Tap Root on Front Street, which has four to six ciders on tap.

“My wife and Kyle thought I was crazy to move out here,” Dennis said. “They said, ‘Who would drive all the way out here?’ But believe it or not, people will drive a long way to get an organic cider.”

And customers have made the drive and continue to do so, Dennis said. He routinely has cider patrons commute from Newyago just to pick up a growler or two.

“We tend to be the first stop for cider drinkers who are migrating north,” said Kyle, who added that most customers range in age and are eager to learn about cider.

The organic hard cider can also be found at Oryana in 12-ounce bottles. At the moment, not all of the bottles on the shelf have the USDA organic seal, but Northern Natural is currently in the process of updating the labels to reflect the certification.

“We do cider two ways: fresh and hard,”

Dennis said.

By producing the two products keeps the company more competitive, he added.

The fresh cider is sold around the Midwest at retailers like Whole Foods and other smaller organic stores. In Michigan, the fresh cider can be found at various vendors and Meijer.

“We started off with the idea to do fresh organic cider in the late 1990s, but there wasn’t enough of a market for it,” Dennis said. “It took me a while to figure it out, so I decided doing hard cider in 2007. Between the two, it works out.”

WORKING TOGETHER Northern Natural employs about 10 people during the busy season. For the most part, it is a family business. Dennis’ wife does all the record keeping and makes sure the bills are paid, like taxes. And, although, his daughter doesn’t work for the company full time, she has been involved with the labels and marketing.

Overall, the family business runs smoothly, according to the father-and-son cider-making duo.

“There are no shouting matches to speak of,” Kyle joked. “For some people, I am sure they don’t want to hear it from their kid, and some don’t want to hear it from their parents as a working adult.”

Dennis says he tries to keep a good sense of humor when working with his son.

“I will tell him what I want done, and he will do what he wants to do,” he said.

However, the affable CEO has butted heads with distributors who wanted him to lower his prices, but he said he isn’t in the business for the money.

“I am not doing this to make the cheapest possible product, like a lot of people are,” Dennis said. “I am doing it to make the best possible product; the healthiest and best tasting. There is a small percentage of people out there that appreciate that — that’s the people I want to reach.”

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 15

! e r Fo The good intent of Title IX a decade ago has left northern Michigan’s boys’ high school golf teams out in the cold.

By Craig Manning In 2018, the Gaylord High School boys golf team didn’t get a chance to practice on an actual golf course until May 6. Less than a month later, the team’s players were teeing off for regionals. Gaylord’s golfers should have been hitting their stride in the ramp-up to state finals, but according to coach Tom Johnson, most were still just shaking off the rust from winter.

Gaylord isn’t the only golf program facing this issue. On the contrary, for most of northern Michigan, the boys spring golf season typically looks a lot more like the boys winter golf season.

“It’s awful,” said Fred Mawson, who coached boys golf at Traverse City Central High School during the 2018 season. “Every year, Central hosts a two-day varsity-only event called the Tee Off Classic at the Grand Traverse Resort on the last Friday and Saturday in April. Last year, the Resort grounds people were shoveling snow off the golf course for us to play.”

It didn’t used to be this way. Up through the 2007/08 school year, boys golf was played in the fall, and girls golf was played in the spring. The swap occurred thanks to a Title IX discrimination lawsuit filed almost a decade earlier — a lawsuit that, when it began, had nothing to do with golf whatsoever.

The lawsuit was brought by two families whose daughters were involved in high school volleyball. At the time, girls volleyball was played in the winter, while girls basketball was played in the fall. The Michigan High School Athletic Association (MHSAA) had scheduled things in this fashion to limit facility strain during the winter season, which also held boys basketball.

The problem, in the eyes of the families behind the 1998 lawsuit, was that MHSAA had scheduled girls volleyball in a nontraditional season. Most states were playing the sport in the fall, and the plaintiffs believed that MHSAA was placing their students at a disadvantage for college recruitment and athletic scholarships by having the Michigan volleyball season in the winter. MHSAA lost the lawsuit, which initiated a season swap between girls volleyball and girls basketball.

The ruling also forced MHSAA to examine its

scheduling plan in totality – and make sure other sports weren’t violating Title IX, too.

Ultimately, the case stretched on for nine years and forced six high school sports to swap seasons. A decade later, arguably no sport has been more affected by the change than boys golf.

According to Mawson, the spring season causes a chain reaction of problems for high school teams and their players. It all starts with the weather, which is so unpredictable that it makes planning the season – and playing enough meets — a difficult juggling act for many programs. 2018 was especially bad, as several late-season snowstorms pushed northern Michigan cities like Gaylord, Traverse City, Petoskey, and Alpena to record highs for April snowfall. The bad weather hit the rest of the state, too, forcing courses and schools to scrap numerous high school golf tournaments.

TC Central’s boys golf team practices at coach Fred Mawson’s house during the early part of the 2018 season, before they could get on a golf course.

conflict with Advanced Placement (AP) tests, which fall during the first two weeks of May and take those weeks off the table for many high school golfers.

Perhaps because of these issues, Michigan has seen a clear decline in boys golf participation since the season swap. MHSAA statistics show that the number of boys playing high school golf in Michigan dropped almost 20 percent between 2009 and 2017.

Some districts have been hit harder than others. Johnson, who has been coaching the Gaylord boys golf team for 18 years, used to get 25-30 golf prospects every season. Now, he says he’s lucky to have 15 kids at tryouts — barely enough to field both JV and varsity teams.

Bigger districts like Traverse City, meanwhile, have been more insulated from the effects. Mike Schultz, who has coached the boys golf team at Traverse City West Senior

Perhaps because of these issues, Michigan has seen a clear decline in boys golf participation since the season swap. MHSAA statistics show that the number of boys playing high school golf in Michigan dropped almost 20 percent between 2009 and 2017.

To deal with these early-season cancelations, high school boys golf teams have two options: Option 1 is to travel further afield for events, especially in April. Mawson says that Traverse City Central has taken to scheduling at least one event in southern Ohio in early April, in hopes of getting players on courses that are dry and snow-free. Option 2 is to cluster more events into the second half of the season, when the weather will (theoretically anyway) be better.

But there are problems with both approaches. Going out of state for meets means more travel time, more missed days of school, higher costs, and longer days for players. Piling events into May, meanwhile, takes players out of classes just as the school year escalates toward end-of-the-year exams.

Johnson says that Gaylord’s varsity golfers missed 13 of the last 34 days of the school year in 2018, and still had to play every Saturday once the snow was gone. He also had to be careful to make sure midweek events didn’t

16 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

High for nine years, says his numbers have stayed consistent all along. He generally gets 25 boys out for the golf team — more than enough to fill the 12 slots that make up his varsity and JV lineups. The only issue at West, he says, is how weather makes it virtually impossible to hold a formal tryout.

“This will be my ninth season, and I think I’ve had an official tryout in one or two seasons, just because of weather,” Schultz said. “So, what it ends up doing is turning golf into a no-cut sport, because we’re already playing tournaments before we even have an opportunity to get out and play in the Traverse City area. I’ve got to be straightforward with the kids and say, ‘I don’t have any way to assess your ability to play. We’re taking everyone [for the team], but you may not have much chance to get out and play, unless your ability is there.’”

But Mawson thinks there are signs that could affect the future of boys high school golf in Michigan. He’s heard of Michigan kids losing scholarships or missing out on

the chance to play college golf because they couldn’t get the attention of college coaches.

Between the poor playing conditions of the spring season and the fact that most coaches need to line up recruits well before the season ends, most top youth golfers in the state are looking to other channels to get noticed.

Specifically, talented golfers can play in Junior PGA events throughout the year to accumulate points, hone their game, and catch the eye of recruiters. Most of the events occur between February and September, which means they often conflict with the high school boys golf season in Michigan. And according to Mawson, there are currently state bylaws that prohibit high school team members from participating in these events while they are in-season. Top golfers and their families are left with a dilemma: Play high school golf and potentially miss out on crucial recruitment opportunities, or focus on the Junior PGA and forego high school team participation entirely.

“There are players in Michigan that are the cream of the crop, all-state potential, and they don’t even play high school golf,” Mawson said. “And that’s because of the season being in the spring.”

For most coaches, the solution is simple: Make golf a fall sport again, for both boys and girls. Christian Wilson, Athletic Director for Gaylord High School, believes such a shift would solve most of the problems currently plaguing boys golf. In the fall, he says, meets can be played in August to diminish missed class time, there are no scheduling conflicts with AP tests or other exams, players are more prepared to thrive after summers spent out on the golf course, and courses are more willing to host events. Perhaps most importantly, there is no snow.

The change can’t and won’t happen overnight, though. In order for boys golf to move back to the fall season, someone would need to take the case to court and challenge the prior ruling. For his part, Petoskey Varsity Golf Coach Chad Loe is trying not to pin his hopes on something that may not come to pass for many years — if ever.

“I can’t change the seasons, I am not a federal judge, and therefore do the best that I can to stay positive for my players — no matter what mother nature throws at us,” Loe said.

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO AUDITION FOR INTERLOCHEN

By Molly Korroch Interlochen Center for the Arts is like Hogwarts for artsy kids. It’s a place where they can go to be themselves and explore creative pursuits with the guidance of teachers and mentors at the top of their fields. The main performance venue, Kresge Auditorium, is an outdoor amphitheater overlooking, in summer anyway, the tranquil waters of Green Lake. Arched windows line the back of the stage, and over those is painted the phrase “Dedicated to the promotion of world friendship through the universal language of the arts.” It’s a stage where giants like Bernadette Peters, Van Cliburn, Rosemary Clooney, and Steve Martin have performed.

At its most beneficial, Interlochen fosters creative opportunities for young artists.

However, because it’s one of the top arts institutions in the country, attending isn’t an easily achievable opportunity. Each year, kids from around the world send in videos or portfolios, attend regional auditions, or audition to get in. Approximately 2,500 — from third through 12th grade — are admitted as summertime campers; about 500 — ninth through twelfth grades only — are accepted into Interlochen Arts Academy, which runs through the school year. In late January, when the academy hosted on-site auditions for students of classical music, dance, and musical theater, Northern Express sat to watch the one-of-a-kind

experience — or as much as allowed; the actual auditions are closed to everyone but the talent and the judges.

First up: classical music. Parents and teachers stand stiffly in the long hallway of practice rooms where the auditions take place. Kids practicing scales and études reverberate through the walls. Isabella Saldana Haworth is a sixteen-year-old horn player from Minneapolis, Minnesota.

dance audition in a studio at Harvey Theatre.

Boomer is from Traverse City and one of the only true locals encountered over the course of the day. Lee-Rossing made the drive up from Grand Rapids, and he’s quick to discuss his older brother, who is already a student at the academy. Like many camps, the arts and Interlochen often runs in the family.

“The arts have always been a really prominent thing in our world, and we need

“You should be somewhat nervous.

If you’re not nervous, then you don’t care.” auditioning with Mozart’s third horn concerto. She has to talk over a trilling flute to be heard as she explains why art is so important: “We’ve evolved always having art even though it really gives us no advantage for our survival, so it doesn’t make sense, yet every single culture has it.” The legacy and history of art in culture is something several of the auditioning students mention. They all seem to innately feel the gravity of their craft.

At the musical theater auditions, Adrien Lee-Rossing, 13, and Oliver Boomer, 15, are each hoping for entrance into Interlochen Arts Camp. Both have completed their individual auditions of monologues and songs, and are now waiting for the group

to make sure to maintain it,” says Boomer.

When he performs, he wants to inspire people to pursue their passions too. “Having a place like Interlochen so close to where I live is awesome,” he says. But, for kids who don’t have an Interlochen in their backyards, he suggests that you do whatever you can to practice your craft. Join a choir. Take piano lessons. Start tap dancing. Do what you can until you’re able to travel farther. And, don’t worry about the nerves of performing advises Lee-Rossing: “You should be somewhat nervous. If you’re not nervous, then you don’t care.”

The dance auditions are a more subdued affair. Everyone auditions together at once in a dance class. They take place in an open

studio with a small raised seating space for an audience. Parents and guardians sit there watching the audition. The studio is beautiful. One wall is paneled in floor to ceiling mirrors and opposite it is a wall of windows overlooking Green Lake.

Academy students are mixed in with the auditioning students, who have numbers pinned to their leotards, in an effort to show them the way and put them at ease.

Director of Dance Joseph Morrissey, calls out steps from his spot in front of the mirror. They work on combinations going across the floor and then some of the girls change their shoes to do work en pointe.

After the audition, they scurry to remove their numbers and change. Sarah Jaskowski, 13 is auditioning for camp. She’s only been dancing for three years, so she’s very excited to be auditioning—and by the fact that she could keep up with dancers who have been ballerinas for much longer. She was able to see Interlochen’s production of Swan Lake, “It was just beautiful,” she says, and was inspired to apply. “It’s what I love,” she says.

Professional rejection is something everyone struggles with, and artistic rejection is even more personal and requires a deep vulnerability. Interlochen hopes to provide a safe place to express these passions and vulnerabilities for everyone and especially young people. These kids each demonstrate poise, courage, and passion as they seek to become a part of an artistic legacy and share something they love with the world.

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 17

mar 23

saturday

EARLY SPRING BIRD WALK: 9am, Grass River Natural Area, Bellaire. Look & listen for the first chirping arrivals of spring. Also learn how to use eBird to record your findings. Bring your own binoculars or borrow a pair. $5. grassriver.org

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CABIN FEVER DAYS: The Village at GT Commons, TC. Featuring a Village Farmers Market Special Event between 10am-2pm; Taste of the Village with food & beverage stations provided by Left Foot Charly, Earthen Ales & Village eateries; music by Summer Smith between 3-5pm; & a free showing of “Princess Bride” in Kirkbride Hall at 7pm ($5 donation suggested). thevillagetc.com

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FREE MOVIES DURING SPRING BREAK: State Theatre, TC. Several free movies, March 22-29, beginning at 10am each day. stateandbijou.org/ news-items/awwww-free-spring-break-2019-yall

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HANDS-ON PRUNING DEMONSTRATION CARING FOR TREES & SHRUBS: 10am, GT Conservation District, TC. Before winter winds up & plants leave dormancy, learn how to do corrective pruning on all types of trees & shrubs.

Featuring Fritz Girrbach, owner & certified arborist with Brothers Tree Service of TC. Pre-registration is requested: 231-256-9783 or kama. ross@macd.org. $5/person. leelanaucd.org

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KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. Children ages 17 & under will be free admission during spring break, March 22-31. Minimum of one paid adult admission per family. Dennos members & NMC students are free as always. dennosmuseum.org/events/draw-nomi.html

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MARDI GRAS @ NUB’S NOB, HARBOR SPRINGS: Featuring the Fat Tire Boogie, Crazy Kids & Mogul Munchers Silly Slalom, The Dorie Sarns Challenge, Silly Slalom, Soaker Cup & more. nubsnob.com

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POTATO PANTS PARTY: 10-11am, McLean & Eakin Booksellers, Petoskey. Featuring a reading of Laurie Keller’s “Potato Pants!” as well as a fun potato themed craft & snacks. RSVP: 231-347-1180. Free. eventbrite.com

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ARTS IN ACTION: 10:30am-12:30pm, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. greatlakeskids. org/news-events

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25 CENT FAMILY FAVORITES: 11am, The Lyric, Harbor Springs. Featuring “Hugo.”

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27TH ANNUAL NORTHWEST MICHIGAN RV & CAMPING SHOW: 11am, GT County Civic Center, TC. March 22-24. All types of new recreation vehicles; more than 35 units will be displayed. These include folding camping trailers, travel trailers & fifth wheel travel trailers. Adult admission (13+) is $6; senior admission (55+) is $5; & 12 & under get in free. marvac.org

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JOB WINSLOW DAR MEETING: 11am, Elks Lodge, TC. This month’s program is “What’s Your Roll in Growing Your Chapter” by Christine Richman. Lunch to follow. Reservations required. 946-6337. $15.50.

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RETRO WEEKEND: Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Featuring the Mjolnir (Thor’s Hammer) Challenge, DJ Dance Party & BBQ, Rubik’s Cube Contest, Broomball Tournament, Live DJ Plus Karaoke Contest, & more. crystalmountain.com/event/retro-weekend

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SIPS, CHIPS & DIPS: 12-5pm, Leelanau Peninsula Wine Trail. Participating wineries pair everyday snacks with Leelanau wine. Tickets: $15 ($8 for snacks only or designated drivers). lpwines.com/events/sips-chips-dips

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MAPLE BAY SUGARING DAY: 1-3pm, Maple Bay Farm, Williamsburg. Learn about every step of the maple sugaring process, from tap-

ping the trees, to boiling the sap down to maple syrup, to tasting the finished product. gtrlc.org/ recreation-events/events

march

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MODEL RAILROAD MEETING: 1-4pm, Peninsula Township Hall, TC. The National Model Railroad Association monthly meeting will include a presentation on model railroading with Show & Tell. Email: info@ncrdivision2.groups.io Free.

23-31

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FREE OD EDUCATION: 3-6pm, New World Karate, Fife Lake. Harm Reduction Michigan is offering free viral hepatitis & HIV testing. Overdose education will be presented along with free Naloxone kits. $5 gift to participants.

send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

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BOB DYLAN NIGHT: BROWN ON BLOND CONCERT: 7pm, BrownTown Hall, north of Manistee. Honor the songs of Bob Dylan in anticipation of his 78th birthday. A concert of Dylan’s songs interpreted by a variety of musicians from the region. Presented by Spirit of the Woods Music Association. Donation. spiritofthewoods.org

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ALBERT CUMMINGS: 8pm, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. Albert has played with blues legends B.B. King, Johnny Winter & Buddy Guy. Bassist Tommy Shannon & drummer Chris Layton, of late Stevie Ray Vaughan’s rhythm section Double Trouble, volunteered to play on & produce Cummings’ solo debut recording “From the Heart.” $24 members, $27 advanced, $30 door. mynorthtickets.com/events/albert-cummings

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RANDY HOUSER: 8pm, Little River Casino Resort, Manistee. Enjoy this country singer’s big hits. $50, $60, $65. lrcr.com

mar 24

sunday

WINTER TO SPRING YOGA CLASS: 9am, New Moon Yoga Studio, TC. Oryana Community Co-op, in conjunction with New Moon Yoga Studio, is offering this class that will focus on recovery from cabin fever & transitioning to the livelier energy of spring. Focusing on grounding, balance, & finding your center. Cost: $10; all proceeds will be donated to Habitat for Humanity.

Register. Bring your own mat. eventbrite.com

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FREE MOVIES DURING SPRING BREAK: (See Sat., March 23)

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KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: (See Sat., March 23)

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27TH ANNUAL NORTHWEST MICHIGAN RV & CAMPING SHOW: (See Sat., March 23)

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CABIN FEVER DAYS: The Village at GT Commons, TC. Enjoy Mini Tunnel Tours under the old asylum complex between 12-3pm for $5/ person or $10/family. thevillagetc.com

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BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE…WHAT CAN THE ANTRIM COUNTY CONSERVATION DISTRICT DO FOR YOU?: 2pm, Helena Township Community Center, Alden. Featuring Wendy Warren, executive director of Antrim County Conservation District. 231-331-4318. Free.

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GREAT LAKES CHAMBER ORCHESTRA SUNDAY SERIES RECITAL: 4-6pm, First Presbyterian Church of Boyne City. Featuring Cummings Quartet. Freewill donation. glcorchestra.org

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MAGIC SHOW: 6pm, Crystal Mountain, Crystal Center, Thompsonville. A father & son duo create magic. Preshow at 5:45pm. Free. crystalmountain.com/event/magic-show

mar monday 25

FREE MOVIES DURING SPRING BREAK: (See Sat., March 23)

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KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: (See Sat., March 23)

18 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

The Charlevoix Public Library offers a free concert in their Community Room on Tues., March 26 with Charlie Millard, a “complicated mix of yesterday’s vintage and current musical Americana,” and Katherine Ryan who draws influence from Ella Fitzgerald, Diana Krall and Etta James. The library also has a WinterFolk Concert with Kevin Johnson on Mon., March 25 from 6:30-8:30pm. charlevoixlibrary.org

SPRING BREAK DISCOVER SCIENCE EARTH & SPACE: 1-3pm, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. greatlakeskids.org/newsevents

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WINTERFOLK CONCERT WITH KEVIN JOHNSON: 6:30-8:30pm, Charlevoix Public Library, Community Room. Enjoy Americana music that touches on a wide variety of topics, including love, loss & self-discovery.

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FRIENDS @ THE CARNEGIE: THOSE MAGICAL DAMES: 7pm, Petoskey District Library, Carnegie Building. Join magician Jania Taylor for a historical lecture on women in magic.

Free. petoskeylibrary.org

mar 26

tuesday

COA FREE BREAKFAST & HEALTH PRESENTATION: 9am, Crawford County Commission on Aging & Senior Center, Grayling. “Nutrition as We Age.” Featuring Denise Aungst, MSU Extension community nutrition instructor.

989-348-7123.

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FREE MOVIES DURING SPRING BREAK: (See Sat., March 23)

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KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: (See Sat., March 23)

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SPRING BREAK DISCOVER SCIENCE - EARTH & SPACE: 11am-3pm, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. greatlakeskids.org/news-events

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SPRING BREAK SERIES 2019: 1pm, Boardman River Nature Center, TC. Wishing you were somewhere warm this spring break? Flash forward to summer as you preview summer camp themes with fun activities. Held daily with a free Family Night Friday, 6-7pm. To register, email Education Specialist Rachel Straughen: rstraughen@gtcd. org or call: 941-0960, x17. $2 pre-registration/$3 day of (per session). natureiscalling.org

CARDIAC SUPPORT GROUP: 2pm, MCHC, Meeting Room A, TC. Free. munsonhealthcare. org/cardiac-rehab

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ARTIST AFTER HOURS: MAKE AN ART JOURNAL: 5:30pm, Twisted Fish Gallery, Elk Rapids.

Artist Michelle Tock York will lead attendees in making pamphlets & simple hand-sewn notebooks. Bring art supplies to do some doodling or journaling. crosshatch.org/events

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OD CLINIC: 6-7:30pm, Traverse Area District Library, Thirlby Room, TC. Harm Reduction MI offers their monthly free overdose recognition & response demonstration. A professional will demonstrate the use of Naloxone, immediate antidote, & participants may leave with their own rescue kit. harmreductionmi.org

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CHARLIE MILLARD & KATHERINE RYAN IN CONCERT: 6:30-8pm, Charlevoix Public Library, Community Room. Charlie Millard has been described as a “complicated mix of yesterday’s vintage & current musical Americana.”

Katherine Ryan draws influence from Ella Fitzgerald, Diana Krall & Etta James. Free.

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MOVIE NIGHT: 6:30pm, Bellaire Library. Featuring “The Wizard of OZ.” Prizes awarded to those who come dressed as a Wizard of OZ character. Free. bellairelibrary.org

mar 27 March 23)

wednesday

FREE MOVIES DURING SPRING BREAK: (See Sat., March 23)

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KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: (See Sat.,

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PARKINSON’S NETWORK NORTH DAY SUPPORT GROUP: 10am, TC Senior Center. Discuss April Parkinson’s Awareness Month celebration & the PNN Summer Forum, May 30 at Hagerty Center. Questions: 947-7389. Free. pnntc.org

SPRING BREAK DISCOVER SCIENCE EARTH & SPACE: (See Tues., March 26)

---------------------COLLECTOR AND THE CAR PRESENTATIONS: Hagerty, 141 Rivers Edge Dr., TC. Two employees who worked on the restoration of the 1967 Sunbeam Tiger Mark II. At: 12-12:20pm; 12:30-12:50pm; & 1-1:20pm. hagerty.com

---------------------DRAW NOMI: COLORFUL CHARACTERS - PORTRAIT DRAWING FOR ALL AGES: 1-4pm, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. Free for ages 17 & under. dennosmuseum.org/ events/draw-nomi.html

mar 28

thursday

FREE MOVIES DURING SPRING BREAK: (See Sat., March 23)

“MARJORIE PRIME”: 7:30pm, OTP Studio Theatre @ the Depot, TC. An elderly woman’s memory is fading but now she has a handsome young holographic image of her deceased husband to feed her life story back to her. $17 + fees. oldtownplayhouse.com

mar 30

saturday

YOUNG ARTIST ATELIER - FREE ART CLASS: 9amnoon, Charlevoix Circle of Arts.

For middle to high school aged students. Mixed media of painting, watercolor & drawing. Students will have the opportunity to be mentored in fine art techniques.

CharlevoixCircle.org

----------------------

KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: (See Sat., March 23)

COFFEE BREAK BIRDING - “HARBINGERS OF SPRING”: 10am. Meet at Petals and Perks in downtown Frankfort for a morning beverage, & then head out to look for spring migrants & overwintering waterfowl. Free. benzieaudubon.org

SPRING BREAK DISCOVER SCIENCE EARTH & SPACE: (See Tues., March 26)

KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: (See Sat., March 23)

--------------

------------------------------------------ICEBREAKER SPEAKER SERIES: 12-1pm, Tip of the Mitt Watershed Council, Petoskey. “Climate Change Solutions for Local Governments.” Free. watershedcouncil.org/attend-an-event.html

---------------------GT AREA GENEALOGICAL SOCIETY MEETING: 2pm, Traverse Area District Library, TC. Grand Traverse County Clerk Bonnie Scheele speaks about vital records found at the county clerk’s office. Free. gtags.org

---------------------PRESENTATION ON THE AMERICAN KESTREL, BIRDS IN PERIL: 5pm, Little Traverse Conservancy Office, Harbor Springs. LTC nature preserves & other protected properties are home to 77 Kestrel nesting boxes which are monitored by volunteers from March to Sept. Learn how you can help this bird make a comeback. Optional dinner out after the presentation. Pre-register: 231.347.0991 or landtrust.org/events/.

---------------------INLAND SEAS: EVENING CREW TRAINING: 5:30-8pm, Capt. Thomas M. Kelly Biological Station, Suttons Bay. Maintenance. Free. schoolship.org/news-events/volunteer-training-events

---------------------MARCH SWIRL, PETOSKEY: 5:30-7pm, Crooked Tree Arts Center Galleries, Petoskey.

Enjoy a blend of art, wine from Great Lakes Wines and Spirits, specialty cocktails made with Fustini’s flavored vinegars, live music by Pete Kehoe & appetizers by the chef at Fustini’s Oils & Vinegars. $15 advance; $20 day of. crookedtree. org/event/ctac-petoskey/march-swirl-0

----------------------

FREE SCREENING OF “WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?”: 7pm, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. Critically acclaimed film looks back on the legacy of Fred Rogers, focusing on his radically kind ideas. dennosmuseum.org/events/ films.html

mar 29

friday

FREE MOVIES DURING SPRING BREAK: (See Sat., March 23)

--------------

HORIZON BOOKS, TC EVENTS: 10-11am: Story Hour: Sloths. 8:30-10:30pm: Live music with the Jim Crockett Trio. horizonbooks.com

---------------------KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: (See Sat., March 23)

---------------------SPRING BREAK DISCOVER SCIENCE EARTH & SPACE: (See Tues., March 26) UP NORTH BIG BAND: 7-10pm, Red Sky Stage, Petoskey. Enjoy 30’s & 40’s swing & big band dancing. $10 adults; $5 students with ID at door. redskystage.com

------------------------------------------25 CENT FAMILY FAVORITES: 11am, The Lyric, Harbor Springs. Featuring “Sing.” 231-622-6366.

---------------------TAPPING MAPLE TREES: 11am, Grass River Natural Area, Bellaire. Discover the ceremonial art of tapping a maple tree. Learn traditional & modern methods, what equipment you need, & how to do it at home. $5. grassriver.org

---------------------BOWL ON MAIN STREET, HARBOR SPRINGS: 12-2pm. For kids of all ages. Held at the intersection of State & Main, by Johan’s & Hilda of Harbor.

---------------------“DISNEY’S THE LION KING, KIDS”: 2pm & 7pm, Old Town Playhouse, TC. Presented by the OTP Young Company. $15 adults, $8 under 18 (plus fees). oldtownplayhouse.com

---------------------THE GREATEST SHOWMAN: 6pm, City Opera House, TC. NMC i-Dance presents this spring dance. Featuring Mykl Werth Movement (MWM) basics, taught by Mykl Werth & Dips and Tricks workshop taught by Ashley Urbanus & Jon Vanhoose. Admission: Workshop & dance, $19; dance only, $15. Seniors/students: $10; $8.

Dance begins at 8pm. cityoperahouse.org/nmcthe-greatest-showman

---------------------“MARJORIE PRIME”: (See Fri., March 29) ---------------------SCHUSS MOUNTAIN SNOW CHALLENGE: Watch as trucks, jeeps & more race to the top.

Portion of the proceeds is donated to Michigan’s Disabled American Veterans. shantycreek.com/ event/schuss-mountain-snow-challenge/

mar 31

sunday

SHAMROCKERS RUN FOR THE GOLD: 9:30am, East Jordan Snowmobile Club, 5586 Mt. Bliss Rd. 5K run/2 mile walk. Includes free breakfast. northernstriders.com

ongoing

OPEN MIC THURSDAYS: Thursdays, 8-10pm, March 28 - April 4 at State Street Market, TC. Hosted by local singer-songwriter Elizabeth Landry. Artists are welcome to take the stage for 3 songs or up to 15 minutes of work. All types of performance welcome: music, poetry, storytelling, comedy. If you have a group with multiple instruments, please email Elizabeth at eminorbooking@live.com or message on Facebook to assure there is the right equipment to accommodate you.

---------------------17TH ANNUAL YOUNG WRITERS JURIED EXPOSITION: CALL FOR YOUNG WRITERS: Elementary, middle & high school students who attend schools served by the Char-Em ISD (or home school students in Charlevoix or Emmet counties) are invited to submit one work of poetry, prose, or one of each. Must be submitted online by a parent or teacher beginning at 9am on Tues., April 2 through 5pm on Fri., April 12.

The submission page is located under Teacher Resources on the Petoskey portion of Crooked Tree’s website. crookedtree.org/petoskey

---------------------DEBTORS ANONYMOUS: Tuesdays, 6:307:30pm, Cowell Family Cancer Center, Rm. 3002, TC. A twelve step program for those with money problems. debtorsanonymous.org

---------------------FUNNY BUSINESS COMEDY SHOW: Saturdays, 9pm, Odawa Casino, O Zone, Petoskey. odawacasino.com

---------------------THREADS FIBER ARTS GROUP: Mondays, 10am, Peninsula Community Library, Old Mission Peninsula School, TC. Bring your own needlework project & work among friends. peninsulacommunitylibrary.org

---------------------WINTER MUSIC JAMS: Gaylord Area Council for the Arts, Gaylord. Held every Sun. through winter from 3-5pm for musicians of all skill levels.

Learn & network with other musicians. Bring your instrument, music & a friend. gaylordarts.org

---------------------WINTER WALK WEDNESDAYS: Presented

by Norte. All community members are invited to commit to walking to work, school, as an errand or just for fun every Weds. through March. elgruponorte.org/winter/walk

art

“WOOD, WOODS, WOODEN”: Glen Arbor Arts Center. An exhibition that approaches the material (wood), the place (the woods), the state (wooden) from fresh, innovative & inventive perspectives — & carves into wood – the material, the place & the state – to reveal new layers of understanding, inquiry & thinking. Runs through April 11. On Thurs., March 28 at 10:30am, a program will be held with Julia Gehring, a biologist with the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. See how the woods are doing these days, after an historic wind storm devastated great swaths of Leelanau County woodlands about four years ago. glenarborart.org

----------------------

“MARJORIE PRIME”: 2pm, OTP Studio Theatre @ the Depot, TC. An elderly woman’s memory is fading but now she has a handsome young holographic image of her deceased husband to feed her life story back to her. $17 + fees. oldtownplayhouse.com

GREAT NORTHERN FINE ART - FINE CRAFT EXPO: An outstanding fine art—fine craft open to all MI artists 18 & older, offering eight juried category awards - $500 each, & a grand award determined by the People’s Choice: $1,500.

Can submit through May 31. Downtown Grayling becomes an art gallery during the fifteen days of voting: July 19-Aug. 3. Artists’ demos & the Performing Arts Music Competition will take place on Sat., Aug. 3, concluding with the awards gala at 5pm at Paddle Hard Yard, Grayling. artisanvillage.org/call-for-entries.html

BILL STAINES: 4pm, Sleder’s Family Tavern, TC. This singer/songwriter mixes in traditional tunes with his own contemporary folk ballads.

947-9213. $20 advance; $25 door.

KATHLEEN HOAGG ART EXHIBITION: Runs through April 4 at Blk Mrkt Coffee, 144 Hall St., TC. New Line Drawings by TC artist Kathleen Hoagg.

---------------------KIDS RULE SPRING BREAK AT THE DENNOS: (See Sat., March 23)

----------------------

------------------------------------------MAGIC SHOW: (See Sun., March 24)

-------------------------------------------

TC artists Marcia K. Hales, Dorothy Anderson Grow & Julie Braverman. Exhibit runs through April 5. Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

---------------------SPOTLIGHT ON INNOVATION: Runs through April 6 at Charlevoix Circle of Arts. Showcasing artwork created by regional high school students. charlevoixcircle.com

---------------------CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, PETOSKEY: - HERE AND THERE: Runs through March 30.

A photographic exhibition showcasing the work of photographers Jin Lee, Larson Shindelman & Regan Golden.

- 2019 JURIED PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBITION: Held in Bonfield Gallery. Juried by John Fergus-Jean, this exhibition includes 43 photographs by 34 exhibiting photographers of local & regional acclaim. Runs through March 30. crookedtree.org

---------------------CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, TC: - 2019 YOUTH ART SHOW: Runs through March 30. Celebrating the work of K-12 art students & educators from throughout the Grand Traverse region. crookedtree.org - CALL FOR ARTISTS: CERAMICS EXHIBITION: Apply through March 23 for “Bodies of...”, a juried ceramics exhibition. crookedtree. org/call-for-artists/call-artists-bodies

----------------------

DENNOS MUSEUM CENTER, NMC, TC: - “ENTIRE LIFE IN A PACKAGE”: Runs through May 5. The story of millions of refugees with millions of packages, suitcases... sacks. “Life packages” that hold the desire to survive. In this exhibition Ben-Ami sculpts the packages carried by refugees shown in Reuter’s new photos in iron & then mounts them to the photo in place of the photographic image of the package.

- 2019 NORTHWEST MICHIGAN REGIONAL JURIED EXHIBITION: Runs through May 5.

Featuring art made by local artists over the last year, juried by a regional arts professional.

Hours: Mon. - Sat.: 10am-5pm; Thurs.: 10am8pm; Sun.: 1-5pm. dennosmuseum.org

---------------------GAYLORD AREA COUNCIL FOR THE ARTS, GAYLORD: - 100-DAY PROJECT WEEKLY CHECK-INS: Held each Mon. at 1pm through April 29. Bring the work you’ve been doing or get inspired by others.

- ANDREA ONDISH-RECENT WORKS EXHIBIT: On display through March 30.

- ARTFUL AFTERNOONS: Have fun learning about art history & culture. Free. Wednesdays through April 24 at 1pm. gaylordarts.org

---------------------HIGHER ART GALLERY, TC: - CALL FOR ARTISTS: MODERN ARCHETYPES: An all-female artist exhibit exploring the idea of human consciousness & how archetypes unite all of us. Submit up to 2 pieces each which really capture the idea of the role archetypes play not only in your own life personally, but in society as a whole. Deadline to apply is July 1 at midnight. Exhibit runs Sept. 6 - Oct. 4.

- “NEU HISTOIRES”: Runs through April 30.

This exhibit by Jesse Jason features a collection of abstract, narrative works with a central focus on the imaginative world that weaves its way through reality. higherartgallery.com

---------------------NORTHPORT ARTS ASSOCIATION: - CALL FOR ARTISTS - NORTHPORT PLEIN AIR PAINT OUT: Open now through May 1. Artists paint July 27 & 28. Reception & wet paint sale on July 28, 6pm at the Village Arts Building, home of the Northport Arts Association.

- CALL FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS - NORTHPORT PHOTO EXHIBIT: Through May 31.

Northport Photo Exhibit: June 21-30. Limited to 35. Photographers Reception: June 21, 6pm. northportartsassociation.org

NEW EXHIBITION AT OAC: Featuring work by

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 19

The reel

by meg weichman

FIVE FEET APART captain marvel

T

I’m not quite sure what exactly the deal is with all the films and YA books about teens with life-threatening/terminal illnesses. I feel like there should be, or must already be, some kind of think piece examining the roots of this phenomenon, which unfortunately I don’t have the time or space to delve into it here, but I assure you it is a very real thing. (See recent films like Midnight Sun, Everything Everything, The Space Between Us, etc.)

The latest film in this ongoing trend, Five Feet Apart, chronicling two star-crossed lovers with cystic fibrosis, cannot help but be compared to the genre’s clear high-water mark, The Fault in Our Stars. And while Five Feet Apart lacks the verve, wit, and style of that film, it still manages to be one of the better teen dramas of recent years, thanks to the charisma and talents of its two leads, one of whom should become a very big star.

That would-be star in question is the lovely Haley Lu Richardson, who plays Stella, a total Type A with OCD tendencies who is back for another extended hospital stay while she awaits a lung transplant. Her hospital room feels more like a dorm, and the nurses are more like family — especially the toughloving Barb (Kimberly Hebert Gregory). Her parents are pretty much nonentities (one-time “It Girl” Claire Forlani pops up for a second), and she’s even got her gay best friend (not the film’s strongest characterization to be sure), Poe (Moises Arias, Hannah Montana), right down the hall. In an of-the-moment touch, Stella vlogs about her experiences as she tries to be the perfect patient, hiding the pressure and blame she places on herself.

Distilling her days down to things she can cross off a to-do list, this is a life that she at least feels like she’s in control of — that is, until Will (Cole Sprouse, Riverdale) walks into her world. See, Will doesn’t play by the rules. He’s a cynic with that devil-may-care attitude that proves oh-soirresistible to oh-so-many girls. Will also has a B-cepacia infection, making him ineligible for a transplant, meaning the drug trial he’s at the hospital for is really his only hope.

B-cepacia is a bacteria that, while harmless to most everyone, could be fatal to anyone else with cystic fibrosis, which means patients with cystic fibrosis must stay six feet apart at all times. At this point you might be asking yourself then, why then is the title Five Feet Apart? We’ll get to that later.

here’s a new superhero in town (and it turns out, she kinda started the whole thing … sorta). It’s Captain Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel, an Air Force pilot shanghaied by an alien race and tricked into fighting for its cause. But of course her real cause is us here on earth, as well as finding her own true power, duh. And if that sounds a little confusing, just wait, it’ll all be fine. Because the only real confusing thing here is that it somehow took the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) 20 films to get to its first female-led feature. And Brie Larson is absolutely radiant as Captain Marvel. She works for every single beat of this highly scrutinized and highly enjoyable joy ride. There’s something about the distinct pleasures of Captain Marvel that just works — especially the ’90s setting, and all the awesomely fun, extremely well-done, and incredibly satisfying moments of nostalgia (shout out to the AltaVista cameo), many of which stem from the film’s killer soundtrack. The use of period popular music in the film is very reminiscent of Guardians of the Galaxy’s Awesome Mixes Vol. 1 & 2: It gets your heart pumping, brings on all those wistful feels, and provides some subtle humor. And while I won’t spoil it, the film is almost worth seeing just for what is perhaps the best Stan Lee cameo to date (RIP).

So while Will glowers and broods, Stella’s nurturing instincts kick in (she also likes to visit babies in the ICU), and she tries to support Will, encouraging him to follow their strict treatment routine, and the two grow close — but of course not physically.

Since touching each other could literally kill them, emotions are very heightened, and there’s a lot of hormonal buildup … applied in an ultimately very safe and chaste romance. There are, however, some workarounds for the couple, like latex gloves, so they can hold hands at a distance or keeping a pool cue between them (not as salacious as it might sound), which at only five — not six — feet, represents the foot Stella decides to take back from the disease.

It’s all a bit maudlin and predictable, but then there moments like when they reveal their scars to one another that are so emotionally raw they feel like they are from another film entirely. Once Stella and Will are “together,” having their dates in the swanky hospital, complete with Instagram-worthy light fixtures and a spa-like pool, things lose dramatic momentum, and you begin to wonder where this is all going — until the crazily hyperplotted third act arrives.

Five Feet Apart’s overly weepie soundtrack, while not at all nuanced, is one of the ways the film works very effectively to not only bring on the tears (I will freely admit I cried) but also work on its intended audience. I sat in a sold-out screening by myself, wedged between a lovey-dovey teen couple and a horde of ill-behaved teen girls; I can attest this tragic tear-jerker definitely casts a spell.

The film also presents a fairly sensitive portrayal of living with a chronic disease. It was incredibly eye-opening about the severity and realities of cystic fibrosis and provides a powerful source of representation for CFers (one I’m sure will prove to be an even more powerful fundraising tool).

And Richardson, a scene-stealer in films like The Edge of Seventeen, Support the Girls, and the brilliant indie Columbus, is a low-key wonder, confidently turning the saccharine dialogue she’s handed into something real, driving home Stella’s realization not to live for treatments but to get treatments to live.

Meg Weichman is a perma-intern at the Traverse City Film Festival and a trained film archivist.

20 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

greta

A

stylish thriller with the heart of a campy B-movie horror flick, while there’s not a ton going on in Greta (it won’t be a film you’ll necessarily remember or revisit), some very giddy and satisfying thrills await. It’s a story of strange obsession, following a young woman (Chloë Grace Moretz), who befriends an older lady (French icon Isabelle Huppert) after finding her purse on the subway. And as it turns out, maybe that bag wasn’t so lost after all. There’s a certain beauty to how tight and clear the action is here. There’s some twists, some jump scares, and you might never look at a cookie cutter the same way again. And as things grow more unhinged and outrageous when the film starts its delirious march from serious to silly, Huppert rises to the occasion. It is Huppert who makes it all work. She’s in on the joke, and by the time her as-menacing-as she-is-kooky Greta is prancing and twirling with maniacal joy, you’ll have fallen in love.

FIGHTING with MY FAMILY

F

irst things first. Yes, this is the World Wresting Entertainment (WWE) movie. But no, you don’t have to like or really know anything about wrestling to appreciate this mega-entertaining flick. In fact, you’ll likely come out with a newfound respect for the sport. So set aside your preconceived notions and give yourself over to the big-hearted joys of this feel-good charmer, because when you strip away the spandex and stiffs, you not only have an inspiring story in the grand tradition of underdog sports movies but also a heartwarming tale of a family chasing its dreams — and a colorful and likeable family at that. Based on the true story of WWE Diva Paige’s unlikely rise to success from her family’s small-time wrestling league in Norwich, in the United Kingdom, to being selected to for the WWE’s training program in Florida, the film culminates in a finale that will make you want to stand up and cheer. With its heart in the right place and its own offbeat sweetness, professional wrestling may be “fake,” but the feeling here is very real.

MODERN

THE GO-GO’S HIT SHOWTIME

The Go-Go’s

ROCK

BY KRISTI KATES

Belinda Carlisle and her Go-Go’s bandmates will be featured in a fulllength music rockumentary about the band (titled simply, The Go-Gos) that will premiere on Showtime later this year.

Directed by Alison Ellwood, the movie features full access to the Los Angeles pop band: archival footage, photos, reminisces, and candid interviews that help track The Go-Go’s rise to fame in the ’80s. This will serve as the first “serious” look at the band, which was the first multi-platinumselling all-female rock band to play its own instruments and write its own songs …

Speaking of rockumentaries, a series is reportedly in the works about music producer Rick Rubin, whom you might recognize from his credits on albums from Johnny Cash, The Dixie Chicks, RUN DMC, The Beastie Boys, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, and dozens more. Helmed by director Morgan Neville (Best of Enemies/20 Feet from Stardom/Won’t You Be My Neighbor?), the series, which is tentatively titled ShangriLa, will track the work of Rubin since he co-founded Def Jam Records in his college dorm room in the early ’80s. It’ll also share insight into Rubin’s creative process and methods of production. The doc will make a preview showing at this year’s SXSW in

Austin, Texas …

The 2019 iHeart Radio Music Awards honored its musical honorees this past weekend and showcased live performances from Alicia Keys, Ariana Grande, Kacey Musgraves, Halsey, and John Legend, among others. Topping the list in nominations were Post Malone and Cardi B. Taylor Swift also received the iHeart Radio Tour of the Year award for her Reputation stadium tour, which sold more than 2 million tickets and $266 million in ticket sales, making it the highest-selling U.S. tour in music history …

Stephen Malkmus (Pavement) has released his new solo album, Groove Denied. The set features a new early ’80s-inspired synthesizer-based sound that’s quite different from Malkmus’ previous efforts with his band The Jicks, most evident on tracks like “Forget Your Place” and “Grown Nothing.” To support the new set, Malkmus will embark on a tour this spring, with stops in Toronto (May 1), Washington, D.C. (May 5), and San Francisco (May 14) …

LINK OF THE WEEK The Beta Machine (the new rock band that includes two members of A Perfect Circle) has released an official music video for its single “Embers,” the opening track

from the band’s upcoming debut album.

Check it out now at https://tinyurl.com/ beta-video-band …

THE BUZZ Wilco fans, rejoice: leader Jeff Tweedy will be in concert at the Michigan Theater in Ann Arbor on April 1 …

Brit-rock band Muse will be at Little Caesars Arena in Detroit on April 4 …

Crystal Bowersox (American Idol runner-up) is performing at the Tri-Cities

Historical Museum’s concert series in Grand Haven on April 20; The Abigail Stauffer and Dave Haughey Duo will open …

Grand Rapids band Melophobix, a blend of rock, R&B, funk, and reggae, will perform at Elevation at The Intersection (also in Grand Rapids) on April 11 … and that’s the buzz for this week’s Modern Rock.

Comments, questions, rants, raves, suggestions on this column? Send ’em to Kristi at modernrocker@gmail.com.

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Food specials. $3.50 bottled beer. $4.00 well cocktails or house wines.

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Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 21

DOWNTOWN

FOURSCORE

TRAVERSE CITY

by kristi kates

MARCH 22- 28 Free Movies. All Day. All Week.

The Zombies – Complete Studio Recordings – Varese Sarabande

New Year,

New Beautiful

Invisalign for adults and teens.

Smile

See full schedule at: •••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••

Experience the Schulz Ortho Difference 231-929-3200 | SCHULZORTHO.COM

DOWNTOWN

IN CLINCH PARK

Having inspired everyone from Paul Weller (The Jam) to the cast of Glee, the legendary British classic-rock band finally brings together its most essential tracks (from two original U.S. albums, U.K. releases, and a rare single) to create this 61-track collection. And it’s quite a psychedelicrock explosion, from the familiar bellows of 1964’s classic “She’s Not There” to tracks from the band’s landmark Odessey and Oracle album. Snag it on vinyl and relive those vintage days.

Invisalign and custom esthetic braces treatment. Call for free consultation.

TRAVERSE CITY

231-929-3200 • 4952 Skyview Ct.

CHARLEVOIX

Chris Potter – Circuits – Edition

231-237-0955 • 106 E. Garfield Ave.

SUNDAY 12:15 • 3 • 6 • 8:45 PM MONDAY 12:30 • 3:15 • 6 • 9 PM TUESDAY 1 • 3:45 • 6:30 • 9:15 PM WEDNESDAY 1 • 3:45 • 6:15 • 9 PM THURSDAY 12:45 • 3:30 • 6:15 • 9 PM 231-947-4800

Saxophonist Potter brought in standout collaborators for this set, among them drummer Eric Harland, bass player Linely Marthe, and Blue Note artist James Frances.

All chip in to this unique set of “new jazz,” infused with electronica and Potter’s own avant-garde approach to his instrument. There are some serious grooves here — most notably “Hold It” and “Exclamation” — and just as much welcome experimentation, as on world-music-influenced tracks “The Nerve” and “Koutome,” and the nightclubby “Queens of Brooklyn.”

www.schulzortho.com

Nate Wooley – Columbia Icefield – Northern Spy Records

Named after the massive ice field in the Rocky Mountains, this album is perhaps its own metaphor for Wooley’s ambitions, as he attempts to combine modern music (with the help of his top-notch band) and an earthy, rooted musical sensibility. The result is a set of three long-form tunes (“Lionel Trilling,” “Seven in the Woods,” and “With Condolences”) that evoke the solitary nature of the album’s namesake with trumpets and pedal steel in tow.

Julian Lage – Love Hurts – M Avenue

If you work backward from the album’s end track — a unique, forward-thinking translation of Roy Orbison’s classic “Crying” — it’s obvious that Lage’s latest is not a typical guitar-jazz set.

From the edgy yet chill vibe of the opener, “In Heaven,” through Lage’s takes on tracks by Keith Jarrett (a spacey version of “The Windup”), Ornette Coleman (“Tomorrow is the Question,” given a pensive arrangement), and the Boudleaux Bryant title track, this is a self-assured and interesting set.

22 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

nitelife

mar 23- mar 31 edited by jamie kauffold

Send Nitelife to: events@traverseticker.com

Grand Traverse & Kalkaska

FANTASY'S, TC Mon. - Sat. -- Adult entertainment w/ DJ, 7-close

3/30 -- Dill Stokes, Drebb, Noemad, Blissful, Letter B, M5, 9

GT DISTILLERY, TC Fri. – Younce Guitar Duo, 7-9:30

TC WHISKEY CO. 3/24 -- Karaoke - In Conjunction w/ Dick’s Pour House, 5-7 3/28 -- Paul Livingston, 6-8

KILKENNY'S, TC 3/22-23 -- Risque, 9:30 3/29-30 -- Sweet Jay, 9:30 LEFT FOOT CHARLEY, TC 3/25 -- Open Mic Night w/ Rob Coonrod, 6-9 PARK PLACE HOTEL, TC BEACON LOUNGE: Thurs,Fri,Sat — Tom Kaufmann, 8:30 SAIL INN BAR & GRILL, TC Thurs. & Sat. -- Phattrax DJs & Karaoke, 9 STATE STREET MARKET, TC Thu -- Open Mic w/ Elizabeth Landry, 8-10 STUDIO ANATOMY, TC 3/29 -- American Arson, Oro, Little Graves, Hail Your Highness, 8

TAPROOT CIDER HOUSE, TC 3/23 -- Chris Smith, 7-9 3/27 -- Open Mic, 6-9 3/28 -- Jimmy Olson, 6-8 3/29 -- Rob Coonrod, 7-9 3/30 -- Aaron Dye, 7-9 THE DISH CAFE, TC Tues, Sat -- Matt Smith, 5-7 THE HAYLOFT INN, TC Thu -- Roundup Radio Show Open Mic Night, 8 THE LITTLE FLEET, TC Wed -- Tiki Night w/ DJ, 3

THE WORKSHOP BREWING CO., TC Tues. – TC Celtic – Traditional Irish music, 6:30-9 Wed -- Jazz Jam, 6-10 UNION STREET STATION, TC 3/23 -- Electric Red, 10 3/24 -- Karaoke, 10 3/25 -- Jukebox, 10 3/26 -- TC Comedy Collective, 8-9:30; then Open Mic/Jam Session w/ Matt McCalpin & Jimmy Olson 3/27 -- DJ Prim, 10 3/28 -- Skin & Marshall Dance Party, 10 3/29 -- Happy Hour w/ Blue Footed Booby; then The Lucas Paul Band 3/30 -- The Lucas Paul Band, 10 3/31 -- Head for the Hills Live Show, 10am-noon; then Karaoke, 10pm-2am WEST BAY BEACH HOLIDAY INN RESORT, TC 3/27 -- Jimmy Olson, 6-9 Thurs. – Jeff Haas Trio & Laurie Sears, 6-8:30 3/29 -- Funkamatic, 7:30-10:30

THE PARLOR, TC 3/27 -- Wink Solo, 8 3/28 -- Chris Smith, 8 3/29 -- Miriam Pico, 8 3/30 -- John Pomeroy, 8

Emmet & Cheboygan BEARDS BREWERY, PETOSKEY 3/23 -- Brett Mitchell, 8-11 3/24 -- Jeffery Schlehuber, 7-9 3/28 -- Open Mic Nite w/ Host Charlie Millard, 7-11 3/29 -- The Real Ingredients, 8-11 3/30 -- Chris Michels Trio, 8-11 3/31 -- BB Celtic & Traditional Irish Session Players, 6-9 CITY PARK GRILL, PETOSKEY 3/23 -- The Marsupials w/ The Alternate Facts, 10 3/29-30 -- Annex Karaoke, 10

LAKE STREET PUB, BOYNE CITY Sat -- Karaoke, 8-11 MAMMOTH DISTILLING, BELLAIRE 3/23 – Shady Hill, 7:30-10:30 3/30 – Clint Weaner, 7:30-10:30

RED MESA GRILL, BOYNE CITY 3/26 -- Blake Elliott, 6-9 SHANTY CREEK RESORTS, BELLAIRE IVAN’S: 3/23 – 80s vs. 90s Dance Party w/ FeelGood, 9

ODAWA CASINO, PETOSKEY O ZONE: Sat -- Funny Business Comedy Show, 9

KNOT JUST A BAR, BAY HARBOR Mon,Tues,Thurs — Live music

PIERSON'S GRILLE & SPIRITS, HARBOR SPRINGS Tue -- The Pistil Whips, 8-11

LEO’S NEIGHBORHOOD TAVERN, PETOSKEY Thurs — Karaoke w/ DJ Michael Willford, 10

THE SIDE DOOR SALOON, PETOSKEY Sat. – Karaoke, 8

NUB'S NOB, HARBOR SPRINGS NUB’S PUB: 3/23 – Patrick Ryan, 3-6

Leelanau & Benzie BIG CAT BREWING CO., CEDAR 3/27 -- The Duges, 6:30-8:30 DICK’S POUR HOUSE, LAKE LEELANAU Sat. — Karaoke, 10-2 LAKE ANN BREWING CO. 3/26 -- Wink Solo, 6:30

SHOWROOM: 3/26 -- Kowalski Brothers Polka Band, noon LUMBERJACK'S BAR & GRILL, HONOR Fri & Sat -- Phattrax DJs & Karaoke, 9

STORMCLOUD BREWING CO., FRANKFORT 3/23 -- Olivia Mainville, 8-10 3/29 -- Chad Benson, 8-10 3/30 -- Kyle White, 8-10 VILLA MARINE, FRANKFORT Tue -- Open Mic, 8-11

ST. AMBROSE CELLARS, BEULAH 3/23 – Papa G & Will Kline, 6-9 3/28 -- Open Mic w/ Jim & Wanda Curtis, 6 3/29 -- Maggie McCabe, 6-9 3/30 -- Dede Alder, 6-9

LEELANAU SANDS CASINO, PESHAWBESTOWN BIRCH ROOM: 3/23 -- Ron Getz, 8 3/30 -- Funkamatic, 8

Otsego, Crawford & Central

Antrim & Charlevoix ETHANOLOGY, ELK RAPIDS 3/23 -- Capybara, 8-11 3/30 -- 80s Dance Party w/DJ Franck, 8-11

ERNESTO'S CIGAR LOUNGE & BAR, PETOSKEY 3/28 -- Pete Kehoe & Adam Engelman, 8-11

SHORT'S BREWING CO., BELLAIRE 3/23 -- Luke Winslow-King, 8:3011 3/29 -- Radel Rosin, 8-10:30 3/30 -- Seth Bernard, 8:30-11 TORCH LAKE CAFÉ, CENTRAL LAKE 1st & 3rd Mon. – Trivia, 7 Weds. -- Lee Malone Thurs. -- Open mic Fri. & Sat. -- Leanna’s Deep Blue Boys 2nd Sun. -- Pine River Jazz

ALPINE TAVERN & EATERY, GAYLORD Sat -- Live Music, 6-9

SNOWBELT BREWING CO., GAYLORD 3/29 -- Mike Ridley, 7-10

Manistee, Wexford & Missaukee LITTLE RIVER CASINO RESORT, MANISTEE 3/23 – Randy Houser, 8

NORTH CHANNEL BREWING CO., MANISTEE 3/23 -- Sean Miller, 7 3/29 – Donald Savoie

Send us your free live music listings to events@traverseticker.com Mon - Ladies Night - $1 off drinks & $5 martinis with Jukebox Tues - $2 well drinks & shots 8-9:30 TC Comedy Collective

THURSDAY

Trivia nite • 7-9pm

FRIDAY FISH FRY

All you can eat perch

HAPPY HOUR:

FOR ALL Sporting Events!

Daily 4-7 Friday 4-9 Sunday All Day

231-941-2276 121 S. Union St. • TC. www.dillingerspubtc.com

231-922-7742 121 S. Union St. • TC. www.dillingerspubtc.com

FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS

For Traverse City area news and events, visit TraverseTicker.com

then: open mic/jam session w/Matt McCalpin & Jimmy Olson

Wed - Get it in the can night $1 - domestic, $3 craft w/DJ Prim

Thurs - $1 off all drinks & $2 Coors Lt. pints

with Skin & Marshall Dance Party

Fri Mar 29- Buckets of Beer starting at $8 (2-8pm)

Happy hour: Blue Footed Booby Then: Lucas Paul Band

Sat Mar 30 - The Lucas Paul Band Sun Mar 31 -Head for the Hills Live Show (10am-noon) then KARAOKE (10PM-2AM) 941-1930 downtown TC check us out at unionstreetstationtc.net

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 23

W !

E N ICE PR

LEELANAU COUNTY GORGEOUS & PRIVATE SETTING

on 8.25 acres close to Empire Beach & Glen Arbor...yet just 20 minutes from Traverse City. This quality built log home features soaring ceilings with floor to ceiling windows and stone fireplace, spacious kitchen with walk in pantry, island counter & plenty of work space. 3 large bedrooms each with a private bath. Main floor master w/walk in closet, master bath and French doors out to private master deck. Full basement with a crafting room & workshop. Exterior features multiple decks, 2 cover porches and a screen room. Super close to the Dunes Golf Club. Glen Lake school district. 11167 S. Golden Valley Road Empire, MI - $465,000 MLS #1848035

LISA ROSSI 231-499-9198

the ADViCE GOddESS Crone’s Disease

Q

: I’m a straight single woman nearing 50. My best friends are a lesbian couple. I’m going to get some nonsurgical skin tightening on my face, and they got very judgmental about it: “We think you’re beautiful as you are.” Next, it was “What if it goes wrong?” and “Will you keep getting procedures till you don’t look like you?” I ended up crying and then getting really angry. First of all, it’s my face. Secondly, I don’t think they understand the pressure on straight single women to look young and beautiful.

Thirdly, I think my friends should support me in my decisions even if they don’t agree with them. Am I wrong?

— Upset

if a man catcalls me, I’ll A:goI’mover55.andEventually, give him a dollar.

So I do understand the desire for dermatological intervention — in lieu of a little windup thingy behind your neck that you could crank to tighten the face flesh. That said, your friends probably feel they have a right (and maybe even a mandate) to tell you what to do — probably because they’re trying to look out for you. The problem is, criticizing people doesn’t make them want to change; it makes them want to clobber the person doing the criticizing. And this seems to be the case whether that person is giving unsolicited advice to a friend or muttering “Dude...seriously on the 24-pack of doughnuts?” to that stout stranger in the supermarket.

This happens because our brain’s threat response system is a little primitive. A central player in it is the amygdala — a pair of lima bean-shaped neuron clusters — which makes split-second decisions about whether we’re in danger. Unfortunately, to your amygdala, an attack is an attack — which is to say, a verbal attack triggers the same bodily responses as a physical attack. Your adrenaline surges, your heart pumps like crazy, and blood gets shunted away from your reasoning center and to your extremities. This gets you into the perfect bodily state to bolt or punch your attacker in the nose -- a state that’s not exactly helpful for one’s social survival.

24 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

Tell your busybody friends that it means a lot that they care about you, but that their context — as two nesting lesbians — is not your context as a single straight woman careening toward 50. Set a boundary: Explain that you want their

BY Amy Alkon

advice on your appearance only if you ask for it. You could also ask them to be supportive of you — even if they aren’t on board with the steps you’re taking — simply on the grounds that you’re trying to improve yourself and go after what you want. It’s nice when your photo on a dating site makes some man reminisce about a classic beauty from his youth — but not when it’s his grandma’s prized Hermes alligator clutch.

Worst-Chase Scenario

Q

: I’m a guy, and I’ve noticed that many women (at cafes, etc.) give me flirtatious looks, suggesting they’re interested in me, yet they never approach me. Why don’t they just come over and say hi and get my number and call me or message me?

— Annoyed A: It isn’t hard to get a woman to chase you. Just grab her purse and take off down the street.

However, as a dude, if you’re looking for dates or a relationship, you should plan on doing the chasing rather than the waiting. “Males chase/ females choose” evolved to be kind of a thing across species -- those in which the females get stuck with the greater share of child production and caretaking (“parental investment,” in anthro terms). As evolutionary scientists Peter K. Jonason and Norman Li explain (in their research on playing hard to get), “the sex that bears the greater obligation to offspring is the more choosy sex (females in most species) and will put the opposite sex (usually males) through ‘tests’ for access.”

Keep in mind that many men will have sex with a woman they aren’t all that interested in simply because she pursues them. (In guy terms: “My wrist is tired. You’ll do.”) In line with this, Jonason and Li’s research finds that women benefit from playing hard to get in a way men do not. A woman who refrains from pursuing a man “may increase her perceived value” in his eyes and motivate him to work harder to pursue her. “In contrast,” they write, “men who limit their availability may pay heavier costs than women will through the loss of potential mating opportunities.” As for what this means for you, waiting for women to ask for your digits and blow up your phone with calls and texts is a fantastic idea — if your mail comes addressed to Chris Hemsworth, 26 Movie Star Avenue.

aSTRO

lOGY

MAR 25 - MAR 31

BY ROB BREZSNY

PIScES (Feb. 19-March 20): Now is a favorable time to

disguise yourself as a bland nerd with no vivid qualities, or a shy wallflower with no strong opinions, or a polite wimp who prefers to avoid adventure. Please don’t even consider doing anything that’s too interesting or controversial. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, I hope you’ll do the opposite of what I suggested. I think it’s time to express your deep authentic self with aggressive clarity. Be brave and candid and enterprising.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The weather is warm year-round and the crime rate is low on Pitcairn, a remote South Pacific island that is a 30-hour boat ride away from the nearest airport. The population has been dwindling in recent years, however, which is why the government offers foreigners free land if they choose to relocate. You might want to consider taking advantage of this opportunity. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating. It’s true that you could get major health benefits by taking a sabbatical from civilization. But there’s no need to be so drastic about it.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You don’t

have to run faster than the bear that’s chasing you. You just have to run faster than the slowest person the bear is chasing. OK? So don’t worry!

APRIL FOOL! What I just said wasn’t your real horoscope. I hope you know me well enough to understand that I would NEVER advise you to save your own ass by betraying or sacrificing someone else. It’s also important to note that the bear I mentioned is entirely metaphorical in nature. So please ignore what I said earlier. However, I do want you to know that there are effective ways to elude the symbolic bear that are also honorable.

To discover them, meditate on calming down the beastly bearlike qualities in yourself.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Kermit the Frog

from Sesame Street is the world’s most famous puppet. He has recorded songs, starred in films and TV shows, and written an autobiography. His image has appeared on postage stamps and he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Kermit’s beginnings were humble, however. When his creator Jim Henson first assembled him, he consisted of Henson’s mom’s green coat and two halves of a white ping pong ball. I mention this, Aries, because the current astrological omens suggest that you, too, could make a puppet that will one day have great influence. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. Here’s the whole truth: now isn’t a favorable time to start work on a magnificent puppet.

But it is a perfect moment to launch the rough beginnings of a project that’s well-suited for your unique talents.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20): Taurus businessman Chuck Feeney made a huge fortune as the entrepreneur who co-developed duty-free shopping. But at age 87, he lives frugally, having given away $8 billion to philanthropic causes. He doesn’t even own a house or car.

In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to follow his lead in the coming weeks. Be unreasonably generous and exorbitantly helpful. APRIL FOOL! I exaggerated a bit.

While it’s true that now is an extra favorable time to bestow blessings on everyone, you shouldn’t go overboard. Make sure your giving is artful, not careless or compulsive.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Now is a perfect

time to start learning the Inuktitut language spoken by the indigenous people of Eastern Canada. Here are some key phrases to get you underway. 1. UllusiuKattagit inosek: Celebrate your life! 2. Pitsialagigavit, piggogutivagit!: Because you’re doing amazing things, I’m proud of you! 3. Nalligijauvutit: You are loved! 4. Kajusitsiatuinnagit: Keep it up! APRIL FOOL! I lied. Now isn’t really a better time than any other to learn the Inuktitut language. But it is an important time to talk to yourself using phrases like those I mentioned. You need to be extra kind and super positive toward yourself.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): When he

was twenty years old, Greek military leader Alexander the Great began to conquer the world. By age 30, he ruled the vast territory between Greece and northwest India. Never shy

about extolling his own glory, he named 70 cities after himself. I offer his example as a model for you. Now is a favorable time to name clouds after yourself, as well as groves of trees, stretches of highway, buses, fire hydrants, parking spaces, and rocks.

APRIL FOOL. I got a bit carried away. It’s true that now is a good time to assert your authority, extend your clout, and put your unique stamp on every situation. But I don’t recommend that you name entire cities after yourself.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Now is an excellent

time to join an exotic religion. How about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which believes that true spiritual devotion requires an appreciation of satire? Or how about Discordianism, which worships the goddess of chaos and disorder? Then there’s the United Church of Bacon, whose members exult in the flavor of their favorite food. (Here’s a list of more: tinyurl.com/WeirdReligions.) APRIL FOOL! I wasn’t entirely truthful. It’s accurate to say that now is a great time to reinvigorate and transform your spiritual practice. But it’s better if you figure that out by yourself. There’s no need to get your ideas from a bizarre cult.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Studies show

that people who love grilled cheese sandwiches engage in more sexual escapades than those who don’t gorge on grilled cheese sandwiches. So I advise you to eat a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches, because then you will have more sex than usual. And that’s important, because you are now in a phase when you will reap huge healing benefits from having as much sex as possible.

APRIL FOOL! I lied when I implied that eating more grilled cheese sandwiches would motivate you to have more sex. But I wasn’t lying when I said that you should have more sex than usual. And I wasn’t lying when I said you will reap huge benefits from having as much sex as possible. (P.S. If you don’t have a partner, have sex with your fantasies or yourself.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you ever spend

time at the McMurdo Station in Antarctica, you’ll get a chance to become a member of the 300 Club. To be eligible, you wait till the temperature ouside drops to minus 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

When it does, you spend 20 minutes in a sauna heated to 200 degrees. Then you exit into the snow and ice wearing nothing but white rubber boots, and run a few hundred feet to a ceremonial pole and back. In so doing, you expose your naked body to a swing of 300 degrees. According to my astrological analysis, now is an ideal time to pull off this feat. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I’m not really urging you to join the 300 Club. On the other hand, I do think it’s a favorable phase to go to extremes for an authentically good cause.

ScORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scientific research shows that if you arrange to get bitten by thousands of mosquitoes in a relatively short time, you make yourself immune. Forever after, mosquito bites won’t itch you. Now would be an excellent time for you to launch such a project. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I don’t really think you should do that. On the contrary.

You should scrupulously avoid irritations and aggravations, especially little ones. Instead, immerse yourself in comfort and ease. Be as free from vexation as you have ever been!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If allowed

to do what comes naturally, two rabbits and their immediate descendants will produce 1,300 new rabbits in twelve months’ time. In five years, their offspring would amount to 94 million. I suspect that you will approach this level of fertility in the next four weeks, at least in a metaphorical sense. APRIL FOOL! I stretched the truth a bit. There’s no way you will produce more than a hundred good new ideas and productions and gifts. At the most, you’ll generate a mere 50.

“Jonesin” Crosswords

"It's an Honor to Be Nominated" --yet they never won. by Matt Jones ACROSS 1 “Who’s there?” reply 6 Sitcom set in suburban Houston 10 Org. overseeing summer and winter competitions 13 NASCAR participant 14 “___ Through the Gift Shop” 15 “It’s ___ sham!”

16 Maker of the 2600 17 Late arrival 19 “1984” actor with 7 Oscar nominations and no wins 21 President between Roosevelt and Wilson 23 “Carte” or “mode” preceder 24 “Watchmen” actor Jackie ___ Haley 25 Go to hell ___ handbasket 26 Jost cohost 27 Practice figures, for short?

29 Committed response 30 Chocolate source 32 Most negligible 34 Composer/lyricist of “Godspell” with 6 Tony nominations and no wins (not counting an honorary Tony) 40 Lacking enthusiasm 41 Lift with force 42 Brandenburg Concertos monogram 45 Freestyle, perhaps 46 “Ballers” network 48 “All Songs Considered” network 49 Compensate 51 Mediterranean or Baltic, e.g.

52 Othello foe 53 “Back at One” R&B singer with 16 Grammy nominations and no wins 57 Involving both sides of the body 58 “Camelot” collaborator 61 Idyllic setting 62 Ride share amount, maybe 63 Distraught 64 Cranberry color 65 Go along with 66 Allots, with “out”

DOWN 1 George Gershwin’s brother 2 Inked art, for short 3 1983 Pacino pic 4 Raise reason 5 “Tim and ___ Awesome Show, Great Job!” 6 Consignment shop transaction 7 Especially 8 Part of the Woodstock logo 9 Run up ___ (drink at the bar) 10 “Allow me ...”

11 Soccer stadium chant 12 “Bette Davis Eyes” singer Kim 15 “Slumdog Millionaire” locale 18 Milton Bradley game featuring facial features 20 “Yeah right!”

21 Muscular contractions 22 Art sch. class 26 Intelligible 27 12th of 12 28 Crowd noise 31 On point 32 Timothy Leary’s hallucinogen 33 ___ kwon do 35 Org. that’s supposed to be green 36 Little drink 37 Did some diagnostic work, maybe 38 “Modern Family” rating 39 One of many in a googol 42 Talk incessantly 43 Giant step 44 Prepared, as water for pasta 46 “The End of the Innocence” singer Don 47 “The Crow” actress ___ Ling 50 Bread from a tandoor 51 Take to the rink 52 “Fingers crossed” 54 “Desus & ___” (2019 late-night Showtime TV show) 55 Seafood dip ingredient 56 Dour 59 Tiny 60 Romulans, e.g.

Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 25

NORTHERN EXPRESS

CLASSIFIEDS EMPLOYMENT DERMATOLOGY OFFICE POSITIONS Growing dermatology practice with two positions available for Receptionist/Front Desk staff and a Clinical Medical Assistant.

These positions require a motivated team player. Experience preferred but will train the right person. Please submit resume and cover letter (including the position you are applying for) to mbrooks.associatesinderm@ gmail.com.

SERVICE CENTER SPECIALIST Join our credit union & help us live out our mission.

You will receive great benefits; a fun work environment & get to wear jeans to work!

Your responsibilities: provide excellent member service, open accounts over the phone, & promote credit union products & services. Applicants should be comfortable with technology & a fast paced environment. https://workforcenow.adp.com/jobs/apply/ posting.html?client=tbacu1955&ccId=1900 0101_000001&type=MP&lang=en_US MACHINE OPERATOR Federal Screw Works has full time opportunities at the TC Division on the aftn shift (3pm-12:00am). Experience not necessary, but mechanical background a plus. Base rate of $13/hr, OT, and an annual bonus based on plant wide performance.

Send resume to swise@federalscrewworks. com or fax to 231-922-1811 or apply in person at 2270 Traversefield Dr, TC, 49686.

PART TIME OPENINGS AT COSTCO Wholesale Traverse City Hiring for multiple positions. Part Time $15/hr 24 hours guaranteed. Full Benefits after 180 days. If interested please apply at www.costco.com

MARKETING Duties include tradeshow management, social media, and a long list of digital and emarketing tasks and projects. Excellent work environment and a great opportunity. https://nmi.craigslist. org/mar/d/traverse-city-marketing-andadmin/6840867569.html TECH SUPPORT / DIGITAL MEDIA ACE We need a computer whiz with marketing chops.

Excellent opportunity for a techie who wants to broaden their skills, or a marketer with a geek streak. For more information: https:// nmi.craigslist.org/tch/d/traverse-city-techsupport-and-digital/6840870010.html

REAL ESTATE RARE DOWNTOWN R-2 Lot with 1200 sq ft garage. 312 Locust.Use the garage for storage til you build.Asking $159000 231313-7020 COTTAGE FOR RENT 1 BR, Traverse City, Fully Furnished, Very Nice, Includes All Utilities, Washer/Dryer, Completely Equipped, Month-to-Month, $1,175 per month, Call (231) 631-7512.

OTHER DON’T LET DEBT COLLECTORS Push You Around Being sued or garnished by Midland Funding? Call local attorney Daniel Myers for a free consultation - 1-800-3408050. Member of the National Association of Consumer Advocates. http://www. domlawoffice.com

REAL ESTATE INVESTOR WANTED Get involved with a local investment project. $60K to $150K needed. Secured & Guaranteed 8% + return for up to 12 months. Highly Exp partner - Call Mike for details: 231-570-1111

LOOKING FOR A RELIABLE CONTRACTOR? Traverse Homes is available to build your new home this summer. Prompt, efficient, fair pricing. traversehomes@gmail.com www.traverse-homes.com

LASER PAIN RELIEF CENTERS of America open in TC Safe, affordable pain relief therapy for the alleviation of pain and inflammation from back, neck, shoulder, hip, knee pain and much more. Call 231-4211025 for a free consult.

COMMERCIAL BUILDING REPAIR & MAINTENANCE: Call First Call Commercial Building Services, over 60 years experience.

Let us be your source for commercial building repair and maintenance. We quickly assess a maintenance problem and offer a quality cost effective solution. Hourly rates. Free estimate. 231.714.0911 www. firstcallcomm.com

WANTED OLDER MOTORCYCLES / Road & Dirt Bikes Wanted Used ATV’s Snowmobiles Antique Boat Motors Running Or Non 810-429-6823 TC EASTER CRAFT & VENDOR SHOW Over 50 Crafters & Vendors! Come see all the great things we have! Last minute Easter Gifts & more! 1st 50 people thru the door will receive a Free Goodie Bag filled with coupons, samples, & more! Register on the event page as “Going” & be entered into the $50 MasterCard giveaway! Details on the event page >>> www.facebook.com/ events/304008857115998/.

BMI POLE BUILDINGS : “Your Barn, Your Way, Your Price” Call 989-916-8668 McLaren.brad@gmail.com DRYWALL REPAIRS SPECIALIST Any type of drywall repair done, 20 years exp., call Bill @:(231)384-5581.

ROBERT ABATE SCHOOL OF GUITAR Guitar & Music Lessons, All Ages & Styles, TC 231-421-1401

SEWING, ALTERATIONS, Mending & Repairs. Maple City, Maralene Roush 231228-6248

WORTH A TRIP TO NORTHPORT, Pennington Collection March Madness Sale, Additional 25% off all red line Apparel, Winter Accessories and footwear.

Vera Bradley Liquidation sale and lots of gift clearance items. Open Daily 10-5

GALLYS - FABULOUS FINDS FOR YOU! 40% OFF APPAREL: TC’s New Resale Shop. 11-7 Tues-Fri & 11-5 Sat. 710 Centre St. Call 855-STYLE-85

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26 • march 25, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

LUXURY MASSAGE $49 an Hour Massage + Hot Stone. Call Denise @ Bodies in Motion TC. 941-232-2265

GUIDED BACKPACKING TRIPS to ISLE ROYALE NATIONAL PARK. Details call 231564-1631

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Northern Express Weekly • march 25, 2019 • 27

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