Josephine January 2011
St. Joseph’s women’s magazine
WHEN LOSING IS A WIN Dropping pounds has changed her life
from the
MOre inSiDe: Don’t take home the stress of work Tips on starting a difficult conversation
Saving SecretS
Not spending money is easier than it sounds
car criSiS
Some tips to help solve common automotive problems
Bare tHOSe arMS Think of it as a tune up for the guns
Happy Healthy New Year !
Healthy Lifestyle Class
Tues., Jan. 11, 5:30-6:30 P.M. & Fri., Jan. 14, 2-3 P.M. • • • •
Presented by Sheri Caldwell, RD, LD, Hy-Vee Store Dietitian Come & learn simple steps to a healthy & balanced lifestyle Recipe tasting Free product samples, recipe cards and coupons valued at $50
Class is Free, but pre-registration is required. Contact Hy-Vee Customer Service to register.
Free Nutrition Store Tours By appointment only! R
Monthly Meeting (St. Joseph Chapter #149) • Monday, January 10, 6-7 P.M. at Word of Life Church Life Center, 3902 NE Riverside Rd., St. Joseph, MO • This is the first official meeting of the local chapter • Free and open to the public • Doug Evans, DO, will be discussing an overview of celiac disease and answering questions
Sheri Caldwell RD, LD Hy-Vee Store Dietitian
• Led by Sheri Caldwell, RD, LD, Hy-Vee Store Dietitian • Learn how to make balanced food choices to enjoy a variety of foods • Receive practical tips for eating right for life • Reserve your space at Hy-Vee Customer Service 816-232-9750
10% Off Sale at the HealthMarket Friday and Saturday, January 7 & 8
Visit all of our wonderful Hy-Vee departments: FLORAL • KITCHEN • ITALIAN • CHINESE • DELICATESSEN PRODUCE • BAKERY • SALAD BAR • DAIRY • FROZEN MEAT & SEAFOOD MARKET• PHARMACY • HEALTHMARKET • WINE & SPIRITS
201 N. Belt Hwy. • 816-232-9750 Follow us on
@ STJOSEPHHYVEE and become a fan on
at facebook.com/stjoehyvee
editorial: (816) 271-8594 toll-free: (800) 779-6397 advertising: (816) 271-8527 fax: (816) 271-8686 josephine@ newspressnow.com
Our staff Editor Jess DeHaven jess.dehaven@newspressnow.com Presentation editor Paul Branson paul.branson@newspressnow.com Photo editor Todd Weddle todd.weddle@newspressnow.com Designer Kevin Krauskopf kevin.krauskopf@newspressnow.com Writers Sylvia Anderson Tamara Clymer Shea Conner Jennifer Gordon Jennifer Hall blake Hannon Kristen Hare Christina Hazelwood Heckman betsy Lee Stacey Mollus Megan Rau Alonzo Weston Erin Wisdom Cathy Woolridge Photography Eric Keith Jessica Stewart
|01/11
Josephine
St. Joseph News-Press P.o. box 29 St. Joseph, Mo 64502
the regulars
editor’s note
4
events calendar
6
the 5
8
average joe
28
getting real
29
meal time
30
inside
cover girl If you’re making a resolution to lose weight in the coming year, Missy Schafer has been in your shoes. In 2010 alone, she has lost 74 pounds. Missy, who has lived in the St. Joseph area all her life, is the youth director at First Presbyterian Church, wife to Jason and mom to Katie, 3, so she has a busy lifestyle. But she hasn’t let that stop her from becoming healthier through exercise and changes in her diet. In addition to spending time with Katie and playing board games with friends, Missy also has taken up cooking as a hobby. “It turns out healthy cooking is exciting,” she says. “It’s fun to make new recipes.” Weight-loss is full, literally, of ups and downs, and Missy says sticking with a healthier lifestyle can be made easier by finding people to lean on. “Find people who will listen to you talk about your diet and who will support you even when it seems like that’s all you’re talking about. That really helped me.” Read more about Missy’s story on Page 16.
newspressnow.com/josephine
| Josephine magazine |
Januar y 2011
The secrets of successful savers Make a plan to put some money back this year
10
Leave work at work You really don’t need to take the stress home
13
Where there’s smoke ... Help for common car crises
14
A fuller life after loss Shedding pounds has been transformative for woman
16
Show Me Healthy Women helps in time of need State program offers free cervical and breast cancer services
20
Breaking bad A few tips to rid of yourself of undesirable habits
22
The right to bare arms You can go from flab to fab
24
Can we talk? Tips to smooth the way if you need to have a difficult talk with your partner
26
3
editor’s note hen I met Missy Schafer at this year’s Josephine Expo, she handed me a photo and told me she had a story she wanted to share with our readers. I wouldn’t have guessed that the woman in the photo, who was significantly overweight, was the same person standing in front of me. This time last year, Missy decided it was time to do something about her weight, so she signed up for Heartland’s Pound Plunge. Through the simple combination of diet and exercise, she’s lost more than 70 pounds — and that’s all in this year. “Eat less, move more� sounds like a simple mantra, but it really is the most effective and inexpensive way for most of us to lose weight. And at this time of year when so many of us are resolving to get fit in the new year, Missy’s story is an inspiration to all of us (myself included) who have been putting off losing those extra pounds. You can check out Missy’s before and after in Erin Wisdom’s story on Page 16. If those extra pounds are under your arms, Cathy Woolridge’s story on Page 24 can help. We’ve talked to fitness folks about how to rid yourself of those dreaded chicken wings.
Don’t Just Block The Glare ...
up to
By Jess Dehaven
Maybe your resolution involves breaking a bad habit (whether it be smoking, biting your nails or any other nuisance behavior)? If so, you’ll want to give Blake Hannon’s story on Page 22 a read. We’ve asked the experts for tips that can be used to break just about any type of bad habit. Or maybe you want this to be the year that you finally save up a little money. Even if you don’t think you have much to spare, Betsy Lee has some tips from super savers that anyone can use to build a nest egg. Check out that story on Page 10. January is also Cervical Health
Cut Through It With Sunglass Polarized Lenses
40
% Off
Awareness Month. According to the American Cancer Society, each year about 12,200 new cases of invasive cervical cancer are diagnosed and about 4,210 women will die from cervical cancer. Routine Pap smears are the best way to catch the disease early and save lives, but many women put them off because they lack insurance to pay for treatment. That’s where the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services’ Show Me Healthy Women initiative comes in. The program offers free diagnostic services and help with the costs of cervical cancer treatment for uninsured or underinsured women. For more information on the program, read Jennifer Gordon’s story on Page 20.
Relax & Lose Weight ... In Our State-Of-The-Art Infrared Sauna SLIMDOME ... Benefits Include: - Weight Loss - Improved Skin Tone - Arthritis Joint-Pain Relief - Increased Energy - Improved Circulation
FREE!
40. 00 Valu e $
1ST SESSION
No risk or commitment.
Must present coupon at time of service.
Center for Detoxification & Weight Management
Select Sunwear Keeping value in sight
The best eyewear. The best value. The best service.
PS / #FMU )XZ 4U +PTFQI .0 XXX TQFDTIPQQF DPN
816-279-0700 2335 North Belt Highway, St. Joseph, MO
stjosephchiropractic.com
2011 january area events
SUN
MON Jan. 3
• 9:45 a.m. and 6 p.m. (weighins at 8:30 a.m. and 5:45 p.m.), TOPS (Take off Pounds Sensibly) a nonprofit, weight-loss support and education group, East Hills Church of Christ, 3912 Penn St.. Call Kay at 364-5354 or Sharon at 232-6339 or e-mail sradtka@ stjoelive.com for more information. Every Monday in January. • 7 to 9 p.m., St. Joseph Camera Club, Rolling Hills Consolidated Library.
If you would like to list your event or meeting in the calendar, please e-mail your information to josephine@ newspressnow.com.
TUE
WED
FRI
Jan. 4
Jan. 5
Jan. 7
• 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of Cowboys for Christ, Pony Express Saddle and Bridle Club, north of K Highway on County Road 371. Call 2387503.
• 7 a.m., Indoor farmer’s market, 3821 Eastridge Village. Every Wednesday in January. • 7:30 a.m., St. Joseph BNI weekly meeting, Pony Express Museum. Call 262-9684. Every Wednesday in January. • 6:30 p.m., Scrap & Chat, at Belt branch, 1904 N. Belt Highway, of Rolling Hills Consolidated Library. Club gatherings are open to the public. The library provides long tables and an Ellison diecut machine for scrapbook enthusiasts to use. Additional date Jan. 19.
• 5 to 8 p.m., Friday Night Wine Tastings, Smooth Endings Fine Wines, Spirits and Cigars, corner of Belt and Beck, (816) 7494WINE, $5 per person. Every Friday in January.
Jan. 18 • 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of ABWA meeting. Call 232-7462.
Jan. 25 • 10 a.m., Welcome Wagon Social Club of St. Joseph, monthly meeting, Rolling Hills Library, 1904 N. Belt Highway. Call 279-1947. • 7 p.m., Introductory session to Creighton Model Fertility Awareness and Appreciation, Heartland Medical Plaza. Course is designed to help couples cooperate with their fertility in family planning. Call 232-2258. • 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, Chillicothe Housing Authority building. Call (660) 707-0097.
6
THUR
Januar y 2011
| Josephine magazine |
Jan. 13 • 6:30 p.m. St. Jo Women On The Go, Moila, dinner, $15. Call 279-4583 for reservations.
SAT
Jan. 8 • 7 a.m., Indoor farmer’s market, 3821 Eastridge Village. Every Saturday in January.
Jan. 20 • 5:30 p.m., Third Thursday Wine Tasting, Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art. Cost is $10 per person. Call 232-9750. • 7:30 p.m., Pony Express Saddle and Bridle Club monthly meeting, north of K Highway on County Road 371. Call (816) 669-3478.
Jan. 27 • 6:30 p.m., St. Joseph Aglow Community Lighthouse, St. Joseph Library at East Hills. Call 390-8081. newspressnow.com/josephine
Check it out
2
4
3
1 1 CHI Bling professional series
lavender ceramic hair dryer generates anion energy to help protect the hair from environmental hazards and reduce static electricity that causes fly-a-ways and frizz. Featuring even heat, lightweight construction, quiet operation, ergonomic design, cool shot button, and diffuser.
Dillard’s $139.99 2 DI LUSSO® tray, our most popular, featuring DI LUSSO® premium double smoked ham, smoked turkey breast and top round roast beef. This tray is complemented with DI LUSSO® premium swiss, cheddar and co-jack cheeses! Perfect for sandwiches or cracker appetizer snack.
HyVee $22 3 Volatile “Ryder” boot combines
western-inspired design with metallic detailing for a look that’s totally chic. Featuring a khaki suede upper with contrast stitching, woven leather and metallic accents on the vamp, rubber out-sole, and 3 inch heel.
Dillard’s $119.99 4 Sleep Sense Henley tee & pants
features long-sleeve white/black newspaper print with contrast stitching. Both of cotton/spandex knit. Each piece sold separately. Buy 2 regularprice Sleep Sense misses sleep separates and save up to $12.00. Items must be ordered at the same time, but can be ordered in any combination of styles and colors -- 2 for $44.00. Tee: $26.00 Pants: $26.00
Dillard’s
5
5 Signature Asian chicken platter
offers a delicious combination of sweet and sour chicken, general’s chicken, beijing chicken, orange chicken, sesame chicken and mandarin chicken paired with a sweet-and-sour dipping sauce. 8-10 servings.
HyVee $25
This item placement advertising opportunity is available to all Josephine advertisers based on a first-come-first-serve basis. Non-advertisers can appear on this page at a charge. Ask your advertising representative.
The
5
tips for life
ready to refinance? Money. Once most people agree to a mortgage, they make the payments and never think much about the rates again. But if you can reduce your interest rate by 1 percent or more, it is often beneficial to refinance. This is particularly true for those with high rates due to less-than-stellar credit scores. If your score has improved, you may qualify for a better rate. Start by asking your current mortgage lender about lower rates. A table of refinance rates that is updated daily can be found at www.doughroller.net/mortgage-rates.
everything in its place
Organize. Every woman knows there’s no such thing as owning too many purses — but there may very well be such a thing as too little space in your home to store them, which can lead them to a slumped existence in a storage tub or closet corner. A solution Real Simple magazine suggests for this sorry fate is utilizing durable metal hooks, placed like hangers on closet racks. Hanging your bags on them is a good way to ensure they keep their shape.
8
Januar y 2011
wake up, sunshine Health. Need something to brighten up these gray winter days? Why not start your day with tangerines, navel oranges or ruby red grapefruit? According to WebMD, these fruits boost your diet with a big dose of vitamin C and potassium, as well as fiber, folate, trace minerals — all for about 100 calories a cup. These sweet-tart treats will have you thinking of warmer days.
| Josephine magazine |
newspressnow.com/josephine
what drives him crazy What is he thinking? Our own Blake Hannon sends this message to all the ladies out there: You may think you have the most sensitive and least confrontational man on the planet. But if you want to see where his rage lurks, jump in the car with him. Whether we are gearheads or don’t know the difference between a Phillips head or flat head screwdriver, we look at our cars as objects of affection and extensions of ourselves. So, when some guy in a Dodge Ram cuts us off, he’s challenging us. Therefore, we will probably let out our anger in some fashion. We may lay on the horn, flip them a disrespectful digit or just yell some sort of foul remarks since our automobile is our moving cone of silence where we can truly be ourselves. We know this isn’t an attractive quality. Forgive these occasional outbursts. They don’t define who we are — not all of us, anyway.
list the good things Relate. This year, make a New Year’s resolution to be thankful for the relationships in your life. Andrea Frazer, a blogger for Good Housekeeping, suggests that making a list of all the things your friends, family and loved ones do for you will help keep your irritation level down at all the small things they do that annoy you, like when a friend neglects to return your Tupperware. Again.
NEW FRAXEL DUAL
Featured on the Today Show Doctor Oz
The authentic, non-invasive Fraxel ® laser treatment just got better!
The Fraxel treatment is a safe, non-invasive laser skin treatment that can resurface damaged skin to keep you looking and feeling fabulous.
Treats: • Deep Wrinkles • Acne Scarring • Sun Spots • Age Spots Improved tone and texture Smoother, fresher & younger looking skin
Before re:store 2 Weeks Post 2 Treatments Photographs courtesy of Solta Medical Aesthetic Center
Discover Fraxel and feel good all over! Our goal is to promote healthy, beautiful skin for patients of all ages by offering the most effective diagnostic and treatment procedures.
20% Off Limited Time
816.364-1507
1419 Village Drive, St. Joseph, MO www.advanceddermatologyscc.com
By Betsy Lee • Josephine magazine
We all know we need to save. It may even be your New Year’s resolution. But the reality is that, for most of us, saving isn’t so easy. Successful savers aren’t magicians, but they do have some secrets that almost anyone can adopt — regardless of income. make a plan
photos.com
The secrets of successful savers 10
Januar y 2011
| Josephine magazine |
Ed Haskell, a Liberty, Mo., investor, started saving nearly half his modest income starting in his early 20s. This habit stuck and by his early 50s, Haskell and his wife had saved a nearly $2.5 million nest egg. His efforts garnered him attention from Money Magazine, CBS and NBC Action News in Kansas City. “I worked hard to figure out how to make it a habit,” Haskell says. “I think that’s important — making saving a habit. I didn’t deprive myself, because, like with a diet, if you deprive yourself, you won’t continue.” Haskell is the first to admit that saving 50 percent of your income isn’t practical for some people. But for almost everyone, some savings is certainly possible. Haskell says he believes most families can save between 5 and 15 percent. Jennifer Lawson, financial advisor with Ameriprise Financial Ser-
newspressnow.com/josephine
vices Inc. in St. Joseph, says this type of savings can be simple. First, she says, have the savings taken directly from your paycheck and deposited into your account. This way you never have access to the money. Next, start with as little as you can afford, so you can be sure to stick to your plan. And when you’re ready, increase the amount of savings any time you can. You can even do something as simple as saving your change from spending cash, then add that to your savings contributions.
cut down on expenses Lawson suggests that people stop buying extras, like $4 coffees. She also recommends canceling nonessential services, such as magazines or cable services. Haskell agrees and also suggests people go online to comparison shop for things like car insurance or homeowners insurance. “Before you buy anything, ask yourself, ‘Do I really want to buy this when the money could be going toward my long-term goals?’� Law-
Wine Tastings Every Friday Night 5pm-8pm $5 Per Person includes glass of wine
son says. “Once you start thinking of every purchase in the context of your larger financial goals, you may be more reluctant to make impulse buys.� Haskell suggests considering each purchase or current investment by how much value it brings to you and your family. “There are so many things we pay for that we don’t value,� he says. “I think people need to look at their spending and think, ‘Did I get value out of what I just spent at the grocery store or Target or Internet service ...?’�
avoid debt When making purchases, Haskell says he and his wife always pay cash. They paid cash for their first home for $105,000 and then, years later, for their second for $200,000. “That was huge for us,� Haskell says. “We were able to continue aggressive savings because we lacked a mortgage payment.� Haskell realizes that not everyone can follow that path, but avoiding debt
where you can is crucial. Credit card debt, for example, should be avoided. “But you wouldn’t want to take a large percentage of your net worth and put it in a depreciating asset, like a car,� he says.
learn to invest Haskell says he started by teaching himself how to make sound investments for his family. And he suggests that others consider doing the same. “That’s the direction I would want most people to go, because you’re taking financial control for the rest of your life,� he says. “You’re not turning it over to people who are not necessarily looking out for your best interest. They are looking to pad their income.� Haskell recommends “The Little Book of Common Sense Investing� by John Bogle as a good starting point. Lawson says investments should depend on individual goals. You could be saving for retirement, cash rePlease see Page 12
Your Favorite Chiropractor! Hydraoge MassNow Bed ughes at H practic! Chiro
Walk-In Cigar Humidor • Walk-In Beer Cave
Fine Wine, Spirits and Cigars
M-Th 10am-10pm; F & S 10am-11pm
(Next to Beck Rd. Cleaners)
Corner of 36th & Beck Rd.
816-749-4WINE (4946)
• Chiropractic • Acupuncture • Aqua Massage
A Family Tradition of Chiropractic Care That You Can Trust!
HUGHES FAMILY CHIROPRACTIC
816-279-3319 • 1918 N. Belt Hwy., St. Joseph Mon.-Fri. 8 A.M.-5:30 P.M.; Sat. 8 A.M.-Noon
CONTINUED FROM Page 11 serves, children’s education or major purchases. People with retirement financial goals should be focused on the long-term. “You should be in a position to ride out short-term market swings and maintain at least a moderately aggressive mix of investments,” Lawson says. “The biggest advantage you have in your favor is time. The longer you let your money work for you, the greater the opportunity to accumulate wealth from the money you’ve saved.” Lawson says many people could benefit from seeing a financial advisor. “Much of what financial advisors offer can be technical and complicated. However, simply serving as a guide and a coach can help clients reach their goals,” she says. “I would ask yourself, ‘Am I 100 percent certain that I’m making the best decisions regarding my finances 100 percent of the time?’ If you don’t answer yes, it’s worth having a conversation to see what an advisor can do for you.”
pass it on to your children Habits of successful savers can be built long before college. Even elementary-school-aged children can be taught about saving. When it comes to young children, consider teaching them how to save for big purchases by setting aside a little bit of their allowance and then going together to get the desired item. Be sure to contribute some of your own funds so the purchase doesn’t seem so far away. For older children, consider a matching plan all the time. “Treat it like your own little matching program,” Lawson says. “For instance, if they get $10 in allowance or a birthday gift, suggest that they save $2 and then match them $1. Once they get excited about saving, it becomes a game to see how much they can put away.”
The
Bride’s Guide Please Call 816-271-8636
for more information
Beautiful Bride
Ameliore Laser & Medispa of Advanced Dermatology
1419 Village Dr. • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 364-1507
GiGi’s
801 Hwy. 71 • Savannah, Mo. (816) 324-2054
Mitchell Park Plaza Pavilion
1300 S. 11th St. • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 749-4663
Rent-All Equipment
410 S. Belt Hwy. • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 233-8253
Stoney Creek
1201 N. Woodbine Rd. St. Joseph, Mo. Images of You (816) 901-9600 518 N. Belt Hwy. • St. Joseph, Mo. www.stoneycreekinn.com (816) 233-1414
Twin Spires Midwest Laser Aesthetics 10th & Angelique Streets 3925 Sherman Ave. St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 232-7546
St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 233-9788 www.twinspirescathedral.com
Mix It Up Salon
Wyeth-Tootle Mansion
503 S. Belt Hwy. • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 232-3950
Cakes and Catering
1100 Charles Street St. Joseph, Mo. 64501 (816) 232-8471, (800) 530-8866
Famous Dave’s
Gowns & Tuxes
5401 N. Belt Hwy. • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 232-3774
Hy-Vee
201 N. Belt Hwy. St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 232-9750
Shirley’s Cake Decorating Supplies 5908 N. Belt Hwy. St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 233-4759
Smooth Endings
3606 B Beck Road St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 749-4WINE www.smoothendingsliquor.com
Celebration Spaces Atchison Heritage Conference Center 710 S. 9th • Atchison, Ks. 800-467-1164
Clasby Center
500 W. Duncan Drive Savannah, Mo. (816) 324-3315
The Elms Resort & Spa 401 Regent St. Excelsior Springs, Mo. 1-800-THE-ELMS
Bridal Boutique
3823 Frederick Ave. • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 233-6946
Just The Two Of You Cotter Travel
3825 Frederick Ave. • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 364-3232 www.cottertravel.org
Love In Bloom Garden Gate Flowers & Gifts 3002 Lafayette • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 232-8682
Village Flowers By Rob
3841 Frederick Ave. East Ridge Village • St. Joseph, Mo. Village Flowers: (816) 232-3326 A. J. August Tuxedos (816) 364-6355
Picture Perfect Deb’s Images
622 Oregon Street • Hiawatha, Ks. (785) 742-7337 • www. debsimagesfastfoto.com
Generation Photo
2207 N. Belt Hwy., Suites I,J,K St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 749-4103
Lura’s Photography 114 N. 7th • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 749-4080 luralandis@aol.com www.luralandis.com
Mobile Memories 886 Last Chance Rd. • Troy, Ks. (785) 850-0508
Pixels Photography 3413 Nickell Drive St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 294-5059
The Studio Photography 2910 Karnes Road St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 232-1484
Ride Of Your Life Duncan Carriages 403 W. 71 Hwy. • Savannah, Mo. (816) 324-3768 (816) 390-5298
Setting Up House American Family Insurance www.amfam.com
Mercantile Bank Riverside • 1602 S. Riverside Rd. St. Joseph, Mo. • (816) 279-5900 Hy-Vee • 201 N. Belt Hwy. St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 387-6600 Savannah • 301 West Main St. Savannah, Mo. (816) 324-4400 www.mercantilebk.com
With This Ring Creviston & Son Jewelry 510 N. Belt Hwy. • St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 233-7990 1002 S. Main • Maryville, Mo. (660) 582-5571
Halbert Jewelers 3855 Frederick East Ridge Village St. Joseph, Mo. (816) 233-8891
I
Josephine magazine photo illustration
Leave work at work By JENNIFER HALL • Josephine magazine
t’s no surprise there’s a degree of difficulty leaving work at work. Most Americans spend a little more
than 2,000 hours at the office each year. Creating boundaries and organization helps, says Kimberly Mayes, an administrative assistant in St. Joseph. “I love my job, but I can’t allow myself to do it all the time,” she says. “If I’m still writing a report during family time or making work calls from the dinner table, then that’s a problem.” But many people find it’s hard to escape the reality of tomorrow’s workload. With today’s technology at the touch of a button, the prospects of working around the clock seem endless. The key is to know what you can realistically accomplish in your eight-hour workday. Setting a pace, making a schedule and delegating projects, if needed,
can establish a solid order to keep work from trickling into your personal life. “The hard part is coming to the realization that you can’t do it all,” Mayes says. “I think it’s just the fast-paced world we live in now.” Remembering to take breaks is good for the soul too, says Anna Chavez. Chavez, a licensed therapist in Kansas City, says that spending break and lunch times away from the office is a great thing. Oftentimes, she says, coworkers continue to talk about work even if they’re not sitting at their desks. “It’s a hard habit to break,” she says. “Regardless of if a person enjoys their job, it consumes much of their world.”
newspressnow.com/josephine
| Josephine magazine |
If you can’t leave your desk or work space in the building, find something to take yourself away. A book, magazine, music or even the television can easily take you somewhere else. Chavez and Mayes also suggest dining with people you don’t work with. “I have friends at work that are my friends outside of work,” she says. “It’s hard for work not to become a hot topic when we’re out. You just have to know how to shut it down.” Letting coworkers know that you do not discuss work outside of work is understandable. When they really think about it, they’ll appreciate how much less stressful their lives have become.
Januar y 2011
13
Where there’s smoke...
If you find you’re in a common car crisis, these steps might help out
14
Januar y 2011
By Kristen Hare • Josephine magazine
A car is a bit like a computer, isn’t it? Most of us know the basics of using the thing — how to get where we want to go, turning it on and off, keeping it clean. But most of us don’t know all the tricks, like the quick keys on your laptop, or what to do when lights start flashing on your dashboard. The difference,
| Josephine magazine |
newspressnow.com/josephine
really, is that your computer might shut down and you could lose some papers and photos, but if your car shuts down mid-road trip, or in bad weather, you could really be in trouble. But you don’t have to be. It doesn’t take a lifetime of working with cars to know when something is amiss. Often, however, it does take that amount of experience to get things right again. “If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t mess with it, flat out,” says David Lopez, general manager of Jake’s Motorworld in St. Joseph. Below are some common car crisis scenarios and what to do when they happen.
check engine light This red or white light, sometimes blinking, can be a bit troubling when it comes on. But you don’t necessarily have to take it literally and pull over to check your engine. If the car is driving just fine, says BJ Rosmolen, owner of BJ’s Auto Collision in St. Joseph, then see how it runs for a day or two before heading to your mechanic. Also, check to make sure your gas cap is on tight, he says. Lopez agrees. No need to stop your trip or turn around and head straight home. “If your car’s running all right, I would go ahead and get to your destination.” If the light does stay on, however, get to the mechanic. The computer in your car may be trying to tell you something, and the mechanic will be the best person to determine what that something is.
helpful advice Even though you don’t have to know every small detail of how your car works to drive it, it is best to understand what all the lights mean, read your car manual and know how to call for help (and who) should a problem arise, suggests AAA.
engine won’t turn over That’s an eerie silence, isn’t it? When the key turns and nothing happens? Obviously you can’t get anywhere when this happens, so Lopez recommends finding someone who knows what they’re doing to check your battery. “It all kind of depends on your mechanical inclinations,” says Rosmolen. He also recommends checking the battery and finding someone to give you a jump-start. If the car does start, either head home from there if it’s late at night, or over to your mechanic to have the battery checked. It could be something as simple to fix as corrosion on the battery, Rosmolen says. If your car won’t start even after a jump, it’s time to call a tow truck and get the car to the mechanic. That’s not a cheap or easy solution, but it may be the only one at that point. AAA’s vehicle breakdown index recommends paying attention to your surroundings when you see a problem coming so you can relate your location to the towing company, stay with your car as you wait and make sure the towing company that comes is the same one that you called.
newspressnow.com/josephine
| Josephine magazine |
there’s smoke This one’s easy. If you see smoke, Rosmolen says, pull over some place safe, like a parking lot or rest stop, and turn your car off. Lopez agrees. “Shut your engine off and don’t open it,” he says. That’s because you could cause more damage, either to yourself or your car. If it’s an oil leak, air from opening the hood could cause a fire to start. If it’s steam from antifreeze, you could burn yourself. Either way, call a tow truck and get the car to your mechanic.
windshield cracks Unlike the other three problems, if your windshield cracks while you’re driving, you can pretty much keep going and probably don’t need to worry too much. But it all depends on the crack, Rosmolen says. If it’s a big one and you can’t see well around it, then obviously go to a glass shop and get it changed. If it’s a small star crack from a flying rock, go ahead and go by the glass shop anyway because they can fix it and keep it from getting bigger. Often, he says, insurance will pay for that, whereas the cost of getting a whole new windshield may be the same as your insurance’s deductible.
Januar y 2011
15
‘‘
It was just having someone to talk about it with, just someone to listen to me when I was happy with the scale and when I wasn’t. — Missy Schafer, St. Joseph mother, on how the Pound Plunge program helped her to lose weight
RIGHT: Missy Schafer dropped more than 70 pounds after signing up for St. Joseph’s Pound Plunge last January. Missy says she wanted to lose the weight for her 3-year-old daughter, Katie. Todd Weddle Josephine magazine
FAR RIGHT: Missy Schafer holds her daughter, Katie, before Missy’s significant weight loss. Submitted photo
16
Januar y 2011
| Josephine magazine |
newspressnow.com/josephine
A fuller life after loss Shedding pounds has been transformative for Missy Schafer of St. Joseph
By Erin Wisdom Josephine magazine
A year ago, Missy Schafer knew she needed to lose weight. But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to make the changes she knew she would need to, at least — and perhaps most of all, she didn’t want to try and fail as she had in the past. But fortunately for her, she caved to peer pressure and signed up for St. Joseph’s Pound Plunge last January. “My boss, who’s also my pastor, bullied me into it,” says Schafer, a former high school teacher and now the youth director at First Presbyterian Church. “I did it kicking and screaming.” Please see Page 18
newspressnow.com/josephine
| Josephine magazine |
Januar y 2011
17
CONTINUED FROM Page 17 A year later and more than 70 pounds lighter, she’s glad she did. Starting out at “224 and some change,” she’d dropped 30 pounds by the end of the 12-week weight-loss competition, which proved powerful encouragement for continuing the lifestyle changes she’d made. Also encouraging was the new sense of self that came with the dramatic change. “All my life, I was the fat kid,” Schafer says. She adds that although she had anorexic tendencies in her 20s, she always gained back the weight she lost while starving herself. But this time around — with healthier eating habits and a several-miles-per-week walking routine in place — she knows her chances at maintaining her new weight are much better. And so are her chances of not repeating in her own life a sad part of her family’s past. Her mother was heavy and died of heart disease one year to the day before Schafer’s daughter was born, making her painfully aware of how
much she didn’t want her daughter to experience the premature loss she had. “I wanted to lose weight for her,” Schafer says of her daughter, Katie, who’s now 3. She adds that the weight she’d gained during pregnancy came off fairly easily, but she wasn’t ever able to drop more until she experienced the accountability she had with her Pound Plunge teammates. “It was just having someone to talk about it with, just someone to listen to me when I was happy with the scale and when I wasn’t,” she says. One of these teammates was Penelope Kress, the secretary at First Presbyterian Church, who notes that she went four days each week without seeing Schafer and could usually see a difference in her appearance after these times apart. “It was amazing,” Kress adds. “She really shows that if you put your mind to something, you’re able to accomplish anything.” Something that has surprised Schafer is how much of a difference
Lose up to 2-5 lbs. a week!
Mary Jane Medlock Lost over 152 lbs and has been able to go off ALL of her medications. I decided to give Take Shape For Life a chance. Not only did I lose over 152 lbs. and shrink to a size 8, but I have also been able to go off ALL of my medications! I could barely walk or breathe seven years ago, and now I teach aerobics - soon to have my personal trainer certification. Thanks to Take Shape For Life, I now live my life in complete passion and fulfillment.
Join NOW and get
2 WEEKS FREE & rewards!!
Be on your way to a happier, healthier, NEW YOU! $)004& )&"-5)
small changes can make: Substituting Truvia, honey and low-fat milk for flavored creamer in her morning coffee; researching nutrition information for fast-food restaurants in order to make the healthiest possible choices on the run; drinking lots and lots of water. As a result, she now loves shopping for clothes. She has energy — as she proved to herself by hiking up a mountain during a recent mission trip to Guatemala and by the way she “danced and danced and danced” during an event with her youth-group students that involved a Dance Dance Revolution competition. And having dropped from a size 22 to a size 10, she’s told all the time how great she looks. For all these reasons and more, participating in the Pound Plunge again this year is a no-brainer — although this time around, it will be a tool for maintaining her weight rather than for fighting it. “I’m comfortable at this weight, and I think I can maintain it,” Schafer says, “even with the occasional ice-cream splurge.”
20,000 doctors can’t be wrong!
> No Diet Pills > Fast Results > Safe & Effective > Clinically Proven > FREE Dedicated Health Coach Get the body you’ve always dreamed of...
You deserve to look and feel your best!!
3925 Sherman Avenue • 816-232-SKIN(7546) www.stjoenewyou.com
Proud of Our Providers
Aaron Hiegert, DDS
Aref Zaman, MD
Mound City Dental Clinic
North End Health Center
Deb Pankau, FNP
Denise Jennings, FNP
Jose Menendez, MD, Psychiatrist
Jaunito Villahermosa, MD
Mark Wick, DDS
Matthew Cianciolo, DO
King City Clinic
NW Behavioral Health
NW Dental Services
Cainsville Medical Clinic
Savannah Medical Clinic
South Side Health Center
Rebecca Draper-Stuck, LCSW NW Behavioral Health
Arihant Jain, MD
Bertie Cronbaugh, RDH
Camilla Hendren, LCSW NW Behavioral Health
North End Health Center
Dorothy Milburn, FNP
Eduardo Fernandez, MD
Emad Khan, MD, Psychiatrist
Ishita Seth, DDS NW Family Dental
Savannah Medical Clinic
Maria Espejo, MD
Hamilton Medical Clinic
Braymer & Hamilton Medical Clinic
Judy Rogers, DO
Family Medical Associates
Michael Stroud, FNP
South Side Health Center
Rhea Williams, FNP
Savannah Medical Clinic
NW Family Dental
Mound City Clinic
Kate Davis, FNP
NW Behavioral Health
Chris Sandberg, MD
North End Health Center
Oregon & Savannah Medical Clinics
Katie Gilmore, FNP
Lesley Johnson, LPD, MS, NCC
Nancy Miller, LCSW
Nicole White, DDS
Patrick Trauernicht, DDS
NW Behavioral Health
Shawn Brown, RPh
NW Pharmacy Services
NW Family Dental
Vickie Kimble, FNP
Family Medicine Associates
NW Behavioral Health
NW Family Dental
Vicky Myers, LCSW
NW Behavioral Health
Cristyn Watkins, MD
South Side Health Center
Jayne Ope単a, MD
Mound City Clinic
Raman Seth, MD, MS
Family Medicine Associates
William Irby, DO
Hamilton Medical Clinic
Dedicated to Quality Healthcare, Available to ALL
Now Accepting New Patients www.nwhealth-services.org
We accept Medicaid, Medicare, most private insurance and offer a discount program for those who qualify.
When Michelle Davis found out she had cervical cancer, Show Me Healthy Women helped cover the cost of treatment.
By Jennifer Gordon Josephine magazine
Michelle Davis went into the family planning clinic for a routine check-up in March 2008 and got a diagnosis that made her queasy. The uninsured mother of three learned the stabbing pains and the fatigue she had been having for months were advanced signs of carcinoma in situ (CIN-3), cervical cancer lesions. Among the questions she had about what to do next, the one she couldn’t answer, the one that left her in a cold sweat, was “How can I afford treatment?” Before her diagnosis, the St. Joseph resident admits five years passed between OB-GYN appointments. Although her three children have Medicaid, Ms. Davis does not. When she sought medical services through the Social Welfare Board’s income-dependent payment services,
20
Eric KEith/Josephine magazine
Show Me Healthy Women helps in time of need State program offers free cervical and breast cancer services
Januar y 2011
| Josephine magazine |
newspressnow.com/josephine
she paid in cash. Cancer treatment would take more cash than she could spare, however. The Social Welfare clinic referred her to Heartland Regional Medical Center’s Women’s Health Clinic for further biopsies, and Ms. Davis learned she’d have to a pay a percentage of the procedure up-front before she could receive treatment. While searching for outside financial aid, Ms. Davis discovered she qualified for the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services’ Show Me Healthy Women initiative. The program offers free cervical cancer diagnostic services and subsidized treatment for uninsured or underinsured women through designated providers such as the Social Welfare Board in St. Joseph. As part of the Medicaid Breast and Cervical Cancer Treatment (BCCT) Act, women who meet the Show Me Healthy Women requirements also receive insurance coverage for their treatments if cancer diagnoses came from Show Me Healthy Women providers. Ms. Davis’ insurance coverage, BCCT MO HealthNet, paid for her biopsies and subsequent hysterectomy at Truman Medical Center in Independence, Mo. Her insurance also will cover her follow-up appointments and any future health complications that stem from her cervical cancer. “It’s not like I don’t work. I don’t live off the system. I don’t try to look for handouts, but my god when I needed that ...� Ms. Davis says with a sigh of relief. Now cancer-free and feeling better than she has in years, Ms. Davis offers what she learned the worst way to other women: “You need to get your exam because it’s better safe than sorry. It’s not a pleasant experience and people think, ‘Oh my gosh, I don’t like doing it,’ but it can save your life,� she says. For more information on Show Me Healthy Women, including a list of covered services and other Missouri providers, visit www.dhss.mo.gov/ BreastCervCancer/index.html.
Interchangeable Necklace or Bracelet
One Necklace...
Better Living
OneBracelet...
Endless Possibilities.
2204 N. BELT HWY., St. Joseph, MO (816) 364-6065 OR 1-800-279-4249
A variety of insurance for the variety in your life.
Tom C. Lemmon, Agent 2524 Saint Joseph Ave. (816) 279-2606 tlemmon@amfam.com
Matt Thrasher Agency, Inc. 301 Illinois Ave. (816) 238-1121 mthrashe@amfam.com
Lee Butler Agency 2721 Pembroke Ln. (816) 279-7770 www.leebutleragency.com
Scott Wineinger Agency 1805 Oak Ridge Circle (816) 233-5659 swineing@amfam.com
Carolyn Sampson Agency 6120 King Hill Ave. (816) 238-5201 csampso2@amfam.com
Rick Hopp Agency 910 N. Belt Hwy. (816) 364-1798 rhopp@amfam.com
Dave R. Price, Agent 910 N. Woodbine Rd. (816) 233-5632 dprice@amfam.com
Chuck Thorburn Agency, Inc. 125 S. 5th St. Savannah, MO (816) 324-3939 cthorbur@amfam.com
"VUP )PNF #VTJOFTT )FBMUI -JGF 'BSN 3BODI 8F PGGFS JU BMM VOEFS POF SPPG ÂĽ $BMM NF UPEBZ GPS DPWFSBHF UIBU Ă UT BMM ZPVS OFFET 4PNF QSPEVDUT OPU BWBJMBCMF JO FWFSZ TUBUF
Call Your Local American Family Agent
"NFSJDBO 'BNJMZ .VUVBM *OTVSBODF $PNQBOZ BOE JUT 4VCTJEJBSJFT "NFSJDBO 'BNJMZ *OTVSBODF $PNQBOZ )PNF 0GGJDF ‡ .BEJTPO 8* BNGBN DPN ¼
‡ 3FW
Breaking bad
A few tips to rid yourself of undesirable habits
By Blake Hannon • Josephine magazine
If you asked someone to describe a bad habit, you’d probably get any number of answers. They can take the form of a cracked knuckle, a lit cigarette, a spare tire from too much snacking or a fingernail that looks like it’s been mauled by a cornered badger.
But habits, like rules, are made to be broken — especially for some of you who recently made New Year’s resolutions. Then again, if you ask someone who’s made their knuckles sound like percussive instruments for years or a pack-a-day type who can’t mellow out without a Marlboro to just cut it out, they will probably tell you it’s not that simple. For some people, it isn’t. But there are several ways to make the act of exorcising these bad habits something you can realistically accomplish.
OWN UP TO IT All journeys to break a bad habit — no matter how short or long — should begin in the same place: acknowledgement that you need to make a change. “The thing that is key to all of this is the individual with the habit has to recognize and accept the habitual behavior to start with,” says Michael Caputo, team leader for the mental health unit at Heartland Regional Medical Center. “If there’s any presence of denial, recommendations or interventions probably aren’t going to work.”
‘‘
I know a person that was trying to quit smoking and every time they had the urge, they would chew on a cinnamon stick. Different things work for different people. — Ilene Schaller, clinical social worker
just pick yourself up and get back toward accomplishing your goal. “Think in smaller pieces of time ... not overwhelming yourself by thinking too far down the road,” says Kate Werring, clinical social worker and operations director of The Guidance Center in Atchison, Kan.
A BENEFICIAL SWAP You’ve already proven that you are capable of forming a habit, but who says it has to be a bad one? Try focusing your habitual nature into something positive (or at least less harmful).
Buy Package of 5 Treatments
FIND THE ROOT It might be easy for some people to admit they have a bad habit. What might be harder is figuring out why the habit actually exists in the first place. WebMD.com says you should take the time to think about what emotions or circumstances cause the behavior. Heck, write it down if you have to, listing how often and the pros and cons of the behavior you exhibit. This will give you the reasons to quit and help you develop the plan of attack you need to make it happen.
TAKE IT IN STEPS Even if you know you need to quit a bad habit, it can seem daunting to think about keeping it up for the long haul. So, make short-term goals. Just make it your goal to go without doing your habit for a few weeks. If you succeed, try it for a few more. If that’s too long, feel free to go by the day or even by the hour to get the job done. And if you slip up,
If you start to get a craving for junk food between meals, get in the habit of drinking a glass of water to help tame your cravings. If any of your bad habits are the result of stress, direct that energy toward exercise or calm it with meditation. Swaps like this can make the act of simply quitting seem more tolerable. “I know a person that was trying to quit smoking and every time they had the urge, they would chew on a cinnamon stick,” says Ilene Schaller, a clinical social worker in St. Joseph. “Different things work for different people.”
Get 1 FREE ( Valued at $100)
10
* Must pre-condition skin with medical grade products Expires 1/31/10
816-596-0043
Microdermabrasion
a non-surgical exfoliating treatment helpful for... • Sun Damage • Age Spots • Fine Lines • Rough Textured Skin
Featuring: • Miche Purses • Sipada Sterling Jewelry • Rock Darling & Trendy Jewelry
1907 Sun Valley
(2 blocks E. of Belt Hwy. off Pacific St.) Alma Rankin (Cidesco Diplome)
Bridal Expo Sun. Feb. 20th 1 pm - 4 pm United Ballroom 6th & Felix
• Local Artwork • Belts • Hats • Accessories • Dramatic Designs & Specialty Gifts
• Tots Squeaky Shoes & Fancy Bows • Beanpod 100% Soy Candles • LOTS MORE!
We have everything 2 make U 2 Trendy! ift Certificates ph, MO 64501 E-Gilab 613 Edmond St. • St. Josetren Ava le Online m o.co dym w.2 . - 6 p.m. 816-749-4202 ww . - 7 p.m. | Sat. & Sun. 11 a.m New Hours | M-F 11:30 a.m
The right to bare arms You can go from flab to fab
By Cathy Woolridge Josephine magazine
Ask women to name which part of their body they
teaches fitness classes. To work those arms, you should really don’t like and you’ll probably get a laundry combine strength training, cardio and a good diet, Carson says. And there are list of answers. You can bet that arms will make a variety of exercises that you can do, that list. And the biggest complaint is wiggle and including using resistance bands and cords, free weights, boxing, stability jiggle arms. balls, kettlebells and medicine balls. Women will skip sleeveless tops and dresses There’s strength training with weight machines, because of that wiggle and jiggle. They even hate to something both pros suggest because the machines wave because once the hand stops, the flab underhelp you to maintain proper form. And then there’s neath the arm just keeps going, kind of like the Pilates, which Deatherage calls “the best overall Energizer Bunny. exercise in the world.” “I call that your friendly muscle,” says Alice And, yes, you can work out at home. Check out Deatherage, owner and manager of Plaza Fitness in collagevideo.com for a variety of exercise videos, St. Joseph. all done and rated by their staff. You can even find That’s not a compliment. workout demos online at sites such as fitnessmaga “We call it the extra wing,” says Kelly Carson, zine.com (check out the arm routines by “The BigNational Academy of Sports Medicine certified gest Loser” trainer Bob Harper). That site also has personal trainer with Anytime Fitness in St. Joseph a fitness tracker so you can chart your progress. If and Smithville, Mo. you’re working out at home, Carson and Deatherage Again, not a compliment. say to use a mirror to make sure you are doing the If flabby arms make your hate-that-body-part list, exercise correctly. Bad form can lead to injury. there is hope. Not the fairy godmother granting a Carson and Deatherage both recommend talking wish kind of hope — that only works for Cinderella. with a fitness professional before you jump right in Exercise is the key to waving goodbye to flabby to exercise. That pro can help you decide what exerarms. cises work best for you and can show you how to do “You’re never going to see the muscle if you still them properly and safely to avoid injury. have the body fat there,” Carson says. The pros also say that you need to start slowly. If The muscle that’s hiding under that body fat is you’re using weights, begin with light weights until the tricep muscle. The muscle in the front of the you build up your endurance. To begin, try two to arm is the bicep muscle. For toned arms, both musthree sets of exercises with eight to 10 reps each. cles need to get worked out. One reason for flabby And, you don’t have to stick with just one type of arms is that women have a tendency to ignore their exercise. upper body, say the pros. Genetics also can play a “You always want to challenge your body and part, as does that little thing called gravity that hapchange things up,” Carson says. pens as we age. But aging is just an easy excuse. Of course, before you begin any exercise program “I like to say the signs of aging are the signs of you should consult your physician to make sure you inactivity,” says Deatherage, who at age 64 still are healthy enough for physical activity.
24
Januar y 2011
| Josephine magazine |
newspressnow.com/josephine
St. Joseph resident Alayna Selsor’s fitness routine includes regular exercises to keep her arms toned. Photo by todd Weddle Josephine magazine
There are countless things a couple can have difficult conversations about, whether it’s that he’s ready to move in and she’s independent, or she wants a baby and he works too much to help raise one or he wants a dog and his girl is allergic. Here are just a few tips to help ease the situation and help you come out better on the other side:
Tip 1
Not only do you have to walk the walk in relationships, it’s also helpful to walk the talk. By removing yourself from your home, you create a neutral territory where everyone feels safe and at ease. Instead of saying the dreaded words of “We need to talk,” try saying, “Hey, babe, let’s take a walk.” Then, when you’re walking side by side, it’s easier to communicate because you don’t have the piercing eyes of your loved one staring you down from across the table. Plus, it gives you the opportunity for gentle touch (like holding hands) that will serve as a reminder of your love and physical connection.
Tip 2
Stay calm. If your conversation turns into an argument, feelings will go unrecognized. Try to paraphrase what your partner said before giving your side of the situation. This will interrupt any cross-complaining that keeps couples from feeling understood. “My biggest tip is to set up a time to talk when both people have had some time to collect their thoughts. This helps my husband and I to lower our emotions, especially if the issue is very debatable,” says Kansas City newlywed Laura Pilcher. “It also gives us the time to be ready and not feel attacked.”
Tip 3
Walk in his shoes, even just for a minute, and try to understand where the root of his concerns are coming from. (Note: This may mean that you need to practice
‘‘
My biggest tip is to set up a time to talk when both people have had some time to collect their thoughts. This helps my husband and I to lower our emotions, especially if the issue is very debatable. — Laura Pilcher, newlywed in Kansas City
your listening skills.) This is a powerful tool that will give you insight into his way of thinking. “I really do think about what Ben, my husband, would do in certain situations before I act. I even wrote this into my wedding vows because it’s so important for me to know where he’s coming from,” Pilcher says.
Tip 4
Don’t play the blame game. Chances are that you’re not perfect. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but admitting your part will give the other person confidence to admit his wrongs, too. And, how good does it feel to hear “I was wrong” from your partner? Pastor Jeff Kirby says to own your own stuff. “Humility is essential. Be open to receive correction, if it is offered in love. And, ‘I am sorry’ goes a long way,” he says.
Tip 5
Listen, listen, listen! There is definitely a lost art in listening, and chances are one of you is better at listening than the other. Listening is hard because it involves a loss of control. If you’re afraid of what you might hear, then
newspressnow.com/josephine
| Josephine magazine |
it feels unsafe for you to let go of that control. But the only way to truly resolve the conflict is to listen, give yourself time to think and then react. By processing what you hear, you will be less likely to overreact.
Tip 6
The time is now. Stay in the present situation and let the past be the past. If you have unresolved issues from the past, that needs to be a separate conversation. Reminding your significant other of all the things he or she has done wrong in the past will only escalate the conversation. Best of all, staying in the present allows for new possibilities to arise. “Be sure the issue at hand remains the issue. Do not pile other issues on this one,” Kirby says. “Statements like ‘You always’ or ‘You never’ are not allowed.”
Tip 7
Play nice. Make sure to keep your voice at a conversation level — no yelling or whining. Don’t criticize either. Criticizing someone for his behavior or thoughts will only make him defensive, which will usually not work in your favor. Just remember the golden rule and treat him like you want to be treated. This tried-andtrue rule has worked for centuries, so don’t think it won’t work for you, too.
Tip 8
Commit to positive action. Every difficult conversation must lead to some sort of action — wouldn’t you rather it be a positive one? Clear thinking is required to form a plan of action, so wrap up the conversation by creating a goal that you can work toward together. “Sandwich the issue between affirmations of love, acceptance and forgiveness by bringing warmth and affection to the event,” Kirby says. “Then, be ready to party after the talk. Nothing is as sweet as great loving after a blow-up.” Januar y 2011
27
average joe
A better you If these ideas don’t work, there’s always next year
Alonzo Weston is a columnist and
reporter for the St. Joseph News-Press. The St. Joseph native has served on the News-Press staff for more than 20 years. He and his wife, Deanna, have two children and a dog. The St. Joseph native is also a sports junkie who doesn’t pick up after himself. If you’d like to suggest an idea for this column, contact Alonzo at alonzo.weston@ newspressnow.com.
things you’ve ever been good at are getting the high score on “Donkey Kong” and being able to fart on command. But try to build or fix something major in your house next year. Women dig guys who can build or fix things.
ast year at this time you were sitting on the same bar stool, in the same drunken state, vowing to be a better man. A year later you find nothing has changed. You still drink too much, eat too much and don’t work out. You’re basically the same guy you were last year, only with less hair and more belly. Your bad habits have had another year to get more deeply entrenched in your psyche. And your resolve loses more grip as you slowly slip into the acceptance that you might be this guy for life. But lesser creatures than you have evolved. You still have a little time to pull yourself out of your own primordial slime of behavior. But even if you don’t change on your own, life itself eventually will force you to transform. One day you’ll find yourself old and in a rocking chair wishing you could still drink, eat too much and chase the wrong women. For your sake, there’s always hope — even if it is beer-fueled hope. And promises are always easier to make after you’ve had a few. The world looks easier, everyone’s your friend and every woman is pretty. So now you’re back up to trying this New Year’s thing again. Let’s give a toast to a new year and another promise to be a new man. Here are a few things you may or may not want to do or change in the next year. If you don’t, remember there’s always next year. Here goes:
• Conquer a fear. You don’t have to beat up the bar bully or go bungee jumping. Try something that you’ve always been afraid to do, like giving a speech or learning to swim. You’ll feel like a better man for it. • Visit a new place. I don’t mean a new bar or pool hall. Get out of town or the country. Expand your horizons. Just seeing another culture or a change of scenery can do wonders. • Quit having road rage. Look at it this way: You were young once and drove crazy, too. And if you live long enough, one day you’ll have someone like you honking and flipping you off for driving too slow. Just relax, don’t stress, listen to some music and you’ll feel better for it. • Don’t go back to your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. They threw you out before. They told everyone in the free world what a freaking weirdo you really are. And here you want to go back and give them more ammunition? There’s a reason they’re your ex. Remember why. • Eat right. A convenience store diet only works when you’re busy running hard and chasing women. That’s because you’re burning off all those bad trans-fats. But as you slow down, that stuff makes you blow up quicker than a Pillsbury biscuit. • Forget the past. Nothing wastes time like looking over your shoulder. What’s done is done. It’s over with and gone. It’s a new year and a new life. May both of them be happy.
• Build or fix something. We know you flunked shop class. The only
28
Januar y 2011
| Josephine magazine |
newspressnow.com/josephine
placed my order and the sweet girl at the counter said, “That will be $14.79.” I reached into my pocket to get her the money when I realized it wasn’t there. She looked frustrated as I dug around, but not nearly as frustrated as the line of hungry people standing in line behind me. Panic hit, but a quick “mental backtrack” reminded me where I had stashed the cash. “Excuse me, could you put a hold on that order for just a minute? I seem to have left my cash in my purse and I need to run to my car and get it.” That was a lie, but at the moment that seemed more appropriate than telling her and the 20 other diners that, truthfully, the cash was in my bra. I stepped away from the counter and took off for the door. I reached the car, climbed inside, took a look around to make sure no one was near, then stuck my hand inside my shirt and pulled the folded cash from my brassiere. Don’t judge me. I am the third generation to use my bra for storage, my mother teaching me the skill after learning it from her mother. It was well known in our family that those two ladies never carried a purse because they had everything they needed under their shirts. Grandma, the one who brought the idea of this technique in load-lightening to our family, had to invent timeand-space-saving techniques because she birthed seven children. When you have that many kids, you can’t carry everything that everyone needs without coming up with some fresh ideas. Let me give an example of her resourcefulness. When I was young, I had a terrible cold and went to stay at her house for the day. I began cough-
ing, and with the skills of a Vegas magician, Grandma pulled a cough drop from a secret place under her shirt. A tissue followed from the same location, and I really expected her to keep pulling them out and throwing them in the air, as if she were part of an act with Siegfried and Roy. For weeks after that interaction with Grandma’s “medicine chest,” I dreamed about getting her on the TV program “Let’s Make a Deal,” knowing whatever Monty Hall asked her for, she was going to confidently pull straight out of her top and win the prize located behind “Door No. 2.” There are several benefits of the “storage bra,” convenience being No. 1. But the great advantages can be overshadowed by its disadvantages. For instance, there was the time my mother was rushed to the doctor in a tizzy after waking up, discovering a lump and demanding a mammogram. The doctor gave her a quick physical and explained that her life was not in danger. She just had a rouge jelly bean stuck in a sensitive area after she had stored a handful in her bra the night before. Before you think, “Yeah, but what about the sanitary aspect of the ‘chest purse,’” let me tell you about the study performed by microbiologist Chuck Gerba. He randomly swabbed the bottom of the purses of 10 women. Every single one of them had at least some bacteria. Most had tens of thousands and a few had millions. One even had 6.7 million bacteria! After hearing those numbers, if you ask me for a piece of gum, would you rather me pull it from my purse or from a clean location next to my heart?
newspressnow.com/josephine
| Josephine magazine |
getting real
Hands-free storage A convenient, but somewhat embarrassing, place to stash things Stacey molluS is a humor columnist
who believes laughter is the best form of exercise and happy people are the best looking people. She loves her family, chocolate, clothes that are stretchy and things that sparkle. You can contact her at queenofchocolates@live.com or follow her on Facebook at “Queen of Chocolates.”
Januar y 2011
29
meal time
Easy pork and bean chili in 20 minutes
McClatchy-Tribune
Helpful hint Diced or chopped onion and green bell pepper found in the produce section of the market can be used instead of the frozen versions.
Wine suggestion This pork dish would go well with a soft red wine — maybe a shiraz from Australia. 30
By Linda Gassenheimer • mcClatchy-Tribune
The great thing about chili is that some like it hot, some like it mild, but almost everyone likes it. And you can put together this pork and bean chili in just 20 minutes. The first chili was probably based on a Mexican meat dish called mole de guajolote, which was made with cubed pork accompanied by fried beans and rice. Americans crossing the border added their own touches. Today there seem to be as many styles of chili as there are chili makers. The degree of heat is up to you. Add more chili powder or fresh chili peppers to suit your taste. Complete the meal by heating a package of microwaveable brown rice. Serve sour cream and chopped fresh cilantro on the side.
Januar y 2011
| Josephine magazine |
newspressnow.com/josephine
mexican pork and bean chili 2 teaspoons olive oil 1/2 pound pork tenderloin, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (about 1 cup) 1 cup frozen diced/chopped onion 1½ cups frozen diced/ chopped green bell pepper 1 cup rinsed and drained canned low-sodium red kidney beans 2 cups canned low-sodium chopped tomatoes 1/2 cup frozen or drained canned corn 2 tablespoons chili powder 2 teaspoons ground cumin Salt and freshly ground pepper 1/2 cup reduced-fat sour cream 1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over high-heat. Saute the pork, onion and bell pepper five minutes, tossing to brown meat on all sides. Add beans, tomatoes, corn, chili powder and ground cumin. Lower heat to medium, cover with a lid and simmer 15 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve chili in large bowls with brown rice, with sour cream and cilantro on the side. Makes two servings.
Nutrition information per serving: 466 calories (27 percent from fat), 14.1 g fat (2.3 g saturated, 6.6 g monounsaturated), 76 mg cholesterol, 36.8 g protein, 54.9 g carbohydrates, 15.9 g fiber, 1197 mg sodium.