Faribault • Nor thfield • Owatonna • St. Peter • Waseca
where local women turn MARCH/ APRIL 2009
Heart Healthy Lifestyle changes can help combat heart disease.
Faribault gem Death gives Waseca girlfriends a healthy appreciation for life. New feature!
The Nook & Cranny offers special gifts in a unique setting.
Girlfriends Magazine • P.O. Box 537 • Northfield, MN 55057
Chatfest Six local moms discuss the scary topic of teens dating. Girlfriends cover (March-April).1 1
3/11/09 10:59:53 AM
RVing is still one of the most affordable ways to get away! Stop by our showroom today, and you could be on the road tomorrow! Noble RV sells and services many brands of new and used RVs. Come take a look, or check us out online at
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– Anniversary Sale Weekend April 3 & 4 – Enjoy special financing and sale prices on all RVs in our inventory! We also have prize giveaways, food, and balloons for the kids! Bring the family and celebrate with us!
Girlfriends page 2 (March-April)1 1
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In Her Words
Busy mama seeking balance in her life F
amilies today are busier than ever, and moms often bear the brunt of the multi-tasking. What busy mom doesn’t struggle to find time for herself amidst the demands of parenting, work (whether within the home or outside of it), household management and myriad social obligations? The challenge of balancing self-care with other-care seems practically universal among mothers, but I think it’s worse for moms of children under age 5. Before kids go off to school, their all-day needs are especially relentless, and in those early-parenting years of a young family, there’s barely time for a harried mom to get a daily shower, let alone an hour to herself. You hear me, right? This is why I was particularly proud of myself several months ago when I finally redeemed a long-saved gift certificate for a massage — a birthday present from a dear friend who knows me and my jam-packed, non-
Shannon Tassava
stop mothering lifestyle well. A massage! An hour of complete and utter pampering! For an overtired, overworked mom of two small children! Can you imagine my excitement? Only I spent the entire session not visualizing serene images of seascapes or summer sunsets as the massage therapist’s hands smoothed my neglected muscles, but instead ruminating on myriad mothering minutiae: my 4-year-old’s preschool-gymnastics class registration — due within days — and my toddler’s latest virus, her feverish rosy cheeks and bleating cry. Don’t get me wrong, it was still a blissful treat to snatch an hour to myself for such a rare and luxurious indulgence.
It’s just that the bliss was, of course, peppered with a fair amount of mama-hood preoccupation. Isn’t that always the way? Isn’t it kind of like those rare times you get together with your fellow-mom friends alone, without the children, and you spend the entire time talking about your kids? This “balance” thing, this struggle to carve out time and mental space to be not just a mother but also an adult with one’s own interests and passions, with occasional nonchild-centered priorities and social engagements, is not easy. Moms today are so overextended with the relentless demands of home, work and family that it can be hard to flip the switch on the constant hum of caretaking concerns and tune in to our own inner needs. But we all need time alone to fill up our internal cups, to fend off physical and emotional depletion. We need hours away from our children, our households, to clear our minds of
baby talk and grocery lists. Maybe for you it’s not a massage; maybe it’s a run, or a cup of tea in a favorite café, or a book club meeting. Whatever it is, it lends balance to what can often feel like a precarious life. It’s true that sometimes you end up worrying about the sick baby during the birthday massage. You try to throw a little balance into your busy life, a little personal time to temper all those moments you give away on a daily basis to the tiny children who need you so much, and that little slice of “balance” ends up feeling more elusive than you imagined it would. But I’m thinking that maybe it gets easier with practice. So I’m planning on booking another massage before too long. What about you? G — Shannon Tassava is a writer, clinical psychologist, and at-home mom to two small daughters, ages 2 and 4. She lives in Northfield with her family.
Need a home for all your boxes? I am here to help! Whether you are buying or selling, give me a call today!
Diana Ignacio Office: 507-645-4491 Cell: 352-598-1950
dianaignacio@edinarealty.com Girlfriends.mn
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24 Girlfriends MARCH/APRIL 2009 Features 8
22 DOUBLE DUTY Diana Ignacio has worn many hats since moving to Northfield. She wouldn’t have it any other way.
HEART HEALTHY LIVING Ruth Crane knew all of the warning signs after watching her father succumb to heart disease. Now she is living a heart healthy life.
28 FEMME VERSATILE After going through a Mid-Life Resurrection, Waseca’s Mary Lou Kalbow has found her passion.
16 GIFT OF COOPERATION With 80 crafters and artisans contributing quality gifts for the home and spirit, The Nook & Cranny is a Faribault gem.
29 FROM THE HEART Terry Schneider brought her family closer together when she adopted her grandsons.
24 OFFERING IT UP What happens when six women get together to talk about their children dating? Find out in the first installment of “Chatfest.”
Accessories
Women We Know 7 YOU GO GIRL Once Faribault’s Elizabeth Wright experienced the joy of kayaking, she was hooked. 12 ECO-CONSCIOUS CHICK Elysian salon owner Jane Conroy made the switch to organic hair products and has never felt better.
3 6 13 14 20 23 30
In Her Words Covergirls We Time That Girl For the Love of Wine Snap! Daddy’s Girl
Look for your next issue of Girlfriends the week of May 11
Cover Photo
About Us
(From left) Linda Grant, Jane Dunn and Jane Coleman not only are the owners of Healing Hands Wellness Group in Waseca, they are part of a group of eight friends. See page 6.
Volume 1, Issue 3 Copyright © Girlfriends 2009 Published March/April 2009 by: I-35 Target Media, P.O. Box 537, Northfield, MN 55057 / 507-645-1136 Send releases and story ideas to: Jerry Smith at Girlfriends Magazine, jsmith@I35targetmedia.com
(Photo by Thom Caya)
Girlfriends.mn
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Publisher: Julie Frazier Associate Editor: Jerry Smith Account Executive: Machelle Kendrick Graphic Designer: Catherine Roberts Contributing writers: Amy Acheson, Paula Granquist, Erika Greiner, Stephen DeLong and Shannon Tassava.
March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:04:59 AM
Contributing Writers
Amy Acheson
Paula Granquist
Amy Acheson is a freelance writer and designer who lives in Northfield with her husband and children.
Stephen DeLong
Paula Granquist is a freelance writer who lives in Northfield with her husband and twin toddlers.
The Life & Eco-Directory
Erika Greiner is a freelance writer from Bloomington, Minn., who is pursuing a degree at St. Olaf College.
Erika Greiner
Jerry Smith is Associate Editor for Girlfriends magazine. He lives in Northfield with his wife, Jaci, and two sons.
Jerry Smith
Stephen DeLong is from Northfield. He writes “For the Love of Wine” for Girlfriends magazine.
Shannon Tassava is a freelance writer who lives in Northfield with her husband and two small children.
Shannon Tassava
If you would like to write for Girlfriends, contact Jerry Smith at 507-645-1136 or by email at jsmith@I35targetmedia.com
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March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:06:04 AM
Cover Girls
‘Merry Maidens’ are separately and collectively girlfriends
(From left) Owatonna Rotarians The group traveled to Napa Stephanie Olson, Lonna Lysne,Valley and had “an absolutely wonderful time together,” Grant Marlene Levine, said. Susan Petterson, “We couldn’t get all eight out Barbara Jacobthere, but we had a blast,” said son and Betsy Grant, who noted that wine and Lindgren use the laughter is a central theme with Rotary Club the as agroup. “Three of the group springboard had to never been to Napa Valley other before, so that made the trip even
J
ane Coleman knows the importance of continually learning. As a nursing instructor at Gustavus Adolphus College for 15 years, she not only taught her students the technical aspects of nursing, she also stressed the importance of learning from any given situation. Coleman practices what she once preached. The former nursing instructor and hospice connector has formed a lasting friendship with a group of seven other women who also have ties to hospice and nursing. She is constantly amazed at how much she learns from this group of “wonderful” women anytime they get together. “They challenge me to think outside the box,” Coleman said. “I always feel like I learn something. There is something very special about this group.” Linda Grant feels the same way about the group of friends referred to as the “Merry Maidens” because they are all widowed, single or divorced. Grant started working for
Girlfriends photo
Girlfriends photo by Thom Caya
The “Merry Maidens” (from left) Irene Jeddeloh, Jane Coleman, Jeanne Welna, Barbara Gauger, Carol Wobschall, Jane Dunn and Linda Grant have been close friends since the late 1980s. Waseca County Hospice back in the late 1980s and through work knew each of the women. In the beginning, she was the nucleus of the group, which now has become a tight bond between best friends — Linda Grant, Jane Coleman, Jane Dunn, Mary Allen, Irene Jeddeloh, Carol Wobschall, Jeanne Welna, Barbara Gauger — who range in age from 42-82.
“We all met through the death business, but we have an appreciation for life,” Grant said. “We live in the now and do a lot of things together, from just conversing with each over a glass of wine to traveling together. We are all separately and collectively girlfriends.” One of the highlight trips for five members of the “Merry Maidens” took place last year.
more fun.” Jane Dunn, who is a partner with Coleman and Grant in Healing Hands Wellness Group in Waseca, is the youngest of the “Merry Maidens.” She says that benefits her in many ways, including having seven mentors to learn from. “To me, they are my teachers, my counsel,” Dunn said. “If you think about tribal times, one generation always learned from the past and it is no different in this case. “I think what is neat about this group is emotionally, mentally and spiritually there really is no age difference. We all care about each other and support each other.” G
Gloria Butler, Agent 215 2nd Ave NE Waseca, MN Call: 507-835-8301
www.gloriabutler.net Girlfriends.mn
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March/April 2009
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You Go Girl
When Elizabeth Wright and her husband bought a house on Cannon Lake in Faribault, it would only be a matter of time before they would be exploring the lake on their new kayaks. Girlfriends photo by Thom Caya
Kayak enthusiast has taken sport to next level By JERRY SMITH
L
ooking out over Cannon Lake from the picture window of her living room on a spring day in 1996, Elizabeth Wright’s mind started to wonder. Thoughts of the lake’s wildlife and vegetation came to mind, as did the urge to be out on the water. “I was thinking we’re on a lake and I wanted to see more of it, close up,” said Wright, who was inspired by what was going on all around her. “I kept asking myself what I could do to see this beautiful lake that didn’t use gas, and then it came to me.” The answer changed her life forever. It was then that Wright decided to take up kayaking. As her experience level grew, so did her passion for the sport. “Once you have the experience of being that close to the water, it’s really hard to settle for a fishing boat,” said the 58-year-old Faribault woman. “You can go places other boats can’t go and see things — like different wildlife — you can’t
see from larger boats.” Once she mastered her smaller blue “Otter” kayak, Wright thought it would be nice to enjoy the scenery and feeling of being close to nature with her husband, Marshall. The Wrights bought a tandem kayak, but that experiment lasted only a short time. From that experience, though, both found their true passion. “We realized we don’t communicate well enough to be in the same boat,” Elizabeth said. “We ditched that idea and both bought touring kayaks and that is where it’s at. You get speed and flow and can do a lot more. We were hooked.” Branching out Exploring Cannon Lake was just the tip of the iceberg for Wright. In some ways, kayaking took over and she wanted to keep reaching new heights in the sport. Wright has gone from recreational kayaker to instructor in a few short years and now leads Girlfriends.mn
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women’s trips to the Apostle Islands off the shores of Wisconsin and faraway places like the Sea of Cortez off of the Baja Peninsula. “This is a good sport for women and I enjoy taking them out on the open water,” said Wright, who also teaches Community Education classes on kayaking in Faribault. “Trips like those to the Sea of Cortez allow women to relate to each other in an environment that you don’t see each other as a competitor.” Getting to this point was a journey in and of itself. “There have definitely been tense moments, especially during training when you have to roll the boat, or make an exit under water,” she said. “But the joy I get from being out on the water with a paddle in my hands far outweighs the risks. “You can’t match the feeling of getting out on the water in a kayak. You’re one with nature. It’s like being a leaf on the waves.” G
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Getting started Class: “Kayakademics” What: An intro to kayaking Instructor: Elizabeth & Marshall Wright Where: Washington Recreation Center, Faribault When: 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., April 14 Fee: $15 Contact: Faribault Community Education/Park & Recreation, 507334-2064
Learn more about kayaking • www.paddling.net This is a general website for all things kayak: boats, gear, forums, instructional DVDs, trip reports, etc. • www.livingadventure.com Instructors/outfitters located in Bayfield, Wis. They lead day trips and overnights of families, co-ed, and women-only groups. • www.skoac.org Based in the Twin Cities, the Superior Kayak & Outdoor Adventure Club is a group of paddlers dedicated to fostering a supportive, educational environment for those interested in sea kayaking and other outdoor endeavors.
March/April 2008
3/11/09 11:12:42 AM
Heartfelt warning Northfield woman’s healthy lifestyle helps her battle heart disease By ERIKA GREINER
I
t was a beautiful afternoon in late September of 2005 when Ruth Crane experienced something that would change her life forever. Ruth and her husband Doug were vacationing in Seattle and decided to take a walk through a nearby park to enjoy the autumn colors. That walk was cut short when the active 65 year old from Northfield suddenly felt extremely lightheaded. This disturbing sensation was followed by a shortness of
breath, and perhaps worst of all, the gut-wrenching realization that these manifestations fit the classic symptoms of heart disease. “I felt so weak and helpless…I hoped it didn’t mean what I feared it meant—the symptoms,” said Crane. Heart disease was something all too familiar to Crane. Because her father suffered from the disease, Crane witnessed his first heart surgery in 1976, followed by another surgery in 1985. In 1996, Crane’s father had an angioplasty (technique of mechanically widening a narrowed or obstructed Girlfriends.mn
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blood vessel) when surgeons attempted to place a stint in his heart. Unfortunately, the heart muscle was diseased and not healthy enough to rebound from the procedure. The angioplasty was ultimately too traumatizing for his heart, causing Crane’s father to die of a heart attack in the hospital. Naturally, when Crane experienced the initial warning signs of heart disease, she recognized them instantly and felt a pang of panic. For Crane, these manifestations caused longtime fears of facing an experience similar to that of >>>
March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:16:21 AM
>>> her father to surface. “For a while it felt like I was doomed to experience the same things he did,” Crane said. Second warning Crane and her husband were scheduled to return home to Northfield the day after she experienced the shortness of breath, so rather than seeking immediate medical attention, Crane opted to wait until she was home before visiting a doctor. When the couple did finally return, they decided to go for a walk through the arboretum at Carleton College. When she began experiencing the same shortness of breath and light-headedness, Crane knew she needed to address the unrelenting warning signs.
given an EKG immediately. Just as she had suspected, the doctors informed her that the symptoms she had been experiencing were the result of heart disease.
Girlfriends photo by Jerry Smith
Ruth Crane keeps healthy by walking at the Carleton College Arboretum.
“We were walking through the Carleton arboretum and the same thing happened,” Crane said. “I said to my husband, ‘We need to go to the emergency room.’” When she arrived at the emergency room, Crane was
Different symptoms According to Dr. Elizabeth Grey, a partner at the Minneapolis Heart Institute, while heart disease is the leading cause of death among women in the United States, the symptoms often go unnoticed, frequently differing from the “classic symptoms” associated with heart disease in men. In fact, “43 percent of women have no chest discomfort at all,” said Grey, and “most women never describe a ‘pain,’ as we typically hear. If anything, it is more common for women to have discomfort >>>
We believe
Optimism is
Heart disease 101
H
eart disease is the leading cause of death for women 65 and older, it’s the third-leading cause of death for women 25 to 44 and the second-leading cause of death for women 45-64. Some of the most common signs and symptoms for heart disease in women include: • neck, shoulder, upper back or abdominal discomfort • shortness of breath • nausea or vomiting • sweating • light-headedness or dizziness • unusual fatigue Risk factors for heart disease in women: • high cholesterol • high blood pressure • metabolic syndrome • mental stress and depression • smoking • low levels of estrogen after menopause — Mayo Clinic
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March/April 2009
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Urgent Care Hours >>> in their backs rather than their chests.” Fortunate to recognize her symptoms, Crane’s trip to the emergency room was followed by more visits to heart specialists in the days and weeks to follow. A CT-Angiogram revealed coronary blockage, which led doctors to take more aggressive action to open her blocked artery. On Oct. 5, 2005, the doctors attempted to put in a stint, but the coronary blockage was too calcified for doctors to be able to break through it. Doctors tried addressing the blocked artery once more the following December by using an experimental catheter, but that didn’t work either. “It was a real disappointment that both of these times nothing happened,” Crane recalled. “The one positive thing was that my body was making its own openings for the blockage through collateral circulation; my body was making its own bypass so I didn’t need to have bypass surgery.” Luckily for Crane, doctors reassured her that they expected to be able to treat her for a very long time using medication; they did not anticipate needing to perform any surgical procedures if Crane’s health could be managed through a healthy diet, exercise, and medication. Three years after that trying time in her life, Crane expresses relief and contentment with her health. “I have to say that I have not had any recurrence of that shortness of breath or lightheadedness, so apparently my body’s new vascular system around the blockage is effective.”
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Heart-healthy lifestyle In addition to an effective vascular system, Crane’s good health can be accredited to her conscientious diet and exercise regimen. “I walk three miles three
Paula J. Detjen, PLLC Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
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105 E. Fourth St., Suite 301, Northfield paula.j.detjen@charter.net Girlfriends.mn
Girlfriends page 10 (March-April1 1
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times a week and then I do some other sort of exercise two other days a week,” she said. “Currently it’s yoga and then I go to a fitness center and lift weights. So I try to keep my cardiovascular system healthy, knowing that it’s going to help postpone the day I might have a heart attack or might have to have surgery.” In addition to Crane’s dedication to routine exercise, she practices following a healthy diet. “I don’t eat any fried foods and I stay away from organ meats because they’re just packed with fats,” Crane said wistfully. “I haven’t had pate in 25 years. I have eggs maybe once a week. My downfall is cheese. I love cheese, so I try to watch that. “I have a glass of wine every day. There are antioxidant properties in wine that are helpful in slowing down the formation of plaque.” Crane’s admirable diet and exercise regimen is not something she adapted upon learning of her heart disease. In fact, Crane has been conscious of her health for years, knowing that heart disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol run in her family. “My father had elevated cholesterol all his life, and I’m the oldest of eight children; all of us have elevated cholesterol as well,” Crane said. “My son is 43 and he is on cholesterollowering medication now, as is my daughter and she is 41.” That Crane’s lifelong healthy lifestyle was not enough to prevent heart disease speaks to one’s vulnerability to the disease. According to Dr. Grey, family history of heart disease can be a very powerful predictor. And while keeping a healthy diet and exercising frequently cannot guarantee freedom from heart disease, Dr. Grey stresses the significance of healthy living, especially in regard to exercise. >>>
March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:17:41 AM
Heart Healthy Living event draws big crowd By ERIKA GREINER
>>> “If you are obese but physically fit you will have a better cardiovascular outcome than someone who is skinny but doesn’t exercise,” she said. “If you can prevent it from happening in the first place, you’ll have a much better outcome.” Heeding the warnings Crane is living proof of the fact that heart disease can affect anyone, including those who have a healthy lifestyle. She also is living proof of the fact that as a woman, she should be aware of the warning signs and take action early. Crane is convinced that early action saved her from more severe consequences. “The shortness of breath and light-headedness were my heart’s way of saying, ‘I’m not getting enough oxygen,’ and I suspect I would have eventually had a heart attack had I not paid attention,” she said. Thanks to acknowledging these symptoms and practicing a healthy lifestyle, Crane is in a sound state both physically and emotionally. G
M
others, daughters, sisters, and friends filled the lobby of Northfield’s Allina Medical Clinic on Feb. 5 to learn more about signs, symptoms and ways to reduce chances of developing heart disease. Nearly 100 women attended the “Women’s Heart Healthy Living” event, with some arriving early to take advantage of the free blood pressure assessment and to join complimentary tours of the clinic’s diagnostic testing area. Dr. Elizabeth Grey, a cardiovascular disease physician and partner with the Minneapolis Heart Institute, was the guest speaker and talked about women’s susceptibility to heart disease, the severity of the disease as the leading cause of death for women in the United States, and
Girlfriends photo by Jerry Smith
Dr. Elizabeth Grey was the guest speaker at the “Women’s Heart Healthy Living” event held Feb. 5 at Allina Clinic in Northfield. actions women can take to minimize their risk of developing heart disease. “If you can prevent it from happening in the first place, you will have a much better outcome,” Grey said.
“Keep checking high blood pressure and high cholesterol. They can be part of the ‘silent killer’ and are easy to fix if caught ahead of time.” Dr. Grey also told those in attendance what signs and symptoms women should be aware of in order to recognize a possible heart attack. Dr. Grey’s presentation, “Coronary Disease and the Good Hearts of Women,” was part of a collaborative effort between the Minneapolis Heart Institute, Allina Medical Clinic and the Northfield Public Schools to raise awareness about women’s heart disease. The February event coincided with National Heart Month. Also participating in the “Heart Healthy” discussion was Dr. Gretchen Ehresmann from Allina Medical Clinic—Northfield. G
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March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:18:04 AM
Eco-Conscious Chick
Dawn Hammitt and Jane Conroy have been able to cater to a whole new clientele since switching over to all organic hair products nearly two years ago. Girlfriends photo by Thom Caya
‘Eco-friendly’ hair products give salon owners new lease on life By JERRY SMITH
J
ane Conroy was finding it tougher to breath each time she colored hair or gave a client a perm. The frequent use of chemicals, coupled with her asthma, made working in a salon more difficult as each day passed. Fast forward two years and Conroy is breathing just fine. After replacing the traditional hair products in her salon — “Of the Earth” Eco Salon in Elysian — with environmentally friendly organic products, the stylist says she feels healthy again. “It was a life-saver,” said Conroy, who has owned her own salon for more than 10 years. “I’ve seen too many stylists get sick due to the chemicals and I didn’t want that to be me. “I was looking for a more healthy existence, and since we’ve gone organic, I have felt so much better. We all feel better in our working environment.” That transformation hasn’t
gone unnoticed by Conroy’s clients. One thing that strikes people more than anything about “Of the Earth” is that it doesn’t smell like a typical beauty shop. “It really doesn’t have that salon smell and that’s because we have rid our business of most, if not all, traditional hair products,” partner Fawn Hammitt said. Destination salon By replacing their hair products with those that are natural and environmentally conscious, “Of the Earth” instantly became one of the few ‘eco-friendly’ beauty salons in the region and in Southern Minnesota. Elysian — a destination spot for outdoor enthusiasts because of Lake Elysian — can now be considered one of the organic hot spots of Southern Minnesota for those looking for eco-friendly hair products. “It’s been a very positive change for us,” said Conroy, who said she is aware of only two eco-friendly salons in Girlfriends.mn
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the Twin Cities. “We have clients coming from the Cities, Mankato, Waseca, Edina, Wells, Minnetonka and even once a year from California. Word is spreading. We’re able to cater to a whole new clientele.” In the beginning Conroy and Hammitt have been partners for nearly four years and, along with Sheehy-Lee, saw an opportunity to not only grow their business, but also to help those who couldn’t normally go to beauty salons because of the health problems associated with the chemicals. “We can cater to people who couldn’t normally step into a beauty shop,” said Hammitt, who has been into holistic healing for more than 16 years. “We deal with people who have different health issues. And, we’ve increased business. We offer a lot of different services other salons don’t.” Not only do the stylists feel better using the eco-friendly products, they know they are
helping their customers on more than one front. “We really try to impact our community, to be green,” Conroy said. “We’re into the overall health aspect.” For Conroy and her partners, going organic has meant a lifestyle change for all. That change has led them all to think globally. “We could do some major world changing if we could all get on board the organic kick,” she said. “From organic hair products to organic spas to serving organic coffee and treats, we’re there and we couldn’t be happier.” G •••
Doing their part “Of the Earth” is committed to providing professional salon services using natural and eco-conscious products. What: Of the Earth Eco Salon Where: 107 W. Main St., Elysian Phone: 507-267-4922 Owners: Jane Conroy, Fawn Hammitt, Leslie Sheehy-Lee
March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:18:49 AM
We Time
Northfield’s leading men auctioned off By JERRY SMITH
G
Jail House Rock
Medford Mall • 507-451-1987 • jjulesfashion.com
What: An evening of socializing, entertainment and fun, sponsored by the Northfield Chamber When: Friday, April 3 Where: The Grand Event Center, Northfield Cost: $10 for Chamber members; $15 for nonmembers (Before March 27) Schedule: 6:30 p.m. — Social/networking & appetizers; 7:30 p.m. — Jailbird Auction; 9 p.m. — Entertainment provided by Scott the DJ Contact: To register or for more information, contact the Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce at 507-645-5604 or visit www.northfieldchamber.com.
irls! Girls! Girls! That’s who the Creative Professionals Committee of the Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce had in mind when it came up with the idea for the “Jailhouse Rock” auction and 50s “sock hop” fundraiser on April 3. The evening will feature an auction of well-known male “jailbirds” from the area, complete with state senator Kevin Dahle (a.k.a. Elvis) as auctioneer, to help raise money for new holiday decorations for downtown Northfield. Ryan Heinritz, a Chamber board member and liaison to the Creative Professionals Committee, said the idea stemmed from a similar event where he was “arrested” by the March of
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Dimes folks and thrown in jail. His release depended on friends and colleagues posting enough “bail” through donations. “We thought it would be a good idea to auction off the male leaders in the area along with gifts they donate,” said Heinritz, the sales and marketing manager for Service Master by Ayotte. Some of the prizes include a private five-course dinner for eight with wine pairings at the Grand Event Center, donated by owner Chuck Pryor; a Lake Pepin boating excursion for six with Jeff Hasse and Mark Mohlke of Country Inn and Suites and Wells Fargo; and dinner and cocktails for two with Northfield Automation’s Brett Reese and his wife Michelle, plus a one-night stay at the Historic Archer House Hotel in downtown Northfield.
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There also will be a Mexico Getaway for two donated by a high-profile mystery jailbird. “When’s the last time you and your girlfriends had The Grand Event Center to yourself?” asked Heinritz. Northfield Chamber executive director Kathy Feldbrugge believes the event is a perfect opportunity to socialize, network and have a fun time, complete with 50s attire. “It should be great fun,” she said. “Having been in the 50s, I can vouch for that.” And, it’s for a good cause, she said. “We’ve been trying to replace the downtown decorations for years,” Feldbrugge said. G — We Time is an occasional Girlfriends accessory providing ideas for those eager to explore the region.
Expression
Identity by
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Willow Edge Studio Suzanne Klumb, Jewelry Designer • www.willowedgestudio.com
March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:19:24 AM
That Girl
For Skluzacek, directing is pure paradise By JERRY SMITH
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hen Julianna Skluzacek went off to college at Indiana University, her dream was to become an elementary school teacher. But like many young students experiencing the freedom of college for the first time, things changed pretty quickly for Skluzacek. The moment of truth for this college co-ed from Davenport, Iowa, was when she auditioned for the Pulitzer Prize-winning drama by Archibald MacLeish called “J.B.” “I did some shows in high school, but theater wasn’t something I wanted to pursue,” Skluzacek said. “I ended up getting one of the leading roles in J.B. and things suddenly changed.” Skluzacek was hooked on theater. From that point on, theater, and more specifically directing, would become the central focus of her life.
While she didn’t finish her degree at IU, she did go back to school to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree in directing from the University of Minnesota in 1994. She has made her living as a director ever since. “I’ve been able to follow my passion,” said Skluzacek, who has directed 71 shows in Faribault, Owatonna and the surrounding area, including “The Price” by Arthur Miller that just ended a run at the Little Theatre of Owatonna. Returning the favor Skluzacek says she wouldn’t be where she is without the help of two wellknown directors in the Twin Cities who helped her find her directing voice. She says she is honored to have been mentored by Ron Peluso, the artistic director at the Historic Theatre in St. Paul, and Stephen Kanee, the artistic director at the Guthrie Theatre in MinneGirlfriends.mn
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apolis. “I’m such a better director because of them,” Skluzacek said. “Because I learned from such masters, I feel I have to pass on my gift. That’s how we learn.” And Skluzacek thinks there is no better place for her to pass on what she has learned from others than community theater. “One of the things I love about community theater is the teaching,” she said. “To not only help the actors give a performance they never knew they had in them, but to also help develop their artistic side. That’s my biggest reward.” Community liaison Skluzacek is a firm believer that nothing brings a community together quite like the arts. She says that has never been more evident than in Faribault, where she was the founding artistic director for “The Merlin
Players” and played an instrumental role in renovating the downtown Paradise Center for the Arts. “(The Merlin Players) started with nothing more than a vision,” said Skluzacek, who is on the Paradise board and is still a part of “The Merlin Players” 14 years after the group was started. “We wanted to work with a talented pool of actors and we’ve fulfilled that vision and gone beyond anyone’s expectations. The icing on the cake is the Paradise.” After 30 years in the area, Skluzacek has also become a firm believer in economic development through the arts. In Faribault, she believes the Paradise Center for the Arts is the focus of downtown. “I think that if you look downtown, the Paradise has been the anchor,” she said. “The future is very exciting for Faribault.” G
March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:20:02 AM
Femme Versatile
Waseca massage therapist Mary Lou Kalbow feels good about making other people, like Suzy Havermen, feel good. After doing many “wondeful” things in her life, Kalbow believes she has found her calling. Girlfriends photo by Thom Caya
Masseuse finds calling after ‘Mid-Life Resurrection’ By JERRY SMITH
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ary Lou Kalbow is good with her hands. It’s probably a good thing, too, because the 56-year-old Wasecan makes her living as a certified massage therapist and registered electrologist. But even outside of the daily work grind, which she says is no grind at all because she loves what she does, Kalbow’s interests in life revolve around her hands. Take, for example, her passion for tae kwon do, the world’s most popular form of martial arts. Without quick hands and powerful punches, she wouldn’t have achieved black belt status. Then there was her love of bow hunting, which took extraordinary hand-eye coordination. That hobby didn’t last too long as Kalbow soon realized it wasn’t really about the animals she was hunting, but about communing with nature. She still likes the nature part,
though. And then in her spare time, you might find Kalbow mixing mortar and stacking bricks as she helps out a friend who is a mason. To Kalbow, masonry is an art unto itself. But to truly know how Kalbow’s love of massage, tae kwon do, bow hunting and masonry came to be, you first have to hear the story of her “Mid-Life Resurrection” in 2005. “In a five-week span, I sold my house, found a new job, quit that job, moved, finished school and started a new job again,” Kalbow said of her resurrection. “My dad was dying and watching him go through that made me think about my life and what was in store for me.” What Kalbow pulled from those long hours of selfintrospection was that she needed a change in her life. So she finished classes in electrolysis — the permanent removal of unwanted hair — focused on massage Girlfriends.mn
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therapy and took her love of tae kwon do to the next level. “I love to do things that are different,” said Kalbow, the owner and sole proprietor of APEX Electrolysis & Bodywork in downtown Waseca. “I’ve always been a bit of a rebel and didn’t always do what I was supposed to do. “I was a rural mail carrier when there weren’t too many women doing that. And you rarely see women working in the masonry business. The same can be said about tae kwon do. You don’t see many black belts around these parts.” Kalbow considers herself lucky to have done so many things in her life. She says it prepared her for what she believes is her one calling in life. “This is what I was meant to do,” Kalbow said of her business, which she opened in 2006. “I love doing electrolysis, but I absolutely adore doing massage. This is what I was meant to do.” G
In Good Hands After doing a number of things — most all of them using her hands — during her lifetime, Mary Lou Kalbow found her “calling.” She opened her new business in 2006. APEX Electrolysis & Bodywork Location 111 N. State St., Waseca Phone 507-351-0376 Web site apexelectrolysisand bodywork.com
March/April 2009
3/13/09 9:36:37 AM
a by Amy Acheson / Photos by Thom Caya
Faribault’s gift of cooperation a
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Locally made gifts — from more than 80 artisans — fill every available space at The Nook & Cranny in Faribault.
Girlfriends page 16 (March/April1 1
s you enter through the front door of The Nook & Cranny in downtown Faribault, you’ll hear the usual chime of a merchant’s bell. Once inside, though, you’ll discover much more than your typical boutique. A grand array of locally made gifts decorate the many “nooks and crannies” with contributions from well over 80 craftsmen and artisans — mostly women — from Faribault and the surrounding region. The boutique that started with just a few friends who wanted to simply support their
hobbies and give to others, has flourished into a collection of artistry that has brought a strong allegiance to the community. The boutique offers quality gifts made for the home and spirit, including precious knitted and crocheted items (like grandma use to make), brilliant one-of-a kind jewelry, eye-catching stained glass creations, artwork in various mediums and stylish purses, just to name a few. In addition, you can find trendy recycled items, vintage collectables and antiques. >>>
3/11/09 11:21:35 AM
>>> It is unusual to find such a selection of gifts made right here in southern Minnesota under one roof. The shop, which opened just under two years ago, has become a hot spot for local consignors. “There are a lot of very talented, very gifted people out there who have a lot to contribute,” said Lynn Cook, owner of The Nook & Cranny. The consignment boutique has quickly drawn creative types from 8 and 9 year-olds to two sisters who are in their 90s — each adding their own unique touch to this eclectic shop. Cook believes more is better when it comes to this type of business and sees the benefit of many minds. “There’s no one person, I think, that knows everything and can do everything,” Cook said. A cooperative effort From that group of 80 talented women, Cook and 12 others take turns volunteering their time running the shop. They work together as a cooperative, each given the say-so to make decisions. “They are vested in their art and they want this to succeed as much as I do,” Cook said. “I trust their judgments.” The concept for such a cooperative was born when a group of public health nurses, a.k.a. “The
Lunch Bunch,” started talking about taking their hobbies a step further. In addition to sharing a common career and having lunch together often, these ladies each had an interest in crafts and artwork. “Nurses often enjoy making things with their hands for relaxation,” Cook said. And it comes as no surprise that these caretakers, some approaching retirement, also wanted to continue helping others in need. “One of our main goals is to help the community,” Cook said. The artists have made many gifts for family and friends over the years but wanted to “spread the wealth” so to speak. That’s when they came up with the idea of The Nook & Cranny — a place where artisans and craftsmen alike can share their passions as well as make a conscious effort to help the community by donating goods and services. The consignees enjoy being part of the business and can feel a momentum from all the good that is happening there as they take part in something larger than themselves. One example of this is how the shop uses donated fabrics, sewing machines and supplies to offer free sewing classes to Somali women. >>>
(TOP) Lynn Cook, the owner of The Nook & Cranny, shows a kettle to customer Carolyn Fritz. The Faribault boutique has gifts — made by more than 80 artisans and craftsmen — on display. (RIGHT) Unique one-of-a-kind scarves brighten up The Nook & Cranny.
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March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:22:22 AM
>>> “We are able to help these women make their own clothes for less and feel a sense of pride in their work,� said Judy Muyres, one of the volunteer teachers at The Nook & Cranny. After completing a class, the women are encouraged to buy a machine at a reduced cost to help others in their community. They have also made some pillows to sell in the shop to help earn money toward more sewing supplies. Buying local Certainly, with the economy as it is and many retail businesses retrenching due to the recession, a shop like The Nook & Cranny can play a valuable role in stimulating the local economy, according to a recent study by Minnesota 2020, a non-profit
Lynn Cook takes pride in filling every nook and cranny with unique gifts.
group that serves as a think tank for “Issues that Matter� in Minnesota. In a recent visit to the gift boutique, the group stated that “each $1 spent with a local, independent business keeps 68 cents at home and circulating in the Minnesota economy.
Furthermore, about 43 cents of the $1 spent at national chains that do not have headquarters in the state stays behind to boost the local economy, according to the study. It drives home the point that these are not times of conspicuous con-
sumption, but rather a time to be smart, savvy spenders that shop local when possible. “We had a very successful Christmas season, unlike what the media was saying,� Cook said. She said that success is attributed to many things, such as people wanting to shop nearer to home. Businesses like The Nook & Cranny have a niche in the marketplace by mixing new sales, such as local crafts and art, with resale items like antiques and retro collectables. This mix is a growing trend in America’s retail today, according to the Encyclopedia of American Industries. There are also benefits, especially during challenging economic times, to this shared-risk business model. It attracts >>>
“There are a lot of very talented, very gifted people out there who have a lot to contribute.� — Lynn Cook, owner of The Nook & Cranny
See your home in a beautiful new way!
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2100 Brown Ave., Waseca, MN 56093
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March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:22:57 AM
>>> consignees because of the relatively low capital investment with a potential of high returns. Some of The Nook & Cranny’s most recent consignors have joined in an effort to ramp up their own business efforts due to unemployment and the need for supplementary income. Community first But it doesn’t stop there. In addition to building a local market that’s good for the economy, the co-op has created a place that the community can come together for the betterment of others. The Nook & Cranny donates gift baskets to benefits and non-profits, and supports local fundraisers, silent auctions and outreach programs. The consignors take pride in The Nook & Cranny being more than a gift shop. Making prayer shawls for IRIS (Infants Remembered in Silence), offering sewing lessons for immigrants in the area and being involved with Ruth’s House, the Ladies Auxiliary and The Dragon Fly Project are ways of giving back. G
Garden Bistro provides shoppers time to relax
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he Nook & Cranny has generated a lot of interest in Faribault and the surrounding area not only because of the unique gifts it offers, but also because of where these treasures are coming from. Not as well known is the fact that the boutique also has a warm and inviting place to sit, relax and enjoy a good cup of coffee and a sweet treat at no cost. The Garden Bistro is a favorite among downtown shoppers looking for those hard-to-find hand-crafted gifts made by more than 80 local craftsmen and artisans — mostly women. The space sits among the many nooks and crannies of this quaint gift boutique and seats up to 24 people. The Garden Bistro is available for reservations and can
The Nook & Cranny’s “Garden Bistro” is a favorite among Faribault shoppers and offers fine coffee and treats. Girlfriends photo by Thom Caya
be used for private parties, like birthdays, anniversaries or special interest groups such as the one that frequently comes to play dominoes. In payment for the coffee, tea and treats and the use of the room for parties and special events, the folks at the Garden Bistro request only that you make a donation to a local non-profit of your choice. On top of that, weekly
classes — where consignors share their knowledge and expertise with others — are available at a fee and can be found on the Web site (www. thenookandcranny.net). The classes offer folks a chance to regain a lost art or have fun creating one of the many “Make n’ Take” projects that are available. G — Amy Acheson
SEID GIVES BACK A chiropractor answers your toughest questions each issue of Girlfriends Q: Is chiropractic treatment appropriate for kids?
Hands on care you can trust
Send your chiropractic questions to Dr. Seid at chirolaura@yahoo.com, or call her at 507-214-2584!
123 West Broadway St. • Owatonna 507-451-7888 • www.intouchpt.com Girlfriends.mn
Girlfriends page 19 (March-April1 1
Laura Seid, DC
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We treat accident injuries, work injuries, sports injuries, back & neck pain, headaches and more. Call Chiropractic Care of Owatonna today! 605 Hillcrest Ave., Suite #120 Owatonna, MN • (507) 214-2584
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Chiropractic Care
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March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:23:35 AM
For the Love of Wine
Starting a home wine cellar for fun and profit
Convenient and Educational For starters, you cannot beat the convenience of a well-stocked wine cellar — indispensable to anyone who entertains on a regular basis — especially now that cooking at home has been officially designated the biggest food trend for 2009. There is no need to panic when friends drop by unexpectedly, just pull a bottle or two from the appropriate bin. Those frenzied, last minute excursions to the liquor store will be a thing of the past. A cellar with ample storage affords the opportunity to educate your palate — the best place to learn about wine is at home, over dinner. With the help of a trusted and knowledgeable wine merchant, purchase a mixed case (12 bottles) or two of diverse wines; insist on a variety of styles (don’t be shy, a good wine salesperson loves doing this
Our wine expert Stephen DeLong is Director of Liquor Operations for the City of Northfield. He has written about Stephen DeLong wine in numerous publications in his 30 years in the business.
sort of thing). At your leisure, try out the various selections with dinner and judge for yourself how well they work with your household cuisine. You may discover that your preferences change over time. Take a Position Of course the ideal situation is to taste before you buy. Join your local wine club — there is no better way to sample myriad styles in one evening and compare wines side by side. Keep in mind that occasionally the wines that stand out in large tasting events may later prove a bit disappointing; somehow they just don’t taste as good when you get them home. The qualities that typically set these wines apart: big (high alcohol), full-bodied; with super-ripe, forward fruit, and lots of toasty
Check out our great selection of domestic and imported wines, beers and spirits. Our friendly and knowledgeable staff is ready to assist you!
oak, can make them unyielding and thus “unfriendly” to food. They tend to overwhelm all but the most robust dishes. Having a wine cellar allows you to become a strategic buyer: you can take advantage of periodic sales and tasting events to stock up on your favorites when the price is right. If it’s within your means, a case purchase also provides at least a temporary hedge against scarcity and inflation. The unfortunate reality of steadily rising wine prices applies across the board, from your newly discovered little $9.99 gem to that hard-to-find, special-occasion “trophy wine.” Age Worthy The most commonly sited reason for having a cellar: to age wines —sometimes for decades — until they reach their prime, is actually the least compelling. The vast majority (at least 90 percent) of current wine production is intended for immediate consumption, and indeed a similar percentage of corks are pulled within 24 hours of purchase. Modern winemaking techniques have fashioned wines that are much more forward and approachable upon release; the notion that a truly fine wine should be undrinkable in its youth is entirely out of step with modern sensibilities. Does wine really improve with age? Well, yes and no. It all depends on the wine. >>>
cellar worthy
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wine cellar is not just an amenity for the well-heeled collector; starting one need not be intimidating, or expensive. Even the casual wine drinker who rarely spends more than $10 for a bottle can enjoy the rewards of a cellar. The first step is to simply recognize the practical necessity for a place to store (and perhaps age) your wine.
116 Fifth Street West • 507-645-5153 • Monday-Saturday 9 a.m. - 10 p.m. Girlfriends.mn
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March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:24:04 AM
>>> Once bottled, all wines undergo the same basic changes over time: the simple, youthful characteristics — notably the aromas and flavors of fruit and perhaps oak — gradually soften and eventually fade. For most wines, c’est tout. Drink them young, while they are still fresh and vibrant. But for an elite handful (of mainly reds), this softening will signal the start of a remarkable transformation: the wines will gain depth and intensity. A complex, generous bouquet will emerge; the palate will become rich and layered, the finish smooth and silky. Unfortunately, it is difficult to predict exactly when, if ever, this metamorphosis will take place, and how long it will endure. Each wine and every vintage develops according to its own time scale. You need to “lay down” at least six bottles of any top-quality wine to adequately monitor its evolution over the years. This can only be accomplished in a proper cellar.
Keep it Simple What are the physical requirements of a wine cellar? Nothing too elaborate; a dry, out-of-theway spot in the basement will work fine. Basically, the space needs to be dark and cool, and secure. It need not be large — a 3-foot by 5-foot corner space with adequate shelving will easily accommodate several hundred bottles. Bottles should be stored on their sides, away from direct sunlight; prolonged exposure to ultraviolet rays can be deadly to wine. Temperature is by far the most important consideration; heat is a natural enemy of wine. A constant temperature of 52 degrees Fahrenheit is regarded as optimal for long-term cellaring, but a steady temperature (free of daily fluctuations) between 55-65 degrees — the seasonal range for a typical Minnesota basement, and the ideal serving temperature for most reds — is suitable for any wine you plan to drink within your lifetime. G
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Paffrath Jewelers 507-451-0301 Bridge Street Center 685 W. Bridge St., Owatonna, MN Authorized PANDORA retailer.
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March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:24:35 AM
Double Duty
Boredom is not an option for Ignacio By JERRY SMITH
Diana Ignacio (left) goes over a real estate document with homeowner Kriss Peterson. Ignacio, who works with Edina Realty in Northfield, is selling Peterson’s home.
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iana Ignacio doesn’t have time to be bored. In fact, since moving to Faribault in 2006, the real estate agent and businesswoman rarely finds time just to relax. But there was a time when the prospect of moving from the big city life of Miami — and all of the fun activities and nightlife that go along with it — to a small town weighed heavily on her mind. “I was concerned when I moved here,” Ignacio said. “I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if there would be enough to keep me busy. “But I quickly got involved in my work and the community and now I don’t have a lot of free time. It’s funny how that has worked out.” Coming to rural Faribault (Millersburg) has been the end of a long journey for Lobo, who was born in South Africa, moved to Mozambique with her family and lived in Venezuela for two years before landing in the United States.
Girlfriends photo by Jerry Smith
Once in the U.S., Ignacio attended Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Fla., where she received a business administration degree. From there, she worked her way up to president of her family’s export business and dabbled in real estate before moving to Northfield with her husband. “My husband was from Minnesota but hadn’t lived here for 30 years,” Ignacio said. “An opportunity presented itself for us to move to the area and we took it. It’s been a wonderful place to live.” It didn’t take long for Ignacio to get acclimated
A TOUCH of CHARM
not only to the cold Minnesota winters, but also to her home in Faribault and her business dealings in Northfield. She jumped right into a busy life. She took her many years of training and experience as a real estate agent in Florida and began working for Edina Realty in Northfield soon after arriving. Ignacio also kept working for Arbonne International, a company that delivers premium quality skin care, color, and nutritional products. She has worked with Arbonne for five years and is now a District Recruiter for the company.
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Six local moms y discuss the scar s topic of teen dating.
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“I love the products because they help people,” said Ignacio, who hosts many Arbonne product parties. “With Arbonne, I have an opportunity to do fun things with a lot of people in the area.” Throw in her duties as office manager at Culligan Water Conditioning in Northfield, a company where her husband is COO, and Lobo has nary a moment to herself. “There are times I wish I could stop for a moment and just watch TV,” said Ignacio, who also is active in her church and community. “I really thought there was going to be a chance that I would be bored, but it’s been the complete opposite.” Despite wishing for a few moments of relaxation and more time to spend with her husband and children who range in ages from 17-26, Ignacio is quite content with her life here. “I feel useful,” said the 49year-old Ignacio. “When you have a life full of things, you are happy and fulfilled.” G
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Snap!
Home computers don’t have to cause stress By JERRY SMITH
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Girlfriends photo by Thom Caya
Dave Purscell believes that parents should keep a watchful eye over their kids and the family computer.
of that happening once, he’s heard of it happening a hundred times, which is why he’d like to help other women avoid similar predicaments with their home computers. “Computers are a part of our lives whether we love them or hate them,” Purscell said. “Ten years ago, we didn’t see problems like this as much.” Purscell offers sound advice for those women (and men) who want to avoid costly repair bills, lost time and a lot of headaches. The best advice he can offer is to keep an eye on your kids. “Typically, it’s the kids who download things that cause
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ave Purscell has made his living helping people make the right choices about their home and business computers. In 10 years as president of Technology Navigators in Owatonna, Purscell has seen almost everything imaginable when it comes to the use and protection of personal computers. In fact, he has heard so many stories of woe — mostly from women — over the years, he could write a book. Purscell recently took a call from a woman who was in panic mode because she had just lost ALL of the contact information she had compiled on her home computer for a class reunion she was coordinating. The devastated woman pleaded for help. “She was almost screaming she was in such a panic,” Purscell said. “She said ‘there has to be a way to get this back.’” To make a long story short, Purscell was able to retrieve the lost information from the fried hard drive and became the woman’s hero. Purscell says if he’s heard
— Snap! is an occasional Girlfriends accessory with timely help for the permanently harried.
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Drive-thru Hours: Mon-Fri 5:30am-8pm Sat-Sun 7am-5pm Café Hours: Mon-Fri 6am-8pm Sat-Sun 7am-5pm 2018 Jefferson Rd • 507-663-6060
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many of the problems,” he said. “Some of these things tend to blow holes in your firewall, giving people unrestricted access. Add to that not having a current anti-virus and you’ve set yourself up for disaster.” Purscell says the surest sign that any or all of this has happened are the popup warnings about viruses. Another sign of a problem occurring is when your computer becomes sluggish. In other words, if applications are taking an extraordinary long time to load, you may have a problem, Purscell says. Where kids and computers are involved, Purscell says parents must enforce strict policies and guidelines. “The number one thing is that home computers should be password protected,” he said. “Then, kids get restricted logins so they can’t install programs. That can save you hundreds of dollars down the road in virus cleanup. And it’s something you can do before you are infected.” G
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Words of wisdom Dave Purscell of Technology Navigators of Owatonna offers these seven tips to avoid home computer headaches: 1. Make sure your computer is password protected 2. Make sure you have current working anti-virus protection (“Avast is number one on the market) 3. Know what your kids are installing or wanting you to install. 4. Know what sites your kids are going to. “A lot of parents we talk to don’t even know how to spell Facebook, let alone what it is. They’re your kids, so it’s OK to know their Facebook login.” 5. Take time to understand and help your kids understand online security, and by all means, never divulge your name, city, or your age. “There are predators out there.” 6. Have a firewall. “For $50120, you can purchase a good firewall.” 7. By all means, have a reliable back-up system. “If you lose a Quicken file, you’ll realize you should have had a backup file.”
My practice emphasizes women’s and children’s health, including healthy nutrition for families, improving immunity in young children, individualized detoxification/cleansing protocols, optimizing gastrointestinal health, and educating and counseling on a variety of women’s health issues including a whole woman approach to menopause. Leslie Vilensky
Minnesota Valley Naturopathic Clinic
702 Columbus Avenue South • New Prague, MN (952) 758-5988 • mnnaturopath@gmail.com
March/April 2009
3/11/09 11:26:07 AM
The dating game Today’s love affair with cell phones, text messaging and Facebook has changed the parameters of dating among teenagers. Just how much has it changed from one generation to the next? Chatfest In the inaugural “Girlfriends” Chatfest, six mothers talk about what dating means to them and about their childrens’ dating experiences.
A
s six women with children ranging in age from 10-22 came into the room to talk about dating, the tension was a little high. Each had individually expressed a certain amount of anxiety about sitting around with women they didn’t know very well to talk about a pretty intimate subject. Some even said they would participate in “Chatfest” to merely hear other opinions about dating and dating parameters. But like any good conversation, once someone spoke up, the others followed and a great chat ensued. From determining the definition of dating to a discussion about group dating and the appropriate age at which teens should begin actual one-on-one Girlfriends.mn
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March/April 2009
dating, by the end of the night, the women felt comfortable talking about almost anything. The participants — Julie Huddock, Michelle Gaydeski, Kim Bardwell, Cheryl Mathison, Marcine King and Marilyn Hanson — not only helped each other answer lingering questions about dating, they also provided funny and interesting anecdotes about the subject. The following is the coversation that took place between the six women. Some of the comments were cut to accommodate the space, but most of the “Chatfest” is included. If you would like to read the conversation in its entirety, please visit www.girlfriends.mn, click on the “Chatfest” tab and enjoy. >>>
Girlfriends: How would you define dating? Michelle: I’m just going to let Nicholas take the lead on the dating thing. I’ll try to help him along the way and try to guide him as I’ve done every step of the way so far. We need to define the dating thing. Girlfriends: You all get to define that. Kim: What we have noticed is that when they were in middle school that’s when they start realizing it’s fun to start liking somebody and go out with them. But they don’t go anywhere. They might meet up at a basketball game or they might wave at each other at the school, but technically they don’t go anywhere. That’s pretty safe. Then, at about age 12 or 13, they start asking if they can go to the bowling alley and meet up there, and all of the parents, of course, have to be willing to drive. Usually there’s not an adult chaperone there, and so that is what I would call group dating. I’ve always told my kids that if you have
your eye on someone and you like them, that’s perfectly fine and if you sit next to them during the movie, there’s no problem with that. It’s kind of learning how to date. It’s the beginning of it. My daughter who is 17, she actually has been going out with the same guy for three years now. There was a lot of communication between his family and ours. I called her (the girl’s mother) up right away and said this will probably last only two weeks, so I thought I would introduce myself and open up the lines of communications to see if there were any concerns at all. Now look at it, here we are three years later and they are still together. It’s been an open, honest conversation the entire time. He is in the same class as her but is almost a full year older, so he had his driver’s license almost a full year before he could take her out, just the two of them. That’s how we defined the group dating. It was a nice introduction into one-on-one dating. Michelle: I think that definition is right on. Having one that’s
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just getting into it and saying he likes certain girls but not taking it any further. I asked him how many kids your age in your class are actually going on one-on-one dates and he said not many at all. He doesn’t know of anybody. Julie: I don’t think the kids really know the definition of dating, because I asked my teenager and she said ‘oh mom, we don’t date.’ She really doesn’t know yet. She talks about boyfriends and girlfriends, and there is the whole definition of what’s a boyfriend. She says she has a few friends who say they have boyfriends and they talk to each other at school or they text each other, but they don’t go anywhere together just the two of them. At dances they will talk to each other and occasionally dance together. It’s more of a group thing. Cheryl: We were very fortunate. They were always with a group and they had a lot of friends, especially Todd, who had a lot of friends who were girls. I think he only dated one girl for a couple of months in high school and that was it. We’ve been >>>
Name: Julie Huddock; Age: 42; Occupation: Occupational Therapist at Curves in Burnsville; Children: Haley (13); A.J. (11); Kevin (10)
Name: Michelle Gaydeski; Age: 42; Occupation: Stay at home mom in Northfield; Children: Nicholas (13); Allison (8)
March/April 2009
3/11/09 2:08:46 PM
>>> really fortunate that their dating experiences were minimal, but it was always with friends. Dating is wonderful until there’s a break-up, and then you have a mass of emotions and hurt and pain, and it affects school and everything else in their lives. Marcine: They’re thinking about how they can live with this person in the world after a painful break-up. That has been Crosby’s worst fear. That scares him. Cheryl: When Todd was in middle school, he had a really good friend, who was a girl, and they decided to date. But they decided not to after awhile because it so changed their friendship. And that friendship was more important. The pressure when it’s just you and one other person is immense. Do I look Ok? I have to start a conversation. Am I saying the right thing or the wrong thing? The pressure is just ridiculous. I think why concern yourself with that when you are so young and you can be out with a group of friends, having a great time. That one other person you
are interested in might be there, but the pressure is not there. Marcine: What helps me enforce the 16-year-old rule (to start dating) is that Crosby didn’t date. I know of others who had an older child who didn’t enforce this rule and had younger children. Now how do you enforce this rule when you gave in? My oldest was very compliant, and now, even at 17, he doesn’t know if he’s really ready for this. Now she (Jillian) is chomping at the bit, but she won’t date until she’s 16 and she knows it. Girlfriends: Why age 16 for your kids? Marcine: It was kind of the way the cell phone was, which was eighth grade. You have your first (child), and it worked, so then everybody else has to live with it. Kim: For us, it was because they couldn’t drive prior to that. We were already picking them up and taking them to practices and things and really didn’t want to do any more than that.
Anna s Closet
Also, I was 16, and you go by how your parents raised you. That’s the reason why 16 is the age and how we came up with that. Marilyn: I think it’ll be 18 at my house, but I don’t know. Girlfriends: Has anybody asked your girls out? Marilyn: Well, yes. It’s the texting kind of thing. It’s not really dating. Marcine: Between the texting and the cell phone, you really have to pry to find out who they’re communicating with regularly. Nobody is calling your house and asking to speak to so and so anymore. I don’t actively read their text messages, but if I see it and it says ‘read now’ I have. There was a message that I thought was inappropriate and I confronted her. I said you can either tell me who it is, or I’ll hit the button and call him. That changes it. It’s not as simple anymore. I’m pretty sure she’s not dating, but just infatuated. >>>
Name: Kim Bardwell; Age: 44; Occupation: Guest teacher in Northfield; Children: Kelsey (17); Jordan (16); Josiah (12); Kaleb (10)
Name: Cheryl Mathison; Age: 45; Occupation: Teacher at the ALC in Northfield; Children: Todd (22); Meghan (20); Jake (13)
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>>> Kim: I think you would find out if one of your kids were dating through the other kids. Their eyes are all over the place. And also you can find out through other parents. I love the fact that if my little Kaleb is getting in trouble I’ll hear about it. I think we need to stay on top of it and parents need to help each other. Julie: The texting thing really makes me nervous. When we talk about 16 and 13, I just don’t think at that age they have the judgment to know better. My daughter got a text one day and I didn’t know that name. It was some guy that she knows and she didn’t want to text him and she wanted me to. I said ‘you gave him your phone number’ and she said ‘oh, mom, he’s fine.’ I asked her if she had ever met him and she said no and that he lived down in Faribault. This is an example of what not to do and she didn’t know. She was just helping her friend. I’m not sure they are mature enough to make those choices. Marcine: Does anyone else check the phone?
Marilyn: I did one time when I was a little concerned and then I realized I should have gone about it in a better way. I should have tried to talk to her (my daughter) about it first and then if I was worried about her, then I should have looked. I should respect her privacy.
weekend it’s her, the next weekend it’s her type of thing. That’s what I’ve heard.
Marcine: Bruce first started just right in front of them and said ‘let me see your phone’ and he would go through their text messages. At first, I wasn’t sure. But now they know that it can happen any time.
Julie: In our day, if a guy asked you out, he was paying. That was many years ago and I don’t know if the same rules apply today.
Julie: My husband and I were talking and we wondered who pays for a date these days. Does it fall on the boy all of the time? Marcine: It goes back to do they technically date? You wouldn’t ask someone out one week and then someone different the next week, would you? Kim: I think when it’s considered dating it’s because they like each other and they’ll go out for several dates or maybe even a few months. So, I don’t think it’s one
Marcine: With our boy, because he is the oldest, we’ve told him you would be expected to pay for the meal. I think that part of that is what would be expected of you.
Marcine: Another thing is at age 16, can you date before you have your own money to date? Girlfriends: We’ve all heard the words ‘we’re’ dating or we’re going out’ when they really aren’t going anywhere. Even if that only means they like somebody, when is it appropriate for that to be displayed by buying someone a gift at Christmas or Valentine’s Day? Julie: I don’t know if I would let my daughter just figure it out on her own. I would give her >>>
Name: Marcine King; Age: 49; Occupation: Admissions office at St. Olaf College; Children: Crosby (17); Jillian (15); Carver (10)
Name: Marilyn Hanson; Age: 43; Occupation: Self employed ... owner of small business in Burnsville; Children: Annika (15); Elise (13)
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Girlfriends.mn
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27 March/April 2009 3/11/09 2:11:25 PM
Join the Chatfest!
where local women turn
You and your girlfriends can be the next Chatfest panel! For more information, visit www.girlfriends.mn and click “Chatfest.”
“I was looking for ways to better my physical and mental health.”
Chris Chris Ozmun Chris had recently completed an alcohol recovery program and he was looking for ways to better his health. Like Chris, you can find ways to improve your health at Northfield Chiropractic. We will work with you to find ways to improve your life both structurally and nutritionally, to find the best treatment option for your situation. If you are interested in making significant changes to your health, the first step is talking with our doctors to see if chiropractic might be right for you. Check out Chris’s story at www.northfieldchiropractic.com.
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Kim: Our 12-year-old had been going out with a girl for probably a month and a half when Christmas was rolling around and he wanted to get her a gift. It might have been more about obligation because she had already given him something. But he unfortunately had a friend who talked about how much money he was going to spend. I did give my input. I said ‘I will take you shopping and we’ll figure this out, but I can tell you right now that you can’t spend any more than $10.’ He said he was spending his own money and pulled out this wad of cash and I said ‘no.’ It turned out well, though. We were walking through the mall and one of the jewelry stores had all of these same Teddy Bears, and they cost $10 and all of the proceeds went to a children’s hospital. It was perfect. And they broke up just a few weeks later. I don’t let them spend a lot of money. The whole dating thing versus going out is different with everyone. If I were to ask Josiah if he were dating this girl, he would say “no, we’re going out.” I think in their minds there’s a definite difference. It’s just a word. Cheryl: I don’t know if you would ever hear a middle school kid say ‘we are dating.’ I think that’s a term they use in high school. I think they all say ‘we’re going out.’ Girlfriends: What time is an appropriate curfew? Marilyn: I think sometimes it’s however late I want to stay up. Marcine: A part of the curfew can’t just be about kids and what makes them happy. On a Saturday night it could be different because we go to church in the morning and we don’t want to be up until midnight. So it can’t always be just about them. Marilyn: I really like that. I really don’t have a set time, but I should.
www.northfieldchiropractic.com Girlfriends.mn
Girlfriends page 28 (March-April1 1
>>> some of my opinions.
Marcine: Crosby snuck out this summer and that really surprised us because he is so compliant. But it was a big, tall girl who has always liked him and he’d been gone for a week. I said ‘you didn’t even give us the benefit of the doubt.’ Bruce said ‘I could have stopped him but I let him hang himself.’ Bruce locked all of the doors and then called and had his cell phone service disconnected. It was to remind him that we hold all of the cards and that you have all of these privileges as long as you stay within the boundaries. Bruce said ‘I didn’t wake you up because I know you would have run after him.’ And I would have. That’s the thing about curfews. Every kid has a different time. Girlfriends: Cheryl, when your kids come home from college, what is their curfew? Cheryl: I don’t sleep until the garage door goes up. No matter how old your kids are, it doesn’t matter. It’s always been midnight, but then once they graduate from high school, they’re 18 and they really don’t have a curfew. They knew that if they wouldn’t be home by midnight, they should call. We didn’t tell Meghan and just this last summer when she was a sophomore, she came in late and came up to the bedroom to tell me where she was and I said ‘honey, you’re in college, you don’t have a curfew.’ Tony and I were just going to let her keep thinking that it was still midnight. Even now, if they are out they will call. If I don’t hear from them, I will call them. I don’t have any control over them now that they are out of the house, but I will always worry. G • Visit “Chatfest” at www. girlfriends.mn to read the entire transcript. • If you would like to be a part of the next “Chatfest” panel in your town, call Jerry Smith at 507-645-1136 or email him at jsmith@I35targetmedia.com.
28 March/April 2009 3/11/09 2:34:01 PM
From the Heart
Girlfriends photo by Thom Caya
The Schneiders are one big happy family now as Terry (right) and her son Taylor (in back) welcomed Dan and Darrell into their lives.
Unfortunate circumstances lead to one happy family By JERRY SMITH
B
efore Terry Schneider’s father died a couple of years back, he whispered four words that she’ll always take with her. He simply said: “I’m proud of you.” Schneider was touched deeply by these words because she knew at the time he uttered them that they were directed at one specific deed she had done — a good deed that brought her family closer together. The story of that good deed begins when Schneider’s second daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in 1994 and another boy less than two years later. “I have loved those boys from the first day they came into this world,” said Schneider of her grandsons, one of which has cerebral palsy. “I was so happy that I would get to be a part of their lives.” Even though Schneider was thrilled to have two grandchildren, she knew in
her heart that her daughter should never have had children because she was not fit to be a mother. “My daughter had a lot of problems at the time,” she said. “I would always hope that she would come around.” But that never happened. Time after time, the boys’ mother would leave them with somebody and take off, not to be heard from for days. And time after time, Schneider would fly out to California to take care of her young grandsons while she waited for her daughter to return. The final straw Then in 2002, Schneider received a call from her daughter’s boyfriend — the father of one of the boys — who said she had left the boys with him and that he just couldn’t handle it. Even though her daughter came back and took the boys, Schneider knew that Girlfriends.mn
Girlfriends page 29 (March/April1 1
if she didn’t take control of the situation, the boys would keep suffering from their mother’s constant disappearances. Taking control meant taking custody of the children and bringing them back to Owatonna to live with her and her son Taylor, who was thrilled to be getting two “brothers.” After months of filing paperwork and having to be certified as a foster parent, Schneider was able to bring her boys — and the baggage they carried with them — home in August 2003. “The first couple of years were horrible,” said Schneider, an administrator at the Cedarview Care Center in Owatonna. “The oldest (Daniel) had Reactive Attachment Disorder, which is common with kids who are abandoned. He was my big challenge because of the emotional problems he brought with him.” Another chapter of this
feel-good story was written in March 2006 when Schneider adopted her grandsons. Although it was a “big struggle” and she had to file reams of paperwork, it was all worth it. “I look back and I don’t know how I got through these years,” Schneider said. “I cried myself to sleep many nights. “But they have blossomed so much since I’ve gotten them. They’ve grown beautifully. Each year gets better.” While the final chapter hasn’t been written, Schneider feels confident it will include a happy ending. “If I can get them both through high school and Darrell into college and Daniel into a trade school, I think life will be good,” she said of her grandsons who are now 14 and 13 years old. “I had the means to give them a good home and couldn’t have lived with myself if I didn’t. This was meant to be.” G
29 March/April 2009 3/13/09 9:32:36 AM
Daddy’s Girl
Her life’s been enveloped by dad’s love M
y father woke me to see night sky events like comets and eclipses. He gave me wonderland. As a girl, I imagined my father as a racecar driver. He glided our Impala to the front of the pack and won every race. At night in the backseat, I wondered if we chased the moon or if the moon followed alongside like an iridescent, knowing guide. Daddy made us laugh. He teased us by calling the monkeys at the zoo cute little Norwegians. He walked and then skipped just to be goofy. Growing up we watched bowler Earl Anthony on the PBA tour. Our family learned the truth about nature with the Discovery Channel. We cheered sports teams and contestants on Wheel of Fortune. My father fixed things and we got to help him. He built cages for all the forest critters we brought home. We rode the creeper while he worked under the hood of the car. He gave me a fully stocked toolbox to bring to college. He diagnosed car troubles over the phone.
My favorite picture shows his celebratory pride as he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day. My life has been enveloped by his pride. I never wanted to disappoint him. When I cried, he rubbed my back and asked me to tell him what was wrong. He was in my corner for friend battles and rejections. He taught me to count change and excel at extra credit math problems. He sang the Teddy Bear’s Picnic song. Daddy was in the audience for my clarinet concerts and graduations and he applauded readings of my stories. He heartily ate the experimental dinners I cooked, the gloppy gnocchi, the dry roast beef. He didn’t miss an airing of my ArtZany! Radio show. Then the universe flipped on us. At the same time I was busy growing a beautiful daughter and a beautiful son in my belly, a tumor grew in my father’s chest. Lung cancer. Three days after the diagnosis, the family gathered for his 67th birthday dinner. The next day I gave birth to twins. Girlfriends.mn
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My father shared 14 months on this earth with my children, their lives intersecting like a Venn diagram, merely a sliver of the moon. Those last days with Daddy, I wanted to talk. He believed he would beat this cancer thing. We joined him while he read his newspapers or watched CNN or Formula One racing. He escaped to his computer screen to talk in software codes. I held his magnificent hand in the hospital bed. If you asked him how he was doing, he said, “Just ducky” or “Still sitting up and taking nourishment.” In another favorite picture, my father is with my daughter. They are both holding up their hands. My daughter is 2 months old, it’s Valentine’s Day, and it’s one year and three days until his death. It reminds me of his pride and how my children have the moon. G — Paula Granquist shared an appearance on “Romper Room” with her sister Kim and also collects her Chinese cookie fortunes in a Tiffany crystal jar.
We want you to be our next ‘Daddy’s Girl’ Many women carry special memories of their relationship with dad. “Daddy’s Girl” showcases those relationships through first-person accounts. If you’re interested in sharing your story, visit www.girlfriends. mn, and click on the “Daddy’s Girl” link. You’ll find more details on the feature, previous columns and an interactive form for submissions. You can also contact Jerry Smith at 507-645-1136 or jsmith@I35targetmedia.com if you are interested in sharing your story.
March/April 2009
3/12/09 3:50:00 PM
The play-by-play of the
man vs. woman oil change There is no denying that men and women have different ways of going about the same task. Never is the difference more apparent than in the case of the oil change. Here’s a play-by-play of Women: the man-vs-woman 1. Stop at James Gang on Hwy. 3 on the way to Oil Can Henry’s, order oil change. a decaf skim latte but go for a dab of whipped cream because you deserve it. 2. Sit in your vehicle reading “Girlfriends” and sipping your delicious coffee drink. 3. Fifteen minutes later, pay with the Oil Can Henry’s coupon you got online at www.oilcanhenrys.com and leave with the job done and the whole day ahead of you. Men: 1. Go to auto parts store and drop a bundle for oil, a new filter, kitty litter and a talking tire gauge (darn impulse-buy rack gets you every time). 2. Gather tools and slide recycling container under oil pan. Realize you grabbed the wrong spanner to remove the oil drain plug, so you decide to use Vise-Grips since you’re already on your back. 3. Unscrew drain plug, but fumble with it and soak forearm in not-quite-cool-yet motor oil. Lose drain plug in recycling container. 4. Look for oil filter wrench, but give up and stab filter with a screwdriver, then twist it off. Install new oil filter. 5. Almost done! Remove oil cap and pour first quart into engine. Quickly realize you forgot to replace the oil drain plug. Race to reinstall plug with wrong wrench and skin knuckles on motor mount. Bang head on A-arm in reaction. 6. Tighten plug and add remaining oil. Watch wife pull into driveway with the smug look of efficiency on her face and an Oil Can Henry’s decal on the driver side of the windshield. 7. Of course, all of that can be avoided by taking your vehicle to Oil Can Henry’s.
Oil Can Henry’s 1930 Honeylocust Drive Northfield, MN 55057 507.645.7979
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Girlfriends page 31 (March-April1 1
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