Northern Express - November 22, 2021

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Holiday Gift Guide 2021 NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • nov 22 - nov 28, 2021 • Vol. 31 No. 47 Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 1

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2 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

EXPERIENCE THE U LT I M AT E S TAY C AT I O N There is no destination quite like Delamar Traverse City. Whether you are planning a romantic dinner for two, or winter activities and s’mores by the firepit with the whole family, winter is a magical time.

Join us for a vacation getaway on the shores of Lake Michigan.

ervices 615 EAST FRONT STREET, TRAVERSE CITY, MI. 49686 231 -947-3700 • DELAMAR.COM

letters Shut Down Line 5 Now As the weather changes, I just can’t get enough of our beautiful Lake Michigan, its pristine waters, and gorgeous beaches.

I ask myself why Congressman Jack Bergman is willing to risk our Great Lakes in the service of the oil barons he represents?

Rep. Bergman recently wrote that “Line 5 is the lifeline of the Midwest.”

Well, the Great Lakes are the lifeline of the entire country, as well as the world.

They form the largest body of fresh water in the world! A spill in the Straits from Line 5 will be catastrophic. It is only a matter of time. The company that owns Line 5 was responsible for the oil spill in 2010 in the Kalamazoo River, which cost $1.2 billion to clean up and was the largest inland oil spill in U.S. history!

While Rep. Bergman claims Line 5 is safe, it has, in fact, leaked at least 33 times since 1968. Our Coast Guard admits its ability to attempt a cleanup in the Straits would, at best, remove 30 or 40 percent of a spill. Michigan would be doomed, along with the eight other states bordering the Great Lakes, where 40 million people depend on that water for drinking.

Rep. Bergman also claims that tens of thousands of jobs would be lost across Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, and the region. However, according to the Michigan League of Conservation Voters, Enbridge employs only 116 people in Michigan. By contrast, more than 214,000 jobs are supported in Michigan by Great Lakes tourism alone. More than 1.3 million jobs regionally depend on the Great Lakes, creating $82 billion in annual wages for Michiganders. All of which are at risk if Line 5 ruptures.

An independent study from London Economics International found that price impacts for propane from a Line 5 shutdown would be negligible, at around 5 cents per gallon. The Upper Peninsula Energy Taskforce determined that three to four truckloads, or one to two train

cars of propane per day could replace the UP’s reliance on Line 5.

Statistics from Oil and Water Don’t Mix state that less than 20 percent of households in the UP heat with propane.

The eastern U.P. already gets its propane from a source other than Line 5, as does the western UP. The processing plant in Rapid River delivers propane to only 12,000 UP households, making up about a quarter of 1 percent of what runs through Line 5. Over 90 percent of the oil that runs through the line goes back to Canada.

[Note: Enbridge contends that Line 5 delivers 65 percent of the propane that heats Upper Peninsula homes and fulfills 55 percent of Michigan’s propane needs.

— Ed.] Other pipelines, including 6B that runs through Detroit, avoid the Great Lakes altogether and can easily provide the needed oil for lower Michigan and the rest of the Midwest. Ask yourself: Do you really want to risk our state’s drinking water, tourism, jobs, and regional economy for the sake of Rep. Bergman’s Big Oil campaign contributors? Ask Senators Peters and Stabenow, and President Biden to support Gov. Whitmer’s order to shut down Line 5 to protect the largest body of freshwater in the world.

same-day voter registration, and no-excuse-needed absentee voting. We want voting to be easy for all.

The Secure MI Vote petition is an attempt to make voting more difficult, against the wishes of the majority. The legislation would take away election day voting options, make absentee voting less accessible, and take away funding for elections. Local nonprofits will no longer be able to help local governments run elections. Many of our communities benefit from this help. Donated polling places, such as churches, would be eliminated. The number of dropboxes would be reduced. The League of Women Voters would no longer be able to continue its 100 years of registering voters.

We want more people to vote — to participate in the democracy that we value! Avoid signing this petition and learn more by attending an informational session on Michigan’s voting rights and voting security. There’s one coming up at the Petoskey District Library at 2pm Tuesday, Nov. 30. You can also register for the Zoom version at www.lwvnlm.org/ forum-registration.

Marcia Meyer, Petoskey

Berta Meserve, Lake Ann Sowing Seeds of Doubt How archaic is the majority? Too much with linear living? Introducing truth, not new ideas, is what people fear. Does the world’s society repeat itself, not only for assured monetary gain but for practice?

Every country has contributed to the seed vault. What does this say of humanity.

If leaders believe we need a seed vault, what faith do they have in humanity?

Do these leaders have no encouragement toward humanity? What negativity they portray. Gives a new meaning towards seeds of doubt, does it not?

Paul Tremonti, Traverse City Should Everyone get a Vote?

In 2018, 67 percent of Michiganders who voted on Proposal 3 voted yes! We voted for automatic voter registration,

Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Publisher: Luke Haase PO Box 4020 Traverse City, Michigan 49685 Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 email: info@northernexpress.com www.northernexpress.com Executive Editor: Lynda Twardowski Wheatley Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Lisa Gillespie, Kaitlyn Nance, Michele Young, Randy Sills, Todd Norris, Jill Hayes For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 838-6948 Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman Distribution: Dave Anderson, Linda Szarkowski, Sarah Rodery, Roger Racine Matt Ritter, Gary Twardowski Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold

CONTENTS

features Home(sick) for the Holidays ...........................10 Soothe the Stressed......................................14 Indulge The Wild at Heart..............................17 Think Outside the (Big) Box...........................20 Tickle Their Tastebuds...................................23 Small Towns, Big Holiday Spirit......................26 Personal.Special. Handmade.........................30 The Giving Spirit...........................................37

columns & stuff Top Ten........................................................4

Spectator/Stephen Tuttle...............................6 Opinion.........................................................8 Weird............................................................9 Dates........................................................39 Film..........................................................49 Nitelife..........................................................46 Advice......................................................50 Crossword.................................................52 Astrology...................................................53 Classifieds................................................54

Contributors: Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Ross Boissoneau, Jennifer Hodges, Michael Phillips, Steve Tuttle, Anna Faller, Craig Manning, Krista Weaver, Brighid Driscoll Copyright 2020, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 copies at 600+ locations weekly.

Northern Express Weekly is free of charge, but no person may take more than one copy of each weekly issue without written permission of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content without permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 3

this week’s

top ten Northwest Lower Michigan, Worldfamous Cover Girl Maybe it’s about time our pretty lil’ region got itself an agent. Only one year after National Geographic dropped its stunning December issue with a view of Lake Michigan (as seen from Leelanau County’s own Empire Bluff) on the cover, the “Essential World Atlas” has seen fit to put our area landscape on its cover.

The eighth edition of the distinguished Oxford University Press atlas features a satellite image of Michigan’s pinkie jutting out into Lake Michigan. Much of Leelanau County and Grand Traverse County, as well as Old Mission Peninsula and the Manitou islands are showcased in the shot.

Considering this latest 264-page edition touts its new satellite imagery section, which boasts 10 full-page satellite images — of Berlin, Canberra, Kingston, Madrid, Orlando, Philadelphia, Shanghai, Tehran, Toronto, and Venice — we think the fact that our neck of the North was selected to shine on the cover is something worth bragging about, especially if you’ll be sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner with your big-city cousin who always likes to ask, “What’s new in the middle of nowhere, Bro?”

we got the trots!

Wherever you are in northern Michigan on Thanksgiving morning, there’s bound to be a turkey trot close by! If you’ll be in Traverse City, work up your appetite before the big meal at the 14th Annual Up North Media TC Turkey Trot. It begins at 123 E. Eleventh St. at 8:45am. Choose from the 5K Run/Walk or 5 Mile Flier. To register, search “Traverse City Turkey Trot” at runsignup.com. Plan to be somewhere else Up North? See the Dates section near the back of this issue to find a trot near you.

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Hey, read it creative hands

A lifelong maker and northern Michigan native, Carol Tompkins-Parker has been fighting autoimmune issues since she was 12 years old.

Decades spent dealing with systemic lupus, countless surgeries, and medication-induced osteoporosis have occasionally forced a pause in her creative work, but they’ve never stopped her.

She says her arthritic hands often “have a mind of their own,” so she’s showcasing them, along with those of other area artists, in a debut book of her drawings, “Creative Hands.” Named for the notecard series she drew of her own “disfigured” fingers holding a sewing needle years ago, this stunning, hardcover combines Tompkins-Parker’s intricate sketch work with the photography of Traverse City photographer John Robert Williams. The result is an inspiring look at the hands of 14 of our region’s most specialized makers at work, crafting beer, blown glass, and other art. “[There are] various ways to be creative,” she says. “Look around you, and you’re going to find some very talented people.”

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One Card

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Three Restaurants

tastemaker Palette Bistro’s Acorn Squash

Known for its casual-upscale vibe and built on a foundation of Mediterranean flavor, Palette Bistro’s ever-evolving menu of small plates, brick-oven offerings, and locally sourced ingredients has made the place an Up North foodie find since the region’s WineGuys Restaurant Group opened it in 2010. Our latest favorite: Palette’s autumn acorn squash. Halved, seeded, roasted, and then upturned like a bowl, the squash is filled with a heaping, harvest mix of apple and onion, brown rice, quinoa, and Merguez — a spicy, Algerian sausage that brings a beautifully balanced bite to the sweet apples and earthy grains. From there, the overflowing squash is drizzled in Fustini’s Harissa olive oil, finished with a delicate Gruyere “tuile” (aka French wafer), and served atop a smear of curried apple and carrot puree. It’s an eclectic, cold-weather dish with all the fixings of fall — but it tastes good enough to be a year-round favorite. $27. Find Palette Bistro at 321 Bay St., Petoskey. (231) 348 – 3321. www.palettebistropetoskey.com

4 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

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Drop the Pumpkin Pie: The Frankfort Ironman is Coming Back

Most of us look at Thanksgiving as the first major meal of Fat Pants Season. Those of you who look at it as a day to fuel up on lean protein and complex carbs, well … we salute you. And we’d like to let you and your bulging muscles know that the Ironman 70.3 Michigan race in Frankfort is not only on for 2022 but you can register now. Slated for Saturday, Sept. 11, the event will include three legs: 1.2 miles of open-water swimming, 56 miles of cycling, and 13.1 miles of running. Total distance: 70.3 Lake Michigan miles. Race organizers have taken public comment about the inaugural 2021 race and, though they report that feedback from last year’s athletes and the community has been outstanding, they’re vowing to make the 2022 race even better. Ready to start training? First register at www.ironman.com/im703-michigan.

Stuff We Love: Holiday Hide-n-Seek Northport hosts its own tree lighting the night of Nov. 27, but that’s not all. The town near the top of Michigan’s pinkie stuffs the whole day leading up to it fuller than your family’s favorite child’s Christmas stocking. The celebration kicks off at 10am with the Christmas in the Village Artisan Market, then rolls through the hours with letters to Santa, storytime, cookies and gingerbread house decorating, ornament making, hot cocoa and more cookies, horse-drawn wagon rides, and a meetup with Santa’s reindeer. (See www.facebook.com/ NorthportTree for times and locations around the village.) If you miss those, though, you still don’t miss everything. Northport has tucked more of its hand-painted, nearly life-sized nutcrackers around town, so families can play a game of holiday hide and seek until Jan. 10. www.northportnutcrackers.com

a homesplun, history-rich festival of trees in benzie There are festivals of trees, and then there are Festivals of Trees. Consider this year’s three-day extravaganza (Nov. 26-28) for Habitat for Humanity of Benzie County to be one of the coolest. A near-20-year tradition, this event last year raised $7,000 for the nonprofit. This year, they’re going even bigger. The Benzie Area Historical Society is hosting, and among the hundreds of real and artificial trees, wreaths, and table and wall decorations displayed inside and outside the museum (and online for bidding at www.benziehabitat.org), visitors can also take in other one-of-a-kind holiday offerings: “Thompsonville in Time” author Charles Kraus will sign copies of his local history book noon to 2pm Saturday, Nov. 27, and guests can also see a stunning Christmas exhibit featuring 60 years’ worth of cards Marjorie Sinclair Call made for friends and family between 1944 and 2004. One of her six children, daughter Jeanne (Call) Hafer, will be at the museum from 2pm to 4pm Saturday, too. Click on the News and Events tab at benziemuseum.org for details.

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bottoms up Artisan TC’s Smoke on the Water However hazy your memories of those post-bar-hopping nights spent sweating buckets of booze into your sateen clubbin’ shirt as you dominated the Shimmers dance floor in the old Holiday Inn Express in Traverse City, your mind will be equally — if not more — blown when you enter Artisan, the new hot spot inside the hotel’s much better-looking big sister, Delamar Traverse City. Picture it: low light, candles bright, waterfront views, cozy round booths and intimate tables, two sofas set before a gorgeous white enamel fireplace, a second fire ablaze across the room, and a kitchen cranking out both upscale and casual dishes (Waygu burger, anyone?) from a menu that is mostly seasonal, sustainable, and Great Lakes inspired. And the food is fine. It’s great. But it’s the cocktails — every one we’ve tried so far, in fact — that have brought us back to this bayside gem again and again. We adore the subtly honeyed Catamaran (pictured in front; gin, Campari, dry vermouth, lavender, and Yellow Chartreuse — a French liqueur said to be flavored with 130 different herbs, spices and flowers) and the bright and bracing Red Eye to Paris (bourbon, orange liqueur, Aperol, fresh lime, and bitters), but it’s the Smoke on the Water (pictured in rear) that we cannot quit. More domino effect than mere drink, this cocktail slides so smoothly from a mild ginger-vanilla-almond-sweet to ancho chili heat amid a pool of jalapeno tequila swimming with a most refreshing flotilla of ice flecks,we’ve ordered it every single time we’ve been back. And that’s been a lot. It’s never let us down once; do yourself a favor and down one before the menu changes. Find Artisan TC inside the Delamar hotel, 615 E. Front St., (231) 421-2150, artisantc.com.

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 5

A FEW HOLIDAY TURKEYS

spectator

Thanksgiving Day Service Join us 10:30am for one hour of inspiration!

First Church of Christ, Scientist 330 Sixth St, Traverse City Bible Lesson theme: “O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good” Ps 107:1 In person or on Zoom: TCCSChurch.org

by Stephen Tuttle According to research conducted by the Economist/YouGov, fully 28 percent of Republicans believe Donald Trump will be “reinstated” as president on or before Jan. 1, 2022. That means around 14 million people believe, or have been led to believe, a delusion that is literally impossible.

There is nothing in the Constitution or in statutes that allow any such thing as the “reinstatement” of a former president. Even if there was evidence of massive election fraud in 2020, and there is absolutely none, there is no legal mechanism by which Donald Trump could be reinstated by the courts or Congress or state legislatures. It isn’t going to happen, and those who continue to spew or believe such nonsense only make themselves look evermore foolish.

There were more drug overdose deaths in 2020 — 93,000+, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) — than suicides (nearly 45,000) and vehicular accidents (more than 36,600) combined. This is a dramatic jump from 2019 but follows a troubling upward trend that has existed for years.

In San Francisco, where wildly unrealistic progressives are competing with reality and losing, they have more drug overdose deaths than COVID-19 deaths.

Many states and municipalities have joined in massive lawsuits against drug manufacturers who make or have made opioids, the cause of much addiction and overdose deaths. It isn’t at all clear that will help stem the rise in overdose deaths given the burgeoning illegal drug manufacturing operations in both Mexico and China. But somebody has to be blamed, and the drug companies are both handy and cash-rich so “free” money is available.

(San Francisco has also become ground zero for a debate about homelessness that has thus far solved nothing. Proposals to build new shelters were kneecapped by activists claiming housing people in shelters is simply warehousing them; activists instead demanded actual houses, a practical, political and financial impossibility. The result is that only about one-fourth of the city’s 8,000-person homeless population has some form of approved temporary housing. The rest are in tents on sidewalks and in parking lots.)

There is afoot something called the BDS movement, calling for boycotting Israelimade products, divestment of Israeli stocks or partial ownership of Israeli companies, and sanctions levied against the Israeli government and businesses. This idea was promulgated by the Palestinian Authority and is now being pushed by their supporters in the U.S.

6 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

It is a misguided effort to rewrite history while sullying the only true democracy and genuine American ally in the region.

No bigger than New Jersey and with only 9.2 million people, Israel has been under constant attack since before it became a nation in 1948 and even now is surrounded by governments and organizations committed to its total destruction. The land being demanded for the so-called Palestinian state includes what is now Israel.

It is no wonder Israel has and will continue to aggressively defend itself. If their neighbors would stop lobbing rockets and launching other attacks, Israelis would have no reason to respond or acquire additional land to enhance their national defenses.

They deserve our continued support; not boycotts or divestment or sanctions.

Barack Obama gave it a try. Donald Trump promised it but never delivered. Now Joe Biden actually has managed to do what they could not — get a huge infrastructure deal through Congress and onto his desk. You’d think Democrats and the few supportive Republicans who managed to approve $1.2 trillion of infrastructure spending would be taking victory laps, and that Biden would be hailed for a milestone achievement in his first year in office.

No, these are the Democrats, always capable of turning victory into a loud, internecine squabble. This time it’s progressives complaining because they didn’t get to hold the infrastructure bill hostage until they got their way on the massive social spending plan, Build Back Better. And, as is now customary, any Republican supporting any Democrat plan or legislation is immediately subject to attacks from the former president and potential discipline from what passes for GOP leadership.

Both parties should be celebrating after passing legislation supported by 63 percent of the public but, instead, both have turned it into yet another mud-slinging fest.

Here in the United States, less than 59 percent of our total population has been fully vaccinated against COVID-19, though the number jumps to 70 percent among adults. But we’re still experiencing about a thousand COVID-19 deaths a day as we approach a staggering 800,000 total.

Other countries are doing better: notably, Portugal, Cuba, and the United Arab Emirates all report a 98 percent vaccination rate. Most of them have the advantage of not being troubled by misinformation or liars and charlatans passing as experts.

Instead, they listened to and followed the advice of actual experts. Imagine that.

SHOW GRATITUDE BY REDUCING WASTE

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guest opinion

by Cathye Williams Thanksgiving has long been a time to celebrate abundance. Striving for abundance seemed prudent in a past where stockpiles provided security against times of scarcity.

Today, the abundance we enjoy is more a sign of imbalance than security. Much like climate change brings downpours and floods to some areas while leaving others deathly dry, our current food system is similarly out of whack: In the U.S., we throw away over $400 billion of food annually, yet one in ten adults aren’t getting enough to eat.

Since becoming an empty nester, I’ve begun to think more about food waste. I always knew it was an environmental issue in need of attention, but I didn’t feel too much pressure or personal responsibility when I had kids who were proud members of the “clean plate club.”

These days, however, as I plan meals for one and still toss too many scraps in the compost, my thoughts turn to the truckloads and acres of food growing all over the world. And what about the food that never becomes scraps — that never even makes it to the table? I walk grocery aisles where the dizzying variety of choices and façade of perfect-looking food makes me woozy. It seems we’ve gotten to a point where enough is not enough until it’s too much.

We look at countries with bread lines and empty grocery shelves as cautionary tales, while well-stocked American stores and pantries are seen as benchmarks of success, the way we show that we nourish and care for our families. In reality, these full shelves hide a sadder truth, and one that could well be viewed as America’s cautionary tale. Much of the food we buy is devoid of nourishment, and the amount that goes to waste indicates a lack of care — for ourselves, our communities, and the Earth.

Any smart businessperson knows that cutting out waste is good for their bottom line — a way to keep their operation healthy.

Likewise, addressing the problem of food waste is good for humanity’s bottom line — a way to keep people and the planet healthy.

So how is the business of feeding ourselves faring? Well, right now our bottom line is not looking that great.

Over 40 percent of all food in the U.S. goes unsold or uneaten, according to the USDA. This also contributes to climate change.

When we waste food, we also waste the energy it took to grow, transport, and refrigerate it.

However, the biggest contribution that food makes to global warming is when we throw it into landfills, where it decomposes and produces methane.

In fact, according to the Environmental Protection Agency, food waste is now the largest single input by weight in U.S. landfills and incinerators and accounts for 4 percent

of U.S. greenhouse gas emissions. That’s more than the U.S. airline industry.

The good news is that reducing food waste isn’t all that expensive or complex. We can each make a difference in our kitchens by planning a little, utilizing leftovers, and composting waste. Beyond the kitchen table, we can support organizations like Food Rescue, which is making a huge difference here in northwest Lower Michigan, saving 1.8 million pounds of food from ending up in our landfills each year and distributing it to local food pantries.

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Other opportunities might include a citysponsored compost program, where green goals would be met by reducing methane emissions from landfills, or school-based initiatives to measure and reduce waste.

Imagine students helping with the design and implementation of those programs and getting hands-on lessons in economics, civics, science, and math!

Some of these ideas are already being implemented, voluntarily, by smart individuals, businesses, and communities who see the economic, environmental, and social benefits of preventing loss and reducing waste.

The Pew Research Center found that 80 percent of Americans believe food waste is a critical issue. But large-scale efforts will still likely require public policy to get them off the ground. Advocating for this with our elected officials and thinking about who will support solutions at the ballot box are other ways to help.

We can also learn (and tell others) about legislative efforts like the Zero Food Waste Act (HR 4444/S 2389), which would provide grants and other supports for locally led programs. The World Wildlife Foundation provides great information on the act, and offers an online form you can use to contact members of Congress. Programs that would be catalyzed by this bill are projected to significantly reduce landfill inputs and greenhouse gases, deliver safe edible food, and create jobs.

You might also give thanks for supporting an effort that lets you leave that red or blue hat at home because reducing food waste checks boxes on both sides of the aisle. Whether you consider yourself Democrat, Republican, conservative, progressive, or none of the above, reducing food waste for a healthy community and a healthy bottom line is something we can all get behind.

Cathye Williams serves as a volunteer and media liaison for the Grand Traverse area chapter of the Citizens Climate Lobby, www. citizensclimatelobby.com. She writes from Benzie County. Special thanks to Bob Nichols for contributing to the research and writing for this piece. Nichols lives in Traverse City, where he advocates for a peaceful, just and sustainable world with Veterans for Peace and Citizens Climate Lobby.

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Awesome!

Archaeologists in Israel have found a gold ring with a purple stone, believed to be amethyst, that they believe was used to ward off hangovers. The ring, dated to between the 3rd and 7th centuries, was discovered in the ruins of an ancient wine factory, United Press International reported. The Israeli Antiquities Authority said the ring probably belonged to a wealthy person who may have worn the ring to counteract the “side effects” of wine. The winery was known for its white Gaza variety.

‘Tis the Season Cobb County (Georgia) Superior Court Judge Robert Leonard has, with tongue firmly in cheek, banned the Elf on the Shelf from his county, United Press International reported. Leonard said the elf poses “a risk to the emotional health and well-being of Cobb’s young children.” He tweeted that his order was a “gift to tired parents” because “When these Elves do not move, it leaves our children of tender years in states of extreme emotional distress.” But for those families who love their elves, carry on: There will be no charges.

News You Can Use On Nov. 7, as four astronauts prepare to leave the International Space Station, they’ll have an extra “load” to carry, the Associated Press reported. The SpaceX capsule that will bring them back to Earth has a broken toilet, so the two NASA astronauts and one each from France and Japan will be wearing what NASA calls “absorbent undergarments” for 20 hours. “Spaceflight is full of lots of little challenges,” said NASA astronaut Megan McArthur. “We’re not too worried about it.”

Surprise!

Emily Johnson of Vacaville, California, didn’t think it was time to go to the hospital when her contractions were 10 minutes apart on Nov. 4 -- but then they quickly started coming faster, and as Emily and her husband headed to the car, she knew it was too late.

“I’m going to be here. This is my spot,” she said to her husband, Michael, according to KCRA-TV. Emily’s mom, Kristy Sparks, was with the couple and helped Emily deliver baby Thomas on the lawn just as rescue crews pulled up to the scene. “By the time they walked up to me, I had a baby in my arms crying,” Sparks said. “It was unreal.” Bonus: Emily will always be able to relive the scene because the entire event was caught on her doorbell camera. (Fortunately, Emily noted, she was facing away from the camera.)

Cohabitation Christopher Callen, 33, was charged with assaulting his roommate at the Monroe County Detention Center in Key West, Florida, on Nov. 4, The Smoking Gun reported. Callen told police that Amado Dominguez-Quevedo, 57, “farts too much, stinking up the cell” and doesn’t do a “courtesy flush” after using the toilet. Plus, Callen added, he “speaks weird languages.” The victim told police that he was cleaning the toilet when Callen started punching him in the face and ribs. As a result, he lost two teeth and had a broken rib and bruised left eye.

Inexplicable Firefighters in Syracuse, New York, were called to the Landmark Theatre on

Nov. 5 after a person was heard calling for help inside the building, Fox News reported.

An unidentified 39-year-old man was stuck behind a wall in the theater bathroom, completely naked, and was believed to have been there for two to three days. It was unclear how he managed to get behind the wall, but firefighters had to cut through several layers of drywall and structural tile to free him.

Syracuse Deputy Fire Chief John Kane said the victim appeared to be uninjured and would probably be treated for dehydration.

Visitors to the lion exhibit at the Bronx Zoo on Nov. 11 got an extra show when a woman wearing a blond wig and leopardprint shawl climbed over the barrier and spoke to a male lion, who was on the other side of a protective moat. The unidentified woman carried a bouquet of red roses and tossed $100 bills toward the lion as she addressed him: “King, I love you, I came back for you,” Fox News reported. By the time zoo officials reached the exhibit, the woman was gone, but they stressed that she was not in any danger. It is possible that the woman is Myah Autry, who pulled a similar stunt in 2019 at the same exhibit.

A Man and His Truck Because of his battle with an incurable disease, Don Adan Arana of Puerto San Carlos, Mexico, was unable to enjoy the pickup truck his son had recently given him. Before he died, Arana told his family that he’d like to be buried in the truck so that he could make up for lost time, driving it in the afterlife, Oddity Central reported. On Nov. 4, a crane was used to lift the truck into a brick-lined tomb, and Arana’s coffin was placed in the truck’s bed.

However, Arana’s family may have to pay a fine, as they didn’t receive authorization for the unconventional interment.

Can’t Possibly Be True In a study published in the December issue of the Journal of Environmental Psychology, researchers from Furman University asked children ages 4 to 7 to identify whether certain foods come from plants or animals, and which things were OK to eat. The results were shocking, as Oddee.com reported: About a third of the kids thought eggs came from plants. Forty percent thought hot dogs and bacon were vegetables. Almost half thought french fries were animal-based. More than a third thought chicken nuggets were plantbased, even though the word “chicken” is right there in the name. Another third said fish were not OK to eat. Seventy-six percent said cows were not OK to eat. We have some work to do, folks.

Recurring Themes The Boulder (Colorado) Daily Camera reported that 39-year-old Jon Charles Streckenbach is facing charges of firstdegree arson, criminal mischief and possession of a controlled substance after he used a blowtorch to rid his mother’s home of cobwebs on Nov. 2. He said he was using the torch in the crawlspace under the basement and worked for an hour to put out the fire before calling for help. His mother had a protection order against him but had been allowing him to stay with her because he was homeless.

The flames caused $100,000 in damages -but the cobwebs are gone!

Come hear a Thanksgiving sermon and gratitude sharing!

All are welcome!

GIFTS • ART TILE JEWELRY • POTTERY

FIRST CHURCH OF CHRIST, SCIENTIST, GLEN ARBOR

Enjoy “Sip & Shop” 1st and the 3rd Saturdays of each month!

Open Year Round in Alden, Michigan Shop our online store! www.whistlingfrog.net

6753 W Harbor Highway (M-109) Glen Arbor, MI 49636 Thursday November 25th at 10am-11am 231-334-4961

Available online or in-store. scarves Open handmade 7 days a week.

One of a kind www.hullsoffrankfort.com in Benzie County.

Available online or in-store.

Available this holiday season!

Open 7 days a week. www.hullsoffrankfort.com

shop online at www.hullsoffrankfort.com 231-352-4642 419 Main St, Frankfort

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 9

GIVE THE GIFT OF MUSIC

* apparel * footwear * accessories Gift Certificates Available NEW AND USED VINYL RECORDS, CDs, TAPES, TURNTABLES, STEREO EQUIPMENT, SPEAKERS AND ACCESSORIES GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

We are always buying record collections, vintage equipment and speakers

* Gift Certificates available! shop online at thelimabean.net 231-271-5462 Downtown Suttons Bay Mon - Sat 10am - 5:30pm

10 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

OPEN AT 9AM

231-947-3169 - 1015 Hannah Ave, Traverse City LIKE US ON FACEBOOK AND FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM FOR DAILY UPDATES! @RPMRECORDSTC

2021 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE HOME(SICK) FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Gift Guide by Krista Weaver

Gifts for the snowbirds, our fine-weathered friends, who leave us for sunnier shores. We know deep down they’re longing for home.

Todd Reed: 50 Years Seeing Michigan Through a Lens

Ludington native Todd Reed, considered by many to be one of the best landscape and outdoor photographers in the country, showcases Michigan’s four seasons and some of his most vivid personal and professional memories during five decades of photography. At 400 pages, this large-format hardcover includes 67 neverbefore-seen images plus many of his bestsellers over the years. Usually $120 but, during November, you can snag a signed copy for $100. If you want to go all-in, a starting price of $1,100 gets you not only the signed book but, a 24” framed print, a commemorative Yeti tumbler, and a camera-shaped double-sided ornament featuring two of Todd’s iconic images. toddandbradreed.com

Beach Sand Glass Ornament

Made from Michigan beach sand, these 3” handpainted ornaments are a beautiful (and affordable) way to let your faraway snowbird have a little bit of northern Michigan love and color on their winter escape. Limited supplies of two designs mean your gift is not only supporting local artists but is an authentic one-of-akind art piece made by real human hands — not massproduced overseas and currently stuck on some freighter out in the ocean somewhere. Choose from “Floral,” with its riot of primary colors, or “Blue Wave,” inspired by the waters of Lake Michigan. $29 each. Available online at lifeandwhim.com or in-store at Life and Whim, Suttons Bay. Order by Dec. 10 for holiday arrival.

Gray Malin Framed Northern Michigan Prints

From Van’s Beach to Northport Point to Mackinac Island, part-time northern Michigan resident and full-time escapism photographer Gray Malin spent August 2020 taking dizzyingly colorful beach aerials of some of NoMi’s most beloved beaches, waterfronts, and marinas. His unique perspective (hard to lack while leaning, untethered, from the side of a helicopter) gives his images a very “Slim Aarons on Lake Como” vibe. They’ll be wondering if you gave them a photo of 1960s Capri or the Torch Lake Sandbar. Currently available exclusively online at graymalin. com/northern-michigan. Prints start at $249 plus framing.

Virtual Shopping Spree

If choosing your own Michigan-themed gift is too much pressure, why not set up your snowbird with their very own virtual shopping spree so they can pick out their own Great Lakes goods? Many local retailers started offering this service back in 2020 and found it was a big hit. Traverse City’s My Secret Stash’s extensive line of Michigan-made and themed products includes: • Locally made honey, jams, and BBQ sauces • Pint glasses • Coasters (shown here) • Tees & hoodies, including Up North Pride wear • A whole host of home, travel, bath, and body items Even the pickiest recipients will find something they love — just set their budget and virtually set them loose.

Schedule online with Karen, and she’ll give your special person a personal shopping tour of the whole store at no charge. Gift cards start at $10. mysecretstash.com

Lake Michigan Candle

Gift them the invigorating smell of clean, soothing Big Lake air in their winter pied de terre. This Lake Michigan soy candle is a blend of orange blossom with subtle hints of musk and ozone essential oils. What does “ozone” smell like, you ask? Fair question. Some describe it as sweet and aromatic, a “clean” smell, or “like an electrical spark.” Perfect for something they’ll set on fire. The 4-ounce travel tin is made in Michigan by Dirty Girl Farm and available at Rooted in Mancelona for just $7.49. rootedmi.com

Wine Tote Bag

Because, why not? Especially when your May to October friends may be unable to find their favorite Michigan wines when they’re gone for the winter. This buttery tote ($186) is handcrafted in Northern Michigan with top grain American leather by the artisans at Leelanau Trading Company. If wine’s not their thing (pshaw!), the LTC also makes gorgeous purses, backpacks, and weekender totes available at retailers across Benzie, Leelanau, and Grand Traverse counties.

Visit leelanautradingco.com for

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 11

112 North Main Street • Leland

MI 49654 • (231) 256-7747

Think

Gift C ertifi cates

Give the gift of Stafford’s.

Always a perfect fit!

Stafford’s gift cards can be used at any Stafford’s location - Bay View Inn, Crooked River Lodge, Perry Hotel, the Pier or Weathervane Restaurants.

Use them for dining, lodging, gift shop purchases and more. Order online at staffords.com and your Christmas shopping is done!

RLY A E ND LELAIRD SALE 26 B Y NOV ON S A FRIDTED ITEM TO 10, 8 C SELE 25% OFF DAY L SALE 15% AL Open Daily thru New Year’s Eve • Follow us www.facebook.com/Tampicolelandmi

12 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

Alanson • Charlevoix • Harbor Springs • Petoskey staffords.com

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Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 13

2021

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

SOOTHE THE STRESSED

Gift Guide by Krista Weaver

Does your loved one find relief through better sleep, a glowing complexion, or a straight-up shot of something that is not vodka?

Something on this list will surely work, then.

Spa Day

Maybe your stressed person is of the dim lights/binaural beats/lavender oil breed. If this is the case, consider indulging them in a spa day at one of your local venues or an overnight package at Crystal Mountain, any of the three Boyne spas, The Homestead, or Grand Traverse Resort and Spa. Surrounded by northern Michigan’s natural beauty, guests relax and rejuvenate with massages, skin and body treatments, saunas, whirlpools, hot tubs, and food and drink. Gift this on the condition they invite you, too. Prices vary.

Give a Chill Pill

Well, a Chill Elixir, specifically. Made from Reishi Mushroom, Kava Kava root, organic Hawthorn berries, and grapefruit, this herbal extract by Lake and Woods Apothecary in Suttons Bay is considered “the ultimate destressor.” And no wonder: It’s said to soften tense muscles, center the heart, and create a sense of euphoria.

Sign us up! Adding a 1/2 teaspoon or so to sparkling water or just shooting it straight when things get dicey is recommended. Gift the 3-ounce bottle ($38) in combination with the calming Sacred Soak Tea Bath ($15) or on its own as a welcome stocking stuffer.

Either way, your recipient will thank you for their newfound balance and much-needed calm.

Anti-Stress Skin Routine

The brain and the skin ... fraternal twins living under one roof.

When one gets nervous, the other sweats; when one gets sunburn, the other feels it. When one gets anxious, the other breaks out. The skin on stress is a lot like the old “this is your brain on drugs” egg-in-a-frying-pan commercial. One solution?

Traverse City’s Copper Aesthetics. The sister medi-spa to The Center for Plastic Surgery recently launched its exclusive skincare line called — what else? — Copper Aesthetics. By combining plant-based ingredients with medical-grade ones, this line is gentle but effective and smells delightful. What’s more relaxing than a face that smells like an entire spa?

Check it out in person at the Center’s Holiday Pop Up in Traverse City, Wednesday, Dec. 1 or in Petoskey on Friday, Dec. 3. You’ll find big discounts on treatments and products.

Otherwise, kits start at $100 and include three full-size products. copperaesthetics.com

Put a Shot in Their Arm

A Cozy Blanket For Hiding From the World

Sometimes all a person needs is a momentary escape from the noise and the people. Rudyard-based Lake Superior Woolen Company is just the ticket, making its blankets from a single flock of sheep grazing its Upper Peninsula farm. Give your person the gift of comfort and warmth with one of their Michigan-made 100% virgin wool blankets that are as cozy as they are charming. We’re talking Pendleton level quality but from a small family farm in the UP. They also make wool mattress pads and toppers to keep back problems and sleeplessness at bay. Snuggle in, then peek back out into the world only when ready. Blankets start at $129. lswoolen.com

14 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

If stress is so intense a registered nurse is required to treat it, maybe gift your person a Good Mood IV drip ($139) from Traverse City’s Biofuse Wellness & Peak Performance. Biofuse says this infusion can address stress, lack of energy, anxiety, and depression by rebalancing one’s mind and body by restoring B vitamins, magnesium, and selenium.

(Disclaimer: this has not been evaluated by the FDA, nor is this considered an endorsement from Northern Express; we’re just trying to give you gift ideas, OK?) Gift cards and registration are available at biofuse.net.

Visit our locations for exclusive deals all December long, or shop online at store.shortsbrewing.com

Give the gift of flavor!

If you have a kitchen, get in here!

The Home of Pepper Mill Spices

Holiday gift boxes available!

(231) 331-4711 www.aldenmillhouse.com

The Built Environment Exhibition Works depicting human-made surroundings that provide the setting for human activity

October 29 - December 3, 2021 Open 6 Days | Free Admission | South End of 2nd St.

Frankfort, MI | oliverart.org | 231-352-4151 Sponsored By:

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 15

SPECIALIZING IN DRIVER’S LICENSE RESTORATION

A Criminal Defense Firm Designed to Give you More 427 Main Street, Suite 201 || Frankfort masstiglaw.com || 231.714.4128 16 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

2021 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE INDULGE THE WILD AT HEART

Gift Guide by Krista Weaver

For those seeking a little post-lockdown adventure.

Seven Minutes in Heaven

If you’re looking to give someone the gift of sheer adrenaline this holiday season, consider booking them a jump with Skydive Charlevoix. Starting at $249, your loved one can leap out of a plane two miles above the Lake Michigan shoreline and experience the thrill of freefalling at 120 mph before blissfully gliding back to terra firma with their parachute. The whole parachute ride lasts about 4 to 7 minutes, but the memory will last a lifetime. The pros at SDC make it safe, easy, and fun with pre-flight training and tandems for those who’ve never jumped, plus an Accelerated Freefall Program for those who aspire to go solo. To book or inquire, call (231) 330-3483 or visit skydivecharlevoix.com.

Curling Lessons

Raise your hand if you have beer-drinking, outdoor-loving people on your shopping list this year. Yes, that’s pretty much all of us. How about private curling lessons for the lot of them? $125 buys 1.5 hours of instruction and equipment for up to 8 people at Stormcloud Brewing Company in Frankfort. Curling season is weatherdependent but generally starts at the end of December and runs through February-ish on the curling “sheet” (the ice rink where it’s played) outside, next to the pub.

Private lessons can be scheduled for Monday through Friday from 12pm to 4pm and Monday/Wednesday/ Friday from 5pm to 9pm. Book directly with Bri Mathias at bri@stormcloudbrewing.com

Give ‘Em An Axe to Grind

How about an axe to throw, instead? Book a session at Petoskey’s Northern Michigan Axe Company, and your adventurer will learn the fine art of chucking axes at bullseyes in one of four axe throwing lanes — with the helpful input of trained experts, of course. All levels of expertise welcome, ages 16+ (with adult). Bust out the buffalo check flannel shirts and let the blades fly! $25/person for groups up to four; $22/ person for groups of five or more. Book online, northernmichaxe.com.

For party and event rates, call (231) 489-5123.

Virtual Golf, Actual Party

Laugh in the face of snow-covered fairways when you give your family or friends a virtual golf party in the warmth and comfort of the indoors! Traverse City’s X-Golf indoor golf simulators offer players of all ages a chance to play a round at the world’s best courses. X-Golf has six simulators accommodating up to six golfers at a time. Packages are available for 10 to 45 people, plus food, beer/wine/liquor, and tips from the onsite pro. Inquire about rates for your specific group. Alternatively, gift a solo round or lesson for your hibernating golfer starting at $40/hour. (231) 201-2644 or xgolftraversecity.com

Hot Tub Time Machine

Come February-ish, people start getting a little antsy to escape the gray slush of winter but can’t always hop a flight to some bougie resort. That’s when you, dear reader, get to shine as the giftgiving genius you are. Dust off the Googler and book your grumpy bear one of the hundreds of local vacation rentals boasting hot tubs or saunas and let them be a tourist in their own town for a couple of nights. The change of scenery, the chance to explore places they might otherwise not in the ordinary course of day-to-day NoMi life, and to unwind at will in the warm, bubbling waters of a spa, should certainly help them flash forward to warmer days. VRBO.com, filter “hot tub” properties. Rates vary.

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 17

When it’s finally time to ...

DOWNSIZE

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OR FIND THE PERFECT VACATION HOME

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SANTA PICS & CAROLS

DECEMBER 18TH | 4 PM TO 6 PM

LIVE MUSIC LINEUP Thursdays @ 7 PM

NICK VASQUEZ

Fridays & Saturdays @ 8

Sundays (Beginning @ Noon)

FRIED CHICKEN DINNER Mondays

GRILLED WHITEFISH Tuesdays

BURGER & A PINT 12 Wednesdays

December 5th @ 2 PM SUNSHINE STRING BAND

Thursdays

FRIED SHRIMP DINNER FLATBREAD & A PINT 12 Fridays

December 12th @ 2 PM PINE RIVER JAZZ BAND

FRIDAY NIGHT FISH FRY

December 18th @ 8:30 PM RHETT & JOHN

SURF 'N TURF

* Live Music Lineup Acts & Times subject to change

18 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

SUN C 11-5

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December 6th, 7th, & 14th @ 6:30 PM CHRISTMAS CAROLS WITH LEANNA

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Saturdays

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F Celebrate the Magic of the Season!

F

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gift certificates Visit us on facebook

Real Dog Treats Baked with Real Love

Vast selection of house-made dog treats lovingly baked in-house at Pets Naturally!

Traverse City • 231-944-1944 • PetsNaturallyTC.com • DogBakeryOnline.com

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 19

2021 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE THINK OUTSIDE THE (BIG) BOX

Gift Guide by Krista Weaver

No global supply chain issues here — northern Michigan’s small businesses already have everything you need.

Private Chef

Enjoy the culinary flavors of northern Michigan right at home with the gift of a personal chef for a night. Available from Harbor Springs to Traverse City to Cadillac, local private chefs not only give the perk of a night off for your recipient but also an expertly prepared three or four course meal for an intimate dinner with family or friends. Prices vary based on the number of guests, number of courses, food preferences, and desired wine pairings, if any. On average, expect to pay around $45+/hour or $100+/person, depending on your menu choices and the chef’s billing practices. BUT, they clean up when they’re done, so totally worth it. Three to try: Nathan Knickerbocker’s Q&A Cuisine, Traverse City, qacuisine.com; Chef Sarah, Little Traverse, www. chefsarahmcd.com; Chef Andrew Schudlich, Leelanau, www. epicureculinary.com (pictured).

Style and Substance

What’s a home without a welcome spot to rest one’s feet and soul? To truly spoil your loved one(s) in 2022, Paul Czamanske of Underbark Furniture is your guy.

With 45 years of experience. plus training at the London College of Furniture, his handcrafted mortise and tenon joinery furniture made in Burdickville is coveted by discriminating consumers everywhere. Using North American hardwoods (primarily black cherry, but he’ll work with whatever you request), his heirloom quality “New Mission” pieces are paired with buttery leather upholstery, making them the perfect NoMi-couture addition to any living, dining, or bedroom in the home or cottage. A stunning gift for the new homeowner, newlyweds, or empty nesters. Visit Underbarkfurniture. com or contact Paul at newmission@earthlink.net. Prices and lead times vary. $$$$

Custom Exotic Wood Golf Clubs

These aren’t your grandpa’s clubs. Handmade from Brazilian hardwoods like Ipe and Bocote, Jeff Eccleston’s Campfire Clubs are perfect examples of form meeting function. Not only are they totally playable, these putters and yes, even irons are totally displayable hung in an office or above the mantle. Fully customizable suede or leather grips are sewn with the thread color of your recipient’s choice, and putters’ soleplates can be hand-stamped with their name, a personalized sentiment, or significant date. Bust out your imagination’s A-game and contact Jeff for a gift certificate to work directly with your golfer and plan the custom design and club-fitting of their green dreams. Putters are a top seller with a 2-to-3-week lead time. $350+ jeff.eccleston@gmail.com, campfireclubs.com

Winter Fun Escape

Opened in 1939, Otsego Club was once a members-only winter playground for Michigan’s auto family elite. Today, open to the public since 2017, a day pass ($65) gives skiers access to 25 runs and five lifts; the resort also offers snowboarding, tubing ($10+), sledding, and cross-country ($15), and snowshoeing trails. Boasting panoramic views of the Sturgeon River Valley and the award-winning Duck Blind Grille, you have every reason to make a weekend out of it by booking one of the resort’s 80 guest rooms ($119+). Treat your favorite outdoor fanatics to a night or two here, and instantly become their favorite holiday travel agent. Gaylord. (998) 732-5181 or otsegoclub.com

20 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

Book of the Month Subscription

Be still our beating hearts! Gift a new book every month, individually chosen, by an expert bookseller based on your bookworm’s personal reading preferences! Brilliant Books Monthly is a one-of-a-kind personalized subscription service based on the recipient’s preferred genres, likes, and dislikes. There’s a version for every reader in your life, including kids, young adults, even those preferring audiobooks or large print. Unlike bigbox booksellers, Brilliant Books’ team of literati has their own areas of expertise and selection techniques. They even sweeten the deal with a super fun gift box of bookish goodies to tide your reader over until their first selection arrives in the mail. One year of hardcovers, $325, softcovers $225; six months of hardcovers, $175, softcovers, $115. brilliant-books.net

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Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 21

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2021 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE TICKLE THEIR TASTEBUDS

Gift Guide by Krista Weaver

If, like John Waters, the only thing they like better than talking about food is eating it, this list is for them. Or you. Because it has ideas for you … to buy for them. You get the idea.

Spice Things Up

Since 1984, when Alden Mill House first started selling Chef Geno’s iconic Miracle Blend, the family has continued developing and perfecting their offerings using only the finest, most carefully selected ingredients from around the world. Today, with more than 33 custom blends on hand, take the guesswork out of cooking and expand your foodie’s spice drawer with the 10-pack gift box of Alden’s perennial faves: Pork & Poultry, Italian, Char Broil-It, Garlic Lovers Delight, Herbs de Provence, Garlic Pepper, Malabar Island Pepper, Seasoned Pepper, Season All and, of course, the legendary Miracle Blend. $47.60 Local retailers and aldenmillhouse.com.

Private Cheese Class

Whaaat?! Yes, it’s a thing. The founder of Kingsley’s Boss Mouse Cheese, Sue Kurta, makes house calls.

Her private classes teach attendees how to make fresh mozzarella right in their own kitchen — apparently, it’s pretty easy — and a great gift for ages 12 and up.

Alternatively, those booking her Cheese 101 with Cheese and Wine class learn how to put together a killer cheese course or platter, all while drinking wine and learning the history of, let’s be honest, one of everyone’s favorite foods. You’ll never be happier to see a mouse in the house! Rates start at $200, plus supplies. For more details and contact info, bossmousecheese.com

Because You Eat & Know Things

Show them how food-savvy you are by giving them the 2021 Good Food Award Winner “Farm Style Sriracha” from Charlevoix’s Harwood Gold ($12.95, 8 oz jar). This is your familiar Asian rooster sauce, but Harwood Gold adds maple syrup to its version for a Michigan twist. The combination of sweetness with five different peppers and garlic will have taste buds exploding everywhere. It’s gluten-free and vegan/vegetarian-friendly. Use it on pizza, egg dishes, salad dressings, and even mashed potatoes. After all, we need to stay warm because winter is coming. Available at select local retailers and online at harwoodgold.com

Custom Wood Serving Piece

What better way to display a glorious cheese platter than on a one-ofa-kind black walnut or hickory charcuterie board accented with brilliant blue epoxy “waves?” The craftsmen at Leelanau Creative Designs, formally launched in August, are making waves with their custom furnishings ranging from drink coasters to tables. Combining hardwoods with epoxy accents brings their pieces alive with Big Lake hues — just like where the sand meets the lakeshore. They’ll even make you a table filled with all those Petoskey stones you’ve been stockpiling. Order now, though; there are some charcuterie boards in stock, but the lead time on custom boards ($150-$200) is three weeks. Their best-selling coasters ($20/each) are flying off the shelves too, but if you order now, they can be in your gifty little hands in about a week and a half. Contact Jeremy or Antonio at leelanaucreativedesigns@gmail.com to brainstorm your idea or visit them on Facebook for more examples of their work.

Sweet Stuff for Your Sweet Stuff

Move over, hot cocoa; Grocer’s Daughter Drinking Chocolate Mixes are where it’s at. These aren’t your sugary Swiss Miss cocoa powder mixes of yore. GD makes these with natural, highquality dark and milk chocolates that melt quickly and smoothly with hot water, milk, or even cream. What results is a rich, thick winter indulgence that’s less sweet than cocoa but even more decadent. Choose between milk, dark (vegan), and staff fave: 50 percent milk chocolate/50 percent dark. Or, get all three and let your recipient decide for themselves. $14.00/10-ounce bag, Grocers Daughter, Empire. Grocersdaughter.com

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 23

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Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 25

Small Towns, Big Holiday Spirit

By Lynda Wheatley

BOYNE CITY

Boyne City shops will throw open their doors for an extra-special night of shopping, snacks, and deals from 5pm to 9pm Nov. 26. Just make sure to be on the sidewalks at 6pm if you want to catch Santa and his parade of floats making their way to the tree lighting in Old City Park.

Bonus: Coldwell Banker Boyne City host a live nativity event that same night, 5pm to 8pm. Guests can enjoy chili and soups, hot dogs, cookies, hot cocoa, and coffee. Stiggs Brewery will be on-site offering complimentary 6oz pours, as will a petting zoo featuring a camel, donkey, goats, baby cows, and more — all of which kids can feed. Every dollar of donations made will go to the Charlevoix Humane Society and Stiggs’ Feed a Friend campaign.

CHARLEVOIX

Leave it to the town that lights up the lake with summer’s Venetian Festival to do a downtown light parade right. From 3pm to 6pm Nov. 26, you’ll find Black Friday deals at downtown shops, holiday crafts for the kids, and — at 5:30pm — a holiday parade with illuminated floats and music, followed by the community tree lighting celebration with Santa at East Park. More information: visitcharlevoix.com or (231) 547-2101.

Bonus: On Saturday, Dec. 4, merchants will go even bigger for the Holiday Merchant Open House, where shoppers will be treated to entertainment, samples, snacks, refreshments, special sales, raffles, and more all day long.

EAST JORDAN

Downtown East Jordan will welcome friends and neighbors for its annual Holiday Community Night on Dec. 5. Family, friends, and neighbors are invited to join together from 5pm to 7pm at the community Christmas tree to sing carols, watch a light parade, and even tell their wishes to Santa and Mrs. Claus. More information: ejchamber.org or (231) 536-7351.

December brings two options for small-town holiday fun at the tip of the Mitt. First, Friday, Dec.10 brings the Hometown Christmas Light Parade (6pm) and Santa Claus — atop a fire truck headed up Central Avenue — to Marina Park, where he’ll join members of the Mackinaw Area Arts Council for some caroling before lighting up the community Christmas tree at 6:30pm. The Mackinaw Woman’s Club will provide cookies, Audie’s Restaurant will bring the cocoa. On Saturday, Dec. 11, Colonial Michilimackinac will pull out all the stops — lantern-lit paths, King’s Cake, tea cakes, comfit, hot wassail, storytelling, games, and so much more — for its Colonial Christmas celebration.

Visitors will wend their way from the Barracks, Rowhouse, Ste. Anne’s Church (dressed for Christmas mass), the Priest’s House, and other historic buildings in this beautiful and educational tour made for families and history buffs. Tickets, $10 or less, are available at www.mackinacparks.com/a-colonial-christmas

MANISTEE

Celebrate the holidays Victorian style with Manistee’s Old Christmas weekend and Sleighbell Parade Dec. 2 through Dec. 5. Draft horses pull a 30-foot Christmas tree down River Street as locals dress in Victorian attire for caroling and additional festivities (Hear bagpipes! Meet reindeer! See luminaries!) Also on tap: the town’s Festival of Trees and guided tours of the historic 1894 Lumber Baron Mansion, which now houses the Dempsey Manor Bed and Breakfast Inn and Victorian Tea Room.

PETOSKEY

CEDAR

Santa’s bringing his reindeer to Cedar on Nov. 26 for a short but wonderfully sweet celebration that begins with a few furry friends from his team at 5:30, sees a holiday street illumination set aglow at 6pm, and then Santa himself at 6:30pm for the community tree lighting.

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26 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

MACKINAW CITY

The place to be in Petoskey on Nov. 27 is Pennsylvania Park at 5pm. That’s where you’ll find Gingerbread Lane — home to live music by the Northern Michigan Chorale, hot cocoa, a family photo backdrop, and cookie decorating from 5 – 6 pm, plus a mailbox ready to take kids’ letters to Santa (be sure and provide a return address!). Givers can also play Santa by dropping their unwrapped gifts for the U.S. Marine Corps’ Toys for Tots program at the park. Come 6pm, it’s time for the annual Downtown Petoskey Holiday Parade — a big one — with floats, walkers, trucks, and the Petoskey High School Marching Band and Steel Drum Bands making their way from Petoskey High School to downtown.

Shop ’til you drop between 9am and 3pm Nov. 27 at Frankfort’s Holly Berry Arts and Crafts Fair, the annual indoor holiday shopping experience at the Frankfort-Elberta High School. Come back to the pretty beach town at 7pm Dec. 4. That’s when the community gathers round the Christmas tree in Rotary Park for caroling and tree lighting. Attendees will see Santa and Mrs. Claus, complimentary donut holes and activities, plus free coffee and hot cocoa at Petals & Perks before and/or after the event.

Sneak peeks of Santa, big parades, little shops, lit-up trees. Lots of caroling, reindeer, cookies, cocoa, and even a camel. Here’s what some of our sweetest northern towns are planning to welcome you and the holiday season this year.

that day, at 8am, when select Leland shops open to host special early bird sales.)

Harbor Springs offers not one, but two evenings of holiday festivities downtown, beginning with the classic tree lighting, a 106-year-old tradition complete with caroling at 6pm Nov. 27. Kids who want to meet Santa should start the day at the Lyric Theatre, where a matinee showing of Disney’s Encanto will end (around 12:30pm) with somebody extra special waiting outside the theater. Hint: He looks good in red.

Bonus: Following the evening tree lighting, the public is invited to an ecumenical chili dinner in the Holy Childhood Parish Hall at 150 W Main St., just adjacent to the tree, for homemade cookies and hot cocoa, courtesy of the American Legion Auxiliary.

LELAND

Did you know Leland has a Christmas Tree Corner?

It’s a thing — aka the Village Green, on Main Street, across from the post office — and if you’re there before 6pm Friday, Nov. 26, you’ll catch the fire truck heading up Main Street to light the corner’s many trees. Afterward, Santa and Mrs. Claus will stroll the Green with treats for the kids. (Note: The treat for parents starts far earlier

A dazzling nighttime parade with horse-drawn carriages, brightly decorated vehicles, and lots of Christmas cheer, the Festival of Lights Parade will roll through the Black Hills of Rapid City for the 23rd year on Nov. 28. Line up along the route’s beginning at East Boulevard or along Main Street, the south end of 7th Street, or the east side of St. Joseph Street before 6pm.

SUTTONS BAY

Details are still being nailed down, but we know this much: Saturday, Nov. 27, is Family Day and Holiday Stroll in Suttons Bay. Stores, adorned with lights and holiday finery, will extend their business hours, carolers will sing on street corners, Santa will arrive via fire truck, and there will be a storytime with Mrs. Claus, plus a tree lighting and an opportunity to mail letters to Santa. Stay tuned to Suttonsbayarea.com for the schedule.

TRAVERSE CITY

Traverse City’s light parade and tree lighting came early this year, but the holiday fun continues downtown with twinkly lights, deals, drinks, and snacks on three more occasions: Black Friday & Small Business Saturday, Nov. 26 and 27; Ladies Shopping Night on Dec. 9, and Men’s Shopping Night on Dec. 16.

WALLOON LAKE VILLAGE

The annual Lighting of the Village runs 6pm to 9pm Nov. 24, and for a wee village, it’s a humdinger.

Attendees get to see the Petoskey Steel Drum Band, live reindeer, Mr. and Mrs. Claus, plus enjoy free hot chocolate, kids’ activities, and a cash bar. A donation station for Toys for Tots will be available, as will wares for sale by local vendors.

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Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 29

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Personal. Special. Handmade. (But not by you.)

The stressed shopper’s go-to guide to art and craft markets around the North

By Craig Manning 2021 might just be the toughest season ever for holiday shopping.

Lately, that’s the general wisdom being shared by retail experts and splattered across the headlines of national media outlets like CNBC and USA Today. The culprit is the supply chain, which is still suffering all sorts of kinks and bottlenecks thanks to COVID-19 and the backlogs and labor shortages the pandemic has triggered globally.

From books to vinyl records to electronics to ugly Christmas sweaters, there are tales of supply chain problems affecting virtually every go-to holiday gift category you could think of. Even Christmas lights are hard to find these days.

The conventional advice so far is simply to get your shopping done sooner rather than later. But what if you decided to skip chasing down hard-to-find (and so, usually more expensive) gifts altogether this year and shop uber-local instead? Great news — northern Michigan’s community of artists and artisans has you covered.

Each holiday season, local events calendars fill up with dozens of local craft shows.

Hosted by schools, churches, museums, arts organizations, nonprofits, local chambers of commerce, and more, these events provide outlets for local artists and artisans to show off and sell their wares. Usually structured as oldfashioned markets, with each artist manning a booth and selling their crafts directly to shoppers, these shows offer opportunities to find and fall in love with truly one-of-a-kind works of art. From paintings to wood bowls to homemade jewelry to glassware, you never quite know what you’ll find at a northern Michigan craft show.

This year’s string of craft shows is already off to the races, and if early turnouts are anything to judge by, the state of the supply chain is definitely pushing locals to get creative with their holiday shopping. Casein-point is the Dennos Museum in Traverse City, which hosted its annual Holiday Artist Market the first weekend of November.

According to Nicole Zeiler, who runs both the Dennos gift shop and the art show, the 2021 market was busier than ever before, with a “huge turnout” of nearly 2,000 attendees, as well as “record artist and store sales.”

“I know that our visitors expect to find quality handcrafted items that are unique and have a story behind them, because we are an art museum store, and we value those things,” Zeiler says of the Dennos holiday market. “I think not only do customers care more now about where their items are made and who made them, but they also care about supporting artists close to home and spending their dollars within the community. I believe this past year and a half has prompted many people to seek out gifts that are a bit more expressive, personal, and special, and that’s what artists offer. From conversations I’ve had with artists here in the museum store, I think many are feeling that support from this community.”

In anticipation of the holiday season, here’s a rundown of just some of the local craft shows that are on the calendar for the upcoming weeks. (Want more makers’ markets? We’ll continue to list coming shows in the Events section of future Northern Express issues and, as always, in our online Calendar at www.northernexpress.com.)

Jordan River Arts Center Holiday Gift Market, East Jordan

The show: The Jordan River Arts Center exists to support the artistic endeavors of local artists in and around the East Jordan area. The Center’s annual holiday gift market provides opportunities for those local artists to present and sell their goods to local shoppers, be they paintings or handmade ceramics.

Time and place: This year’s holiday gift market is already open and will run until Dec. 19, at Jordan River Arts Center, which can be found at 301 Main St. in East Jordan.

The Center usually hosts an off-site holiday art fair at East Jordan High School, but that event has been canceled this year.

More info: Learn more about the holiday gift market at www.jordanriverarts.com.

Charlevoix Circle mARkeT, Charlevoix

The show: Hosted annually by the Charlevoix Circle of Arts, the Charlevoix Circle mARkeT runs from mid-November to the end of December, giving interested parties plenty of time to shop for handmade gifts “from dozens of local crafters, makers, artists, jewelers, and more.” The majority of the proceeds go directly to the artists,

30 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

though Charlevoix Circle of Arts will take a small commission to cover the market’s operational costs.

Time and place: The market kicks off on the evening of Friday, Nov. 19, with an opening reception featuring complimentary food, drinks, and entertainment running from 5pm to 7pm. Thereafter, the market will operate until Dec. 30 at the Circle of Arts building in downtown Charlevoix, 109 Clinton St. Hours are 11am–4pm Monday through Friday and 11am–3pm Saturday.

More info: Visit the Charlevoix Circle of Arts website at www.charlevoixcircle.org for additional details.

JLH Ceramics, Merry Marketplace

Traverse City West Senior High Art & Craft Show, Traverse City

The show: Stop by Traverse City’s West Senior High for the 12th annual incarnation of the school’s annual holiday arts and crafts show, with more than 50 vendors “selling goods in paper, knit, woodwork, food, jewelry, and more.”

Time and place: Saturday, Nov.20 from 10am-4pm, at Traverse City West Senior High, 5376 N Long Lake Rd. More info: Those interested in learning more can contact TCAPS teacher Denise Ivester, at ivesterde@tcaps.net.

Evergreen Resort Fall Craft Show & Boutique, Cadillac

The show: For its annual autumn craft show, Evergreen Resort morphs four full rooms into a thriving bazaar of local artists and craftspeople — with food specials from the resort’s on-site restaurant, Curly’s Bar & Grill, available all day to keep attendees from dropping while they shop.

Time and Place: Saturday, Nov. 20 from 10am to 4pm, at Evergreen Resort in Cadillac, 7880 Mackinaw Trail.

More info: More details can be found on the Evergreen Resort Facebook page.

Santa’s Workshop Craft & Vendor Expo, Gaylord

The show: Local vendors, photos with Santa, Christmas songs and stories, Toys for Tots donations, and a Kids Workshop at the nearby Home Depot where families will be able to make Christmas crafts. These are just a few of the attractions at this huge holiday

extravaganza in Gaylord. Plus, the first 50 people through the door will even get a goodie bag packed with coupons, samples, and more.

Time and place: Saturday, Nov. 20 from 11am to 4pm, at The Ellison Place in Gaylord, located at 150 Dale Dr. More info: Learn more about the expo — including details about specific events, times, and vendors — at www.gaylordmichigan.net

Brother Dan’s Handmade Holiday Craft Show, Petoskey

The show: Christmas shopping for a good cause? That’s the name of the game at the annual Homemade Holiday Craft Show, hosted by Emmet County Parks and Recreation. All admission and concession proceeds from the event go toward the Brother Dan’s Food Pantry, to help feed local families in need throughout the Petoskey area. Admission is $2 per person or one nonperishable food item.

Time and Place: Saturday, Nov. 20 from 9am to 4pm. The event will be held in the Community Building at the Emmet County Fairgrounds, located at 1129 Charlevoix Ave. in Petoskey.

More info: Those interested in being vendors at the show, or who have any other questions about the event, can call the Emmet County Fairgrounds at (231) 348-5479.

Jordan River Arts Center

Indian River Christmas Craft Show, Indian River

The show: Hosted by the Indian River Chamber of Commerce, this northern Michigan holiday staple — marking its 40th year in 2021 — typically draws 150 crafters from throughout northern Michigan to display their wares.

Time and place: Friday, Nov. 26, from 9am to 3pm at Inland Lakes High School, located at 4363 S Straits Hwy. in Indian River.

More info: Those interested in learning more can find details at irchamber.com/ christmas-craft-show.

McBain PTO Holiday Craft Market

The show: Each year, the McBain PTO — the parent-teacher organization for the McBain Rural Agricultural School — hosts one of the biggest holiday craft shows in northern Michigan as a fundraiser. The event presents more than 170 booths of hand-crafted holiday décor and other items, spanning three gymnasiums at the school.

Time and place: Saturday, Nov. 27, from 9am to 3pm at McBain Rural Agricultural School, 107 E Maple St. in McBain.

More info: The latest news about this event can be found on the official McBain PTO Facebook page, at www.facebook.com/ McBainPTO.

Crooked Tree Arts Center’s Marketplace, Traverse City

Merry

The show: Crooked Tree Arts Center in Traverse City is debuting an ambitious new format for its Merry Marketplace event this year, spanning three full weekends of events. Each weekend will spotlight a different group of 20 or so artists or artisans. In addition to being able to buy handcrafted goods, attendees will have the option to meet the artists, observe artist

demonstrations, and even participate in hands-on art workshops.

Time and place: This year’s Merry Marketplace will consist of three consecutive Thursday-through-Saturday weekends, with different artists and events slated for the Dec. 2–4, Dec. 9–11, and Dec. 16–18 sessions. Hours are 4pm–8pm on Thursdays, 10am–2pm on Fridays, and 10am–3pm on Saturdays. Events will take place at Crooked Tree Arts Center’s Traverse City gallery location, at 322 Sixth St. Note that some workshop events are available as online or virtual offerings.

More info: For more details — including calendars and registration links for workshop events — go to www.crookedtree.org.

Samantha Hall illustration, Holiday MRKT

Arts for All of Northern Michigan’s Have a Heart Art Mart, Traverse City

The show: Arts for All of Northern Michigan — a nonprofit that offers “accessibility to arts education for children/ adults with disabilities” in the five-county region of Grand Traverse, Leelanau, Benzie, Kalkaska, Antrim — will host the Have a Heart Art Mart as a holiday fundraising event. The fair will feature over 25 artisan vendors, all of whom will donate 50 percent or more of their revenue to support the Arts for All of Northern Michigan mission.

The Real Estate One Charitable Foundation will match 50 percent of total funds raised during the event.

Time and Place: Friday, Dec. 3 through Sunday, Dec. 5, at the Arts for All of Northern Michigan Art Studio, located at 1129 Woodmere Ave., Suite A. Hours are 12pm–8pm on Friday, 11am–5pm on Saturday, and 12–4pm on Sunday.

More info: You can learn more about the Have a Heart Art Mart at www.artsforallnmi. org/events.

Lake Ann Elementary Holiday Craft Show, Interlochen

The show: Shop local handmade goods and enjoy concessions offered by the Lake Ann Elementary PTA. Time and Place: Saturday, Dec. 4 from 10am to 3pm at Lake Ann Elementary School, 19375 Bronson Lake Rd. in Interlochen.

More info: More details — including a vendor application — can be found on the Lake Ann Elementary Holiday Craft Show’s Facebook page.

The Christmas Shop, Gaylord

The show: Hosted by Northern Michigan Events, this annual craft show features over 100 vendors — with wares ranging from beads to candles to locally-made natural pet treats — as well as the X-factor: an on-site mimosa bar so you can “shop and sip.” Admission is $1, with proceeds going to local charities.

Time and place: 10am to 4pm Saturday,

Dec. 5 at The Ellison Place in Gaylord, located at 150 Dale Drive.

More info: For a full list of vendors, visit www.nmievents.com.

Holiday MRKT Share, Downtown Traverse City

The show: The Warehouse MRKT in downtown Traverse City invites customers to “come sip coffee and shop” at its annual Holiday MRKT Share event, which will feature a variety of handmade goods from local artisans.

Time and Place: Saturday, Dec. 18 from 10am to 3pm at the Warehouse MRKT in downtown Traverse City’s Warehouse District, located at 144 Hall St. More info: Vendors interested in being a part of this year’s MRKT Share can get the process started by sending photos and descriptions of their wares to merifalconer@ gmail.com. More details can be found on the Warehouse MRKT website, at www. warehousemrkt.com.

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 31

Our local suppliers are keeping us stocked with turkeys and produce for your holiday table.

32 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

THE GIVING SPIRIT Local author and retired school principal and Santa Bill O. Smith launches his latest book — and shares the tale of how his Chickadee stories began

By Brighid Driscoll Traverse City author Bill O. Smith didn’t expect to be living with his former motherin-law as a middle-aged man, but when her health began to decline due to dementia, he stepped in to care for her in the last years of her life.

“My own mom had died when I was pretty young, so I was close to my motherin-law. My divorce was amicable, I was at an age where I could retire, and she was living in a cottage that she really loved,” he says.

In truth, Smith hadn’t planned on retiring just yet. He was an elementary school principal then, with about 20 years in — most of them spent at schools in Suttons Bay and Traverse City, two places he loved. But, he says, he likewise had never planned on having a mother-in-law who was such a rare individual, a lady he describes as “moving through the day with a quiet, egoless radiance.”

“That was Faith, and I loved her,” he says.

As the 85-year-old’s condition worsened, it became increasingly clear she needed a full-time caregiver. But Faith didn’t want to leave her beloved cottage near North Bar, in the heart of the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore, so Smith offered to help. The family accepted, and he retired.

“Some people get a gold watch,” he says.

“I got Faith.”

IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT Eventually, a person with dementia loses the ability to speak. As Faith grew silent, she would spend long stretches of her days looking out the window and observing nature’s movements. In particular, she enjoyed watching the visiting chickadees.

“When people have dementia, for them, it’s not about their memories anymore. It’s about living in the moment and having moments of positive interaction,” says Smith.

One evening, as he watched Faith watching the chickadees, he saw her eyes following them as they flew away. And though she couldn’t verbalize it, he suspected she was wondering the same thing he was: Where do chickadees go at night He began creating clever rhymes about the chickadees to entertain Faith and create positive moments of interaction between the two.

“The repetition is fun; it makes you laugh. It made her laugh,” Smith says. As his mental library of rhymes and couplets

grew, he decided to shape them into something bigger. He created an entire story from these poems, then published as “Chickadees at Night.”

Illustrated by well-known northern Michigan artist Charles R. Murphy, the 2012 children’s book explores where the woodland birds go at night. Faith wasn’t the only one who delighted in the whimsical words about the mystery of her beloved birds’ nocturnal habits; kids and parents did, too.

So Smith began exploring more about the lively little birds, going on to write a second book, “The Chickadee Spirit,” which explores the community and forest fun of the chickadee world. He followed that with “Chickadeeland,” an environmentally focused tale with a message, then “Four a.m December 25th,” a Christmas-themed book for which he donated all profits to worthy veterans’ organizations.

Thanksgiving — usually at the corner of State and Cass streets, and kids would tell Smith … er, Santa what they wanted. Those exchanges fired up Smith’s imagination.

“I’d tell them things about what was going on at the North Pole — there’s a truck stuck in the Candy Cane Forest, that kind of thing. I’d get on the phone with Mrs. Claus, look up at the mayor and say ‘Really? The elves are working 25 hours a day!’”

Like his mother-in-law’s wide-eyed silence at the chickadees’ departure and laughter at Smith’s rhyming explanations for it, kids loved the tidbits “Santa” shared about what was happening at the North Pole.

Smith turned those ideas into the story of the “tough and tender, clever and bold, never ever afraid of the cold” chickadees, who of course, arrive just in time to help save Christmas.

A GIFT FOR SANTA This year, Smith has returned to where he started: Faith’s beloved chickadees. In his latest book, “Chickadees in December,” however, Smith took inspiration from his own experience with other little creatures.

For almost 10 years, Smith was Santa Claus for downtown Traverse City.

“They had the parade with Santa Claus coming in on a [fire truck]. I was always presented with the key to the city and that kind of thing,” he says.

Eventually, a tiny North Pole cottage appeared downtown the day after

A GIFT FOR ALL Like every one of Smith’s books, all profits from “Chickadees at Night” are donated. The recipients, Smith says, are all organizations he believes Faith would support — among them, Historic Sleeping Bear Preservation, Wings of Wonder, Father Fred Foundation, Salvation Army, and Traverse City’s VFW Post 2790.

The origins and results of Smith’s books might seem to be gifts he created to benefit Faith, kids, and his local community, but at heart, each seems to be as much a gift for the author himself.

As Smith tells Northern Express, “When the inevitable happens — when you or someone you love acquires big health problems — I hope you won’t spend too much time fixating on the past, on what is lost.

“The way to stay young is to look for the possibilities ahead. Plan for beautiful moments, delight in bursts of joy, discover a fresh sense of purpose. Surprising new worlds are out there, maybe as close as a backyard birdfeeder, or a loved one that needs a helping hand.”

You can find Bill O. Smith’s books at www. billosmith.com, Up North bookstores, and, of course, your local library.

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 33

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34 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

Vintage goods and Antiques!

Tuesday-Sunday 10-5 9053 Helena Rd, Alden, 231-331-5039 www.graceofalden.com on Facebook and Instagram

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BOYNE CITY’S EARLIER THAN THE BIRD HOLIDAY SHOPPING EVENT: 7-11am, Downtown Boyne City.

Come dressed in your pajamas to receive an Earlier Than the Bird mug & qualify for most retail specials. petoskeyarea.com/event-detail/ boyne-citys-earlier-than-the-bird-holidayshopping-event

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BOOK SALE: 9am-3pm, Alden District Library. Held in the Library during the TAAG Craft Show. There will be books, DVDs, CDs & puzzles. 231-331-4318.

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HANDMADE HOLIDAY CRAFT SHOW: 9am4pm, Emmet County Fairgrounds, Petoskey.

Benefits Brother Dan’s Food Pantry. The Community Building will host local vendors featuring handmade items for sale. Brother Dan’s will be collecting admission & concession sales to benefit feeding local families. Admission: $2 or a nonperishable food item.

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HOLIDAY ARTS & CRAFTS SHOW: 9am3pm, Helena Township Community Center, Alden. Sponsored by Torch Area Artisans Guild (TAAG). Free door prizes, bake sale. Free.

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MAPLE CITY SURVIVORS OF SUICIDE LOSS DAY: 9am-1pm, Glen Lake Community Schools, Maple City. International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is an event in which survivors of suicide loss come together to find connection, understanding, & hope through their shared experience. This event is for Survivors of Suicide Loss only.

Free. isosld.afsp.org/maple-city-michigan

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TOY TOWN TROT 5K: 9am, starts behind Toy Town at Lake St., between the pavilion & water fountain, Cadillac. It will raise money for Toys for Tots of Wexford & Missaukee counties. $35 for 18+; $25 for under 18. toytowncadillac.com/events

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Crooked Tree Arts Center, Visual Arts Classroom, TC. For kids in 9th-12th grades. Get feedback on your creative work in a one-onone session with CTAC faculty. Complete the free registration. CTAC will contact you to schedule your 20 minute one-on-one session. Free. crookedtree.org/class/ctactraverse-city/high-school-portfolio-prep-portfolio-review

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HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE: 10am-10pm, Downtown Bellaire. Shop, eat & be merry.

Participating merchants are ready to kick off the holiday season.

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SUTTONS BAY FRIENDS & FAMILY WEEKEND: Nov. 19-21. Storewide sales & specials will be offered & vary by store. Stroll Christmas Tree Lane & visit over 50 decorated trees all decked out by a variety of community & school groups. Support extended local families with donations for Leelanau Christian Neighbors. Designated boxes will be available at participating stores. LCN is in urgent need of personal care products, nonperishable food items, honey, maple syrup & spices. Letters to Santa kits will also be available for the kids.

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HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE: 11am-6pm, Whistling Frog Tile’s Art Gallery, Alden. Local art, wine & cheese. whistlingfrog.net

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SANTA’S WORKSHOP CRAFT & VENDOR EXPO: 11am-4pm, The Ellison Place, Gaylord. First 50 people through the door will receive a free goodie bag. RSVP on the event page as “going” to be entered into the $50 VISA giveaway. Must RSVP

by Nov. 15 to be entered, & must be present to win. Drawing at 3pm. facebook.com/ events/295102298647114

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HIGH SCHOOL PORTFOLIO PREP - PORTFOLIO REVIEW: 10am-2pm,

TOYS FOR TOTS DROP-OFF EVENTS: Please stay in your car while dropping off

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send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

MYRTLE & MAUDE’S CHRISTMAS ON THE FARM: 10am-5pm, 10937 Elk Lake Rd., Williamsburg. Featuring holiday decor items, Michigan made gifts, a hot cocoa bar, winter farms tours on a wagon ride, & much more. facebook.com/Myrtleandmaudes

COME & CREATE!: 10am-noon, Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. Drop-In Saturday Mornings. Designed for two age groups: 8 & up & 7 & under. Nov. 20th’s theme is Architecture.

Free. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

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20-28

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CRANKSGIVING: Noon, Norte Wheelhouse, GT Civic Center, TC. Part bicycle ride, part food drive. Riders will be provided a list of food items & tasked with purchasing them. The groceries will be donated to local food pantries. In addition to shopping, participants will be challenged to commit at least one act of random kindness on the route. Expect to ride 2-5 miles. Individual bicyclists as well as teams are invited to participate. No entry fee; plan on spending $25 on products. elgruponorte.org/outreach/cranksgiving

12TH ANNUAL TC WEST SENIOR HIGH ART & CRAFT SHOW: 10am-4pm, TC West Senior High, TC. Over 50 vendors selling goods in paper, knit, woodwork, food, jewelry & more. For more info, email: ivesterde@tcaps.net.

november

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Holiday festivities have begun! With tree lightings, parades, visits from Santa, Mrs. Claus and their reindeer, caroling, arts and crafts fairs, horse drawn carriage rides, and more, there are plenty of events to get you in the spirit!

After you shop with your PJ’s on in Glen Arbor from 6-8am on Fri., Nov. 26 to get specials on your holiday gifts, roll your bed on wheels down Western Avenue in Glen Arbor at 9am during the Bed Parade! Beginning outside the Pine Cone and finishing at the Post Office, enjoy a treat afterwards from Leelanau Coffee Roasters or Art’s Tavern.

a new, unwrapped toy. A limited number of Great Wolf Lodge water park passes will be distributed with toy donations. The passes will only be available while the supply of 1,500 passes lasts. Volunteers will be at Bill Marsh Auto, Fox Grand Traverse & the Great Wolf Lodge from 12-2pm. 933-0344.

lows the titular character as he embarks on a fanciful journey to find fulfillment. As his path leads him through twists, turns, & do-overs, Pippin discovers that true happiness is often found where we least expect it. $30 full price; $14 student. interlochen.org/events/ pippin-2021-11-19

IN STORE BOOK SIGNING: 1-3pm, Horizon Books, TC. Mae Keller, Kay Bond & Andrew White present “The Farrants of Glen Haven and Empire.” horizonbooks.com

“THE NUTCRACKER”: Elk Rapids High School. Presented by the Northwest Michigan Ballet Theatre at 2pm & 7pm. $12-$20. mynorthtickets.com/events/the-nutcracker-11-20-2021

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“PIPPIN”: 2pm & 7:30pm, Interlochen Center for the Arts, Corson Auditorium. Enjoy Stephen Schwartz & Roger Hirson’s Tonynominated musical, “Pippin.” Loosely based on real-life medieval king Charlemagne & his son Pippin, the play-within-a-musical fol-

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KIDS SHOW WITH ROBBIE SCHAEFER: 2pm, Cadillac Elks Lodge. Enjoy this musician, songwriter & playwright devoted to service through the arts. He is the guitarist & songwriter for the indie folk band Eddie From Ohio & has released several solo albums,

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 35

including his most recent, 2017′s “Sounds Like Home: Songs From the Musical, Light Years.” Admission for families is a new child’s hat or pair of mittens/gloves which will be donated to those in need. mynorthtickets.com/ events/robbie-schaefer-11-20-2021-93397

november

20-28

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HOW CAN WE KEEP FROM SINGING?: 3pm & 7:30pm, Great Lakes Center for the Arts, Bay Harbor. Presented by the Northern Michigan Chorale. Enjoy patriotic songs of gratitude, Broadway selections, & music from Burt Bacharach, Simon & Garfunkel, and Lerner & Lowe. Tickets: $15 adults, $12 seniors 65+, $12 students 11-18, free for 10 & under. greatlakescfa.secure.force.com/ ticket/#/events/a0S4R00000c5COqUAM

live

stand-up

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DOWNTOWN TC LIGHT PARADE, SANTA’S ARRIVAL & TREE LIGHTING: Downtown TC. Enjoy Santa Claus, carolers, thousands of lights, & a merry celebration. Music begins around the tree located at the corner of Cass & Front streets at 5:30pm. Santa & the mayor will light the tree around 6pm. The Light Parade will kick off at about 6:30pm.

Free. downtowntc.com

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BILL BUS

HART

november 26-27 HOUR Detroit Named Bill bushart “Best of Detroit Stand Up” (2019). He has been featured on WDIV Channel 4, WRIF, Detroit News and Detroit Free Press. Bill has worked with stand up greats such as Gilbert Gottfried and more!

december 3-4 Michael Harrison has become a favorite at clubs all over North America, Asia, Australia, and Europe!

With an engagingly relatable and energetic style, Michael’s humor garners accolades in any venue.

ARRISON

MICHAEL H

november 12-13 Jeff Horste covers lighthearted topics such as book bags, candy corn, and racial inequality. His comedic ability is blessed by whatever God you Jeff Horste believe in so as to not offend you. Jeff has showcased his talents on Comedy Central twice and has appeared on “Laughs” on both Hulu and Fox and performs at top comedy clubs and venues across the country.

DECember 30-31

y

Mike Stanle

WRY, WITTY, CUNNING, AND CRASS. Detroit native Mike Stanley is all of these things AND none.

Yeah, he's pretty hilarious but, more than just coarse anecdotes about life and sex, there's an enviable amount of heart and warmth behind Stanley's humor. He’s been named "Best Chicago Stand-up Comedian" in a Peoples Choice poll done by the Chicago Reader and “Best Detroit Comedian”

by HOUR Magazine.

arty! p e v e s ’ r a new ye champagne toast y• ner • comed

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tickets starting at $15 traversecitycomedyclub.com or call 231.421.1880 ask about hosting your next event here!

738 S. Garfield Avenue, Traverse City

10TH ANNUAL MICHIGAN BEER & WINE FESTIVAL: 6-10pm, Treetops Convention Center, Gaylord. Taste an array of Michigan craft beer, cider & wine. Learn about beer & wine making, tasting notes, & the operations of local beer & wine makers. Enjoy food stations from Treetops’ culinary team. $40 per person; includes 15 tasting tickets, access to the event, & souvenir glass/mug. Designated drivers: Admission is free & you receive a souvenir glass/mug for non-alcoholic beverages. treetops.com/events/michigan-beerwine-festival

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GOPHERWOOD CONCERTS: ROBBIE SCHAEFER: 7-9pm, Cadillac Elks Lodge.

Enjoy this musician, songwriter & playwright devoted to service through the arts. He is the guitarist & songwriter for the indie folk band Eddie From Ohio & has released several solo albums, including his most recent, 2017′s “Sounds Like Home: Songs From the Musical, Light Years.” $7 - $15. mynorthtickets.com/ events/robbie-schaefer-11-20-2021-93397

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SWINGSHIFT AND THE STARS: Nonprofits AC Paw, COGNiTiON & Love Thy Neighbor are participating this year for your donation. New this year… the virtual experience “Beyond the Competition” will allow you to watch, vote & donate to your favorite nonprofit from the comfort of your very own screen. Airing November 19-20 at 7pm & a 3pm matinee on Nov. 21. Free; viewing donation requested. swingshiftandthestars.org

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“THE SAVANNAH SIPPING SOCIETY”: 7:30pm, Old Town Playhouse, TC. Filled with laughter & misadventures, middle-aged women successfully bond & find the confidence to jumpstart their new lives. Performances are Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays from Nov. 18 - Dec. 4, starting at 2pm on Sundays & 7:30pm on all other days. (No performance on Thanksgiving.) Adults: $28; youth under 18: $15 (plus fees). tickets.oldtownplayhouse.com/ TheatreManager/1/login&event=357

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CHRIS JANSON: 8-10pm, Little River Casino Resort, Manistee. This country music star took home the trophy for ACM Video of the Year for his Gold-certified hit song “Drunk Girl.” It was named one of the “Ten Songs I Wish I’d Written” by NSAI. His chart-topping, double-Platinum smash “Buy Me A Boat” earned the same NSAI honor, making him one in a handful of the industry’s most elite artists to earn the title multiple times. $60, $70, $75. lrcr.com/event-calendar/concerts/ chris-janson

36 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

nov 21

sunday

MYRTLE & MAUDE’S CHRISTMAS ON THE FARM: (See Sat., Nov. 20)

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SUTTONS BAY FRIENDS & FAMILY WEEKEND: (See Sat., Nov. 20)

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SUGAR PLUM FAIRY TEA: 1-3pm, Stafford’s Perry Hotel, Petoskey. Enjoy an afternoon of festive activities with principal performers of the Crooked Tree Arts Center School of Ballet’s “The Nutcracker,” including: Clara, Nutcracker, Snow Queen, Dew Drop Fairy, & the Sugar Plum Fairy. Each reservation includes tea or lemonade, treats, tea sandwiches, a reading of “The Nutcracker” story, & a ticket to a performance of “The Nutcracker.” Performances of “The Nutcracker” are Dec. 11 at 3pm & 7pm, & Dec. 12 at 3pm at the Great Lakes Center for the Arts, Bay Harbor. Adults, $35; up to age 18: $30. crookedtree.org/event/ctac-petoskey/ sugar-plum-fairy-tea-0

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“THE SAVANNAH SIPPING SOCIETY”: (See Sat., Nov. 20)

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HOW CAN WE KEEP FROM SINGING?: 3pm, Great Lakes Center for the Arts, Bay Harbor. Presented by the Northern Michigan Chorale. Enjoy patriotic songs of gratitude, Broadway selections, & music from Burt Bacharach, Simon & Garfunkel, and Lerner & Lowe. Tickets: $15 adults, $12 seniors 65+, $12 students 11-18, free for 10 & under. greatlakescfa.secure.force.com/ticket/#/ events/a0S4R00000c5COqUAM

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NMC CHILDREN’S CHOIRS HOLIDAY CONCERT: 3pm, Lars Hockstad Auditorium, TC. Enjoy holiday songs from around the world. $7 - $12. mynorthtickets.com/ events/nmc-childrens-choirs-holiday-concert-11-21-2021

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SWINGSHIFT AND THE STARS: (See Sat., Nov. 20)

nov 22

monday

KID’S CRAFT LAB: SCRAPPY LITTLE TURKEY: 1pm & 3:30pm, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Spread out a turkey tail fan using scrap paper for feathers. Sign up when you reserve your attendance at the Museum. greatlakeskids.org

nov 23

tuesday

nov 24

wednesday

MARKET AT THE MUSEUM: 4-8pm, Harbor Springs History Museum. Enjoy a variety of local foods & gifts.

Featuring 12 vendors.

STORYTIME ADVENTURES: 10:30am, 1pm & 3:30pm, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Featuring “I’m A Turkey” by Jim Arnosky. Jim created a picture book from a catchy, spoken-word song that is a favorite in schools. This humorous song filled with factual information about turkeys is fun for Thanksgiving — & all year round. greatlakeskids.org

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SALVATION ARMY THANKSGIVING COMMUNITY MEAL: 11am-2pm, The Sal-

vation Army, 1239 Barlow St., TC. The Salvation Army invites the community to join them in friendship, fellowship, & Thanksgiving. A traditional Thanksgiving meal with all the fixings will be served to-go from food trucks. Free. centralusa.salvationarmy.org/ traversecity/events/salvation-army-thanksgiving-community-meal

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ANNUAL WALLOON LAKE VILLAGE LIGHTING: 6-9pm, The Talcott Event Center & downtown Walloon Lake Village. Enjoy a live performance from the Petoskey Steel Drum Band, live reindeer, & a visit from Santa & Mrs. Claus. In the Talcott, there will be complimentary cookie decorating, shopping & more. Free.

nov 25

thursday

14TH ANNUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TRAVERSE CITY TURKEY TROT: 123 E. Eleventh St., TC. Featuring a 5K Run/Walk & 5 Mile Flier. $25 for 5K; increases to $30 after first 200 people register. Price also increases after Sept. 30. $30 for 5 Mile Flier; price increases after Sept. 30. 8:45am start for 5 Mile Flier & 9am start for 5K. runsignup.com/Race/MI/ TraverseCity/TraverseCityTurkeyTrot

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11TH ANNUAL BOYNE CITY KIWANIS TURKEY TROT: 9am, Veterans Park, Pavilion, Boyne City. Featuring a 5K & 1 Mile Fun Run. $30 pre-registration; $35 day of event. runsignup.com/Race/MI/BoyneCity/KiwanisBoyneCityTurkeyTrot

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TURKEY LEG 5K RUN/WALK: 9am, Zorn Park, near the cannon on Bay St., Harbor Springs. Day-Of Registration: 8:15-8:45am.

Pre-Race Meeting: 8:50am. Proceeds benefit the Harbor Springs Food Pantry. $10/ person. outfitterharborsprings.com/pages/ turkey-leg-5k-run-walk

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TURKEY VULTURE TROT 5K & 1-MILE FUN RUN: 9am, Crystal Mountain, Mountain Center Road course, Thompsonville.

5K: $25; 1-Mile Fun Run: $10. A portion of the proceeds will benefit North Sky Raptor Sanctuary. crystalmountain.com/event/5kturkey-vulture-trot

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YMCA OF NORTHERN MICHIGAN TURKEY TROT 5K: 9am, Pennsylvania Park, Petoskey. $30/person; $50/family of 2; $80/family of 4. runsignup.com/Race/MI/ Petoskey/YMCATurkeyTrot2021

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COMMUNITY THANKSGIVING DINNER: 12:30pm, The Church of the Straits, Mackinaw City. Please bring your own table service & favorite holiday dish to pass. 231-436-8682.

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COMMUNITY THANKSGIVING FEAST – FRIENDSGIVING: Joseph Catholic Church, East Jordan. Games & snacks at 1pm. Dinner served at 2pm. Free.

nov 26

friday

GLEN ARBOR PJ PARTY: 6-8am. Glen Arbor businesses offer ‘once-a-year worthy specials’ during this annual shopping event. Dress festive & cozy to get your local holiday shopping done at participating retailers. visitglenarbor. com/event/pj-party-shopping-2021

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BED PARADE: Cheer on participants as they roll their festively decorated beds on wheels down Western Avenue in Glen Arbor.

The parade begins at 9am just outside the Pine Cone, & finishes at the Post Office. En-

no 19

joy a post-parade treat from Leelanau Coffee Roasters or Art’s Tavern, which will be open for breakfast. Open to everyone. No registration required. 630-776-0036.

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GOBBLE GOBBLE WATCH ME WOBBLE WALK: 9am, Running Fit, 300 E. Front St., Ste. 103, TC. Burn off some Thanksgiving calories with a fun walk through downtown TC. Free.

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INDIAN RIVER CHRISTMAS CRAFT SHOW: 9am, Inland Lakes High School, Indian River. Check out holiday gift ideas from over 100 local vendors. Admission is $5 or an unwrapped toy for local charities.

Children under 12 are free. facebook.com/ events/943901449835895

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BLACK FRIDAY & SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY: Downtown TC, Nov. 26-27.

Support local merchants!

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STORYTIME ADVENTURES: 10:30am, 1pm & 3:30pm, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Featuring “I’m A Turkey” by Jim Arnosky.

Jim created a picture book from a catchy, spoken-word song that is a favorite in schools.

This humorous song filled with factual information about turkeys is fun for Thanksgiving — & all year round. greatlakeskids.org

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CHARLEVOIX HOLIDAY PARADE & TREE LIGHTING CELEBRATION: Downtown Charlevoix. 3-5pm: Holiday craft & photos with Santa. 5:30pm: Holiday parade.

6pm: Tree lighting. business.charlevoix.org/ events/details/holiday-parade-tree-lightingcelebration-13333

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BENZIE COUNTY HABITAT FOR HUMANITY FESTIVAL OF TREES: 4-6pm, Benzie Area Historical Museum, Benzonia. Runs Nov. 26-28. Featuring over 100 items. Volunteers decorate both real & artificial trees & wreaths as well as table decorations. All decorations & trees are given a minimum bid with visitors bidding in an online auction for the piece – or pieces – they enjoy most. benziehabitat.org/festival-of-trees

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CHRISTMAS IN INDIAN RIVER: Enjoy the annual Christmas Parade & Tree Lighting by Santa in Indian River. The Parade starts at 5pm at S. Straits Hwy. & River St. with the tree lighting & kids meet & greet (at Indian River Library) with Santa to follow. Free. facebook.com/events/406281064468124

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HOLIDAY TRAIL CELEBRATION: Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. 5-5:30pm: First Light Celebration with Santa, who will make his way through the resort core from Kinlochen to the Crystal Center on a Horse Drawn Surrey. He’ll help light Crystal Mountain’s holiday tree at 5:30pm. 5:30-9pm: Holiday Trail Stops. crystalmountain.com/event/first-light

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LIGHT UP CEDAR: 5pm, Downtown Cedar.

Some of Santa’s reindeer will be making a special appearance at this event at about 5:30pm, followed by the holiday street illumination at 6pm. Santa himself will arrive to light the community tree at 6:30pm.

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LIVE NATIVITY: 5-8pm, Coldwell Banker parking lot, 231 Water St., Boyne City. Complimentary chili/soups, hot dogs, cookies, hot cocoa & coffee. Live camel, donkey, goats, baby cows & sheep, & food for the kids to feed the animals. Stiggs will have complimentary 6 oz. pours available. 100% of Coldwell Banker donations benefit Charlevoix Humane Society. 100% of Stiggs Brewery donations benefit “Stiggs Feed A Friend.”

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CROSS VILLAGE COMMUNITY HOLIDAY TREE LIGHTING: 5:30pm, Three Pines Studio, Cross Village. Create your own or-

nament during Three Pines Studio’s Holiday Open House from 12-4pm. Then help hang them on the tree. threepinesstudioandgallery.godaddysites.com

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BOYNE CITY SANTA PARADE & HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE: Downtown Boyne City, Water & Lake streets. A tree lighting ceremony will be held at 6pm, followed by the parade.

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HOLIDAY MARKET OPENING: Bring your holiday spirit & join the community at the Glen Arbor Town Hall for Christmas Caroling & the Lighting of the Tree at 6:15pm. Carols will be led by members of the Glen Lake Church team. The tree will be ceremonially lit by Leonard Thoreson. Warm up indoors & be the first to shop artisan goods. The market features a curated selection of locally made goods from 24 vendors. Masks required when indoors. visitglenarbor.com/ event/holiday-market-2021

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“THE SAVANNAH SIPPING SOCIETY”: (See Sat., Nov. 20)

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COMEDY WITH BILL BUSHART: 7:30pm, TC Comedy Club, TC. Bill has performed at the Odd Ball Comedy Fest, headlined Michigan’s Brew HaHa & Laughfest in Grand Rapids & was named funniest comic in Detroit by readers of the Metro Times. $15-$25. etix. com/ticket/e/1022666/bill-bushart-traversecity-traverse-city-comedy-club-at-grand-traverse-event-center

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INTERLOCHEN ARTS ACADEMY CONTEMPORARY MUSIC SHOWCASE: 7:30pm, The Garden Theater, Frankfort.

Members from each of the Jazz, Popular Music, Music Production, & Singer/Songwriter programs will perform. $20/person. frankfortgardentheater.com/upcoming-events

nov 27

saturday

HOLLY BERRY ARTS & CRAFTS FAIR: 9am-3pm, Frankfort High School. Featuring over 100 artists.

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BLACK FRIDAY & SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY: (See Fri., Nov. 26)

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CHRISTMAS IN THE VILLAGE ARTS & CRAFTS SHOW: 10am-4pm, Northport Village Arts Building. Two venues for the arts & crafts show: Village Arts Building at 301 N. Mill St. & Willowbrook Mill at 201 N. Mill St. northportartsassociation.org

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GLEN ARBOR HOLIDAY MARKETPLACE: 10am-3pm. Shop from a selection of artisan made gifts, held inside the Town Hall, Glen Arbor. Goods available include: pastel paintings, cards & postcards, logo merchandise, fine art photography, scarves & gloves, & much more. visitglenarbor.com/ event/holiday-market-2021

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HOLIDAY IN THE VILLAGE: A FAMILY DAY & HOLIDAY STROLL: Downtown Suttons Bay. Highlights include Caroling on the Corner, Santa arriving via fire truck, story time with Mrs. Claus, tree lighting, mail letters to Santa, gifts from Santa, extended business hours & more.

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HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE RIDES: 10am-noon, Frankfort High School. Also visit with Santa & Mrs. Claus. Free.

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SHOP SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY, DOWNTOWN BELLAIRE: 10am-10pm.

Participating merchants will offer one day sales, & drink & food specials.

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SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY, GAY-

LORD: Support small businesses by shopping local. Sales at Saturn Booksellers, Gaylord from 10am-6pm. saturnbooksellers. com/event/small-business-saturday-dontmiss-it

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MEET SANTA & MRS. CLAUS: 11am-1pm, Crystal River Outfitters Recreational District, M22 Glen Arbor Wine Patio, Glen Arbor.

Share holiday wishes & pose for family pictures. Free. crystalriveroutfitters.com

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NORTHPORT CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES: 11am-1pm: Letters to Santa & Storytime at Leelanau Township Library. 12:30-2:30pm: Cookie & gingerbread house decorating at Northport Pub & Grille. 3:30-6:30pm: Wagon rides in front of the Christmas tree.

4-6pm: Meet Santa’s reindeer at Around The Corner. 4:30-5:15pm: Caroling throughout downtown with the Village Voices. 5:30pm: Northport Band & Village Voices performing at Mitten fireplace. 5:55pm: Santa arrives at Christmas tree. 6pm: Tree lighting at Mitten Brewery. 6:30-11:30pm: Live DJ & karaoke at Northport Pub & Grille. northportomenachamber.org/christmas-in-the-village

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BENZIE COUNTY HABITAT FOR HUMANITY FESTIVAL OF TREES: 12-6pm, Benzie Area Historical Museum, Benzonia. Runs Nov. 26-28. Featuring over 100 items. Volunteers decorate both real & artificial trees & wreaths as well as table decorations. All decorations & trees are given a minimum bid with visitors bidding in an online auction for the piece – or pieces – they enjoy most. benziehabitat.org/festival-of-trees

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HARBOR SPRINGS HOLIDAY EVENTS: 12:30pm: Santa will be outside the Lyric Theatre to meet & greet kids. 6pm: Christmas Tree Lighting on Main St., downtown Harbor Springs. Gather with your friends & neighbors to sing carols. Following, will be an ecumenical chili dinner in the Holy Childhood Parish Hall at 150 W. Main St. Also enjoy homemade cookies & hot cocoa. harborspringschamber.com/events/details/ christmas-tree-lighting-2021-8046

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SHOP SMALL BUSINESSES IN EAST JORDAN: Let your kids shop for their loved ones & get a free ornament. Jordan River Arts Center will have extended hours today from 1-4pm & 5-8pm.

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FREE SHOWING OF “THE POLAR EXPRESS”: 1:30pm, The Bay Theatre, Suttons Bay.

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“MINGLE & JINGLE”: East Jordan. 4pm: Tree lighting on the corner of Spring & Hammond streets. Following will be caroling around the tree. Afterwards head to The Boathouse for the “Jubilee of Trees for 501C3’s,” featuring 25 decorated trees donated by local businesses, organizations & individuals for this unique silent auction. The Jordan Valley Community Band will perform at 4:30pm. The East Jordan Co-Op Nursery’s Holiday Bake Sale will take place from 4:308pm at The Boathouse. Remember to get your shopping passport card. ejchamber.org

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MEET SANTA’S REINDEER: 4-6pm, Around the Corner Food and Fun, Northport.

Enjoy some holiday treats as well. Free.

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LIGHTS SPECTACULAR: 5-8pm, Treetops Resort, Top of the Hill. Enjoy wagon rides, Elf on Stilts, light display on the top of the slopes, a bonfire with Smores, the new tubing area on display, photos with Santa & more. Register: 866-348-5249. Free. treetops.com/events/lights-spectacular

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ALDEN’S OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION: 5:30pm, Alden Village

101 N. Bridge St - Bellaire nativeandnorth.com

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 37

Center. Featuring Santa, refreshments, tree lighting, caroling & treats for the kids.

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LIGHT UP THE NIGHT - HOLIDAY PARADE DOWNTOWN PETOSKEY: 6pm.

Floats, walkers, trucks, the Petoskey High School Marching Band & Steel Drum Bands, & Santa will make their way from Petoskey High School to downtown. Bring the little ones to Pennsylvania Park to experience Gingerbread Lane. Family-friendly activities include live music by the Northern Michigan Chorale, hot cocoa, a family photo backdrop, & cookie decorating from 5–6pm. petoskeydowntown.com/downtown-events/light-upthe-night-holiday-parade

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COMEDY WITH BILL BUSHART: 7pm, TC Comedy Club, TC. Bill has performed at the Odd Ball Comedy Fest, headlined Michigan’s Brew HaHa & Laughfest in Grand Rapids & was named funniest comic in Detroit by readers of the Metro Times. $15-$25. etix. com/ticket/e/1022666/bill-bushart-traversecity-traverse-city-comedy-club-at-grand-traverse-event-center

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DAVE CALENDINE CONCERT: 7pm, The Music House Museum, Williamsburg.

Enjoy an evening listening to holiday favorites played on the Mighty Cinderella Wurlitzer by Red Wings Associate Organist Dave Calendine. $25. mynorthtickets.com/ events/come-enjoy-a-nice-relaxing-concertof-christmas-favorites-performed-on-themighty-cinderella-wurlitzer-by-red-wings-associate-organist-dave-calendine-11-27-2021

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GIFT CARDS AVAILABLE 2 38The-Woods_Magazine-Ad.indd • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

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“THE SAVANNAH SIPPING SOCIETY”: (See Sat., Nov. 20)

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CHRISTMAS WITH THE ASSOCIATION: 8pm, Odawa Casino, Ovation Hall, Petoskey.

Enjoy a holiday show with this successful band from the 60’s, who has sold millions of records, tapes, CDs & DVDs, as well as earned a number of achievements including a Golden Globe nomination in 1970 for Best Original Song - “Goodbye Columbus.”

In 1967, The Association made history being the first band anywhere to open a rock festival - the now historic Monterey Pop Festival. $20. etix.com/ticket/p/8976796/christmaswith-the-association-petoskey-ovation-hall

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COMEDY NIGHT WITH DWAYNE GILL: 8-10pm, Treetops Resort, Convention Center, Gaylord. A Marine, A Cop and A Comic!

Dwayne’s topics range from current events, men & women relationships, to the crazy situations he’s encountered as a police officer. As an actor, he has appeared in the ABC crime drama “Detroit 1-8-7,” & the movie “Crave.” He recently shot a pilot for a new sitcom starring him called “Joe vs Joe.” Dwayne has shared the stage with Louis Anderson, Tim Allen & has opened for Aretha Franklin. Show opener tonight will be Nate Armbruster. $25/person; $40/couple; $30 at door. treetops.com/events/comedy-night

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Medical Card Holders

Flowers prices as low as $6 grams,

High quality top shelf products

FRANKFORT COMMUNITY TREE LIGHTING: 7pm, Rotary Park, Frankfort.

8/5/21 9:08 AM

THE VILLAGE TREE LIGHTING: The Village at GT Commons, historic front lawn, TC. Enjoy hot chocolate & Christmas music while awaiting the 6pm countdown.

nov 28

sunday

BENZIE COUNTY HABITAT FOR HUMANITY FESTIVAL OF TREES: 12-3pm, Benzie Area Historical Museum, Benzonia. Runs Nov. 26-28. Featuring over 100 items. Volunteers decorate both real & artificial trees & wreaths

as well as table decorations. All decorations & trees are given a minimum bid with visitors bidding in an online auction for the piece – or pieces – they enjoy most. benziehabitat.org/ festival-of-trees

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“THE SAVANNAH SIPPING SOCIETY”: (See Sat., Nov. 20)

ongoing

STROLLING LIGHTS FESTIVAL: Crystal River Outfitters Recreational District, Glen Arbor. Pre-lit tees will be placed on the grounds of the Crystal River Outfitters Recreational District by Nov. 12. Sponsor a tree for $150 with a minimum of $100 per sponsored tree going towards Glen Lake Schools Student Assistance Fund. Groups & families can choose a theme & must provide all decorations (tree, lights & stands will be provided

by Crystal River Outfitters). The sponsoring families/groups may then decorate their tree through Nov. 27. It is the hope then that all trees will be fully decorated & available for strolling by all through the New Year. crystalriveroutfitters.com/strolling-lights-festival

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FREE MUSIC TICKETS FOR VETS: The Great Lakes Chamber Orchestra & Sturgeon River Pottery have initiated the Sturgeon River Pottery Veterans Ticket Program that allows veterans & active members of the U.S. military with valid documentation to receive two complimentary tickets to ticketed main stage performances. The next performances are Dec. 16-17 when GLCO presents its annual “Messiah” holiday concerts at 7pm on both nights at Great Lakes Center for the Arts, Bay Harbor. Veterans interested in claiming free tickets can call 231-487-0010.

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INDOOR FARMERS MARKET: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, The Village at GT Commons, The Mercato corridor in Building 50, TC. thevillagetc.com

art

ANNUAL ART TREE & SMALL GIFT SHOW: Higher Art Gallery, TC. Featuring over 20 artists, all which will have small objects of art displayed on the tree. Other small functional items will be available as well. Runs every day during regular open gallery hours from Nov. 17 - Jan. 1. higherartgallery.com

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HOLIDAY GIFT MARKET: Nov. 14 - Dec. 19, Jordan River Arts Center, East Jordan.

Check out many handmade items created by local artisans. jordanriverarts.com

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CHARLEVOIX CIRCLE MARKET: Charlevoix Circle of Arts, Nov. 19 - Dec. 30.

Featuring local handmade items, original art, & locally produced specialty treats. Closed on Sundays. charlevoixcircle.org

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BIRDS FLY IN: A HUMAN REFUGE: Runs through Jan. 2 at Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. A cross-cultural art collaboration focusing on themes related to Migration & Intuition. Artist Ellie Harold was surprised by birds who “flew” onto her canvas after the 2016 U.S. Presidential election. As intuitive messengers, they brought not only an entirely new way of painting, but comfort during confusing times. Later, as migration issues came to the fore, she felt birds were a metaphor for the universal human desire to move toward greater freedom & love. Following her intuition, Ellie met Mexican composer David Mendoza, creator of the soundtrack music, & German architect Wilfried Schley who designed the Refuge Space. dennosmuseum.org

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CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, PETOSKEY: - KINDRED: TRADITIONAL ARTS OF THE LITTLE TRAVERSE BAY BANDS OF ODAWA INDIANS: Held in Gilbert & Bonfield galleries. Historic & contemporary examples of Odawa arts & crafts will be on display, including quill boxes, beadwork, regalia, basketry, & ceramics. Through these finely crafted objects, thematic threads are woven together to explore the economic drivers, environmental factors, & challenges inherent in sustaining tradition, creative practice, & identity. Runs through Nov. 27.

There will be a free educational program connected with the exhibition every Thurs. at 10am. crookedtree.org/event/ctac-petoskey/ kindred-traditional-arts-little-traverse-baybands-odawa-indians - THROUGH OUR EYES: CROOKED TREE PAINTERS’ STUDIO EXHIBITION: The Crooked Tree Painters’ Studio meets weekly at CTAC in Atrium Gallery to share their love of painting. This year’s exhibition features original paintings by 18 artists. Runs through Dec. 18. crookedtree.org/event/ ctac-petoskey/through-our-eyes-crookedtree-painters-studio-exhibition

GLEN ARBOR ARTS CENTER, GLEN ARBOR: - PAPER CONSTRUCTIONS: DENISE SAMUELS: Held in the Lobby Gallery. Samuels exhibits sculptural, geometric constructions with recycled papers – cereal boxes, common cardboard & other heavier fibers she sometimes paints & alters – & stitches each hand-cut piece together with wire.

Runs through Dec. 17. glenarborart.org/ events/exhibit-denise-samuels - SMALL WORKS HOLIDAY EXHIBITION: Annual showcase of 2D + 3D work that offers small, original art at affordable prices, $150 or less. Runs through Dec. 16, & features the work of 19 artists working in mixed media, collage, paper, painting, glass, wood, pastel, clay, charcoal, watercolor, & digital imagery. A Holiday Open House, with music & refreshments, takes place Dec. 9, 5-7 pm at the GAAC. Exhibition visitors can also enjoy the GAAC’s holiday forest, a group of decorated trees that line the driveway & GAAC front yard. glenarborart.org/ events/2021-small-works-holiday-exhibition

FROM Tues OPEN-6PM - 4-8pm: The Pocket

Hours MondayKung 2pm-9pm 9pm-1am: Fu Rodeo Tues-Thurs 2pm-2am • Fri-Sun noon-2am

the can night - $1 domestic, WedMonday - Get it inNov 22nd - Jukebox $3 craft- w/DJ JR

Tues NovThurs 23rd--$2 OpenoffMic from 8-9:30 all Comedy drinks and then 10pm-2am Electric Open $2 Labatt drafts w/DJ RickyMic T Wed Nov 24th- Speedball Tucker

Fri March 20 - Buckets $8 (2-8pm) $2 domestic drafts & of $3 Beer craft starting drafts fromat9pm-close.

Happy Hour: The Chris Michels Band Then: The Isaac Ryder Band

Thurs Nov 25th - Closed for Thanksgiving

Sat March Fri 21 &- The Ryder Band (No Covers) SatIsaac Nov 26th & 27th Sunday&March 22 DIRTIES SOUL KARAOKE PATCH ROLLING ( 10pm-2am)

Sun Nov 28th - Karaoke

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bahles.net Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 39

TTERS GET A JOB RS

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GOOD MEALS COOKS We seek human serviceWe workers to staff the seek human service workers to staf GOOD MEALS COOKS GOOD MEALS AIDES COOKS AND KITCHEN Goodwill Inn emergencyGoodwill homelessInn shelter.

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AIDES– $13/HR cause. We want YOU to join our team! people with disablities or who are disad Officer to oversee our major gifts COOKS– $14/HR + $2/HR INCENTIVE ing, AIDES– $13/HR + $2/HR INCENTIVE We writing, seek help in our Good Meals kitchen making GIFTS OFFICER AIDES– $13/HR + $2/HR INCENTIVE ing researching, scheduling, GOOD MEALS COOKS We seek help in our kitchen $50-$60,000/YR making food for neighbors in Good need.Meals Our commercial kitchenGIFTS OFFICER GOOD MEALS COOKS AND KITCHEN AIDES $50-$60,000/YR major gift andINN grant requests. food for neighbors in need.

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On the eastern shore of Big Glen sits the charming enclave of Harbor Island. A community of fine homes nestled between Brooks lake to the east and one of the finest lakes in all the land--Big Glen--to the west. Built, curated, loved, and meticulously maintained by the same family for over 35 years, there is no disputing that this is a legacy/generational property. With 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms (2 en suite), and 2 large living areas the home is spacious, airy, beautifully appointed and clean! The expansive trex deck, brick paver patio below, and lush green lawn are all ideal places to enjoy the lake and wile away World Class Leelanau days. As an added bonus: everything is to be included in the sale, making this a truly, ready-made, premium lake house! Boat, hoist, trailer, dock, paddle boards, swim raft, all furnishings--inside and out, come with the house. This is a rare opportunity to “live the dream” on Big Glen Lake--don’t miss it! 7498 S. Birchway Dr. MLS# 1893665 $2,950,000

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Saturday, November 27th, 6 pm Floats, Petoskey High School Marching Band, Steel Drum Band, and Santa!

Saturday, November 27th, 6 pm Floats, Petoskey High School Marching Band, Steel Drum Band, and Santa!

New this year...

New this year... Gingerbread Lane 5-6 pm Gingerbread Lane 5-6 pm petoskeydowntown.com/events

petoskeydowntown.com/events

Coordinated Coordinatedby by PN-27320882

231-642-1453

Friendly family events in Pennsylvania Park. Music by the Northern Michigan Chorale, hot cocoa, family photo backdrop, cookie decorating, mailbox for Santa letters, Toys for Tots drop-off.

Sunrise Club of Petoskey

Northern Express by Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 41 Coordinated 20882

blacklaceandpaperflowers.com

Friendly family events in Pennsylvania Park. Music by the Northern Michigan Chorale, hot cocoa, family photo backdrop, cookie decorating, mailbox for Santa letters, Toys for Tots drop-off.

nitelife

nov 20 - nov 28 edited by jamie kauffold

Send Nitelife to: events@traverseticker.com

Grand Traverse & Kalkaska

BAHIA, TC 10: 11/20 -- Tall Grass 11/27 – DJ Ras Marco Vinyl Set

STUDIO ANATOMY, TC 11/20 -- Comedy Night w/ Jake Ford, Trevor Tress & Johnny Mocny, 8

Weds. -- Live Jazz, 6-8:30 11/26 -- The Marsupials, 7 11/27 -- Jack Pine, 7

FANTASY’S, TC DJ

TC COMEDY CLUB, TC 11/26 -- Comedy with Bill Bushart, 7:30 11/27 -- Comedy with Bill Bushart, 7

THIRSTY FISH SPORTS GRILLE, TC PATIO, 6:30-9:30: 11/20 -- TC Guitar Guys 11/26 -- The 4 Horsemen 11/27 -- TC Knuckleheads

FRESH COAST BEER WORKS, TC 11/24 -- 1000 Watt Prophets, 7-10 LIL BO, TC Thurs. – Jazz w/ Larz Cabot, 6-9 Fri. – Live music Sun. -- Karaoke - Shooting Star Entertainment, 8 MAMMOTH DISTILLING, TC 7:30-10:30: 11/20 -- Chris Smith 11/24 -- Eric Clemons

THE PARLOR, TC 7-10: 11/20 -- David Martin 11/24 -- Wink Solo 11/25 -- Jimmy Olson 11/26 -- Jim Hawley 11/27 -- Jazz Cabbage THE WORKSHOP BREWING CO., TC 11/20 -- The Real Ingredients, 7 11/22 -- Open Mic, 7 Tues. -- TC Celtic, 6:30-9

UNION STREET STATION, TC 11/19-20 -- Scarkazm, 10 11/21 & 11/28 -- Karaoke, 10 11/22 -- Jukebox, 10 11/23 -- Open Mic Comedy, 8-9:30; Electric Open Mic, 10-2 11/24 -- Speedball Tucker, 10 11/26-27 -- Soul Patch & Rolling Dirties, 10

Meg Gunia brings her Indie-alternative tunes to Stormcloud Brewing Company in Frankfort on Sat., Nov. 27 from 7-9pm. Her covers range from Stevie Nicks to Harry Styles.

Leelanau & Benzie

DICK’S POUR November 15 - December 19, 2021 Antrim & Charlevoix LEELANAU

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ETHANOLOGY, ELK RAPIDS 11/20 -- Blair Miller, 8 HELLO VINO, BELLAIRE 11/23 -- Doc Woodward, 7-9 SHORT’S BREW PUB, BELLAIRE 8:30-11:30: 11/20 -- Flylite Gemini 11/27 -- Brewski Bash w/ The Smokin’ Dobroleles

TORCH LAKE CAFÉ, EASTPORT (US 31/M-88) 11/21 -- Bluz-A-Palooza with Craig & Jamie, noon-4 Weds. -- Karaoke, 8:30 Thurs. – Nick Vasquez, 7 Fri. & Sat. – Leanna Collins & Ivan Greilick, 8 11/28 – Slim Pickins, noon-4

November 15 - De

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Emmet & Cheboygan November 15 - December 19, 2021 BEARDS BREWERY, PETOSKEY 6-9: 11/21 -- Charlie Millard 11/28 – Celtic & Traditional Irish Sessions

CITY PARK GRILL, PETOSKEY 11/24 – Nighty Night 90’s Themed Pajama Party w/ DJs Franck & Dayv wsg ClarkAfterDark, 9 11/26 – Annex Karaoke, 10

ODAWA CASINO, PETOSKEY MUKWA BAR & GRILL, 9: 11/20 -- Pete Kehoe 11/27 -- Pete Fetters OVATIONFor HALL:every $100 worth o 11/27 -- Christmas with The Association, 8 Gift Certificates pu BOYNE VALLEY VINEYARDS, 15 December 19, 2021 VICTORIES, 9: MAMMOTH DISTILLING, BAY PETOSKEY additional $20 Gift Cer 11/20 -- Piano Wars HARBOR 2-6: For every $100 worth of Magnum Hospitality 11/26 -- Pete Kehoe & Michelle 11/20 -- Tyler Parkin 7-10: January 1st, 2022 thro Chenard 11/20 -- Bill Oeming 11/27 -- Michelle Chenard Gift Certificates purchased, receive an 11/27 -- Scarkazm 11/26 -- Sean Bielby Shop at Red Mesa Gr 11/27 $20 -- Jessica Dominic additional Gift Certificate to be redeemed

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Otsego, Crawford & Central ALPINE TAVERN & EATERY, GAYLORD 11/27 -- Nelson Olstrom, 6

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CONVENTION CENTER: Gift Certificates 11/27purchased, -- Comedy Night withreceive an Dwayne Gill & Opener, Nate 8-10 BIG BUCK BREWERY, GAYLORD additional $20 GiftArmbruster, Certificate to be redeemed 6-9: 11/26 -- Nelson Olstrom 11/27 -- Pete Kehoe

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Gift purchased, receive an 42 • november 22,Certificates 2021 • Northern Express Weekly For every $100$20 worth MagnumtoHospitality additional GiftofCertificate be redeemed

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Cherry Capital Airport tvcairport.com Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 43

OUR CC CAP COLLECTION HAS ARRIVED!

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44 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

THE FRENCH DISPATCH

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Cinephiles can celebrate as Texan-turnedFrench ex-pat Wes Anderson makes his return to the big screen. And the twee auteur’s latest has all the hallmarks of Wes Anderson film we’ve come to know and love: the menagerie of famous actors, absurdist delights, playful spirit, picture-perfect storybook visuals, and an air of melancholy.

Marxist student-revolutionary type who finds an unexpected manifesto-writing (and romantic?) partner in Frances McDormand.

Gaylord — AlpineTavernAndEatery.com — CraveGaylord.com

The Private Dining Room of the Police Commissioner offers a convoluted story of a food writer’s dinner that somehow ends with a kidnapping and a high-stakes car chase.

East Jordan

But The French Dispatch is also conspicuously lacking — in emotion, in feeling, in connection.

While a true marvel to gaze at, there just isn’t much else there. The result is a film that prioritizes style over substance to such a degree that it becomes almost incoherent.

The best part of the latter vignette is the manner in which the “author” tells the tale — this time presented by a James Baldwininspired Jeffrey Wright on a Dick Cavettstyle TV show — but not the actual tale itself.

Wright’s performance is one of the film’s few standouts.

A tribute to journalism constructed around three distinct vignettes, The French Dispatch is nostalgic for a type of journalism that doesn’t exist anymore, if it ever really did. It’s built for a niche audience — Anderson being the foremost member — of those who not only read The New Yorker but also can name at least three of the publication’s editors.

And an editor is at the “center” of the “story” here. The French Dispatch is a supplement to a Kansas City newspaper run by media heir and longtime editor-in-chief Arthur Howitzer Jr. (Bill Murray). Based in the very fictional city of Ennui-sur-Blasé (which translates to Boredom-on-Jaded), the beloved Howitzer has died, and the staff is tasked with putting together a memorial issue. What follows is an anthology of unrelated short films that bring to life the actual stories to be featured in the magazine, interspersed with (far- too-brief) scenes as they happened in the paper’s offices.

Split into three distinct acts, the film’s first story, The Concrete Masterpiece, is arguably the best. It is an artist profile of a mentally ill imprisoned murderer (Benicio del Toro) and how he became an art world sensation after being discovered by an art dealer (Adrien Brody), also doing time in the can.

And relaying it all is one of the film’s most enjoyable details, a splendidly coiffed and stylishly dressed Tilda Swinton as a lecturer speaking to an audience back in Kansas City.

Unfortunately, the ever-present use of framing that places a story within a story, within a narrator, within another story, further distances the viewer from anything happening on screen and is emblematic of the film’s shortcomings.

The next two shorts are even more difficult to follow, namely because they fail to generate any interest: Revisions to a Manifesto gives us Timothée Chalamet as Zeffirelli, a narcissistic

The real star of the film, however, is undoubtedly the production designer and frequent Anderson collaborator, Adam Stockhausen. The dollhouse construction of each set and shot are all individual works of art. The film is overflowing with so many visual jokes and details, it practically demands a second viewing to even begin to appreciate all the artistry. It’s just too bad the story’s construction is so weak that you will have no desire to revisit it.

Playful to a fault, the spirit of Jacques Tati (not to mention Jacques Demy) runs amok, and the film employs too many visual techniques without any real rhyme or reason. Sometimes the film is in black and white, sometimes it’s in color. There’s narration, captions, stopmotion, handheld camerawork, and then … it inexplicably becomes animated.

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Anderson wants us to oooh and ahh at just how clever and whimsical it all is, but as much as you might respect what he has accomplished, the enchantment only lasts so long. By all accounts, The French Dispatch is on the shorter side for a major feature film, clocking in at only 107 minutes. Yet, I would be ashamed to tell you how many times I checked my watch to see how much time was left. That’s how tiresome it was.

But Wes Anderson is gonna Wes. It’s as though the audience doesn’t remotely factor into his thinking in making this film. He has made it for his audience of one, and in that, he has definitely succeeded in making something that embodies his personal fixations and his interests.

Less of a work of art and more of a meaningless curiosity destined to collect dust on a shelf, it cements Anderson as a Rube Goldberg of filmmaking: There’s a lot of fuss, but very little payoff.

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Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 45

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: I thought I was happily married.

Recently, I found a cherry Chapstick in my husband’s coat pocket -- a kind he’d never buy. He claimed he randomly grabbed it at the drugstore checkout. Last week, he said he’d be visiting his mother at the nursing home, but I later learned he never showed.

I asked him about it, and he said work ran over. Additionally, our sex life has picked up, and he’s been extra thoughtful lately. Doesn’t all of this, put together, scream that he’s cheating? How do I confront him?

— Nightmares

A

: You don’t expect marrying the man of your dreams to turn your actual dream content into all-night notifications of impending disaster: dozens of inch-high coal miners in tiny hardhats and goggles scaling you and repeatedly jabbing you with cupcake toothpicks topped with little red flags.

Are you right to pile these infobits into the verdict your husband’s cheating? Maybe — but maybe not. Evolutionary psychologist Martie Haselton explains that we evolved to be protectively wrong: to err on the safe side, meaning make the least evolutionarily costly error. Suspecting cheating where none actually exists is less genetically costly than shrugging off signs that seem to point to it — and then possibly losing your man and/or having him funnel his resources away from your kids to those he’d make with some hussypants he’s seeing on the side.

Confronting your husband — accusing him of cheating — is a risky tactic. If he is cheating, he’s likely to deny it. If he isn’t, your accusation could destroy your relationship.

A possibly less risky tactic is evoking his empathy: telling him that, collectively, these infobits triggered fears of losing him. The subject becomes your seeking reassurance (which, P.S., may or may not be truthbacked). If he has been straying, he might be inspired to reevaluate and stop. Might.

Over the next few months, observe your husband’s behavior — including that which suggests he loves you and is faithful. Your observations are likely to be inconclusive (compared with finding him in bed with somebody), but if you amass enough information over time, it should begin to point you to some sort of understanding.

I personally make peace with the freakouts of life that way; for example, a new mole that (apologies to Judy Blume) seemed to scream: “Are You There, Alkon? It’s Me, Malignant Melanoma.” One dermatologist visit later: “Hello, drama queen. I’d like to introduce you to your spider bite.”

BY Amy Alkon

Junk Male

Q

: Do men even read online dating profiles?

Mine says I’m a “sober divorced writer.”

Inevitably, guys message me: “What do you do? Ever been married? Wanna go for a drink?” Um, hello? I’m flattered I apparently get picked on looks alone, but even men who aren’t into hookups do this.

--Mystified

A

: There’s a case to be made for a guy being a rushed or generally careless reader and sliding right past “sober divorced writer.”

However, men are likely to blow past an even more standout description, such as: “I enjoy fine dining, walks on the beach, and dismembering my date and feeding bits of him to the squirrels.”

Though men seem more likely to hit on hot women on their pictures alone, they probably do this even when women are, shall we say, lukewarm or even room temperature. Because birth control used to be “Cross your legs, honey!” women evolved to be “the choosier sex,” wary about getting it on with a man until they vet him for his willingness and ability to “provide” for any resulting kids. Because men don’t get pregnant, it’s evolutionarily optimal for them — best for passing on Ye Old Genes — to have vastly lower standards. (Vastly. Like: “So...she has a pulse?”)

This sex difference makes a strong showing on dating apps. Computational social scientist Taha Yasseri, with three students, analyzed piles of data from online dating studies. “Men are much less selective in who they communicate with,” they report.

In fact, it’s “optimal for men to use the ‘shotgun method’”: blasting out “likes” like buckshot from some backwoods Cletus’ hunting rifle. The strategy is not finding a really great match (true love with a woman much like them — or a man if they’re gay) but messaging “a large number of people, irrespective of their potentially low fit” and hoping some of them bite.

Basically, many men on dating apps are like 2-year-olds. They only look at the pictures.

Take it super slowly with any guy you meet via app, meaning keep him on secret probation until you see ample evidence you might be well-matched (and that “Conor” is not long for “Con”). If you’re awakened one lazy Saturday morning by the man in your bed, the part of your body he’s most interested in should not be your thumb — which he got a little clumsy with while trying to unlock your banking app.

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 47

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ACROSS 1 Regular doofus 6 Spits some bars 10 Noun’s modifier (abbr.)

13 “The Crown” crown 14 ___ Parker (fashion brand) 15 1998 figure skating gold medalist Kulik 16 Deodorant brand 17 Contestant who may show up seemingly out of nowhere 19 Facts and figures about a flat paddleboat?

21 Noteworthy span 22 Mississauga’s prov.

23 “The Orville” creator MacFarlane 24 Prognosticator 26 “The Matrix Resurrections” star 30 French Polynesia’s capital 33 1950s French president Rene 34 Long stories about a “M*A*S*H” character’s featured instrumental breaks?

38 Quickly 39 Sanctifies, in a way 40 Big name in violins and jet skis 43 “Strange” prefix 44 Physiques 46 “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings” star Simu 47 Suffix after potent or caliph 50 Prescribe city-wide anxiety medication?

55 Dinosaur with large thumb spikes 56 Sidewinder, e.g.

57 Attendee 58 Davidson of “SNL” 59 Word before workings 60 ‘21 World Series champs 61 River in World War I headlines 62 Megan Thee Stallion song about which Weird Al tweeted: “Just listened to this. Not a very faithful cover version, if you ask me.”

DOWN 1 Lacking new ideas 2 Job offerer 3 Early earwig?

4 Brendon of Panic! at the Disco 5 One who doesn’t take defeat well 6 Identify with 7 Page-___ (calendar brand) 8 Falafel holders 9 Quest participant 10 Ski resort near Salt Lake City 11 Gossip 12 Toronto team, casually 15 Completed, in Hollywood parlance 18 90 degrees from norte 20 Genuflection joints 25 “Don’t sweat it!”

27 “Mad TV” cast member Paul (the only openly gay cast member at the time) 28 Train station figs.

29 Admin’s domain, for short 30 “Que ___?” (Spanish greeting) 31 Savage of “MythBusters” 32 His items were too big, hard, and hot 34 Jamie Foxx’s Oscar film 35 Specialty of Emo Philips or Milton Jones 36 16-bit hedgehog 37 Her backing group is The Banshees 41 Triceratops feature 42 It’s written for commercials 45 Polygon’s count 47 “Oh what the hell, I’ll just crush him like ___” (Mr. Burns quote) 48 “Oh Myyy!” memoirist George 49 Apply 50 Latvia’s capital 51 Awards distinction for Audrey Hepburn 52 Tank filler 53 Show of hands 54 Paquin of “The Piano”

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Poet Renée Ashley describes what she’s attracted to: “I’m drawn to what flutters nebulously at the edges, at the corner of my eye—just outside my certain sight. I want to share in what I am routinely denied or only suspect exists. I long for a glimpse of what is beginning to occur.”

Although I don’t think that’s a suitable perspective for you to cultivate all the time, Sagittarius, I suspect it might be appealing and useful for you in the coming weeks. Fresh possibilities will be coalescing. New storylines will be incubating. Be alert for the oncoming delights of the unknown.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): There’s a Grateful

Dead song, with lyrics written by John Perry Barlow, that says, “You ain’t gonna learn what you don’t want to know.” I propose you make that your featured advice for the next two weeks.

I hope you will be inspired by it to figure out what truths you might be trying hard not to know. In so doing, you will make yourself available to learn those truths. As a result, you’ll be led on a healing journey you didn’t know you needed to take.

The process might sound uncomfortable, but I suspect it will ultimately be pleasurable.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio author and philosopher Albert Camus was a good thinker. At age 44, he won the Nobel Prize for Literature—the second-youngest recipient ever. And yet he made this curious statement: “Thoughts are never honest. Emotions are.” He regarded thoughts as “refined and muddy”—the result of people continually tinkering with their inner dialog so as to come up with partially true statements designed to serve their self-image rather than reflect authentic ideas. Emotions, on the other hand, emerge spontaneously and are hard to hide, according to Camus. They come straight from the depths. In accordance with astrological potentials, Scorpio, I urge you to keep these meditations at the forefront of your awareness in the coming weeks. See if you can be more skeptical about your thoughts and more trusting in your emotions.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): What

could you do to diminish your suffering? Your next assignment is to take two specific steps to begin that process. You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when you’re more likely than usual to see what’s necessary to salve your wounds and fix what’s broken. Take maximum advantage of this opportunity! I proclaim this next chapter of your life to be titled “In Quest of the Maximum Cure.” Have fun with this project, dear Capricorn. Treat it as a mandate to be imaginative and explore interesting possibilities.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “It is a fault

to wish to be understood before we have made ourselves clear to ourselves,” wrote my favorite Aquarian philosopher, Simone Weil. I agree.

It’s advice I regularly use myself. If you want to be seen and appreciated for who you really are, you should make it your priority to see and appreciate yourself for who you really are. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to make progress in this noble project. Start this way: Write a list of the five qualities about yourself that you love best.

PISCES (Feb 19-March 20): Nigerian author

Ben Okri, born under the sign of Pisces, praises our heroic instinct to rise above the forces of chaos. He writes, “The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering.” You’ve been doing a lot of that excellent work throughout 2021, dear Pisces. And I expect that you’ll be climaxing this chapter of your life story sometime soon.

Thanks for being such a resourceful and resilient champion.

You have bravely faced but also risen above the sometimesmessy challenges of plain old everyday life. You have inspired many of us to stay devoted to our heart’s desires.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries author Chris

Brogan says, “Don’t settle. Don’t finish crappy books. If you don’t like the menu, leave the restaurant. If you’re not on the right path, get off it.” That’s the best possible counsel for you

to hear, in my astrological opinion. As an Aries, you’re already inclined to live by that philosophy. But now and then, like now, you need a forceful nudge in that direction. So please, Aries, go in pursuit of what you want, not what you partially want.

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Author Kurt

Vonnegut wrote wistfully, “I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don’t matter anymore.” If similar things are running wild in your head, dear Taurus, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to banish them. You will have extra power to purge outdated emotions and reclaim at least some of the wild innocence that is your birthright. PS: There’s nothing wrong with feeling sad. In fact, feeling sad can be healthy. But it’s important to feel sad for the right reasons. Getting clear about that is your second assignment.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I’ll walk forever

with stories inside me that the people I love the most can never hear.” So says the main character in Gemini author Michelle Hodkin’s novel The Evolution of Mara Dyer. If that heartrending statement has resonance with your own personal experience, I have good news: The coming weeks will be a favorable time to transform the situation. I believe you can figure out how to share key stories and feelings that have been hard to reveal before now. Be alert for unexpected opportunities and not-at-all-obvious breakthroughs.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): A study of people in 24 countries concluded that during the pandemic, over 80 percent of the population have taken action to improve their health. Are you in that group? Whether or not you are, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to go further in establishing robust self-care. The astrological omens suggest you’ll find it easier than usual to commit to good new habits.

Rather than trying to do too much, I suggest you take no more than three steps. Even starting with just one might be wise. Top three: eating excellent food, having fun while exercising right, and getting all the deep sleep you need.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo-born scholar Edith

Hamilton loved to study ancient Greek civilization.

She wrote, “To rejoice in life, to find the world beautiful and delightful to live in, was a mark of the Greek spirit which distinguished it from all that had gone before.” One sign of Greece’s devotion to joie de vivre was its love of play. “The Greeks were the first people in the world to play,” Hamilton exulted, “and they played on a great scale. All over Greece, there were games”—for athletes, dancers, musicians, and other performers. Spirited competition was an essential element of their celebration of play, as was the pursuit of fun for its own sake. In resonance with your astrological omens, Leo, I propose you regard ancient Greece as your spiritual home for the next five weeks.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo singer-

songwriter Florence Welch of the band Florence and the Machine told an interviewer why she wrote “Hunger.” She said, “I looked for love in things that were not love.” What were those things? According to her song, they included taking drugs and performing on stage. Earlier in Florence’s life, as a teenager, “love was a kind of emptiness” she experienced through her eating disorder. What about you, Virgo? Have you looked for love in things that weren’t love? Are you doing that right now?

The coming weeks will be a good time to get straight with yourself about this issue. I suggest you ask for help from your higher self. Formulate a strong intention that in the future, you will look for love in things that can genuinely offer you love.

Northern Express Weekly • november 22, 2021 • 49

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52 • november 22, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly