Josephine February 2013

Josephine St. Joseph’s women’s magazine

F ebruary 2013

Shooting for safety

Local woman becomes certified to teach other women to use handguns

More inside: Tips for serving up a romantic meal Strengthen your heart with aerobic activity Have a beautiful face through the years How women can turn the tables on dating

GRAPHICS Rose

This Valentine’s Day, show them 1” 1 10 how much they’re loved.

................ $ 2” 2 ................$15 4”................$20 4

Fancy Heart Hea Candy Hearts

6” 6 ................$25 Love

Every inch over 6” is E an an additional $5. Add a photo for $15. Artwork p is i included in the cost.

SAMPLE ADS SA

Published Valentine’s Day, Thursday, February 14th, 2013

Hearts

By placing a Cupid’s Corner ad, you can tell your spouse, sweetheart, child, grandchild, parent, grandparent, niece or nephew, aunt or uncle, or friend exactly how you feel. They’ll see your ad printed in the St. Joseph News-Press Classifieds on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2013!

Lips

Graphics may vary.

XOXO Diamond

Cupid’s Corner ads are so easy to do!

Simply choose the size of the ad you would like, choose the graphic you want included, and write down your special message. Then bring in this form or mail with payment!

Target

Teddy Bear

Ads must be received by 5 P.M., Friday, February 8th.

Cupid’s Corner 2013

Size I want my ad: _________

Credit card orders may call: (816) 271-8666 or 1-800-779-6397

ORDER FORM

(Photocopies of this form are acceptable and are available at the St. Joseph News-Press, or call (816) 271-8666 or 1-800-779-6397, with your credit or debit card order.)

I would like my ad in Cupid’s Corner to read: ________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ Your Name ________________________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________ City ____________________________________ State ___________ Zip___________________ Home Phone # (

) ____________________

E-mail ____________________________________________________________________________

Amount Enclosed: $

❑ Check enclosed

All ads must be prepaid.

Or please bill my:

❑ MasterCard ❑ VISA ❑ Discover ❑ Am. Express Card #: _________________ 3-Digit CVV Code: ______________ Exp. Date: _________ Signature:_______________________

Choose a graphic:

Cupid

❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑

Rose Fancy Heart Candy Hearts Love Cupid Hearts Lips XOXO Diamond Target Teddy Bear NO GRAPHIC NO PREFERENCE Bring in or mail mail this this completed completed form form with payment payment to: to:

St. Joseph News-Press Classifieds

Attn: Cupid’s Corner

825 Edmond St. Joseph, MO 64501 Or call: call:

(816) 271-8666 or 1-800-779-6397

editorial: (816) 271-8594 toll-free: (800) 779-6397 advertising: (816) 271-8527 fax: (816) 271-8686 josephine@ newspressnow.com

Our staff Editor Jess DeHaven jess.dehaven@newspressnow.com Presentation editor Paul Branson paul.branson@newspressnow.com Photo editor Todd Weddle todd.weddle@newspressnow.com Designer George Stanton george.stanton@newspressnow.com

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| O2/13

Josephine

St. Joseph News-Press P.O. BOX 29 St. Joseph, MO 64502

the regulars editor’s note

4

events calendar

6

the 5

8

average joe

28

getting real

29

meal time

30

inside

Cover photography by Matt Reid/Josephine magazine

cover girl Sonia Callahan and her family recently moved from Alaska to Northwest Missouri. And yes, she actually does know Sarah Palin. Callahan grew up in Wasilla, where the former vice presidential candidate served as mayor. Palin would come play basketball at the gym when Callahan was in middle school. Palin’s daughter, Piper, participated in the same community events Callahan’s kids did.

Northwest Missouri has obviously been a big change from what she’s used to, but it’s been fun, too, she says.

“It’s just neat because coming from Alaska, there’s not a lot of history there, and we’re just immersed in history now and that’s pretty exciting,” she says.

She and her family have plans to visit Lexington, Mo., to see some Civil War sites. Read more about Callahan and her other hobby, gun safety in Erin Wisdom’s story on page 16.

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| Josephine magazine |

February 2013

Cooking with love Tips for serving up a romantic meal

10

Take it to heart Strengthen your ticker with aerobic activity

12

What lies beneath Getting the right fit for your undergarments is important

14

Shooting for safety Local woman becomes certified to teach other women to use handguns

16

Looking good Have a beautiful face through the decades

20

Be my Valentine How women can turn the tables on dating

22

On the right tact Speak your mind without coming off as rude

24

Go out go-to For date nights or girls nights, these simple tips will help you look great without breaking the bank

26

3

editor’s note

By JESS DEHAVEN We’re in the dead of winter, so thank goodness we have a holiday like Valentine’s Day to brighten things up a bit. Even if you’re not in a relationship, the day is a great excuse to enjoy a little chocolate, indulge in a special meal and stop and smell the flowers (even if they’re not on your desk).

If your plans for the holiday include a special home-cooked meal, we have some ideas for your menu. Lisa Horn talked with some local gourmets, and they shared a few recipes that are sure to make someone feel special. Turn to page 10 for that.

If there’s someone you’d like to spend Valentine’s Day with but aren’t yet dating, why not be the one to make the initial approach? We had our Andrew Gaug investigate the best ways for a woman to do the asking out. You can find his tips on page 22.

And with all this talk of hearts, now seems like a good time to remind you how important it is to keep your ticker healthy. Heart disease is the leading cause of death in women, and there are some things you can do to keep yourself from becoming part of the statistic. Jennifer Gordon rounded up exercise tips from the experts to keep your heart in top shape. Check out page 12 for more.

YOUR DREAM IS OUT THERE. GO GET IT. WE’LL PROTECT IT.

Lee Butler Agency 2721 Pembroke Ln. (816) 279-7770 leebutleragency.com

Dave R. Price, Agent 910 N. Woodbine Rd. (816) 233-5632 davepriceagency.com

Cari Rich, Agent 102 E. Clay Ave. Plattsburg, Missouri (816) 539-3751 caririch.com

Tom C. Lemmon, Agent 2524 Saint Joseph Ave. (816) 279-2606 tlemmon@amfam.com

Stephen D. Lorenz, Agent 1109 N. 26th St. (816) 901-9200 stephendlorenz.com

Rick Hopp Agency 3201 Ashland Ave. Ste. E (816) 364-1798 rickhopp.com

Chuck Thorburn Agency, Inc.

125 S. 5th St. Savannah, MO (816) 324-3939

Matt Thrasher Agency, Inc. 301 Illinois Ave. (816) 238-1121 mattthrasher.com

Carolyn Sampson Agency 6120 King Hill Ave. (816) 238-5201 csampsoninsurance.com

Scott Wineinger Agency 1805 Oak Ridge Circle (816) 233-5659 scottwineinger.com

Auto, Home, Business, and Life.

All your protection under one roof® amfam.com 1-800-MY AMFAM (692-6326) American Family Mutual Insurance Company and its Subsidiaries American Family Life Insurance Company American Family Insurance Company Product availability varies by state.

©2012 003235 - Rev. 8/12

Every princess needs a knight in shining fur.

800

Pets/Supplies

Protector, confidant, lifelong friend. Help her find the perfect companion in the News-Press Classifieds.

Every moment. Every day. Every way.

To place your ad call 816.271.8666 or build it yourself at newspressnow.com/classifieds.

2013 february area events

SUN

MON

TUE

Every Monday 9:45 a.m. (weighin at 8:30), TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) a non-profit, weight-loss support and education group, East Hills Church of Christ, 3912 Penn St., 232-6858.

Every Tuesday 7:30 p.m. to 8:15 p.m.

Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

5:15 p.m. to 6 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 6711133, $3 a class.

Feb. 4 7 to 9 p.m., St. Joseph Camera Club, Rolling Hills Consolidated Library.

Feb. 11 5:15 p.m., Show Me Women Who Care, St. Joseph Public Library East Hills branch, downstairs theater, 502 N. Woodbine.

For more information, contact Mary George at 262-2461 or show mewomenwhocare@ gmail.com.

Feb. 18 3 p.m. and 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, 1570 Calhoun St., Chillicothe, Mo. Call (660) 707-0097 or e-mail millergloria@ att.net.

6

Feb. 5 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of Cowboys for Christ, Pony Express Saddle and Bridle Club, north of K Highway on County Road 371. Call 238-7503.

Feb. 19 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of ABWA meeting. To find out more and to make reservations, please call Vickie at (816) 244-5648 the Friday before the meeting.

WED

Every Wednesday 7 a.m., Farmer’s market, 3821 Eastridge Village.

7:30 a.m., St. Joseph BNI weekly meeting, Pony Express Museum.

Call 262-9684.

5:15 to 6 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

THUR

FRI

Every Thursday 10:30 a.m., 3 p.m., 4:30 p.m. and 6 p.m., knitting classes, Keeping Good Company, $20 for four weeks, call 364-4799.

Every Friday 5 to 8 p.m., Friday Night Wine Tastings, Smooth Endings Fine Wines, Spirits and Cigars, corner of Belt and Beck, (816) 749-4WINE, $5 per person.

6:45 to 7:30 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

Feb. 21 5:30 p.m., Third Thursday Wine Tasting, Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art. Cost is $10 per person. Call 232-9750.

Feb. 26 10 a.m., Welcome Wagon Social Club of St. Joseph, general meeting, Rolling Hills Library, 1904 N. Belt Highway. For additional information, go to www. stjomowelcomewagon. com.

3 p.m. and 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, 1570 Calhoun St., Chillicothe, Mo. Call (660) 707-0097 or e-mail millergloria@ att.net.

7 p.m., Introductory session to Creighton Model Fertility Awareness and Appreciation, Heartland Medical Plaza. Course is designed to help couples cooperate with their fertility in family planning. Call 232-2258.

February 2013

| Josephine magazine |

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SAT

Every Saturday 7 a.m., Farmer’s market, 3821 Eastridge Village.

9 to 9:45 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

OUR HEARTS CAN’T SURVIVE WITHOUT LOVE OR A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!

Schedule a wellness check with your provider at one of our convenient locations.

ST. JOSEPH LOCATIONS:

Family Medicine Associates 2303 Village Dr. 816-232-6818

North End Health Center 1515 St. Joseph Ave. 816-233-3338

South Side Health Center 5001 Lake Ave. 816-238-7788

Northwest Family Dental 2911 S. Belt Hwy 816-364-6444

King City Clinic

Northwest Behavioral Health Services 2303 Village Dr. 816-232-4417

RAISE (HIV/Aids Program) 2303 Village Dr. 816-233-3699

H.O.M.E. Unit

(Homeless Outreach Medical Express) 904 S. 10th St. 816-233-5188

RURAL LOCATIONS:

660-535-4347

Mound City Clinic 660-442-5464

Hamilton Medical Clinic

Oregon Clinic

Northwest Pharmacy Services

Savannah Medical Clinic

816-583-2881 (Hamilton)

Dental Clinic

816-583-2151

Braymer Clinic 660-645-2218

Cainsville Medical Clinic

660-446-3307 816-324-3121

816-324-5644 (Savannah)

Mound City Dental Clinic 660-442-5507

660-893-5750

Dedicated to Quality Healthcare, Available to ALL

Now Accepting New Patients www.nwhealth-services.org

We accept Medicaid, Medicare, most private insurance and offer a discount program for those who qualify.

The

5

tips for life

Deep thoughts What is he thinking? Our Andrew Gaug has been keeping this to himself: There’s something to be said for silence. For men, it’s always a constant battle between surrounding yourself with noise, be it in the weight room or lounging at home, and letting yourself soak in your thoughts. We’re often scared of the latter, willing to brush off our thoughts as normal and having no need to take our time to filter and dissect them.

But if you take that time, through exercise or meditation, you can reveal some pretty interesting things that will help make you a better person entering into this new year. The key is to allow yourself to open up to new things in order to find yourself. Turn off the radio or iPod and focus on what’s going on in your life. You may tell yourself that it’s silly and not worth it, but if the old ways aren’t working, new ones have to take the place of them. It’s an important step to make and one that separates men from boys.

Go coconuts

Health. A growing trend from the past year is discovering the benefits of coconut oil. Once thought to be unhealthy because of its high saturated fat content, health and wellness professionals and homemakers alike now are singing its praises because of its versatility in making natural home remedies. Aside from its moisturizing properties, coconut oil can be used to ease itchy bug bites, fade age spots, take the sting out of sunburn and more. When ingested, it is thought to aid digestion, relieve migraines and increase energy levels. As if that wasn’t enough, it can help out in tricky situations like getting gum out of hair and oiling squeaky door hinges. Check out these uses and many more at www.deliciousobsessions.com. Keep in mind, though, that not all home remedies are guaranteed to be 100 percent effective or safe. When in doubt, contact your physician or dietician for more information.

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February 2013

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Get your rewards Money. Though $48 billion in rewards are issued annually from credit card companies, some $16 billion goes unused each year according to money-saving expert Andrea Woroch.

Don’t become part of that statistic.

Redeem those rewards collected by swiping your plastic for discretionary spending instead of adding more to your balance. Consider redeeming for gift cards that you can apply to your various daily spending needs.

Within the boundaries

Hanging out

Relate. Every relationship needs boundaries, and it’s especially important to set them in a marriage, says Redbook magazine. At some point in the marriage, a couple needs to sit down to discuss infidelity. Does catching up with an ex on Facebook constitute cheating?

What if you’re just Facebook friends? What about watching erotic videos? Both people should know, to avoid future conflict.

Organize. Short on space for home-office odds and ends, or outerwear or ... well, anything? Here’s an easy and inexpensive solution: Hang metal pails from the hooks on a coat rack attached to a wall, then fill the pails with whatever your heart desires. This also would be a simple project to customize with paint or other craft supplies.

Too much turkey?

Not enough energy ?

Lack of energy, gaining weight, or low libido?

We can help! Call Today!

4906 Frederick Ave. • 816-233-3700 www.covenantprimarycare.com

Cooking with love Tips for serving up a romantic meal

By LISA HORN Josephine magazine

T

here’s more to setting the mood for a romantic dinner at home than just candles and Michael Bublé.

“Keep it simple and stressless,” says Pat McNaughton, owner and operator of

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February 2013

The Gothic House in St. Joseph. “I think people get so off cooking because they think it has to be so regimented,” she says. “Just go by taste.”

And she adds, “Pay more attention to what you’re wearing than what you’re serving.”

A trial run, especially when trying a new recipe, always helps too, says Michelle Nelson, personal chef and owner of La Mere Michelle in St. Joseph.

“Try your recipe, then learn as you do it,” she says.

| Josephine magazine |

Quality ingredients and the time involved also can show how much you care.

“If it’s truly homemade, I think that’s what makes these events special,” says Sheryl Warren, owner and chef of Seasons on the Square in Gallatin, Mo. “You’re putting the time into it.”

Candles, check. Dressed to impress, check. Now for some tried-and-true recipes, which local chefs Nelson, McNaughton and Warren have shared below.

Choose from three entrées, a simple side and a romantic dessert to top it all off.

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Pork Filet with Goat Cheese and Root Vegetables with Balsamic Sauce 1 small rutabaga, diced 1 medium-size carrot, diced Fresh thyme Salt and pepper to taste Filets of pork cut like medallions (About 1 inch thick — about three per person) 2 tablespoons of butter 1 tablespoon of olive oil 4 ounces of butter, cut in pieces 4 shallots, finely diced 5 tablespoon of old balsamic vinegar (10 years old is better) 3/4 cup of red wine 1/2 cup of beef bouillon 4 to 6 ounces of goat cheese (12 pieces of 1/3 ounce each) Dice the vegetables small, cook them in water and drain, then add the thyme and keep warm. In a frying pan, sear the pork medallions in the butter and olive oil at medium heat for two minutes per side. Keep warm in a plate in the oven. To make the sauce, add a piece of butter in your frying pan, then add the shallots and stir until golden brown. Deglaze with the balsamic vinegar and the red wine. Add the beef broth and reduce by half. Taste, add salt and pepper as desired and add another piece of butter. Reserve.

Add the pieces of goat cheese over the pork and slide under the broiler until the cheese starts to melt. In the center of each plate (hot plates are even better), spread the vegetable mixture and add the pork medallions over the vegetables. Finally, add the sauce. Serves four people.

Note: If you don’t have old balsamic vinegar, you can reduce regular balsamic in a saucepan with a bit of sugar until it thickens slightly.

— Michelle Nelson, La Mere Michelle, St. Joseph

Sun-Dried Tomato Stuffed Chicken Breasts 4 boneless skinless chicken breast halves, pounded flat 1 tablespoon olive oil 4 fresh basil leaves Use the oil to coat one side of each flattened chicken breast. Place one basil leaf on the oil-coated side of each breast.

Parboil vegetables in pot for less than a minute (can parboil in water or chicken broth).

Set pan to medium high or electric skillet to 300 to 325 degrees and melt butter. Add white wine and soup mix to butter. Drain vegetables and add to pan, turning evenly to coat vegetables. Add salt and pepper to taste.

— Pat McNaughton, The Gothic House, St. Joseph

“It’s an old recipe and it’s a good one,” McNaughton says. “This was my first foray into beef Burgundy, and I’m still using it.”

3 tablespoons butter Small onion, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch wedges 1 pound lean beef (round steak, rump roast), cut into finger-width strips Flour (for dredging beef) 8-ounce package of sliced mushrooms 1/2 cup red burgundy wine, red sweet wine or masala wine 1 teaspoon of minced garlic 3/4 to 2 cups beef broth 2 tablespoons ketchup 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce Couple drops of Kitchen Bouquet Set oven to 325 degrees. Heat pan (set to medium high) or electric skillet (set to 300 to 350 degrees). Sauté butter, and add sliced onions. While onions are cooking, flour beef.

Move onions to side or remove and brown beef in butter.

Add mushrooms and garlic to pan. If onions were removed, add back to the pan. Add wine to the mixture, followed by beef broth, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce and Kitchen Bouquet.

Turn pan to low simmer, stirring often. If liquid cooks down, add more broth and wine. Bring to boil and place all contents into casserole dish and place in oven for one hour.

Serve with rice or mashed potatoes.

— Pat McNaughton, The Gothic House, St. Joseph

fully roll the breasts, enclosing the basil leaf and filling. Secure with toothpicks, if needed.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place chicken seam-side down in baking dish. Drizzle with 1 tablespoon olive oil and bake, covered with foil, until chicken is no longer pink.

Serving suggestion: Serve over a nest of angel hair pasta, topped with a mixture of any remaining sundried tomatoes, drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle with plenty of Asiago cheese.

— Sheryl Warren, Seasons on the Square, Gallatin, Mo.

In a small bowl, combine: 1⁄2 cup sundried tomatoes, drained and chopped 4 ounces mozzarella cheese, shredded or small cubes Salt and pepper to taste 1/3 teaspoon rosemary 1/3 teaspoon oregano Asiago cheese Spoon equal amounts of tomato/cheese filling on top of the basil leaf side of each breast. Care-

Golden Onion Vegetables 1 steamable package of Prince Edward blend vegetables — baby carrots, wax beans, green beans (or whatever blend you prefer) 3 tablespoons butter 3 tablespoons Lipton’s Golden Onion soup mix 1/4 cup white wine Salt, pepper to taste

Boeuf (Beef) Burgundy

Crème Brulee Heat until hot, but not boiling: 2 cups whipping cream Meanwhile, beat and mix: 4 large eggs 1/2 cup sugar Temper eggs by ladling a small amount of the hot cream into beaten eggs and sugar and whisk to combine. Add the rest of cream and quickly whisk.

Then, add: 2 teaspoons vanilla 1/8 teaspoon salt Strain through a fine sieve into a large, liquid measuring cup. Place the custard cups or dish in a shallow pan. Pour the custard evenly among baking dishes. Place in oven.

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| Josephine magazine |

Add hot water to surround each dish.

Turn the heat to 250 degrees and bake for approximately 1½ hours. (They should tremble slightly when shaken). Carefully take baking dishes out of water bath to cool. Cool for 30 minutes on cooling rack. Cover with plastic and chill for at least two hours or until served.

Before serving, blot with a paper towel to ensure tops are dry, and then sprinkle granulated sugar over each custard. Caramelize by holding the flame over the sugar and moving the torch (or grill lighter) in circular motion around the surface of each custard dish until sugar bubbles or turns amber. Can be served with or without fresh berries.

— Sheryl Warren, owner and chef of Seasons on the Square, Gallatin, Mo.

February 2013

11

Take it to heart ‌ trengthen your ticker S with aerobic activity‌

T

his year, celebrate American Heart Month by giving your heart what it needs: good exercise. “The best thing for heart health is anything cardio, anything that gets the heart rate up,” says Dr. Jane Schwabe, a cardiovascular surgeon for Heartland Health.

In 2011, only 46.7 percent of women in Buchanan County did any physical activity in the past month, down from 82.1 percent of women in 2001, according to information collected in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Behavior Risk Factor Surveillance System.

The data makes heart health especially important; the CDC reports heart disease is the leading cause of death in women and in men.

Those who are older or who are out of shape can do a walking program to get started.

Younger women should aim for an activity like walking, swimming or Zumba.

The goal is to get women to do thirty minutes of cardiovasuclar activity at least four times a week if not every day.

If you haven’t exercised for a while, both Schwabe and Kelly Carson, a personal trainer for Anytime Fitness in St. Joseph, recommend starting slow.

Start with five-minute periods of walking and increase pace and time from there.

Carson says swimming is a good exercise for people who haven’t exercised for a while, too, because it’s easy on the joints and knees. She recommends novice exercisers put a 20-minute limit on their first workouts so they don’t overdo it.

The body has obvious physical indicators that it’s been pushed too far.

Exercisers should be able to carry on a conversation while they work out.

If they’re gasping for air, that’s a sign they need to scale it back.

“Generally I would say if someone feels like they’re getting light-headed and dizzy, slow down,” Carson says.

Your pulse also is a good measure of how hard you’re working, and moni-

toring it can keep you from pushing yourself too hard. A person’s maximum heart rate is 220 minus their age.

The American Heart Association recommends exercisers stay within 50 to 85 percent of their maximum heart rate. For 30-year-olds, that range is 95 to 162 beats per minute. For a 40-yearold, it drops to 90 to 153 beats per minute.

Most exercise machines have sensors where you can track the heart rate, or you can invest in your own heart rate monitor.

If you’re a person who finds it hard

to stay motivated to exercise, Schwabe recommends registering for an exercise class.

“Sometimes those are helpful because you’ve got people there who will notice when you’re not there, and usually you’ve had to pay for something. If you pay for something, you don’t really want to pay for nothing,” she said.

In addition to the benefits to your heart, research has shown that physical activity increases energy and mental wellness as well as improves the body’s immune system.

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By JENNIFER GORDON

What lies beneath

Getting the right fit for your undergarments is important

By CHRISTINA HAZELWOOD HECKMAN Josephine magazine

D

o you frequently adjust your bra?

Does it fit tight?

Does your band ride up your back?

Do your straps slide off or leave ridges on your shoulders?

Do your cups look less than smooth?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. According to several international studies, more than 80 percent of women wear the wrong bra size.

“Bras seem like such a simple thing, but they can make or break a woman and her posture,” says Dr. Crystal Green of Green Family Chiropractic. “A lot of the bras made are for ‘show’ and not for support. All the pretty designs are fun but not functional.”

Wearing the wrong bra can be uncomfortable, unflattering and unhealthy.

The pain a woman can experience from wearing ill-fitting bras can be extreme.

It can put pressure on your straps causing chronic tightness or debilitating upper back pain.

“Many women wear bras that aren’t big enough,” Green says. “If you are ‘popping out’ or have pressure on your back or sides from the elastic, it can cause problems over time. Having constant pressure in that area can cause scar tissue. This can happen also with cup size not being correct and having underwires. A wide-strapped, sup-

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February 2013

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portive bra that sits right under the shoulder blades is what you want. You don’t want a bra that rides up over your shoulders, because it allows your breasts to fall in the front. You want to keep the front up and the back down.

A lot of women that have a bigger bust try to fit into bras that don’t fit properly. It is important that they get what they need.”

Women often wear bras with too large a band size and too small a cup size, according to brasize.com. In such cases, the breasts are supported by the straps, causing unnecessary pressure on the shoulders.

“I sometimes see shoulder pain, because an older bra can wear out and pull down on the shoulders,” says Dr. Robert Grimm of Grimm Chiropractic. “When women go out and get a new bra, it feels much better to them.

Larger-chested women also can have mid-back and neck pain. They go hand in hand. As the chest pulls forward, it changes the mechanics of the back.

It causes the vertebrate to compress which causes the pain.”

“Superwoman Syndrome,” a pamphlet written by Dr. Grimm, describes how each woman is different and should accept her body style.

“Women are fed a bill of goods and think they need to look a certain way, because Cosmopolitan says they need to,” Grimm says. “Every body build is different. It boils down to physics, gravity and your body style.”

Many factors affect your bra size, including weight or hormonal changes such as pregnancy, breast-feeding, menstruation and the use of birth control pills. It’s important to adjust accordingly and wear the right size, because a good bra can improve the way you look and feel.

“It’s difficult to find a bra that fits correctly and feels good,” says Ashley Kempt of St. Joseph. “Oftentimes, since I can’t readily find my size in department stores or places like Victoria’s Secret, I resign myself to buying a cup size smaller with a size larger band. It isn’t the same.

“Many bra ‘specialists’ try to convince you that it’s a good compromise, but often they are simply trying to make a sale. Typically, bras in my size are very supportive but lack in color selection and are usually much more expensive,” she says. “Also, larger sizes often include minimizing features. Unfortunately, minimizing bras can break down breast tissue over time and cause breasts to lose support, something that no woman wants. I’m envious of the choices that smaller sizes have. If you wear larger than a C cup, you don’t have

Common issues with sizing Your bra is too big if:

❯ It rides up in back. (Band size is too big.

Try hooking your bra on a tighter setting and loosening the straps. If this doesn’t help, buy a bra with a smaller band size. ❯ The cups wrinkle. (Cup size is too big.) ❯ Your bustline sags. (Straps may be too loose, or try non-stretch fabric.) ❯ There is too much bounce when moving normally: walking, bending, etc. (Cup and/or band size is too big. Try nonstretch straps and/or fabric.) ❯ The straps are adjusted correctly and put pressure on your shoulders. (Your support should come from the band, so your band size is too large.)

Your bra is too small if:

❯ The band digs in. (Band size is too small or needs to be wider.) ❯ Underwires poke or pinch. (Cup size is too small, or try a wire-free style.) ❯ Cups overflow. (Cup and/or band size is too small.) ❯ Sides bulge. (Band size is too small, or select a style with more coverage. To easily discover this sign, put on a very tight, lightly colored T-shirt while wearing your bra. If you see any bulges on the side or over the top of the cups, the cup size is too small.) ❯ The center front of the bra does not lie flat against your breastbone. (Try a larger cup size.) ❯ You can’t slip two fingers beneath the band.

Before changing bra sizes, try tightening the hook and eye closure or tightening the straps if adjustable.

Sources: onehanesplace.com and brasize.com

the same pretty and sexy options.”

The lack of pretty options is just one obstacle women with larger chests face. According to ehow.com, there is no industry-based standard on cup size higher than D, so sizes can vary between brands, making bra shopping quite a chore.

“Women let the media and the look of the bra sell them on the bra,” says Angela Maxwell, Dillard’s area sales manager. “You shouldn’t pay attention to

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| Josephine magazine |

whether the bra is pretty or not. It’s the fit and comfort that a woman should be concerned about. Get what fits. It’s like a shoe. You know when you put it on if it fits and it’s the right one.

“A bra is supposed to lift and support you,” she says. “The biggest mistake women make when buying a bra is getting the band size too big and the cup size too small. You should look for a snug band.”

Maxwell says when you raise your arms, your band should stay put, and your breast tissue shouldn’t come out underneath. When you press on the top of the wire that comes up under your arm, you should touch the ribcage and not breast tissue. The bridge of the bra should lay f lat to the breast bone, giving you two separate breasts. The straps should be loose enough that you can easily slide a thumb underneath from front to back. There are varying types of breast tissue, so if the cup is too wrinkled, you may need another style. Every woman should get professionally fitted by a certified bra fitter at least once a year, she says.

The majority of women who have been fitted for a bra probably have been to a department store or well-known lingerie retailer. Most stores take two measurements; under the bust to get the back size and then over the fullest part of the bust to calculate the cup size. These stores use a formula which adds about four inches to the underbust measurement. The difference between this inf lated size and the bust measurement is then used to calculate the cup size. An article at suite101.com states that a correctly fitting bra should start with the actual back size then increase the cup size to fit. This is why it’s so important to have a bra fitted, not just measured.

“I had a bra fitting,” Kempt says.

“The bra fitter was very helpful. I had fears that the process would be awkward and uncomfortable, but it was very easy. All measurements were done fully clothed. The fitter brought me some selections to try and then examined the bra on to check for gaps in the cup and underarm.

“I would recommend that large-chested women seek bra fittings in department stores that carry large sizes in order to get an accurate fitting,” she says.

The bra sizing system is supposed to be universal, but sizes can vary slightly from brand to brand. Take time to try on bras before buying. Also try experimenting with different brands to find the most comfortable for you. Finding a bra that feels good and makes you look your best is a great reward.

February 2013

15

Sonia Callahan, left, talks with fellow trainer Bill Bravo, right, and a participant at a handgun safety workshop in Fairfax, Mo. Matt Reid | Josephine magazine

16

February 2013

| Josephine magazine |

newspressnow.com/josephine

Shooting for safety Story starts on page 18 news-

17

Local woman becomes certified to teach other women to use handguns

B

By ERIN WISDOM St. Joseph News-Press

Before last September, stay-at-home mom Sonia Callahan had never fired a gun. Now, she not only has shooting experience but also is licensed to teach handgun safety. Callahan notes that all this was spurred by a desire to be able to defend herself and her three children, if necessary, while her husband is away for several months this year. For this purpose, she wanted a gun — but not before she was prepared for one.

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“I would not allow a gun in the house before I knew how to handle it and be safe with it,” adds Ms. Callahan, whose family moved to St. Joseph from Alaska in 2010 for a climate change. “Now, I feel comfortable with that. I know how to keep it safe; I know how to use it. It wouldn’t be just another tool for the bad guys coming in.”

Callahan attended a gun safety course at Camp Geiger last September facilitated by Shawn Harper, a corrections officer with the Missouri Department of Corrections and the leader of the Sharper CCW (concealed carry weapon) Team. While she anticipated being the only woman in class, she was pleasantly surprised to find plenty of women in attendance. She also was surprised when Harper approached her after the class about becoming certified as an instructor on gun safety.

“Sonia had never fired a handgun before in her life, but she showed incredible aptitude. She was one of the best students I’d ever seen,” Harper says, adding that he also asked two other women in that class to become instructors in order to have a total of three to assist the growing number of women who attend his classes. “I realized female students could be quite intimidated by the environment, and having female instructors could put them at ease.”

Each eight-hour handgun safety/concealed carry qualification class consists mainly of classroom time focused on topics such as concealed carry permit requirements and gun safety guidelines.

The final hour is a live-fire session in which each student works one-on-one with an instructor.

The next course will take place March 23 at Camp Geiger and is open to Missouri and Kansas residents at a cost of $75 per person, which must be paid in advance.

Guns and ammunition are provided. For more information or to register, call (816) 287-0505.

Harper recommends registering early, as he’s finding the courses fill up fast — especially in the wake of the rash of mass shootings the nation saw last year — and are becoming increasingly popular among women. At his last course, which took place in

January, women accounted for 60 percent of the more than 80 people in attendance.

“A gun is an equalizer if you’re 120 pounds against a 250-pound maniac,” he notes. “Women often don’t own a gun yet, and they’re smart enough to get training before they buy one. I applaud them for that.”

For her part, Callahan is glad to be able to teach beginners from the perspective of someone who isn’t too far from beginner status herself — and to be better able to protect her 10-year-old son and 8and 2-year-old daughters.

“The older two think it’s neat,” she says concerning her status as a gun safety instructor. “Of course, all I’m teaching them now are the basics of gun safety and that if they see a gun, they need to leave it alone. But I’m glad they won’t grow up ignorant of guns like I did.”

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Looking good Have a beautiful face through the decades

By CRYSTAL K. WIEBE Josephine magazine

W

ant a more youthful complexion?

Treat your skin and body right.

Three years ago, Sandra Francis gave up, among other things, a basic cosmetic product many women consider essential.

“I have never worn a heavy foundation.

For years it was Clinique’s Almost Makeup, which is very light and thin,” she says. “But when I started using our soap, my skin appeared very clean and fresh, and I just didn’t want to cover it up.”

“Our soap” is Nutressant, a brand of organic personal care and household products that Francis and her husband John make at their Mission, Kan., home and sell at farmers’ markets throughout the Kansas City area.

The Nutressant line doesn’t include any cosmetics, but Francis believes organic moisturizers, soaps, lip balms and lotions can be key to achieving a more youthful look any time of your life – and the effects can be felt at any age. She’s in her 60s.

“I tell women that the sooner they start using organic body products, the better their skin will look,” she says. “We buy products to make us look better, but we need to buy products that will make us look healthier. Organic skincare products will actually be absorbed on a cellular level and protect against aging and the need for unnecessary makeup.”

Nonorganic products can be absorbed into your skin, as well. That’s the other reason Francis simply wears fewer cosmetics these days.

“The makeup I wear today is based on the least amount of chemicals and the company’s willingness to disclose it,” she says. She’s a big fan of the brand SMASHBOX. Strictly organic lipstick, eye shadow and most other cosmetics are hard to 20

February 2013

come by, but Kansas City lifestyle blogger Kat Mansur recommends watching out for the following ingredients: parabens, Polyethylene glycol (also known as PEG,) synthetic colors and fragrances.

Mansur, whose blog is called Everyday Chic Style (www.everydaychicstyle.blog spot.com), also advises women to start healthy habits as early in life as possible.

The 24-year-old concedes that life can be erratic at her age, but eating right, including fruits high in antioxidants, can help keep skin glowing for decades.

Ashley Bransfield agrees.

“I believe how you take care of your body internally is just as important as externally. Drink plenty of water, take your vitamins, use your sunscreen and get lots of sleep!” says the 33-year-old aesthetician and make-up artist at Rosie Cheeked in St. Joseph.

| Josephine magazine |

However, no matter how well we care for our bodies and how many chemicals we manage to avoid, our age will show eventually.

That’s when strategic makeup application really can make a difference.

Bransfield suggests contouring and shadowing — using darker shades on the areas you want to minimize and lighter shades on the areas you want to be noticed.

This can involve various colors of many different products — foundation, concealer, powder, blush and bronzer, plus makeup brushes and patience.

Francis prefers a lower-maintenance approach.

“If you’re at the point where you want to look younger, it’s time to wear less makeup and lighter makeup,” she says.

Or at least make yourself up to appear that way.

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Here are some of makeup artist Bransfield’s tips for minimizing the effects of aging.

Problem area: A saggy eyelid.

Trick: Use your darkest color on the saggiest part of your lid. Use a lighter shade around that area all the way up to the brow bone. This will draw your attention away from droopy eyelid.

Problem area: Loss of elasticity in the neck.

Trick: Use a darker foundation on your neck than your face. This will shadow your neck from the rest of your face, giving the illusion that it is slimmer.

Beauty tips for all ages A guide from Everyday Chic Style blogger Kathryn Mansur

For Your 20s:

❯ Have fun! Experiment in style: Get inspired from trends in beauty and learn how to re-create the look that best accents your features. An easy way to go bold is with your lips and nails. This is a great age to play with lipstick and nail polish, but keep everything else neutral. ❯ Show off your skin: Go light on foundations and try a BB cream and loose mineral powder to set your face and keep skin healthy, breakout-free and natural. Plus, always look for products that contain sunscreen to protect the skin at all times. Just because the sun isn’t shining doesn’t mean you can’t damage the skin! ❯ Prevention is key: Learn to take care of skin on a regular basis. Instead of fighting wrinkles in your later years, prevent skin damage and signs of aging by always washing off makeup. Another great method is to exfoliate the skin once per week to remove dead skin cells and revitalize the skin.

For your 30s:

❯ Wrinkles and signs of aging may start to form, but instead of focusing on hiding them by adding layers and layers of products, you should accent them in the best possible way.

One way to keep skin looking youthful is with an illuminating tinted moisturizer. This special moisturizer keeps skin glowing, moisturized throughout the day and offers a shimmery highlight that reflects light – making wrinkles appear less visible. ❯ It’s all in the eyes: Focus on the eyes.

One way to put your best face forward is by

playing up the eyes. Whereas bold lips can For your 40s and 50s: instantly add age, a smoky eye will play up ❯ Nighttime necessities: Now more than ever your best features and draw attention away is the time to implement regular nighttime from any flaws. Keep the rest of the face natskincare regimens to keep problems at bay. ural with a creamy foundation for coverage, Retinoid products are best applied at night soft bronzer for accenting and a light pink or and help reduce brown spots, increase nude lip for a sophisticated look. exfoliation and collagen production. Plus, ❯ Treat yourself (and your skin) to regular retinoid can thicken the skin’s epidermis, facials: Although it may seem a bit frivolous, which can help defend against aging from this is the best time in your life to enjoy regusun damage. lar facials. This is because your skin is start❯ Prime on: This is a great time to invest in a ing to slow its ability to regenerate and, as daily skin primer that fills in any deep wrina result, will build more dead skin cells than kles and grooves to smooth the skin. Apply a before. For budget-friendly facial alternatives lighter foundation after applying primer for an that can be done at-home, there are several even finish. cleansing systems that can clean pores and ❯ Keep it simple – eyes, cheeks, lips: Leave the skin’s surface, such as microdermabrathe shimmery shadows behind. Now is the sion spin brushes. time to embrace your natural beauty by ❯ Listen up! Be gentle: The harder you scrub, highlighting your best accents with subtle the more damage you will cause. Although makeup. Switch to a light cream blush and you would assume that scrubs may better apply to the apple of your cheeks for a youthclean the skin, this is not always true. Instead ful glow. For the eyes, soft eye shadows that of heavy scrubs with grainy textures, switch complement your eye color are your best bet. to a lighter gentle cleanser to protect and To draw attention away from eyelid wrinkles, cleanse the skin without stripping away add volumizing mascara for full lashes. For natural oils. For scrubs with microdermabrafuller lips, use a lip liner that matches the sion beads, always make sure that the beads pinkest center of your natural lips with a coat are perfectly round. Those with jagged edges of sheer gloss. actually can damage the skin.

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Be my Valentine

22

February 2013

| Josephine magazine |

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How women can turn the tables on dating

By ANDREW GAUG Josephine magazine

W

hen it comes to finding a date, whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any other day after, there’s no need for women to wait for the right guy. You can go for them.

The stigma of women asking men out is one still prevalent in our society, despite the shift of cultural and gender norms.

Artists like Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj, Adele and Kelly Clarkson encourage women to be strong in the face of opposition and think of men as jerks, but fail to breach the topic of understanding and approaching males.

The secret: Many men would love to be approached to go out on a date, instead of them doing all of the asking.

Sitting at the mall on a recent Friday, Bradley Farmer, a college student from Maryville, Mo., waits for his friends.

With his hair close-cropped and wearing the standard male clothing — flannel jacket, jeans and Nikes — he looks like your typical single college student.

His problem: he’s shy. He doesn’t go to bars (“Nothing good ever comes out of a bar,” he says), so social events are limited for him. He’s been approached by women but has trouble figuring out how to react.

“I clam up. I’m not very confident, and I figure if they’re approaching, they must have a ton of that,” he says.

Farmer does admit that he enjoys being approached by women and would like for it to happen more often.

“I don’t mean to sound lazy, but it’s cool to have a woman ask you out and not have to make the first move all the time,” he says, laughing. “I think that says a lot about a woman and what she’s about.”

As does Dewayne Engel, a 30-year-old St. Joseph native.

“It’s a confidence thing both ways.

If I approach you, you’ll see what I’m doing and what I’m looking for and what I have to offer. If she’s coming up — ‘Whoa,’” he says, with an extended laugh. “Like that shows either how attractive you are for her to break that barrier or how she just doesn’t care about what society says.”

Since it’s not exactly seen as a regular “The farthest we go with asking a thing for a woman to ask a guy out, the guy out is just giving them the idea that art of doing so is not exactly perfect. we want to talk to them — a wave or In his own pre-dating endeavors, something like that. They need to show Engel says he often does “peacocking,” initiative enough to take that as a sign,” a term popularized by famous pickup she says. artist Mystery. It involves wearing I ask Palmer what she would do if something unusual or different to she were to ask a guy out. She says: Be attract someone’s attention, similar to direct. a peacock using its feathers to attract a “Just tell him you noticed him or you mate. liked his style and get the conversation In doing so, Engel says it attracts going. Even if you’re not that brave, women over to him and gets them to pretend you are. You’ll be surprised,” initiate conversation. she says.

“I like it when a woman just walks Start the conversation by saying over and says ‘Hey, I like something that stood your hat’ or ‘Those are out — from something some fresh shoes.’ Somethat may seem silly thing to use as a jump-off like complimenting because if a woman comes their teeth to talking in too hot, then I get susabout a team or artist picious of their personalithat they may be ty,” Engel says. wearing on their shirt Jeff Morris, 25, agrees. or hat.

Despite being approached “Just keep it caby women, some he sual and show them describes as very conthat you have similar fident and beautiful, he interests. If it keeps says sometimes it’s just going, then give them addressing the situation your number. If that that helps break the tentakes, ask them out,” sion and add humor. she says.

— GERRY PALMER, “I’ve had women say When I ask other college student at the ‘Listen, I normally don’t guys about this methUniversity of Missouri do this, but...’ and that’s od, they seem to agree a good ice-breaker itself. it’s a sound one.

Guys are going to tend to “Speaking for myself think it’s different and, and guys that I know, maybe not weird, but something unexwe just like the idea of someone thinkpected. Don’t play it up huge, but don’t ing we’re interesting enough to ask out ignore it either,” he says. on a date,” Farmer says. “I wish more Gerry Palmer, a female college stuwomen would know that we’d love to dent at the University of Missouri, says talk to them and that they can feel free the topic comes up among her friends, to ask for a date. I want to tell them: but they usually wait until the guy steps ‘Don’t be afraid!’” up to the plate.

The farthest we go with asking a guy out is just giving them the idea that we want to talk to them — a wave or something like that. They need to show initiative enough to take that as a sign.

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On the right tact

24

February 2013

| Josephine magazine |

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‌ peak your mind S without coming off as rude‌

By Jennifer Hall Josephine magazine

S

aying what’s on your mind is something we are all capable of yet many lack the knowledge to do so graciously. Speaking your mind tactfully is a skill that not everyone has mastered.

Amy Parnell says the key is using the proper tone.

“I was raised that way,” she says.

She was always told that it was perfectly acceptable to speak her mind as long as she used the right tone.

“Some people can come off very abrasive by just their tone,” she says.

It is important to be empathetic, concise and calm.

What is the point of speaking your mind if you are just tearing down the other person. That’s why women, more so than men, tend to struggle with this.

Often times, women will be apologetic and start the conversation with “I’m sorry, but . . .”

If it’s worth saying, just say it, Ms. Parnell says.

“A lot of people just blurt things out without processing it,” she says. “I’ve had to give myself an invisible filter at times. I know what I really want to say, but I have to stop, pause and think before I speak.”

Staying calm, rational and using a kind, yet assertive, voice can make a big difference.

The 34-year-old St. Joseph woman has managed to speak her mind tactfully at home and in her career. As a local Mary Kay future director, Ms. Parnell deals with happy customers, grumpy customers and everything in between. She also has to deal with a 15-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter at home.

“I try to handle both the same way,” she says. “Dealing with customers, it’s one of those things where you really have to talk to people the way you want to be talked to.”

However, there are times where it is instinctive to get your feathers a little

ruffled. It’s at that point when it’s crucial to speak with positive intentions, knowing that not everyone is going to like what you have to say. And guess what? That’s OK. That’s actually the point.

“We’ve become a society of pushovers,” Ms. Parnell says. “And we don’t get what we want. If you don’t say anything, you’re not going to get the results that you want. We should all be able to say what we think.”

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February 2013

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Go out go-to For date nights or girls’ nights, these simple tips will help you look great without breaking the bank

By KRISTEN HARE Josephine magazine

I

add these touches to pretty much anything — jeans and a T-shirt, slacks and a dress shirt or a simple dress, and you’ve got something totally different.

n most of our closets, our outfits file themselves into WORK WITH YOUR BASICS Take a pair of black skinny jeans, Glass a few simple categories: says, and a black blazer, and you can very quickly get a great going-out outfit with work and play. Think few simple touches, like a fun pair of blazers and slacks, dresses and aheels and a great necklace. suits on one side, and jeans, Little black dresses are always a classic tank tops, capris and cardigans (as are little red dresses, little pink dresses, whatever is your favorite.) Change out on the other. But what about of the sweater and heels you wore with it for work into boots and a cropped denim those special nights when it’s jacket, and presto chango — new look. time to go out, maybe for a date, You can mix most any look up, Wallerstedt says, by changing out of your boots maybe with the girls?

How can you look great without dropping big dollars at the mall?

Casey Wallerstedt, owner of Mod Podge, Shelly Lemke, co-owner of Lil Pink Closet, and Ashley Glass, first assistant manager at Maurice’s, all shared some easy ideas that are really about small touches, not big price tags.

ACCESSORIZE

Whatever your occasion, just by adding the right accessories, you can pull pieces from your work side and your play side and get something totally new.

“Accessories are a big thing,” says Lemke.

Think jewelry, she says, scarves, belts, a colorful purse, and you’ve brought a pop to your look.

“If you’re looking for a cheap way to do it, I say try and work with what you’ve got and add to it,” agrees Glass.

Wallerstedt recommends adding a funky belt, colored tights or leggings or some patent leather, too.

The best part of this strategy is you can

into ones with heels, adding funky tights and playing with textures and patterns.

Make sure you have one pair of comfortable heels, Glass recommends, that can look great with a dress or dress up your jeans.

It’s OK to spend a little more on good basics, just make sure they fit great and you feel great in them. And remember, if it’s a classic and a basic, you’re going to wear it again and again. Make sure you love it.

DON’T FORGET YOUR FACE

After a day of work, or a day at home working with the kids or the yard or chores, it’s time to pop up your normal makeup, like your normal outfit.

Wallerstedt loves to play with makeup, and for the evenings, you can’t go wrong with a smoky eye. Or try bare eye and red lips. Either works because they’re something special, different from your normal look.

Wallerstedt also recommends having some fun with your hair. If it’s down, pull it up. If it’s up, wear it down. Add eye-catching bobby pins, she says, or a

flower, a scarf, something special that you wouldn’t wear day-to-day.

Whatever you pick, the right look for your night out isn’t about the perfect dress or heading out for a new outfit, it’s the little touches, like those heels you already have that make your skinny jeans and blazer look into something totally new. See? Work clothes plus play clothes equals night-out clothes. Save your money for buying the next round.

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average joe

I Valentine’s Day around the world Are these customs really stranger than our own?

ALONZO WESTON has been a columnist and reporter for the St. Joseph News-Press staff for more than 20 years. He and his wife, Deanna, have two children and a dog. The St. Joseph native is also a sports junkie who doesn’t pick up after himself. If you’d like to suggest an idea for this column, contact Alonzo at alonzo. weston@newspressnow.com.

28

remember one time at a social function when a young man asked an older man for advice on renewing his marriage vows.

The young man explained that when he first got married there wasn’t enough money for the extravagant wedding he felt his wife deserved. Now that they had enough money, he wanted to do it right.

The old man rubbed his chin and thought a bit before giving an answer. After a long sigh, he said, “Well if it didn’t take the first time no sense in doing it again.”

That’s sort of how I feel about Valentine’s Day. I show my love for my wife in other ways all year round. If all those things don’t take, then what does it matter what I do on Valentine’s Day? Sure I’ll buy my wife flowers or something and take her to dinner, but doing that as a profession of love somehow seems phony and overrated. But Valentine’s Day customs here might be better or at least less strange than how the day is celebrated in other countries.

In Denmark, for example, a man is required to send a poem to a woman he likes. But he doesn’t sign his name. Instead he signs it with a series of dots for each letter in his name. If the woman correctly guesses the suitor’s name, she receives an Easter Egg. No dinner. No flowers.

In old France, unmarried couples used to go into facing houses

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| Josephine magazine |

and call out the window to one another. They’d hook up and if things went south, the woman could make an effigy of the bad lover and throw it into a bonfire.

This went on for a while until the government stepped in and made everyone send each other nice Valentine’s Day cards.

Baptismal and marriage certificates once sufficed as Valentine’s Day cards in old Germany. A marriage certificate makes sense. That should be all the proof of love you need. But a baptismal certificate? That just means you love the faith.

It’s the females who give gifts to the males on Feb. 14 in Korea.

The males give the females their Valentine’s Day gifts a month later.

Italians give each other fortune cookies. It’s not an odd shaped wafer, but instead the note is placed inside a chocolate-covered, hazelnut-flavored bonbon.

In South Africa, women pin the names of their Valentine lovers on their sleeves. Problems arise when they pin the wrong name or have too many names pinned on.

But our Valentine’s Day customs are just as strange. Here we let total strangers tell us how to show our love. And we don’t usually get to see the stranger’s face. It’s usually just a loud, bossy voice on our TV telling us to go to this jewelry store or that jewelry store. Then another demanding voice from beyond comes on and tells us to get flowers from this florist and chocolates from this store.

If we don’t obey, it means we don’t love our wife or girlfriend, so we go stumbling around in places we’d never usually venture and let some salesperson make us feel guilty for buying something within our budget.

For once I’d like to see a TV ad telling women what to buy for their men. Instead of “Oh, he went to Jared” it will be “Oh, she went to Home Depot or Smooth Endings or Fathead.com.”

February 2013

O

ne of the reasons I love Valentine’s Day and romance is kisses. Let me go on record and say I love to pucker up and plant one on my family and friends! (I stopped kissing strangers after the Swine Flu outbreak of ’98.)

A kiss is defined as “to touch with the lips as a sign of love, sexual desire, reverence or greeting.”

I understand the dictionary only has limited space, but I just don’t think they broke it down enough.

For instance, they said nothing about the type of kisses given to me by my golden retriever. There are times I need a bath towel after getting a smooch from her, but those kisses are the sweetest because they are completely unconditional.

They also never mentioned the sloppy kisses that require a swipe of the sleeve across your face after the kiss is complete to remove the leftover saliva.

Then there are open-mouth kisses given by a toddler that leave slobbers mixed with a sticky substance that no one can identify, but it makes the hair on your arms stand up because it was so perfect.

There are butterfly kisses. For these, you lean close to another person and bat your eyes, and your eyelashes are supposed to feel like a butterfly’s wings on their skin.

(Personally, if a butterfly gets that close to me, I usually start swinging and swatting to get it away from me, so I am not a big fan of this type of kiss.)

There are French kisses that were ironically invented by the French. These are also called the “Lovers Kiss.”

There are kisses that are dreaded, like the ones from your drunken uncle with the false teeth that flop

around in his mouth and make clipclop noises so he sounds like a horse on a brick road when he talks.

There are sweet kisses that give you goosebumps, like when your partner sneaks up behind you and kisses you on the neck.

There are Hershey’s kisses. I prefer the ones with almonds.

There are the kisses on your forehead that make you feel safe and loved.

There are “holy kisses,” spoken of in the Bible. We are supposed to greet each other with this type of peck, but the only one who seems to practice this is that one creepy guy at church.

There is your first kiss. These you never forget, even if you never see that person again in your life.

Diva kisses. These require your lips to make a smooching noise near one side of the recipient’s face, then the other, making sure to not make actual contact.

There is the insult kiss, where you tell someone they can plant their lips on your backside.

Then lastly, there is the sacrificial kiss. Let me give an example of this love-motivated kiss.

Recently, my hubby came in to kiss me goodbye before leaving for work. He walked up to the bed where his bride lay sleeping.

He leaned in, expecting to find a plus-sized, redheaded Sleeping Beauty. Instead, as he pulled the blanket back, I arose from the pillow looking like the Loch Ness Monster coming up from the deep.

I had slept wrong, so as I lifted my head, my neck went into a spasm.

This pain caused me to snarl and let out a growl. This released a green fog of morning breath which made us both wonder if the cat had used my mouth for a litter box as I had slept. My grimacing face was still covered in the previous day’s smeared makeup, and my hair had a strange tangled mess on top that gave the impression I was wearing a “hair hat.” But guess what? My honey kissed me anyway.

This made me realize the best kind of kisses are those that are gentle and full of true love, and when it’s finished, your eyes stay closed for a few seconds as you take in all of the sweetness that accompanied it.

That feeling even the dictionary can’t describe.

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| Josephine magazine |

getting real

Defining a kiss There are many different ways to show love STACEY MOLLUS is a family-loving, fun-seeking, glitter-covered, chocolate-consuming humor columnist and author. She would love to hear from you, so e-mail her at queenofchocolates@live.com or find her on Facebook at “Stacey Jensen Mollus.”

February 2013

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meal time

Interpretation is everything While I was living in Paris, a dear friend lived in the lake country outside of London. Knowing that for the first time I would be out of the U.S. for Thanksgiving, she invited me to visit, promising a “real American” holiday so I wouldn’t be homesick.

When I arrived, she had decorated the table with red, white and blue everything!

She was so pleased with herself that I didn’t mention the color scheme wasn’t exactly customary. Then again, her dessert was spot on, if not traditional.

English Snow Cheese 1 2/3 cups heavy cream 2/3 cup superfine sugar 1 lemon, zest and juice 2 egg whites Line a round sieve or cheese mold with damp cheesecloth. Pour cream, sugar, lemon zest and juice in bowl. Whip to firm peaks.

Beat egg whites until stiff, fold into cream mixture. Turn into lined sieve. Leave to drain in refrigerator overnight. Serve on shallow dish with crisp wafer cookies.

When visiting Perugia in Italy, an Italian friend wanted to fix American spaghetti for me. Arriving at her home, I wasn’t sure what “American spaghetti” would be. Especially since she believed that Americans just opened cans and didn’t know how to cook. Her sauce comes from opening cans, and now I also open cans when I want a quick and easy, yet appealingly good, tomato sauce.

Salsa al Pomodoro; good on dried pasta 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil 2 medium-sized garlic cloves, finely chopped 2 1-pound, 12-ounce cans tomatoes, finely chopped 1½ teaspoons dried oregano 1½ teaspoons dried basil Salt and pepper to taste Pinch of crushed red pepper In a wide-bottom saucepan, heat olive oil and add onion, cooking until transparent.

Add garlic, cook about three minutes, then add the rest. Cook over medium-high heat for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

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February 2013

MAT T REID | St. Joseph News- Press

English Snow Cheese with crisp wafer cookies.

And then there were some of my French friends’ interpretation of American food, making fun of the thought of Americans buying croutons, a concept they could not understand. In the vein of using old bread, I made a bread pudding which was enjoyed even by the French.

Gruyere Bread Pudding 2 tablespoons unsalted butter 8 slices country-style day-old bread 4 cups milk 3 large eggs, beaten 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 3/4 cup thinly sliced green onions, including tender green part 1/3 cup chopped fresh tarragon, chervil or parsley or a mixture 3/4 cup grated Gruyere cheese Preheat oven to 375 degrees. With 1 tablespoon of the butter, grease either a 9x12 baking dish or a 10-inch round (soufflé) dish, making sure the sides are 2½ to 3 inches high.

Tear the bread into pieces, put in bowl, cover with milk and soak until soggy, about 10 minutes (make sure the bread is submerged).

Remove bread from milk, squeezing as dry as you can. Add the eggs, salt and pepper to

| Josephine magazine |

milk and blend well.

Scatter 1/3 of bread over the bottom of a baking dish, then sprinkle one half of the green onions, herbs and cheese on top. Then top with half of the remaining bread, then all remaining onions, herbs and cheese. Layer the remaining bread on top. Pour the milk mixture over all, making sure some seeps to the bottom of the dish. Dot the remaining butter over the top.

Bake until puffed and golden and a knife inserted into the center comes out clean, about 35 to 40 minutes.

LONNIE GANDARA TAYLOR is a St. Joseph native who has returned home after a prestigious career in the culinary field. She taught cooking classes in the San Francisco Bay area for years and was a professional assistant to Julia Child, James Beard, Martha Stewart, Simone Beck and Martin Yan, among others. She is a graduate of the Paris Cordon Bleu, the Academie du Vin in Paris and the first culinary class held in the Oriental hotel in Bangkok, as well as being the author of five cookbooks.

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