THIS BO K BEL NGS TO O O
For Maxwell M.H.
For my parents, Rosemary and Terry Bolongaro, and my much-missed mother-in-law, Teresa Peacock. All my love L.P.
A Whale of a Time gathers poems from all over the world. Regional spellings and usage have been retained in order to preserve the integrity of the originals.
First published 2023 by Nosy Crow Ltd
Wheat Wharf, 27a Shad Thames, London, SE1 2XZ, UK
Nosy Crow Eireann Ltd, 44 Orchard Grove, Kenmare, Co Kerry, V93 FY22, Ireland
www.nosycrow.com
ISBN 978 1 83994 201 3
Nosy Crow and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Nosy Crow Ltd.
This selection by Lou Peacock
This selection © Nosy Crow 2023
Illustrations © Matt Hunt 2023
The acknowledgements on pages 345–349 constitute an extension of this copyright page.
The right of Lou Peacock to be identified as the compiler and Matt Hunt to be identified as the illustrator of this work has been asserted. All rights reserved.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of Nosy Crow Ltd.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Printed in China
Papers used by Nosy Crow are made from wood grown in sustainable forests.
Lou Peacock Matt Hunt
Hello!
Thank you for picking up this book. Before you do anything else, can I ask you to turn a few pages and read the poem on page 14? It’s by Rita Dove and it’s called “The First Book”. Then, when you’ve read it, come back . . .
Hello again. What did you think? Did you see the big, bright ray of sun shining through the darkness? The amazement on the boy’s face as the book opens? Now, you might say it’s not an obviously “funny ha-ha” poem and I’d probably agree. But I love it because of what Rita Dove cleverly calls the “tingle”. She’s talking about the way words touch us, so much so that we sometimes respond in a physical way. And that’s the wonderful thing about stories and poems they make us feel things and, somehow, that can change us. What if the first poem you ever read made you laugh and maybe, just maybe, made you want to read another one? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
So “The First Book” is the first poem in this book because reading and feeling and laughing and sharing are what the funny, sad, surprising, beautiful world of words is all about. No matter where you read a poem sun-drowsy in the garden or as you travel on a train the words have the power to touch you. Not just what they say and what they mean (and, by the way, you don’t always have to understand a poem word by word to get that magic tingle) but how they’re arranged too. In a poem, the arrangements of words create lovely melodies through rhythm and rhyme or free verse. They might be slow, soft and soothing, like a lullaby, or quick-march to get your heart racing. And a really funny poem might give you the giggles.
But for me, the real beauty of all these feelings is that you can’t easily keep them to yourself. You want to share, to make others feel this amazing, brilliant thing too. And a funny poem? Well, just like jokes have you heard the one about? they’re made for sharing. When I was working on this collection, I remembered the time I took my son to a Christmas party when he was little. He was the only child there, but he had a little book of Christmas jokes and he read us all his favourites, finding a way to join in with the grown-ups by making everyone laugh. And isn’t the gift of laughter a present we all want to give?
Of course, humour is a very individual thing. What makes one person laugh might leave another cold. So, I’ve done my best to find poems to tickle all sorts of readers. There are slapstick silly poems and tongue-twisters to get tangled in and nonsense poems full of riddles. Some poems are cleverly funny, and some are joyous and uplifting. Some might just make your lips twitch or raise a wry smile, while
others might make you laugh out loud. There are poems about poems and poems about poets. Perhaps one of my favourites is Willard R. Espy’s brilliant poem about the possibilities of mistaken punctuation on a notice at a swimming pool on page 180 look what happens when a full stop is placed just there! From socks to spaniels, eggs to elephants, there are all sorts of poems about all sorts of things. I hope you find lots that will make you laugh and lots you want to share.
And I’m sure you’ll want to share the pictures too. As a picture book publisher, I often say that words only tell half the story, with the artwork completing it. It’s the same in this book. Every time you turn the page you’ll come to a new “story”, where the group of poems has been selected because they share similar content or a mood or tone or feeling. Then Matt, the artist, has worked his magic bringing his own brilliantly unique and quirky view of the world to every page. I love the library full of flying books on pages 128 and 129. I love Horace the monster who isn’t monsterish at all on page 131. And I really, really love Matt’s graphic design of the literary cats on pages 136 and 137, and how it makes us think about what cats are trying to say. A poem can take us somewhere unexpected and pictures can too.
At the beginning of this introduction, I talked about how poems can transform us. I hope in this collection you’ll find poems you love, poems that bring you joy and laughter, and poems you want to share. I hope you have a whale of a time reading them all. One thing’s for sure, as another brilliant poet, Tony Mitton, says on page 226, “you’ll never be the same again”.
Lou Peacock (aka Louise Bolongaro) Anthologist and Publishing Director of Picture Books at Nosy CrowTHE FIRST BOOK Rita Dove
ALTHOUGH Tony Langham
A HAPPY KENNING Clare Bevan
THE HAIRY DOG Herbert Asquith
MOBILE HOME FOR SALE Roger Stevens
I’VE GOT A DOG Anonymous
THE FLEA Kobayashi Issa, translated by R. H. Blyth
IT’S RAINING PIGS AND NOODLES Jack Prelutsky
OUR HIPPOPOTAMUS Colin West
NOISE Anonymous
LEWIS HAS A TRUMPET Karla Kuskin
BIG DREAMS April Halprin Wayland
IF NOT FOR THE CAT Jack Prelutsky
MY MOUSE IS RATHER FOND OF CHEESE Kenn Nesbitt
SPELL TO BRING A SMILE John Agard
LEMONS AND APPLES Mary Neville
I’M GLAD Anonymous
GIVE YOURSELF A HUG Grace Nichols
I RAISED A GREAT HULLABALOO Anonymous
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Anonymous
THERE WAS A YOUNG LAD OF ST. JUST Anonymous
A FISHY THOUGHT Vivian French
MY FOLKS Heidi Fish
BROTHER Mary Ann Hoberman
THE MOON’S THE NORTH WIND’S COOKY Vachel Lindsay
THE MOON Kjartan Poskitt
THE MOONLESS NIGHT Rolli
IF YOU COULD SEE LAUGHTER Mandy Coe
WHERE DOES LAUGHTER BEGIN? John Agard
TOMORROW Steve Turner
MNEMONIC Brian Bilston
THE FIRST BOOK 1st
Open it.
Go ahead, it won’t bite. Well . . . maybe a little.
More a nip, like. A tingle. It’s pleasurable, really.
You see, it keeps on opening. You may fall in.
Sure, it’s hard to get started; remember learning to use
knife and fork? Dig in: you’ll never reach bottom.
It’s not like it’s the end of the world just the world as you think
you know it.
Rita Dove
ALTHOUGH 2 nd
Although I had butterflies in my stomach and ants in my pants and a bee in my bonnet and a flea in my ear I had a whale of a time.
Tony
Langham
A HAPPY KENNING 3 rd
It’s a . . . Face-Quaker, Head-Shaker, Chin-Jiggler, Body-Wriggler, Knee-Slapper, Hand-Flapper, Eye-Mopper, Tantrum-Stopper, Frown-Cheater, Gloom-Beater, Ice-Breaker, Friend-Maker, Mood-Shifter, Spirit-Lifter, Joy-Bringer, Heart-Singer, LAUGH!
THE HAIRY DOG 4 th
My dog’s so furry I’ve not seen His face for years and years: His eyes are buried out of sight, I only guess his ears.
When people ask me for his breed, I do not know or care: He has the beauty of them all Hidden beneath his hair.
Herbert Asquith
MOBILE HOME FOR SALE 5 th
Judy is a delightful Mobile Home with Central Heating a warm Basement superb Penthouse views and includes luxury Deep-Pile Carpets in black and white. Fully Air-Conditioned by large wagging tail. This Border Collie would suit large family of fleas.
Roger Stevens
6 th
I’VE GOT A DOG
I’ve got a dog as thin as a rail, He’s got fleas all over his tail; Every time his tail goes flop, The fleas on the bottom all hop to the top.
Anonymous
7 th
The flea
That is poor at jumping, All the more charming.
Kobayashi Issa, translated by R. H. Blyth
8 th
IT’S RAINING PIGS AND NOODLES
It’s raining pigs and noodles, it’s pouring frogs and hats, chrysanthemums and poodles, bananas, brooms, and cats. Assorted prunes and parrots are dropping from the sky, here comes a bunch of carrots, some hippopotami.
It’s raining pens and pickles, and eggs and silverware. A flood of figs and nickels is falling through the air. I see a swan, a sweater, a clock, a model train I like this so much better than when it’s raining rain.
Jack Prelutsky9 th
OUR HIPPOPOTAMUS
We thought a lively pet to keep might be a hippopotamus. Now see him sitting in a heap and notice, at the bottom, us.
Colin West
NOISE 10 th
Billy is blowing his trumpet; Bertie is banging a tin; Betty is crying for Mummy And Bob has pricked Ben with a pin. Baby is crying out loudly; He’s out on the lawn in his pram. I am the only one silent And I’ve eaten all of the jam.
Anonymous
LEWIS HAS A TRUMPET 11th
A trumpet
A trumpet
Lewis has a trumpet
A bright one that’s yellow
A loud proud horn.
He blows it in the evening
When the moon is newly rising
He blows it when it’s raining
In the cold and misty morn
It honks and it whistles
It roars like a lion
It rumbles like a lion
With a wheezy huffing hum
His parents say it’s awful
Oh really simply awful
But Lewis says he loves it
It’s such a handsome trumpet
And when he’s through with trumpets
He’s going to buy a drum.
Karla Kuskin12 th
BIG DREAMS
The scruffy house cat aches to fly she dreams all day of wings and sky!
So tonight she climbs the ladder, mounts a platform, nothing matters except to catch a thin trapeze then hold on tight with grace and ease. She swings herself by both front paws then somersaults to wild applause
of kitchen mice, who, though dizzy, encourage Cat, to keep her busy.
IF NOT FOR THE CAT 13 th
If not for the cat, And the scarcity of cheese, I could be content.
Jack Prelutsky14 th
MY MOUSE IS RATHER FOND OF CHEESE
My mouse is rather fond of cheese from hereabouts or overseas like cheddars, parmesans and bries in brick or wheel or ball.
He’ll eat ricotta, feta too, plus gorgonzola, gouda, blue, in sandwiches or cheese fondue, my mouse will eat them all.
He’ll have havarti for a snack, a slice or two and then a stack of mozzarella, Swiss and jack, he thinks they’re oh so nice.
But though my mouse and I agree we both enjoy a tasty brie, I’ll miss my mouse because, you see, my cat is fond of mice.
Kenn Nesbitt15 th
SPELL TO BRING A SMILE
Come down Rainbow Rainbow come down
I have a space for you in my small face
If my face is too small for you take a space in my chest
If my chest is too small for you take a space in my belly
If my belly is too small for you then take every part of me
Come down Rainbow Rainbow come down
You can eat me from head to toe
John Agard
LEMONS AND APPLES 16 th
One day I might feel Mean, And squinched up inside, Like a mouth sucking on a Lemon.
The next day I could Feel Whole and happy And right, Like an unbitten apple.
Mary NevilleGIVE YOURSELF A HUG 18 th
Give yourself a hug when you feel unloved
Give yourself a hug when people put on airs to make you feel a bug
Give yourself a hug when everyone seems to give you a cold-shoulder shrug
Give yourself a hug a big big hug
And keep on singing, “Only one in a million like me Only one in a million-billion-thrillion-zillion like me.”
Grace NicholsI’M GLAD 17th
I’m glad the sky is painted blue, And earth is painted green, With such a lot of nice fresh air All sandwiched in between.
Anonymous
