It keeps him occupied

A 1950S Childhood in Moss Side Well it keeps him occupied

By Dave Hulson

Saturday morning the peace and quiet was interrupted by Dads Royal Enfield bike pulling up at the house.

Roger and I ran to the front door,and opened it as dad was about climb off his bike.

Come and help me he said I've been to Cordinglys scrap yard.

We stepped down on to the pavement ,and looked at his new acquisition that was tied down on the side cars box.

As dad threw off the securing ropes, he shouted help me lift it off lads.

Now Roger and I have seen many strange things come into our house, Over the years ,And it didn't escape our notice that Mum was at her mothers house in Timperly .

Its a heavyweight Dad ,said Roger grunting .

What is it Dad I said, collecting the ropes that had secured it .

As it banged down onto the pavement Dad said it was an ATCO lawnmower.

It was a bloody good job that mum wasn't here, as we didn't have a lawn ,for that matter nobody in moss side had a lawn, except for Alexandra park.

Does it work dad ,Roger said .

I think so smiled dad puffing on his pipe ,but no matter if it doesn't , I only wanted it for parts anyway .

Now getting a bloody big green lawnmower up the front steps past the door along the hallway into the kitchen and down the stairs into the cellar was not an easy job especially with its grass box still on ,and handle bars plus fuel tank ,that smelt like it may be leaking.

In the back cellar it was lifted up and placed on the stone table .

Well done boys dad said as the smoke from his pipe curled up to The ceiling.

Dad said Roger, I wouldn't smoke down here ,that fuel tank stinks.

Okay boys now get upstairs and tidy up will you ,before your Mother comes home.

For a few days all we heard from the cellar was banging and the odd few swear words.

Even Mum didn't seem all that bothered , as she would always say it keeps him occupied .

Then I happened ! vaput, vaput, varuppppppppppp.

Jesus said mum jumping up and nearly jumping out of her skin !

Just what the hell is he doing down there.

As mum opened the door that lead down to the cellar, blue grey smoke billowed out into the kitchen, and the noise increased one hundred fold.

Varuppppppppppp.

ARTHUR ! Mum shouted what the hell are you doing ,stop it now !

The noise stopped ,but the blue grey smoke still rose up the stairs , And as Mum looked down them she saw Dads grimy face looking up at her .

And then he smiled , it works he shouted ,come on down and have a look!

After the the smoke and fumes had dissipated Mum lead the way down with Roger and I close behind.

As we entered the back cellar bits of lawnmower were scattered all over the place, and on the stone table sat Dad who was sitting on a The saddle of a sort of motor bike.

Get down from there you daft bugger Mum said.

As dad got off his creation ,his head hit the light bulb and it started to swing back and forth.

And ! said Mum with arms crossed across her chest.

Now when a swinging light bulbs illuminate a woman face especially when you know she's Really, Really Angry , it can be a terrifying site for her husband.

Roger looked at me and whispered , let's see if Dad can get out of this!

I got this idea of putting an engine onto a push bike frame ,it'll give an extra power oomph when you go up hill ,or on long rides ,1st it's a push bike ,then it's a motor bike ,here are the controls, throttle ,brakes ,fuel tank ,advance and retired lever.

Very nice now get it out of my house and into the back yard, said mum as she walked away.

"You know that quiet time ,when nothing is said, until the person leaves the room and is out of earshot" Okay tomorrow dad said as he concocted his plan ,when your mum goes out to her ladies friendship group at seven , we'll get this bike out of here .

What ever you say Dad said Roger shaking his head.

The next day , and mum had just left the house.

Come on said Dad going down the cellar , following behind him Roger and I , entered the back cellar just as dad lowered his bike to the ground from the table.

But how are you going to get it up the steep stairs Dad said Roger .

Planks my decorators planks , he said if I place them end to end up the stairs should be no problem ,we can push it up the stairs.

"Now This sounds easier than it actually was" Well we pulled ,pushed ,and tried to pull it up with ropes, no way would this bike get up them stairs.

Then Vaput varuppppppppppp out of the way shouted Dad as the blue grey smoke filled the cellar, and the rear drive wheel spun into life Spinning on the spot the rear wheel finally got a grip and with the weight of my father on the bike it took off like That American dare devil Chap Evel Knievel. Who jumped over the grad canyon .

How he kept it strait as he shot up the ramp and through the open cellar door and we'll never know how he stopped the thing from ending up in the fire place.

well now the house was full of smoke and mum should be home in a bit.

Roger and I were wafting the front and back door trying to get rid of the smoke, while dad drove the bike into the rear yard.

It's a mean looking machine Roger said .

Actually it was a big engine on an old bike frame ,the brakes front and rear were of the rod type.

I'm just going to test it ,while there's daylight left said my father putting his flat cap on back to front , he started to pedal down the entry ,then the bike exploded into life varuppppppppppp and dad was holding on for grim life as smoke belched from the small exhaust just over the rear wheel.

Now dad was riding on something he couldn't control, as he left the entry and turned right onto Gt Western Street, I could see he was trying to turn off every leaver, as I ran down the entry only to see him disappear In to the distance.

He must have been touching 35 mph .

Note * Remember as a kid ,you had a bike with a fixed wheel, And the only way to get off it was to crash it.

It must have been an hour later when dad turned up at the house pushing his wonder bike, "it's a bloody death trap said dad" Throwing it into the back yard, it nearly killed me ,the wheels buckled ,the brakes would hold it, and the only way I could stop it was by turning of the petrol , and there must have been a hell of a lot of fuel in that line, i was just past St Beads said Dad when he deliberately crashed it into their bushes around the front lawn.

Don't tell your mother ,do you hear me , or I'll never hear the end of it.

Don't tell your Mother what ,said mum coming through the kitchen door.

Oh nothing dear said Dad trying to cover his ripped trousers.

If it's anything to do with that daft contraption Mum said .

May Mcgreggor ,she saw you going like a bat out of hell down the road , and she told me all about it, she said you looked like George Formby in that film the TT Rider,