Josephine May 2013

Josephine St. Joseph’s women’s magazine

May 2013

Bangin’ bangs

Is this the right cut for you?

Should you wait?

Many women are having children later in life

Just you, two wheels and a chain The right model of bike can make bicycling all the more fun

Garden time

Big blooms for small bucks

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©E. Christopher 2013

editorial: (816) 271-8594 toll-free: (800) 779-6397 advertising: (816) 271-8527 fax: (816) 271-8686 josephine@ newspressnow.com

Our staff Editor Jess DeHaven jess.dehaven@newspressnow.com Presentation editor Paul Branson paul.branson@newspressnow.com Photo editor Todd Weddle todd.weddle@newspressnow.com Designer George Stanton george.stanton@newspressnow.com

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St. Joseph News-Press P.O. BOX 29 St. Joseph, MO 64502

the regulars editor’s note

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events calendar

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the 5

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average joe

28

getting real

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meal time

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inside

Cover photography by Matt Reid/Josephine magazine

cover girl Wendy Habrock is serious about cycling. Not only does she own Horizon Cycling with her husband, Travis, she also makes sure to get in plenty of time on a bike.

“Travis and I are out there six days a week,” she says. “We’ll go out in the trails in the snow.

It’s hard work, but it’s fun.”

The Habrocks have owned the cycling business for about a year, but it was son Chase who first got the family cycling.

“He started us on it,” Wendy says. “We got our bikes so we could play around with him. It just evolved from there.”

Wendy, who also is mom to son Kiefer and daughter Kari, says cycling is a great way to exercise and meet people. If you’re interested in getting on a bike yourself, turn to page 16 for more.

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| Josephine magazine |

May 2013

A heart to help St. Joseph woman forming foundation to aid adoptions

10

To cut or not to cut?

The great bangs debate

12

What is best for your body The foods to eat for a healthier and more beautiful you

14

Ride it out Pick the right bike for your needs

16

Are there advantages to having kids later?

Local mothers, providers weigh in

20

Feeling stressed?

How much anxiety is too much?

22

Top contenders Key issues often cause fights in marriages, but they don’t have to cause the end

24

Bountiful blooms Getting more bang for your buck in the garden

26

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editor’s note

Chuck Thorburn Agency, Inc.

Stephen D. Lorenz, Agent 1109 N. 26th St. (816) 901-9200 stephendlorenz.com

Carolyn Sampson Agency 6120 King Hill Ave. (816) 238-5201 csampsoninsurance.com

Cari Rich, Agent 102 E. Clay Ave. Plattsburg, Missouri (816) 539-3751 caririch.com

Scott Wineinger Agency 1805 Oak Ridge Circle (816) 233-5659 scottwineinger.com

Lee Butler Agency 2721 Pembroke Ln. (816) 279-7770 leebutleragency.com

Matt Thrasher Agency, Inc. 301 Illinois Ave. (816) 238-1121 mattthrasher.com

Dave R. Price, Agent 910 N. Woodbine Rd. (816) 233-5632 davepriceagency.com

Rick Hopp Agency 3201 Ashland Ave. Ste. E (816) 364-1798 rickhopp.com

Tom C. Lemmon, Agent 2524 Saint Joseph Ave. (816) 279-2606 tlemmon@amfam.com

125 S. 5th St. Savannah, MO (816) 324-3939

By JESS DEHAVEN After the slow start to spring this year, many of us are especially anxious to get out and enjoy the outdoors as May arrives. This month Josephine takes a look at two great ways you can do just that.

Nothing says spring like flowers, and this month will find many people out in the yard doing a little gardening. Plants can be expensive, but you can get a great-looking garden on a budget. Christina Hazelwood Heckman talked to area nursery staff for tips to get the most bang for your buck. Turn to page 26 for more.

If you’re looking for an even more active way to get outside, perhaps getting back on a bike might be just the ticket. May is national bike month, so what better time to get a little exercise on a cycle? But if it’s been a while since you’ve taken a ride, you might need a little direction on what’s the best bike for you. Shea Conner talked to some experts about the different types of bikes out there, and you can find that story on page 16.

And since May is the month that we celebrate mothers, we have a couple features on that subject you’ll want to check out. On page 10, Erin Wisdom profiles a local mom working to make adoption easier for families, and Jennifer Gordon looks at the trend of women having children later in life on page 20.

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may

area events

2013

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Every Monday 9:45 a.m. (weigh-in at 8:30), TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) a non-profit, weightloss support and education group, East Hills Church of Christ, 3912 Penn St., 2326858.

Every Tuesday 7:30 p.m. to 8:15 p.m.

Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

Every Wednesday 7 a.m., Farmer’s market, East Hills Shopping Center parking lot off Woodbine.

Every Thursday 10:30 a.m., 3 p.m., 4:30 p.m. and 6 p.m., knitting classes, Keeping Good Company, $20 for four weeks, call 364-4799.

Every Saturday 7 a.m., Farmer’s market, East Hills Shopping Center parking lot off Woodbine.

7:30 a.m., St. Joseph BNI weekly meeting, Pony Express Museum. Call 262-9684.

6:45 to 7:30 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 6711133, $3 a class.

Every Friday 5 to 8 p.m., Friday Night Wine Tastings, Smooth Endings Fine Wines, Spirits and Cigars, corner of Belt and Beck, (816) 749-4WINE, $5 per person.

5:15 p.m. to 6 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 6711133, $3 a class.

May 6 7 to 9 p.m., St. Joseph Camera Club, Rolling Hills Consolidated Library.

May 13 5:30 p.m., Show Me Women Who Care, East Hills Library downstairs theater, celebrating the group’s fifth anniversary. Special “How to win the vote” session at 5:15 p.m. for anyone wanting tips on how to secure funding from the giving circle.

For more information, contact Mary George at 262-2461 or e-mail showmewomenwhocare@gmail.com.

May 20 3 p.m. and 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, 1570 Calhoun St., Chillicothe, Mo. Call (660) 707-0097 or e-mail millergloria@ att.net.

6

May 7 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of Cowboys for Christ, Pony Express Saddle and Bridle Club, north of K Highway on County Road 371. Call 238-7503.

May 21 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of ABWA meeting. To find out more and to make reservations, please call Vickie at (816) 244-5648 the Friday before the meeting.

May 28 10 a.m., Welcome Wagon Social Club of St. Joseph, general meeting, Rolling Hills Library, 1904 N. Belt Highway. For additional information, go to www.stjomowelcomewagon.com.

5:15 to 6 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

May 2 6:30 p.m., St. Joseph Herb Gardeners, program on super foods, A to Z Freshair Fare and Pony Espresso, 112/114 S. Eighth May 9 5 p.m., reception for Women of Excellence nominees, YWCA. May 16 5:30 p.m., Third Thursday Wine Tasting, Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art. Cost is $10 per person. Call 232-9750.

May 3 7:45 a.m., Day of Commitment to Eliminate Racism honoring 2013 winner of Racial Justice Award, YWCA. Call 2324481 to RSVP. May 10 6 p.m. 4th Annual Dash & Dine run/walk, Krug Park. Evening run around the park with pasta dinner for 5K participants.

Proceeds benefit MidCity Excellence. For information, contact Wendy at 232-5113 or register at www.enter2run.

3 p.m. and 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, 1570 Calhoun St., Chillicothe, Mo. Call (660) 707-0097 or e-mail millergloria@ att.net.

7 p.m., Introductory session to Creighton Model Fertility Awareness and Appreciation, Heartland Medical Plaza. Course is designed to help couples cooperate with their fertility in family planning. Call 232-2258.

May 2013

| Josephine magazine |

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9 to 9:45 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

May 11 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Herb and plant sale, Wyatt Park Christian Church, 27th Street and Mitchell Avenue.

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The

5 Money matters

Money | So we’re edging toward the halfway mark of the year, and how are your finances looking? If they’re bad, there’s no better time to change than right now.

The way you should look at your money is you work hard for it, so you should work hard to cultivate it and keep it.

The first thing you should look at is cutting off or finding a cheaper monthly service. I know every time I threaten to get rid of a service like Netflix or cable, they like to pull a last-minute offer to keep me onboard. See if this will work for you.

Second, create a no-spend day that will require you or your family to be more creative with your entertainment and how you eat. It will surprise you, but it also will amaze you at what you are able to do and how much you save.

Third, make a spending plan. Let’s say you want a new bike for summer that runs about $300. Cut that up into payments — $50 one week, $100 a few weeks later. Save so you’re not sweating about whether you can afford a product when you step in the store.

tips for life

Fit for framing Organize | In the spirit of finding new uses for old things, consider this suggestion from Real Simple magazine: Repurpose an old, decorative frame by turning it into a vanity tray that’s pretty as a picture.

Place a piece of colored paper or fabric inside as a finishing touch, and use it as a resting spot for items such as perfume bottles or jewelry boxes.

Cut calories

What’s not being said Relate | Not every friend will let you know if she’s upset about some of your “bad habits.”

Amy Shearn, a contributor for Oprah.com, gives some tips to fix common issues before they become problems.

Health | Exercise and dieting can be a pain in the neck. However, there are some shockingly easy ways to burn up or cut down on as much as 500 calories a day. Some are obvious, like limiting soda intake or watching the serving size on your favorite snacks. Others are pretty surprising: tapping your feet throughout the day, using smaller plates, getting enough sleep, skipping the whipped cream on coffee drinks and even spending a couple hours cooking a big meal are great ways to use up calories without even trying.

Find all these tips and more in the article “25 Ways to Cut 500 Calories A Day” on Health.com.

■ Be on time. If your friends always beat you to your lunch date, start leaving earlier.

Being late sends a message that your time is more important than theirs.

■ Don’t be a copycat. Instead of running out to purchase your friend’s coveted blue heels, admire them. Compliment them.

And get your own unique set of footwear.

■ Only send e-mails you write. Send that good luck/prayer/hopeful message e-mail to where it belongs: your trash can.

The truth about underwear What is he thinking? A thought from our Shea Conner: Jerry Seinfeld once eloquently stated that “Men wear their underwear until it absolutely disintegrates. Men hang on to underwear until each individual underwear molecule is so strained it can barely retain the properties of a solid. It actually becomes underwear vapor.” With this in mind, I recently have tried to revitalize my underwear drawer. I have thrown out the holey Spider-Man boxers that I had since ninth grade. Gone, too, are those hunter green plaid skivvies that had faded into a light chartreuse. I wish more of my fellow men would throw out their old underwear, but they won’t. Why? Because the band is still intact. If something still serves a function, men rarely want to part with it.

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Jessica Stewar t | Josephine magazine

Ade Freudenthal, 3, was adopted by Ali and Joe Freudenthal in 2010 from Ethiopia. He is the couple’s youngest child.

A heart to help

By ERIN WISDOM St. Joseph News-Press

I Jessica Stewar t | Josephine magazine

Ali Freudenthal has started a foundation called Orphan Free to help other families trying to adopt.

t should have taken two or three years to meet him, but for Ali Freudenthal, it took only nine months.

Nine months to the day, in fact, after she and her husband began the adoption process. Nine months, like a pregnancy, like he was a child she’d carried herself.

“And it’s just so funny,” the St. Joseph woman notes, “because he’s so much like us.”

They gave the toddler an Ethiopian name, Ade, meaning mighty warrior. And they brought him home to Ella, Max and Maya. But in a sense, the story was just starting for the family of six.

St. Joseph woman forming foundation to aid adoptions Ade’s adoption in 2010 was the seed of a dream for Freudenthal — one to help others tackle one of the most challenging parts of their own adoptions: Raising the necessary funds. She and her husband, Joe, have worked since then on forming a foundation for this purpose and are close to seeing it come to fruition.

“I’m a stay-at-home mom, and that is my No. 1 priority. But I began to wonder, ‘Is there anything else for me? I need something that is mine,’” Freudenthal says. “And the Lord just laid this on my heart.”

Called Orphan Free, the foundation will take a crowd-funding approach by setting up and promoting profiles of families trying to adopt. People then will be able to donate to the families of their choice, and Orphan Free will write checks to them for the amount raised on their behalf. Freudenthal also envisions partnering with organizations such as Sevenly, which creates and sells T-shirts on behalf of a different charity cause each week.

Beyond this, Freudenthal hopes to eventually begin a school in the southern region of Ethiopia, where Ade was born and where one in five children die before their fifth birthdays, often from treatable conditions such as diarrhea. One reason the number of orphans in the country is so tremendous is that parents simply can’t afford to keep their children — but if there were a school for them to attend where they were guaranteed not only an education but also clean water and one meal a day, “then they’d be more likely to be able to keep their families,” Freudenthal says.

That latter venture is likely a ways off, with Orphan Free taking priority for the time being and with her children still too

Jessica Stewar t | Josephine magazine

A family portrait hangs above the fireplace in the Freudenthal home. It shows Ali and Joe Freudenthal with their four children Ella, Max, Maya and Ade. young to take on the long trip to Ethiopia. But when the kids (now 3, 7, 9 and 11) are older, she envisions the possibility of taking them to spend a month at the school in the summer. She wants them to develop a heart for missions and for the less fortunate — and those who know Freudenthal won’t have any question as to where they get it.

“Ali is one of those wonderful people who loves life and everyone in it. Her enthusiasm and joy are contagious,” Jennifer Morris, a friend of Freudenthal, says.

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“Her passion to help others is inspiring.

Not only does she want to help others, she gets out there and actually does it.”

And if all goes according to plan, she’ll soon be able to help others offer help of their own through adoption. This doesn’t mean, however, that she’s moved on from the possibility of adopting again herself.

“We keep the door open. I’d do it a thousand times,” Freudenthal says. “It’s a really true, genuine love: You take on someone who’s not your flesh and blood and love them like they are.”

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Matt Reid | Josephine magazine

Taylor Hulet, a client with Bliss Salon, showcases her bangs.

To cut W or not to cut?

By BROOKE VANCLEAVE St. Joseph News-Press

hen I was little, I thought bangs were hereditary.

I envied my friends’ hairstyles and secretly mourned that I’d never have bangs because I was born without them, just like I’d never have dimples or blue eyes.

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May 2013

| Josephine magazine |

newspressnow.com/josephine

The great bangs debate Once I found out I was mistaken, I begged my mom to let me get a bangs haircut. She refused, mostly because she hated dealing with her own bangs on a daily basis and didn’t want me to suffer the same fate.

When I started making my own hair appointments in high school, I committed an act of defiance — I chopped six inches off my long hair and instructed my hairdresser to include bangs for the first time. Mom was horrified, but I loved my new ’do and couldn’t wait to experiment with new styles.

That started to change when I realized I had to straighten my wavy hair every day to keep my bangs neat.

And trim them once a month. And pin them out of my face when studying or exercising. On days when I didn’t take the time to style my hair, they stuck out at weird angles, even defying the hairspray and bobby pins I used to keep them at bay.

Over the years, I’ve developed a lovehate relationship with my bangs. I’ll grow them out to rid myself of the annoyance, only to miss the way my hair used to look once they’re fully grown so I’ll snip them short again.

There are a few important things to keep in mind when deciding whether to get bangs and what style to choose.

“Bangs usually work for most everyone, but you have to consider their facial shape and their (hair) texture because naturally curly hair will spring up and will be too short,” says Nancy Zahnd, cosmetology instructor at St. Joseph Beauty University.

Zahnd says the ideal face shape for most women is oval. Getting bangs can help create the illusion of an oval face,

no matter what facial structure you naturally have.

Tish Willoughby and Julie Elliott, stylists at Trendsetters Beauty Salon, say forehead size is just as important as face shape.

“If they have a big forehead bangs are great, but if it’s small it just makes the face look smaller,” Elliott says.

“I think a rounder face looks better with more of a side, more of a swoopy bang, not a straight bang because I think that makes their face look bigger,” Willoughby adds.

Although there are many bangs styles, Zahnd says not every type is right for every person. Some styles are edgier than others, like the blocky, straight-across “Cleopatra bangs” that are more popular on the West Coast than in the Midwest.

She says clients also need to consider their job and lifestyle when deciding whether to get bangs. Women with office jobs who wear their hair down and style it every day are good candidates, while those with labor-intensive jobs who have to keep their hair up and out of their face should probably skip bangs.

Besides face shape and hair texture, other factors to consider are hair thickness and hairline. I have very fine hair, which means it’s easy to manipulate, but a good hair day can turn bad in a matter of seconds. When I have bangs, it’s a struggle to get them to lie perfectly on my forehead without looking limp or stringy. Willoughby and Elliott say getting bangs texturized can help them look fuller and lie better.

I also have a widow’s peak, a hairline that meets at a V-shaped point on my

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forehead. My hairdresser sometimes scolds me when I ask her to give me bangs because my widow’s peak causes them to fall into my eyes and sweep over to the side awkwardly.

Willoughby says clients with widow’s peaks or cowlicks can work with their hair to figure out what looks best, it just takes time and patience.

“A lot of girls don’t know nowadays that when you’re growing (bangs) out, it is super cute to take them and do a little braid and pin them back. So they get impatient and then they just chop them off instead of working with them and trying different styles,” she says.

At Trendsetters, customers who are curious about different bangs styles can try on headbands with bangs attachments. They can see how their face and hair might be transformed with each type.

“I think bangs can make or break a hairstyle,” Elliott says.

Zahnd thinks it’s important to have an honest relationship with a hairstylist you trust. These professionals know your hair better than anyone else and will be frank about what styles will and won’t look good.

“If you know your client well enough, you’re going to know if they’re going to be OK with it or not. ... I always ask a few times before I cut, ‘Are you sure this is what you want to do?’” she says.

Despite my rocky relationship with bangs, I realize this trend is here to stay because of all the cute cuts featuring them. Maybe my constant struggles are simply a labor of love for a hairstyle I just can’t quit.

In fact, I think I’m due for a trim soon.

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What is best for your body The foods to eat for a healthier and more beautiful you

By LINDSAY LADEROUTE Josephine magazine

Y

ou are what you eat as they say, but is this actually true?

Can beauty and health really be transformed through food?

According to recent research, what we eat truly does have a direct effect on our overall health and appearance. Genetics play a role of course, but food has a huge impact on how our bodies work, look and feel. Achieving a healthy and beautiful body is as easy as eating the right foods. You can create healthy hair, strong nails, defy age and sustain your overall health by eating the right foods and utilizing a balanced diet. Read on to learn about what types of foods can help specific areas of your beauty and health, coming from sources such as Women’s Health, YouBeauty, LiveStrong and Sheri Caldwell, store dietician at the St. Joseph Hy-Vee.

Hair

Dull and weak hair can put a downer on any woman’s day. When it comes to hair, it is important to think of your hair beginning at the cuticle. If your hair doesn’t have a healthy base, it cannot grow long, strong or shiny. Hair products can only do so much for your hair if it is not healthy to begin with.

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and minerals. ❯ A deficiency in iron can lead to your hair looking dull and dead. Meat can help amp ❯ Studies have shown that the nutrients up your iron intake. Good sources include lutein and zeaxanthin can slow the probeef, chicken and turkey. If you’re not a gression or even improve AMD. Cooked meat eater, try whole-grain breads, spinach spinach, corn and dark greens such as or beans. collard greens and kale are a great source of these nutrients. ❯ Vitamin C can help deter further damage to your hair, such as split ends and ❯ Carbohydrates with a low glycemic index, dryness. Fruits are the most familiar form such as whole-grain bread, pasta and of vitamin C, but you also can get it from lentils can help deter AMD and strengthen tomatoes, peppers and broccoli. Vitamin C your eyes. Studies show that a lower glyalso helps with iron absorption, which will cemic intake is much better for your eyes lead to healthier hair quicker. than that of a high intake. ❯ Build a healthy scalp, which will lead to Skin stronger and faster hair growth, by eating Dry, itchy, red or flaky skin can be uncomfortmore fish. Fish, such as salmon, have omeable and a bit unattractive. Solving the problem ga-3 fats that help moisturize your scalp from the inside out will help minimize time and and minimize hair loss and dandruff. money spent and give you healthy, glowing and Nails moisturized skin. One cause for lackluster skin Dry, brittle and short nails can ruin a is free radicals: molecules that bond incorrectmanicure or make you self conscious about ly to cells and cause damage. A way to fight your hands. Research about nail growth and free radicals is by eating foods high in certain strength affected by certain foods or nutrients antioxidants. is limited, but there are a few areas known to ❯ Vitamin C helps the production of collagen help strengthen and improve nails. and helps fight off free radicals. It also can ❯ Calcium is the best nutrient to help bones help reverse UV damage to DNA. Besides become strong. Get more calcium by infruits such as strawberries and citrus fruits, creasing your dairy intake with milk, cheese eat more broccoli and bell peppers to add or yogurt. Other options besides dairy more vitamin C to your diet. Add some include spinach, okra and garbanzo beans. flavor to your favorite dishes while getting vitamin C by adding chilli pepper or parsley ❯ Drinking more water can help nails to it. strengthen and break less by replenishing moisture. To add some flavor in a healthy ❯ Add some Brazil nuts to your diet to help way, add a slice of lemon or lime, or drink your skin repair. Brazil nuts contain seletea. nium, a nutrient that can help repair and even reverse sun damage. ❯ Add some Swiss chard into your diet to help nails grow and strengthen. It contains ❯ Chocolate actually can help your skin.

Biotin, a B-complex vitamin that helps Chocolate contains a high amount of metabolize fat and sugar. proanthocyanidins, an antioxidant that can help combat inflammation and moisturize Eyesight skin. If you’re not a chocolate fan, eating Fight off getting glasses by supporting your berries and apples or sipping on some eyesight with the right foods. You can lower your green tea also can help you get proanthorisk for later in life eye problems, such as catcyanidins in your diet. aracts and age-related macular degeneration (AMD), by eating foods high in certain vitamins

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❯ Biotin is a well-known supplement for hair

and skin, but did you know it is found in eggs? Add some eggs to your diet to get the benefits of biotin in a natural way.

Anti-aging We all want to age gracefully. This can be made easy by eating the right foods to help protect your skin, bones and digestion. As we age, it is important to eat healthy and correctly so that our bodies can utilize the right nutrients in order to work and look your best. ❯ Protecting your teeth is a must as you age. Drink cranberry juice to help protect your teeth from damaging bacteria that causes decay. Cranberries also can help deter plaque, which helps your teeth from becoming yellow. ❯ Vitamin A is a super food for your health. It helps regenerate skin cell growth, supports vision and helps your immune system.

A salad of lettuce, spinach and mustard greens is a great way to get high levels of vitamin A. Butternut squash, cantaloupe and apricots are also great sources. ❯ Whole grains can help defer diseases such as high blood sugar and diabetes because they are slower to digest. They also can help lower your risk for certain cancers and heart disease. Read labels on breads, pastas and cereals to be sure they are whole grain. ❯ Fight off UV damage by eating food high in beta-carotene and lycopene. These two nutrients help repair sun damage and can help protect your skin in the future. Great sources of these nutrients are tomatoes and watermelon. V8 juice also is a great option.

Food can truly help you develop a healthier and more beautiful body. By eating the right foods and getting the right nutrients, you can help sustain and beautify your hair, nails and skin and improve your overall health. Natural foods can do wonders for your body and health, so give some of the above foods a try and look for beautiful results.

Wendy Habrock, co-owner of Horizon Cycling in St. Joseph, rides her bike on one of the city’s many bicycle paths.

Matt Reid | Josephine magazine

Ride it out Pick the right bike for your needs

C

By SHEA CONNER | Josephine magazine

yclists all over the country will be celebrating National Bike Month in May, but most adults in St. Joseph don’t even own a bicycle. Maybe that needs to change. It’s time to get our bodies back in summer form, and one of the best ways to do it is by riding a bike, an ideal form of exercise that can help you build muscle and lose fat.

But, first, you have to buy a bike — a process that has grown increasingly overwhelming over the last couple of decades. Not only are the big box stores now offering bikes at lower prices (and lower quality), but also there is a gigantic variety of makes, models and styles to choose from.

Let’s take a look at the types of bicycles before you choose which one is right for you.

Please see PAGE 18

Road bikes

Cannondale Super Six Tiagra | $2,000

Road bikes are designed for riding on paved streets and going fast with swift turns. Featuring skinny tires, a lightweight frame and a riding position that puts you bent over the handlebars, this type of bike is best for traveling longer distances at higher speeds. They’re a popular choice in major metros around the country.

“They’re super easy to ride when you’re on the pavement,” says Justin Maxwell, manager and mechanic for Horizons Cycling and member of the St. Joseph Bike Club.

Road bikes are a joy to ride on the city streets (especially ones with bike lanes like St. Joseph’s soon will be), but they are about as well-suited for a path in the woods as you would be walking in high heels. These quick handlers don’t fare well on rocky or sandy trails, and although the slender frames of these

Mountain bikes

done,” says Shawn Force, owner of Forces of Nature Cycling & Outdoors in St. Joseph. “Road bikes are skittish and a little more temperamental with steering.”

Trek 820 WSD | $370

Mountain bikes have exploded in popularity during the past 20 years.

These bikes have wide tires, usually with knobby treads and a stout frame that is designed to handle rugged trail. Mountain bikes do not ride as fast as road bikes, which is a trade-off for their durability along with a more comfortable riding position.

Mountain bikers sit more upright on these cycles with straight handlebars, which is often a happier choice for people with back problems than being hunched over as you are on a road bike.

“I would definitely suggest the mountain bike for a beginner,” Force says.

“For a baseline mountain bike, you’re going to pay $350 and get a fairly nice mountain bike with some good components. ... For a beginning road bike, you’re looking at a $700 or $800 base model.”

Many times, however, people who buy 18

bikes have become more durable over the years, their slim tires don’t hold up the best.

“If you accidentally hit something with a road bike, that tire’s probably

May 2013

new mountain bikes with lots of impressive features for climbing a steep mountain trail end up feeling like those soccer moms who buy four-wheel drive SUVs that never actually go off the pavement. If you are going to buy a mountain bike, make sure you

| Josephine magazine |

are doing so with the intention of taking it off-road or, at least, on some more arduous paths. Otherwise, you will be paying for unnecessary features and probably missing out on a bike that would be a better choice for you.

newspressnow.com/josephine

Hybrid bikes Hybrid bikes are the compromise between road and mountain bikes that offer the best features of both. If most of your riding will be shorter trips on pavement, Maxwell says this might be the best choice.

“They have flat handlebars and shifters like a mountain bike, but the tires have a more narrow pattern and there’s less rolling resistance,” he says. “It’s a little more confidence-inspiring.”

With skinnier, smooth tires, they typically can go faster than mountain bikes, yet feature the upright seat and handlebar position that many people favor. Hybrids are a great choice for beginners who seek swift rides in town with more durability and comfort than a road bike would provide.

Maxwell says the most popular bike he sells is the Trek 7.2 FX, a great hybrid model with a lifetime warranty (this comes with all Trek bikes) that only costs about $500.

Where to buy a bike The people who run your local bike shops are your best resource on bike buying. These folks are knowledgeable and can offer tips, advice and service that you can never get from the Internet or your nearby big box store.

Giant Rove 2 | $650

Bike shops like Forces of Nature and Horizon Cycling also offer fitting and sizing services as well as lifetime maintenance on brakes, shifters and cables if you buy a bike at their shop.

At Horizon, they’ll even let interested customers take demo bikes out on an afternoon test ride.

“If you’re going to spend $200 on a bike, why not spend $360 and get something that won’t be made poorly,” Force says. “Even with little kids’ and BMX

bikes, the bikes that we sell will outlast five to 10 Walmart bikes.”

Cycle shops also are a great place to find out where to ride, says Wendy Habrock, co-owner of Horizon Cycling.

“Not only do we advise you on the bike that would work best for you, we also can point out trails and easier places around town to ride as you’re getting started,” she says. “On a bike, you really can go anywhere. There’s just no end to it.”

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Kids later in life?

Sait Serkan Gurbuz | St. Joseph News- Press

The Poet family, back row from left to right, Jessica, 25, Andrew, 21, Moriah, 18, father Jeffrey, mother Laura, Liesl, 23 and Sara, 11, and front row from left to right, Jessica’s son Luka, 3, Jacob, 6, Micah, 8, and Shiloh, 3, poses for a portrait on Saturday on the front porch of their house.

Local mothers, providers weigh in on advantages of having children at an older age 20

May 2013

By JENNIFER GORDON Josephine magazine

L

aura Poet and her husband, Jeff, believe in natural family planning.

“We didn’t ‘plan’ any of the kids.

We planned to have kids and then we did,” Laura says.

The St. Joseph couple had their first child, Jessica, two weeks after Laura’s 21st birthday. She gave birth to her last child, Shiloh, at age 43.

| Josephine magazine |

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Having a baby in her 40s didn’t worry her, she says. She used a midwife for her last four kids (the Poets have eight total), and she trusted she’d be taken care of physically and mentally while giving birth.

Like Poet, more women in their 40s are choosing to have children, according to a birth data report recently released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. In 2010, the country’s overall birth rate declined in every age group except 40 to 44, which noted an increase, and ages 45 to 49, which stayed the same from 2009.

When I went to the doctor when I turned 30 and the nurse said, ‘OK, are you going to have any more?’ It was almost like today’s the day. And I was like, ‘Do I have to decide right now?’

own eggs in fertility treatments. Many fertility clinics won’t treat patients at that age unless they use donor eggs.

Boyle says if she sees women in her office who are 32 and don’t have any children yet, she’ll bring the subject up, just to let them know.

Amy Wiedmaier of St. Joseph remembers hearing the talk during one of her appointments. She had two children when she was in her early 20s, and then she and her husband decided to take a break for a little while. “When I went to the doctor when I turned 30 and the nurse said, ‘OK, are you going to have any more?’ It was almost like today’s the day,� Wiedmaier says. “And I was like, ‘Do I have to decide right now?’�

Wiedmaier didn’t have any trouble getting pregnant when she and her husband decided they did want more children. In her early 30s, she ended up having two who are about 17 months apart in age.

Consequences of aging

A recent article in New York Magazine raised questions about how having chil— AMY WIEDMAIER, dren later in life can affect the child. It commenting on a discussion at a doctor’s visit cited Monica Morris’ book, “Last Chance Children,� which surveyed children with older parents and found some worried What’s considered old? more than other kids their age about Though it’s becoming more common, whether their parents would die. having children later in life is no less How she’ll age and in what condition is risky than it was in the past.

Medically speaking, a woman is consid- something Poet has thought a lot about.

She and her husband decided to start ered to be of “advanced maternal age� at running to improve their health and 35, says Dr. Maureen Boyle, an OB-GYN maintain the energy they had with their with Heartland Health. “It’s not like something magic happens oldest kids. “I would guess it depends on what kind at that age, but that’s when statistics start of parent you want to be. We were very to show us that there can be more conactive with our oldest kids when they cerns then,� Boyle says. were young,� she says of advice she’d give At that age, the risk of having a child with Down syndrome is one in 400. When to older parents with young children.

Despite some of the concerns about olda woman’s 45, her chance of having a er parents, Boyle says there’s no evidence child with Down syndrome one in 35, that children of older parents are worse according to the Mayo Clinic. off than their peers.

Women also face a higher risk of mis“When older women are having babies, carriage or losing the baby during amnioit seems like the health and development centesis, Boyle says.

Poet found her last pregnancy ended up of their kids up to age 5 is actually better than younger moms. Whether that’s a being more physically demanding than function of being better prepared, being she anticipated. more financially secure, being more edu“I just ached,� she says. “My hips cated, it’s hard to say,� Boyle says. ached. My bones ached.�

Wiedmaier says in the gap years beDelivery was more complicated, too. tween her oldest children and her youngShe had to take an epidural and almost er children, she and her husband went to needed a Caesarean section. school and figured out their careers.

Afterward, she and her husband made She’s finding that parenting is a little the decision to stop having kids. Though easier with her second two. She’s not she had some regrets about not being as worried about what to expect. Even able to have more children, the difficulty getting up to feed her 3-month-old during she had giving birth to Shiloh made the the night isn’t as hard as it was with her decision a little easier, she says.

In addition to the increased risks, wom- first child.

She’s also more appreciative of the time en over 35 may have more trouble becomshe spends with her family as she gets ing pregnant. Egg quality starts to drop older. off at 32, Boyle says. At 37, the drop-off “I think age allows you to enjoy your becomes more dramatic. Women who are kids more,� Wiedmaier says.

42 or older may have trouble using their

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Feeling stressed?

How much anxiety is too much?

By LISA HORN Josephine magazine

P

assing an exam, driving in rush hour traffic or that bump in the night — life is full of anxiety-inducing events.

“The one thing people need to remember is that anxiety is a natural part of life,” says Donna McKown, an advanced practice registered nurse who is a consultant at Heartland Regional Medical Center. “It actually gears us up to do better mentally.”

Dr. Bill Graham, a psychologist who practices in Maryville and Bethany, Mo., agrees. He uses stage fright as an example.

“A certain amount of anxiety helps actors and actresses and drives them to a better performance,” Graham says.

In other words, to have some anxiety is to be human. It goes back to the days of the caveman hunting saber tooth tigers — our early ancestor’s life depended on a healthy dose of anxiety.

22

May 2013

| Josephine magazine |

newspressnow.com/josephine

But, both McKown and Graham advise, when you can’t cope with everyday life and worrying becomes debilitating, it’s time to seek help.

“When it starts to affect your activities of daily living, you can’t ignore it,” McKown says. “If you can get help before then, it’s better.”

The keys are degree and duration, Graham says. How severe does the person describe their anxiety and how long has it been going on?

Seeking treatment for anxiety is common.

In fact, anxiety and mood disorders are the most prevalent mental health illnesses in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Quite often, a person’s family physician is the first health care provider contacted about anxiety. Typically, he or she will rule out any physical problems first. Thyroid disorders, diabetes, heart problems and other illnesses actually can manifest as anxiety or depression, McKown says.

Another question a primary care provider may ask about is the person’s caffeine intake, since caffeine jitters may be mistaken for anxiety, Graham says.

“People who are always at a high may start thinking it’s normal, and they don’t understand why they can’t calm down,” he explains.

Once a physical problem is ruled out, the health care provider may refer the patient

to a therapist or prescribe medication.

Simply taking a pill for anxiety, though, doesn’t solve the underlying issue, Graham says. Psychotherapy and counseling are critical in overcoming an anxiety disorder.

“It’s a big problem in our society, that we think that pills cure everything,” he says. “They may lessen some symptoms, but they don’t solve the problem.”

A mental health professional can help in identifying triggers to break the cycle of anxiety, McKown adds.

Questions McKown asks her clients include:

❯ “How has this worry, fear or anxiety affected your life?” ❯ “Are you able to make decisions?” ❯ “Do you feel dizzy, short of breath, have heart palpitations or sweating?” ❯ “How frequently do these symptoms occur?

How long do they last?”

As part of his anxiety treatment, Graham starts with similar questions. He often includes relaxation training, which may involve a recording that clients listen to daily to start curbing anxiety on their own time.

Working on redefining ways to think about the fearful situation, or cognitive retraining, is an ongoing process both in and out of therapy. Graham often assigns “homework” for clients that involves journaling to question the fear, relabeling it and

how they would address it if confronted.

In addition to these methods, he encourages his clients to eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep, make time for leisure activities and to try relaxation techniques, such as warm baths, deep breathing, imagery and soft music.

“Find things that help break the cycle of anxiety,” McKown says. “(Try) whatever it (takes) to put the person in a better frame of mind to negate that anxiety.”

Like all health issues, the earlier you address it, the easier it is to treat.

“If it’s anxiety that keeps recurring,” Graham says, “it’s not going to go away on its own.”

No one signs up for unrelenting worry or fear. Seeking help is the first step to reclaiming control of your life and kicking anxiety out of the driver’s seat.

May 1 is National Anxiety Screening Day. National Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week follows, May 5-11.

For more information on anxiety, visit:

■ National Institute on Mental Health, www.nimh. nih.gov; National Alliance on Mental Illness, www.nami.org; Missouri Department of Mental Health, www.dmh.mo.gov.

■ For families raising children with anxiety and other mental health issues, call F.O.C.U.S Empowerment Group (Families Offering Children Unified Support) at 671-9190 or visit www. focusempowermentgroup.com.

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Top contenders

Key issues often cause fights in marriages, but they don’t have to cause the end

By KRISTEN HARE

S

Josephine magazine

ome couples fight about big stuff. For others, it’s little things. But for most, the real issues behind what they’re fighting about can be filed under three categories: money, sex and kids.

24

May 2013

The issues behind those issues are more complex, of course, but in his experience as a marriage and family therapist, Michael DeJong says most arguments fall into those three.

Unfortunately, says Laura Moore, a licensed clinical social worker at Catholic Charities, many couples don’t take the time before getting married to talk about these major issues that can end up becoming a big deal after they’re married.

But that doesn’t mean those couples can’t work through their issues.

Here, Moore and DeJong share some general tips for couples on working together with issues of sex, money and parenting.

| Josephine magazine |

newspressnow.com/josephine

Show me the money

In a 2009 study from Utah State University, researchers found that couples who fought about money once a week were 30 percent more likely to end up divorced than couples who only fought about money a few times a month.

People bring with them past habits about spending and saving, as well as debt, sometimes, and other financial obligations. They also may have different ideas about how they should spend and save.

For a lot of people, says Moore, who has a private practice and works through Heartland Counseling Services, money is

tied to emotional issues, too.

Couples need to communicate their hopes and fears about their financial future and come to an agreement together about financial goals, Moore says.

What are their joint priorities? Where do they want to be in the future?

Both people should share where they’re coming from, and then compromise.

“And stick to it,” Moore says. “And the sticking to it is probably the hardest part.”

And if possible, DeJong says, a couple also might consider seeing a financial planner.

This can help by bringing a third and neutral party in to help a couple make

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Show me the love

When couples cite sex as a problem, it may not be that as much as intimacy, says Moore.

While issues differ from couple to couple, people should schedule dates and special time just to be together. People also should make sure they’re making time for themselves and their own interests, she says, so that scheduling time for a partner doesn’t feel like one more thing to fit in.

Couples also need to realize that, after the initial flame has dimmed a bit, men and women may see intimacy differently, DeJong says.

It’s important for women to feel heard and emotionally close, and if they don’t feel those things, they may not want to be physically close.

“I think communication is important,” he says.

Couples need to talk to each other, share what’s bothering them and resolve their differences.

He also often advises they spend time being physically close without having sex in order to get comfortable with each other again.

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Parenting can add stress to a marriage in numerous ways, from the lack of sleep and loss of free time in the beginning, to differing approaches on child raising as time goes on.

One problem, says Moore, is kids today are over-scheduled, which means parents today are over-scheduled.

It’s important to give everyone in the family time to relax and learn how to be themselves without constant activity.

If parenting is putting stress on a marriage, couples need to talk through their issues and, like with money problems, come up with a set of goals, a list of values and a joint approach for making it happen.

And whether it’s money, sex or dealing with child-rearing, it’s OK to fight.

But you have to fight fair.

One way DeJong tries to help his own patients is by teaching them to do just that. You can find lots of rules on how to do that online, he says, from simple to complex. A few he recommends: you can’t fight about past issues; if you’re feeling hurt, get up, walk away and come back when you’ve calmed down; put a time limit on the argument; and don’t blame the person you’re with, blame the issue.

People want to win, he says, and if that’s what you want in an argument with your partner, then it’s not a fair fight.

“It’s more about communication and problem-solving,” DeJong says. “It if becomes more important to win, then you’ve won the battle but you’ve lost the war.”

Bountiful blooms

Getting more bang for your buck in the garden

By CHRISTINA HAZELWOOD HECKMAN Josephine magazine

W

hat does spring mean to you? If you aren’t someone who dreads the season because of allergies, you’re probably looking at your yard and dreaming up ways to improve it. A little research and guidance can prevent you from jumping in unprepared and help you get the biggest bang for your buck in your garden or landscaping project.

26

May 2013

| Josephine magazine |

newspressnow.com/josephine

The first thing you should consider when planning a garden is the location, size and amount of light it will get, says Craig Hayes, manager and landscape designer at Earl May Nursery and Garden Center.

Krystin Kleinlein, herbaceous specialist at Moffet Nursery and Garden Shop, says you also should consider soil conditions, how much maintenance you want and your ultimate goal (edibles, annuals, perennials, shrubs, trees, etc.).

“Establish a budget and plan. Otherwise, you may become overwhelmed,” Kleinlein says. “Determine a monetary amount you wish to stay within, create a wish list of certain plants you want in your garden/landscape area, and then stick to the budget. You can always add on next year or even later this year when clearance sales occur. Also, don’t forget to account for soil amendment, fertilizers and insect/disease repellents to help maintain your investment. Many people have an idea of what they want their garden to look like and what type of goal they want to reach. There are so many resources out there that help spark an individual’s creativity, however, we are here to help make that idea come to life.”

She says you can bring photos and measurements of your area to nurseries and garden centers where staff members can assist with planning, constructing and finalizing a customer’s plan so the outcome is exactly what you had envisioned.

“We try to create a type of landscaping that will suit each of our unique customers,” she says “The most common basic landscaping garden includes low-maintenance perennials that are planted once and return year after year.”

Lisa Potter, greenhouse manager at Mann’s Lawn and Landscaping, says if you are creating a garden on a budget and are not sure how to start, start small.

“A simple garden that makes a statement is one that has something blooming or color all year round,” Potter says.

“Tulips in spring, daylilies in summer, mums in fall, dry pampas grass in winter.

Plant a few perennials that will bloom at different times during the year. The next year add a few more until the garden is the way you want it. Annuals will give you the most color for less money and will cover more area to fill in the garden.

They are very inexpensive and make a bold statement all summer long and will bloom the entire season and into the fall.

“The one drawback with annuals is that they must be replanted each year.

Perennials are a one-time cost but do cost more initially,” she says. “Impatiens and vinca come in a wide variety of colors and bloom all season. Also try marigolds, salvia and zinnias. Apply mulch to help the

soil hold moisture and keep weeds down.

I personally like a combination of flowers and rocks in a garden or even statuary.

It makes it look more natural and not as structured.”

She says rocks collected along a creek make for great borders or edging in a flower bed.

It is not hard to design a simple flower garden if you know what plants go together.

Sun or shade, bloom time, height or spread of plant are all factors to consider when starting a flower garden, Potter says.

“It is a lot of trial and error, but it is a lot of fun to try new plants,” she says.

“We have people on staff that can get you started with suggestions or design it for you.”

Answering a few questions will help you get started in planning your garden.

What color do you like? What time of year do you want your garden to have color?

Do you want annual, perennials or both?

“Annuals make the most impact but don’t come back,” Hayes says. “They put all their life in blooming to have a greater impact but have to be done every year. It’s usually best to mix varieties.”

Using bold colors will captivate the audience’s attention and give your garden the appeal you’re looking for.

“Establish a focal point,” Kleinlein says. “Utilize a piece of statuary or a potted arrangement in a beautiful piece of pottery for instant gratification. Container gardening is suitable for gardens of all sizes.”

newspressnow.com/josephine

| Josephine magazine |

If you’re thinking about investing in a garden you definitely want to make sure it survives. Choosing plants that are the most durable in our environment can help reduce the risk of loss. Hayes says there are a lot of plants to choose from, but location and the sun and shade factor changes your choices dramatically.

“Missouri has established a list of ‘Grow Native’ plants specific for our area,” Kleinlein says. “These plants include perennials, shrubs and trees. ‘Grow Native’ plants will need some care to help become established in the first few years but will maintain themselves for years to come.”

Visit grownative.org to see a list for our area.

“Perennials are the most durable because they will survive a harsh winter or a very hot, dry summer,” Potter says.

“The root systems are deeper and will help protect the plant. You may still have to water periodically but not on a daily basis. Hosta, black-eyed susan, coneflowers and stella daylilies are all great examples of plants that once established work great to endure our environment.”

Wouldn’t it be great if you could just plant a garden and let it go? If you need a low-maintenance garden, look for plants that are self cleaning or don’t need to be deadheaded, Potter says. They will shed their blossoms and bloom again. Impatiens, calibrachoa, Mexican heather and zinnias are good examples of these plants.

“Annual flowers that self deadhead are extremely easy to care for and maintain with some water,” Kleinlein says. “Perennials that are repeat bloomers or continuous bloomers will help cut down on the maintenance time.”

Specifically, she points to the ‘Proven Winners’ collection, which has developed many low-maintenance plants including: supertunias, lantana, lobularia, diamond frost, shasta daisies, hostas and ornamental grasses just to name a few. Just remember all plants need water to thrive and become established.

Knowing what you want, how much you want to spend and how much time you are willing to invest will send you on your way to planning a beautiful garden.

“It’s not always the easiest to plan your own garden, but the more experience you have the less mistakes are made,” Hayes says. “You need a plan. Most people over plant and don’t allow enough room. You have to know the final result and anticipate what it’s going to look like in two to five years, not exactly how it looks when you’re done. Flower gardens I think give more joy, but each property is different and unique, and so are the people putting them in.”

May 2013

27

average joe

A

Women bosses Male or female, does it really make a difference?

ALONZO WESTON has been a columnist and reporter for the St. Joseph News-Press staff for more than 20 years. He and his wife, Deanna, have two children and a dog. The St. Joseph native is also a sports junkie who doesn’t pick up after himself. If you’d like to suggest an idea for this column, contact Alonzo at alonzo. weston@newspressnow.com.

28

few recent surveys asked people if they would rather work for a male or female boss. Considering that I’m married, I already work for a female boss. There are perks and challenges, but my wife isn’t too demanding. I’d have to say in that regard, it works.

But the survey means working for either males or females in the workplace. In my long work career, I’ve worked for more men than women.

Both sexes had their good and bad points. And I have to say that you deal with each a little differently.

It used to be offices and factories were strictly male domains. The only women around were secretaries, go-fers or somebody’s wife.

Take the TV series “Mad Men” about an ad agency in the 1960s.

The women on the show are, for the most part, treated like sex objects and second-class citizens.

Their job is to take coats, answer phones and entertain clients.

The series now is in its sixth season and in the late 1960s, and two of the female characters are in leadership positions.

One of the women slept her way to the top, and the other one earned it by hard work. But the Neanderthal thought still remains in many circles that any women at the top slept her way there. Too many men and women believe that is absolute fact, which is tragic.

Some of us still don’t respect the work ethic and wisdom of women to succeed beyond the powers of their sex appeal. But many do. And they become our bosses.

One recent survey, as reported on the CBS News website, said only 3 percent of 142 legal secretaries interviewed preferred to work for a female boss. Another survey listed on the site asked a random sam-

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| Josephine magazine |

pling of males and females whom they preferred to work for, and 76 percent preferred to work for men.

A recent St. Joseph News-Press Ping Poll asked “Who makes a better corporate leader?” Out of a total 245 responses, 62 percent said it made no difference, 26 percent said men and 12 percent said women.

One thing I’ve learned about working for a female boss is you can’t get mad at her like you would a male boss. I’ve cursed at male bosses and lived to see another paycheck. You curse at a woman boss and you’re sent to HR quicker than you can say “snicker doodle.” And since women like pink, it’s easier for them to give out a pink slip.

Author Chris Boyles, in his “Thinking Man’s Guide to Working with Women,” said a man can never go to a woman boss and have a buddy-to-buddy chat. If by chance you find yourself in your male boss’s office spilling your guts about some family catastrophe, it’s discussed and dealt with and never brought up again.

“Your slobbering confessional isn’t a convertible currency with a man, not so with a woman,” Boyles wrote. That’s because women despise weakness in men.

“If you really want to get a cold shoulder from a woman, any woman, try crying on it,” Boyles said.

The women bosses I worked for were for the most part fair and decent. The only one I worked for in a factory setting kept calling me “Al” even after I told her several times my name was Alonzo. But the women editors I’ve had, for the most part, I didn’t see much professional difference from the male editors. Their news judgment wasn’t much different. I respected their knowledge and authority.

Yet, I know as long as men are men and women are women there will always be differences in the workplace. Whether a woman is your boss or not, you still can’t treat her like you do your male counterparts or boss. That means no lewd jokes, touches or patronizing behavior. After all, boss or not, they’re still women, still human beings and should be respected as such.

May 2013

A

getting real

popular website today is filled with photos supposedly taken of ordinary people as they shopped in a supercenter in clothing that is, well, let’s say fashionably unacceptable.

A friend sent me a link to this site, and at first, I laughed wholeheartedly as I looked through the photos. My giggles soon were replaced with concern that maybe someone had snapped a few photos of me, and one of my “disasters” was on that site. I was relieved to find I was not listed. Yet. As I looked through the photos, I began to wonder why these people went out dressed like that. Didn’t they have someone in their lives who would be willing to tell them, “You are such a fashion train wreck, it wouldn’t surprise me if a random stranger takes a picture of you and posts it on the Internet!”

Knowing not everyone has a trusted friend to tell them the truth, I decided to be a good citizen and help out. Here are my top fashion pet peeves:

1.

If you are an older woman with a larger bust, going without the proper foundational garment may mean your “upper lumps” might lie on top of your muffin top. This gives you a slight snowman look. Please wear a bra to provide the proper spacing. If you are an older man with this problem, suspenders seem to camouflage the horizontal ledges by providing a vertical distraction.

For males and females, the belt of your pants should rest at the belly button, not pulled up to the third rib or resting on the top of your thighs. The first location makes you look like a pregnant woman.

The second makes you look like you are a little kid playing house in your parents’ clothes. Let me add, whale tails are out. (For those of you who are unaware, a whale tail is what you see when a young lady’s cute little undies stick out above her very lowrise jeans, giving the appearance of the tail of a whale.) For the girls who think this is really sexy, may I remind you, plumbers have been showing

2.

their cracks for years, and we all know no one finds that attractive.

Turtlenecks are for winter only, unless you have a hickey, and then it is acceptable.

Men, shorty shorts are never allowed — unless you are David Beckham.

One percent of the population can wear Spandex, and sadly most of us are not in that percentage. (I’ve tried to make this elastic material work for me, but the tightness of the pants cut off blood circulation to my feet and legs, causing numbness and the need of a walker.)

Seasonably inappropriate footwear, such as socks with sandals — why? If you are expecting it to be so cold your toes will freeze, wear shoes. Also in this category: shorts with winter snow boots. There are no snowdrifts in July.

Never wear your jammies or slippers shopping. It gives the appearance that you are on day three of a “Happy Days” marathon and you just had to make an emergency run to the store because you are out of Cheetos and didn’t take the time to put on “daytime” clothes since you are heading right back to the couch.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Fashion disasters

7.

Now I am not judging, as I have broken most of these rules plus about 47 others, and if there was a prison set aside for those who break fashion laws, I would be in my cell dressed in an ugly red outfit that is too short and clinging to all the wrong places. However, we must be objective when we take a look at ourselves in the mirror before we leave the house.

If at any point you think, “I saw a homeless guy this morning, and he was wearing the same outfit,” or “I could work on the strip in Vegas in this outfit,” you may want to reconsider your choice before you head out to buy that gallon of milk. Or, at least put on a hat and dark glasses so if your photo does end up on the Web, you can deny it was you.

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| Josephine magazine |

What not to wear — unless you want to wind up on the Internet STACEY MOLLUS is a family-loving, fun-seeking, glitter-covered, chocolate-consuming humor columnist and author. She would love to hear from you, so e-mail her at queenof chocolates@live.com or find her on Facebook at “Stacey Jensen Mollus.”

May 2013

29

meal time

Deviled Drumsticks

Matt Reid | St. Joseph News-Press

Everybody likes chicken

W

hen I had my “designer” chicken flock (laying the most beautiful colored eggs) in Sonoma, I soon learned that the wildlife in the neighborhood also liked chicken. An ongoing battle to be sure. In addition, I learned not to give names to anything that might be a potential dinner. So while my chickens scratched happily in their poultry palace (complete with an old stained-glass farmhouse door) I purchased chicken for our meals. Who could eat a dinner made of Crazy Mary or Suzie Silkie or Pretty Polish Polly?

Deviled Drumsticks We did a lot of picnicking in Sonoma. These quick and spicy drumsticks were always popular. Serve warm or at room temperature.

20 to 24 chicken drumsticks 1/3 cup olive oil 1/2 cup Dijon mustard 1/3 cup dry white wine (or dry vermouth) 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper Freshly ground black pepper to taste 1/4 cup minced shallots 1½ cups fresh bread crumbs Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat drumsticks with olive oil and place in single layer on foil lined baking dish. Mix the mustard, wine, salt, cayenne and black peppers and shallots.

Brush mixture over chicken and sprinkle bread crumbs over top.

Bake 50 to 60 minutes or until juices run clear when chicken is pierced. (If chicken browns too quickly, cover loosely with foil.)

Polenta & Chicken Torta Since this must be made ahead of time, it was a staple in my catering repertoire. You can adjust the recipe to use the cheeses of your choice.

the lined cake pan. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least one hour or overnight.

To serve warm, turn torta onto heat-proof plate and reheat in 400-degree oven for about 10 minutes. Slice into wedges and serve.

3 cups chicken stock

Crostini Di Fegatini

1 cup milk

An Italian version of chopped liver was always popular at parties, served on toasted baguette slices.

1/4 cup unsalted butter 1 cup polenta

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

3 tablespoons chopped sundried tomatoes, drain off oil

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 ounces mozzarella cheese, shredded

1/4 cup minced onion

1 ounce Parmesan cheese, grated

1 pound chicken livers, rinsed

2 ounces Fontina cheese, shredded

1/3 cup dry Marsala or sherry (do not use sweet and do not use “cooking sherry” — throw it away)

2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil

2 tablespoons anchovy paste (or more to taste)

10 Kalamata olives, pitted, chopped

3 ounces capers, drained

2 garlic cloves, minced Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste 2 chicken breasts, cooked (poached or grilled) skinned boned, cut into 1/2-inch cubes Tear off a piece of plastic wrap at least 16 inches long and use it to line the interior of a 9-inch round cake pan.

Place chicken stock, milk and butter in a large saucepan and bring to boil. Add polenta in a low, steady stream and cook, stirring constantly until the mixture is creamy, about 20 minutes. Stir in remaining ingredients and turn the mixture into

Freshly ground black pepper to taste In large skillet over medium heat, melt butter with oil. Add onion and livers and cook until onion is soft but not brown and livers are just barely cooked, about four minutes. Increase heat to high and pour in Marsala. When all but 1 tablespoon has evaporated, remove from heat, pour mixture into bowl and cool about 10 minutes. Using tines of a fork, mix in anchovy paste and capers, and coarsely crush the chicken livers. Season well with pepper. Refrigerate until serving time but serve at room temperature.

LONNIE GANDARA TAYLOR is a St. Joseph native who has returned home after a prestigious career in the culinary field. She taught cooking classes in the San Francisco Bay area for years and was a professional assistant to Julia Child, James Beard, Martha Stewart, Simone Beck and Martin Yan, among others. She is a graduate of the Paris Cordon Bleu, the Academie du Vin in Paris and the first culinary class held in the Oriental hotel in Bangkok, as well as being the author of five cookbooks.

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