Moss side days

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A 1950s Childhood in Moss Side He aint heavy he’s my brother A story from Bygone Days

By Dave Hulson

Roger Hulson

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I love Chorlton meadows ,our kid ,so what are we doing here, are you after golf balls from the golf course again.

Nope he said were ratting , the Corporation pay big money for rat tails, Why do they want rat tails I said .

How the hell should I know ,but they do. And then Roger added a tut ,as if everybody knew it was a fact.

I don't really fancy cutting tails off rats I said.

We shoot them first he said with this , and then he pulled an air pistol from inside his pants.

Woooo I said .

And before you ask the answer is no ,you're not having a go , Mum would kill me if she found out that I let you even hold it, and she would kill me if she knew I even had it.

I looked at Barry dobbins , don't ask me he said I'm two years older than you and he won't even let me have a go. Same here said Graham .

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So why did we have to come all this way to hunt rats for their tails, when we sometimes see then run down the back entry near our house I said.

Their city rats and there full of germs said Roger adding a yuck! , not like these country rats, there clean and shiny it's with all the swimming they do.

But a rat is a rat I said .

Rubbish ! If that's was so said Roger why do they make fur coats out of country rats and not town rats.

"Makes sense to me, I thought they wouldn't use mucky rats would they,he's so smart my brother , you know he really did learn a lot in his final year at St Margaret's School."

Anyway he said standing at the bridge , and doing his Alec Guinness impression from that prisoner of war movie, bridge over the river Kwai .

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Taking the air pistol from his under pants he pointed it down the river towards a sluice gate, that's the place he said for getting the best quality rats.

Okay by me said Graham let's get over there ,so we all slid down the embankment to the waters edge and creeped down to the sluice gate and that's where we stayed for at least two hours. puttt ! Puttt !......Roger, said Barry ,you're not anywhere near them with that air gun.

I can sense their fear said Roger, that's why there staying hidden.

I'm getting bored our kid ,can we give it a rest I said.

Roger, said Barry ,you've been at it for ages now and you've not shot anything.

Come on said Graham let's get up the banking and have a sit down .

Roger thought about it for a moment and finally said okay, and twirled the air pistol around his finger and then pushed it deep into the elastic band of his underpants yup lets go he said. " John Wayne couldn't have twirled the gun any better than our kid. " 4

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(Sorry

about that,back to the story.)

We made a human chain and pulled our selfs up the slope and laying atop of the embankment, we watched the shapes in the clouds drift by and remarked on them.

It's getting dark said Barry .

We best be getting back home replied Graham.

Come on then said Roger getting up , and then giving me a tug up ,over there by that pump house there's a way down into the field and it comes out near Chorlton park.

"Have you noticed it as well , it not just old people who groan when they get up ,Even kids groan when the stand " Anyway We started off for home , via the pump house and the field, jumping down into the field ,I saw a flock of sheep, and a massive concrete wall on the right ,it must have been at least fifteen feet high .

We were a good way down the field when we heard the voice boom out.....

OI YOU LOT !, Run shouted Roger it's the Farmer.

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We legged it ,but being the youngest with the littlest legs I was soon lagging behind , I'LL. SET THE DOG ON YOU LOT ! shouted the farmer , What dog said Roger looking around , bloody hell ,it ‘s one of them collie dogs. we're going over the wall shouted Graham , good idea said Roger as he too stopped running and started to climb the mountain of a wall .

By this time Graham and Barry had got to the top and dropped over the wall onto the other side .

At the top of the wall Roger stopped and held out his hand for me so I could be pulled up but I couldn't reach it, I can't get up there I shouted I'm to small, Run to the fence at the bottom of the field where it joins the wall he said, now go !

I ran as fast as I could , my heart was pounding.

Then I heard my brothers voice behind me he had gotten of the wall and was just behind me .

Nearly there he said.

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I reached the chain link fence ,and my brother gave me a bunk up, I was on the top of the fence within seconds ,and then over and onto the pavement, a moment later Roger stood by my side. He too with only seconds to spare.

For there on the other side of the fence was the boarder collie ,showing its teeth and barking his head off at its lost prey .

Roger walked up to the fence ,looked the dog in the eye and shouted ,SOD OFF !

Turning around ,are you alright said Roger, yes I said catching my breath.

That bloody dog nearly got us there he said as if it was a game.

Come on our kid said my Big Brother ,let's find them two, we didn't have to look far as the came around the corner .

What happened to you two said Roger holding his nose,Phew! he said looking at the brothers standing in there own little pools of stagnant water .

When we dropped down off the wall we landed in a bunch of nettles said Barry scratching his legs.

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And there's a stinking little brook hidden by them bloody nettles ,and I mean stinking .

Now Graham, Barry's brother was near to tears ,scratching his arms and legs, We had to wade through the brook with millions of them midges sucking our blood before we could get out onto the path, and that's why we're soaking wet!

Graham looked down at his soaking wet sandals and socks Mums going to kill us he said .

And worse than that there's was not a single Dot leaf anywhere about To ease there sufferings.

Notes * We as kids called it a dot leaf ,some spelt it as dok ,but whatever you called it rubbed over a nettle rash stopped the stinging.

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A 1950's Childhood in Moss side (White water And Lucozade

By Dave Hulson

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Why is it that I can only remember the sun shining as a kid , Or was it that we had seasons back in the mid 50's. anyway here goes , Alan,Eric,Gazza and myself went on a journey of exploration to the darker reaches of Chorlton , Each armed with a screw top bottle of corporation pop " tap water" and some sandwiches wrapped in wax paper and stuffed into the pockets of our short pants.

As it was school holidays we were allowed to stay out late, but we still had to be home before it went too dark ," Dark meant by the time the street lights came on" Well we all meet up at the old abandoned tram sheds in Whalley Range at 10 in the morning then ran and walked through the back streets to reach Chorlton Park and came out near Houghend Hall , spooky old place it's supposed to be haunted you know and we knew there was a local farmer but he only ever turned up when kids needed chasing off the property.

At the side of the park we turned right and went straight down past the farm and orchards to the iron bridge that went over the River Mersey to Jackson's boat I've no idea why it's called that ,and I've never seen a boat around there.

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We kept walking down the lane past the pub then cut through the bushes on the right to the White lakes.

"I say lakes for that's what they were to us , they were in fact giant puddles of white creamy water , in later years we found out that the White lakes was in fact stagnant pond water stained that colour because of the Asbestos dumping from the local company ,Turners Asbestos in Trafford Park . for most of the day we skimmed sheets of we know now we're asbestos across the lakes ,built rafts of the stuff and paddle thought it we thought it was fun to have White legs , (I'm 64 and I'm still here) after the best part of a hectic day we had our squashed Sarnies and our corporation pop "Water "while we sat on the White slate hills basking in the sun.

Are we going to watch the rats near the bridge now said Alan . in stunned silence we all turned to look at Alan ,"NO WAY " we shouted there not a chance in hell of you going anywhere near fast flowing water or any Rats so forget it. BUT ,shut it Alan .

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Eric put his hand up and said we could get some apples from the orchard on the way back.

Eric you're not in school said Gazza, put your hand down.

Anyway you'll have to watch out for the farmer because his house is right opposite the orchard said Gazza.

So we we've got a plan said Eric, we picked up our pop bottles " we never left pop bottles as you always got a refund on them" and headed over the bridge up the lane and past the farm house that was on the right and trying not to look guilty, just in case anyone was looking out of a window.

At the top of the lane we turned left and ducked down behind the picket fence.Gazza stuck his head up and had a quick look and said its all clear and clambered over the fence and hid in the tall grass on the other side of the fence. quick he whispered through the fence so Eric went over ,then myself all hidden in the tall grass . "It was like a scene from the great escape " looking behind us we could all see the big red juicy apples just ready for the picking.

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I'm coming ,Alan whispers back , and he climbed over the fence and landed heavily on his bum .

OUCH ! OUCH ! Shouted Alan patting his legs, shut it said Eric the farmer will hear you.

I CAN'T he said , then the screaming started .

Whats he doing shouts Gazza ,now he's standing up and running around and screaming and crying replied Eric.

We're he going said Gazza ,God only knows said Eric, as we all stood up and watched Alan Take off across the orchard screaming.

That's when we realised .

Alan did what only Alan could do ,when he climbed over the fence and landed in the tall grass , he had stood on a wasps nest .

BUZZZZ , buzz buzz .

Hell we shouted as we legged it in the same direction,as Alan, Alan we shouted were you going he didn't reply ,as he was too pre occupied with millions of wasps trying to zap him in the bum. we all ran in the same direction as Alan and were frantically patting our own legs, arms, and heads.

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Finally we caught up with Alan as he had stopped near some houses .

And He had taken his empty bottle of water which he had brought with him out of his pocket and was trying to kill the wasps that were attacking him with it.

The air was now thick with wasps.

Gazza was swatting the air as he ran shouting and pointing ,that house there head towards it ,he didn't have to say it twice , and we actually had to drag Alan along with us as he had stopped and was still screaming and slapping himself all over with that bloody bottle .

(To the person who invented glass porches with doors I thank you) Thankfully the first house we ran too had a porch and it wasn't locked.

Opening the door We threw Alan inside the porch of a house and followed him in closing the door behind us, Three lads still slapping the hell out themselves and one lad Alan hitting himself with a pop bottle , it must have looked like some weird reality game show ,when the internal door opened and a shocked woman stood there, what are you doing in my house .

WASPS ! Shouted Gazza.

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I'll get my fly killer the lady shouted at us ,then slammed her internal door shut behind her.

Alan had stopped screaming now ,he just ain't got a sob left in him Battered and bruised , he finally dropped to the floor of the patio shaking and whimpering ,the pop bottle covered in dead wasps Lay at his side.

Dead wasps lay all around the floor, and outside ,the windows were covered with the bloody things still trying to get into the porch.

Get back boys said the lady as she reappeared and started to spray the air with fly spray.

Get in the house now she shouted to us as she sprayed the deadly fog .

We more or less fell into the house and Gazza grabbed Alan by the scruff of the neck and dragged him into the house.

The internal door slammed behind us , I'll get my tweezers and vinegar said the lady, try and stay still she said as she went of to the kitchen.

On returning Eric looked at Alan and said I think you best start with him Mrs. OUCH ! Ouch! Sobbed Alan as he was de plucked of stingers , and dabbed with vinegar .

"I've never seen a lad with so many lumps and bumps as him" 15

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Eventually we all got home to moss side ,covered in red swollen lumps all over our bodies and stinking of Sarsons Malt Vinegar.

You knock I said , no you replied Eric, bloody hell said Gazza I'll knock.

We waited then we heard the footsteps from the inside coming towards the door,Gazza and Eric Stepped back behind me .

Errrr hello Aunty Joyce I said we've brought Alan home.

OH MY GOODNESS ! What have you done to my little Alan ,screamed Aunty Joyce.

David go to the shop and get some Lucozaide and a bottle of Sarsons.

Remember the old sales slogan, Lucozaide it ,AIDS RECOVERY !

And I think the Sarsons could have been for Alan's Chip supper.

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A 1950's Childhood Moss Side

Splat!

By David Hulson.

So why have you got your finger stuck in the Coal hole grid,said Alan looking down on me.

Because, I replied.

Thats not an answer said Alan.

Okay I'll tell you, I said it's because I'm bored out of my mind,and I'm trying to find out if all the holes in the coal hole cover are the same size.

Oh right said Alan giving me a side ways glance, and are they he said!

How the heck do I know, I said not looking up.

Suppose it gets stuck in a hole ,look Alan I said I'll just pull it out ,anyway it's been stuck a few times, look see the red rings around my finger, so what do you want anyway.

Are we playing out today ,Alan replied.

By doing what said I. Alan thought for a second then said We could explore the coal hole again.

Alan said I ,last time we went down there you fell into all the coal dust and got covered in cat whoopsies, and I got told off for leading you astray by your Mum, So it's a no.

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I don't want to seem hard on Alan but whatever he does he gets hurt , And I always get the blame, like a while back ,the coal mans waggon and horse were outside the house , And Alan suggested we go to the back of the waggon where there are hessian sacks hanging down over edge ,and he thought it would be a great idea to jump up and pinch a sack each, okay said I , I'll go first ,I ran to the back of the waggon and jumped up and tugged on a sack and it fell off, when Alan did it he jumped up and grabbed a sack, but on his sack there was a cast iron weight holding it down , he tugged , Oh he got the sack okay , plus the iron weight as well ....... My Mum heard the screams from inside the house and came running out, David what have you done she said, .... Nothing said I. Heck it was only bruised ,and he only limped about for a couple of weeks."

Anyway back to the story.

So Alan sat down next to me ,looking up and down Bishop Street.

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A voice from behind said hello Alan it's nice to see you ,hi aunty Jean said Alan.

Hi Mum said I .

Do you boys want a drink said mum ! yes please we both replied.

Right I'll be right back ,with that she vanished into the house only to return moments later with two tumblers of juice ,there you go boys said Mum. Thanks aunty Jean.

She smiled then she was gone By heck its National Health Orange Juice I said .

Alan in between slurps said it's My favourite orange juice as well,Look said Alan pointing across the road it's the window cleaner.

Sure enough the window cleaner had turned into the street with his hand cart So what I said .

Look dave he's stopping out side old man Buchans house and he's unloaded his ladders and bucket. shrugging my shoulders so what I said.

Well I've had an idea ,he's going round the back to do Mr B's windows, See his cart .

I nodded . Well whiles he's gone we could run up the back of it balance it in the middle wobble it a bit then run off it.

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Well whiles he's gone we could run up the back of it balance it in the middle wobble it a bit then run off it.

Sounds simple enough and it's not high enough for him to fall off, okay I said with a sigh ! lets do it then , and I'll go first I said just to make sure it's safe.

Okay said Alan.

So I crossed the road and made my run up onto the cart balanced it then let it tip downwards and ran off .

While I was doing this ,Alan had moved to the other end of the cart , as I jumped off. he did his run.....Alan I shouted ..... But it was to late ....SPLAT!.

"Now

on a hand cart there is a level flat area of wood "called the end "that was on the road when I did my run , the other end ,has the hand grips now they rest on the road, that means there's quite a gap between the road and the cart due to the handles resting on the road.......... And Alan found that gap , and his nose found the carts planking, .....I've never seen so much blood ."

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And as with all Mothers they can hear a kids scream for miles ,and Alan was screaming.

Mum came storming out David what have you done,she shouts .

Nowt, Mum I said pointing to Alan ,he sorta fell into the hand cart.

Now Alan was sitting in the middle of the road with blood streaming from his nose and crying.

Come here said Mum who took Alan who was still Sobbing into our house, and as she left all I could hear was there there it'll be alright to him.

Half an hour later washed and cleaned up with two great wads of cotton wool sticking out of his nostrils and an aspirin to take the pain away and to help ease the swelling we took him home to Sloane street.

Joyce ,shouted my mum as she entered there house.

Oh my god Alan what's happened she said looking at me .

He sorta fell aunty Joyce ,I said .

Where's the Lucozade she said as she looked in the medicine cupboard .

Now aunty Joyce is a nice woman who believes everything that written on a label , In this case the Lucozade label that states and I quote , Lucozade aids recovery !

Note...

It didn't ?

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